Fire up the Grill for Raising Emotionally Healthy Kids

By Chris Eschler, Health and Well-Being Life Coach

Summer is a great time to fire up the grill and enjoy time as a family. Whether it’s hot dogs, burgers, or veggies on the barbeque, it doesn’t really matter. Certainly, we want to keep our families healthy by feeding them nutritious foods, but it goes beyond what’s on the plate. Positive family dinner rituals go a long way towards emotionally healthy children.

Do you want teens who are open and honest with their communication, who have no desire to use drugs or alcohol, and who happily attend church or other religious services without a fight? The solution might surprise you. It may be as simple as sitting down at the dinner table.

According to The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University,* family meal time may create just what you have been searching for. This study reported that five to seven family meals a week can:

• Strengthen parent/child relationships. Family dinners improve the quality of teen/parent relationships. Meal time rituals are a means to open communication, providing time, space. and opportunity where teens can talk and be listened to by their parents. According to the Columbia University study, teens who reported having regular family meals together stated that their parents knew what was actually going on in their lives—50 percent more than those teens who reported a mere zero to two meals per week with their parents.

About the Author

How-To for Creating a Positive Family Meal Ritual:

• Decrease the likelihood of drinking, smoking, or drug use. Teens who reported having frequent family meals were less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs. Of teens participating in five to seven family meals a week, only 8 percent reported that they were very or somewhat likely to try drugs. Regular sitdown family dinners build parent/child relationships. As the quality of these relationships decline, the likelihood of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use rises.

• Enhance the likelihood of religious service attendance. Teens participating in frequent family dinners are 50 percent more likely to attend religious services four or more times per month. Fun fact: teens attending religious services regularly are also two times less likely to use marijuana, and two times less likely to drink alcohol. This is great news for parents who want spiritually minded, drug-free teens.

• Reduce stress. Positive family dinners increase resilience and reduce stress. 46 percent of teens reported experiencing high levels of stress. However, teens in families who had frequent family dinners reported having one and half times less stress than those having fewer family dinners. Frequent family dinners are a marker for a high degree of parental involvement, which, in turn, decreases teen stress.

Don’t shy away from starting up family dinners. Although teens may claim to be too busy for sit-down dinners, 80 percent of adolescents reported that they want family mealtime. Family dinners don’t need to be rigid. Schedule a time that works for your family, and watch the magic begin!

Focus on the family. Sit down and be attentive. Set aside all electronics at the table and shut off the television. You can return calls and texts later. Show you are interested by asking open-ended questions. It doesn’t have to be heavy; topics can be fun and light, such as asking, “What was the weirdest part of your day?”

Make mealtime a positive and safe experience. Leave lectures or hard topics for another time. Think in terms of “meal-time is for connection.” Learn how to be supportive of each other’s goals while at the table. Consider creating a ritual of family meal prayers or voice things for which each of you are grateful.

Create dinner experiences. Try new foods, recipes, or theme foods from other countries. Enjoy a barbeque or picnic now and again. Start dinner conversation with a theme question, such as, “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” Be creative and have fun!

*The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. “The Importance of Family Dinners VIII: White Paper.” Sep. 2012. https://www.fmi.org/docs/defaultsource/familymeals/2012924familydinnersviii. pdf?sfvrsn=967c676e_2

Chris Eschler earned a BS in Marriage and Family Sciences at Brigham Young University-Idaho. As a life coach at Ascend Counseling and Wellness. Chris works with individuals to develop their skills and provides a safe, accepting environment for exploring a wide range of thoughts and feelings. Chris knows that you are the expert of your life and that she is simply a guide. She currently sees couples with her husband, licensed therapist Matt Eschler. Together they assist couples with all couples issues, specializing in high conflict couples work. To schedule an appointment with Chris for life coaching, call Ascend Counseling and Wellness at 435-688-1111 or visit https://ascendcw.com/.