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FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

Is Gentrification Happening in Milwaukee? City moves forward with anti-displacement plan ::BY DAN SHAW

am Sims says hardly a day goes by that he doesn’t hear one of his neighbors expressing anxieties about being pushed out by new money coming into his part of Milwaukee. Living about three miles north of where all the development is taking place in Downtown Milwaukee, Sims and others in the Williamsburg Heights neighborhood—bounded by Keefe Avenue north to Capitol Drive and I-43 east to Holton Street—might seem to be at a comfortable distance from any real threat. Sims, though, said developers have not been overlooking his part of the city. The peak of interest perhaps came about two years ago, when it wasn’t uncommon for residents to find flyers in the mail asking them to sell their properties. Inspectors were also visiting the neighborhood more frequently, citing homeowners for code violations. Some of that pressure has since subsided, Sims said, yet developers, many of them from out of town, continue to open apartment buildings. The transient residents who move in do little to promote stability. That’s not to say the attention has been entirely unwelcome, said Sims, who is also president of the 5 Points Neighborhood Association. As Milwaukee’s Downtown undergoes its biggest building boom in decades, one of the most common complaints has been that outlying parts have not been able to share in the bounty.

Don’t Push Us Out

Yet, if development is to start spreading north from the city’s center, Sims and others are adamant about what they don’t want—the sort of gentrification that forced many long-time residents out of the Brewers Hill neighborhood, just north of Downtown, in the 1970s. “We all know and understand the history of Brewers Hill,” Sims said. “And that brings a bitter taste to the mouths of people in our area because we understand and we see some pushing. In fact, we see a lot of pushing.” Sims and his neighbors now have the ears of city officials. In late November, the Milwaukee Common Council passed a resolution calling on the Department of City Development (DCD) to produce an “anti-displacement” plan meant to ensure long-time residents aren’t forced out when development comes their way. The plan isn’t due until March 1 and is still in its earliest phases. Vanessa Koster, a planning manager in the DCD, said the final product will most likely build on work that has already been done along similar lines as a re-

4 | JANUARY 4, 2018

sult of a federal Transit Oriented Development grant the city received in 2016 to prepare for possible extensions of the city’s streetcar line along Martin Luther King Drive and into the Walker’s Point area. This work is to include a housing market analysis that will look at ways to preserve existing affordable housing and provide more options to low-income residents.

Affordable Housing?

Beyond that, city officials seem to know as much about what the anti-displacement plan cannot contain as what it eventually will. Koster said state law and legal precedents prevent the Common Council from adopting an ordinance requiring that affordable housing be part of any new residential project. The furthest they can go in that direction, she said, is to make affordable housing requirements a condition of receiving either public assistance or a waiver of certain zoning rules. The Common Council tried to do just that in December with an ordinance that would have called on developers who are building certain residential proj-

ects in the city’s Downtown area and receiving at least $1 million from the city to set aside 20% of their units for low-income tenants. Council members, though, postponed their vote after hearing from city officials who cautioned that strict new rules could discourage development. They instead decided to wait until the spring, when the anti-displacement plan would be out. In the coming months, city officials will no doubt have to answer a central question: Is gentrification actually happening in Milwaukee? If it’s not, then all the displacement planning will amount to little more than a wasted effort. Some have given reasons to be skeptical. In a report from two years ago, the nonprofit group Center for Community Progress looked at whether anything resembling gentrification could be said to have taken place in Milwaukee from 2000 to 2012. The study paid particular attention to what the researchers deemed three markers of gentrification: an increase in median per-capita income of 10% or more; a significant increase in median house values; and an increase of 20% or more in the white population. The study found that very few parts of the city showed more than one of these markers. Of the areas that were heavily developed during those years, some were already wealthy but relatively unpopulated, making it unlikely any sort of displacement could take place. Others saw an increase in the white population, but not in a way that seemed to displace long-time black and Latino residents. The one exception was a five-block area near where North Holton Street meets East Wright Street. Here, an increase in the number of white residents was accompanied by a decrease in black and Latino residents. Still, the report cautioned against concluding that long-time homeowners had actually been displaced. The change in population might simply have been the result of black and Latino tenants moving out and whites moving in. In its conclusion, the report asked whether excessive fears about gentrification risk drawing attention away from a far more pressing concern: the city’s declining housing stock. “Without minimizing the problems that can be created for lower income families in the path of gentrification,” it stated, “it can reasonably be argued that neighborhood decline is having a far greater impact on the city’s lower income and minority communities—including the massive loss of equity and wealth associated with the declines in property values taking place.” Of course, the Center for Community Progress’ report looked at a time period that came decades after development displaced long-time residents of Brewers Hill. Whether that previous example of gentrification was what city officials had in the back of their minds in November when they set an antidisplacement plan in motion was unclear. The two Common Council members who proposed the antidisplacement resolution, Alderwoman Milele Coggs (Sixth District) and Alderman José Pérez (12th District), couldn’t be reached for comment for this article. Whatever those officials’ reasons, at least some of their constituents don’t think new development is necessarily something to fear. Gentrification continued on page 6 >

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NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE > Gentrification continued from page 4

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Glenn Mattison, a life-long Milwaukee resident living in the part of the city represented by Coggs, said he knows of no reason why development has to come with the harmful side effects that give the term “gentriﬁcation” its bad connotation. “Some people are going to lose out,” Mattison said. “There’s no doubt about that. But you can’t have it both ways. You want to have investment. You want to have development.” Mattison said he sees big differences between Brewers Hill and the places where residents might be worried now. For one, he said, the houses in Brewers Hill tend to be bigger than those found in his own neighborhood near North Second Street and West Keefe Avenue. These large houses were a major reason why Brewers Hill proved so attractive to wealthy newcomers wanting spacious homes that would put them close to Downtown at a relatively low cost. Also, the houses in Brewers Hill, once again because of their size, ended up being subject to fairly high property taxes after being rehabilitated. In places throughout the U.S. where gentriﬁcation can truthfully be said to have occurred—in places like Brooklyn, N.Y., say— one of the biggest causes of displacement has been property taxes that have risen beyond what long-time residents can afford.

The Benefits of Redevelopment?

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Even though some residents had to leave Brewers Hill, Mattison said he can’t say the changes that occurred there were all for the bad. He said he can remember when that part of the city was essentially “Skid Row.” Many of the people he’d see out on the streets were alcoholics; drugs and prostitution were not uncommon. Mattison said he sees no reason why city officials can’t adopt policies that encourage the benefits of redevelopment while at the same time holding any resulting displacement to a minimum. One of his fears now, he said, is that his neighbors might be so opposed to gentrification that they frighten away developers. “I understand where they are coming from, but they are little too hostile in their approach,” he said. “They are turning people off. They see bogeymen behind every door.” He said one helpful step would be for there to be policies in place that make it easier for renters to buy properties. He reports that many of his neighbors are retired and living on fixed incomes. If they were forced to leave, but at least owned the homes they were living in, they’d have this advantage: They could get money for their property. The city has various programs that offer loans and grants to help residents both buy houses and make repairs to properties they own. Most of these, though, come with requirements calling on participants to put up matching money of some sort. This sort of assistance thus remains out of reach for many. Various researchers who have studied the effects of gentrification agree that it’s hard to argue that people living in neighborhoods that

have long been neglected should shut the door on newcomers simply for fear that residents will be run out. Jonathan Wynn, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, said gentrification can have desirable effects that go beyond the immediate benefits of economic development. If newcomers move into a neighborhood without displacing the original residents, members of both groups will soon find themselves out doing things together. They’ll go to the same churches, send their children to the same schools and eat at the same restaurants, Wynn said. This will help to counter one of the most dismaying trends in modern life, he said—the tendency of people to live around only others whom they perceive to be part of their group. Another advantage of gentrification, Wynn said, is that it can bring better services to previously neglected places. Streets will be repaired sooner and more thoroughly, and trash and garbage pickup will become more regular. And community policing will most likely increase, as well. That sort of change can be welcome in places with a lot of crime, but also can have drawbacks, Wynn said. Neighborhoods where mostly minorities live tend to be “hyper-policed,” he said. Preventing this from happening in gentrifying neighborhoods often requires putting law enforcement officials through special training. “Gentrification can be something that’s desirable,” Wynn said, “as long as the negative effects are minimized.” This once again leads back to the question of whether development taking place near Milwaukee’s Downtown area can really be said to be putting anyone at risk of being forced out. Various newcomers to a neighborhood just north of Brewers Hill say they have at least one strong reason to believe displacement has yet to be become a serious threat: The houses they have moved into weren’t owned by anybody, except for a bank, when they bought them. Ali and Andrew Becker said they were attracted to the house they bought at the corner of North Palmer Street and East Wright Street largely because it’s close to St. Marcus Lutheran School, where they both work. The Beckers also liked that living in the neighborhood would put them among many of the very same families that send their children to St. Marcus, “And we look at the students we serve and the effects of non-stable housing and the effects of transient populations,” Andrew Becker said. “You want neighborhoods to improve, but not at the cost of having a certain demographic move out.” When the Beckers bought their house, the last person to live there had been a squatter. Before that, a family had to leave after their bank foreclosed on their mortgage. On their way out, they stripped the house of everything they could take, even plumbing, and spraypainted the walls. Judging by the general state of the neighborhood and the amount of work that needed to be done to the house, the Beckers knew they couldn’t go into the project expecting to get their money out. Even obtaining a loan was difficult. With most recent house sales in the neighborhood running in the range of $17,000 to $30,000,

they couldn’t ﬁnd a bank willing to ﬁnance their rehabilitation. In the end, they put about $20,000 of their own money into the project. Their “white privilege” (as they put it) eventually came to the rescue when family friends agreed to put up 80 acres of land they own up north as collateral for a $130,000 loan. The chances of seeing a return on the investment have improved much sooner than anyone expected. A house down the block recently sold for $199,000. Yet, even amid these signs of a heating-up property market, the Beckers say they know of no one who has had to leave involuntarily. Helping with the overall neighborhood stability is the fact that few of the Beckers’ immediate neighbors are renters. “I think this block is pretty well established as a homeowner block,” Ali Becker said.

Buying Up the Block?

Pat Connolly, another “newcomer” to the neighborhood (he has been there for 11 years) agreed that development still has a long way to go before it will begin to put pressure on longtime residents. He said Milwaukee is a place teeming with opportunities, some of which he is looking to scoop up as a landlord. Connolly now owns three properties: the house he lives in on Palmer Street, a nearby house that he leases to tenants and another rental property in Madison. He plans to add two more within the next year. “A couple of neighbors are like, ‘Are you going to buy up the whole block?’” Connolly said. “And I say, ‘I might.’ I’m looking to move fast.” Yet, even as Connolly buys up properties, he is seeking to lay to rest any misgivings city officials might have about his motives. Connolly said he is committed to staying in the neighborhood and to being a fair landlord to his tenants, and he hopes city officials—who have had a series of well-publicized clashes in recent years with unscrupulous landlords— come to recognize that he is acting in good faith. With enough time to prove himself, he said, he should be able to show members of the Common Council and others that they have more to gain working with him than they do working against him. “I’m trying to offer low-income housing,” Connolly said, “and then I hear so much back and forth about there’s not enough people doing this. And, in my daily walkabouts, I don’t run into a lot of people like me.” Still, whatever the reality, many are convinced people like Connolly will be coming around a lot more often in the next few years, and not all of them are likely to have the best intentions. For that reason, people like Sims give the Common Council credit for getting ahead of the concerns with an anti-displacement plan. Unlike at certain times in the past, city officials now seem to be willing to at least listen to long-time residents’ concerns about gentrification, even if those concerns ultimately prove unfounded. “You’ve got to have a strong center and economic base,” Sims said. “We don’t want to fight them. We want to expand that and bring it into our neighborhood and say, ‘Let’s work with them.’” Comment at shepherdexpress.com. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

Medical College of Wisconsin Receives $3.4 Million Grant for HIV Research ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

ast September, two professors of psychiatry and behavioral medicine—Jeffrey A. Kelly and Yuri A. Amirkhanian at the Center for AIDS Intervention Research (CAIR) of the Medical College of Wisconsin— received a ﬁve-year $3.4 million research grant from the National Institute of Health. The grant funds a project intended to remedy the lack of awareness of the anti-retroviral medication regimen known as PrEP (for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) among high-risk male populations in midsize Midwestern cities. Recommended by the Center for Disease Control to reduce the spread of HIV, PrEP can lower the rate of HIV infection by nearly 90%. But, while PrEP awareness is established on the coasts, it is signiﬁcantly lower in the Midwest—especially among racial minorities. Ac-

‘Trust is Key’

CAIR’s five-year research consists of two phases. The first is listening and gathering input from African American gay and bisexual men to determine what they think about PrEP, what their concerns are and how a program needs to be delivered. “We need to spend a long time listening to learn why PrEP uptake is pretty low. Some people are not very aware of what it is. Others are aware but have concerns that it’s nothing they need because they’re not that sexually active,” Kelly says. “Others ask, why would I take a pill when I’m healthy? There’s also a legacy of medical mistrust in minority communities. Why are they trying to get me to take pills? It goes back to the Tuskegee days. We’re not trying to convince everyone but hoping to give them the ability to make informed choices.” Based on what the researchers hear, the second phase will consist of building the intervention and conducting a trial to educate the target community about PrEP. Kelly explains the process as a “social network” in which people connect with other people in the community. “It’s a friends-reaching-friends approach. If we can find people connected with others and invite them when they express interest, they’ll continue reaching out to more circles of friends. Sometimes, people don’t want to be out, but they are connected to other people and need to gain trust. Trust is key. Fortunately, thanks to previous programs, the CAIR staff is well known in the black MSM community. The process seeks to reach 500 subjects. We’ll be following everyone we enroll for 15 months to see if it changes views and attitudes towards PrEP and whether some have started the regimen. Finding out if it works is part of the research.” Success will be measured by fundamental outcomes. “Do people start on PrEP? Do they

If people understand what that meaning is, they are more likely to be involved, be honest and be willing to play a role in helping other people.” - Jeffrey A. Kelly cording to Kelly, the research will be conducted in Milwaukee and Cleveland—cities chosen because they represent a common problem found in similar sized Midwestern cities: a greater likelihood that African American “MSM” (men having sex with men) will contract HIV. “The PrEP medical regimen provides a high level of protection to those uninfected. Its use among white gay men has risen; among African Americans it lags far behind. In cities like Milwaukee, awareness of PrEP is much lower than locations on the coasts. People have not paid a lot of attention in cities in the mid section of the country,” Kelly says. The study will be conducted with the collaboration of the health departments of both cities: in Milwaukee with partners AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin and Diverse & Resilient; and in Cleveland with the AIDS Task Force of Greater Cleveland. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

choose to remain on the regimen? Sometimes, people tell you what they think you want to hear. So we’ll do veriﬁcation by blood test to objectively corroborate reports of adherence. With such measures of awareness, concerns about compliance decrease,” Kelly says. The CAIR team is optimistic about the study’s potential for success. According to Kelly, its last project with the African American community had around 85% follow up. Kelly cites another reason for their optimism: “We try to appeal to people’s altruism. People want to be able to help. When people volunteer, we emphasize it’s about developing plans for all over the world. If people understand what that meaning is, they are more likely to be involved, be honest and be willing to play a role in helping other people.” Comment at shepherdexpress.com.

NEWS&VIEWS ::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( JAN. 4 - 10, 2018 )

he Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Trump administration, as well as other activities by all those who seek to thwart social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinking-discussion get-togethers and any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.

Thursday, Jan. 4

Take Democracy Back Social Mixer @ Black Husky Brewing (909 E. Locust St.), 6-8 p.m.

This social mixer at Riverwest’s Black Husky Brewing is an effort to bring the many progressive groups in Milwaukee together in an opportunity to “network, talk about different projects that progressive groups are working on and discuss in an informal setting how we can work together.”

Sherman Park Police and Resident Listening Circles @ Pilgrim Rest Missionary Baptist Church (3456 N. 38th St.), 6-8 p.m.

The Sherman Park Community Association and Frank Zeidler Center for Public Discussion have organized a dialogue session with the goal of “building trust in our community among police and residents.” There will be a free community meal before the dialogue.

Saturday, Jan. 6

Voter and Civic Engagement Campaign @ Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin (221 S. Second St.), 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin, Latino Voting Bloc of Wisconsin and Citizen Action of Wisconsin have organized a weekly Saturday campaign of knocking on doors and phone banking to get people thinking about the 2018 elections. Volunteers can go out and talk to voters about the issues that they care about and get them involved in different events happening in the community.

Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ The corner of 27th Street and Oklahoma Avenue, noon-1 p.m.

Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war and “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterward.

West Bend Town Hall for Fair Maps @ West Bend City Hall (1115 S. Main St., West Bend), 12:45-2:30 p.m.

Former Republican State Sen. Dan Theno and Sachin Chheda of the Fair Elections Project will lead a discussion about what gerrymandering is, how our maps were rigged and what we must do together to change this.

Monday, Jan. 8

Tim Burns in Milwaukee @ The Iron Horse Hotel (500 W. Florida St.), 5:30-7 p.m. Tim Burns is a candidate for the Wisconsin Supreme Court. His campaign website says: “For too long, the Wisconsin Supreme Court has been a rubber stamp for Scott Walker’s extreme agenda.” He will be in Milwaukee along with high-profile lawyers such as Dean Strang, Jerry Buting and Jarrett Adams. This is a chance to get to know the candidate. To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to: savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that the administration of Donald Trump and others of his kind have planned for our great country. Comment at shepherdexpress.com.

JANUARY 4, 2018 | 7

NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

Wisconsin’s Collateral Damage from GOP Tax Cuts ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

o one should take pleasure from all the people being hurt by the Trump Family and Friends Republican Tax Cuts. But there’s some poetic justice in the collateral damage those tax cuts will wreak upon Donald Trump’s supporters in Wisconsin, a key state in electing a self-serving, brazenly corrupt president. Republicans really didn’t mean to punish Trump supporters like House Speaker Paul Ryan and the four other Wisconsin Republican congressmen who voted for what objective analysts call the worst tax legislation in U.S. history— adding $1.5 trillion to the national debt to give massive tax cuts to millionaires and billionaires. But that was the unintended consequence of rushing a sloppy, mean-spirited, immoral piece of legislation through Congress with hardly any public hearings before few who voted for the bill even had a chance to read it. Republicans just handed Democratic challengers to Ryan, Glenn

Grothman, Jim Sensenbrenner, Sean Duffy and Mike Gallagher a great, big, gift-wrapped donation for the 2018 elections. What Republicans had intended to do was itself irredeemably corrupt. They intended to politically distort the federal tax system to reward Republican states that voted for Trump and punish Democratic states that didn’t. They thought a clever way to accomplish that would be to eliminate the deductions federal taxpayers have taken for decades for what they already pay in state and local taxes.

‘Death’ to California and New York

National reporting on the provision correctly called it an attack on Democratic states such as New York and California that were more willing than Republican states to invest in needed community services. Stephen Moore, an economist for the right-wing Heritage Foundation supporting Republican tax cuts, was even more explicit. Moore called eliminating deductibility of local taxes “death to Democrats.” To get enough Republican support from higher tax states, the final legislation put a cap of $10,000 on the deduction instead of totally eliminating it. That’s what created the rush at the end of 2017 of taxpayers all over the country frantically trying to pay their 2018 property taxes in advance to beat the cap. Trump’s Internal Revenue Service callously told them, “Fuhgeddabout it!”

But that mad frenzy among owners of large properties everywhere demonstrated how Republicans accidentally savaged some of their own strongest supporters with a nasty little tax provision they were chortling about socking to Democrats. Combine the property tax provision with allowing interest to be deducted on mortgages only up to $750,000 (instead of $1 million as it was before), and wealthy folks in high-end real estate suddenly were prevented from reducing their taxable income by tens of thousands of dollars every year. Here’s looking at you, Waukesha! Eliminating tens of thousands of dollars in property tax and mortgage interest deductions for suburban and exurban property owners will wipe out the meager, temporary tax cuts all but the super wealthy receive from the Republican tax law—unless you are lucky enough to qualify for the extra-low tax rate added to the law by Wisconsin Sen. Ron Johnson that is available only to owners of special “pass through” businesses— such as those owned by…Trump and Johnson. Gov. Scott Walker’s Wisconsin still qualifies as a high-tax state despite everything he’s done since 2010 to join the race to the bottom in taxation that, for decades, has left Southern states like Mississippi and Alabama trailing the nation in education, public health and survival benefits. Walker’s failed to completely dismantle public institutions and services created by more progressive past leaders—both Democrat and Republican. We’re not a backwoods, dirt-road state yet.

Punishing Wisconsin

By voting for a tax law punishing Wisconsin, the state’s five Republican congressmen now join newly endangered Republican congressmen from other higher tax states—including three from Minnesota, three from Iowa, nine from New York (five of whom voted against the Republican tax cuts), five from New Jersey (four voting against) and a whopping 14 from California (only three voting against). Since Democrats need to flip only 24 seats to control the House, gains in those five states alone could do it. Since Ryan was one of the few who actually knew the details of the tax law before it passed, that could explain the report that Ryan might not run for reelection. So, how ethical was it for Ryan to pressure fellow Republicans to vote for an unpopular tax bill when he was considering avoiding the political consequences himself? No one will be surprised if even more horrors are uncovered in the monstrous, thrown-together Republican tax law before the 2018 elections. But Democrats already know enough about the disastrous consequences for upper-middle class property owners in the suburbs and beyond to speed up the already rapidly growing Democratic vote in many of those areas. That has the power to change political control at both the state and national levels. Gerrymandered voting districts may not be enough to save Republicans in a midterm wave if energized Democrats attract more votes than Republicans statewide. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Think Dems Will Reclaim at Least One Chamber of Congress

Last week we asked if 2018 will be a tidal wave for Democrats that results in them reclaiming control of the House and/or the Senate. You said: n No: 35% n Yes, they’ll reclaim one chamber: 34% n Yes, they’ll reclaim both chambers: 31%

What Do You Say?

Where is the Robert Mueller investigation headed? n It will fizzle out, resulting in only minor indictments of Trump associates. n It will get serious and Trump will fire Mueller, spurring a constitutional crisis. n Mueller will finish the investigation and it will result in serious charges against major players. Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

8 | JANUARY 4, 2018

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK

2017: A Very Interesting Year ::BY LOUIS G. FORTIS

t has been a tough year for patriotic Americans as we watched our president try to desecrate the values and principles that actually do make America great. If you have spent time in developing countries, you understand that America is truly viewed as the beacon of freedom for peoples throughout the world. Donald Trump now has these other nations—as well as our close allies— questioning what kind of country we really are and how we could have elected someone like him. According to a recent poll, 74% of the world does not trust Mr. Trump. We have watched Trump’s EPA deny science and actively enable polluters to have more sway in destroying our environment. He walked away from the Paris Climate Accord, literally turning our back to the whole world. He has invited racists and white nationalists to be his advisors in the White House. He found no difference between violent white nationalists in Charlottesville, Va., chanting hate and the nonviolent protesters who were appalled by such behavior. He even appointed a white nationalist as the U.S. Attorney General. The list could go on and on. He campaigned as some kind of a racist populist, attacking Wall Street and the big pharmaceutical companies along with Mexicans and Muslims. He might have governed more toward the middle of the road and actually worked to bring the country together on some issues and engineer some compromise in Congress. Instead, he put together a right-to-far-right cabinet whose members included many of those Wall Street folks he railed against.

The Real Damage

The biggest damage he has done is to undermine our institutions. Governments only survive in the long term if the governed essentially believe in their governmental institutions. Totalitarian states are transitional with some lasting longer than others, but eventually they all collapse. Trump has undermined the electoral process, discredited the FBI and the intelligence agencies, attacked our courts (including judges because of their ethnic origins), attacked our free press—the envy of the world—as “fake news” and has lied and lied and lied to the public.

There is a Bright Side to All of This

As grim as all this sounds, there is another side, a much brighter side. We are not a beatendown people. We have enjoyed a tremendous freedom and control over our lives for the past 235 years and, unfortunately, too many Americans have taken it all for granted. Just look at the number of Americans who do not vote. It is a national embarrassment, but we are seeing that change when you look at the high turnout in the special U.S. Senate election that was held in Alabama last month. We are also pushing back beyond the ballot box starting with the Woman’s March this past January, and each day, more and more people are SHEPHERD EXPRESS

getting involved in ways that they never thought they would—or would have to. It is important to remember that history moves forward toward freedom and justice, but it is not linear. We have to work at it, and we can’t drop our guard. There are always setbacks and avenues blocked, but then we push forward in a different manner. People are getting more involved and understand that the future of our country is at stake. After 45 presidents, this is the only one who has consciously undermined the values that we as a nation developed over the past 235 years. Trump expressed his admiration for such current authoritarians as Russia’s Vladimir Putin, Turkey’s Recip Tayyip Erdoğan, Egypt’s Abdel Fattah el-Sisi and the Philippines’ Rodrigo Duterte, to name just a few. Many of the Republicans I know fear that that is the direction Trump himself would like to go. Remember, many authoritarians, including Adolf Hitler, initially achieved power through constitutional means.

A Prime and Powerful Example

Do you really believe the Me Too Movement would be happening if Donald Trump were not president? When credible women are ignored, and a man who brags on tape that he grabs women inappropriately ends up elected president, women realized it is the time to take the risk and fight back. This push back from women is greatly applauded and long overdue. Our institutions are also fighting back. We have a special prosecutor—lifelong Republican Robert Mueller—who has a stellar reputation and is doing what appears to be a professional and thorough investigation. We also have both the House and the Senate investigating the Russian connection to the U.S. election. The Senate appears to be doing an honest and reasonably bipartisan investigation, but the House committee is too partisan, often acting like an agent for the president. Wisconsin Congressman and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan of Janesville refuses to step up and correct matters in the House. Unfortunately, Ryan has gone from being appropriately skeptical of Trump to being his puppy dog. Despite the weaknesses in the House investigation, they are still digging into the actions of the past couple of years by questioning witnesses and collecting information. How many governments outside of Western Europe could credibly investigate their president for various forms of corruption?

America Will Survive if We Stay Vigilant

America will get through these next three years with institutions that will grow stronger if they fight for their institutional integrity, and our electorate will continue to get more involved as they realize how America is being attacked from within. This can only make America greater. It will take years to repair the damage that the Trump administration has done, but again, history moves forward toward freedom and justice. We need to stay active, stay engaged, organize and fight back to save and enhance our 235-year history of building a great democratic country. Louis G. Fortis is editor and publisher of the Shepherd Express and a former Wisconsin State Legislator. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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::DINING

For more Dining, log onto shepherdexpress.com

SHEPHERD STAFF

FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

Chicken and Waffles from Sweet Diner

Nice Surprises for Breakfast and Lunch at Sweet Diner

The service was outstanding at each visit and the menu has many options including gluten free and vegetarian. There are four omelets to choose from including the Wisconsin with sausage and cheese curds ($11). You can also build your own. The omelets were fluffy and cooked well and didn’t skimp on the fillings. Sweet serves classic eggs benedict as well as some fun variations like the Southern, a variation on biscuits and gravy. The homemade chive biscuit was tender and flaky and served not only with juicy sausage patties, but sausage gravy. The Mediterranean had a wonderful flavor profile with olive tapenade, Gruyere, spinach and tomato. Each of the benedicts ($10) came with perfectly cooked poached eggs, although I found the hollandaise was a little thick and heavy on some of the dishes. ::BY ALISA MALAVENDA My favorite items are the skillet bowls ($10-$12). There are five to choose from, everything from a vegetarian “Veg Head” to a Chilaquiles filled with chorizo, chedf an old-fashioned diner with round swivel stools, soda fountain dar cheese, corn relish pico de gallo and tortilla strips. All the bowls are generous in and jukebox at each table is the image you conjure up when you their portions and perfect for a savory breakfast or lunch. think of a diner you are in for a real surprise at the Third Ward’s Moving on to the sweet side of things is a wonderful array of pancakes, French new Sweet Diner. The eatery is housed in a gorgeous soft industrial toast and waffles. Among the signatures are the caramel apple waffles and panspace whose exposed Cream City brick has a black weathered look. cakes with warm apple and cinnamon slices and caramel sauce. However, the The gray, cream and white interior tones set the stage for a new concept menu item I continue to go back for is the corn bread waffles. You can get them for upscale modern diners. plain with butter and maple syrup, but for a $4 up charge you get a towering pile of There is a coffee and juice bar, long white quartz counter with gray Memphis-style fried chicken and hot sauce ($11). swirls that seem to dance under the menu that doubles as your placemat. Sweet Diner offers classic egg dishes, avocado toast, breakfast tacos and much The counter is where you can watch the action in the semi-open kitchen. more for breakfast. The selection is just as good on the lunch menu. The five salYou can also choose the cozy leather banquettes or ads are chock full of fresh ingredients. The Protein Pack ($9) table seating with comfortable chairs, all under the includes lentils, brown rice, green onions, ham, egg, nuts and centerpiece chandelier glowing with warm, soft seeds. The combination holds up well to the refreshing creamy Sweet Diner lights. It’s a space where you can imagine fancy lemon dressing. The long list of sandwiches includes everything private functions and wine tastings, but is also 239 E. Chicago St. from a “Veg Head” pita full of vegetables with hummus, greens comfortable when sitting down for breakfast or 414-488-9600 | $$ and cheese ($10) to the juicy half-pound breakfast burger with lunch served up all day. ham and caramelized onions and topped with an egg on a sweetdiner.com The juice bar has fresh-squeezed juice and cheddar bun ($11). Handicapped access: some healthy juice blends like the Mean Green made with variIf that isn’t enough there are plenty of other menu items like Yes (east entrance) ous greens, apple and cucumber. There are many offerings ($2a platter of ham off the bone, yogurt parfait and homemade $6) from the coffee bar including hot chocolate, nitro cold brew CC, GF, RS soup of the day. You will want to return to the diner again and and nitro sweet cream. Sweet Diner also has a lovely selection of Hours: 6 a.m.-4 p.m. daily again to enjoy life’s sweet moments. breakfast cocktails, wine and local brews.

10 | J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 7

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Vegan Page

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::ASKTHEEXPERTS I COULD NEVER BE VEGAN, I LOVE THE TASTE OF MEAT TOO MUCH. DON’T YOU MISS BACON?! -CURIOUS Dear Curious, Turns out, vegans don’t actually have to miss out on any food at all! It’s as simple as switching up the ingredients. That’s right: you can make bacon-, chicken-, egg-, cheeseand ice cream-like foods out of plant-based ingredients. Habit is comforting and change can be intimidating, but with the countless meat and dairy substitutes on the market and the abundance of vegan recipes out there, the transition to vegan eating is nothing but exciting and delicious! You’ be surprised with how versatile vegan cooking can be. For example, nuts, like almonds and cashews, work well to make milk and cheese. Veganizing an egg is a simple swap of tofu or chickpea flour for a scramble or an omelet. Butter can be replaced with a vegan butter such as Earth Balance or even refined coconut oil. Mushrooms are great to make meaty vegan foods like burgers and bacon. Roasted cauliflower replicates chicken and even tastes better than the real thing. You can bread it and smother it in buffalo sauce (vegan, of course), barbecue sauce or, my all time favorite, cover it with an orange glaze to make your very own vegan version of Chinese orange chicken. Don’t be intimidated. Making vegan food taste like non-vegan food isn’t nearly as complicated as it sounds. To give you a better idea of the simplicity behind making good vegan food, here’s a stellar Orange-Glazed Cauliflower recipe of mine. Enjoy!

BREADED CAULIFLOWER INGREDIENTS: 1 head of cauliflower, stem and core removed and broken into florets, 1/2 cup all-purpose, gluten-free flour, 1 tsp black pepper, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes, 1/2 tsp garlic powder, 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk, 1 cup gluten-free breadcrumbs ORANGE GLAZE INGREDIENTS: 1 cup fresh orange juice, 1/2 cup liquid aminos or soy sauce, preferably low-sodium, 2 tbsp rice wine vinegar, 2 tbsp sesame oil, 2 tbsp coconut sugar, 2 tsp fresh ginger, finely grated, 1 tsp red pepper flakes, 4 garlic cloves, finely minced, 4 tsp cornstarch

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OPTIONAL GARNISHES INGREDIENTS: Sesame seeds and Green onion (scallions), sliced INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper or lightly greased foil. 2. Remove florets from the cauliflower. If needed, chop the cauliflower into smaller pieces to resemble the size of wings. 3. In a bowl, whisk all the batter ingredients together EXCEPT the bread crumbs. Place the breadcrumbs in a separate bowl and line it up beside the batter bowl. 4. Toss the cauliflower in the mixture one at a time, shaking off excess batter. Do not soak. Then, dip the cauliflower into the breadcrumbs to coat completely. Then, place onto the baking sheet. Repeat until all of the wings are coated. 5. Bake for 22 minutes. 6. While baking, put the orange juice, liquid aminos or soy sauce, vinegar, sesame oil, coconut sugar, crushed red pepper, garlic, ginger and cornstarch in a small nonstick skillet and whisk. Heat until it bubbles and starts to thicken, about 5 minutes. 7. After 22 minutes, remove the cauliflower from the oven and, with a basting brush, coat the cauliflower with the sauce. Bake for another 5 minutes. 8. Serve over rice and top with optional sesame seeds and green onion.

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show at the museum, and he brought two additional artists for a collaborative exhibition. Pederson takes the unusual step of representing sports in his painting, and in the current body of work continues that theme with a sense of mild critique. Star Wars Night is a large canvas depicting a baseball game at Ford Field. Costumed characters from the 1977 movie are throwing out the first pitch while in the foreground of this multi-paneled piece, we see the view of seated legs, cell phones and peanuts on the ground. It is, like many of Pederson’s paintings, a little humorous and tinged with the admission that screens, whether on phones or the jumbotron, are ubiquitous and unavoidable. Pederson is joined by painter Jackson Hunt, whose work has an even more pointed commentary on mass media and its influences. As a Native American, Hunt represents images he grew up with, particularly in terms of illustrations and cartoons that form unflattering caricatures of his heritage. Hunt also uses a photo transfer process to incorporate vintage photographs and family images in his work, making the juxtaposition between family and media fantasy all the more apparent. Throughout the museum, you will also find a collaboration between Pederson and sculptor Mariah Tate Klemens. Generally small objects of a decorative nature are interspersed within the collection of Sarah and Charles Allis, making for something of a treasure hunt. The contemporary pieces play hide-and-seek in a way that highlights their irony and craft. Through April 15 at Charles Allis Art Museum, 1801 N. Prospect Ave.

“Clear and Present” H.F. Johnson Gallery of Art, Carthage College 2001 Alford Park Drive, Kenosha “Clear and Present,” at Carthage College’s H.F. Johnson Gallery of Art from Jan. 8 through March 2, features works by Kristin Bauer and Paul Owen Weiner. The exhibition finds the artists investigating language. Text is central to Bauer’s work, which playfully alters the meaning of language by placing it in a sculptural context. Growing up close to the sites of the Columbine Massacre and the Century Aurora shooting has left a decisive mark on Weiner’s art. Weiner uses legislative documents and the concept of redaction to reflect on the state of expression during troubled times. An opening reception for “Clear and Present” takes place from 4:30-7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Jan. 11. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::BOOKS BOOK |REVIEWS

Meetings with Remarkable Manuscripts: Twelve Journeys into the Medieval World (PENGUIN PRESS), BY CHRISTOPHER DE HAMEL

Before the printing press, books were neatly copied out by hand—long books like the Bible by multiple hands. No two were identical. British scholarlibrarian Christopher de Hamel has spent time with many of those handcrafted books—years of his life, but hasn’t lost his dry English sense of humor. In Meetings with Remarkable Manuscripts, he describes his studies of a dozen handwritten books (the Book of Kells is the best known) and remarks, yes, you can see pictures of them online, but it’s not the same as seeing them. The scale is lost as is the physicality, the often translucence of the parchment. Hamel can even guess whether a manuscript originated in England or Italy by smell. The penmanship and illustrations tell their own stories. Meetings with Remarkable Manuscripts is a bibliophiles’ delight. (David Luhrssen)

Istanbul: A Tale of Three Cities

(DA CAPO PRESS), BY BETTANY HUGHES

Because of its location, Istanbul—or Constantinople or Byzantium, as the city was known in earlier epochs—has been the lynchpin of Asia and Europe for thousands of years. In her beautifully written account, British historian Bettany Hughes capably juggles telling anecdotes and historic milestones from across the centuries. The city was the capital of the Byzantine and Ottoman empires; as the seat of Eastern Orthodox Christianity it was besieged 13 times by Islamic armies and looted by Roman Catholic Crusaders. “Istanbul can never be listless,” Hughes concludes, surveying the contemporary city’s vivacious urban sprawl where remnants of many civilizations fill the shadows of modernity. In the struggle between great monotheisms that played out across much of the city’s timeline, Hughes finds many examples ignored in most histories of philosophical common ground, social intercourse and economic cooperation. (David Luhrssen)

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

BOOK |PREVIEW

Michele Wucker Wonders: Can We Duck the ‘Gray Rhino’? ::BY JENNI HERRICK

n our fast-paced modern world filled with global threats and opportunities, it is crucial that leaders and key decisionmakers understand the differences between a black swan, a white elephant and a gray rhino. Can the zoologist-economist in you decipher the subtle particularities? According to best-selling author Michele Wucker, who coined the term “gray rhino” in her 2016 book of the same name, the term refers to a highly probable, highly predicted, yet oft neglected threat, on scale with recent events including the global recession, a growing influx of natural disasters and rapidly rising income inequality. As Wucker writes, when facing a charging rhinoceros, the best (and most difficult) thing to do may be nothing at all; yet despite the warning signs, these obvious dangers are often ignored. Gray rhinos differ from others in the animal kingdom, distinctive from the obvious but seldomdiscussed white elephant and the improbable and unforeseeable black swan. In her easy-to-digest scholarly guide, The Gray Rhino: How to Recognize and Act on the Obvious Dangers We Ignore, the Guggenheim Fellow and former Milwaukeean explains how we often avoid some of the most obvious threats, from global crises including climate change and water shortages, to predictable surprises in our own lives. Wucker is also the author of Lockout: Why America Keeps Getting Immigration Wrong When Our Prosperity Depends on Getting It Right. She will speak at University School of Milwaukee’s Speaker Series at 6:30 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 5. This event is free, but registration is requested; visit usmk12.org/ page/wucker.

Michele Wucker

J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 8 | 21

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::RUTHIE’S

SOCALCALENDAR

New Year, New (Screw) You!

hey’re over! They holidays are over! Halleluiah! No more shopping, no more gift wrapping and no more digital holiday cards. I swear to the Baby Jesus, if I would have gotten one more message offering a virtual snowball fight or Christmas greeting, I’d have lost it. Truly. Between the holiday messages involving sexy Santas, teddy bears, naughty Santa cartoons, dancing evergreens, singing elves, snowmen offering hugs (what the…?), pole-dancing Santas (boy, that Santa!) and a firestorm of other digital excuses for Christmas cards, I’m wondering if it’s finally safe to open my messenger again. We get it, folks! You’re too friggin’ cheap to send an actual Christmas card! Message received. (But truly, thanks for the holiday greetings.) I’ve got a belly full of eggnog, holiday ham and Snickerdoodles, so I’m not going to bore you with any of that “New Year, New You” crappola. You’ve likely heard that nauseating take on the New Year before, and you certainly don’t need to hear it from me, but clearly a lot of you are concerned with my health and well-being. (Thank you!) That said, check out these emails I’ve been holding onto as they all focus on getting fit…or not. Happy 2018, everyone!

Dear Ruthie,

What’s your workout routine like?

Working every day to build a pro-fairness business community in Wisconsin

Thanks, Exercise Guy

Dear Guy,

Putting on pantyhose is pretty much the hardest, longest workout I can muster.

Dear Ruthie,

When’s the last time you hit a gym?

Join more than 470 businesses and organizations as a member today Memberships start at $100 per year Learn more at www.WisLGBTChamber.com 22 | J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 8

For more, log onto shepherdexpress.com

—Former Gym Bunny

Dear Bunny,

I hit a gym last week. With my car. On my way to get tacos, booze and cigarettes.

Dear Ruthie,

What are your health goals for the coming year?

—Enquiring Minds

Dear National Enquirer,

Jan. 5: Debut of ‘Tom of Finland’ at Gene Siskel Film Center of the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (164 N. State St., Chicago): Dome Karukoski’s film about the iconic homoerotic artist, Tom of Finland, blows into the Windy City with a 14-day run. Don’t miss this exciting bio-pic of love, courage, pride and perseverance set against the sexual revolution of the 1970s. Visit siskelfilmcenter.org for tickets and show times. Jan. 5: A Big Fat Vegan Fundraiser Drag Show at Red Dot (6715 W. North Ave.): My gal-pal Honey LaBronx, the vegan drag queen, sashays into Cream City with this 9 p.m. drag show, benefitting Rescue Gang and Urban Cat Coalition. There’s a suggested $20 door charge for the 18+ event. Doors open at 8:30 p.m. Jan. 6: Leather & Lace White Party at Plan B (924 Williamson St., Madison): The kids at Plan B are telling Jack Frost to “F” off by heating up the weekend with their annual white party! Take in the sights and sounds of the Leather & Lace bash (the first Saturday of every month) combined with white dance attire for a night of indulgence, extravagance and fun. The 21+ party starts at 8:30 p.m., and it runs to bar close. Jan. 7: Jolly Holly Folly at Marcus Center for the Performing Arts (929 N. Water St.): Looking for a recipe for happiness? Find it when the team at the AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin (ARCW) host this 22nd annual event combining theater, free food, cocktails and more. Enjoy tastings from the city’s hottest restaurants at 4 p.m., followed by a 6 p.m. production of Waitress. Based on the hit film and featuring music by Sara Bareilles, the delightful musical promises to sweeten your week. Visit arcw.org for more, including directions on how to reserve your $120 ticket. Jan. 9: LGBT Chamber of Commerce Milwaukee Coffee Connection at High Def Health (326 N. Water St.): The Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce brings the coffee, you bring the conversation during this monthly networking event for likeminded business owners. Enjoy the free event from 8-9 a.m. Jan. 9: Pole Dancing for Voluptuous Women at Pole Tific Fitness (5330 W. Burnham St.): Sexy has no size, ladies, so get your naughty on. Strengthen muscles, improve balance and drop a few pounds with these pole-dancing classes. Find your inner diva and let her loose with this 7 p.m. class. Preregister for the $20 classes (that run through Jan. 30), at poletificfitness.mypaysimple.com/s/curvy-poling-class-one-session/ checkout. Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to follow her Facebook (Ruthie Keester) and Twitter (@DearRuthie).

My goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breath at the same time.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MYLGBTQPoint of View

A New Year’s Resolution for 2018 ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

ome decades ago, Punch magazine printed a column of smart New Year’s resolutions. One went, “I will not be kind to people simply because they are lesbian, disabled or old: If they’re disagreeable, to Hell with them.” It seemed amusing at the time, reflecting, as it did, that certain exasperation with those politically correct demands of the 1980s. Today, though, in these times of “divide and conquer” as a political strategy, the humor has lost its punch. Today, keeping that resolution would be easy enough; in our LGBTQ community it’s sometimes hard to find anyone who’s not disagreeable. Among some, it’s a constant more-marginalized-than-thou, my-identityis-more-valid-than-thine reality show of vying one-upmanship by oppressed impudent snobs. Gays dis lesbians; lesbians dismiss gays and transwomen. The trans hierarchy is rife with mutual bashing and the bisexuals, usurped by those guys and gals who call themselves “bi” rather than admit they’re gay, feel disrespected. And, of course, if you’re cis, you can’t be queer. And, should you try to bridge the gap, you’ll be met with a dismissive eye roll. But don’t get me wrong. I really have no problem with tribalism—birds of a feather sticking together, and all. I’d feel self-con-

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scious at a lesbian Packer Party and awkward among asexuals, or, for that matter, ambisexuals. To be honest, my feelings were only a little hurt when I, as a cis-male, wasn’t allowed to join the Queerwaukee Rebels Facebook group (it’s almost exclusively woman). Still, when a homophobic Evangelical pastor went on a rabid, not so Christian rant about the silliness of the ever-expanding LGBTQAIwxyz coalition, I felt enraged. Speaking of LGBTQ, just when the rest of the world figured out what it means, some eschew those tried-and-true signifiers of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender in deference to alternative monikers like “men having sex with men” (naturally abbreviated to “MSM”), “same gender loving,” “woman loving woman,” “Lunarian” and other such contrivances, or none at all (call me old-fashioned but demanding to be recognized as “not” something sounds anything but progressive). In fact, it all suggests regression to the old days of selfloathing in the guise of insisting that labels of sexual identity don’t matter. Rather than shedding the shackles of imposed identity, it almost seems like a return to the closet. In fact, studies show only 50% of college age LGBTQs are actually out. Although understandable in these times of empowered bigotry, it’s not helping our community. It confuses our allies as well. Visibility has always been credited for our successful advance towards equality. The old battle cry “We’re here! We’re queer! Get used to it!” worked. People got used to it. Nowadays some of us seem to be the ones who still aren’t used to it. Ironically, the retreat to the redoubt of exclusionary hyper-identity, or none at all, is happening while daytime soap “Days of Our Lives” runs a storyline about the gay guy who wants his husband back. Anyway, my 2018 resolution goes, “I’ll strive to put the ‘unity’ back in ‘Community’ and to be kind to all…but, if they’re Republicans, to Hell with them!”

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::MUSIC

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

‘Booze-filled Extravaganzas on the High Wire’

Honky Tonkitis

Honky Tonkitis Welcome the Hecklers ::BY JAMIE LEE RAKE f subject matter were to count as much as curse words do to whomever decides what albums receive parental warning stickers, records by the Milwaukee country band Honky Tonkitis might be a shoe-in for its imprimatur of mature content. Says band leader John Steffes of the music that inspired his act—who have been reemerging on the city’s club circuit after a bit of a hiatus—“Honkytonk records of the 1950s and 1960s were adult records, basically 45s, that were supposed to be confined to the jukeboxes of bars. They weren’t supposed to be shared with children, and they weren’t going to get much radio airplay. They were songs about drinking and cheating and divorce and heartbreak. Not very happy subject matter, but the music was usually upbeat with lyrics that were brilliant and sarcastic and depressing and painfully honest.” It was Steffes’ own experience as a youngster with songs about subject matter beyond his years that got him started on his path to appreciating such lyrics. “I’d grown up hearing country radio my Dad listened to,” Steffes recalls, “but it was the mainstream type. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I rediscovered these old honky-tonk tunes that used to just sneak in a little bit on mainstream country radio. The Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn stuff led me further off the path to the Buck Owens and Carl Smith and Don Gibson tunes to the honky-tonk sounds of Charlie Walker and Bob Gallion and Eddie Noack.” After a long musical history encompassing the hardcore punk of Necromantix, FS Camels’ poppier

24 | J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 8

rock and Take My Face’s progressive rock leanings, Steffes began the band as an outlet for some originals he’d been writing. Aficionados of the kind of hardcore country the quintet specializes in may know the forlorn Carl Butler ode from which Steffes derived the combo’s name. The band’s high concept has confounded some, however. “With a name like Honky Tonkitis, I felt like people would have a good feel for what we were,” Steffes shares. “It’s honky-tonk, it’s in the damn name, for God’s sake. No confusion in labeling. Until I realized that many of them would misread our name as ‘Honky Tonk It Is’ or ‘Honky Tonka Truck’ or ‘Honky Tonk Tits’ or whatever. Kinda Freudian. You see what you want to see.”

What an audience at a Honky Tonkitis show sees is often seen through the goggles provided by beer and more potent beverages. That includes the band’s vision, too. “Most Honky Tonkitis shows are booze-filled extravaganzas on the high wire without a net,” Steffes says. “We’re like a bunch of drunken Wallendas tripping towards our next drink.” Considering Steffes’ previous experience, it’s unsurprising that he would draw an inebriated punk rock parallel, too. “On a good day,” he says, “I’d want to be compared to the live show of The Replacements. On a bad day, Replacements fans would kick our ass. There is a lot of give-and-take with the crowd, especially if they’re giving us drinks. We welcome hecklers, we drink with everyone, and we’ve been knocked off the stage by drunken dancers.” Audio of one of those last-named incidents can be heard on Honky Tonkitis’ website as well. Reckless as that description of any given Honky Tonkitis show may appear, Steffes is actually a responsible adult, and some of those responsibilities are what led to the band’s break a while back. “We took time off for me to go back to school to get my Montessori education certification,” he explains. “That was followed by a year’s worth of teaching and then my pursuing my master’s in Montessori education. In between, there’s the whole work and marriage and family life thing to navigate. Over that time, we were playing gigs here or there but nothing very intense.” Their schedule is intensifying, though, as Steffes, drummer Kurt Weber, fiddle player Larry Gerd, lap steel player Bill McRobets and guitarist Bruce Dean refocus. The fourth Honky Tonkitis album is “about 75%,” Steffes relates, which should be good news for listeners who have enjoyed prior offerings such as You Drink and Drive Me Crazy and Deep End of the Bottle. For all the rowdy fun that their shows can be, Steffes prefers the studio. “As much as we enjoy playing live, it’s more fun to record and release original music, whatever the format. I like to think that, just like me, some guy out there 40 years from now will hear one of our songs through his anal psychic projecHonky tion brainwave and be intrigued Tonkitis enough to hunt down our old albums and pull us all out of Kochanski’s cryostasis to play a few songs at Concertina his mom’s birthday party.” Beer Hall Honky Tonkitis’ founder credits Friday, Milwaukee for letting his band Jan. 12, flourish. “Milwaukee is blessed 9 p.m. with great bars, great musicians, great fans and great beer,” he says. “Milwaukee audiences just want to hear music and enjoy themselves while they drink. Milwaukeeans appreciate unique music and are happy to keep coming back.” But Steffes doesn’t want his troupe to be considered so unique as to be labeled alt country, Americana or anything else but “straight-up honky-tonk,” he says. “Any other labeling is just confusing—mostly to me.” Honky Tonkitis play Friday, Jan. 12 at Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall (1920 S. 37th St.) at 9 p.m.

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MUSIC::CONCERTREVIEW

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GGOOLLDD BY BRIANNA GRIEPENTROG

GGOOLLDD Welcomed the New Year with an Upbeat Celebration ::BY THOMAS MICHALSKI

t’s always fascinating to observe the shared delusion that is New Year’s Eve, when otherwise rational adults anticipate some amazing or transformative experience based on nothing more than a fairly arbitrary date, when in reality, aside from the plastic hats and socially sanctioned public intoxication, it’s actually just another night on the concert calendar, albeit a busy one. From the outset, then, there was no way local-band-made-good GGOOLLDD’s much-hyped New Year’s Eve homecoming concert could live up to the absurd expectations the holiday inspires, but there are certainly worse ways to symbolically ring in the new year than with the band’s signature brand of dramatic poptimism. When the crowd finally made their way out of the cold and through the unusually convoluted entry process—separating those with “VIP” packages from the general riff raff—

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they were greeted by a VJ set from 88.9 FM’s Jordan “Madhatter” Lee, which might imply some sort of trippy effects or visual remixing but was more like a YouTube playlist of classic music videos (the first hour or so felt uncannily like watching ’90s VH1). Around 10:30, though, GGOOLLD launched into the first of three sets with the earworm “Bling Ring,” later bringing on Lex Allen for a fun take on Prince’s apocalyptic party-starter, “1999.” Soon, it was back to the music videos (a little more like ’90s MTV this time around), but the band wasn’t gone long, reappearing near midnight accompanied by a troupe of dancers and a string section, lending some extra bombast to “Killing Times” and, as the clock struck 12:00, a version of Queen’s arena-rock staple, “We are the Champions.” Despite its built-in sing-along appeal, it felt like an odd choice given the year America has collectively just suffered through. By the third set, with the holiday’s inevitable anti-climax out of the way, some people had begun to drift out (some drunkenly escorted out), and it began to feel like things were winding down musically as well. As enjoyable as it is, GGOOLLDD’s sweepingly cinematic, mid-tempo pop has a consistency of tone which wears thin after a time, although the band did round things out nicely with a spirited go at T. Rex’s “Children of the Revolution.” Overall, it seemed as if the band was conspicuously avoiding the unpleasantness of 2017, but GGOOLLDD’s rose-tinted sound suited the intrinsic positivity of the occasion perfectly; even if, like New Year’s itself, its intoxicating effects wear off rather quickly.

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MUSIC::LISTINGS THURSDAY, JANUARY 4

The Packing House Restaurant, Chanel LeMeaux & The Dapper Cads w/Jeff Stoll (6:30pm) Up & Under Pub, Friday Times Band

Amelia’s, Jackson Dordel Jazz Quintet (4pm) American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Bobby Way Solo Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Acoustic Guitar Night County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Light Lounge South (South Milwaukee), Craig Omick & Friends Open Jam w/Jeff Arnold, Ron Gilbert & Dianna Jones Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Miramar Theatre, The 1997 + present show (all-ages, 7:30pm) O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) Pabst Theater, Tiffany Haddish: #SheReady Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: The Acoustix Shaker’s Cigar Bar, Prof. Pinkerton & the Magnificents The Packing House Restaurant, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Martini Jazz Lounge Up & Under Pub, A No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic

SATURDAY, JANUARY 6

FRIDAY, JANUARY 5 Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Julie’s Piano Karaoke Cactus Club, JJ Fall Train w/The Civil Engineers & Groove Grease ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee! County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Dom & Phil De Marinis Pizza, Tom Sorce Frank’s Power Plant, Dumpster Doves w/Adorable Vandals, PAX, Jon E. Bong & Mandy Cappleman Harry’s Bar & Grill, Kyle Feerick (6pm) Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Dustin Laurenzi Quartet (8pm), Late Night Session: Jordan Rattner (11:30pm) Lakefront Brewery Beer Hall, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Eponymous w/The First Rule & Porcelain Pabst Theater, Steely Dane w/Sam Lyons: The Ultimate Steely Dan Tribute Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Saddlebrook Acoustic w/Trevor & Joey (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Platinum (9:30pm) Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Bella Cain Shank Hall, Pat McCurdy Sloppy Joe’s (Hubertus), Matt MF Tyner & Rolf Wessel The Bay Restaurant, Rick Aaron & The Men in Black Trio

American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), The Blues Disciples Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Cactus Club, The Rich Hands w/Dusk, Phylums, Bad Wig & guest DJ’s Platinum Boys Clifford’s Supper Club, Elvis Birthday Blast w/Jessee Aron, Chad Gates, Elvis John & Perry Groves Club Garibaldi, The Sketchballs w/Ratbatspider & Allantide ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee! Company Brewing, Faux Fiction EP release w/Rocket Paloma, For the Culture & Kaitlin McCarthy Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), Katie Mack and The Moan Fox & Hounds Restaurant, Rev. Raven & The Chain Smokin’ Altar Boys Frank’s Power Plant, Six Wives of Richard w/The Chafes & Murton Dur Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys Jazz Estate, We Six (8pm), Late Night Session: Sweet Sheiks (11:30pm) Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Show Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Miramar Theatre, Kathy’s House Charity Benefit: The Fog (all-ages, 7:30pm) Moose Lodge 49, Tomm Lehnigk Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: 89 Mojo (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Miles Nielsen & The Rusted Hearts (9:30pm) Racine Theatre Guild, Jean’s Jazz Series: Amy & The Rum Boogie Band w/Christopher’s Project Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), David E. Kirby & His Memphis Cadillacs w/The Spiders From Milwaukee Shank Hall, Damaged Justice (Metallica tribute) w/Avenge 7X (Avenged Sevenfold tribute) Silver Spring House, Rick Holmes Saturdays The Coffee House, Food Pantry Benefit: Brian Drow, Rick Fitzgerald, John Stano, and the Sandy Stehling, Ruth Williams, John Granzow, Scott Emmons Quartet The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Riverwest Radio’s Fourth Annual Music Marathon Fundraiser The Packing House Restaurant, Lem Banks, Jeff Stoll, Alvin Turner & Omar (6:30pm)

1/4 Faux Fiction 1/11 Daydream Retrievers 26 | J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 8

::ALBUMS SUNDAY, JANUARY 7

The Eagles

Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/ Julie Brandenburg Dugout 54, Dugout 54 Sunday Open Jam Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jammin’ Jimmy Open Jam (3pm) Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic The Tonic Tavern, Third Coast Blues w/Jim Liban & Nick Moss (4pm)

Hotel California: 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition

MONDAY, JANUARY 8 Jazz Estate, Youth in a Roman Field Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Monica Noelle (7:30-11pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/Christopher John Up & Under Pub, Open Mic w/Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers

TUESDAY, JANUARY 9 C Notes Upscale Sports Lounge, Another Night-Another Mic Open Mic w/host The Original Darryl Hill Frank’s Power Plant, Duck and Cover Comedy Open Mic Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Jim Yorgan Sextet Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm) Silver Spring House, Rick Holmes Jam The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 10 Conway’s Smokin’ Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson Jazz Estate, Jerry Grillo Band Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature Jake Wild (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Paulie’s Field Trip, Humpday Jam w/Dave Wacker & Mitch Cooper Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Packing House Restaurant, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm)

(WARNER MUSIC GROUP) By the end of 1977 when The Eagles released Hotel California, the Los Angeles rock scene had become a corporate industry manufacturing soulless music from fading remnants of counterculture ideals. The Eagles embodied that trend and yet, Hotel California served as a critique of that soullessness, ironically wrapped in a production as passionless as 2% milk. The 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition includes a second disc, recorded in concert a year earlier, whose first-take versions of Hotel California songs sounded a bit snappier in that live setting. And this of course points to one problem with ’70s West Coast rock—and late ’70s mainstream rock in general: sterile production in facilities that resembled Mission Control more than Sun Studio. The several excellent songs on Hotel California dealing with the treacherous high-life of L.A.—especially the Latintinged “New Kid in Town” and the Joe Walsh-guitar propelled “Life in the Fast Lane” and “Victim of Love”—all suffer from a production that valued mellow over all else by engineers determined to airbrush all imperfection. The songwriting is the reason the album holds together. —David Luhrssen

The Doors

Strange Days: 50th Anniversary Deluxe Edition

(RHINO) The eddying carnival swirl of Ray Manzarek’s organ and Jim Morrison’s tape-distorted vocals on the title track set the mood. Strange Days is the world seen through an askew lens. Each song is a distinct part of the greater whole in an album that works as a collection of short stories. “Moonlight Drive” is the most approachable song in its poetic call to romance. Mostly, Strange Days is a dark funhouse where reflections are reflected on reflections and each image is a little bent. Morrison is in fine form, rising easily from soft croon to stentorian on “Lost Little Girl,” his voice a reassuring contrast to the hesitant melody. The 50th Anniversary Edition includes a second disc with the mono mix, but unlike many ’60s rock albums, the stereo version is where the pleasure lies. Strange Days didn’t seem out of time upon release in 1967, yet most of the songs sound timeless half a century on. —David Luhrssen

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::ONTHECOUCH

Something bugging you? Find out what the Shrink thinks

Am I Nuts?

hat’s wrong with me? I have a great partner, I like my job, I have wonderful friends, I’m in good health and I have enough money. I should have no complaints at all, but I’m not happy. It feels like something is missing, but I have no idea what it is or where to find it. Am I nuts? Nope, you’re not nuts. But I get how you might feel like it. Happiness is a misunderstood concept. People believe that it’s a steady state when, in reality, happiness visits us in moments. There are scads of research studies devoted to ﬁguring out what makes people happy. The premise being, if only we knew the deﬁnite ingredients we could then install those components in our lives and, voilà!—happy ever after. Unfortunately, there is no one path to bliss, so install all of the internal happiness software you want. It might work all of the time, some of the time or not at all. Many people with your question might start a different way—with what’s wrong in their life. To have no true pals, a dysfunctional relationship, a crappy job where you are underappreciated and underpaid, etc. are very good reasons to be stuck in a pessimistic funk. You, on the other hand, defy logic: All is pretty darn well in your world so, to your point, what’s missing? Here are some things to think about as you continue to ponder this existential query:

What, literally, is your deﬁnition of “happy”? Start by writing down how you would deﬁne it, then check out what the dictionary says. Make sure to look at the synonyms for happy. One or more of those other words might actually describe the state of being you operate in; you might be thinking that there’s something else, or something more or different that you’re supposed to be feeling, but it might be a labeling problem instead. Maybe you actually are happy, but by another name.

It’s been said, “Happiness is an inside job,” which would imply that your solution lies along the path of an inward pursuit. There are plenty of experts, wise sages and self-help book authors that would swear by this notion. If you only add or subtract or tweak some things in your inner interpretation of the world, the holy grail of happiness will be yours. So have at it: meditate, do some yoga, read a self-help book, pray; it’s all great. But don’t get too attached to your pre-conceived notion about the outcome of your efforts. Find your moments of pleasure, contentment and joy in the process vs. waiting for a big result. Research also shows a correlation between happiness and social interaction. People who have friends or are in a reasonably good relationship or feel part of a clan they consider to be family and who make a regular habit of spending time and energy on such relationships report being happier than those who don’t have these connections. There’s something to be said for having people to vent about life’s woes with or to have some good laughs with. Both misery and joy love company. What decidedly does not contribute to existential happiness, however, is an over-dependence on Facebook or other social media for connection. Sure, Facebook has been and will continue to be literally a life-changing, worldchanging phenomenon—both for better and for worse. It’s great for rekindling old friendships gone dormant or maintaining long-distance communication. But for now, put down your device and interact with actual, living, breathing humans. I guarantee you’ll be happier. (Besides, devices can’t give hugs.) So stop trying so hard. You are not describing yourself as someone who is clinically depressed and in need of medication. Try paying attention to the tiny bits of contentment, humor and beauty that come your way each day. Label them happiness. Finally, if you feel like reading, here are a few books on the subject: Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project (gretchenrubin.com). Dan Harris, 10% Happier (10percenthappier.com). Ruth Whippman, America the Anxious (ruthwhippman.com).

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On the Couch is written by a licensed mental health professional. You can send your questions to onthecouch@shepex.com and comment at shepherdexpress.com.

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CUSTOMER SERVICE By James Barrick

THEME CROSSWORD

PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Sum Sudoku”

Put one digit from 1-9 in each square of this Sudoku so that the following three conditions are met: 1) each row, column, and 3x3 box (as marked off by heavy lines in the grid) contains the digits 1-9 exactly one time; 2) no digit is repeated within any of the areas marked off by dotted lines; and 3) the sums of the numbers in each area marked off by dotted lines total the little number given in each of those areas. Now do what I tell you—solve!! psychosudoku@gmail.com 15

7 7

5 12

ACROSS 1. Barter 5. Together: 2 wds. 10. Anoint, archaically 15. Plague 19. Malden or Lagerfeld 20. First State’s AFB 21. — — your life! 22. Arch 23. Start of a quip by anonymous: 6 wds. 26. Seat of Irish kings 27. Expected, in a way 28. — Lama 29. Bookworm 31. Blue flag 32. Movie 33. Pastry shell 35. Horizontally 38. Repetitive song 39. Part 2 of quip: 3 wds. 43. One of the Curies 44. Gray 45. Medieval tale 47. Literary collection 48. Pesters 49. False alarm 50. Fasteners 51. Break of a sudden nature 52. Corn spike 53. Signs 54. Pork sausages 55. Watchmaking unit 56. Family member 58. Move in and out 59. Haggard and Oberon 60. Part 3 of quip: 5 wds. 64. Senility 66. Winged 67. Datebooks 70. Strike out 71. Straight, narrow cuts 72. Sealed vial: Var. 74. Anglo-Saxon letter

75. Dresden’s river 76. Go! 77. Strikes 78. Fed. agcy. 79. Buck: Abbr. 80. Little 81. — anteater 82. Not at all cool 83. Part 4 of quip 85. Buscemi or Martin 86. Foolish 87. Stared, in a way 89. — of heaven 90. Within: Prefix 91. A berry, believe it or not 94. Broadcast 96. Abyssinia, at present 100. Part of AFL: Abbr. 101. End of the quip: 3 wds. 104. A wader 105. Behaved 106. An archangel 107. Quod — demonstrandum 108. Enameled tinplate 109. Brants 110. Skeptical 111. Art movement DOWN 1. Gear for some racers 2. Aftermath 3. Wild water buffalo 4. Occlusives, in phonetics 5. Dreamboat 6. Seats 7. Picture frame shape 8. Beak 9. Shoot forth, as wheel spokes 10. Sock 11. Part of NB 12. Value system 13. Hawaii’s Mauna —

14. Consigns 15. Latke ingredient 16. Minced oath 17. Withered 18. Go at great speed 24. Even less skilled 25. Governess 30. — quam videri 32. Scorches 34. Kitchen scraps 35. Adjutants 36. Zagreb native 37. Just too bad 38. Sept 40. Dhaka native 41. Utterly foolish 42. Stands wide open 44. Bouquet 45. Want 46. Of a grain 49. Struck sharply 50. MLB player 51. Dangerous beauty 53. Kind of orange 54. Borscht ingredient 55. Raze 57. Step 58. — Berry Stapp Earp 59. Sorcerer 61. Substance used in fire extinguishers

62. Lawman Ness 63. Pleased 64. Feats 65. Ship’s lowest deck 68. — Ababa 69. Influence 71. Magnitude 72. Sakes —! 73. Big cat’s thatch 76. Rapscallion 77. Rapid, archaically 78. Treeless 80. Indicator 81. Scatter 82. Up to 84. Lacking refinement 85. Took very long steps 86. Wicked 88. Great Florentine poet 90. Old anesthetic 91. Come-on 92. Reading desk 93. Young or Diamond 95. Day of infamy 96. Cleveland’s waters 97. Aqua — 98. Tablet PC 99. Hammett pooch 102. Diamonds 103. Bauxite, e.g.

F O T H E C R

D U P O P E I R

Y S S A N T I I N G

U S Q L U M A I S M H R

13 12

20 19

12/28 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 28 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Let’s Play Chess Solution: 28 Letters

I E M P A A C T

A B E M E S W A E X

3 15

9 J U M P Y P I B B E Z Z L E N Z C R D V A R K O R O L L N V A R E P E N R T O E L I O T R A P T Y P T W H

Solution to last week’s puzzle

Ability Alert Bind Bishop Black Board Catch Chaturanga Defeat Draw En passant Fast Gambit Hush

King Knight Kriegspiel Learn Lost Men Nerves Pawn Piece Plan Play Queen Quiet Resign

Rook Row Sacrifice Skilful Slow Stalemate Systems Tactics Take Test Time White Zugzwang

12/28 Solution: An exciting time in your life

28 | J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 8

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Solution: Need to make every move strategic

Creators Syndicate

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Date: 1/4/18

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Soulful beauty will be a major theme for you in 2018. Or at least it should be. But I suppose it’s possible you’re not very interested in soulful beauty, perhaps even bored by it. Maybe you prefer skin-deep beauty or expensive beauty or glamorous beauty. If you choose to follow predilections like those, you’ll lose out on tremendous opportunities to grow wilder and wiser. But let’s hope you make yourself available for a deeper, more provocative kind of beauty—a beauty that you could become more skilled at detecting as the year unfolds. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Let your freak flag fly” was an expression that arose from the hippie culture of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a colorful way to say, “Be your most unique and eccentric self; show off your idiosyncrasies with uninhibited pride.” I propose that we revive it for your use in 2018. I suspect the coming months will be a favorable time for you to cultivate your quirks and trust your unusual impulses. You should give yourself maximum freedom to explore pioneering ideas and maverick inclinations. Paradoxically, doing so will lead to stabilizing and enduring improvements in your life. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In accordance with the astrological omens, I suggest you start compiling a list entitled, “People, Places, Ideas and Things I Didn’t Realize Until Now That I Could Fall in Love With.” And then keep adding more and more items to this tally during the next 10 months. To get the project underway in the proper spirit, you should wander freely and explore jauntily, giving yourself permission to instigate interesting mischief and brush up against deluxe temptations. For best results, open your heart and your eyes as wide as you can. One further clue: Act on the assumption that in 2018 you will be receptive to inspirational influences and life-transforming teachings that you have never before been aware of. ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 2018, your past will undergo transformation. Your memories will revise and rearrange themselves. Bygone events that seemed complete and definitive will shimmy and shift, requiring new interpretations. The stories you have always told about how you became who you are will have to be edited, perhaps even rewritten. While these overhauls may sometimes be disconcerting, they will ultimately be liberating. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 2018, people will be drawn to you even more than usual. Some will want you to be their rock—their steady, stable source of practical truth. Some will ask you to be their tonic—their regular, restorative dose of no-nonsense. And others will find in you a creative catalyst that helps them get out of their ruts and into their grooves. And what will you receive in return for providing such a stellar service? First, there’ll be many opportunities to deepen and refine your integrity. To wield that much influence means you’ll have to consistently act with high-minded motivations. And secondly, Taurus, you’ll get a steady supply of appreciation that will prove to be useful as well as gratifying. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Influences that oppose you will fade as 2018 unfolds. People who have been resistant and uncooperative will at least partially disengage. To expedite the diminishing effects of these influences and people, avoid struggling with them. Loosen the grip they have on your imagination. Any time they leak into your field of awareness, turn your attention instead to an influence or person that helps and supports you. Here’s another idea about how to collaborate with the cosmic rhythms to reduce the conflict in your life: Eliminate any unconscious need you might have for the perversely invigorating energy provided by adversaries and bugaboos. Find positive new ways to motivate yourself. CANCER (June 21-July 22): I predict that in 2018 you will figure out how to get your obsessions to consistently work for your greatest good. You will come to understand what you must do to ensure they never drag you down into manic self-sabotage. The resolute ingenuity you summon to accomplish this heroic feat will change you forever. You will be reborn into a more vibrant version of your life. Passions that in the past have drained and

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

confused you will become efficient sources of fuel for your worthiest dreams. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Just because you have become accustomed to a certain trouble doesn’t mean you should stop searching for relief from that trouble. Just because a certain pain no longer knocks you into a demoralized daze for days at a time doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Now here’s the good news: In 2018, you can finally track down the practical magic necessary to accomplish a thorough healing of that trouble and pain. Make this the year you find a more ultimate cure. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have you ever nursed a yearning to speak Swahili or Chinese or Russian? The coming months will be an excellent time to get that project underway. Do you fantasize about trying exotic cuisines and finding new favorite foods? I invite you to act on that fantasy in 2018. Is there a form of manual labor that would be tonic for your mental and physical health? Life is giving you a go-ahead to do more of it. Is there a handicraft or ball game you’d like to become more skilled at? Get started. Is there a new trick you’d like to learn to do with your mouth or hands? Now’s the time. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Before the 15th century, European nations confined their sailing to the Mediterranean Sea. The ocean was too rough for their fragile, inadaptable ships. But around 1450, the Portuguese developed a new kind of vessel, the caravel. It employed a triangular sail that enabled it to travel against the wind. Soon, exploratory missions ventured into the open sea and down along the coast of West Africa. Eventually, this new technology enabled long westward trips across the Atlantic. I propose that we make the caravel your symbol of power for 2018, Libra. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will find or create a resource that enables you to do the metaphorical equivalent of effectively sailing into the wind. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Aztecs were originally wanderers. They kept moving from place to place, settling temporarily in areas throughout the land we now call Mexico. An old prophecy told them that they would eventually find a permanent home at a site where they saw an eagle roosting on a cactus as it clutched a snake in its talons. There came a day in the 14th century when members of the tribe spied this very scene on an island in the middle of a lake. That’s where they began to build the city that in time was the center of their empire. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, so it can serve as a metaphor to guide you in 2018. I suspect that you, too, will discover your future power spot—the heart of your domain for years to come. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Not every minute of every day, but when you have had the time, you’ve been searching for a certain treasure. With patience and persistence, you have narrowed down its whereabouts by collecting clues and following your intuition. Now, at last, you know its exact location. As you arrive, ready to claim it, you tremble with anticipation. But when you peel away the secrets in which it has been wrapped, you see that it’s not exactly what you expected. Your first response is disappointment. Nevertheless, you decide to abide in the presence of the confusing blessing and see what happens. Slowly, incrementally, you become aware of a new possibility: that you’re not quite ready to understand and use the treasure— that you’ll have to grow new capacities before you’ll be ready for it in its fullness. Homework: I’d love to see your top five New Year’s resolutions. Share by going to realastrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Barking While Intoxicated

umter County, Fla., sheriff’s deputies were dispatched to The Villages on Nov. 19 where resident Lori Jo Matthews, 60, reportedly “barked” at her neighbor’s dogs, then entered her neighbor’s yard, yelling at the neighbor and finally slapping her neighbor after being told to leave. Deputies caught up with Matthews as she attempted to enter her own home, where she was handcuffed and arrested on charges of battery and resisting arrest. Alcohol, reported villagesnews.com, may have been involved.

Self-Absorbent The Tea Terrace in London is offering a new way for customers to enjoy themselves, literally. On Dec. 16, the shop began selling the “Selfieccino,” an image of the customer’s face in the frothy topping of either a cappuccino or a hot chocolate. Patrons send a photo to the shop via an online messaging app, and the “Cino” machine takes it from there, reproducing the picture with flavorless food coloring in about four minutes. “Due to social media,” shop owner Ehab Salem Shouly told Reuters, “the dining experience has completely shifted. It’s not enough anymore to just deliver great food and great service; it’s got to be Instagram-worthy.”

Did You Notice All the Cops? Melissa Allen, 32, was arrested on Dec. 19 after attempting to shoplift more than $1,000 in merchandise from a Framingham, Mass., Target store, reported the Boston Globe. On hand to help in the arrest were more than 50 police officers who were at the store to participate in the annual “Shop with a Cop” holiday charity event.

Unintended Consequences Stephen Allen of Tukwila, Wash., moved in with his grandmother years ago to help care for her. When she died last year, he invited his brother, a convicted drug dealer, to move in, but along with him came drug activity, squatters, stolen property and debris. Allen eventually asked police to raid the home, but when

they did on Dec. 15, they evicted Allen as well, leaving him homeless. “It’s all legal, but it’s wrong,” Allen told KIRO-7 News. “I can’t do anything about it.”

Nature’s Untimely Call Tracy Hollingsworth Stephens, 50, of Alachua, Fla., answered Nature’s call on Nov. 25 by stopping her car in the middle of County Road 232 and stepping outside. An officer of the Florida Highway Patrol soon took notice as he had been searching for Stephens following her involvement in a two-car collision in the parking lot of a nearby T.J. Maxx store earlier that day. Stephens subsequently underperformed on a field sobriety test, according to The Independent Florida Alligator and was arrested for driving under the influence and leaving the scene of an accident.

I’m Not Even Here! Workers at Captain Hiram’s Sandbar in Sebastian, Fla., resorted to calling police on Nov. 17 when customer William Olivieri, 63, refused to leave the bar after a night of drinking. Olivieri told Sebastian police he had arrived by boat, but when a quick walk down a nearby dock failed to uncover the boat, he said perhaps he had driven himself to the bar in a black Hyundai, reported the Sebastian Daily. Throughout his interview with police outside the bar in Sebastian, Olivieri steadfastly refused to admit he was even in Sebastian—claiming he was, right then and there, in his home town of Melbourne, Fla. Wherever he was, Olivieri was arrested on a charge of disorderly intoxication and taken to the Indian River County Jail.

Porcine Perp North Fort Myers, Fla. (yes, again Florida), homeowner Joanie Mathews was terrorized for hours on Nov. 14 by a large pig that wandered into her yard overnight and spent the day destroying the lawn and biting Mathews three times before trapping her in the cab of her truck. “She would circle the truck, and I would jump in the back seat, and I was like, ‘Go away, pig!’” Mathews told NBC-2 TV. Mathews finally called law enforcement, and it took three Lee County sheriff’s officers to wrangle the testy porker. “It was just hilarious because the pig fought them every which way,” Mathews said. No one, at press time, had stepped forward to claim the pig. © 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 8 | 29

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