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TICKETS AVAILABLE AT ticketmaster.com / 800.745.3000 or visit the NLT Box Office 1721 WEST CANAL STREET • MILWAUKEE, WI 53233 • MUST BE AT LEAST 21 YEARS OLD TO ATTEND SHOWS • FOR MORE INFORMATION, CALL 414-847-7922 ALL SCHEDULES SUBJECT TO CHANGE • MANAGEMENT RESERVES ALL RIGHTS ©2018 FOREST COUNTY POTAWATOMI COMMUNITY, WISCONSIN
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1721 WEST CANAL STREET • MILWAUKEE, WI 53233 • MUST BE AT LEAST 21 YEARS OLD TO ATTEND SHOWS • FOR MORE INFORMATION, CALL 414-847-7922 ALL SCHEDULES SUBJECT TO CHANGE MANAGEMENT RESERVES ALL RIGHTS ©2018 FOREST COUNTY POTAWATOMI COMMUNITY, WISCONSIN
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COURTESY OF MPS
FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK
Students at MacDowell Montessori School
MPS Furnishes High-Level Specialty Curricula HIGHLIGHTING THREE UNIQUE INSTITUTIONS ::BY SELENA MILEWSKI he massive, unprecedented and ongoing funding cuts to Wisconsin’s public education system may cause many to assume that parents must enroll their children in private or charter schools to ensure access to specialty curriculum in college-preparatory programs, arts, environmental studies, advanced foreign language studies and the like. The reality, however, is that many of these offerings exist within the Milwaukee Public Schools (MPS) system. Continuing the work of a previous article highlighting Milwaukee High School of the Arts’ specialty offerings, we here take a closer look at three more MPS schools that go above and beyond their state-mandated curricula. We solicited responses from faculty member Lesley Zylstra and Principal Richard Bukosky of Hawley Environmental School, Principal Andrea Corona of MacDowell Montessori School and Principal Yvette Martel of Milwaukee School of Languages to learn more about what their institutions have to offer.
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Hawley Environmental School
True to its name, this K4-fifth grade elementary school focuses on environmental education. Boasting a greenhouse, aquaponics lab, weekly environmental education classes and school gardens, Hawley likewise offers art, music, physical education and technology classes—all in addition to its regular academic curriculum. Hawley is also in the process of innovating its specialty curriculum into a STEM-based (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) program, with environmental studies remaining at its heart. Asked what makes environmental studies important to elementary education, Zylstra and Bukosky replied by email in a statement that read, “By definition, ‘elementary’ means ‘relating to the most rudimentary aspects of a subject.’ Environmental studies, though it can become incredibly sophisticated and developed, at its core is ‘the basics’: how we survive, how the Earth works, how living things function. It only seems fair to teach our youth these basics.” As populations and resources become strained, the need for environmental scientists and engineers with a grounding in Earth systems will only grow. “It is one of the fastest-growing job markets today,” the statement continued. “Hawley Environmental School’s vision is that ‘Hawley students will be globally-minded critical thinkers and environmentally conscious leaders.’ We don’t pretend that this is accomplished when they leave Hawley at 11 years old, but we do hope that we have laid the foundation that supports these future adults to be productive citizens in the future—for their own benefit and all of ours!” Hawley’s environmental studies emphasize enviro-economic systems such as food production. The statement stressed that through its participation in the Fresh Fruits and Vegetable Program (FFVP), Hawley not only provides students nutritious snacks but also the opportunity to learn about the food growing and production process in our country. A recent teachable moment occured when students expected to try pluots (a plum-apricot hybrid) for the first time but did not receive the fruits as planned, leading neatly into a discussion of the recent wildfires in California and the impact this has had on the enviro-economic system. Students likewise engage with Milwaukee’s and the nation’s pressing issue of hunger. “We teach our students how to grow their own food, harvest, cook, compost and, with the help of the FFVP, the nutritional value and health benefits of fruits and vegetables,” according to the Hawley statement. “By the time students leave Hawley, they have even experienced working in our one-of-a-kind, three-system Aquaponics Lab with teacher Casey McEvilly. This is another example of asking our students to scale back from the small picture of feeding current hunger to the bigger picture of sustained health and food system production.” Focusing as well on place-based education, students enjoy and help maintain two outdoor classrooms, eight raised-bed gardens, a sensory-pollinator garden and a native Wisconsin prairie garden. Of course, it wouldn’t be place-based education in Milwaukee if our tremendous water resources were not included. To wit, students study the Great Lakes and water resources and industries.
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A partnership with the Urban Ecology Center provides education on Milwaukee’s immediate watershed through multiple access points along the Menomonee River, where students investigate biotic indicators of water quality. The Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewage District (MMSD) provided a map of water flow from Hawley to Lake Michigan and Jones Island. Fifth grade students visit Jones Island to learn about the systems MMSD engineers have designed to manage the local watershed and process waste before the water returns to the lake. Likewise, through a partnership with the Alliance for the Great Lakes, Hawley students participate in beach cleanups and collect pollution data. “With a specialty curriculum, it takes planning, research and collaboration to be sure we are meeting both state and district requirements, while keeping our school’s mission in focus,” the statement added. “We use multiple resources—curricular, digital and human—and consistent integration of subjects so that our environmental program is not just science, math, literacy or social studies, but rather a part of each one of those subjects, and those subjects are each a part of the environmental program.”
MacDowell Montessori School
MacDowell Montessori—which holds the distinction of being the only public K3-12th grade Montessori school in the nation—has a unique history and set of offerings for students. The elementary-aged portion of the school has been in operation since 1976, making it the oldest public Montessori school in the state and among the oldest in the nation. In 2006, a charter Montessori high school opened, and, in 2012, the school board moved the elementary school into the high school’s building—merging the two and making the entire K312 experience part of MPS. To enroll above the K4 level, grade school students must previously have had continuous Montessori school attendance (case-by-case exceptions may be made), while high school admission is completely open. Principal Corona described the foundations of Montessori education: “Maria Montessori was a physician in Italy. She developed the initial early childhood curriculum in 1906. She was a medical doctor trying to work in a sanatorium with developmentally disabled and physically disabled children. They weren’t being provided an education in the facility, just physical care. She observed them, studied them and started developing curricular materials to help them engage with content. The children that were never supposed to have a right to education outperformed both Italy’s public and private school children on performance assessments, and it spiraled from there.” The modern Montessori model serves children with and without special needs. Expanding on the unique features of Montessori education, Corona first offered perspective
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on the benefit of extending the amount of time students can receive a Montessori education. “The nice part about being a K-12 school is we have a prime opportunity for vertical alignment of our curriculum. We’re all here in the same building and we can talk.” Addressing the way this setup benefits students, she said, “It gives you the opportunity to build community in a way that most schools don’t have. Some of the students that are graduating this year were here since they were 3 years old, and that’s really special … We try to build opportunities for them to be leaders and for them to showcase their skills. For example, last year, two of our varsity boys basketball players coached the elementary basketball team … We also give older students opportunities to work as tutors with the elementary level students; and we have a Big Brothers-Big Sisters program.” Regarding Montessori’s unique educational features, Corona said the multi-age classroom approach reflects Maria Montessori’s observation that children go through three-year developmental planes. A benefit of classrooms combining three age groups is that children have the same teacher for three years and develop consistency, community and leadership. “For example, in our K3 through K5 classroom, the K5s are the stewards of the environment and the community,” Corona explained. “The younger students have to ask them for help and guidance. Each time students transition to a new developmental level, they get to work to become leaders once again.” In Montessori schools, the curriculum is based on students working independently and in small groups and using specific sets of concrete, sensorial materials. “Those materials are sequenced in a way that develops content in the different curricular areas, but also the curriculum is designed so that it allows for cross-categorical studies,” Corona said. “Also, we allow students to have choice in how they follow up with their learning. For example, if I’m giving you a lesson about currents in the ocean, you may get extraordinarily interested in the science of currents, you may get interested in the doldrums and how ships used to get trapped for months, and you might start researching historical stories about how that happened. Each individual student has the opportunity to follow their interest and explore content in a way that’s most meaningful for them. And, of course, all of that is wrapped up in literacy: vocabulary development, content-area reading and writing and research and inquiry. All of those really important standards are in the Common Core. We provide instruction on those standards but in a way that’s really engaging for students.” MacDowell is also part of the International Baccalaureate (IB) program, which provides rigorous curriculum for college preparation and offers the opportunity for a standardized, internationally benchmarked test that can translate into
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JANUARY 11, 2018 | 7
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NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE
Lesley Zylstra reads to a classroom at Hawley Environmental School
FOCUSING AS WELL ON PLACE-BASED EDUCATION, HAWLEY ENVIRONMENTAL SCHOOL STUDENTS ENJOY AND HELP MAINTAIN TWO OUTDOOR CLASSROOMS, EIGHT RAISED-BED GARDENS, A SENSORY-POLLINATOR GARDEN AND A NATIVE WISCONSIN PRAIRIE GARDEN. > MPS continued from previous page
three to seven college credits per subject area (dependent on specific institutions’ requirements). All 11th and 12th grade students at MacDowell take a full IB course load focused on six subject groups and the IB Diploma Program core, which highlights theory of knowledge, creativity, activity, service and an extended essay. Asked how IB merges with Montessori, Corona said, “IB and Montessori are really a natural marriage at the adolescent level because IB also approaches curriculum in a very holistic way and is really looking at developing the attributes of the learner ... It provides a further opportunity for students to have deep content-area learning.” Regarding partnerships and specialty programs even beyond the Montessori approach and IB program, MacDowell works with multiple organizations including Danceworks, Milwaukee Chamber Theatre, Milwaukee Repertory Theater, Urban Ecology Center, Havenwoods Environmental Center and the Milwaukee County Zoo. MacDowell is also at the forefront of a district-wide initiative to bring mindfulness training to MPS students and staff. Now in its fourth year, MacDowell’s program partners with Growing Minds and Reset Mind and Body to teach yoga, breathing techniques and mindfulness meditation. The results, Corona attested, are invaluable. “That work has been 8 | JANUARY 11, 2018
transformative for our students,” she says. “It’s really helped them remain calm and focused on their work and learning in the classroom environment.” MacDowell’s unique offerings have likewise proven successful on national metrics. Asked to cite a recent achievement, Corona shared, “Two years ago, we were recognized for academic rigor by The Washington Post. We were really pleased to be ranked number 27 in the state of Wisconsin for academic outcomes—especially considering that we graduated a class of 32 students that year, and we don’t have an admissions requirement. We just couldn’t believe it. We felt like the Little Engine that Could.”
Milwaukee School of Languages
Milwaukee School of Languages (MSL) serves grades six through 12 offering immersion programs in German, French, Mandarin Chinese and Spanish. MPS elementary language immersion graduates enter the school’s full immersion programs in sixth grade, and students from other schools may apply to partial Spanish immersion in grade six as well. Art, music and physical education are offered at all grade levels as well as elective courses and Advanced Placement (AP) courses in 11 subjects. The AP Capstone Program is likewise available, allowing
students two AP courses: one focused on seminar learning and the other on research. Both are designed to supplement the discipline-specific studies of other AP courses. This is a coup for MSL since it is one of the first three MPS schools (along with Alexander Hamilton High School and Milwaukee High School of the Arts) to adopt the prestigious college preparatory program. Asked what makes language immersion an important and effective part of elementary and secondary education, Principal Martel cited several advantages: “It develops students who have more flexibility in thinking, a higher level of creativity, greater sensitivity to language and a better ear for listening. It also helps strengthen basic skills, improving memory and problem-solving skills. It maximizes the brain’s window of opportunity for easy language acquisition, helps develop stronger communication skills and gives students a head start on high school and college language requirements.” She expanded on the neurological development side of things, stating that “the specialty curriculum starts the students at an earlier age when their brains have a better aptitude for soaking up new knowledge. In immersion, the method mimics how students learn from their parents and others. They learn by doing and by being immersed in the language.” Interestingly, Martel also argued that foreign-language study improves a child’s understanding of his or her native language, while simultaneously opening doors to cross-cultural appreciation. On a practical note, she maintains that it also increases job opportunities within the global economy. Asked how language immersion relates to Wisconsin Common Core requirements, Martel said, “All of the teachers use the Common Core State Standards in the core classes. The only difference between a student in immersion and a student in a monolingual school is that the classes for an immersion student are taught in the target language. Content is the same. The culture classes focus on the cultures of the different languages.” At MSL, full-immersion students in sixth or seventh grade receive language classes taught in the target language, as well as math, social studies and culture classes. English, science, music, physical education, art and computers are taught in English. Not surprisingly, MSL boasts an impressive international partnership with the prominent German education organization Zentralstelle für das Auslandsschulwesen (ZfA). Martel says, “MSL was selected to be a PASCH school by ZfA/Central Agency for Schools Abroad in 2010. PASCH schools place a high value on German language and culture and offer the internationally recognized German Language Exam (Deutsches Sprachdiplom). “The Central Agency for Schools Abroad, which is supported by the German government, supports our program with a representative from the agency who helps us with materials, resources and professional development to strengthen our classroom instruction and prepare students for the German Language Exam. Milwaukee German Immersion School (K4-grade 5) and MSL are the only PASCH schools in Wisconsin and one of only a few such programs in the United States; PASCH schools are located all around the world.” Citing MSL’s successes, Martel also pointed to The Washington Post. “The Post has named MPS’s Milwaukee School of Languages as one of the best high schools in the state according to its ‘America’s Most Challenging High Schools’ list. Milwaukee School of Languages was number three in this ranking and among the top 12% in the country.” For a complete listing of specialty-curriculum schools within MKS, visit mps.milwaukee.k12.wi.us/en/schools/finda-school and search schools by criteria including “gifted and talented,” “arts focus,” “bilingual” and so forth. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS
NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE
INDIA-BASED MOTORCYCLE COMPANY SETS UP SHOP IN MILWAUKEE ::BY ROB HULLUM
M
ilwaukee is a Harley-Davidson town. The company was founded in the city 114 years ago and is still headquartered here to this day. But recently the Milwaukee motorcycle giant has run into a bit of trouble. Harley’s third quarter financial report for 2017 shows revenue down 9.7%, net income down 40.2% and market share stagnant at 50.7%. The logical assumption suggests that the new motorcycle company on the block, who set up shop in Milwaukee for their North American headquarters in September 2016, would be hungry to take advantage of the behemoth’s rough patch. But John Kear, general manager of the Royal Enfield dealership in Milwaukee’s Third Ward, is quick to dash those assumptions. “With Harley-Davidson, we’re not a competitor; we probably complement them in the market,” he said. Royal Enfield—a U.K.-founded, India-based motorcycle company that has been in business since 1901—builds motorcycles that are perfect for the urban rider. Their motorcycles are relatively small, lightweight and inexpensive, and many of them aren’t even recommended for highway riding. It’s a long way from the speed races, open highways and other Bruce Springsteen lyrics commonly associated with American motorcycle culture.
The Rise in Urban Motorcycling
The World Bank has periodically documented the growth of motorcycle use in global urban environments since at least 2010, when World Bank urban transport specialist Georges Darido wrote: “Motorcycles are prevalent in the developing world because they are relatively cheap to own and operate, usually less regulated and can be faster than other modes on very congested roads.” Since then, The World Bank has released reports on “the emerging role of motorcycles in African cities” and urban motorcycle safety in Latin America. Because of their base in India (the second most populous nation in the world), Royal Enfield is the perfect company to take the lead in this arena. But the trend of urban motorcycle use is not limited to developing nations. Though young people are buying motorcycles at a much lower rate than previous generations, manufacturers are betting on smaller, more affordable bikes—like the ones Royal Enfield produces—to win them back, and it seems to be working. “Between 2011 and 2016, sales of motorcycles with engines smaller than 600cc increased by 11.8%, while bigger, more powerful bikes managed only a 7.4% gain,” Bloomberg reported in July. GQ Magazine even documented “The Rise of the Moto-Commuter” back in 2011. Matthew Thompson is even younger than the Millennial riders that motorcycle manufacturers are dying to attract. Placed firmly in Generation Z, he is a 16-year-old high school football player, and he bought a Royal Enfield in June. Thompson was drawn to the brand eight years ago, when a friend bought one. He rode a Harley-Davidson while taking his motorcycle license class, but felt like “they didn’t have any thrill to them.” He also said that Harleys are too expensive for young riders, and they may be too intimidating as well. “For someone who is trying to ride motorcycles for the first time it can be terrifying,” he said. So for Thompson, his Royal Enfield is an easy way to get to and from everyday errands like school and football practice. The 60-70 miles per gallon he gets isn’t bad, either. Royal Enfield’s focus on the urban rider comes with another SHEPHERD EXPRESS
distinction: their 226 N. Water St. location. “Look at other motorcycle dealers and where they are; they’re not in the city,” Kear said. “Royal Enfield is the only motorcycle dealership actually in the city.” Urbanism is growing as a movement. Young people are embracing life in the city, as opposed to the suburbs of their
Connecting with the Community
Royal Enfield has managed to use their central-city location as a way of connecting with the community in a way that suburban dealerships may find difficult. The company sponsors the Brewtown Rumble, a vintage motorcycle show at the Downtown Milwaukee Pabst Brewery. The dealership also opens its doors for Gallery Night and Day, which aligns far more with the Downtown art scene than Sturgis. “Motorcycle Movie” screenings are periodically held at the dealership, and there are plans to host an open-to-thepublic concert featuring a to-be-announced local band in the near future. “It’s about engaging with the city on a different level,” Kear said. The most ambitious community involvement initiative Royal Enfield puts on is their café run, named after the café racer style of motorcycles that Royal Enfield manufactures. (“Café racer” alludes to the old European practice of racing around cities from café to café.) On Sunday mornings in the riding season, motorcyclists meet up at the store at 8:30 a.m., some with Royal Enfields, some with other types of bikes, and they ride to a local café. During these café runs—when traffic is much lighter in the usually crowded Third Ward—Kear said riders experience the city in a unique way. “People have said that they’ve never seen Milwaukee in that light before,” Kear said. “Having the sort of freedom to really look around the city—to see it without the pressure of rush-hour traffic and be able to appreciate the city in a completely different light—is important and a contributing aspect to motorcycling culture.” Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD STAFF
Royal Enfield Embraces the Urban Rider
parents’ generation, and a boom in urban retail space has followed the types of multifamily units that are springing up all over Milwaukee and many other cities in the country. “From a quality-of-life perspective, city centers have improved,” Kear said.
John Kear and Kyle Kompas of Royal Enfield
JANUARY 11, 2018 | 9
NEWS&VIEWS ::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( JAN. 11 - 17, 2018 )
T
he Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Trump administration, as well as other activities by all those who seek to thwart social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinking-discussion get-togethers and any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.
Troubled by OCD? Participate in a clinical research study
Rogers Behavioral Health is currently recruiting individuals (aged 18-65) with OCD symptoms to participate in testing a computer-based treatment program. The treatment, delivered on a smart phone in a controlled setting, is aimed at reducing the anxiety associated with the disorder. To learn more, call 414-865-2600 or visit rogershospital.org/research Qualified participants will receive compensation. All inquiries are confidential. Study is funded through private donations to the Rogers Memorial Hospital Foundation.
Thursday, Jan. 11
Civil Rights Talk with Margaret Rozga @ Franklin Public Library (9151 W. Loomis Road, Franklin), 6:30-7:30 p.m.
Civil rights activist Margaret Rozga will lead a presentation and conversation about fair housing issues in the past and present, including what caused housing to become a key issue in the mid1960s, and the impact and relevance this history has for today.
Saturday, Jan. 13
Voter and Civic Engagement Campaign @ Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin (221 S. Second St.), 10 a.m.-1 p.m.
Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin, Latino Voting Bloc of Wisconsin and Citizen Action of Wisconsin have organized a weekly Saturday campaign of knocking on doors and phone banking to get people thinking about the 2018 elections. Volunteers can go out and talk to voters about the issues that they care about and get them involved in different events happening in the community.
Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ The corner of Hawley and Bluemound roads, noon-1 p.m.
Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war and “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterward.
How to Win a Discipline Defense @ Milwaukee Area Labor Council (633 S. Hawley Road), 2-4 p.m.
This free, open-to-all workshop will explore union discipline principles. Joe Sexuaer, organizer with UFCW 1473, will lead the workshop through topics such as disparate treatment, due process, off-duty misconduct, presenting grievances and more.
Sunday, Jan. 14
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34th Annual Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday Celebration @ Marcus Center for the Performing Arts (929 N. Water St.), 1-3:30 p.m.
The Marcus Center for the Performing Arts will celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy with Milwaukee youth who will interpret Dr. King’s words through an art, speech and writing contest. This year’s theme is “Take a Stand for Truth and Justice.”
Monday, Jan. 15
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and His Speeches @ New Berlin Public Library (15105 W. Library Lane, New Berlin), 9:30-10:30 a.m.
In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the New Berlin Public Library will screen the civil rights legend’s major speeches and open up discussion after.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day Celebration @ the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center (1531 W. Vliet St.), noon
This program honoring the life and legacy of Dr. King will include music, dance and spoken word, as well as a speech from Nicole Brookshire, director of the Milwaukee County Office on AfricanAmerican Affairs. An open house will follow the program, and a teen dance party will run from 6-9 p.m. in the gym.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day Program @ St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church (1927 N. 4th St.), 1 p.m.
A program honoring Dr. King will be followed by a three-block march to his statue on King Drive, where there will be an open microphone to reflect on Dr. King’s work.
When Will it be Great for All of Us? @ J&B’s Blue Ribbon Bar and Grill (5230 W. Bluemound Road), 6-8 p.m.
This discussion on social justice issues and Milwaukee will be paneled by: Reggie Moore, director of the City of Milwaukee’s Office of Violence Prevention; Markasa Tucker, director of Wisconsin Voice, Inc.’s African American Roundtable; Supreme Moore Omokunde, county supervisor, District 10; Marisabel Cabrera, immigration lawyer and former chair of the DPW Latino Caucus.
Democratic Black Caucus of Wisconsin Launch Party @ SkyBox Sports Bar (2213 N. Martin Luther King Drive), 7-9 p.m.
The Democratic Black Caucus of Wisconsin will introduce their new brand, initiatives and programs during a night of food, drinks and networking. There will be a short program that will include a few words from the caucus chairman, as well as party leaders and elected officials.
Tuesday, Jan. 16
Winter Gathering for Tom Palzewicz @ Red Dot Tosa (6715 W. North Ave., Wauwatosa), 6-8 p.m. Red Dot Tosa will host a fundraiser for Democratic candidate for Wisconsin’s 5th congressional district Tom Palzewicz. Special guests for the night include Democratic National Committee member Khary Penebaker and State Assembly candidate Chris Rockwood. To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex. com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that the administration of Donald Trump and others of his kind have planned for our great country.
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NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES
The Fake News about Juvenile Prison Reform ::BY JOEL MCNALLY
I
n 1981, I was invited to give a commencement address to a department ceremony for journalism students graduating from Marquette University. I’m not claiming to be “a very stable genius” or anything, but I’ve got plenty of witnesses that more than 35 years ago I was warning future journalists never to engage in fake news. “Let’s get the most important issue out of the way right from the start,” I began. “You should not make up the stories you write. Of course, those of you graduating in advertising or public relations may disregard this.” 1981 was the year Janet Cooke, a feature writer for The Washington Post, won the Pulitzer Prize for the heartbreaking story of an 8-yearold heroin addict. Two days after winning, The Post returned the Pulitzer publicly announcing the reporter had fabricated the story. It happens rarely in journalism, a profession that emphasizes accuracy and exposes lies, but every few decades incidents actually have occurred. A far more serious problem is the one I joked about—the difficulty of separating the
truth about what politicians are doing from all the misleading public relations they put out.
Just in Time for the Election I thought of that when Gov. Scott Walker announced he was totally reversing every action he has ever taken to create hellishly inhumane conditions for children incarcerated in Wisconsin. Walker is trying to remove as an election issue all the violent physical and sexual assaults taking place in Walker’s juvenile prisons. He suddenly sounds like a progressive Democratic politician. That’s because his proposal was lifted directly from a bill introduced by Milwaukee State Rep. Evan Goyke, a rising, young Democratic activist. Walker now proposes closing the notorious Lincoln Hills School for Boys and Copper Lake School for Girls in northern Wisconsin and converting the complex into an adult prison. He claims he’d build five smaller regional juvenile facilities around the state including three in southeastern Wisconsin, nearer to the families of most incarcerated offenders. Holding youths closer to home reduces recidivism. Young people have support from family and access to community services. It’s even possible to employ staff experienced in dealing with children of different races growing up in urban neighborhoods. For years, Walker ignored Milwaukee judges and political leaders pleading for such an intelligent change. So Walker’s election year conversion is great news, right? Well,
maybe. Maybe not. Walker claims he’s radically reversing his incarceration policies in an election year, but he won’t introduce anything until the next budget in mid 2019. That’s a lot like doing nothing for a year and a half as violent assaults and suicides continue at the Houses of Horrors Wisconsin calls “schools” of incarceration for boys and girls.
Walker’s Disastrous Record Walker would be more believable as an advocate for decentralized facilities closer to home for young people if that wasn’t exactly the juvenile system he intentionally destroyed as soon as he became governor in 2011. He closed Ethan Allen Boys School in Waukesha County and Southern Oaks Girls School in Racine County to send children hundreds of miles away, the equivalent of the other side of the moon. There are terrible reasons Republicans build prisons in remote, rural locations. It provides jobs for white people in small towns guarding black and brown people from larger cities. That can lead directly to violent abuse, something best kept hidden far from pesky journalists. Small town locals often view black and brown children in cages like a frightening subhuman species. They’re fearfully prepared at all times to use violence to protect themselves. The horror stories started coming back from Lincoln Hills almost immediately. In 2012, a
Racine judge wrote directly to Walker he could no longer in good conscience send children to the complex. Walker claimed he never saw the letter, but even when stories of child rape, brutal assaults, broken bones, suicides and attempted suicides became public, Walker refused even to visit the facility and introduced no reforms other than shuffling staff. It took a lawsuit from the ACLU of Wisconsin and the Juvenile Law Center for a humane federal judge to stop the state from torturing children physically and psychologically with the routine use of blistering pepper spray and solitary confinement extending for months, practices long discredited and discontinued by corrections professionals elsewhere. Immediately shutting down the Lincoln Hills complex and assisting counties in housing juveniles in their communities are measures long overdue. Waiting a year and a half is unnecessarily cruel. There’s also absolutely no reason to restart prison building for adults. Other states are finding ways to reduce adult prison populations that grew to absurd, wasteful proportions under the War on Drugs destroying lives and livelihoods. Wisconsin should provide drug treatment, not join U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions in viciously restarting a drug war on American citizens. Walker needs to show his election year conversion isn’t just public relations or, worse, fake news. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n
NEWS&VIEWS::POLL
You Think Mueller’s Investigation Will Lead to Serious Charges Last week we asked you where you think Robert Mueller’s investigation is headed. You said: n It will fizzle out, resulting in only minor indictments of Trump associates: 31% n It will get serious and Trump will fire Mueller, spurring a constitutional crisis: 15% n Mueller will finish the investigation and it will result in serious charges against major players: 54%
What Do You Say?
Despite his claims that he’s “a very stable genius,” do you believe Donald Trump is mentally fit to hold the office of President of the United States? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.
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SHEPHERD EXPRESS
NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK
Retribution and Revenge in the Wisconsin John Doe ::BY MARY BOTTARI
T
he long-running criminal investigation into whether or not Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and deep-pocketed dark money groups illegally coordinated the expenditure of some $30 million to win the 2012 recall elections should be old news by now. But the Wisconsin GOP is keeping it alive by undertaking a criminal investigation of a 2016 leak of documents to The Guardian newspaper—famous for its publication of the Edward Snowden revelations and the Panama Papers. In December, Attorney General Brad Schimel released a report on his findings. He failed to identify the leaker and claimed that potentially “hundreds” had access to material that was subject to “systematic and pervasive mishandling.” Nevertheless, Schimel decided to recommend contempt charges be brought against a list of investigators, including Republican Special Prosecutor Francis Schmitz, for allegedly mishandling evidence. No sooner was the report released than it began to fall apart. The new Ethics Commission slammed the document for falsely claiming it failed to cooperate, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel demanded a correction for an unwarranted and false attack on the wife of a key John Doe reporter, and the John Doe judge overseeing the report was forced to step down after the discovery of past partisan tweets. But the clown car really ran off the rails when the Wisconsin State Journal reported Schimel himself broke the law by disclosing names and details of a closed ethics investigation he misleadingly labeled “John Doe III.” The utter incompetence—leaking names in the middle of a leak investigation—prompted the John Doe judge who agreed to unseal the report to say that if he faced charges related to the matter, “I would have to plead guilty.” The Capital Times called for Schimel’s resignation, charging that “his extreme partisanship has caused him to abandon basic legal standards.”
See No Evil: Schimel Ignores ‘Guardian’ Findings
Lost in the brouhaha are some underlying fundamentals. Schimel’s report exculpates Walker and the dark money groups with the astounding claim: “No piece of John Doe II or III evidence reviewed by DOJ suggests illegal or unethical conduct.” The lengthy Guardian report detailed the ugly story of one billionaire dark money donor, lead pigment manufacturer Harold Simmons, who was being sued by a group of children poisoned by lead paint. After Simmons gave $750,000 in personal and corporate checks to Wisconsin Club for Growth to defend Walker and state senators against recall, the GOP snuck a motion SHEPHERD EXPRESS
into a giant budget bill nullifying the lawsuits against him. (The legislature had rejected this same change to the law a year earlier, but after the checks flowed in the measure was passed and signed by Walker.) If corporations are now allowed to give secret campaign contributions to get lawsuits against them thrown out of court, perhaps the attorney general should issue a price list so that the public can avail themselves of this nifty service. In the face of evidence of coordination between Walker’s campaign and outside groups— including weekly meetings with the Republican Governors Association which had sworn an oath not to coordinate—the Wisconsin Supreme Court cooked up a novel interpretation of the state’s anti-coordination policy in order to let Walker’s crew off the hook. That ruling flew in the face of the facts and multiple U.S. Supreme Court decisions and remains a national outlier today. As it turns out, the same groups that secretly helped Walker had raised $10 million for four of the Wisconsin Supreme Court justices signing the controversial decision to end the John Doe investigation, and two justices asked to recuse in the case may have benefited from similar coordination.
er reason the Wisconsin GOP wants to keep this story of “prosecutorial abuse” alive: It may become “Exhibit A” in a national effort to discredit President Donald Trump’s special investigator and former FBI chief Robert S. Mueller. Wisconsin’s dark money man, Eric O’Keefe, is already peddling this line on radio, as is U.S. Senate hopeful Leah Vukmir in the pages of the Wall Street Journal. A resolute defender of secret money in politics, O’Keefe leaked subpoenas to the Journal editorial board and admitted to violating the John Doe secrecy order “in some form every day.” Now, O’Keefe is reading from a sealed grand jury subpoena from the Mueller investigation on air. “The FBI was heavily involved in John Doe 1… and the director of the FBI during John Doe 1 was Robert S. Mueller III,” says O’Keefe (neglecting to mention that six Walker aides and associates were successfully prosecuted in that probe). “The Mueller investigation looks like another attempt by what might be called the ‘administrative state’ or the ‘deep state’ to overturn the election and remove Trump from office,” he declares. It is a strange, strange world indeed when powerful Republicans fight to undermine Republican prosecutors attempting to uphold the rule of law. Mary Bottari is deputy director of the Center for Media and Democracy and is a recipient of the Hillman Prize for Investigative Journalism. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n
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Hear No Evil: Extraordinary Efforts to Suppress Evidence
No wonder the Court ordered all materials returned at the behest of the dark money groups. No wonder John Doe Judge Gregory A. Peterson ordered prosecutors to stop looking at any evidence—unconscionably handicapping the lawyers appealing his order. No wonder the GOP completely rewrote 40 years of clean election laws to retroactively legalize much of the behavior in question and to destroy the independent Government Accountability Board (GAB). No wonder Attorney General Schimel worked to collect up every last printed page, electronic file and dust bunny in the basement of the former GAB. Now the people that Schimel condemns do not have access to a shred of information to defend themselves. While Schimel named nine people he thought might be involved in the leaks, Republican politicians have decided to go after a different group of people altogether, calling for the resignation of the head of the new elections commission and the ethics board in an absolute abuse of power.
Speak No Evil: Wisconsin’s Dark Money Man Attacks Trump Special Counsel
Senate Minority Leader Jennifer Shilling accused Republicans of “rewriting the history of their own political scandals.” But there is anothJ A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 13
::DININGOUT
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FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK
Cubano Panini from La Finca
La Finca Gives the South Shore Its Coffee Fix
A sip of La Finca’s Café Oaxaca blend reveals a medium-bodied coffee that is delicate, with a light acidity that pairs well with most food and bakery. Four coffee blends, which include one decaf (sourced from Anodyne), are available by the cup or whole beans by the pound. If you’ve had your coffee fix for the day, try the Mexican hot chocolate ($2.75 for an eight-ounce serving), a rich cocoa with cinnamon and a tease of cayenne pepper that flirts between soothing and slightly dangerous. Seven espresso choices include macchiato and cortado. Multiple drink specialties on the menu include iced coco, latte horchata, chai latte, fruit smoothies and Rishi tea. Bottled sodas and seltzer water are also available. Breakfast croissant sandwiches and breakfast burritos come in egg and cheese or with meat. Customers can choose from savory lunch items like quesadillas— ::BY SHEILA JULSON cheese; veggie with cheese, black bean, corn and bell peppers; or sincronizada, with cheese and ham. There’s also the Cubano Panini with ham, Swiss cheese, picklthough Bay View has an abundance of coffee shops, the java slingles and mustard, or a grilled cheese Panini. The Panini sandwiches are served with ers become scarce along the South Shore once you get into the firstchips, and the burritos are served a choice of a fruit cup or chips. ring suburbs. However, La Finca Coffee House, which opened this Rotating specials include a vegetarian standout, mollete ($5.99), a Mexican openpast October in St. Francis in a space that originally housed FIXX, faced sandwich with melted Monterrey Jack cheese and black beans, served on a and recently Jacob’s Well, is filling the void with a Mexican-inspired crusty bolillo roll and topped with a generous portion of house-made pico de gallo. menu of coffee drinks, hot food and bakery. The building is just Sour cream is served on the side. Warning: Use the accompanying fork, because off of Lake Drive and faces Lake Michigan, providing an aesthetic this hearty sandwich cannot be picked up without making a delightful mess. view. Inside, the cocoa-toned walls, wood tables and soothing Fresh salads, fruit cups and yogurt parfait round out grab-and-go options. Since world sounds from the stereo give a no coffee shop is complete without bakery, La Finca makes warm yet sophisticated ambiance. cookies, macarons and chocolate coconut cups on site, and Finca is Spanish for “estate,” specifithey offer empanadas in several flavors made by a local La Finca Coffee House cally rural or agricultural land. Sisters bakery; more bakery offerings will become available as La 3558 E. Sivyer Ave., St. Francis Finca grows. Janeth and Lizath Zorrilla, owners of La Finca, source the beans for 414-394-0722 | $-$$ La Finca is supportive of local artists and showcases the coffee from their grandfahandmade and fair trade pottery, garments and paintings lafinca.cafe ther’s coffee farm in Oaxaca, for purchase. They also promoted National Novel Writing Handicapped Access: Yes México. Its Facebook page Month (NaNoWriMo) this past November by letting authors CC proudly states that, “Every step drop off excerpts of their work at the shop for others to Hours: M 6:30 a.m.-3 p.m., of the cultivation and harvesting process is family operated, read. Although La Finca is only a couple of months old, it’s Tu-F 6:30 a.m.-8 p.m., and it continues that way when you get your cup of coffee off to a solid start and destined to be an asset to the South here in Wisconsin throughout the day.” Shore community. Sa-Su 8 a.m.-6 p.m.
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SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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DININGOUT::EAT/DRINK
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Healthy, Affordable Foods at Pete’s Fruit Market ::BY SHEILA JULSON
M
ilwaukee’s near South Side has seen fresh produce markets come and go over the last few decades. Then along came Pete Tsitiridis, who in 1992 started Pete’s Fruit Market as an open-air fruit and vegetable stand on Union Street, off 17th and Greenfield. The stand eventually became a permanent grocery store serving a diverse neighborhood that had few healthful food options. This past September, Pete’s, known for quality yet affordable produce, opened a second location at 2323 N. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. Pete’s originally formed in 1976 in Waukegan, Ill., said Pete’s daughter-in-law, Anne Marie Tsitiridis. She’s married to Pete’s son, Theodore, and Pete’s kids are involved with store operations. Pete has an engineering background but always had an entrepreneurial spirit, and he started Pete’s Fruit Market’s Waukegan store to make money when architectural engineering work was slow. He sold the Waukegan location before opening in Milwaukee. For years, Pete’s sought a site for a second location, and eventually a unique opportunity arose. A building on MLK Drive that formerly housed a Walgreen’s and a Time Warner Cable store was set to have Dollar Tree move in. The corporate discount chain got as far as placing product on the shelves, but residents, who were initially promised a grocery store in the space,
protested. Through a resistance spearheaded by District 6 Ald. Milele Coggs, Dollar Tree was denied a food license by the Common Council, and never opened. SH Acquisition LLC, an affiliate of the Milwaukee Economic Development Corporation, bought the property. Coggs approached Pete’s about opening in the space, Anne Marie said, because they’d be a good fit for the community. “Our residents have spoken out about wanting a new market and we are thrilled to make that a reality. Pete’s Fruit Market allows our residents to buy nutritious and healthy food to feed their families, which will have a tremendous impact as we continue working to attract other new businesses to the neighborhood and eliminate health disparities,” Coggs stated in a Sept. 8, 2017 press release. Both Pete’s locations carry a colorful canvas of fruits and vegetables, with slight adjustments to suit the demographics of each neighborhood. Some produce items are displayed for purchase in baskets, arranged farmers market-style. The visually appealing produce departments make healthy eating enticing, and so do Pete’s prices— a sales flier advertising Thanksgiving holiday specials boasted jumbo sweet potatoes for 39 cents per pound, four lemons for $1, and Honeycrisp apples for $1.99 a bag. “People like the layout and find it a good way to buy fruits and vegetables on a budget,” said Anne Marie. Pete’s obtains much of its produce from a marketplace in Illinois, as well as from a Kenosha farm. They also source from other local farms when possible. The new location has a meat and butcher counter with smoked meats, and an array of fish, including catfish. Anne Marie noted that although the North Side store presently lacks a deli like the one found at the South Side store, plans are in the works to add one. Both stores carry shelf-stable groceries and pantry staples. Pete’s also offers catering, party trays and gift baskets. Pete’s also partners with nonprofits. They donated vacant land near the Union Street store to UW-Extension and CORE El Centro to use for urban agriculture and community education. For more information, visit petesfruitmarket. com. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::SPORTS
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What is Next for the Packers? ::BY PAUL NOONAN
T
he Packers leave 2017 with nothing but uncertainty. With the exception of Mike McCarthy, nearly the entire coaching staff and front office has turned over with former Director of Player Personnel Brian Gutekunst taking over for Ted Thompson as the general manager. McCarthy also brought back former offensive coordinator Joe Philbin, and, as of this writing, the defensive coordinator position remains vacant. This offseason figures to be an offseason like no other as the injury to Aaron Rodgers exposed major flaws within the team, and raised questions about the future viability of this roster. These are the Packers’ biggest flaws.
Wide Receiver This is the elephant in the room. Rodgers hides so many flaws on offense and it’s easy to simply gloss over the skill positions and assume that everything will be OK, but as it turns out the Packers receiving corps isn’t even average. Jordy Nelson was the worst receiver in the league by far when catching passes from Brett Hundley. Hundley is partially responsible for that, but both Davante Adams and Randall Cobb not only avoided similar declines, they actually improved slightly on the numbers they produced with Rodgers. Rodgers will be back and it’s possible that Nelson’s numbers will return with him, but it’s clear that he’s no longer a credible outside threat. When running routes for Hundley he was unable to quickly explode up the field or press corners for extra yards after the catch. Cobb is still useful, but he truly excels when combined with above-average outside receivers. Geronimo Allison proved to be “just a guy” while Trevor Davis had a baffling season, displaying almost no development. Jeff Janis is a special teams ace, but that is all. In 2015 the entire offense fell apart when Nelson blew out his ACL. Even with prime Rodgers, the Packers cannot function without good outside players, and with only Adams currently filling that role, they are extremely vulnerable.
Edge Rusher Nick Perry and Clay Matthews put together
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decent seasons on paper recording 7, and 7.5 sacks respectively, but their actual play left quite a bit to be desired. Perry padded his sack stats with big games against Seattle’s terrible offensive line, and a three-sack effort against the Mike Glennon-led Bears, but against any competent offensive line he was a non-factor. Matthews was better, but he is most useful moving around the formation to create mismatches, and to get the most out of his speed. The secondary shoulders much of the blame of the last two seasons, and injuries there have hurt, but the fundamental problem on defense is a pass rush that does not speed up the internal clocks of opposing quarterbacks. Until the new regime fixes this, the old problems will persist.
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Safety I have no idea what happened to Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, but he’s now been one of the league’s worst safeties for a season and a half. Some of this may be scheme-related as the unforgivable sin of the Dom Capers defense is letting receivers get by the last line of defense, but the practical reality is that no one guards more empty space than Clinton-Dix, no one breaks on the ball with less aggression than Clinton-Dix, and you could make a feature film-length movie of Clinton-Dix running up to players who have gained 20-plus yards and fallen down in front of him of their own accord. Clinton-Dix is still young and a new coordinator may do him some good, but that is hardly a sure thing. A strong safety instills confidence in the corners, and allows them to execute without second-guessing whether or not the safety will be where he is supposed to be. Morgan Burnett is a free agent and no sure bet to return to the team. If he doesn’t this position group is a disaster.
Tight End Martellus Bennett was supposed to solidify the position. Instead Bennett was a disaster on and off the field, and Lance Kendricks and Richard Rodgers were adequate at best. A true pass-catching tight end is essential to the offense, and even though Jared Cook is a belowaverage player, his field-stretching speed was missed.
Quarterback Brett Hundley showed himself to be inferior to the average veteran retread while simultaneously destroying any trade value, and Joe Callahan lacks the physical tools to play the position at the highest level. Aaron Rodgers will be entering his age 35 season in 2018, and as he ages, having a competent backup becomes more important. The team should either invest a draft pick in a new development project as they did with Hundley, or pay for someone in free agency. Next week, I will detail the Packers greatest strengths.
J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 17
::A&E
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A ‘Miraculous Journey’ of Love and Friendship
The Miraculous Artists and Artistry
First Stage brings Edward Tulane to Milwaukee
With spare, evocative prose and elegant pacing, DiCamillo’s storytelling is both accessible and engaging for adult and child readers alike. This makes The Miraculous Journey a perfect candidate for theatrical adaptation and, more to the point, for presentation at Milwaukee’s premier theater for all ages, First Stage. The company rings in 2018 with Dwayne Hartford’s adaptation of the beloved tale, and audiences can look forward to a musically rich performance that’s truly intended for the whole family. Director John Maclay says of the production, “Incredible new music and heightened theatricality will underscore Edward’s spectacular adventure—as we First Stage see America unfold through the years The Miraculous of this most charming and endearing Journey of porcelain rabbit.” Asked to expand Edward Tulane on the play’s performance style, he shares, “It’s theatrical in the sense Todd Wehr Theater that it could only exist in the theJan. 12 - Feb. 11 ater. There are six actors playing a couple dozen parts with changes in character at times happening instantly on stage. The actors also double as musicians, playing all of the music for the show when not individually in a scene. Our central character is a china rabbit, not a puppet. He neither moves nor talks, but Matt Daniels gives voice to his thoughts.” As is frequently the case in First Stage’s productions, music will play a central role. Spanning several decades of American history beginning with the Great Depression, First Stage’s Miraculous Journey features new compositions in the style of American folk music by Joe Cerqua. The adult actors will play instruments including guitar, piano and accordion.
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SHEPHERD STAFF
::BY SELENA MILEWSKI nce, in a house on Egypt Street, there lived a rabbit who was made almost entirely of china … The rabbit’s name was Edward Tulane … Edward’s mistress was a ten-year-old, dark-haired girl named Abilene Tulane, who thought almost as highly of Edward as Edward thought of himself.” So begins Newberry Award-winning author Kate DiCamillo’s 2006 novel, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. The story tracks the adventures of the sentient though immobile toy rabbit from his privileged beginnings as Abilene’s treasured companion, to a stint at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, and through multiple owners and decades on his quest to return to his mistress. Over the course of this odyssey, Edward must confront the vanity and self-absorption that originally define him to learn that love and friendship are the only things that will help him find his way home.
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Naturally, this exciting First Stage premiere features a stunning, multi-generational ensemble of local talent. Maclay has worked with First Stage since 2000, filling almost every role imaginable including directing the Young Company and, recently, becoming director of artistic development. Here, he directs previous collaborators and celebrated Milwaukee actors Matt Daniels (as The Musician) and Karen Estrada (as The Woman). Both have numerous previous credits with the company; the latter, in fact, made her First Stage debut in eighth grade. Of these two, Maclay says, “I’ve worked with them before on several projects and both are terrifically versatile and as adept at finding the humor of a moment as they are dropping into the emotional depth of a moment. But the entire cast is pretty dreamy.” The adult cast likewise features Brian Keys (The Man), Kat Wodtke (The Traveler); and Brandon Haut, Corrie Riedl and Ibraheem Farmer as understudies. Young performers Kamani Graham, Marianna Malinkine, Bradley Nowacek and Bryn Dresselhuys are double cast in the roles of Boy and Girl. A story that covers as many locations and time periods as Miraculous Journey requires a crack design team as well. Darryl Harris’ costumes are made to facilitate manageable transitions for the elaborate multiple casting: Each actor has a base look and adds just one or two pieces to create their many separate characters. “Scenic designer Brandon Kirkham and I talked early in the process about wanting to create a new location with as few physical pieces as possible,” Maclay says. “We have a mostly bare wooden stage and each new location has a single scenic piece to suggest and establish location and period.” Maclay also wanted to highlight Edward’s ongoing relationship with stellar constellations. To wit, he says, “Brandon and Lighting Designer Nick Belley were tasked with bringing a full sky of stars to life in our space. Their solution is pretty breathtaking.” Milwaukee is already abuzz with anticipation for the production, as evidenced by strong media coverage and markedly high name recognition for the source material. Asked what he most hopes to achieve through First Stage’s Miraculous Journey, Maclay says simply, “All I ever hope to achieve with any production is to tell a good story. And this is one of my favorites. It’s a great story and it’s really come to life in a beautiful way.” The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane runs Jan. 12-Feb. 11 at the Todd Wehr Theater in the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts, 929 N. Water St. For tickets, call 414-2737206 or visit firststage.org.
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SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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JOSH RICHARDSON
::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE FRIDAY, JAN. 12 The Cult of Lip w/ Slow Walker and Calliope @ Company Brewing, 10 p.m.
The Mike Benign Compulsion and Eagle Trace @ Anodyne Coffee, 8 p.m.
Few Milwaukee bands capture the spirit of ’80s college rock more deftly than The Mike Benign Compulsion, a group whose witty, tuneful guitar-pop recalls the heyday of artists like R.E.M., The Replacements and Matthew Sweet. At this show, the group is joined by a Milwaukee alternative band from a younger generation of local musicians: Eagle Trace, who last month released an electrifying new EP that draws from some of the more charged modern rock sounds of the ’90s and ’00s, Rivals. Its lead single “Haywire” has received regular rotation on Radio Milwaukee.
SATURDAY, JAN. 13 Criss Angel @ The Riverside Theater, 8 p.m.
Before he found international fame with his extreme brand of magic, Criss Angel fronted an industrial band, and he brings a good dose of rock-star cockiness to his various stage and television shows, which according to one astonishing Bloomberg report have netted him as much as $70 million a year. For this appearance, a show billed “The Mindfreak Unplugged,” Angel will forgo the big-budget mega stunts he’s best known for and focus on smaller-scale illusions and street magic.
Hassles ft. Terrie Ex, Ken Vandermark, Paal Nilssen-Love and Jon Rune Strøm @ Sugar Maple, 8 p.m.
A staple of the Chicago jazz and experimental music scenes (and the Milwaukee jazz scene, through sheer proximity), Ken Vandermark is the rare artist who never seems to repeat himself. Shuffling between tenor and baritone saxophones and the clarinet, the composer has juggled countless projects over the years, including the Free Fall Trio, Territory Band and, until 2010, The Vandermark 5, in addition to dozens of duets and collaborations. This year he’s dedicating himself to yet another new ensemble: Hassles, featuring guitarist Terrie Ex and drummer Paal-Nilssen-Love, one of Vandermark’s go-to collaborators. Their brand of free-jazz often flirts with Tropicalia and post-punk. 20 | J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8
Big Head Todd and the Monsters
SUNDAY, JAN. 14
Big Head Todd and the Monsters w/ Ronnie Baker Brooks @ The Pabst Theater, 7:30 p.m.
Like the Spin Doctors and Rusted Root, Big Head Todd and the Monsters was a jam band before there was an organized jam scene. Where younger jam bands built their following on the road, then, Big Head Todd and the Monsters did through radio play. The band still retains a loyal following from their time in the spotlight, and their early ’90s hits “Bittersweet” and “Broken Hearted Savior” continue to draw faithful old fans to their shows. The band has dabbled in the blues on recent albums, including their 2011 covers record, 100 Years of Robert Johnson, which featured contributions from blues greats like B.B. King, Hubert Sumlin and “Honeyboy” Edwards, but their latest album, New World Arisin’ returns them to sunny, jammy pop.
MONDAY, JAN. 15
“Our Children, Our Future” @ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center, noon
Milwaukee’s Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center (1531 W. Vliet St.) celebrates Martin Luther King Day with a program featuring dance, music and spoken word, as well as guest speaker Nicole Brookshire, director of the newly created Milwaukee County Office on AfricanAmerican Affairs. The office was created to develop policies that address the county’s racial inequities. After the program, there will be an open house and teen dance party from 6 to 9 p.m. in the community center’s gym.
COURTESY OF JACKIE VENSON
With their messy, immediate blend of ’80s underground rock The Cult of Lip and murky shoegaze, Minneapolis rockers The Cult of Lip imagine what My Bloody Valentine might have sounded like if they didn’t sweat the details too much. The group released the short but captivating EP Your Feedback last spring through the label Rare Plant. The group is joined at this show by two of Milwaukee’s most perennially underrated psych-rock bands, Slow Walker and Calliope, on a bill that’ll double as a 30th birthday celebration for Calliope’s Victor Buell.
Jackie Venson
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 17 Jackie Venson w/ Shonn Hinton @ Cactus Club, 7:30 p.m.
With her effortlessly smooth hybrid of soul, blues and rock, Jackie Venson can’t help but recall another Austin-based singer/guitarist who easily shifts between those genres, Gary Clark Jr. She brought a light touch to the songs of her 2014 debut album The Light in Me, but her 2017 EP Transcends put her assertive guitar front and center. She’s supported on this bill by Milwaukee’s Shonn Hinton, whose breezy blues-rock draws from the sunny spirit of The Isley Brothers. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::PERFORMINGARTSWEEK THEATRE
MORE TO DO
Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike
Constellations
Vanya and Sonia are brother and adopted sister living fairly uneventful lives—both are single and they live together. Their sister, Masha, owns the house but doesn’t live with them. When she arrives for a rare visit toting a much younger new boyfriend (Spike), the always-present family dysfunction gets turned up by several notches. Several themes in the play are derived from the prolific and legendary Russian author and playwright Anton Chekhov—including the names of the three siblings, a cherry orchard setting and the shaky future of an ancestral family home. Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike is a comedic play by Christopher Durang that premiered in New Jersey in September 2012 and went on to win the 2013 Tony Award for Best Play after a run on Broadway. Starring Bill Vought, Tina Paukstelis, Amy Hanson and Matt Rangel in the respective eponymous roles, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike is 2018’s first show by the Racine Theatre Guild. (John Jahn) Jan. 12-28 at the Racine Theatre Guild, 2519 Northwestern Ave. For tickets, call 262-633-4218 or visit racinetheatre.org.
All-In Productions here presents what they describe as “a spellbinding romantic journey” by Nick Payne that “begins with a simple encounter.” However, Constellations then moves inexorably into the realm of the mysterious and otherworldly, “delving into the infinite possibilities of their relationship and raising questions about the difference between choice and destiny.” Jan. 12-20 at the Tenth Street Theatre, 628 N. 10th St. For tickets, visit allin-mke.com.
A Year with Frog and Toad Based on Arnold Lobel’s charmingly written and illustrated children’s stories, A Year with Frog and Toad premiered in 2002 as a musical play with music by Robert Reale and book and lyrics by Willie Reale. The plot follows two unlikely amphibian pals—a jovial frog and a somewhat dour toad—as they both awaken from winter hibernation and embark upon a new year with their fellow woodland critters. The delightful, family friendly and intimate musical is a staple of community production companies nationwide. Speaking to marquettewire.org about the university’s upcoming production of A Year with Frog and Toad, Marquette Theatre Director Jamie Cheatham explained, “Our theater for young audiences show is a push-and-pull story about a close friendship between a friendly frog and a crazy toad. They have differences that make their friendship work.” (John Jahn) Jan. 14-28 at Helfaer Theatre, 1304 W. Clybourn St. For tickets, call 414-288-7504 or visit marquette.edu.
MUSIC
Oedipus Rex A once glorious city-state, Thebes, has seen a plague sweep through its citizenry who are increasingly desperate for a savior. Into those sandals steps young Oedipus, and an amazing journey full of gods and men ensues. The tale is timeless; it all began with ancient Greek mythology, from which emerged Sophocles’ play, an operatic oratorio by Igor Stravinsky and feature films from 1957 and 1967. Jan. 12-20 by Voices Found Repertory performing at the Arcade Theatre of the Underground Collaborative, 161 W. Wisconsin Ave. For tickets, visit voicesfoundrep.com or brownpapertickets.com.
“Transcendent Voyage”
(title of show)
Milwaukee Musaik’s next concert’s title refers to voyages of the human mind that, when deeply felt and profoundly experienced, can lead to a feeling of transcendence. An octet of instrumentalists—performing on violins, viola, cello, flute, English horn, clarinet and harp— will help transport their audience members into the conceptual voyages of five different composers from far and wide and from very different eras of music. The most “standard” work on the program is the Trio Sonata in A Minor for Flute, Violin and Continuo by Georg Philipp Telemann (1681-1767)—the sounds and musical style of which will, at the very least, transcend time by conjuring the Baroque. There’s also Rêverie Orientale for Clarinet and String Quartet (1886) by Alexander Glazunov, which recalls the exotic nature of the East. More contemporary works scheduled are In Memoriam (1916) by Arnold Bax, Angels in Flight (1987) by Marjan Mozetich and Visions and Miracles (1997) by Christopher Theofanidis. (John Jahn) Monday, Jan. 15, at Helen Bader Hall of the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music, 1584 N. Prospect Ave. For tickets, visit milwaukeemusaik.org.
No, we did not forget to enter the show’s title before going to press; (title of show) is the title of the show! Two fraught writers labor to meet a rapidly approaching deadline for submissions to a new musical theater festival. It’s essentially an anxious, creative journey that begins with just the pair of writers but eventually includes the support and help of several of their friends as well. (title of show), a veritable love letter to the whole genre of American musical theater, received a 2009 Tony Award nomination for Best Book of a Musical. Jan. 11-20 by Greendale Community Theatre in the Henry Ross Auditorium of Greendale High School, 6801 Southway. For tickets, call 414-817-7600 or visit greendaletheater.org.
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George Philipp Telemann
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A&E::FILM [HOME MOVIES/OUT ON DIGITAL] n Long Time Running
Bands break up when their members can’t stand each other anymore— but brain cancer? Tragedy struck one of Canada’s most popular rock bands of the last quarter century, The Tragically Hip, when singer Gord Downie was diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. The band is in a reflective mood throughout the making of Long Time Running, a documentary on post-diagnosis concerts and—more interestingly—the painful decisions made in the face of no good options.
n The Executioner’s Song
Norman Mailer wrote the screenplay based on his book, The Executioner’s Song, a non-fiction account of a notorious convicted killer, Gary Gilmore, who demanded the death penalty. Although not without a reflective side, Gilmore was a violent man after spending much of his life in prison. Odds were stacked against him yet the society he returned to after prison also looks badly broken. Tommy Lee Jones plays Gilmore like a barely caged animal. Rosanna Arquette costars.
n My Entire High School Sinking into the Sea
Writer-director Dash Shaw bucks the trend in animation toward realism with his aggressively drawn, defiantly cartoony My Entire High School Sinking into the Sea. Protagonist Dash (voiced by Jason Schwartzman) is a high school journalist so loose with facts that no one believes his exposé on his school’s unsafe construction. One assumes the story is based on the animator’s own experiences with bullies, nasty girls and corrupt administrators. Also heard are Susan Sarandon and Reggie Watts.
n The Challenge
Falconry, the sport of kings, persists on the Arabian Peninsula. The documentary by Italian director Yuri Ancarani shows present-day desert aristocrats as they hunt with their regal avian predators. Granted unusual access to Quatar’s upper class, Ancarani tags along as they travel their country’s bleak rocky terrain, under a dome of endless sky, dressed in traditional white robes while driving expensive cars. There is little dialogue. Most of The Challenge is visual, sometimes stunningly so.
n Heat and Dust
Greta Scacchi is perfect as Olivia, newly arrived wife of a British official in 1920s India. Julie Christie plays Anne, her 1980s descendent, in India to reconstruct Olivia’s story. This lush 1983 Merchant Ivory production slips easily between eras in depicting the ceremonious distance and intimacy between Indians and Brits. Olivia is a free spirit among her stodgy countrymen and her actions give rise to scandal. The Blu-ray includes a second disc with many extras. —David Luhrssen
[FILM CLIPS] The Commuter PG-13
Liam Neeson reprises the role of elder statesman turned reluctant action hero. He’s ex-cop Michael MacCauley, riding a Manhattan commuter train when a mysterious woman (Vera Farmiga), threatens to kill MacCauley’s wife and son, unless he learns the identity of the passenger who intends to blow up the train. Highly motivated, MacCauley frets and kickboxes his way through potential suspects and obstacles alike, during a ride that marks Neeson’s fourth collaboration with B-movie master, director Jaume ColletSerra. (Lisa Miller)
I, Tonya R
She was known in figure skating as “Trashy Tonya” before achieving infamy by proving the worst fears of the skating elite when she was implicated in an assault on her rival, Nancy Kerrigan. Based on “irony free, wildly contradictory” real-life interviews with Tonya Harding and her confederates, I, Tonya satirizes the truck stop subculture that gave rise to her destructive class envy and the idiocy of her family and friends. The film manages sympathy for Harding, pushed into skating by her abusive mother and pushed around by her abusive husband. Sharply written, brilliantly edited, funny and occasionally heartbreaking, I, Tonya is nicely photographed with superb acting all around, led by Margot Robbie has Harding, Sebastian Stan as her husband and Allison Jannye as her mother. (David Luhrssen)
Paddington 2 PG
Marmalade-loving Paddington bear attempts to catch a thief, but the diminutive ursine is wrongly sent to prison instead. Paddy’s adoptive London parents (voiced by Hugh Bonneville and Sally Hawkins) seek to secure Paddington’s release. Writer-director
Paul King captures the spirit of Michael Bond’s best-selling kids books, thanks in part to a wistful Ben Whishaw, returning as the young bear. Hugh Grant winningly portrays a preening, washed-up actor relegated to pet food commercials. As before, Paddington and other bears, are animated characters blended into frame with live action humans. Infused with comedy, heart and a “beary” sweet soul, this film checks all the family friendly boxes. (L.M.)
The Post PG-13
Meryl Streep’s Katharine Graham needs her helmet hair for protection in this film based upon actual events from 1971. As the new publisher of the Washington Post, Graham wrestles with whether to publish the leaked Pentagon Papers, knowing the Nixon administration will be out for her blood. Tom Hanks appears as Graham’s editor, Ben Bradlee, urging her to trust the First Amendment. Director Steven Spielberg told the Hollywood Reporter, “I realized this was the only year to make this film.” Though pushing his agenda, the director expertly paces the action, drawing us in via fervent debate, and good old-fashioned suspense. (L.M.)
Proud Mary R
Resembling the plot of the 1980 film Gloria, hit woman Mary (Taraji P. Henson) is saddled with the orphaned young son of a man she has just killed. She’ll have to outsmart the mob, especially her former boss, in order to save the boy. Could be that 11th-hour editing is preventing the studio from divulging the film’s runtime. After playing a math genius in Hidden Figures, is Henson taking two steps back to portray a Saturday matinee assassin? Could be the role is in her comfort zone since Henson played a similar character in 2006’s Smokin’ Aces, or it could be that a paycheck is a paycheck is a paycheck. (L.M.)
Sponsored by
THE MIRACULOUS JOURNEY OF EDWARD TULANE Adapted for the stage by Dwayne Hartford Based on the book: “The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane” Text © 2006 by Kate DiCamillo Originally published by Candlewick Press Used with the permission of Pippin Properties, Inc. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane was originally commissioned, developed, and produced at Childsplay in Tempe, Arizona. David Saar, Artistic Director. Steve Martin, Managing Director.
January 12_ February 11, 2018 Tickets Start at
15
$
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S U G G E S T E D F O R FA M I L I E S W I T H YO U N G PE O PL E AG E S 716 +
JAN 12 - 28
Written by Christopher Durang
www. fir ststage .org 2519 Northwestern Ave. Racine, WI 53404
262.633.4218
RACINETHEATRE.ORG SHEPHERD EXPRESS
SPONSORED BY
A&E::VISUALART
Tune in at 8 a.m. every Wednesday for “Arts Express”
VISUALART|REVIEW
The Medium Becomes the Message at Var Gallery’s ‘Art + Tech’ ::BY KAT KNEEVERS
T
he bare LED light bulbs hanging from black cords are surprisingly architectural, like a stranded wall waiting for light. The microphone on a stand in front of them is a performance waiting to happen. The performance comes from the visitor taking up the invitation of the piece’s title, shout. The installation by Maksym Prykhodko, on view at Var Gallery in the “Art + Tech” exhibition, is indeed waiting for you. If you’re feeling shy, tapping on the microphone
will wake things up as lights turn on randomly, but the greater the volume, the greater the energy and light. So go ahead, give it a shout. Several pieces have an audio presence in this show, including noisemakers by Pete Prodoehl. The contraptions are on pedestals or hung on the walls with buttons to press and knobs to twirl. They emanate analog sounds with delightfully old-school space age tones. What makes it tick? We won’t get into those nuts and bolts, but the moments of our actions having an effect on something is a useful premise to keep in mind. The interactive nature is an effort to make us active participants in the art, and maybe pique our imagination into the unseen ways things work. Interactivity is only a segment of “Art + Tech,” however. It is a pleasure to see pieces by Jessica MeuninckGanger and Nathaniel Stern as they have a longstanding collaboration producing videos with an overlay of drawings. Some have a quintessentially Milwaukee flair, like Meditation, a view of a bowling alley. The drawn elements remind us of more discreet time markers, like pulling out a stop-motion frame that gets lost in the shuffle. Artists like Bryan Cera use 3D printing to create ceramics and suggest new ways of working in portraiture, while Alycia M. Griesi’s photographic prints, Malfunctions, in which figures are overlaid and disjoined like a nascent digital Cubism, refocus ideas about fluidity and invention of form. “Art + Tech” is about the work of 12 artists who fixate on methods and processes of creating art where the medium is integral to the message. Through Feb. 3 at Var Gallery, 643 S. Second St. Alycia Griesi, Malfunctions 01
VISUALART|PREVIEW
“Journals and Journeys”
MIAD’s ‘Humanly Possible’ Exhibit Finds Empathy in Art
Gallery 224’s new exhibition, opening Jan. 12, gathers work by seven Wisconsin artists whose work demonstrates the sort of self-reflective adventurousness developed through journaling about journeys. “Journals and Journeys” is accompanied by an extensive series of programs designed to assist the public in enhancing their own journaling activities. On Saturday, Jan. 27, Tori Tasch leads a workshop on simple yet effective image-transfer techniques to tell one’s story where words fail. On Saturday, Feb. 17, Lynne Bergschultz shares the secrets of creating one’s own journals through simple paper-folding techniques.
Gallery 224 | 224 E. Main St., Port Washington
::BY TYLER FRIEDMAN
O
ne can be forgiven for concluding that empathy is in short supply these days; since the ability to both understand and experience the emotions of another person demands identifying with the other as a human of equal dignity—not as a left-wing snowflake or a right-wing deplorable. “Humanly Possible: The Empathy Exhibition” at Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design finds 12 contemporary artists playing with the idea of empathy and inviting viewers to vicariously experience the world in new, unfamiliar ways. Works include photography and digital media works by Milwaukee artist and recent Mary L. Nohl Fellowship recipient Lois Bielefeld, who explores the power and complexity of gender identity. Senior Lecturer in UW-Milwaukee’s Peck School of the Arts Raoul Deal presents large-scale woodcuts that highlight the challenges of celebrating one’s Mexican heritage in a political environment that looks askance at immigrants. “Humanly Possible: The Empathy Exhibition” opens on Jan. 12. On Friday, Jan. 19, from 5-9 p.m., a public reception will be held during Winter Gallery Night. And on Thursday, Feb. 1, at 6 p.m., exhibiting artists will gather to discuss the power of the visual arts to elicit empathetic reactions. Lois Bielefeld, Ben SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Cal Kothrade: “What Lies Beneath”
North Point Lighthouse Museum 2650 N. Wahl Ave. Imagine donning a wetsuit and diving down 175 feet into the icy, dark depths. Internationally renowned, award-winning underwater photographer Cal Kothrade has made his name photographing historic shipwrecks in these extreme conditions. In his talk, “What Lies Beneath,” Kothrade will expound on the diving equipment, training, camera gear and skill sets necessary to make beautiful art beneath the surface of North America’s Great Lakes. The lecture takes place Wednesday, Jan. 17, from 7-8:30 p.m. at the North Point Lighthouse Museum. General admission is $10, seniors and students are $5 and members are free. J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 23
A&E::BOOKS BOOK |REVIEWS
BOOK |PREVIEW
Terrorism: A History (POLITY), BY RANDALL D. LAW
Although some Americans talk as if terrorism was invented in the run-up to 9/11, it has a long history. In sentence one of his thoughtprovoking history (in a new revised edition), Randall D. Law states that terrorism has been around as long as civilization, even if the means and ends have changed. The Birmingham-Southern College history professor wrestles with defining terrorism, a word that triggers an emotional reaction and whose definition is slippery. Terrorism is often described as violence against civilians. If so, then the U.S. is among the greatest terrorists for its air bombing campaigns in World War II (and beyond). Law examines terrorism as a set of tactics designed to harm the enemy and as political theater intended to broadcast a message. While some terrorists are mentally ill, terrorism usually results from rational, goal-oriented decisions by the actors involved. The word is virtually never used in praise but as a way “to frame debates, find scapegoats and vilify enemies.” (David Luhrssen)
Cartoon County
(FARRAR, STRAUS AND GIROUX), BY CULLEN MURPHY In many ways Cullen Murphy was a normal Eisenhower-era American kid— except that dad and all of dad’s friends were cartoonists, many of them drawing for the Sunday funnies. In his highly entertaining and endearing memoir, Murphy recounts life in 1950s Connecticut as a haven for cartoonists and illustrators for its proximity to the New York publishing mecca and its relaxing distance from the bustle. His father, John Cullen Murphy, was Norman Rockwell’s neighbor in boyhood and posed for some of that artist’s characteristic baseball-loving boys. As an adult, dad was responsible for drawing Prince Valiant and other strips. Chock-full of anecdotes on the publishing world, Cartoon County also includes many of John Cullen Murphy’s drawings and watercolors, showing how solidly grounded cartoonists of his era were in verities of art school training. (David Luhrssen)
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Sujata Massey’s Latest Suspenseful Bombay Mystery ::BY JENNI HERRICK
I
n the early 1920s, Bombay (today’s Mumbai) was a thriving multicultural melting pot under British rule. Like most places of its time, women in India had few rights and few avenues to success, which makes the brazen protagonist in mystery novelist Sujata Massey’s new book even more captivating. In The Widows of Malabar Hill, Oxford-educated young lawyer Perveen Mistry (who is modeled after a real woman) returns from abroad to work in her father’s law office. In a twist of fate, she finds herself at the center of a mystery involving an issue connected to women’s rights. After a wealthy local businessman dies and leaves his estate to his three wives, Perveen’s family law office is charged with executing the will. Perveen quickly raises suspicions after learning that all three widows signed over their inheritance to charity, and she embarks on a dangerous adventure to discover the secret lives of the three wives who live in purdah (total seclusion and separated from society). This exciting and suspenseful story, which is the first in a three-part Perveen Mistry series, features Massey’s literary strength in dynamic character development and lyrical prose. Massey is the bestselling author of numerous books of historical and mystery fiction set in Asia, including the Agatha and Macavity award-winning Rei Shimura novels. She will speak at the Lynden Sculpture Gardens at 2 p.m. on Saturday, Jan. 13 in a ticketed event cosponsored by Boswell Book Company. Visit lyndensculpturegarden.org/sujatamassey or call 414-446-8794 for more info. Sujata Massey
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A&E::OFFTHECUFF
The YMCA Reexamines its Role in Milwaukee Off the Cuff with Carrie Wall ::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI
C
arrie Wall plans to end her career where she began it: at the Milwaukee YMCA, where she first began working 32 years ago. “I wasn’t planning on staying there,” says Wall, who continued working there for two decades. “It was just a part-time job while my littlest one was in kindergarten, but that’s the great thing about the YMCA: It helps people.” After positions with the Y in Chicago and Madison, Wall returned to Milwaukee to serve as the YMCA of Metropolitan Milwaukee’s president and CEO this summer. She takes the reins after a tumultuous period that saw the organization undergoing bankruptcy in 2014 and selling some of its suburban branches to surrounding YMCAs. The Milwaukee YMCA now has a smaller footprint, Wall says, but also a renewed focus. “This happened during all the great reinvestments that we’ve seen going on in the City of Milwaukee and Downtown Milwaukee,” she says. “Everybody’s trying to get engaged and trying to figure out how we’re going to make sure that Milwaukee is a thriving community, and the Y wants to be part of that.” You mention that Milwaukee is experiencing a revitalization. What role does the YMCA hope to play in that? I will tell you why we don’t have the vision really clear yet—we’re still going through a strategic planning process—but I do know the pieces that we’re going to focus on, and here are a couple of them: Number one is early childhood education. We have to be part of the solution for what happens to children 0 to 5, because we serve so many children 0 to 5, and I don’t mean just in licensed care. We serve kids who come to us for tumbling, learning to swim and small sports. We have families who come to the YMCA and put their kids in babysitting, so we are touching these kids and families every single day. We need to be part of the solution in addressing some health disparities and some of the educational gaps, and making sure kids are ready for kindergarten, so we’re going to dig into that. We already are doing it, but we need to do it in a more impactful way, and we need to do it in partnership with other organizations that are trying to do the same thing. Where we are now, we currently have our branches, but we also have a lot of other childcare centers where we do partnerships with schools and school districts, and we’re running school-age child care and early childcare education in other places, too, outside of our typical walls. So that’s a big piece of it. I know that will be part of our clear priorities and vision. Another one is diversity and inclusion. That needs to be part of the
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
emphasis. We serve such a diverse market already, and we need to resemble that in our staff and in our board members. We need to make sure that we’re partnering with others to move the needle related to social injustice and inequity, because that’s going to be a huge focus for us, too. Is social justice a tricky area for an organization like the Y to get involved with? No, not at all. Actually, the YMCA has always been engaged with that. We’re not shying away from who we are and our Christian principles. But for us to have impact on the lives of people, we need to be a bridge. This isn’t about playing one side of the aisle or another. This is about doing what’s right for kids and families that need us in the community. How has the organization’s mission changed over the decades? The mission has never changed. Our mission is to put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy spirit, mind and body for all. That never changes. The vision based on the needs of the community might change, though. The Milwaukee YMCA was pretty big, but now we’re pretty much clear on what our footprint is, so that changes your priorities based on what the priorities of the City of Milwaukee are right now. Honestly, there are so many needs out there, and we can’t continue to do our work unless we’re removing barriers and filling gaps. It’s not that we haven’t done partnerships, but we’re doing them in a whole new way moving forward.
Resolution: solution: Start on Page O One Are you a fan of The Drifter? If so, don’t
miss Nick Petrie in conversation with Bonnie North of Lake Effect, for the launch of Light It Up, the third Peter Ash thriller Tue Jan 16, 7 pm, at Boswell. Heard about The Immortalists? Four
kids visit a fortune teller, who secretly tells each of them when they are going to die. You will love this novel! Chloe Benjamin is at Boswell, Thu Jan 18, 7 pm Pulitzer Prize winner Colson Whitehead visits UWM Union for paperback release of
The Underground Railroad on Wed Jan
31, 7 pm. General admission tix are $19. Reserve yours at whiteheadmke.bpt.me. Rachel Ida Buff discusses Against
the Deportation Terror: Organizing for Immigrant Rights in the 20th Century, at Boswell
on Thu Feb 1, 7 pm, cosponsored by Voces de la Frontera.
Carrie Wall
What can people expect from the Y in the next year or two? We’re going to have a clear vision of where we are moving forward. We’re going to have that by the end of the first quarter of 2018. You know, next year we’re going to be 160 years old. There aren’t many institutions that old in Milwaukee. That means I and our entire team and the board have a big responsibility to make sure we have a clear vision, and that it fits with what’s going on in Milwaukee, and that we’re identifying partners to make sure we’re here for the next 160 years. So you’ll see vision, you’ll see clarity and we’ll look a little bit different than we have in the past. It’s not about the buildings; it’s about the people that we serve. For information about the YMCA’s upcoming Martin Luther King Day breakfast, visit ymcamke.org.
REDgen and Boswell present Dr. Nadine Burke Harris at Marquette for The Deepest Well, Sat Feb 10, 3 pm. This event is free but you must register at eventbrite.com/e/41217968052. Visit boswellbooks.com/ upcoming-events for more info. Boswell Book Company Visit: 2559 N. Downer Ave Call: (414) 332-1181 Email: info@boswellbooks.com Facebook.com/boswellbooks Instagram.com/boswellbookco J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 25
::HEARME HEARMEOUT
For more, log onto shepherdexpress.com
ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON
::RUTHIE’SSOCALCALENDAR Jan. 12: Friday Night Freak Show: ‘The Hunger’ at Times Cinema (5906 W. Vliet St.): Bloodlust takes center stage in this David Bowie classic. Celebrate the glory of Bowie, the fads of the ’80s and the intrigue of the undead during
Working every day to build a pro-fairness business community in Wisconsin
Join us for our Milwaukee Coffee Connection Thursday, February 8 8:00 to 9:00 a.m. Tall Guy and a Grill 6735 W Lincoln Ave, West Allis All are welcome. No registration required. Learn more at www.WisLGBTChamber.com
LOVE LIFE ENTERTAINMENT ADVICE
Dear Ruthie says, “Hear Me Out! ”
AND FOR EVEN MORE FUN VISIT RUTHIE AND CYNTHIA AT RUTHIE’S BITCHIN KITCHEN.COM
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the 9 p.m. showing. Jan. 13: Yoga at the Museum at the Milwaukee Art Museum (700 N. Art
Lube Up the Generation Gap Dear Ruthie,
I feel like I’m losing a lot in the name of love. I moved my boyfriend into my house with plans of marriage. Since then, I’ve lost friends, I’m rarely invited to outings and I’ve gotten the cold shoulder from family members. The perceived problem is that I’m a 53-year-old man and my boyfriend is 23. My friends think I’m being ridiculous and that our relationship is a sugar-daddy affair, but they’re wrong. We love each other and know our relationship is real and lasting. How can I make my friends and family see the honesty in our relationship and repair any damage that’s been done?
Thanks, Hopelessly Devoted
Dear Hopeless,
Wowwy zowwy, Father Time! That’s a 30-year difference! I can understand why your friends are concerned, and you should understand their worries, too. After all, if they weren’t true friends, they wouldn’t give a crap, right? They’re reacting because they care about you, doll. I’m not going to bore you with statistics about the success of May-December romances. (Dr. Phil once quoted a survey noting that a 30-year age gap equated to a 172% chance of divorce. Okay, maybe I am going to bore you with such statistics!) I’m also not going to get into the completely ridiculous excuse of “Well, I’m only attracted to younger guys!” (You’re thinking with the little head between your legs, honey.) If you’re as committed to this relationship as you say you are, and I believe you are, then verbally recognize your friends’ concerns. Give them a final chance to voice apprehensions without your partner in attendance. Calmly acknowledge their worries and thank them for their concerns. Ask that they remain friends and try their best to support this new, exciting time in your life. Let them know that you hope they’ll remain friends as you explore this relationship and take it to new heights.
Museum Drive): Follow up on your New Year resolution with an 8:15 a.m. yoga session. Stretch until your heart’s content under the wings of the Calatrava during a $15 class that’s open to all yoga levels. Walk-ins are welcome if there is room, but you might want to see the “Calendar + Events” area of mam.org and register for a guaranteed spot. Jan. 13: Brewcity Bruisers Roller Derby at UW-Milwaukee Panther Arena (400 W. Kilbourn Ave.): Join the ladies of the Brewcity Bruisers as they lace up their skates and hit the rink in the toughest, coolest, craziest event you’ve ever attended. An $11 ticket gets you into the 6 p.m. derby. Jan. 13: ‘Rocky Horror’ 40th Anniversary Show at Landmark’s Oriental Theatre (2230 N. Farwell Ave.): In January 1978, the Oriental Theatre unleashed the magic of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on Brew Town…and the city has been reaping the terrifically tacky results since. Celebrate the 40th anniversary of this Milwaukee staple with a live cast, uncut movie, costume contest and more for a $10 ticket. Don’t miss this classic midnight showing! Jan. 16: Lunch & Learn at Quarles & Brady LLP (411 E. Wisconsin Ave.): Are you an LGBT business owner? Have a lot of LGBT employees? Get certified as such with the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce. This noon to 1 p.m. event describes how easy it is to achieve LGBT Business Enterprise certification, presents success stories from currently certified business owners and offers plenty of mingling opportunities. The seminar is free to chamber members and $10 to non-members. Swing by the “Events” area of wislgbtchamber. com for additional details. Jan. 16: 2017 Best of Milwaukee Party at Potawatomi Hotel and Casino (1721 W. Canal St.): Rub elbows with the best of the best at this annual bash that celebrates all things Milwaukee! The team at Shepherd Express have collected your ballots and are ready to announce the winners in more than 250 categories. See shepherdtickets.com for your $20 ticket that gets you access to free food samplings from the city’s hottest vendors, live entertainment, cash bars and more. Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::MYLGBTQPoint of View
Take me OUT to the Milwaukee Brewers Inaugural Pride Night ::BY PAUL MASTERSON
I
n case you missed it, the big news for 2018, thus far, was the announcement of the Milwaukee Brewers’ first Pride Night. Made possible through the efforts of Aurora Health Care in collaboration with the Brewers Baseball Club (and a special thanks is due to both), Milwaukee joins 18 other Major League Baseball franchises celebrating the LGBTQ Community. Of those, a dozen hold their Pride games in June, Pride Month. Logically, Milwaukee should follow suit. As of yet, no date for this momentous occasion has been selected. So, let me suggest one. There are three home games scheduled against the Chicago Cubs in the week following Milwaukee’s PrideFest weekend (June 8-10). Riding on the post-PrideFest afterglow, it would be an absolutely perfect time to have a Brewers Pride Night. For one thing, it would be a game against our favorite regional rival, the Chicago Cubs, the 2016 World Series champions. It would also acknowledge the Chicago team’s long history (in fact, the longest) of Major League Baseball Pride events—it celebrated its first Out at Wrigley nearly two decades ago in 2001. In fact, Cubs’ coowner Laura Ricketts is lesbian, married and a leading Democratic Party donor and LGBTQ activist. She serves on the Lambda Legal National Leadership Council and has long been a leader on the forefront of LGBTQ rights. Maybe someone will have the forethought to invite her to throw out the first ball. For that matter, she should be the Pride Parade Grand Marshal and make an appearance at PrideFest’s Opening Ceremony. A June date would also mark the first anniver-
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
sary of the Milwaukee Brewers membership in the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Milwaukee’s MLB club became the 500th member of the LGBT Chamber, joining as a gold founding member, on June 27, 2017. Coordinated with the Brewers, PrideFest and the Chamber, along with the support of Cream City Foundation, it should be easy enough to sell thousands of tickets as a twofer admission package for PrideFest and the Pride Night game. And I can well imagine loads and loads of LGBTQs coming in from the Windy City. Of course, I’d expect one of our talented singers would be invited to sing the National Anthem. I’m thinking of one who has sung there already, maybe with backup of our local men’s and women’s voices. Mayor Tom Barrett would be in attendance in the VIP box along with our LGBTQ political representatives, Sen. Tammy Baldwin, Tim Carpenter (an accomplished softball player, btw), JoCasta Zamarripa, Kenosha County Supervisor Dayvin Hallman as well as other personalities and leaders, past and present, like Saturday Softball Beer League (SSBL) Commissioner Eric Peterson along with that organization’s Hall of Fame members. In fact, SSBL has been a leader in relations with the Milwaukee Brewers, having long served in Miller Park’s pool of concession staff volunteers. It goes without saying SSBL, with the support of our bars and organizations, would throw an epic blowout tailgating party, perhaps with music by DJ Chomper. Just imagine it! This could certainly be an opportunity to galvanize community solidarity, LGBTQ and other, around America’s favorite pastime. I can’t wait.
Save the date!
first annual old fashioned fest • friday, march 9 • 5pm - 8pm
J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 27
::MUSIC MUSIC
For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com
LUCA VENTER
FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC
TENNIS’ ALAINA MOORE GIVES HER BAND A FEMINIST MAKEOVER
::BY SHAYE GRAVES
eading into 2018, Alaina Moore’s New Year’s resolution is the same as it was last year: to “kind of jokingly but definitely seriously” carry herself with the confidence of a mediocre white man. That she tiptoed into her statement speaks volumes, but at least she’s self-aware. “I was always more likely to doubt my skills or my right to be somewhere than the men around me,” Moore said. “I just adopted the ‘Fake it til you make it’ mentality because I didn’t know any other way around it, and I actually feel like it’s working.” Anyone who’s followed Moore’s music as Tennis over the past seven years would notice that thoughts of womanhood have been increasingly on her mind. Moore is the band’s lyricist, vocalist and keyboardist and her husband, Patrick Riley, plays guitar. She and Riley are creative equals in the band, but after three records worth of run-of-the-mill love songs, it’s Moore’s feminist dialogue guiding Tennis to their potential new niche in nuanced pop. The band’s latest record, Yours Conditionally, is their best yet. While still melodically driven and intensely romantic, the lyrics are also philosophic, sardonic and sharp. Moore’s honeyed voice probes situated concepts like gender roles and monogamy both subtly (“Baby Don’t Believe”) and blatantly (“Ladies Don’t Play Guitar”). “Ladies don’t play guitar / Ladies don’t get down to the sound of it,” she sings sensuously on the latter, caustically embracing an archetypical female
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role. “Maybe we can play pretend.” There’s just enough bite in her tone to know it’s a personal subject for her. In a binary world that fosters gender-based feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, even many highly successful women struggle. Despite having a banner year with Tennis—the duo released an album and EP on their own record label, made their Coachella debut and sold out the legendary Fillmore in San Francisco—Moore still describes herself as self-deprecating and psychically fragile. “All of my confidence is just, like, a paper-thin facade that could easily be blown away in like the slightest gust of wind,” she said through a laugh. Then, more seriously: “I felt for years just completely out of my depth. I didn’t feel like I was really an artist—I felt like an imposter just trying to live an artist’s life, and it’s taken years of practice and pushing myself, and including failures and all sorts of experiences, for me to finally feel equal to the life that I’m living. In that sense,
Tennis
it finally feels like a really healthy relationship between two equal, autonomous forces.” While it isn’t always fun, Moore has learned to revel in the tension between fear and transformative meaning. She actually chases discomfort in certain contexts, like sailing (which she’s scared to death of). “It’s a really parallel experience to walking on stage every night,” she said. “I’m afraid I’ll forget the songs, I’m afraid I’ll lose my voice, I’m afraid of a million things. It never ceases to amaze me the new absurd fears I have before a show begins. But, I’m convinced it’s that pain and rising up to meet a challenge that makes the feeling of completion so deeply fulfilling. Living in the tension of that anTennis guish, I guess, means that once w/Overcoats I arrive on the other side, it’s like this incredible opening of joy Turner Hall and contentment and pride, Ballroom and a deeper understanding of Friday, who I am as a person—what I Jan. 12, can do, what I’m capable of.” 9 p.m. Tennis embarks on an expansive U.S. tour this month, the last before they take a break from music for a while. It won’t be the last time we hear from them, though. Moore, in particular, is just getting started. Tennis headline Turner Hall Ballroom at 9 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 12 with openers Overcoats.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Youth in a Roman Field Put a Creative Spin on Singer -Songwriter Conventions
C
::BY JAMIE LEE RAKE
laire Wellin knew that her show must go on. A loss of electricity to her microphone during the middle of her performance as Youth in a Roman Field at The Jazz Estate Monday night didn’t impede her from enchanting the audience with her idiosyncratically accessible artistry. Considering the technological gaffe, it was fortuitous that she played solo this evening. The New York musician performed with her Youth in a Roman Field project as a trio at the same venue last October, and it can be as big as a septet in studio iterations. Having only to contend with herself, however, allowed Wellin to improvise a strategy to soldier on without thought to negotiating how other players and singers would interact and be heard. But grace under duress isn’t the only impressive facet of Youth in a Roman Field. A stylistic intersectionality incorporating folk, jazz and classical influences informs Wellin’s take on singer-songwriter vulnerability with a type of understated theatricality that makes Youth in a Roman Field an original presence loaded with potential. With a second album, Storm Conductor, due this spring, the time bodes well for Youth in a Roman Field’s creative and commercial fecundity. The initial attraction for some to Wellin’s work may be some vocal resemblance to Norah Jones. It doesn’t take very long of a listen, however, to hear that Wellin is given to an arguably greater elasticity of phrasing and peppers interpretations of her own songwriting with hums and nonsense syllables Jones isn’t wont to broach. As she sings of subjects ranging from lonesome late night walks, breaking off a relationship without regret, newspaper delivery men and offering faithfulness to a paramour given to doing her wrong, her eyes rarely remain open, and a sense of self-possession residing on the border of the serene appears to grip her. As her second Jazz Estate date progressed, it wasn’t difficult to imagine Kate Bush, Billie Holiday, Björk and other singular performers with magnetic, overpowering personalities lending whispers to her muse as well. It’s not an unreasonable assumption to believe Wellin could command a full venue of much larger size than the Estate’s relatively cozy confines. Though her vocals may suffice to mesmerize, they’re not her only audible talent. Wellin’s playing of an electric guitar with the barest shade of feedback serves her songwriting well enough, but her violin receives her greater attention when it comes to invention. As she both bowed and plucked its strings, the latter technique making for a sound somewhere between ukulele and sitar, she often looped the sounds she was making with effects gadgetry that recorded her playing. Layers of samples created backdrops approaching the symphonic. Impressive as all that is, it nevertheless creates an appetite to hear what Youth in a Roman Field can accomplish with more members sharing a stage. If Wellin’s professional trajectory continues on the ascent it appears to be taking, she may have no choice but to bring accompanists to satisfy audience demands to hear Youth in a Roman Field’s full recorded sound for her next tour. It should make Monday night’s performance all the more one to remember as an “I knew them when...” moment—mic trouble and all.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
CHOPPER CHIODA
MUSIC::LOCAL
MUSIC::CONCERTREVIEW
Daydream Retrievers
Ian Olvera Starts Fresh with Daydream Retrievers
I
::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI
an Olvera can’t say he didn’t give it his all with his last band, The Sleepwalkers. After years of building buzz around the Fox Valley and Milwaukee music scene, the group pulled out all the stops with their 2014 album, Lost My Mind in Stereo, a lovable blast of Big Star-indebted power-pop, hiring a PR firm and touring the Midwest and East Coast. It wasn’t enough to keep the group from fizzling out, though. By 2015, they were operating without a permanent drummer. Neither of their backup drummers lived in Milwaukee, complicating any plans to record new material. And after six years with the group, and a fair amount of touring, Olvera was feeling burned out. “I had spent my whole life doing this, pretty much since I was 16, and I hadn’t really had a chunk of time off,” Olvera recalls. “We were all so busy. I had been playing in two or three other bands that were recording or playing shows around the clock. At the time, it just felt good to take a break.” Olvera spent the next couple of years mostly away from music, occasionally tinkering on some new songs here and there, but feeling no particular rush to share or record them. It took him a year and a half to track the nine songs that make up the new self-titled Daydream Retrievers album, which he recorded over multiple trips to Appleton with Tenement’s Amos Pitsch on drums. And even though the album is out now, Olvera still can’t define exactly whether Daydream Retrievers is a band or a solo project, or predict what direction the project might go next. “I played everything except for drums on the record, and I recorded it and mixed it, so in that regard it’s a solo project,” Olvera says. “But I’ve got some buddies who are playing these gigs with me, and that’s feeling pretty good. But it’s pretty early yet. We’ve only done two shows. This is the first time where I made the album first and built a band around it, so this is new to me.” The songs themselves aren’t far removed from the ones Olvera recorded with The Sleepwalkers. They’re bright, buzzy and tuneful and, Daydream at times, downright hopeful. They certainly don’t sound like the work Retrievers of somebody who’d burned out on music for a time. That’s in part because he wrote them before his sabbatical. Cactus Club “It’s such a grab bag of songs,” Olvera says. “The newest song on Saturday, there I wrote right when The Sleepwalkers split up. So everything is Jan. 13, 9 p.m. from 2014-2015—just leftover songs that sort of gelled well together. There’s one I think I wrote when I was living in Nashville and one from when I was still living in Oshkosh years ago.” Olvera says his next album, whatever shape it takes, should have some more recent songs on it. He’s been writing them at a steady clip again. “I probably have about 25 of them now,” he says. “So I might try to record another album sometime this year, maybe in a similar way. But this time, I won’t restrict it to me playing everything. For me that was only going to work one time. This album was just an exercise in trying to keep it simple and doing everything at my leisure. Next time, it’ll be fun to have a band playing again.” Daydream Retrievers’ self-titled album is streaming on Spotify, Apple Music and other services. They headline the Cactus Club on Saturday, Jan. 13, with Quinn Scharber, Marielle Allschwang and Graham Hunt at 9 p.m.
J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 29
MUSIC::LISTINGS
::ALBUMS Van Morrison
Versatile (LEGACY) Van Morrison has been a singular talent in R&B-infused rock with a career stretching back to the mid-’60s, starting with his band Them and their earth-shaking hit “Gloria” before recording a string of remarkable solo albums. Recent years have found him trying to be a jazz singer and he’s at it again on Versatile. He won’t make anyone forget Tony Bennett on this collection of (mostly) standards. Morrison’s voice is blunt if sometimes sensitive and lacking the emotional subtlety demanded by George Gershwin and Cole Porter. However, he attacks the material with enthusiasm and has recruited a sterling band. Morrison also proves to be a snappy alto saxophonist, letting loose short solos with aplomb. —David Luhrssen
Dorf Kapelle featuring Abby Broeniman Music from the Heartland
It’s heartening to see a polka band long-lived and large as Dorf Kapelle hanging on. Leader Ernie Broeniman and his group’s 15-plus members hail from Wisconsin and have been specializing in the folkloric danceable music of Germany, Austria, Switzerland and the Czech Republic for nearly 30 years. For their latest album, Music of the Heartland, they stick to compositions from the 1910s through the ’40s. On several tracks, vocalist Abby Broeniman dips into the lyrics’ occasional emotional complexities. Even with so big a band, there’s a reserved air surrounding much of the music here. Listeners hankering for the oomph of harder-driving American Dutchman and Polish-derived polka styles will have to adjust their step and, perhaps, open their mind, but there’s plenty of beauty and bounce to Dorf Kapelle’s ethnically respectful approach. —Jamie Lee Rake
Harvey Taylor Hornucopia
A longtime poet and singer-songwriter, Harvey Taylor deserves to be called a Milwaukee institution, but few of us know that he’s also a fine trumpet player. Hornucopia is his collection of 13 recordings featuring trumpet at the fore. Taylor plays adeptly against backgrounds as varied as chill-room rhythm tracks, melancholy pop instrumentals (think hip contemporary Herb Alpert) and ambient soundscapes. Painted Caves’ Ali Lubbad adds electric guitar and wordless vocals to the Near East folk rock of “Always Glad to See Ali.” —David Luhrssen
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 11 Amelia’s, Jackson Dordel Jazz Quintet (4pm) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Acoustic Guitar Night County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Gibraltar Mke, Alex Wilson Blues Guitar Good City Hall, Urban Barn Dance w/Frogwater Jazz Estate, Anthony Deutsch Quartet Light Lounge South (South Milwaukee), Open Jam Party: Craig Omick & Friends with weekly special guests Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Riverwest Currents Holiday Celebration w/ Sigmund Snopek Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Miller Time Pub, Joe Kadlec O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Keith Pulvermacher Rounding Third Bar and Grill, Comedy College Standup Showcase The Bay Restaurant, Wicked Long Day The Packing House Restaurant, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Lenard Simpson Trio Up & Under Pub, A No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic
FRIDAY, JANUARY 12 American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), David E. Kirby’s Elvis Tribute Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Julie’s Piano Karaoke Anodyne Coffee (Walker’s Point), Eagle Trace w/The Mike Benign Compulsion Cactus Club, Hot Coffin w/Rented Rooms & Rally Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: A-Z w/Bryn Lorraine (8pm); DJ: era & The Nile (10pm) ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee! Company Brewing, Vic’s Filthy 30th w/Slow Walker, The Cult of Lip & Calliope County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Frank’s Power Plant, Miltown Kings presents: Creepy Carnival Harry’s Bar & Grill, Kyle Feerick (6pm) Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Kevin Hayden Group (8pm), Late Night Session: Milwaukee Hot Club (11:30pm) Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Honkytonkitis Lakefront Brewery Beer Hall, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, A Steely Dan Tribute w/many performers Los Mariachis Mexican Restaurant, Larry Lynne Band Mamie’s, Harvey Westmoreland Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Ale House, 5 Card Studs Miramar Theatre, Spafford (all-ages, 9pm)
Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Xeno & Joe (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Velocity (9pm) Rave / Eagles Club, August Burns Red w/Born Of Osiris, ERRA & Ocean Grove (all-ages, 7pm), Bone Thugs-NHarmony (all-ages, 8pm) Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Adelitas Way w/Deadset Society, Manafest & Late Night Fights Shank Hall, Pundamonium: The Milwaukee Pun Slam The Bay Restaurant, Steve Lewandowski w/Lynn Lew The Packing House Restaurant, The Barbara Stephan Group (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Tennis w/Overcoats
SATURDAY, JANUARY 13 Alioto’s, Georgia & JoAnna Marie American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Off The Record Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Cactus Club, Daydream Retrievers w/Quinn Scharber, Marielle Allschwang & Graham Hunt Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Wavy V w/Nickel & Rose (8pm); DJ: (10pm) City Lights Brewing Company, Derek Byrne & Paddygrass ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee! Dugout 54, Our House Band Frank’s Power Plant, Two and a Half Stars w/Contraptions & Juneautown Good City Hall, Live from Good City Hall: Ms. Jen and Ms. Rachel (11am) Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys Jazz Estate, Mike Kubicki- Music of Horace Silver (8pm), Late Night Session: Lou Cucunato Trio (11:30pm) Lake Church Pub & Grill (Belgium), Craig Omick & Third Coast Grooves Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, F in Fun w/Dirtbike & Billy Russo Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Spatola w/Bright Black & Lonely Joe Lonesome Miramar Theatre, Monxx Syborg w/Koma Kitty & White Ranger (ages 17-plus, 9pm) Mo’s Irish Pub (Downtown), The Spiders From Milwaukee w/David E. Kirby Outpost Natural Foods, MRS. FUN (12pm) Pabst Theater, Agape Love Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Aryk Crowder (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Boom Shack (9pm) Riverside Theater, Criss Angel RAW: The Mindfreak Unplugged Shank Hall, KICK - The INXS Experience w/Radio Radio Silver Spring House, Rick Holmes Saturdays Sugar Maple, Hassles ft. Terrie Ex, Ken Vandermark, Paal Nilssen-Love and Jon Rune Strøm The Coffee House, Fair Webber w/Mallorey Wallace The Packing House Restaurant, Joe Jordan & The Soul Trio (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Yule Ball Up & Under Pub, Young Revelators
SUNDAY, JANUARY 14 Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/ Julie Brandenburg Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Ian Phillips and Friends (8pm); DJ: Sheppy (10pm) Dugout 54, Dugout 54 Sunday Open Jam Hiawatha Bar (Sturtevant), Steve Meisner Band (2pm) Hops & Leisure (Oconomowoc), Full Band Open Jam Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jammin’ Jimmy Open Jam (3pm) Pabst Theater, Big Head Todd & The Monsters w/Ronnie Baker Brooks Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic The Coffee House, Living Activism Series: Cadence (John King, Mary Wacker, Paul Smith), Jonnie Guernsey, Jon Pagenkopf & Chris Straw
MONDAY, JANUARY 15 Jazz Estate, Jazz Estate Jam Session Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader David Hohenstein (7:30-11pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/Christopher John Up & Under Pub, Open Mic w/Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers
TUESDAY, JANUARY 16 C Notes Upscale Sports Lounge, Another Night-Another Mic Open Mic w/host The Original Darryl Hill Frank’s Power Plant, Duck and Cover Comedy Open Mic Jazz Estate, Funk Night with Angie Swan Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Marvelous Mack Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Parkside Reunion Big Band Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm) Silver Spring House, Rick Holmes Jam The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17 Cactus Club, Jackie Venson w/Shonn Hinton Conway’s Smokin’ Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/ feature Summer Spectre (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Mezcalero Restaurant, Larry Lynne Trio Morton’s (Cedarburg), The Blues Disciples (6:30pm) Nomad World Pub, 88.9 Presents “Locals Only” w/Ally Hart and Atomic Spins Paulie’s Field Trip, Humpday Jam w/Dave Wacker & Mitch Cooper Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Bay Restaurant, CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas & Jeff
New Glarus Firehouse, The Ricochettes
Stoll (6pm)
O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), Generation Gap w/
The Packing House Restaurant, Carmen Nickerson &
CP & Tom Anderson (6pm)
Kostia Efimov (6pm)
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Get it here: theshepstore.com J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 31
TRADE SHOW By James Barrick
THEME CROSSWORD
PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Kaidoku”
Each of the 26 letters of the alphabet is represented in this grid by a number between 1 and 26. Using letter frequency, word-pattern recognition, and the numbers as your guides, fill in the grid with well-known English words (HINT: since a Q is always followed by a U, try hunting down the Q first). Only lowercase, unhyphenated words are allowed in kaidoku, so you won’t see anything like STOCKHOLM or LONG-LOST in here (but you might see AFGHAN, since it has an uncapitalized meaning, too). Now stop wasting my precious time and SOLVE! psychosudoku@gmail.com 8
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© 2018 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication
ACROSS 1. Belgrade denizen 5. Leaves 10. Marathoner 15. Unattached 19. Chinese isinglass 20. Musical composition 21. Pointless 22. Candid 23. Pursues: 2 wds. 25. Retreat: 2 wds. 27. Lift 28. Antlered animal 30. Letters 31. Rainbow goddess 32. Raucous sound 33. Pineapple brand 35. Achieve 38. — accompli 39. Bygone 43. Con 44. Net dollars received: 3 wds. 47. Cakes and — 48. — cap mushroom 49. One of the Simpsons 50. Kind of certificate 51. Stage show 52. Devoured 53. Leafy shelter 54. Ruptures 55. Rutabaga 56. Put a tail on 58. Pup and Sibley 59. Electroshock weapon 60. Screen dot 61. Higher-ups 62. Dishonor 64. High tea item 66. Leave off 67. Rope tows: 2 wds. 70. Hemmed and — 71. Magnanimous 72. Dental appliance 73. Coxcomb 74. “No ifs, —...”
75. Bay of Naples island 76. Holds off 77. Wife of Zeus 78. Antagonist 79. Gamble: 3 wds. 81. A drupe, technically 82. Oyer and — 84. To — — (perfectly) 85. Hospital events 86. Lag b’— 87. Labyrinths 89. Mine wagon 90. Cell terminal 93. Rail or crane 94. Sarcastic 98. Produce: 3 wds. 101. Fire: 2 wds. 103. Bustard genus 104. Caretaker 105. Praying figure 106. About: 2 wds. 107. Aerie 108. Length measure 109. “Divine Comedy” poet 110. Homophone for seize DOWN 1. Guru 2. Name in an Icelandic saga 3. Rhapsodize 4. Book of prayers 5. Jelly thickener 6. A Musketeer 7. Cluster bean 8. Wynn and Harris 9. More decorous 10. Severity 11. Pimpinella 12. Antre 13. Compass pt. 14. Statute: Abbr. 15. Less strict 16. — Dei 17. Hawaiian goose
18. Tips 24. Poisonous gas 26. Fresh team of horses 29. Expletive 32. Pieman 33. Bureaus: Abbr. 34. Moonfish 35. Moniker of a kind 36. Fractional part 37. Leave in a hurry: 3 wds. 38. Known 39. Cherished ones 40. Becomes operative: 2 wds. 41. Drop a syllable 42. Check 44. Terry item 45. Seaport in Denmark 46. Sign in a market 49. Elias or Julia Ward 51. Mystic 53. Sparred 54. Pester in fun 55. Old hat 57. Takes food and drink 58. Heartbreaking 61. Lawrence Peter “Yogi” — 62. Flat fish 63. Successes 64. Tool handle
65. Pirogue 66. Antic 67. — -of-life 68. The Pentateuch 69. Bridges 71. NBA player 72. Clear squares 75. Woody stem 76. Triton or Poseidon: 2 wds. 77. Solitary 79. Kitchen gadget 80. Cloud 81. Direction in music 83. Small 85. “Jane Eyre” author 87. Stabat — 88. Cherish 89. Nottingham’s river 90. Old Greek contest 91. Nick at — 92. Genus of sheep 93. Broke down 94. Cousin to Jack and Sean 95. Movie 96. “God’s Little —” 97. Dregs 99. Ology 100. Take legal action 102. A Gershwin
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1/4 Solution
WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 30 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.
In the West Solution: 30 Letters
© 2018 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.
19
6
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Solution to last week’s puzzle
Albany Bays Boodarie Boya Carnarvon Derby Exmouth Fishing Gem Income Jetty
Ketch Luggers Matso’s store Meekatharra Minilya Moora Museum Nacre Newman Northhampton Onslow
Ord Pardoo Relic Rottnest Shells Telfer Tour Two Rocks Waroona Yanchep Zoo
32 | J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8
1/4 Solution: Need to make every move strategic SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Solution: Colourful wildflowers everywhere
Creators Syndicate
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Date: 1/11/18
::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Three centuries ago, Capricorn genius Isaac Newton formulated principles that have ever since been fundamental to scientists’ understanding of the physical universe. He was also a pioneer in mathematics, optics and astronomy. And yet he also expended huge amounts of time and energy on the fruitless attempt to employ alchemy to transform base metals into solid gold. Those efforts may have been interesting to him, but they yielded no lasting benefits. You Capricorns face a comparable split. In 2018, you could bless us with extraordinary gifts or else you could get consumed in projects that aren’t the most productive use of your energy. The coming weeks may be crucial in determining which way you’ll go. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A rite of passage lies ahead. It could and should usher you into a more soulful way of living. I’m pleased to report that this transition won’t require you to endure torment, confusion or passive-aggressive manipulation. In fact, I suspect it could turn out to be among the most graceful ordeals you’ve ever experienced—and a prototype for the type of breakthrough that I hope will become standard in the months and years to come. Imagine being able to learn valuable lessons and make crucial transitions without the prod of woe and gloom. Imagine being able to say, as musician P.J. Harvey said about herself, “When I’m contented, I’m more open to receiving a lot of inspiration. I’m most creative when I feel safe and happy.” PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Kalevala is a 19th-century book of poetry that conveys the important mythology and folklore of the Finnish people. It was a wellspring of inspiration for English writer J.R.R. Tolkien as he composed his epic fantasy series, The Lord of the Rings. To enhance his ability to steal ideas from The Kalevala, Tolkien even studied the Finnish language. He said it was like “entering a complete wine-cellar filled with bottles of an amazing wine of a kind and flavor never tasted before.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, Pisces, in 2018 you will have the potential of discovering a source that’s as rich for you as Finnish and The Kalevala were for Tolkien. ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’m happy to inform you that life is giving you permission to be extra demanding in the coming weeks—as long as you’re not petty, brusque or unreasonable. Here are a few examples that will pass the test: “I demand that you join me in getting drunk on the truth”; “I demand to receive rewards commensurate with my contributions”; “I demand that we collaborate to outsmart and escape the karmic conundrums we’ve gotten ourselves mixed up in.” On the other hand, Aries, ultimatums like these are not admissible: “I demand treasure and tribute, you fools”; “I demand the right to cheat in order to get my way”; “I demand that the river flow backwards.” TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you familiar with the phrase “Open Sesame”? In the old folk tale, Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, it’s a magical command that the hero uses to open a blocked cave where treasure is hidden. I invite you to try it out. It just may work to give you entrance to an off-limits or previously inaccessible place where you want and need to go. At the very least, speaking those words will put you in a playful, experimental frame of mind as you contemplate the strategies you could use to gain entrance. And that alone may provide just the leverage you need. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): While thumping around the Internet, I came across pointed counsel from an anonymous source. “Don’t enter into a long-term connection with someone until you’ve seen them stuck in traffic,” it declared. “Don’t get too deeply involved with them until you’ve witnessed them drunk, waiting for food in a restaurant for entirely too long or searching for their phone or car keys in a panic. Before you say yes to a deeper bond, make sure you see them angry, stressed or scared.” I recommend that you take this advice in the coming weeks. It’ll be a good time to deepen your commitment to people who express their challenging emotions in non-abusive, non-psychotic ways. CANCER (June 21-July 22): My high school history teacher Marjorie Margolies is now
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Chelsea Clinton’s mother-in law. She shares two grandchildren with Hillary Clinton. Is that something I should brag about? Does it add to my cachet or my happiness? Will it influence you to love me more? No, nah and nope. In the big scheme of things, it’s mildly interesting but utterly irrelevant. The coming weeks will be a good time for Cancerians like you and me to renounce any desire we might have to capitalize on fake ego points like this. We Crabs should be honing our identity and self-image so they’re free of superficial measures of worth. What’s authentically valuable about you? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If I were your mentor or your guide, I’d declare this the Leo Makeover Season. First I’d hire a masseuse or masseur to knead you firmly and tenderly. I’d send you to the nutritionist, stylist, dream interpreter, trainer and life coach. I’d brainstorm with the people who know you best to come up with suggestions for how to help free you from your illusions and infuse your daily rhythm with 20% more happiness. I’d try to talk you out of continuing your association with anyone or anything that’s no damn good for you. In conclusion, I’d be thorough as I worked to get you unlocked, debugged and retooled. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “It takes an extraordinary person to carry themselves as if they do not live in hell,” says writer D. Bunyavong. In accordance with the astrological omens, I nominate you Virgos to fit that description in the coming weeks. You are, in my estimation, as far away from hell as you’ve been in a long time. If anyone can seduce, coax or compel heaven to come all the way down to earth for a while, it’s you. Here’s a good way to get the party started: Gaze into the mirror until you spy the eternal part of yourself. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In accordance with the astrological omens, I encourage you to move the furniture around. If you feel inspired, you might even want to move some of that old stuff right out the door and haul it to the dump or the thrift store. Hopefully, this will get you in the mood to launch a sweeping purge of anything else that lowers the morale and élan around the house: dusty mementoes, unflattering mirrors, threadbare rugs, chipped dishes and numbing symbols. The time is ripe, my dear homies, to free your home of deadweight. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When he was 16 years old and living in New York, Ralph Lifshitz changed his name to Ralph Lauren. That was probably an important factor in his success. Would he have eventually become a famous fashion designer worth $5.8 billion if he had retained a name with “shitz” in it? The rebranding made it easier for clients and customers to take him seriously. With Lauren’s foresight as your inspiration, Scorpio, consider making a change in yourself that will enhance your ability to get what you want. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1956, the prolific Spanish poet Juan Ramón Jiménez was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. The award committee praised his “high spirit and artistic purity.” The honor was based on his last 13 books, however, and not on his first two. Waterlilies and Souls of Violet were works he wrote while young and still ripening. As he aged, he grew so embarrassed by their sentimentality that he ultimately tried to track down and eradicate every copy. I bring this to your attention, Sagittarius, because I think it’s a favorable time for you to purge or renounce or atone for anything from your past that you no longer want to be defined by. Homework: I’ve gathered all of the long-term, bigpicture horoscopes I wrote for you: freewillastrology. com. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
::NEWS OF THE WEIRD ::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
Family Values
M
azen Dayem, 36, of Staten Island, N.Y., obtained a restraining order against his father-in-law, Yunes Doleh, 62, in September after Doleh repeatedly tormented him by waving his hairpiece at Dayem, provoking Dayem’s greatest phobia—the Tasmanian Devil of Looney Tunes fame. Not easily deterred, Doleh was arrested on Nov. 5 for violating the order after he “removed his wig [and] made hand gestures” at a funeral the two attended, Dayem explained to the New York Post. “It’s just a very large fear of mine, his damn wig. ... I have nightmares.” Court papers say Doleh “proceeded to grimace, snarl, gurn and gesticulate.” He was charged with criminal mischief in Staten Island County court, and then sued his son-in-law for defamation after photos from the arrest appeared on social media.
Good Deed, Punished Malcolm Whitfield of Rochester, N.Y., was only trying to help when he ordered a Lyft car to deliver a drunk woman home from a bar in November. But when the woman vomited in the car, Whitfield was hit with a $150 fine to cover the damage. “For a second, I was like, ‘Never do anything nice again!’” Whitfield told 13WHAM. Lyft’s terms and conditions include damage fees, which most people don’t see in the fine print. Update: Lyft later refunded Whitfield’s fine and added $100 to his Lyft account for future rides. “Mr. Whitfield absolutely did the right thing by helping someone get home safely,” said Scott Coriell, a Lyft spokesperson.
Oh, Deer It was just another early December day at the Horsetooth Store, Gas and RV Park outside Fort Collins, Colo., as employee Lori Jones conducted inventory and restocked shelves. Suddenly, she looked up to see “Mama,” a doe deer, inside the store “looking at the sunglasses. Then she looked at the ice cream and over at the chips,” Jones told CBS Denver. “I kind of did a double take.” When shooing the deer away didn’t work, she broke out a pea-
nut bar and lured the doe into a nearby field. Jones then returned to work, but soon looked up to find Mama was back, this time with her three fawns in tow. It took another peanut bar to draw the family away from the store, and Jones said she has learned her lesson. “You should never feed the deer because they’re going to keep coming back.”
Sweet Revenge A mom in Hillsboro, Ore., came up with the perfect retaliation for a porch pirate who nabbed her baby son’s Christmas pajamas package off the front porch. Angie Boliek told KATU she wanted to get her own “passive-aggressive revenge,” so she taped up a box full of 10 to 15 dirty diapers with a note reading “Enjoy this you thief!” Boliek left the box on her porch on Dec. 3, and by the evening of Dec. 4 it was gone. Boliek alerted Hillsboro police, but they don’t have any leads in the investigation. “It was fun to come home and see that it was gone,” Boliek said.
New World Order Taisei Corp., a construction company based in Tokyo, announced in December that it will use autonomous drones, taking flight in April, to combat karoshi, or overwork death, reported The Independent. The drones will hover over desks of employees who have stayed at work too long and blast “Auld Lang Syne,” a tune commonly used in Japanese shops getting ready to close. A company statement said: “It will encourage employees who are present at the drone patrol time to leave, not only to promote employee health but also to conduct internal security management.” Experts are skeptical: Scott North, professor of sociology at Osaka University, told the BBC that “to cut overtime hours, it is necessary to reduce workloads.”
Great Art! At the courthouse in the Belgian port city of Ostend, performance artist Mikes Poppe, 34, was hoping to make a statement on the weight of history when he chained his leg to a four-ton block of Carrara marble on Nov. 10 and began slowly chipping himself free. The Straits Times reports that for 19 days, Poppe ate, slept and worked on the marble until curator Joanna De Vos ordered the chain cut “for practical reasons.” © 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8 | 33
THEBACK::ARTFORART’SSAKE
Toddy and Soul ::BY ART KUMBALEK
I
’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And yeah, that fat bastard Santa brought me one big honking head cold for Christmas that didn’t arrive ’til just the other day, thanks for nothing. I guess that must mean the knob had me down on his “bad” list. Obviously, Santa is not into the blues ’cause if he were he’d have an appreciation for the 12-bar axiom that “when you’re bad, you’re good”; so the heck with him. But I’ll tell you one thing, if I’m going to get the shaft sideways up the dupa from Santa, I’d rather it take the form of a head cold instead of a lump of coal ’cause what the hell can you do with a lump of coal in this day and age? At least with a head cold you’re offered the opportunity to practice self-medication, and by medication I’m talking the hot toddy, and by practice I’m talking mixing one hot focking toddy after another until you are able to forge the most compatible of relationships between your brandy, your hot water, your sugar and your spices. Science. So listen, over the holidays I received a very nice and much appreciated card from a faithful reader, which caused me to reflect on what a very lucky fellow I am after all. We’re into January and the “holiday season” is much considered to be done and done, except by me. No sir. As I’ve said many times, many ways, every day’s just another focking holiday to a guy
34 | J A N U A R Y 1 1 , 2 0 1 8
like me, you betcha. Yes sir, you name the day, and it’s sure-as-hell bound to be some kind of a focking holiday for Mr. Art Kumbalek. Nothing but seashells, balloons, topped with a generous dollop of you got to be jerking my beefaroni, what the fock. Anyways, it’s past-due for my annual Look Back/ Watch Out Ahead gala essay; so here goes: The Year 2017: Sucked, but good. Watch Out Ahead, 2018: Will suck, even more. Can you believe it? And the only surefire thing I predict is that there will be a sucker born at least every minute. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that, but know
that in more than 30 years of my much ballyhooed annual retrospective/predictive essays, I’ve yet to be proven incorrect everybody says. So, I’d like to break this off right here, right now, and do something nice for myself like crank up the thermostat and mix another hot focking toddy, you bet. But before I go, I’d like to mention that for Christmas, I received a nice little story from my buddy Little Jimmy Iodine, but I already had it so I thought I’d regift it to you ’cause what the fock. Here, try it on: A woman gets home, throws open the door and jubilantly shouts, “HELLO, pack your bags! I won the lottery!”
The husband says, “I can’t believe it! That’s great! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the mountains, or Europe?” She says, “I don’t care where you go. Just get the hell out.” Ba-ding! What, not your style? A little too short, too snug? OK, then try this one on: There was a very old man. And there he is upstairs, laying in his bed at death’s door—he’s ready to kick. All of a sudden, he smells the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies coming up from the kitchen. With all the strength he’s got left, he pulls himself out of the bed, leans against the wall and slowly makes his way out of the bedroom to the stairs, grips the railing with both hands and somehow makes it downstairs. Now he’s really spent but he’s got to make it to the kitchen where that delicious smell is coming from. So he gets on his hands and knees and crawls all the way down the hall to the kitchen where he sees a sight that—if he wasn’t still breathing—he would’ve sworn he was in Heaven. There on the table, all spread out on waxed paper are literally scores and scores of those chocolate chip cookies, I kid you not—obviously one final act of love from his devoted wife; so that he would die surely a happy man. He painfully pulls himself across the kitchen floor to the table, his lips parched and parted; the wondrous taste of a chocolate chip cookie already in his mouth seemingly bringing him back to life. His aged and withered hand trembles as he reaches for a cookie at the edge of the table. WHACK! He takes a wooden spatula right across the knuckles and the wife says, “Stay out of those, mister. They’re for the funeral.” Ba-ding! Like it? It’s yours. So I wish you’s a happy new year, since even at my age I still like to think anything’s possible, what the fock ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
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