Grat-i-tude (noun): the State of Being Thankful or Appreciative

By Steve Wilson

During this time of year, my thoughts naturally turn to that for which I am thankful. A few years ago, I read Oprah Winfrey’s thoughts on the subject. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more,” she said. “If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. Focusing on the $3 in your wallet will bring you $5 sooner than focusing on the $50 you don’t have.”

Oprah suggested you start by focusing on one thing for which you are grateful. “If you can’t think of anything, start with your breath,” she admonished. As you pause to consider this statement, as I have, recognize that no matter what might be going on in your life, the fact you can take a breath is something for which we can all agree to be grateful. Oprah explained, “Focusing on one thing you are grateful for increases the energy of gratitude.” I like the thought that each of us has the power to “increase the energy of gratitude.”

Think back to the last time you gave someone a gift. If you paid attention, you learned something about the recipient by the way they accepted and acknowledged the gift and the way they made you feel in the process. Did they focus on the gift and give it their undivided attention? Did they unwrap it as if the paper itself was a precious gift? Did they examine the gift as if seeking to understand the thought and feeling you intended to express? Did they look you in the eye and extend a sincere thank you?

Now think back to the last time you received a gift. How much gratitude did you respond with?

A few years ago, I was privileged to witness an amazing giftreceiving experience. My wife, Cathy, an avid marathon runner and veteran of twenty-plus St. George Marathons, was invited to join a delegation to visit St. George’s sister city, Ibegawa, Japan, and to participate in their marathon. I was allowed to pay my own way and accompany her.

We spent an incredible ten days in the home of a delightful couple who afforded us a fantastic opportunity to experience life in Japan. We went grocery shopping, dined at their favorite restaurant, visited a department store, and toured historical sites. What I remember to this day is the fantastic sleep I enjoyed on a grass mat. Communication was difficult but not a barrier. We all listened intently to each other, learned new words, and became surprisingly good at hand gestures.

As our visit came to an end, we gave our hosts a couple of gifts. One was a coffee table book with beautiful pictures of our southern Utah landscape, Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, and of course, Zion Canyon. Our other gift, which I didn’t fully appreciate at the time (although Cathy felt it was a perfect compliment to the book), was a plastic bag full of signature red dirt from the hills surrounding our St. George home.

Though I expected our hosts to say thank you, I was astonished by the way they appreciated our simple gifts. Our male host unwrapped the book with care as if it might have been an explosive device. He immediately began to seriously look at the photographs, stopping to share with his wife. He would often look at Cathy and I and ask specific, thoughtful questions. The book was examined for twenty minutes as if they couldn’t put it down.

When they did, they turned their full attention to the bag of dirt. After looking at its unusual color, they turned back to pages in the book with red rock formations. Nodding their understanding, our female host stood and walked into the kitchen. When she returned, she brought a decorative bowl. Together they poured the red dirt from the bag into the bowl. Using a small spoon they smoothed and leveled the dirt. Then they went to the front door where there was a small table. They cleared a space and set the bowl on the table. Our male host then said, “Everyone who comes into our home will now know about the red dirt from the home of our good friends in America.”

I was taught about gratitude that day from our friends in Ibegawa. I learned one can express gratitude in a way both receiver and giver feel joy—even when the gift is a bag of dirt. I learned gratitude has a peculiar, almost paradoxical quality. A grateful expression can be spoken or unspoken, written or unwritten, seen or unseen but can always be felt.

Giving thanks brings fulfillment while failing to do so invites an emptiness that can’t be filled, no matter how valiant your attempt or how much “stuff” you try to fill it with.

Gratitude costs nothing yet requires a personal investment every day; while it’s not a possession, it must be owned before it’s given. Gratitude leads to joy, peace, and contentment. To live life in thanksgiving is to spend more time appreciating what is in your life than complaining about what is not.

Steve Wilson

About the Author

Steve is the former CEO of St. George Regional Medical Center, St. George, Utah. He authored next—Redefining Retirement; Lessons for Life’s Transitions with Lisa G. Larson and speaks frequently to those preparing to leave their careers. He serves on the Board of the Institute for Continued Learning. His post career “hobby” is real estate investing, and he is Associate Broker for Utah First Property Management, a company his son Bryan founded. To contact Steve go to wilson.stg@gmail.com.