who’s on staff? editorial EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Liv Velarde CREATIVE DIRECTOR Paige Wilson FEATURES EDITOR Amber Mitchell PRINT FASHION EDITORS Elena Odulak Alana Valko DIGITAL FASHION EDITOR Alexa DeFord PRINT DESIGN EDITORS Katie Beukema Xinyi Liu
business PUBLISHER Serena Pergola ACCOUNTS DIRECTOR Connie Zhang
DIGITAL DESIGN EDITORS Aliya Falk Manda Villarreal
MARKETING DIRECTOR Christi Suzuki
PRINT PHOTO EDITORS Kenzie King Becca Rudman
FINANCE COORDINATORS Savannah Klein Ella Radice
DIGITAL PHOTO EDITOR Francesca Romano
EVENTS COORDINATOR Courtney O’Beirne
STREET STYLE EDITOR Evan Parness
OUTREACH COORDINATOR Ellie Benson
MANAGING PHOTO EDITOR Benji Bear
ADVERTISING COORDINATOR Claire Dickerson
VIDEO EDITOR Rosalie Li
DISTRIBUTION COORDINATOR Colleen Jones
DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Emily Benderoff
SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR Molly Shulan
ILLUSTRATOR MANDA VILLARREAL
SHEI /’sh(ay)/ Magazine was founded in 1999 as an Asian Pop Culture Magazine and became affiliated with University of Michigan Student Publications in 2013. Our Digital Magazine, known as SHIFT at the time, was launched in 2015. Since then, SHEI has grown to campus wide recognition as a publication that students can come to for fashion, art, and culture commentary and inspiration.
who’s on staff?
contributing members STYLISTS Cassidy Caulkins Rachael Curry Nick Farrugia Elizabeth Hayley Amreen Kanwal Krit Kosotrakul Paxton Leatherman Claire Manor Lily Marks Juan Marquez Lily McCann Alexandra Plosch Jenny Ruan Bryan Sauer Jasmine Smith Abby Ziemkowski WRITERS Katherine Feinstein Chloe Becker Sophie Reveal Morgan Rubino
PHOTOGRAPHERS Eliz Akgun Alex Anderson Kim Cabrera Lucy Carpenter Katie Corbett Nick Daniel Dana Dean Julia Dean Sam Goldin Natalie Guisinger Amira Hassan Sophia Hughes Anurima Kumar Alex Leav Michelle Lin Robina Rranza Jenny Ruan Romir Sheth Kat Yang GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Eliz Akgun Elizabeth Marics Carly Lucas
PRINT LAUNCH STUDY LOUNGE | Feb 22nd 9-11pm 1220 S University Ave, Ann Arbor, MI 48104
in this issue
MASTHEAD 02 LETTER FRO B CLEA STUDEN V
2 OM THE EDITOR 08 BREAK THE ROUTINE 10 BALANCE: FINDING MINDFUL PRACTICE 24 SPLIT SURROUNDINGS 26 CHAMELEON EFFECT 40 AR SPACE, CLEARER MIND 50 STREET STYLE 54 RECULTIVATING SPACE 60 DUDE WHERE’S MY CAR? 64 NT SPOTLIGHT: JORDAN FURR 78 VINTAGE DREAMS 84
letter from the editor
{
{
This month we’re thinking about practice, routine, how we operate in the space that we occupy. We all relate to these things differently, but it’s worth encouraging everyone to examine their own view of them. There are very few things that I do every single day, but one routine that I cannot go without is a daily coffee. Lately I’ve disrupted that routine by pledging not to use single-use cups and buying a reusable Keurig cup so that I’m not throwing away all of that plastic everyday. By examining this routine and others (I also refill my Juul pods instead of creating so much technological waste), I can find a balance that helps both myself and the others around me. Routines keep us sane but examining how we can alter them helps us all in the long run. The balance between predictability and spontaneity is important. Even though searching for a balance in routine can lead to an important development in self care, sometimes you need to just “say fuck it” and dress up with your friends like the only responsibility you have in the world is to have fun. In “Break
the Routine” on page 10, the SHEI team captured that buoyant sense of freedom and excitement. One of my favorite shots in the magazine is on page 19. I’d suggest screenshotting and making it your new phone background to remind you to let loose every once in a while. “Split Surroundings” brings us a shoot full of spaces that have us questioning what it is that we’re looking at. The team utilized the multifaceted showrooms of Ikea to create contrasts that are interesting to look at and also make us wonder about the way that we occupy a space with someone else. There’s a push and a pull that keeps things interesting. Sometimes it’s enough to just romanticize a space and sit back and enjoy its beauty. In “Vintage Dreams” on page 84, stylists and photographers have worked togeter to create one of the most mesmerizing shoots surrounded by the colorful walls and textures of Rackham. Pause the routine and enjoy the models floating through a space so entrancing that could only be possible in a film or in our dreams.
Liv Velarde Editor-In-Chief
break the routine
DIRECTOR JENNY RUAN STYLISTS ELIZABETH HAYLEY KATARINA KOVAC JUAN MARQUEZ PHOTOGRAPHER JENNY RUAN GRAPHIC DESIGNER MANDA VILLARREAL MODELS JUAN MARQUEZ CHARLIE RAAB BRYAN SAUER
Orange Shorts - Akira Orange Belt - DollsKill Reflective Pants - DollsKill Reflective Shirt - Akira Reflective Jacket - Vintage
Black Jumpsuit - Fashion Nova Red Shoes - DollsKill
Yellow Caution Shirt - DollsKill
BALANCE finding mindful practice Sitting at Espresso Royale between my hour break between classes, I sat there obsessively cross referencing my Canvas course assignments with my Google Calendar. For the upcoming Sunday, my typical work day, I assigned time slots for which readings and work I would do for each class. After adding these assignments, I blocked off times for when I would work out as well. I wondered, not for the first time, whether this was healthy. My Google Calendar is filled with events from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep. I thrive on predictability and structure. This is how I plan when I am going to get my work done, when I am going to work out, and when I am going to spend time with friends. As January 1st approached, however, I had time to rethink what I wanted this upcoming year to be like. I noticed living like this was not healthy. It is definitely better than being unorganized and lacking time management skills, but there is a balance I need to strike. It is nice to know what my upcoming week looks like, but I can enjoy my life and find pleasure from the unexpected. I have to give myself room for variety and surprises. My New Year’s resolution is to live in the moment. This did not mean I couldn’t plan for upcoming due dates and dinners with friends. However, it did mean giving myself a little room to take things as they come. For example, I would not plan the order of what work I have to do first and when I will do it. If I had spare time between classes, maybe I would take that time to relax. At first, this new goal made me feel a little uneasy and unproductive as school started. A week into it, however, I noticed I was just focused on what was in front of me. That is what is the most important. My before bed ritual usually includes checking my social media
WRITER CHLOE BECKER GRAPHIC DESIGNER ELIZABETH MARICS
and what I have going on in the upcoming week. I realized that both of these activities put me to sleep thinking about the past (social media) and the future (calendar). Instead, I decided to start reading before bed. I noticed that reading makes me fall asleep easier and happier. It is truly focusing on what is in front of me and not fixating on the past or future. Recently, I read a book about the Swedish idea of “Lagom.” This word basically translates to “not too much, not too little.” There are many ways to incorporate this mindset. During the day, Swedes tend to take coffee breaks to meet up with friends. This is an example of balancing work with relaxation. This mindset also emphasizes the importance of time alone. It recommends taking walks alone to just think and appreciate what is in front of you. Both of these were easy to adopt since coffee shops and friends were ubiquitous on central campus. I often walked to class alone, too. This time, however, I would make the conscious effort to put my phone in my pocket and focus on what was around me. This philosophy resonated with me and reinforced my idea of what I wanted my New Year’s resolution to be. For example, when it comes to being healthy, we are told to cut out everything that is bad for you and follow a certain diet. Or when it comes to being successful, we are told to drop everything and work hard towards that certain goal. Those resolutions rarely last long and take lots of will power. Living like that makes me tend to forget about what is important. It is unhealthy to fixate on only one thing. The concept of “Lagom” promotes moderation. In this way of looking at life, I could appreciate my love and comfortability for routine, but also be aware that too much of it is not good either.
SPLIT SURROUN
NDINGS
DIRECTOR JASMINE SMITH STYLISTS RACHAEL CURRY NICK FARRUGIA PAXTON LEATHERMAN PHOTOGRAPHERS MICHELLE LIN ROBINA RRANZA GRAPHIC DESIGNER FRANCESCA ROMANO MODELS LOUISE BARNARD DAN NEWOIT JR LOCATION IKEA
Navy Blazer - Liz Claiborne Navy Shirt & Pants - Calvin Klein White Blouse - Urban Outfitters Jeans - Liz Claiborne
DIRECTOR ALEXANDRA PLOSCH STYLISTS CLAIRE MANOR CASSIDY CAULKINS PHOTOGRAPHER ELIZ AKGUN GRAPHIC DESIGNER ALIYA FALK MODEL ALLY WINN LOCATION Z GARAGE DETROIT
Yellow Beanie - Urban Outfitters Camo Pants - Amazon Orange Coat - Zara Green Top - ASOS Sneakers - Champion
Red Beanie - Urban Outfitters Red Puffer Coat- Charlotte Russe Track Pants - Nasty Gal Blue Jeans - American Apparel
Fuzzy Sweater - Nasty Gal Plaid Pants - Target
CLEAR SPACE CLEARER MIND As my parents and previous roommates would surely attest, I’ve never been the neatest individual. Rather, I like to think of my living spaces as areas of “organized chaos” — where there may be clothes draped over chairs, coffee mugs scattered about, and an unhealthy amount of Bath & Body Works candles stacking up — but, hey, at least I still know exactly where everything is. Now, it’s not that I’ve never wanted to tackle the mess (trust me, my mom has tried to convert me into a neat-freak for the past 19 years). It’s just that I’ve never been able to find a method of organization that has truly worked for me, or more importantly, has lasted long enough to become a regular routine. That’s where Marie Kondo comes in. If you haven’t seen all the buzz on social media, on January 1st, Netflix released Tidying Up with Marie Kondo — a new series that spotlights the work of a Japanese “celebrity tidying consultant.” Using tips from her 2011 book, Kondo drops in on disarrayed American households to implement her
trademarked KonMari method of organization into their daily lives. Her method is simple: If you pick up an item, and it “sparks joy,” then you keep it. Kondo claims that when something sparks joy, you’ll just know — a feeling that can only be described by the visual of Marie kicking back one foot, lifting a finger in the air and squealing “ting!” In the past, whenever I’ve tried scouring the Internet for “the best decluttering techniques,” the advice that I get is totally opposite of Kondo’s. I’ve been told that I have “hoarder” tendencies just because I have a little bit of nostalgic attachment to certain items. I’ve seen the minimalism trend take off in the media, where millennials seem to quickly and effortlessly rid their homes of junk. But in my eyes, those ways of thinking just come across as negative and impractical. How is someone supposed to free their space of clutter if the process just makes them feel guilty for overbuying and shameful for holding on for too long? After binging “Tidying Up” over my winter break, I made my way back to Ann Arbor. With my arms
full of Christmas presents, I stood looking around my room in disbelief. If I didn’t have enough space for all of my belongings before, I definitely didn’t have enough space to add any new items into the mix. There was no amount of playing Tetris with my bookshelf, desk, and drawers that could save me from the clutter. In that moment, I knew it was time for a lifestyle switch. I was going to bring the KonMari method into my dorm for the rest of the year — whether my roommate liked it or not. I began by ripping out all of the clothing stuffed inside my dresser. Feeling extremely overwhelmed, I queued up a YouTube video of Kondo’s upright-folding method and got to work. I found some pieces lodged behind the drawers that I didn’t even know that I had brought up to school. To free up space, anything that I hadn’t worn in the past month was thrown into a storage bin under my bed. Everything else was color-coded, and this time, neatly placed back into the dresser. The next section of my room in dire need of attention was my desk. Just looking at the mountain
of old assignments and meaningless sticky notes that had piled up was enough to make me anxious. I wanted my desk to be less of a placeholder and more of a functional piece of furniture, so I sorted through each piece of paper, recycling almost everything. Come to find out, there are few feelings as satisfying as having a semester’s worth of work be out of sight and out of mind. At this point in the first day of my organization kick, I remember feeling pretty good about myself. I was proud that I had been tossing items that I normally would have bargained with myself to keep. Even though this whole organizing thing would take some getting used to, I was at least confident that I could do it. It was refreshing. Now about three weeks in, my little 15x15 in Alice Lloyd still doesn’t feel like some serene palace. But it does feel calmer. While I still haven’t achieved the title of trendy minimalist by any means, toning down the excess has made
the atmosphere of my room more conducive to decompressing after a long day. I’ve set myself into a routine, of sorts, where now, coming back from the laundry room means folding my clothes right away — not letting them sit around in the laundry basket for hours like I did before. I’m trying to get rid of any miscellaneous papers I rack up before I even enter my room, just to be safe. In truth, I’m trying to get rid of a lot more than just papers before I enter my room — take-out meals, unnecessary items of decor, negativity. For once, I just want my space to maintain its positive, clean aura, because without it, my wellbeing was suffering. Now more than ever, it’s clear to me that your space is truly one of the greatest reflections of yourself, which is why it’s extra important to show it frequent and consistent love. While change doesn’t happen overnight and the results may be subtle, if you take a some time to declutter your space, you might just end up decluttering your mind as well.
WRITER MORGAN RUBINO PHOTOGRAPHER AMIRA HASSAN GRAPHIC DESIGNER CARLY LUCAS
EVAN MEEK @_.e_e_e_e_e_e_e._
APELETE HUANGBO
STREET STYLE PHOTOGRAPHERS EVAN PARNESS KIM CABRERA LUCY CARPENTER NICK DANIEL SAM GOLDIN JENNY RUAN ROMIR SHETH KAT YANG GRAPHIC DESIGNER MANDA VILLARREAL
GIAN PEREZ @giansound
ALIYAH ANZALDUA SMOOT @aliya.tia
THEA ROWE @splendaslut
JAMES VONDUKKUMBURG @j.ameson
WILL GAO
HOW TAUGHT ME TO
SPACE IN
Before I started my yoga practice last winter, I had long viewed exercise merely as a way to burn calories. Yoga, on the other hand, seemed harmless compared to the cruel, calorie-counting elliptical. Though I was intrigued by the flexibility and grace of the poses, the reputation regarding its spirituality made me shy away. Being a skeptical Agnostic, anything that encouraged me to connect with my spiritual self felt like BS. However, when I signed up for the 200 hour Yoga Teacher Certification Training (YTT), I had no idea what I would discover about myself through my own spiritual practice. For four months, I spent 12 hours a week practicing different styles of yoga and discussing yogis like B.K.S. Iyengar and Deborah Adele. Through these discussions, I learned that yogic spirituality is overall rooted in ending suffering through positivity and a healing routine of self-love. Incorporating the spiritual aspects of yoga into my practice taught me how to really love my body and infuse my relationship with myself and others with that positivity. One thing I had to get used to was journaling. I had never spent much time thinking about how exercise made me feel outside of the amount of calories burned. The newest part of this routine, though, was that this reflection did not involve any judgements on my feelings. It was not a matter of “I was tired going into today’s class and skipped an extra side plank and I suck because of that,” Instead, it was merely a conscious recognition of the fact that I went into class on that given day and felt tired, and it affected my practice. I would no longer label this discomfort in a self-deprecating way, and this new approach taught me that being self aware isn’t about realizing that you’re not “working hard enough.” It involves the ability to identify feelings of discomfort and sit with them. It wasn’t until I gave myself time to check-in that I realized a lot of my compulsive behaviors regarding exercise were rooted in the negativity that I had internalized instead of learning to acknowledge it.
This philosophy helped me re-evaluate other aspects of my life that were not serving me in a positive way. One of our teacher trainers, Risa, would always say during class that “the way you do yoga is the way you do most things in life.” During class, if we were holding a particularly hard pose Risa would say, “What is the worst thing that will happen if you stay in this pose? You’re not going to explode. Find your edge and sit with it.” She would also point this out during the meditation at the beginning and end of class: for some people (myself included) not fidgeting was actually the most challenging part. It seemed like a simple concept - the idea that I wouldn’t explode if I stayed in an ‘edgy’ pose - yet I realized that this was another place in my mentality that usually led to negative thoughts and suffering. Subsequently, I found that the way I approached hard yoga poses was similar to how I navigated my relationships outside of the yoga studio. For example, I have long struggled with the fear of missing out, or “FOMO” Freshman year I would force myself to go out five days a week-regardless of my school workload or exhaustion-just because I was convinced that I would lose my friends or miss out on a fun night if I skipped a party. However, I realize now that I was mostly terrified of confronting the feeling of insecurity I would have staying in--it would mean sitting with the insecurities surrounding my relationships, as if I would explode if I had to watch the Snapchat stories of my friends having the best time regardless of if I was there or not. During teacher training, I learned to confront these insecurities and, while validating and accepting my feelings about my relationships, I had to accept that staying in would force me to sit with these emotions instead of going out to avoid them. A specific mantra of yogic Buddhism that I gravitate towards is one of the Four Noble Truths, Samudaya. This Truth dictates that all humans suffer, and that the origin of that suffering comes from yourself. Further, freedom from this suffering is possible but requires inner reflection and inquisition.
One aspect of relieving suffering that we focused on in YTT was that most suffering stems from the human habit of attachment. We naturally attach ourselves to things- emotions, people, relationships- and therefore become stubborn in refusing self growth and detachment from things even when they’re not serving us. I began to think of all of the possible attachments in my life, and realized that most of my daily anxieties or suffering could be linked to an “attachment” of some sort. For example, in my parent’s divorce I always joke that, between my brother and me, I was the “defiant child.” When it came to us meeting my parents’ new partners, I was completely closed off to the idea of having a ‘new family.” I met them with disinterest, and was convinced that I didn’t need them in my life. I thought that fighting these strangers and their introduction into my life would end my suffering and make me feel better about the divorce. However, after learning about yogic philosophies like Samudaya, I realized that creating that suffering is actually harder, and requires a lot more energy than simply leaving behind my attachment to this defiance and accepting my Stepparents and Step Siblings as extra people to support and love me. This year, I decided to make peace with myself, end my suffering, and go to Thanksgiving with my Stepfather’s family with an open mind and heart. I went into YTT expecting to get physically stronger and more flexible, but hadn’t even imagined reevaluating things in my life I was convinced I was content with. The practice of yoga isn’t about doing the most chaturangas or mastering impressive handstands: it is centered around being proud of whatever your body can accomplish on a given day, and honoring this pride by practicing healing and kindness towards yourself and others in your daily life. I’m still not very religious or the most flexible of my training peers, but I now know that I have the tools to create my own happiness and actively improve my relationships.
WRITER KATHERINE FEINSTEIN GRAPHIC DESIGNER ELIZ AKGUN
DUDE DIRECTOR LILY MARKS STYLISTS AMREEN KANWAL KRIT KOSOTRAKUL PHOTOGRAPHERS DANA DEAN ALEX LEAV GRAPHIC DESIGNER MANDA VILLARREAL MODELS NEIL CHANG-CLARKE JOEL DANILEWITZ
Coat Outfitters Vest- -Urban Vintage Beret Outfitters Shirt -- Urban LL Bean Suit Thrifted Pants - Levi Strauss
Brown Scarf - Burberry Sweater - Urban Outfitters Jeans & Jacket - Thrifted
STUDENT SPOTLIGHT: JORDAN FURR To many, Computer Science (CS) is a stressful, calculating STEM degree, but to sophomore Jordan Furr, it’s a place where he can express himself. “In a way, it’s a very creative way of thinking” he explained. To Jordan, CS is like a digital puzzle, once he puts the pieces together he can build something tangible. Jordan found himself at the University of Michigan in 2017 specifically for the school’s CS program, and he has not been disappointed. Right now he is working with a team on a Blockchain project (“the world’s most trusted allin-one crypto company,” according to its website) where they are coding and developing a zoo where the animals digitally reflect, proportionally to the real world, the scarceness of their species. Although this has been rewarding, Michigan has offered more to Jordan than just the CS program. At school, Jordan has been able to find himself for the first time. In September of 2018, Jordan began gender-affirming hormone replacement therapy. He grew up in Utah as a member of a Mormon family, a faith known to be unsupportive and dismissive of the LGBTQ+ community, subsequently making his journey especially difficult. Jordan’s family eventually left the church and moved to Paris, but their support has still been difficult to acquire. Like many trans individuals, Jordan’s coming out has been a process, met with hiccups along the way. As a teenager Jordan first came out as gay and although his family initially pushed back, they eventually became more accepting of him. Then when he told his parents about his transition, they threatened to cut him off financially. Luckily his grandparents have continued to support him and Jordan is optimistic about his parents. “I feel like they will come around,” he said, “because they just will. But I feel like it’ll be awhile,” he concluded.
WRITER SOPHIE REVEAL PHOTOGRAPHERS ALEX ANDERSON NATALIE GUISINGER SOPHIA HUGHES GRAPHIC DESIGNER MANDA VILLARREAL
Since starting his transition at school, Jordan reported things have improved exponentially for him. Jordan explained sometimes he feels as though he has lived two lives, the one before his transition and the life he is leading now. Jordan has noted that how others perceive him has greatly impacted the way they treat him. “I notice these very subtle sexist things” he explained, “It’s terrible, but now when I talk people pay more attention to me, or when I walk in the room I feel like my presence is more acknowledged.” Although he expressed some concerns with the societal pressure to “pass” (when a transgender person is perceived as being cisgender), he explained that feeling the effects of his transition, like his voice lowering, has made him feel happier and more comfortable. Since starting his transition Jordan now feels more comfortable dressing the way he actually wants rather than the way he felt others expected him to. Living in Paris Jordan became more fashion conscious, and was especially inspired when seeing people wear pronoun pins — little labels that read their gender identity. While studying at a coding camp in Berlin, Germany, he had an idea for a more accessible and stylish way to normalize gender pronouns for all people. “I wanted to create something that was appealing to people who weren’t also trans.” Furthermore, his mood improvement inspired him to help other trans people going through a similar process. “Being able to transition had raised my mood so dramatically that I want that opportunity for every trans person that wants to transition” he said. STAR Laces was born.
STAR Laces sells shoe laces with gender pronouns printed in bold black font across them. The laces are “designed with the intent to normalize pronouns in a creative and stylish manner” and 100% of the proceeds go to helping fund trans people’s hormone replacement therapy and gender -affirming surgeries. Each set of laces costs only $7, but gives the customer a chance to donate up to $9 if they are able to do so and feel that the product is worth more. The name of the business gives homage to S.T.A.R., the first trans focused organization founded by two historic trans women of color, Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson. The laces sold out super quickly after the site went public, so Jordan teamed up with optiMize at Michigan with hopes of getting funding to continue and expand the business in the upcoming months. Although selling out of the laces was an accomplishment for Jordan, what he is most proud of is going through with his hormone therapy despite threats from his family and pressure from others. His advice to other trans individuals experiencing similar things is to “hang in there” because when you can finally be yourself, “then it’s worth it.”
V STYLISTS LILY MCCANN ABBY ZIEMKOWSKI PHOTOGRAPHERS KATIE CORBETT JULIA DEAN GRAPHIC DESIGNER MANDA VILLARREAL MODELS CHRISTINE LEE ALEX MCMULLEN LOCATION RACKHAM STUDY LOUNGE
I
N
T
T A
G
E
Brown Boots - Vintage Red Boots - Dr. Martens White Turtleneck - H&M Black Sheer Top - Macy’s Grey Wide-Leg Pants - YesStyle
Green Button-Up - Urban Outfitters Black Overall Dress - Asos Pants - Levi Strauss
Dress - Vintage
Plaid Dress - YesStyle Black Turtleneck - Dunnes Red Turtleneck - H&M Tan Cardigan - Macy’s
Green Pants - Zara Loafers - Vintage
like what you see? WEBSITE: sheimagazine.com INSTAGRAM: @shei_magazine FACEBOOK: @SHEImagazine For advertising inquiries contact sales@sheimagazine.com