Untangling Busy Schedules

Parents feel the intensity of their family’s overpacked schedules

Story by Brandon LaChance

There is no written formula to life. No one knows what lifestyle is the best or how to make it work. However, modern families are feeling the struggle with their daily tasks, duties, responsibilities, and activities quickly filling up their schedules, leaving little time to decompress. If you’re feeling the pressure of an overpacked schedule, you’re not alone. These Illinois Valley families are coping with the same issue.

The Tony and Tanya Milus household in Mendota has been manipulating schedules and Google Maps for years for full-time jobs and activities for six children ranging from 20-to-1 ½ years old.

“It’s pretty much on me. I am home with the kids, and he works long hours and 45 minutes away,” said Tanya Milus, 34, a Peru native. “He does help during his one day off during the week, which is usually Wednesday. Other than that, it’s me. Right now, my schedule starts with Domenic needing to be at driver’s ed at 6:30 a.m. every day Monday-Friday. Then he has basketball.

“In the evening, I juggle three baseball schedules and two soccer schedules,” she added.

Tony is a sales and finance manager at Gjovik Chevrolet in Sandwich. For the last 1 ½ years, he has been driving 45 minutes to work and 45 minutes back after long days. On his off day, he helps as much as he can with the five children who are at home: Domenic Richey (15, Tanya’s son from a previous relationship who will add football practice to his schedule in August), Elizek Milus (11, two baseball games and two practices a week), Camden Milus (9, one baseball practice, two baseball games, two soccer practices, and a soccer game every Saturday), Bentley Milus (6, one baseball game and practice a week and one soccer game and practice a week), and Maverik Milus (1 ½, eats, cries, sleeps, smiles).

Peyton Milus (20, Tony’s son from a previous relationship) does not live in the house, but he was the start of Tony and Tanya learning to juggle schedules.

“I try to stay as in-tune with Tanya as much I possibly can. I have a calendar at work that I put all of my sales on – anything we sell goes on it with the customer’s name – but also, I have to fit all the kids’ schedules in the calendar’s little square,” said Tony, who is 36 and a 2004 Mendota graduate. “That means their baseball, soccer, practices, and what Domenic has going on because he is now in driver’s education every morning. I do everything I can to stay as well organized as I can and not forget something. But I’m a man, and we forget almost everything. Tanya has to remind me about a lot of things.

Tony admits he’s a work in progress when it comes to juggling an intense family schedule.

“She has always been 100 percent about our kids. I’ve had to work on that. I’m one of those who on my free time, I want to do other things. I’ve really scaled that back and taken a bigger approach to actually doing dad

PHOTO SUBMITTED Meet the Milus family, with this picture featuring the boys and mom together. Front row (left to right): Camden (Cam), Bentley (Benny), and Elizek (Eli). Back row: Domenic Richey (Dom), Peyton (Pey), Maverik (Mav), Tanya, and Tony.

PHOTO SUBMITTED Domenic Richey dribbled the ball up the court last year when he was a starter for the Mendota boys’ basketball freshman squad.

stuff. I’ve honestly just grown up. I’ve grown as I went,” he said. “I can see it with every kid. I can start with Peyton, who is almost 20, to Maverik, who is 1 ½, and between you can see how much better I got with every kid. She’s always been consistent. If it wasn’t for her, I promise you we wouldn’t be where we’re at today.”

The calendar helps Tony, but according to him, it’s all about the communication. The couple didn’t have all the schedule kinks worked out originally, but after learning a text or a quick phone call can save an argument and get the children where they need to be with as little hassle as possible, communication has been the number one priority.

“You have to have communication. It doesn’t work without it. There is no secret to our marriage and us raising kids. There are going to be struggles, and everything isn’t sitting in a perfect line,” said Tony. “Being able to be on the same page most of the time, and I stress most of the time, works really well. If you’re not on the same page and one side doesn’t know what’s going on, it is very, very difficult.

“For instance, Wednesday is my day off, and I’m taking Maverik to get his shots. Honestly, it’s the first time I’m doing it by myself since she isn’t coming with me, but that’s the part of me helping her, so she doesn’t have to worry about so much stuff. She sets all of those appointments and does everything.”

PHOTO SUBMITTED Maverik tries to get his shades on as he joins his mother, Tanya, on a shopping trip.

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PHOTO SUBMITTED Bentley wades in the water.

PHOTO SUBMITTED Camden pulls up to take a jump shot at the basketball court at Strauss Park in Mendota.

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Staying at home with the boys is enjoyable for Tanya, but sometimes it can be taxing.

Every once in a while, when the school-age boys are in school, mom takes a little time for herself.

“I do send Maverick to daycare two days a week to keep my sanity,” Tanya said. “When the kids were in school, I did have time to myself, which usually consisted of grocery shopping by myself and necessary things like that. There were times I’d go work out or get a pedicure. Now that it’s summer break, I still try to run and get things done by myself. But I usually get a couple phone calls while I’m gone to straighten the children out at home.

“I always say the summer is my busy season and it’s from April to July. I’m normally on my own with the kids – and if one kid has a baseball game in Spring Valley, another has a baseball game in Mendota, and another has soccer practice across town – I get overwhelmed trying to get everyone where they need to be because I like to be on time for everything,” she said. “I’m also really bad about asking for help. I will wait until the last second. I don’t know why, it’s just my thing. I feel like I should be able to get it all done, and I can’t.”

While they may not contact other family members until the last minute, they’re able to figure out their schedule with the help of each set of their parents, brothers, sisters, and close friends.

Busy can equal stress. But active, enjoyable schedules and family can be a delight as well. For Tanya, even during the times when she feels she is going to lose her mind, she thinks about it and wouldn’t want it any other way. Her sons are enjoying life, and they will always have someone there for them even when Tony and Tanya are not.

Tony shares the same happiness with having six sons.

“My favorite part of being a dad is that I’ve always been a big believer – you raise them how you want them to be when they grow up. Then you watch as the older ones teach the younger ones what you’ve taught them,” Tony said. “Even though you have to reiterate things, you don’t have to worry about stressing it as much as you did with the older ones because they do it for you toward their younger brothers,” he said.

“I was a lot harder with Peyton, Domenic, and Eli. I watch now as they tell their younger brothers (Camden, Bentley, Maverik) wrong from right,” he said. “They do it in a loving way. They’re not jerks about it. That’s the most enjoyable thing for me as a father, they take the qualities you’ve given them, and they share with their brothers.

“We have two baseball games every night. It is so much fun watching your kids grow up and play baseball and basketball. I’ve been blessed for literally the last 15 years to watch these kids play sports and see the joy on their faces when something good happens. Most of my kids are so mentally strong that even when something doesn’t go right, you’re still proud of them for the fact that they don’t let it get the best of them. They don’t get upset. I’ve always told my kids their team is the most important thing. Watching them interact with their teammates even when they’re not having a good game is a really great thing.”

Besides reoccurring schedule and bussing issues, the only other everyday issue is attention.

Like every child, the Milus boys want every minute they can get from their parents, and sometimes they want it solo.

Tony and Tanya know attention needs will

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FROM PAGE 20 always be an issue, but they do their best to accommodate ice cream dates to the park or watching professional games on TV.

On a weekend in June, the Milus parents took Eli, Camden, and Bentley to a trampoline park and a hotel so they could swim. The next day, Tony and Eli put their cowboy boots on and went to a Travis Tritt concert.

Tony says they try to live by Tanya’s approach to subside the attention issue: ‘Whatever makes them happy.’

The Milus family is not the only family in the area dealing with busy schedules and the hustle to get everyone where they need to be.

Here are some other examples of Illinois Valley families managing their busy lives as best as they can:

JAMIE ELLIS AND RYAN FONDEROLI, SUBLETTE

“It takes a village. I’m teaching in DePue. Dominic (15) is in three sports at St. Bede with golf, bowling, and tennis. Sophya (11) plays travel softball (plays for Rage) and basketball, regular season volleyball, basketball, track and field, and summer softball in Amboy. JioVanny (8) and Stella (6) go to Amboy and are involved in basketball, baseball, soccer, and softball,” Jamie said.

“I try to do as much as I can, but Grandma and Grandpa (Catherine and Larry) Ellis do the most between dropping off and picking up. Grandma and Grandpa (Velma and Bob) Fonderoli, some of Sophya’s teammate’s parents (Callie and Pat Bodmer, Ashley Krieser), my sister (Connie Hunt), my niece (Ashley Vickery), my nephew (Tyler Hunt), and my aunt and uncle (Roberta and Fred Pohl) all help as well since sometimes we have three different games going on at three different venues with long distances between. So far, it works. I love my village, and I’m very thankful for everyone,” she said.

RYAN AND PAULA WIDOLFF, COMPTON

As of June 21, Ryan – who joined an ironworker’s union in 2008 – has only had 34 days off in 2022. He worked every day on the calendar in both January and May and has been to nine different states, some of them twice. Paula is an auditor at Rochelle Community Hospital who works from home part-time while taking MAX AND TIFFENY EVANS-SEE, MENDOTA

Max works 12-hour shifts from 7 a.m.-7 p.m., while Tiffeny works 4-9:30 p.m. The days when both parents have to work, Max has one hour to pick up their three children – Aaron (10), Damian (3), and Liam (1) – and give the two younger ones a bath to get them in bed on time. He also tries to make sure he spends quality time with Aaron and makes sure he reads for a half hour.

Max said it’s easier in the summer, but when school is in session, Tiffeny has to get Damian and Liam ready early so she can pick up Aaron from school and then rush them to the babysitters.

BRIA BROMENSCHENKEL AND DEREK PIECHA, LASALLE

Addison is a 12-year-old who plays travel softball for Aftershock year-round and city softball during the summer. Kaden is a 13-year old who plays sports all year, including city baseball, travel basketball, and he races dirt bikes competitively. While keeping them both on high honor roll, Bria works full-time at an oral surgeon office, and Derek works full-time with the City of LaSalle. Derek also plays softball for the Oglesby Men’s League.

Bria says, “We’re currently juggling six sports between the three of them. There isn’t one day of the week that we don’t have at least one sporting event, including the weekend. Most days are spent running around while passing our son, Ky, who recently turned 1-year-old, back and forth. We make sacrifices to make it all happen, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Hey, it’s fun, right?”

JOHN AND STEPHANIE HANSEN, MENDOTA

John is the Mendota girls’ varsity basketball coach and works for JJ&L Carpentry, while Stephanie is an assistant auditor at First State Bank.

Here is what a day looks like for them: From 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. John is on a roof. After a full day at the bank, Stephanie is at OSF in Mendota with Jack (six months) for a hemophilia treatment, from 3:30 to 5:45 p.m. Owen (3) goes to soccer at the YMCA from 4 to 4:50 p.m, and bowling league is at the Elks Lodge from 5 to 6 p.m. Summer basketball practice takes 1 and a half hours. Lilly (6), Zeke (4), and the rest of the family then need to eat, shower, and get ready to do it all over again.