Candid Conversations with Candice

By Candice Smiley

How to meet people online when you can’t just “go for coffee”

I’m going to wax nostalgic for a moment? Remember the good-ole-days when you could go online or onto meetup.com and scroll through the seemingly endless options for physical networking events to go to? And I don’t want you to go throwing money at the problem. This isn’t about spending money on ads - regardless of the platform. That’s advertising. I want to talk with you about communication and conversations; remember the adage that...

we do business with people we know, like and trust.

Does your virtual presence make you cringe?

What if you could begin to see your social media presence as a resume you are always adding to. It's like a beacon to connect you with your tribe. It's the simplest and most affordable way to create a group of raving fans. And once you have raving fans, then the algorithms can work in your favor and put your profile in the face of other people just like them.

Tip 1: Use the live or video feature. Right now people are desperate for real. Our social media feeds are cluttered with loud noisy voices that are yelling at you - telling you what to think, believe and feel - about everything. Be the quiet, real, raw voice that will gently draw your ideal person to you. Show up, look your camera in the eye, and then speak to us… not AT us. And I just heard you groan. I know - we all HATE the idea of using video. This is the equivalent of online public speaking - and how many of us would rather die than public speak? Yes. I get it. I know what I just asked you. So, if the live-time element is what is stopping you, then I am going to gently suggest that you get out of your own way - and record a video and post that. At least until you can become brave enough to go LIVE.

If I’ve tipped you off to a new idea here are three simple things to knock your next LIVE out of the park.

Plan.

What do you want to say? Why do you want to say it? Who are you sayin it to? Can you say it in 2-4 minutes?

Where will you set up?

How is the lighting?

What time of day? (Best times include before between 8:30 and 9 am and evening when people are online)

Prompter

There are a ton of apps or ways for you to plan this. Maybe its just notes that are taped above your computer,

but you wouldn’t just show up to a networking event without a plan of what you wanted to say, so set yourself up for success when you plan to put yourself out there online.

Practice

Mirror work is my favourite. I love getting dressed in whatever outfit I would network in. Right down to the heels! Put your make up on girlfriend! Then I stand in front of my mirror and I practice. I smile. I go through what I want to say at least 4 times.

If you really want to be accountable? Announce that you are going to go live, what day and time, and then invite your best gals to join you to support. (I dare you!)

Tip 2: Take it to messenger (regardless of the platform) as soon as possible, with permission. One of the very simplest ways to beat the algorithms (or turn them in your favor) is to take your conversation off the “wall” and into messenger. Its called “social media” for a reason.

Some of us originally have a hard time getting the idea of the computer or the tech being “in the way” - we don’t like the disconnect. One way I get around this is to remember that how you do one thing, is how you do everything. So, just begin to “show up”, go live, post or comment as you would as if that person was in front of you, and you will be surprised at how energy and intent travels through the screen and into someone’s life. (And they will thank you for it!) LinkedIn is my jam. For me and my business, it's the only place I go to connect and grow my network. There are a ton of reasons why this is, but the main one? People are on LinkedIn to network, find work and grow their businesses - so I’m not trying to convert a friend-keeping-finding platform like Facebook to be something it's not.

My niche audience and target group are already there, and they are showing up to. Tip 3: Add people every day. Be selective. Start a conversation. Not sure what to say? Take your “elevator pitch” or your “1 minute introduction” that you used to use in person at networking meetings and put that into one succinct sentence (or two) and use that.

In all of this don't let yourself worry about polish or being perfect - think instead about poise and posture, of your smile, or how much value your self, service or offering will bring to the world right now.