6
Beer
Thursday, October 30, 2014
@NSScene H NorthernStar.info/DeKalb_Scene
Scene
Miller
(Lite, Genuine Draft, Miller 64)
$14.99
24/12oz Cans -
159 Lincoln Highway, DeKalb (815) 756-2223
Coors
(Original & Light)
$14.99
24/12oz Cans -
Keystone Jack Daniels (All Types)
750mL - Whiskey
(Ice & Light)
$19
.99
30 Packs -
$10.99
Liquor Smirnoff (All Flavors)
$12.99
750mL - Vodka -
Skol 1.75L - Vodka -
Ryan Ocasio | Northern Star
$11.99
Captain Morgan 1.75L - Spiced Rum -
$23.99
Four-month-old Marla, who is available for adoption at TAILS Humane Society, 2250 Barber Greene Road, can prevent black cats from crossing your path. Puppies keep superstitious animals from tormenting your soul.
5 tips to fight off ghouls
Jägermeister 1.75L - Liqueur -
$36.99
Seagramʼs 7 Crown 1.75L - Whiskey -
$19.99
Save Oct 15-31, 2014
Kevin Bartelt Scene Editor H @KBJournalism
You can’t catch a break from monsters these days. They’re always under beds, hanging out in the closet or crossing your path in kitten form. Protect yourself by applying my advice. Remove bed frame I’m constantly covered in sweat while wondering what’s under my bed. A zombie? An evil clown? My unsigned high school yearbooks? How could 300 people not have a pen on them for two weeks? I even handed out writing utensils. This paranoid sweat about the flesh-eaters is getting ridiculous. Memory foams don’t work when they’re soggy. They feel like you’re sleeping in quick sand. By removing the bed frame, you make it drastically harder for monsters to hide under there. If something spooky tries to hide under the bed, you don’t think you’ll notice the huge slump when the frame is gone? Good luck hiding under that, idiot.
Ryan Ocasio | Northern Star
Garlic bread baseball bats are a deadly weapon when it comes to battling off vampires. When trying to fend off the vampires, hide behind doorways with your bat. Remember to swing first and apologize later.
objects in closets when there are no doors. It’s like replacing the door with a window, but instead of a window it’s nothing.
Garlic bread baseball bat Vampires hate three things: garlic, vegetarians and baseball. This tip brings two of those hatreds to life, unless you’re a vegetarian, then you’ll hit a grand slam. Baseball terminology is so easy. The garlic bread baseball bat is a great weapon to keep handy. Prepare your best batter stance at the edge of a doorway and swing your life away at whoever turns the corner. Swing first and apologize later. Unhinge closet door When you hit a vampire, the only Serial killers must love a good person apologizing will be the parpea coat or scarf because they just ents who criticized your behavior can’t get out of those dang closets. for 22 years. Keep it in writing, dad. Just go to Macy’s next time. Stop doing double takes when walking Puppies past closets and simply remove the Miniature dogs, also known as doors. It’s going to be awfully hard puppies, are the perfect black cat defor the murderer to hide there in terrent. Puppies scare away black cats plain sight. Studies have proven it like Bartelts scare away facial hair. is 100 percent easier to see people/ These pups will have to take shifts
Photo poll To see what creatures students said they are afraid of, go to Bit.ly/1wHw3pb. because when they play with each other for 30 minutes, they’ll pass out from exhaustion. I recommend purchasing a litter, just to be safe. Dish soap Clowns are nothing more than scary, hellish-looking sadistic guardians of our children. That’s it. Dish soap can cleanse them of their makeup. You’ll probably want to put the makeup back on them because the truth is far scarier than the lie. Applying dish soap to a clown’s face reminds those who are in the presence of a clown, or victims, that the clowns are nothing more than your neighbor who used to stand outside your window with a red wig and nose. Too bad dish soap can’t clean up weird memories.