Resetting Your Misery Meter and Becoming Reacquainted with Joy

By Rob Henderson,

An experience was shared with me recently about an elderly woman who, in spite of some feebleness and health limitations, wanted to fly on a trip to see her daughter and her family. At the airport, her departing flight was packed, so she chose to sit back in the terminal for a bit and wait to board. After most of the congestion cleared, she carefully made her way to her seat, which happened to be towards the back of the plane. Slowly moving down the aisle, she made eye contact with dozens of forward-seated passengers and attempted to share a smile. However, to her amusement and disappointment, only one person smiled back. Of this experience she later reported, “It was as if most of the people on that plane were just too caught up in their own misery.”

This story made me pause and reflect about my own present emotional state and ask, “What does my misery meter read, and am I in need of a check-in with cheerfulness?”

As an addiction counselor, I work with a lot of people who are resetting their emotions and being reacquainted with joy, but it’s also being noted, as stated by our timeworn traveler above, that in much of the general world around us and even in our own otherwise “typical” lives, cheerfulness is kind of hard to come by and certainly not guaranteed. Extensive and growing bodies of research in positive psychology are providing us with an abundance of insights and findings that are moving the needle on the gladness gauge. Let’s take a look at some of the research findings that have the potential to really make a difference.

Joy in Spirituality

Although scientific inquiry and spirituality haven’t always gotten along, research in the fields of spiritual psychology, holistic counseling, and religious studies is uncovering an incredible relationship between spirituality and happiness. Because factors like transcendence, a greater sense of meaning and purpose, hope, service, and mindfulness are often embedded within spiritual practices, it makes sense that experiences of joy are found close by. While some parts of our culture might be shifting away from spirituality, let’s make sure we stay connected. By being honest, open, and willing to pray, meditate, connect with nature, express gratitude, attend worship services, practice mindfulness, search holy writings, connect with positive energy, and beyond, we are aligning ourselves with greater opportunities for joy.

Other Impactful Behaviors That Cultivate Joy

The field of positive psychology now has over three decades of research with hundreds of researchers dedicated to studying behaviors that influence richer and more authentic happiness. In addition to more traditional and obvious happiness indicators like nutrition, exercise, nurturing relationships, spending time in nature, and spirituality, consider a dozen of these potentially less wellknown findings that lead people to joy:

• Avoid overthinking and social comparisons.

• Develop and expand healthy coping skills.

• Learn to forgive.

• Routinely sprinkle variety, novelty, and adventure into life.

• Cultivate optimism and focus on a bright future.

• Increase Flow experiences—activities that fully immerse you in the present moment.

• Be humble and open-minded.

• Ask for help when needed and be a gracious receiver.

• Get more involved in your community and with your civic responsibilities.

• Practice self-restraint and delaying self-gratification.

• Put zest, passion, and enthusiasm into the activities you undertake.

• Laugh often and find humor in life.

About the Author

Rob Henderson is dually licensed in addiction counseling and recreation/ experiential therapy and is a Wilderness First Responder. He also specializes in leisure and outdoor education, youth development, family systems, and parenting. He is best known for his ability to integrate play and a variety of adventures and backcountry pursuits into his private practice as well as with his family. Additionally, Rob is the executive director and co-founder of RITE Trainings, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that “provides for providers” effective, interactive, and affordable behavioral health training and education. Visit www.RITETrainings.org or www.ARETherapy.com to learn more.