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::NEWS&VIEWS FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

Is Ethanol Really Green? ENTRENCHED FINANCIAL INTERESTS, OUTDATED POLICIES, FEAR OF CHANGE BLOCK ENVIRONMENTAL PROGRESS ::BY MARY SUSSMAN e all drive cars fueled in part by ethanol—a chemical compound and simple alcohol with the chemical formula C2H5OH that many consumers believe to be green energy. Ethanol, of course, comes mostly from corn, which in August grows as high as an elephant’s eye, a ubiquitous feature of the Wisconsin landscape. The Renewable Fuel Standard (RFS) was passed in 2007 to incentivize green cellulosic fuels, made from non-food crops or crop waste. Between 2006 and 2012, tax credits and incentives for ethanol cost taxpayers an estimated $6-8 billion annually. Though designed to incentivize non-food crops, these credits and incentives went largely to subsidize corn and soy. Ethanol production was incentivized because it was viewed as a route to energy independence and a means to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Over time, the RFS has been criticized for not fulfilling its original promise. Recently, new research conducted by UW-Madison scientists found that cropland expansion from wetlands, pasture and forests released 115 metric tons of carbon between 2008 and 2012. During this period, more than 7 million acres of habitat were plowed under. During the same period, corn production for ethanol increased to satisfy the mandate and corn prices rose. “This cropland expansion, driven in part by the ethanol mandate, has far-reaching impacts on the climate through its effects on the land and the carbon that it stores,” says Seth Spawn—lead author of the University of Wisconsin land use study and a graduate research assistant student at the Center for Sustainability and Global Environment at UW-Madison—adding that, “These impacts are significant and should be taken seriously.” Such increases in released carbon from the soil result in increased levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, which contributes to the greenhouse effect.

Crops that Cause Pollution

Between 2008 and 2012, the amount of climate pollution from land conversion was calculated to be the equivalent of the annual emissions of 20 million additional cars on the road or six coal-burning power plants. In Wisconsin, annual emissions from Wisconsin cropland expansion were roughly equivalent to the annual emissions of 980,000 additional cars on the road, which roughly breaks down to an additional car for everyone living in Milwaukee County. While Wisconsin did not have the highest number

4 | DECEMBER 28, 2017

of “cropland expansion” acres, the land that was converted in the state was particularly carbon rich, which resulted in high carbon emissions. Wisconsin was one of six states (along with North and South Dakota, Minnesota, Michigan and New York) where crop expansion occurred on carbon-rich forests and wetlands resulting in the highest per-acre emissions. These six states accounted for more than 35% of the total annual emissions from cropland expansion nationwide. First-generation biofuels came from starch-rich food plants—chiefly corn and soybeans—that are easily turned into ethanol. Although burning ethanol re-

duces greenhouse gas emissions, critics argue that the energy that goes into producing it neutralizes those benefits.

A Zero-Sum Game? “The problem is that a lot of energy goes into growing those crops,” says Randall Jackson, professor of agronomy at UW-Madison and sustainability lead at the Great Lakes Bioenergy Research Center (GLBRC). “If you actually calculate the amount of energy it takes to make the fertilizer, plant the crops, make the gasoline to plant the crops and the carbon that it takes to make pesticides and herbicides to keep those crops as monocultures, the net energy gain hovers right around zero. Often it is negative, often it is positive, but it’s always right around zero ... It’s just a way to run our cars on natural gas and coal because that’s what goes into making all those products that make the grain that go into the gas tank.” Jackson explains that there are two kinds of carbon. One is fossil carbon, which is stored below the ground. The other is new carbon, which is in the atmosphere and ecosystem. When plants grow, they take up new carbon from the atmosphere. “When we harvest them, turn them into ethanol and put it in our tanks, it goes back out into the atmosphere. So we’re just cycling new carbon,” Jackson says. “The problem occurs when we take old carbon from fossil fuels that we make petroleum out of now. We keep adding carbon to the atmosphere from the fossil fuels. So, long as we can use new carbon, that’s going to be better. The problem with first-generation ethanol is that to get that new carbon, we are still using old carbon.” Despite the failures of first-generation biofuels, Jackson says that second-generation cellulosic biofuels hold great promise for the future. Cellulosic biofuels use the vegetative part of plants, not the grain, to make biofuel. “The real poster child for that is switch grass,” says Jackson. Also native and restored prairie plants and trees such as poplars can be used to make biofuel. “The promise of second-generation biofuels is primarily that those crops are low-input crops,” he says, “so they don’t take all the fertilizer and pesticides and herbicides. They can be perennial crops that don’t have to be planted year-after-year, so you don’t disturb the soil, and you don’t lose as much carbon.” Plowing and planting disturb the carbon sequestered in the soil and vegetation, releasing it into the atmosphere.

New Cost-Efficient Technology The problem right now with second-generation cellulosic biofuels is that converting the cellulose into sugar—which then gets converted into ethanol—is not yet cost effective. But researchers like Jackson believe that cost-efficient technology to break down cellulose into sugar will be viable in the near future. His colleagues at the GLBRC have developed some promising new technologies. One technology for breaking down cellulose is called Gamma-Valerolactone (GVL). James A. Dumesic, a professor in biological and chemical engineering at UW-Madison, developed this process. As Jackson explains, “GVL is a solvent that breaks down the biomass and turns it into basically the precursor

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of plastics and the precursor for lots of other products as well as fuel.” A second technology is a process called Ammonia Fiber Expansion (AFEX). “This is just a process where the biomass is treated to pressure, which breaks apart the biomass and makes its three major constituents, lignin, cellulose and hemicellulose, separate. Then they smoosh it together to make little pellets,” Jackson explains. “The lignin sort of helps hold these little pellets together. The beauty of these pellets is that they’re the same size as a corn grain, and that helps overcome some of the problems with biomass, which is that it is big, white and fluffy; it’s not cost-effective to move it around. If you can pelletize and densify it, however, it solves a lot of the logistics problems of moving it around. Moreover, they’re doing feeding trials now, and they’re finding that these pellets are getting close to the nutritional quality of corn grain. In which case, if you can feed this stuff to livestock, convert it to biofuels or burn it as biomass, you’ve got this sort of dual use for the pellets. We see this as an opportunity to jump start things.”

Big Corn’s Opposition Even though researchers appear to be on the brink of perfecting the technology to bring cost-effective and truly green secondgeneration biofuels forward, the forces in place against change are mighty. For example, almost 40% of the corn grown in Wisconsin is for ethanol production. In 2016, Wisconsin was the eighth-largest producer of grain corn. Grain corn is grown for non-food use, including animal feed, ethanol and corn oil. From 1997 to 2016, farmers in the U.S. have received almost $105 billion in federal subsidies to grow corn; Wisconsin’s share of that was nearly $5 billion. The value of Wisconsin’s total corn crop was almost $2 billion in 2016. Between 2007 and 2013, the corn industry spent more than $158 million on lobbying and contributed more than $6 million to federal candidates between 2008 and 2014, according to Taxpayers for Common Sense. “I have no illusion that once it becomes economically feasible [to produce second-generation biofuels cost-effectively], the powers-that-be are going to work hard to quash it,” Jackson says. “I’m cynical enough in my old age to say that it’s up to our children. I’ve just been hell-bent on educating children about these fundamental changes we have to make. It’s going to take huge political courage. It’s going to take huge societal demand for clean energy or healthy food. Our farming is killing the Gulf of Mexico—the shrimp industry is getting absolutely hammered. Why are we willing to do this just so farmers can keep farming the way they always have here? It’s absurd.” Jackson says second-generation crops like switch grass would help remove carbon from

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the atmosphere because they naturally store more carbon in their roots and in the soil. Corn doesn’t do that, and it also needs lots of water and nitrogen fertilizer, which ends up in lakes and rivers—a primary driver of algae blooms. Corn also requires bare soil, which causes soil erosion. “Wouldn’t it be great if, as a society, we also paid farmers to grow [second-generation biofuel crops] because they stored more carbon in the roots?” Jackson asks. “We’ve got to pay farmers to grow switch grass. Even if it’s not as profitable on the market, we can help them by payments for what they do: payments for ecosystems services.”

“WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT IF, AS A SOCIETY, WE ALSO PAID FARMERS TO GROW [SECOND-GENERATION BIOFUEL CROPS] BECAUSE THEY STORED MORE CARBON IN THE ROOTS?” RANDALL JACKSON ASKS. Conservation groups such as the National Wildlife Federation and clean energy advocates such as the Clean Air Task Force oppose the ethanol subsidies for first-generation biocrops. Last month, the Trump administration renewed its commitment to the ethanol mandate—a victory for Big Corn but a defeat for conservationists and Big Oil (which also opposes the mandate because ethanol blending is cutting into the demand for oil). Yet Jackson is cautiously optimistic about the future for second-generation biofuels. “We’re talking about transformational change. The stars have to align, and a lot of things have to come together all at once,” he says. “You do have the sense when you talk to farmers, that they’re ready to go; they just need the right price signals. We can make that happen. It feels like it’s right there,” Jackson adds. “But, of course, people are afraid of change.” Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

DECEMBER 28, 2017 | 5

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

The Changing Face of Woodland Pattern COMMUNITY INSTITUTION PONDERS ITS FUTURE AS FOUNDERS MAKE WAY FOR NEW GENERATIONS ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

oodland Pattern Book Center is a bookshop—an independent bookseller that has survived the alleged collapse of bookshops in the face of Amazon. It’s also an art gallery and a venue for music and other performances. Given the unconventional tastes of the founders of this non-profit organization, Woodland Pattern can also be called a cultural laboratory. But as much as anything else, it has been an anchor in its Riverwest community since opening in 1980. As it inches into its 38th year, Woodland Pattern’s leadership is contemplating the past while pondering the future. Co-founder Anne Kingsbury has announced her resignation as executive director, effective March 30, 2018. Her co-founder, Karl Gartung, has already stepped down as board president but remains active in the organization.

“It was the only building we could afford at the time,” Gartung says of Woodland Pattern’s location at 720 E. Locust St. But he quickly ticks off other reasons for situating the bookshop-arts center in Riverwest. “It’s close enough to UWM but not tied to it. And it’s an old working-class neighborhood, a mixed area ethnically.” The outer rooms of Woodland Pattern are devoted to books, its walls covered in shelves full of primarily small press publications with a particular emphasis on poetry. But the inner room serves dual purpose as a gallery for displaying artwork and a performance space. The room is relatively small—Laurie Anderson packed it with a hundred people just before she became a star—but the acoustics are good. “We thought the boundaries between literature, visual art, performance art and music are fluid. We wanted to do a center that would include all those things,” Gartung says.

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“I’d like to think we’re letting people choose the classics of today. People need access to those things in a place that’s welcoming,” Kingsbury says. Gartung describes this as “the retail experience of art. I wanted a place where I could expand my horizon—a place where people could walk in off the street and educate themselves.” “The physicality of it,” Kingsbury says when asked why bookshops remain important in the digital era. “You can pick up a book and turn the pages, feel the paper, see the book next to it. When you come to a physical space, you can talk to people about what you’re reading and get suggestions.” Woodland Pattern quickly became a meeting place for community groups. Openness to the concerns of the surrounding neighborhood was established early on when Gartung and Kingsbury covered the building’s street façade with a giant blackboard, complete with chalk and erasers. “It was a community message board,” Kingsbury explains. Eventually, they replaced the chalkboard with a series of murals by local artists.

Filling the Gaps Long before author talks were an almost nightly occurrence in Milwaukee, Woodland Pattern hosted readings. It has also worked outside the walls of its Riverwest home— facilitating workshops in local schools and promoting major events in other venues across the city, including African American

poet-musicologist Amira Baraka and rock singer-poet Jim Carroll. Says Gartung, “We always tried to fill functions not being filled by others in the city. We used to have an active film series, but when that wasn’t necessary any longer, we devoted our resources to music;” that is, to an ongoing series of experimental and free improvisational concerts curated over the years by Milwaukee musicians Thomas Gaudynski and Hal Rammel. “We will always have to be aware of what’s going on in Milwaukee. It would be stupid for us to try to duplicate the Milwaukee Art Museum or even Present Music. We are a chamber arts situation,” Gartung continues. Woodland Pattern has had enduring significance to Milwaukee artists. “From its free programs for urban youth, to its unparalleled Native American literature collection, to the platform it long has provided to a wide diversity of artists (especially those whose voices have otherwise been less than fully heard), Woodland Pattern has been a constant inspiration to an uncounted number of artists,” says Paul McComas, a Milwaukeeborn writer-performer-musician who has lived in the Chicago area since the ’80s. “For those for whom the arts comprise a spiritual realm, Woodland Pattern is a sacred space. I can tell you, within the much larger Windy City, there is nothing like Woodland Pattern.”

Goals and Going Forward Woodland Pattern’s current capital campaign has already raised $265,000 toward a goal of $750,000. According to board member Ed Krishok, the goals include “updating the building—including renovations to improve accessibility—and funding an operating reserve to support programming and facilities maintenance. We will be announcing some additional details about the capital campaign and our plans at the Woodland Pattern Poetry Marathon in late January.” For Kansas City native and recently added board member Franklin K.R. Cline, Woodland Pattern’s national reputation was one reason to move to Milwaukee. “I was a PhD candidate in creative writing, and as I was applying to universities, it was ‘UWM has a great program, and Milwaukee has Woodland Pattern.’” He is representative of the younger generation Gartung and Kingsbury have involved in Woodland Pattern’s future. Cline is also on the committee conducting a nationwide search for Kingsbury’s replacement. “The question we’re asking candidates is: What are you excited about? What changes would you propose?” he says. “We’re sad to see Anne go, but we’re very energized about what’s around the corner for the next 40 years.” “The template is in place,” Kingsbury adds. “We want an executive director who respects what’s here but can bring a fresh set of eyes to it. Founders are mortal. A successful founder will create a situation that allows their work to go on.” Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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NEWS&VIEWS ::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( DEC. 28 - JAN. 3, 2017 )

he Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Trump administration, as well as other activities by all those who seek to thwart social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinking-discussion get-togethers and any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.

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Saturday, Dec. 30

Voter and Civic Engagement Campaign @ Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin (221 S. Second St.), 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

Open around the clock

Acción Ciudadana de Wisconsin, Latino Voting Bloc of Wisconsin and Citizen Action of Wisconsin have organized a weekly Saturday campaign of knocking on doors and phone banking to get people thinking about the 2018 elections. Volunteers can go out and talk to voters about the issues that they care about and get them involved in different events happening in the community.

Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ The corner of Oakland Avenue and Capitol Drive, noon-1 p.m. Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war and “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterward.

Sunday, Dec. 31

Zoo Trip @ Milwaukee County Zoo (10001 W. Bluemound Road),10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. After a long year of resistance, Indivisible Tosa is organizing a fun, protest-free trip to the zoo. The Milwaukee County Zoo will have free admission on this day. Those who are interested are encouraged to stay for lunch afterwards.

Wednesday, Jan. 3

Refuel the Resistance @ Bounce Milwaukee (2801 S. Fifth Court), 6-8 p.m. Every Wednesday, Bounce Milwaukee offers a space to organize—as well as a free drink to anyone who brings evidence of active resistance in the past week— including protest signs, an email to an elected official or a selfie at the capital. To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to: savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that the administration of Donald Trump and others of his kind have planned for our great country. Comment at shepherdexpress.com.

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For more than a workout. YMCA OF METROPOLITAN MILWAUKEE Visit us at ymcamke.org DECEMBER 28, 2017 | 7

NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

Paul Ryan’s Convenient Political Disappearing Act ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

any of us who watch Congressman Paul Ryan up close are always amazed at how successfully he’s convinced so many fans in the Washington press corps to portray him as a sincere, honestly motivated, conservative choir boy instead of simply another sleazy, unscrupulous, right-wing politician. A perfect example was the media reaction to the story Ryan and his allies planted in Politico telegraphing that the House Speaker may be on the verge of ending his congressional career and declining to run for re-election next year. That trial balloon worked like a charm. Politico’s exclusive was strongly sourced. Reporters talked to three-dozen people close to Ryan including aides, fellow lawmakers, lobbyists and outside advisers. Many knew about Ryan’s discussions with his inner circle and “kitchen cabinet” of close advisers about possibly serving through next November and retiring ahead of the next Congress. For days, competing media dismissed the story as mere rumor based on a misleading, one-word non-denial from Ryan to a reporter’s shouted question about whether he was

leaving his job “anytime soon.” Ryan replied “No” and immediately left the room. Who’s to say whether a year from now is “soon” in Republican House Speaker years?

Dance of Deceit

Ryan’s political dancing became even more obvious in a year-end interview with The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s Craig Gilbert. Gilbert repeatedly asked whether Ryan would be on the ballot in 2018 every way a reporter possibly could, and Ryan repeatedly refused to answer. Ryan’s evasions were relentless: “That’s a down-the-road thing.” “I am not thinking about that right now.” “I’ll address the future in the future.” “Let’s leave it at that.” By leaking a story and then refusing to talk about it, Ryan avoids becoming a lame duck and, so far at least, he’s suddenly receiving glowing reviews from media sycophants gushing over passage of that massive Trump Family and Wealthy Friends Tax Cut as the crowning achievement of Ryan’s political career. Like most other reporting about Ryan’s career, there’s another far less flattering interpretation of Ryan ducking out of next year’s mid-

terms. Ryan and Donald Trump just gleefully high-fived over passing an enormous tax cut that blatantly stuffs the already bulging pockets of the richest people on Earth after fraudulently promising it would benefit the middle class. But the middle class wasn’t fooled. Less than a third of voters actually approve of those massive tax cuts for the super wealthy. Ryan’s support for blowing a $1.5 trillion hole in the national deficit to slash taxes for millionaires and billionaires was particularly embarrassing since Ryan had built his entire political career around warning that deficit spending was destroying America. The reason Republicans were so desperate to pass even a politically unpopular tax giveaway to the rich is they were desperate to pass anything. If they hadn’t been able to pass bad tax legislation, they wouldn’t have anything at all to show for Trump’s tumultuous first year in office with Republicans in total control of the government. Signs already were pointing to what Republican strategists feared could be a bloodbath for the party in next year’s midterms. Democrats energized by almost daily Trump outrages swept statewide elections in Virginia, New Jersey and, good lord, even ruby-red Alabama in what Democrats hope is a wave building into a tsunami. Ryan reportedly already has warned party leaders House Republicans might start announcing their retirements rather than risking defeat; he neglected to mention he might be one of them.

The Taint of Trump

There’s another obvious reason Ryan might

want to get out while the gettin’s good, and it has nothing to do with quitting politics. Just the opposite. That silly anti-Trump/proTrump jitterbug Ryan kept performing during the campaign was designed to distance Ryan far enough from Trump to be the next presidential candidate after the embarrassing, unqualified Trump went down in flames, but something even worse happened for Republicans: Trump got elected. With the possibility of criminal charges in the coming year involving Trump family members and associates colluding with Russians in an enemy attack on American democracy, any Republican who wants to run for president in the future (and vice presidential candidates like Ryan always do) will need to separate themselves from Trump permanently and lie low for a while. Ryan would have difficulty doing that if he continues as Speaker. The House is the body that would be expected to act if special counsel Robert Mueller finds Trump has committed impeachable offenses or if Trump commits some outrage to prevent that from happening—such as firing Mueller or pardoning corrupt members of his family and campaign. But there’s no guarantee even temporarily retiring from politics will protect Ryan from the taint of Trump. After all, Democrats still have pictures of all those rich, white, Republican politicians joyfully swarming around Trump and Ryan to celebrate those enormous tax cuts they just voted for themselves and their wealthy political donors. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Don’t Believe Democrats Should Run on an ImpeachTrump Platform

Last week, we asked if you believe Democrats should run on a platform that includes impeaching Donald Trump in 2018. You said: n Yes: 42% n No: 58%

What Do You Say? Will 2018 be a tidal wave for Democrats that results in them reclaiming control of the House and/ or the Senate? n No n Yes, they’ll reclaim one chamber n Yes, they’ll reclaim both chambers Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

8 | DECEMBER 28, 2017

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK

Lies, Hypocrisy, Hurting the Average American ::BY LOUIS G. FORTIS

s you begin to understand the tax bill, you quickly realize that if you own a corporation, are a 1%er or better yet a .1%er, have more than $20 million that you plan to leave to your heirs, or are a major real estate mogul, it is time to break out the fine champagne since you will be easily able to afford the best. As this tax cut quickly maneuvered its way through Congress, it went from a bill that most economists estimated gave about 65% of the tax benefits to the top 1% to one that raised that amount to about 83% going to the top 1%. That is five out of every six dollars going to the top 1%. Currently, the United States has an income and wealth distribution that is the most skewed toward the wealthy of all the advanced, industrialized, democratic countries. This bill has just made it much worse. To pay for this big tax shift to the wealthy, we are going to add well over a trillion dollars to our national debt. All of the Republicans led by Paul Ryan bemoaned and fought against adding to the debt when President Barack Obama had to run deficits in order to pull the U.S. economy out of the Great Recession in 2009. Now they are eagerly supporting these deficits even though the economy is quite strong, but this time the money is going to their wealthy donors, like the Koch brothers, so apparently it’s all OK.

So, are Deficits Good or Bad?

Why did the Democrats support deficits when Obama was president and now oppose them? Deficits, of course, lead to a rising national debt, which is not good because each year we have to pay the interest on the national debt with dollars that could otherwise have gone toward education, job training and health care for those in need or for improving our infrastructure. It hurts the average American. However, there are times when running a deficit can be important, especially when the economy is going into recession. Without deficit spending, virtually every recession will become a depression. In a recession/depression, workers are losing their jobs and are cutting back on spending. Businesses are not investing but rather laying off workers because consumers aren’t buying their products or services. Without some intervention, the economy spirals downward until it hits rock bottom. Eventually, it will begin to spiral upward. That process could result in decades of high unemployment and great social distress. To stop this downward spiral, basic economic theory explains that government, the spender of last resort, needs to step it up and spend a lot to begin to turn the economy around. Of course, this increases the debt. If the federal government spends money to build roads and bridges, workers are hired, and they spend money at local stores who then hire more workers, and the economy begins to rebound. That is how you turn around an economy SHEPHERD EXPRESS

in a recession—you put money in the hands of people who will spend most or all of their salary. Remember, it was the massive spending of World War II that eventually pulled the U.S. out of the Great Depression.

It’s Not That Difficult

There is no magic to the economy. If working people have money and are spending it, only then will businesses invest and create more jobs. You can give businesses all kind of tax breaks, but businesses will only invest if they see demand. The government needs to get money in the hands of the average American who will spend it, not the super wealthy. Back in 2009, if the Republicans in the Senate would have put the national wellbeing above politics and enabled the Obama administration in its first year in office to spend more on stimulus such as infrastructure improvements, we would have had a much quicker and stronger recovery, and fewer people would have lost their jobs, their businesses and their homes. It was sad to watch the Republicans and Mitch McConnell deliberately prolong the pain of the recession for their own political gain. Sen. McConnell was very clear about his strategy of doing whatever he had to do to make Obama a one-term president. It worked to the extent that the Republicans won big in the 2010 elections, and the Republicans took control of both houses of Congress.

Paying Down the National Debt

Once the economy gains its strength back and begins to produce a surplus, the debt can be bought down. The last time we saw a surplus and began to see the debt paid down was in the last years of the Clinton administration. Bill Clinton actually raised taxes on the wealthy and stimulated a booming economy that produced 23 million jobs in addition to running budget surpluses in his final years. Then, George W. Bush was elected, and one of the first things the Republicans did was cut taxes for the wealthy and convert Clinton’s surplus into a deficit. Donald Trump did the same thing. The U.S. economy during the final years of the Obama administration was the economic engine that was pulling the rest of the world out of recession. Trump inherited an economy from Obama that had been growing steadily for more than six years but unnecessarily added more than a trillion dollars to the debt to give a big tax break to Trump and other 1%ers. What this tax plan could have (and probably should have) been was a cut in the corporate income tax to make our corporations more competitive in the world economy and try to keep more jobs in the U.S. Then, as these corporations pay fewer taxes and have more money for their shareholders, we should have raised the top tax rates for the wealthy and raised the taxes on dividends to keep the entire tax bill revenue neutral—rather than raising the debt by more than a trillion dollars. No matter what Trump calls this tax bill, it is essentially taking from the middle and lower income families and giving to the wealthy. So much for “Draining the Swamp.” Louis G. Fortis is editor and publisher of the Shepherd Express and an economist who taught at Smith College and graduate seminars in economic development at UW-Milwaukee. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

Grimaldi’s

Shake Shack

New in Milwaukee

NEW YORK PIZZA IN BROOKFIELD AND CAJUN DISHES IN BRONZEVILLE ARE AMONG THE AREA’S NEWLY OPENED SPOTS ::BY LACEY MUSZYNSKI Two New York City-based chains opened locations around Milwaukee this month getting everyone excited. Plus, two upscale casual spots join the mix along with a Cajun restaurant hoping to help revitalize Bronzeville.

Grimaldi’s

20119 Lord St., J-101, Brookfield 262-785-1115 grimaldispizzeria.com

A popular New York City-based pizzeria has opened in The Corners of Brookfield. Grimaldi’s serves New York-style pizza from a 25-ton coal-burning brick oven, which gives the crust its famous char and crispness. Pizzas are available in 12- to 18-inch sizes with build-your-own or specialty pizza options. The Don is a meat-lovers favorite, topped with Italian sausage, meatballs and pepperoni. Fans of white pizza will appreciate the Quattro Formaggi, with mozzarella, Asiago, Parmesan, Pecorino Romano and Gorgonzola cheeses and no red sauce. Italian American salads, bruschetta and desserts are also available, as is a full bar.

On the Bayou

2053 N. Martin Luther King Drive 414-509-8932 | $$-$$$ onthebayoumlk.com

A new Southern and Cajun restaurant is open in the Bronzeville neighborhood just north of Downtown. On the Bayou specializes in Cajun and Creole seafood and other Southern favorites in a festive, New Orleans-themed atmosphere. Entrées

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include blackened catfish ($14.95) with garlic butter, Andouille grits and sautéed kale, fried chicken ($13.95) marinated in garlic and rosemary and seafood gumbo ($12.95) with crab meat, shrimp, chicken and Andouille. Brunch is available on Sunday with entrées like deep fried Cajun fish ($19.95) and shrimp and grits ($19.95), and all come with salad and dessert bar.

Mistral

2473 S. Kinnickinnic Ave. 414-539-6469 | $$-$$$ mistralmke.com

The Avalon Theater in Bay View has transformed its bar area into a casual high-end restaurant. Mistral focuses on Mediterranean cuisine and hopes to attract diners who otherwise would not be at the theater with a separate restaurant entrance. Chef Joe Schreiter has previous experience at Sheridan’s in Cudahy and the Bartolotta Restaurants. His menu is concise, with about half a dozen starters, entrées and one dessert. A chicken confit appetizer ($11) is flavored with Moroccan spices. A Tunisian pastry called brik ($23) is filled with sweet potato hash and comes with seared ahi tuna. Wines are available by the glass and bottle, with most selections coming from Italy, Spain and France.

Birch + Butcher

Shake Shack

220 E. Buffalo St. | 414-509-1080 $$ | shakeshack.com

Wisconsin’s first outpost of Shake Shack opened to much fanfare in the Third Ward. Shake Shack first opened in New York City as a food cart in 2001, which soon grew to multiple locations before franchising and becoming a public company. The fast casual restaurant serves burgers, hot dogs, fries and frozen custard. The standard cheeseburger is called a ShackBurger, and it’s topped with lettuce, tomato and creamy ShackSauce. Upgrade to a Shack Stack to add a cheese-filled, deep fried portobello mushroom cap to your burger. Custard can be ordered in cones, shakes or as concretes with various mix-ins, like the “pie oh my” with a slice of pie mixed in from Bay View’s Honeypie.

Birch + Butcher

459 E. Pleasant St. | 414-323-7372 $$-$$$ | birchandbutcher.com

A combination butcher shop and full service restaurant opened on the ground level of the North End Apartments. The butcher counter of Birch + Butcher sells fresh meats, cheese and charcuterie from Madison’s Underground Meats. The focus of the restaurant is family style dining and Midwestern flavors, which are, unsurprisingly, heavy on meat and fish. Expect the menu to change often, but the format will always be similar, with starters and snacks, mains designed to serve one to three people and platters for two to four people. A whole roasted chicken ($34) comes with barbecue carrot and carrot top gremolata, while a grilled beef ribeye platter ($36) is served with roast potatoes and salsa verde. Sides, like wild mushroom toast ($13) are also meant for sharing. This month in closings, Valhalla, a Nordic-themed bar and restaurant on Old World Third, as well as Wayward Kitchen in Walker’s Point, have both closed. Also, the Walker’s Point location of La Fuente has closed to diners, but will still operate as an event space. The Bluemound location of La Fuente is still open.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Where They Eat

HANG OUT WITH THE BEST OF THE BEST!

John Raymond

When John Raymond, chef de cuisine at Lake Park Bistro, goes out to eat, he gravitates toward Japanese restaurants. “When I dine out I very often choose sushi restaurants,” he says. “I love vibrant seafood of all sorts ... paired with fresh vegetables, fruits, grains and sauces. It’s an amazing and healthy way to eat.” His two favorite sushi restaurants currently are Kyoto and Fujiyama, both close to his home in Brookfield. Both spots “rate high for me in consistency and quality.” Plus they’ve got big rolls and everyone can always find something they like, he says. “Who doesn’t love a good hibachi, sushi roll or udon noodles?”

Kyoto

7453 W. Layton 325-1000 kyotomilwaukee.com

Fujiyama

17395D W. Bluemound Road, Brookfield 262-796-1977 fujiyamabrookfield.com

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Chef de Cuisine, Bartolotta’s Lake Park Bistro 3133 E. Newberry Blvd. | 414-962-6300 bartolottas.com/lake-park-bistro

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DININGOUT::SHORTORDER AN EXCEPTIONAL EXPERIENCE

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FAMOUS RIBS at FAMOUS DAVE’S ::BY JAMIE LEE RAKE

Even when they’re big cuts of meat in the smoke pit and on the grill, little things can mean a lot when it comes to barbecue. The awards case stacked in the Greenfield location of Hayward-based chain Famous Dave’s (5077 S. 27th St.) attests to the quality of the pork spareribs, beef brisket, chopped (not pulled) pork, chicken and other animal proteins served up with a smoky tang. A variety of four sauces on every table cover much of the gamut of taste and heat preferences throughout the U.S. But those littler things, the sides, set Dave’s apart. Mac ’n’ cheese receives a Southwestern spin by the addition of corn and jalapeños amid the creamy pasta. Coleslaw is made spicy and sweet with both horseradish and pineapple juice. That tropical fruit is also offered as a side in itself. The only weak spot in a recent visit were overly fatty rib tips, but the chicken tenders, catfish fingers and breaded onion strings in our sampler platter compensated duly. Though Wisconsin may not have a distinct barbecue tradition as other regions do, Famous Dave’s integration of others’ customs and slightly exotic accompaniments to its signature meats make it a chain destination worthier than many.

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DININGOUT::EAT/DRINK

Parthenon, A European Market in the Heart of West Allis ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

owadays, the smart talk isn’t about web retailers replacing brick and mortar, but about how digital and physical will work together in tandem. Danny Sarandos has been there for years, going from storefront to online to a brand new storefront. Growing up in the family-owned Parthenon Foods, he created a website for the West Allis ethnic grocery as a college class project. That was 12 years ago. The site attracted business and attention from afar. “Amazon contacted me—they had just started a gourmet grocery line,” Sarandos says. Sales expanded and with the long-running Greek corner store increasingly packed to the rafters with new merchandise from around the world, Sarandos decided to open a new store at a more prominent location, kitty-corner from State Fair Park at 8415 W. Greenﬁeld Ave.

Parthenon European Market is a spaciously laid out grocery specializing in foods of the Eastern Mediterranean and the Balkans with tangents toward Germany and elsewhere. There is a small produce selection and a refrigerator-freezer section with yogurt, sausages and other meats, unusual items such as taramasalata (Greek caviar spread) and the sort of spinach-in-phyllo frozen foods you won’t find elsewhere. Most of the aisles are devoted to packaged and canned goods. You can find bags of finely ground Turkish coffee alongside cans of Greek instant coffee (stronger than its American cousin). European jams, marmalades and honey are available, as are jarred items such as ajvar, the salsa of the Balkans. The bakery counter includes all the delights of Greece and Italy, from baklava and kataifi to cannoli. The cheese selection spans feta to Brie. Another attraction is the deli with falafel, Greek chicken soup, homemade orzo and other fresh salads plus gluten-free wraps. “We sell foods from 30-40 countries—our name, the European Market, pretty much says it all,” Sarandos says. “Many of our customers have said, ‘Wow, finally, a place where we can get all our things without having to go online!’” Parthenon European Market is open daily. The original Parthenon Foods (9131 W. Cleveland Ave.) is still open Monday-Friday. Visit parthenonfoods.com for more information.

Americans in the Kitchens of Paris ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN Mention Alice Toklas and Gertrude Stein races to mind. But as author Justin Spring reminds us in The Gourmands’ Way: Six Americans in Paris and the Birth of a New Gastronomy, Toklas eventually turned to food writing after the death of her companion. A lifelong reader of cookbooks, she plunged into the task with the fortitude she had shown throughout the war years. The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook was just one expression by American foodies in 1940s and ’50s Paris whose influence on stateside food culture Spring explores. Another ex-pat in that milieu, Julia Child, returned home to become America’s first mass-media culinary celebrity. She was seduced by the gastronomic riches she discovered in Paris, studied at the Cordon Blue and embarked on a mission to show that “preparing and eating delicious food ought to be within every person’s grasp.” Child demystified French cuisine for her American audience. The Gourmands’ Way is a most enjoyable read, not only for its description of luscious meals but of French culture during the war and postwar years. Smart, chatty and full of stories, Spring captures the excitement of Americans experiencing a cosmopolitanism hard to find in their homeland.

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::SPORTS Have the Packers Grown Too Old to Play? ::BY PAUL NOONAN

ootball is a young man’s game, and when Father Time finally comes for you, he is quite prompt. The Green Bay Packers do have some fairly young talent in Davante Adams, most of the offensive line, Kenny Clark and Blake Martinez, but a lot of the most important Packers players are getting

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up there—including Aaron Rodgers—and, while the injury to Rodgers that derailed 2017 may seem like an unlikely outlier, in truth, age has bitten the Packers far too often lately. In 2015, the Packers had the sixth-best pass defense in football according to Football Outsiders’ DVOA (Defense-adjusted Value Over Average), which measures efficiency on a

play-by-play basis. Dom Capers takes a lot of criticism for recent Packers failures, but that year it was an ACL tear to 30-year-old Jordy Nelson that did them in. Without Nelson, the 2015 team had just the 16th-ranked pass offense in the league in spite of a completely healthy Rodgers and a more-than-competent rushing attack. Davante Adams is young, and he has developed into an outstanding wideout, but his development took time, and because Adams didn’t really round into form until Nelson’s injury robbed him of much of his speed, the Packers have not really possessed a duo of good outside receivers since Greg Jennings and Jordy Nelson in 2012. This is a big prob-

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lem because, as it turns out, the offense can’t really function without at least one great outside receiver, and if you don’t have a duo like the Vikings’ Adam Thielen and Stefon Diggs, your entire offense is very vulnerable to injury. Many of the most important Packers are older. Rodgers’ age is no secret, but Clay Matthews will be 32 next season, Mike Daniels will be 29, Morgan Burnett will be 29, and Jordy Nelson will be 33 (and looks like he may be finished). After quarterback, the most important positions in football are the edge rushers. Putting pressure on a quarterback will make everyone else look good, and for many years, Matthews did a fine job in this position, but he and Nick Perry have always been injury prone, and that will not improve with age. The next most important position is outside receiver and, here again, the Packers find themselves vulnerable. The Packers are now vastly inferior to the Vikings in terms of talent. The Vikings defense is better across the board, and the Vikings receivers are much better than their Packers equivalents. Aaron Rodgers makes up for a lot of said deficiency, but that may not be true for much longer. Aaron and Age It’s worth noting that when Rodgers has played this year, he hasn’t been very good. His interception percentage was an all-time high of 2.5%, and his adjusted net yards-per-attempt of 5.99 was a career low. Rodgers is still an excellent player, and any decline is likely to be gradual, but it is still likely to come, and there is some reason to be pessimistic. In 2016, Rodgers was outstanding—completing 65.7% of his passes for 4,428 yards and 40 touchdowns. The only player 35 or older to eclipse those numbers was Peyton Manning in 2013 at the age of 37. If you bump the touchdowns down to 30, Drew Brees, Brett Favre and Kurt Warner enter the picture, but it remains a very short list. It’s tempting to think that Rodgers can defy the aging curve as he is still extremely athletic, but that athleticism cuts two ways. Rodgers is extremely mobile in the pocket and willing to take a hit, and he remains an outstanding scrambler. His ability to scramble for first downs is an underrated part of his game and has kept many Packers drives alive. His patience, movement and scrambling are all reasons that Rodgers is exceptional near the goal line as well. A decline in Rodgers’ athleticism could be catastrophic for the offense as it would severely impact the team’s ability to score touchdowns and convert third downs. Rodgers is a great passer, but his other skills are what set him apart, and the Packers rely on his excellence to function. Rodgers might play well into his 40s, but it is increasingly likely that his best days are behind him and that he will continue to miss play time occasionally. If Ted Thompson cannot reload the skill positions, there is a good chance that the offense will finish outside of the top 10.

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A&E::OFFTHECUFF

OFF THE CUFF WITH WOVIN’S DEBBIE BUCHANAN ::BY EMILY PATTI

ecognizing the need to serve female veterans, Milwaukee Homeless Veterans Initiative (MHVI) started the Women’s Veterans Initiative (WOVIN) in 2014. Founded by women veterans, WOVIN’s mission is to advocate for and educate the increasing number of underserved, at-risk and homeless women veterans and to help those in need help themselves and their families. Female veterans remain the fastest-growing segment of America’s homeless population. A significant percentage of homeless female veterans are survivors of sexual assault and are wary of seeking help at institutions like the VA. WOVIN is conceived as less intimidating, offering services ranging from assistance finding temporary housing to help securing referrals for medical care. Off the Cuff spoke with MHVI and WOVIN Executive Director Debbie Buchanan about WOVIN, its collaborators and the challenge of establishing trust among female veterans. How does WOVIN work? How do you engage women veterans? There are several ways we do that. The female veterans that come here for services are oftentimes in a crisis and need direct services right there on the spot. They come in the front door because they need emergency food, they’re being evicted or are at risk of losing their children because of financial situations. We’re able to do an intake process and help them work through those issues and, in many cases, use our own resources to address the crises … If our other partners—veterans’ organizations and community-based organizations—have female veterans that they are unable to serve, they refer them directly to MHVI. We also have a lot of female veterans that reach out to us through our social media. With Facebook, we try to respond back to them within an hour and get them connected to a resource in the area they are calling from or get them to our location to assist them. What are the challenges of establishing trust with these women? Especially with the sexual trauma, the women don’t want to go into an environment where they have to be reminded of what happened to them. So, walking into someplace like the VA or any military organization where SHEPHERD EXPRESS

there are a lot of male peers is threatening to them. And many female veterans don’t look at themselves as veterans. Most often it’s because they didn’t actually serve in a warzone or they just weren’t accepted by male peers. Which organizations and agencies do you work with? Right now, our main partner for WOVIN is UW-Milwaukee’s Military and Veterans Resource Center (MAVRC). I believe they have about 1,400 veterans that are students and 40% of them are female and some don’t want to go into MAVRC because it’s such a male-dominated environment. So, we’ve decided that by partnering, we could serve their female veterans and their students here at our offices. We work closely with the Department of Workforce Development’s veteran division, which helps veterans translate their skills and find them employment. We may have a veteran that is experiencing domestic violence so we work closely with Sojourner Family Peace Center. And, of course, the VA system and veteran services organizations. How would you describe the need for services for female veterans in the Milwaukee area? We serve throughout the state of Wisconsin, mainly in the five-county area. Definitely, the greatest need is affordable housing. Many of our female veterans that come back home are single parents and they’re trying to integrate into the community and find sustainable employment. It’s often not enough to cover rent. And if they don’t qualify for rental assistance they don’t really have any other avenues for housing and are most often evicted time and time again because they can’t maintain the stability in the home. Homeless women are a growing population among female veterans and there is a definite need for affordable housing.

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VISUALART|REVIEW

Painting, Drawing (Inventing?) the Modern World at Milwaukee Art Museum

“D

::BY KAT KNEEVERS

egas to Picasso: Creating Modernism in France” might sound like the title of a hefty art history textbook, but is actually a rather intimate exhibition. Yes, intimate despite the fact that this stylistic survey plays out through about 150 drawings, paintings, prints and sculptures in the Milwaukee Art Museum’s Baker/Rowland Galleries. Following in the chronological footsteps of dozens of important artists, we begin in what might be called a pre-modern phase. Artists active in the late 18th and early 19th centuries are shown via drawings that represented the academic standards of the day. The naturalistic depiction of the world and creation of beautiful figures was paramount, as well as the ability to tell a good story through images. Check out the powerful pieces from artists like Théodore Géricault and his compassionate portrayal of soldiers on their long trek home, or a mysterious small landscape by French novelist Victor Hugo. Throughout the galleries, wall text describes new approaches and the curious, sometimes rebellious, interests of progressive artists. What is unique is the dominance of works on paper to illustrate these points. While artists would produce prints as fully “finished” pieces, usually

drawings and sketches were more personal artistic property. A drawing was not something typically intended for exhibition but more like the artist’s laboratory where ideas were worked out. Other examples in the exhibition are delightful sketches, quick and charming gifts sent with letters to friends and colleagues. Impressionism and Post-Impressionism are represented by significant artists like Edgar Degas, Mary Cassatt, Paul Gauguin and Vincent van Gogh, each exploring new modes of representation through their unique approaches. Then, we break into the 20th century and the emergence of Cubism. Abstract art was coming into its own and the traditional notion that a picture had to look like something real and recognizable was falling away. Modern art became less about telling stories and more about investigating style and the construction. It shows us the world in ways that are imagined through the artist’s singular vision. As the world around them transformed, so did art of the modernists’ invention. Through Jan. 28 at the Milwaukee Art Museum, 700 N. Art Museum Drive. Camille Pissarro (French, 1830–1903), Kew Gardens, London, Watercolor and pencil on paper, 9×11.5”, ca. 1892 SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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Marjorie Robertson

Milwaukee’s AwardWinning Marjorie Robertson Comes Home with a Comingof-Age Novel

10.

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he William Faulkner – William Wisdom Creative Writing Competition is one of America’s leading literary contests and has been presenting awards in fiction, nonfiction and poetry since 1993. Sponsored by the Pirate’s Alley Faulkner Society of New Orleans, this literary accolade is given to previously unpublished work and past award winners have included Julia Glass (Three Junes) and J. Ryan Stradal (Kitchens of the Great Midwest). In 2014, Milwaukee-raised author Marjorie Robertson was a semifinalist for the honor for her debut novel Bitters in the Honey. Robertson, who currently teaches at University of California, Irvine and is at work on her second novel based on her short story “The Gleaners,” is a graduate of Riverside University High School and a past employee of the Harry W. Schwartz Bookshops. In her superbly crafted debut, Robertson weaves together a multi-voiced tale set in a rural Midwestern town during the 1970s. Bitters in the Honey blends a poignant coming-of-age narrative with reflective musings on the dramatic beauty of nature and the ambiguity of good and evil. This compelling story centers on Lana Sutor, who has been adrift since her father’s death in Vietnam, and who has recently moved to her grandparents' Midwestern farm. As she and her brothers search for adventure to cope with their shared grief, the family undergoes surprising changes after a farmhand earns their unlikely trust. Robertson will return to Milwaukee to speak at Boswell Book Co. at 2 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 29.

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::HEARMEOUT ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::RUTHIE’SSOCALCALENDAR Dec. 29: Opening Night of The Wizard of Oz at Miller High Life Theatre (500 W. Kilbourn Ave.): Click your heels three times, sugar, and take a ride to the wonderful land of Oz. A great way to relax after the holidays, this popular musical flies into Cream City for a limited engagement. Visit millerhighlifetheatre.com/ events/the-wizard-of-oz/ for tickets and show times, but hurry! The yellow brick road is only open through Dec. 31.

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::ASKRUTHIE

Post-Holiday Problems Dear Ruthie,

We spend Christmas Eve at my brother’s house with his wife and family. Last year my sister-in-law asked me to bring a special casserole. It’s sort of a pain to prepare but well worth it, particularly for holiday meals. I brought it, but it never made it to the table. When I asked about it, she said she forgot to reheat it and put it out. She apologized and said, “Oh, well. It won’t go to waste because we’re having my parents over tomorrow, and I’ll serve it then.” I wasn’t pleased but certainly understood the hustle and bustle of hosting Christmas Eve. Fast forward to this Christmas Eve, and the exact same thing happened! I was pissed, but I let it go. So, Ruthie, should I say anything to her about it now? What should I do if she asks me to make this casserole next Christmas?

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Thanks, Ho, Ho, Oh-No She Didn’t

Dear Ho,

As my great-grandmother used to say: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shove that casserole up her ass! Let it go, honey, but don’t play Martha Stewart for her holiday soiree next year. If she asks you to make this particular hot dish again, tell her you’re not up to it, and give her the recipe. Then, offer to bring a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, a salad or something that requires a bit less effort and leave it at that. Then make that friggin’ casserole and bring it over to my place, sugar! (God, I love a good casserole!)

Dec. 29: Queer Pressure at Cactus Club (2496 S. Wentworth Ave.): Madison’s Queer Pressure dance party unleashes its awesomeness on Brew City with a 10 p.m. to midnight bash. Featuring live rap performances, DJ, dancing and more, it’s one alternative event not to be missed. There is a $10 door charge, and the rage is only open to those over 21. Dec. 30: ‘The Prince Experience’ at The Riverside Theater (116 W. Wisconsin Ave.): Get your purple on with this all-live production of the ’80s classic album Purple Rain in its entirety. From “Little Red Corvette” to “1999,” you’ll go crazy, you’ll get nuts during the 8 p.m. tribute show. Visit pabsttheater.org for tickets and more. Dec. 30: RuFFHOUSE at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): It’s the last Saturday of the month, and that means the gang at This Is It is ready for a little ruff-housing! Join the 11 p.m. pre-holiday party that includes a DJ, drink specials and more. When the lights go down, the beats turn up at this new Saturday-night hot spot. Dec. 30: Nina’s Cell Block Tango at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): Hostess Nina Pinta Santa Maria presents the musical stylings of “Chicago” and all that jazz, during this themed drag show. Featuring D.I.X.’s house performers, special guests and one sexy DJ, it’s never been easier to be good to mama than with this 10 p.m. evening. Dec. 31: New Year’s Eve Family Festival at The Mitchell Park Domes (524 S. Layton Blvd.): Grab the kids and ring in the New Year at this family friendly party. The 6-9 p.m. celebration includes a dance party, live entertainers and more. Visit milwaukeedomes.org for ticket information. Dec. 31: New Year’s Eve with the Divas at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Dig into a prime rib dinner, cedar-plank salmon meal or one of the other two specialties offered during this gala. Enjoy your decadent meal with an extravagant drag show, featuring me and three of the city’s favorite girls. The fun starts at 7 p.m. and concludes with a Champagne toast at 10 p.m. Join us at Mary’s BeerCade afterward for a midnight toast, or head out to celebrate New Year’s however you wish. Get your $40 tickets at brownpapertickets.com. Dec. 31: New Year’s Eve Dance Party at Mad Planet (533 E. Center St.): Get your groove on with music from the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s and today at one of the city’s craziest dance parties. A $15 cover charge gets you access to free food, a Champagne toast and a high-energy way to say, “Happy New Year!” Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to follow her on Facebook (Ruthie Keester) and Twitter (@DearRuthie).

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

ER T N E DC

::MYLGBTQPoint of View

The 2017 LGBTQ Review and Awards! ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

o one is playing “It Was a Very Good Year” on that bar juke box these days—well, unless you’re a fabulously rich East Side gay Republican who got his tax cut. For the rest of us, 2017 opened and closed ominously, like a tragic opera. Its overture had already played just after the presidential election with two attacks on an LGBTQ health facility in Harambee. A third followed in the New Year. Then, as the presidential inauguration began, the White House scrubbed its website of any mention of lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders. Throughout 2017, as anti-LGBTQ legal assaults mounted, we faced ever-increasing anxiety over the future of gains made in the half century of struggle since Stonewall. Violence against us soared. A Nevada father shot and killed Giovanni Melton, his 14-year-old gay son, because, according to his foster mom, he preferred a dead son to a gay son. A mother and her boyfriend tortured 8-year-old Gabriel Fernandez to death (over weeks) because they thought he was gay. Murders of transgender people increased. The rate of LGBTQ youth suicide, often the result of bullying, continues to outpace that of their straight peers; locally, we remember 14-year-old Elijah DePue. Meanwhile, the West Virginia Supreme Court decided attacking gays is not a hate crime. But, in politics throughout the country, eight trans politicians took office and Alabama elected a Democratic senator (with a gay son, btw). De Pere, Wis., passed comprehensive non-discrimination protections for gender identity and expression. The state’s seventh city to do so, it slowed our slide to Wississippification. Meanwhile, the ACLU sued the State of Wisconsin on behalf of transgender state employees. The year’s obituaries included Rainbow Flag creator Gilbert Baker, marriage equality pioneer Edith Windsor, actor Jim Nabors and filmmaker Debra Chasnoff. Locally, we mourned popular drag queen Jackie Roberts; Bill Serpe, former SAGE executive director; activist Rick Finger, who with his partner Sheldon Schur (who died two months earlier), helped produce Milwaukee’s earliest Pride Parades and Pride celebrations. With the closing of Hybrid Lounge in February, we lost a popular destination. However, other venues opened their doors for “queer nights” and other LGBTQ events. With 35 years of service, Cream City Foundation (CCF) led a litany of landmark anniversaries. PrideFest celebrated its 30th year. The SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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weekly “Queer Program” broadcast its 25th anniversary segment. The LGBT Community Center turned 20 and Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce, now with 500+ members, marked its fifth year. In sports, SSBL founded a rugby team and a kick ball league. Elsewhere, leadership changes took place at CCF and the LGBT Community Center. Wisconsin made national LGBTQ news in 2017 when a Milwaukee priest came out as gay (ta-da!), a petition was launched to remove Madison Bishop Robert Morlino for his assault on gay Catholics, and local diva Jaymes Mansfield joined “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Season 9. The Awards: the 2017 Side-Glance of the Year Award goes to Cream City’s former Archbishop Timothy Dolan, infamous ecclesiastical con and mastermind of the “cemetery fund” scheme to bury church assets to avoid paying the claims of clergy sex abuse victims, for his appearance in a PBS Martin Luther documentary as an expert on church corruption. The Epic Success Award goes to PrideFest for its record attendance of more than 37,600. Happy New Year! I’d love to say “it gets better” but we’ll wait and see.

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::MUSIC

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

Milwaukee’s 2018 New Year’s Eve Guide

than is customary. The big drop happens at 9 p.m., giving parents plenty of time to tuck their kids in before midnight. The event also features a magician, a DJ, fire dancers, a storyteller and music from the Garlic Mustard Pickers, as well as a bunch of other kids’ activities.

LIVE MUSIC, COMEDY AND PERFORMANCE

::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI

ow’s this for a change of pace: For the first time in more than a decade, Jim Gaffigan is sitting out New Year’s Eve in Milwaukee. His absence isn’t the only change you’ll notice in this year’s New Year’s Eve calendar, either. This year, venues around the city have taken a gamble on new bookings, freshening up their lineups and, perhaps in some cases, inaugurating new traditions. The result is one of the city’s most unique arrays of New Year’s Eve (Sunday, Dec. 31) offerings in years. Here’s a rundown of some of the highlights.

FAMILY FRIENDLY

The Harlem Globetrotters @ BMO Harris Bradley Center, 1 and 6 p.m.

This is it, the end of an era. For decades, the Harlem Globetrotters have spent their New Year’s Eve at the Bradley Center, delighting kids with their trick shots and infuriating refs with their flagrant disregard for basketball protocol. With the Bradley Center set to be replaced next year by a pricey new arena, that tradition is coming to an end, though it’s a safe bet the iconic team will become mainstays of the new arena, too. You can expect them to notch another lopsided win for their final appearance at the Bradley Center.

Milwaukee Wave vs. Kansas City Comets @ UWM Panther Arena, 5:05 p.m.

Skating @ Red Arrow Park

It’s hardly Times Square, but for years Milwaukee’s favorite outdoor gathering spot on New Year’s Eve has been Red Arrow Park, a prime viewing spot for the annual New Year’s Eve fireworks display the city used to host. The city retired those fireworks years ago, but residents continue to congregate at the skating rink, which offers concessions that include beer, soda and candy.

New Year’s Eve Family Celebration @ Mitchell Park Domes, 6 p.m.

More than 500 balloons will fall from the ceiling at the Domes’ NYE celebration, albeit at an earlier time DAVE ZYLSTRA

No need to pretend you’re a faithful fan who pays close attention to the Milwaukee Wave. If you’re like most Milwaukeeans, you probably barely even re-

member that the city even has an indoor soccer team. The Wave are off to an absolutely incredible start this season (they’re undefeated as of press time), so consider New Year’s Eve an excuse to catch up with what’s shaping up to be a pretty memorable team. There will be a Marcio Leite bobblehead giveaway, so this is your chance to learn who Marcio Leite is, too.

GGOOLLDD @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 9 p.m.

GGOOLLDD’s infectious, love-struck, synth-pop jams and glamorous stage show have made them one of the biggest live draws in the city. Each of the band’s concerts has the feel of a major event, but this night promises to be an even bigger one than usual. They’ll perform three sets, with appearances from surprise guests from the Milwaukee music scene. Radio Milwaukee’s Jordan “Madhatter” Lee will be on VJ duties, keeping the crowd moving between the band’s sets.

The Record Company w/ Field Report @ The Riverside Theater, 10 p.m.

Everybody loves a good “local favorite makes a name for himself” story, and The Record Company are one of the city’s most notable in recent memory. After years of fronting Milwaukee bands like Freshwater Collins, singer-guitarist Chris Vos moved out to Los Angeles and found fame with The Record Company, his no-gimmicks rock ’n’ roll band, even earning a Grammy nomination this year for Best Traditional Blues Album. His group will share this bill with another very deserving Milwaukee success story, Field Report.

Abby Jeanne w/ Tony Peachka and Paper Holland @ Cactus Club, 9 p.m.

Few Milwaukee musicians had better years than Abby Jeanne, the Teflon-voiced soul and rock singer who topped year-end lists with her debut solo album, Rebel Love. She’ll end her eventful 2017 with one last headlining performance, supported on the bill by Tony Peachka and Paper Holland. There will be drink specials all night, as well as a complimentary champagne toast.

Shaun Jones @ The Point, 6, 8 and 10 p.m.

Comedy Café is presenting three sets from standup Shaun Jones, a veteran of BET’s “Comic View” and Starz’s “1st Amendment Standup.” You’ll want to note the venue: These shows are at The Point, 906 S. Barclay St.

ComedySportz New Year’s Eve Match @ ComedySportz, 8 and 10:30 p.m. For New Year’s Eve, ComedySportz offers deluxe packages to its competitive comedy performances. The $35 admission includes free appetizers and unlimited soda and champagne. Both shows are family

24 | D E C E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 7

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friendly, and each will end with a countdown (at midnight for the late show, and 9:45 for the early show).

VoodooHoney New Year’s Eve Show @ Company Brewing, 10 p.m.

Company Brewing celebrates the new year with performances from some its regulars associated with the local VoodooHoney music collective, including Foreign Goods and House of Renji. Singer B-Free hosts the night.

Klassik @ Iron Horse Hotel, 9 p.m.

Singer/rapper/all-around music savant Klassik headlines this New Year’s Eve gala at the Iron Horse Hotel, which will feature an à la carte Champagne Bar as well as a Barrel Aged Tasting Bar and Grey Goose Oyster Shooter Station, along with the requisite balloon drop and champagne toast at midnight. A prix fixe New Year’s Eve dinner ($69.99) is also available at the restaurant Smyth before the party.

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades w/ Sloppy Joe and Joseph Huber @ The Pabst Theater, 8 p.m.

Stevens Point bluegrass heroes Horseshoes and Hand Grenades anchor this night of roots and folk music at the Pabst Theater. The quintet shares the bill with Sloppy Joe and Joseph Huber, the .357 String Band veteran who this year released a spirited new solo album, The Suffering Stage.

Tigernite and NO/NO @ Café Lulu, 10 p.m.

One of the city’s great party bands, Tigernite headlines this Bay View New Year’s celebration. The guitar-worshipping rockers will be joined on the bill by one of the city’s most winning dream-pop bands, NO/NO, who released one of their strongest EPs yet this year, Twentysomethings. There will be drink specials all night, along with a complimentary champagne toast and a late-night snack buffet.

The John Schneider Orchestra @ Shorewood American Legion Post, 9 p.m.

Emphasizing music from the ’30s and ’40s, the Shepherd Express’ own John Schneider performs classics from the American songbook with his band, featuring Claire Morkin, Rip Tenor and Mrs. Fun’s Kim Zick and Connie Grauer. There’s no cover charge, but the suggested donation is $15.

Brew City Bass NYE @ Miramar Theatre, 8 p.m.

Haywyre, an EDM project that incorporates

classical and jazz music in some unexpected ways, headlines this bill from Brew City Bass, which also features the electronic acts Exmag, COFRESI, FlipMöd and Jailbreak.

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David Wake Sextet @ Blu, 8:30 p.m.

A backbone of some of the most successful Milwaukee acts of the last decade, including De La Buena and Kings Go Forth, David Wake and his sextet will provide the soundtrack to Blu’s New Year’s Eve. For those looking to start their evening early, blues and jazz singer Janet O’Mahony will perform from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

DJS, DANCING AND DESTINATIONS Stellar Spark New Year’s Eve featuring Zomboy @ The Rave, 7 p.m.

Stellar Spark marks 15 years of throwing some of the biggest New Year’s Eve blowouts not only in Milwaukee but the entire Midwest with this bill, which features literally dozens of DJs playing all four rooms of the Rave-Eagles Club. Zomboy headlines, supported by draws including Must D!e, Megalodon B2b Krimer and Ponicz. There’s also a DJ on the bill called Spookybro, which is a fantastic DJ name.

New Year’s at Potawatomi @ Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, 8 p.m.

A crew of Milwaukee and Chicago DJs—including Chicago house legend Bobby D—will tag-team this New Year’s Eve blowout at one of the largest dance floors in the city. DJ Bobby Styles, DJ Goose and DJ King James round out the bill, which will also feature a complementary coat check and champagne toast, as well as party favors and free parking.

The Get Down @ Good City Brewing, 9:30 p.m.

After multiple years of selling out Turner Hall Ballroom on New Year’s Eve, the iconic Milwaukee funk and soul spin The Get Down moves to a new location to ring in 2018: Good City Brewing. The Get Down DJs will spin there until 12:30 a.m., at which point they’ll head over to Strange Town—just down the block at 1201 N. Prospect Ave.—and spin there well into the early morning.

THE8NYE @ The Eight, 9:30 p.m.

DJ Stretch and DJ Breezy co-headline this New Year’s Eve gathering at one of Milwaukee’s premier hip-hop clubs. Admission is just NYE continued on next page >

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$10, but for those who want to live it up there are VIP packages starting at $30 that include upper-level access and other perks.

Goblin King Masquerade @ 42 Lounge, 8 p.m.

If you get the Goblin King reference, then this Labyrinth-themed gala is meant for you. 42 Lounge will celebrate the beloved David Bowie movie with an array of cocktails inspired by the movie and décor and music modeled after the movie’s ball scene. There will also be photo opportunities with Jareth, the Goblin King himself.

Joey Turbo, Asher Gray and the Sweet Breeze DJs @ High Dive, 9 p.m.

The Riverwest hangout High Dive ends a year of memorable shows with one last free party, featuring DJ sets from Joey Turbo (from Rio Turbo), Asher Gray and the Sweet Breeze DJs. There will also be a free midnight champagne toast, a balloon drop and a free late-night breakfast; not a bad deal at all for anybody balling on a budget.

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Moses, DJ Dex and DJ Mighty Thor @ Site 1A, 9 p.m.

VIP table packages are available for Site 1A’s New Year’s Eve bill, which will feature EDM sets from Moses, DJ Dex and DJ Mighty Thor, as well as photography from Weekend Natives. They’ll ring in midnight with a champagne toast and balloon drop.

Brew Year’s Eve @ Milwaukee Athletic Club

Come to the Milwaukee Athletic Club’s Brew Year’s Eve bash for the four-hour open bar and stay for…well, the four-hour open bar. You’ll have plenty of music to enjoy while you try to get the most bang for your buck, with performers including DJ Mighty Thor, Why B, Milwaukee Airwaves, The Listening Party and Jake Williams. General admission tickets are $99, and VIP tickets are $119.

Paris in Milwaukee: A New Year’s Eve Celebration @ Milwaukee Art Museum, 8 p.m.

For those who appreciate (and can afford) the finer things, the Milwaukee Art Museum’s New Year’s Eve celebration promises a decadent night of fine dining and dancing. A Paris-inspired hot jazz combo provides the soundtrack to the evening, which plays off the museum’s current “Creating Modernism in France” exhibition. Tickets start at $195 per guest ($175 for museum members).

New Year’s Eve Retro Dance Party @ Mad Planet, 9 p.m.

Mad Planet doesn’t mess with a winning formula for its New Year’s Eve parties. Instead, it hosts an extended installment of its popular 26 | D E C E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 7

Friday night retro dance parties, with a complimentary champagne toast and food thrown in. At $15, it’s a budget-friendly alternative to expensive Downtown dance clubs.

A Roaring ’20s New Year’s Eve @ Ambassador Hotel , 8 p.m.

With its gorgeous art deco architecture, Milwaukee’s Ambassador Hotel has always felt like a window to the past. It won’t take much for the hotel to capture the spirit of the ’20s, then, at this theme party, which features dancing, gaming, specialty cocktails and a red carpet. The 11-piece jazz band The Southport Sound will provide the soundtrack, while the Deco Café will provide dessert and coffee from midnight to 1 a.m. Overnight packages are available.

New Year New Wave Video Gala @ Red Dot, 9 p.m. Red Dot gets nostalgic with this New Wave dance party, hosted by DJ Synthia and heavy on hits from the early MTV era. There will be specials on champagne cocktails and appetizers, as well as a complimentary champagne toast at midnight.

Soviet Spy Party @ Alchemist Theatre, 9 p.m.

Bay View’s Alchemist Theatre can always be counted on to throw clever, kitschy New Year’s Eve parties, and this year they seem to have outdone themselves. Perfect for fans of “The Americans” and/or Paul Manafort, the party promises a bunch of surprises, including a secret Cold War cocktail room with actor-bartender Randal T. Anderson of the last year’s sold-out Alchemist show The Bartender. There will also be snacks, pizza and a midnight champagne toast.

The Dapper Dive and Service Industry Breakfast @ Riverwest Public House, 10 p.m.

The No Stress Collective, an all-inclusive crew of DJs, hosts this dance party that promises a mix of hip-hop, R&B, pop, ’80s hits and dance staples—and most likely a good deal of Beyoncé and Rihanna as well. It’s free and open to anybody 21 and older—provided they abide by the collective’s basic rules of human decency (no racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.) After the party, the Public House will host its service industry breakfast at 3 a.m., offering a destination for all those hard workers just finishing up their shift.

A Note on Transportation

If you’re planning on using a ride sharing service to get to the bars, you may be in store for some serious sticker shock. You haven’t seen surge pricing until you’ve seen it on New Year’s Eve. Thankfully, there’s an alternative. As always, the Milwaukee County Transit System is offering free rides on all routes starting at 8 p.m. and running until the end of service. Do yourself and everybody else on the roads a favor by leaving your car at home. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

MUSIC::LISTINGS THURSDAY, DECEMBER 28 Amelia's, Jackson Dordel Jazz Quintet (4pm) Angelo's Piano Lounge, Acoustic Guitar Night Art*Bar, Comedy Open Mic Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Song Circle w/Tricia Alexander Camp Bar Tosa, Jude and The Dude County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Jazz Estate, Andrew Trim Trio Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Miller Time Pub, Joe Kadlec O'Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) Paulie's Field Trip, Scott E. Berendt Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In the Fire Pit: Pat McCurdy Riverside Theater, 99.1 The Mix Mistletoe Show w/Hanson The Bay Restaurant, Dave Miller Blues & Jazz Trio The Packing House Restaurant, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) The Underground Collaborative, Comedian Nate Craig w/Josh Ballew & Kaitlin McCarthy Turner Hall Ballroom, Metalachi & Beatallica w/Camel Tow Truck Up & Under Pub, A No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 29 American Legion of Okauchee #399, Larry Lynne Band Angelo's Piano Lounge, Piano Night Bavarian Bierhaus, Steve Meisner Band (6pm) Cactus Club, Queer Pressure w/Dai Burger, Kia Rap Princess, SiddityGangg & DJ Boyfrrriend Cedarburg Roadhouse Bar & Grill, Chris Hodgson Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Bagsong w/Mike Hauser (8pm); DJ: Skybo (10pm) Club Garibaldi, The Lovlies w/Xposed 4Heads ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee! Company Brewing, Army Of Me: A Bjork Tribute w/ Amanda Huff County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Five O'Clock Steakhouse, M.K.E. Legends Frank's Power Plant, GET RAD reunion w/Cloud Rat, Assault & Battery & Population Control Harry's Bar & Grill, Kyle Feerick (6pm) Harry's on Brady, 5 Card Studs Hops & Leisure (Oconomowoc), The B Side Band Iron Mike's (Franklin), Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Music of Woody Shaw w/The Eric Jacobson Quartet (8pm), Late Night Session: Scott Currier Trio (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Kevin Bozeman

Lakefront Brewery Beer Hall, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman's Riverwest Inn, The Bill Camplin Band Mamie's, Michael Charles Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Ale House, The Blues Disciples Pam's Fine Wines (Mukwonago), Rebecca and the Grey Notes (6:30pm) Paulie's Pub and Eatery, Off Tha Hook Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: 3D (9pm), In the Fire Pit: 33RPM (9pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In the Northern Lights Theater: BoDeans Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Duosonic Shank Hall, Local H w/Devils Teeth Smith Bros. Coffee House (Port Washington), Andy De Junco The Bay Restaurant, Mark Meaney The Lakeside Supper Club & Lounge (Oconomowoc), PreNew Year's Dance Party w/Eddie Butts Band The Packing House Restaurant, Chanel Le Meaux & The Dapper Cads (6:30pm) The Tap Room (South Milwaukee), The Hook Up

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 30 American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Larry Lynne Band Angelo's Piano Lounge, Piano Night Bavarian Bierhaus, Steve Meisner Band (6pm) Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Corky Siegel and Howard Levy Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: The New Red Moons (8pm); DJ: Daniel James (10pm) ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee! Company Brewing, New Year's Eve Eve Hip Hop Show Crush Wine Bar (Waukesha), Dave Miller Trio w/Hal Miller & Mike Cascio Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys House of Guinness (Waukesha), Derek Byrne & Paddygrass Jazz Estate, Jonathan Greenstein (8pm), Late Night Session: Peplin / Davis Duo (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Kevin Bozeman Linneman's Riverwest Inn, The Boonduggies Pre-New Year's Eve Party Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Ale House, Jonny T-Bird & the MPs Miramar Theatre, Dead Man's Carnival: Tom Waits Tribute Show w/Prof. Pinkerton & The Magnificents Paulie's Pub and Eatery, Totally Neon Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Mirage III Riverside Theater, The Prince Experience w/Generation Z Shank Hall, No Quarter (Led Zeppelin tribute)

Silver Spring House, Rick Holmes Jam Slinger House (Slinger), Joe Kadlec The Packing House Restaurant, Jeff Stoll: Solo Show (6:30pm) Trinity Three Irish Pubs, Dan Harvey

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 31 American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), The Ricochettes Angelo's Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/ Julie Brandenburg Arriba Mexican Restaurant (Butler), Maple Road Blues Band (3pm) Blu Bar & Lounge at the Pfister, David Wake Sextet Cactus Club, Milwaukee Record halftime show series: Paper Holland (12pm), Electric New Year ft. Abby Jeanne, Tony Peachka, Paper Holland (9pm) Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), The Chris Hanson Band w/Robin Pluer Cedarburg Roadhouse Bar & Grill, Cherry Pie Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Aluminum Knot Eye w/Code Purple (8pm); DJs at 11pm: All-Star DJs ’til...? Clifford's Supper Club, New Year's Eve Classic Country Jam & Dance Company Brewing, VoodooHoney New Year’s Eve Show Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), The Brew City Rockers w/DJ Shakes Dugout 54, Dugout 54 Sunday Open Jam Iron Mike's (Franklin), Jammin' Jimmy Open Jam (3pm) Jazz Estate, Paul Silbergleit & John Christensen (8:30pm), the Eric Jacobson NYEtet (10:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Kevin Bozeman LuLu Cafe, Tigernite w/ NO/NO Lucky Chance, Aces High & Master of Puppets Mamie's, Marvelous Mack Milwaukee Ale House, The Cheap Shots Miramar Theatre, Brew City Bass NYE: Haywyre, Exmag, COFRESI FlipMöd & Jailbreak North Shore American Legion Post 331 (Shorewood), The John Schneider Orchestra w/Claire Morkin, MRS. FUN (Kim Zick & Connie Grauer) & Rip Tenor O'Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), John Criston Widule, Kent Niemi, Bo Niemai, Mark Bryan & guests Pabst Theater, Horseshoes and Hand Grenades w/loppy Joe & Joseph Huber Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bingo Hall: Eddie Butts Band (1:15pm & 11pm); In Bar 360: Marcell & Joe Richter (8:30pm); In the Fire Pit: The Clique & VJ/DJ Brian S. Reed (8pm)

Rave / Eagles Club, Zomboy / Stellar Spark NYE: Party With Thousands (all-ages, 8pm) Riverside Theater, The Record Company w/Field Report Root River Center, New Year's Eve w/Elvis Presley and Dean Martin Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Weird Science Site 1A, Moses, Might Thor & Dex w/hosts Rutger & Matty Ice The Coffee House, Party/Open Stage The Packing House Restaurant, New Year's Eve: Lem Banks w/Mary Davis Trio The Suburban Bourbon (Muskego), Larry Lynne Band Three Lions Pub, Jude and The Dudes Turner Hall Ballroom, GGOOLLDD w/Jordan "Madhatter" Lee VJ sets

MONDAY, JANUARY 1 Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie's Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/Christopher John Up & Under Pub, Open Mic w/Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers

TUESDAY, JANUARY 2 C Notes Upscale Sports Lounge, Another Night-Another Mic Open Mic w/host The Original Darryl Hill Frank's Power Plant, Duck and Cover Comedy Open Mic Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm) The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band 2018 Kickoff Open Jam

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 3 Conway's Smokin' Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson Kochanski's Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Morton's (Cedarburg), Jonny T-Bird & the MPs (6:30pm) Nomad World Pub, 88.9 Presents "Locals Only" w/Mathew Haeffel Paulie's Field Trip, Humpday Jam w/Dave Wacker & Mitch Cooper Rave / Eagles Club, Dorothy (all-ages, 8pm) Tally's Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk

533 E. CENTER ST. MKE 414-263-4555

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VOCABULARY LESSON By James Barrick

THEME CROSSWORD

PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Kaidoku”

Each of the 26 letters of the alphabet is represented in this grid by a number between 1 and 26. Using letter frequency, word-pattern recognition, and the numbers as your guides, fill in the grid with well-known English words (HINT: since a Q is always followed by a U, try hunting down the Q first). Only lowercase, unhyphenated words are allowed in kaidoku, so you won’t see anything like STOCKHOLM or LONG-LOST in here (but you might see AFGHAN, since it has an uncapitalized meaning, too). Now stop wasting my precious time and SOLVE! psychosudoku@gmail.com 6 7 5

14 8

14 5

22 25

7 2

2 15

28 | D E C E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 7

72. Trucker’s place 75. Rests 76. Aches 77. Giant in Norse myth 78. Infiltrator 79. Cakes and -80. Drift 81. Proofreading mark 82. Seasons goddesses 83. “Wish you -- --!” 85. Fire 86. Make more certain 87. Hit hard 88. Part of USNA: Abbr. 89. Thin 90. YEAR (noun): 4 wds. 99. Flowing garment 100. Milk: Prefix 101. Simple, in a way 102. Scut 103. Analogous 104. Transform 105. Flop of the fifties 106. Sch. out west 107. Plague 108. Brings to maturity 109. Bargains 110. Exuviate DOWN 1. Tor 2. Mata -3. Tel -4. Hard-working 5. Produced for the theater 6. Shinobi 7. Mixed collection 8. Depend 9. Formal exposition 10. Major suit 11. Vacation venues 12. Girasol 13. River in England 14. Rose Bowl location 15. Egg-shaped fruit 16. Affirm

17. Hawaiian goose 18. Nosh 28. Grandmother 29. Projecting piece of land 30. Vault 34. One of the D’Urbervilles 35. Cell body 36. Inferior judge of the arts 37. “Dracula” writer -Stoker 38. Ore deposit 39. Favor 40. “When in --...” 41. Borrower’s “grade”: 2 wds. 42. Peace goddess 43. Flitted 45. Comical 46. Harsh legislator of old 49. Persona non -50. Root 51. Linger 53. Monsieur Diderot 54. Fruity beverage 55. Fellows 57. Removes, in printing 58. Blanches 59. Bovine creature 60. Cutting tool

61. Top ballerina 62. De Carlo or Elliman 63. Blended 64. Disagreement 69. Support for a coffin 70. Novice 71. Part of ABA or AMA: Abbr. 73. Paton or Turing 74. Mangel-wurzel 76. Bicuspid 77. Unhinged 78. Driving force 80. Southeastern Asian 81. Animal stomach 82. Hoagie 84. Given to traveling 85. Players 86. Caravan animals 88. Later 89. Wild party 90. Pig in a -91. Sponsorship 92. Valley 93. Number prefix 94. Put cargo aboard 95. Word on a card 96. Tex-Mex fare 97. Rise 98. Louver part 99. Hoofer’s forte

Solution to last week’s puzzle

13 9

5 10

8 18

8 22

13 7

3 5

14 12

5 7

8 17

9 25

12/21 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 24 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

School’s Out Solution: 24 Letters

ACROSS 1. Punched-out paper piece 5. Shot of booze 10. Ladle 15. Air route 19. Rabindra Shankar Chowdhury, familiarly 20. Floorer’s cousin 21. -- New Guinea 22. Eye part 23. Seed part 24. Doddering 25. Collect 26. Dollar part 27. HAPPY (adj.): 4 wds. 31. Earth goddess 32. River in England 33. Weir 34. Move up 37. Beatitude 39. Began with introductory remarks 44. “-- Doone” 45. Scoria 46. Stingless bee 47. Estuary 48. Release 49. Measure of quality 50. Espresso froth 51. Province: Abbr. 52. Felis silvestris catus 53. Ending for roller or motor 54. Rub 55. Annapolis student 56. Exemplar 58. Artistic work 59. Hallowed place 60. NEW (adj.): 4 wds. 65. Where Venezia is 66. More foul 67. Old English diarist 68. Presents 69. Heavyweight 70. Old wives’ offerings

24 5

Acne Advice Aims Alert Blues Car Casual City Date Disco Dorks Early Emotion Energy Evenings Exams

Forms Free Games Grant Happy Hickey HSC Job Joy Lines Luck Make-up Menial Mess Money News

Oatmeal soap Peers Pressures Rage School Shop Sports Study Suit Tax Tears Tie Trainee TV Uni Wages Work

12/21 Solution: Many world famous outlooks

Solution: An exciting time in your life

9 3

8 24

Creators Syndicate

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS Date: 12/28/17

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Hungarian psychiatrist Thomas Szasz dismissed the idea that a person should be on a quest to “find himself” or “find herself.”“The self is not something that one finds,” he said. Rather, “it is something one creates.” I think that’s great advice for you in 2018, Capricorn. There’ll be little value in wandering around in search of fantastic clues about who you were born to be. Instead you should simply be gung-ho as you shape and craft yourself into the person you want to be. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Is there anything about your attitude or your approach that is a bit immature or unripe? Have you in some way remained an amateur or apprentice when you should or could have become fully professional by now? Are you still a dabbler in a field where you could be a connoisseur or master? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, the coming months will be an excellent time to grow up, climb higher and try harder. I invite you to regard 2018 as the Year of Kicking Your Own Ass. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In 2018, one of your themes will be “secret freedom.” What does that mean? The muse who whispered this clue in my ear did not elaborate further. But based on the astrological aspects, here are several possible interpretations. 1. You may have to dig deep and be strategic to access resources that have the power to emancipate you. 2. You may be able to discover a rewarding escape and provocative deliverance that have been hidden from you up until now. 3. You shouldn’t brag about the liberations you intend to accomplish until you have accomplished them. 4. The exact nature of the freedom that will be valuable to you might be useless or irrelevant or incomprehensible to other people. ARIES (March 21-April 19): “I need more smart allies, compassionate supporters, ethical role models, and loyal friends, and I need them right now!” writes Joanna K., an Aries reader from Albuquerque, N.M. On the other hand, there’s Jacques T., an Aries reader from Montreal. “To my amazement, I actually have much of the support and assistance I need,” he declares. “What I seem to need more of are constructive critics, fair-minded competitors with integrity, colleagues and loved ones who don’t assume that every little thing I do is perfect, and adversaries who galvanize me to get better.” I’m happy to announce, dear Aries, that in 2018 you will benefit more than usual from the influences that both Joanna and Jacques seek. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the Scots language spoken in Lowland Scotland, a watergaw is a fragmented rainbow that appears between clouds. A skafer is a faint rainbow that arises behind a mist, presaging the imminent dissipation of the mist. A silk napkin is a splintered rainbow that heralds the arrival of brisk wind and rain. In accordance with the astrological omens, I propose we use these mysterious phenomena as symbols of power for you in 2018. The good fortune that comes your way will sometimes be partially veiled and seemingly incomplete. Don’t compare it to some “perfect” ideal. It’ll be more interesting and inspiring than any perfect ideal. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 2018, half-buried residues from the past will be resurfacing as influences in your life. Old dreams that you abandoned prematurely are ripe to be re-evaluated in light of what has happened since you last took them seriously. Are these good or bad developments? It will probably depend on your ability to be charitable and expansive as you deal with them. One thing is certain: To move forward into the future, you will have to update your relationships with these residues and dreams. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Poet Diane Ackerman tells us that human tongues, lips and genitals possess neural receptors that are ultra-responsive. Anatomists have given unsexy names to these bliss-generating parts of our bodies: Krause’s end bulbs, also known as bulboid corpuscles. (Couldn’t they have called them “glimmering rapture hubs” or “magic buttons”?) In any case, these sweet spots enable us to experience surpassing pleasure. According to my understanding of the astrological omens for 2018, Cancerian, your personal comple-

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

ment of bulboid corpuscles will be even more sensitive than usual. Here’s further good news: Your soul will also have a heightened capacity to receive and register delight. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Mise en place is a French term whose literal translation is “putting in place.” When used by professional chefs in a restaurant kitchen, it refers to the task of gathering and organizing all the ingredients and tools before beginning to cook. I think this is an excellent metaphor for you to emphasize throughout 2018. In every area of your life, thorough preparation will be the key to your success and fulfillment. Make sure you have everything you need before launching any new enterprise or creative effort. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Experimental composer Harry Partch played one-of-akind musical instruments that he made from objects like car hubcaps, gourds, aluminum ketchup bottles and nose cones from airplanes. Collage artist Jason Mecier fashions portraits of celebrities using materials like noodles, pills, licorice candy, bacon and lipstick tubes. Given the astrological configurations for 2018, you could flourish by adopting a similar strategy in your own chosen field. Your most interesting successes could come from using things as they’re not “supposed” to be used. You could further your goals by mixing and matching resources in unique ways. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I wish I could make it nice and easy for you. I wish I could proclaim that the forces of darkness are lined up against the forces of light. I’d like to be able to advise you that the opening months of 2018 will bring you a showdown between wrong and right, between ugliness and beauty. But it just ain’t that simple. It’s more like the forces of plaid will be arrayed against the forces of paisley. The showdown will feature two equally flawed and equally appealing sources of intrigue. And so you may inquire, Libra, what is the most honorable role you can play in these matters? Should you lend your support to one side or the other? I advise you to create a third side. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2018, your tribe will be extra skilled at opening things that have been shut or sealed for a long time: heavy doors, treasure boxes, rich possibilities, buried secrets, shy eyes, mum mouths, guarded hearts and insular minds. You’ll have a knack for initiating new markets and clearing blocked passageways and staging grand openings. You’ll be more inclined to speak candidly and freely than any other generation of Scorpios in a long time. Getting stuck things unstuck will come naturally. Making yourself available for bighearted fun and games will be your specialty. Given these wonders, maybe you should adopt a new nickname, like Apertura (the Italian word for “opening”), Ouverture (the French word for “opening”), Šiši (Yoruban), Otevírací (Czech), Öffnung (German), or Kufungua (Swahili). SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I predict that the coming months won’t bring you the kinds of opportunities you were imagining and expecting, but will bring you opportunities you haven’t imagined and didn’t expect. Will you be alert and receptive to these sly divergences from your master plan? If so, by September 2018 you will have become as smart a gambler as maybe you have ever been. You will be more flexible and adaptable, too, which means you’ll be better able to get what you want without breaking stuff and wreaking whirlwinds. Congratulations in advance, my daring darling. May your experiments be both visionary and practical. May your fiery intentions be both steady and fluidic. Homework: Name 10 items you would put in a time capsule to be dug up by your descendants in 500 years. Testify at freewillastrology.com. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

AllAmerican Weirdos

wo American tourists, Joseph DaSilva, 38, and Travis DaSilva, 36, of San Diego, were arrested in Bangkok, Thailand, on Nov. 28 and detained in an immigration detention center after they posted a “buttselfie” on Instagram, taken in front of the Buddhist temple Wat Arun (“Temple of the Dawn”). The pair’s Instagram account, “Traveling Butts,” showcased their hindquarters at tourist sites around the world, but it was deleted shortly after the arrests. District police chief Jaruphat Thongkomol told Reuters that the two would also be fined for a similar photo at a different temple.

Liver Logos In Birmingham, England, renowned 53-year-old surgeon Simon Bramhall pleaded guilty on Dec. 13 to branding his initials onto human livers using an argon beam during transplant surgeries. A colleague first noticed the initials “S.B.” in 2013 on an organ during a follow-up surgery, which sparked an investigation, The Guardian reported. Bramhall resigned in 2014 and acknowledged that marking his patients’ livers had been a mistake. But former patient Tracy Scriven of Dyrham, Wiltshire, told the Birmingham Mail that he should be reinstated: “Is it really that bad? I wouldn’t have cared if he did it to me. The man saved my life.”

Inept Santa Moves Jesse Berube, 32, of Rocklin, Calif., tried using a favorite trick of Old St. Nick, but he got stuck in the chimney of a Citrus Heights business he was trying to rob on Dec. 13 and had to call police for help. ABC News reported that Sacramento firefighters responded and used special equipment to free Berube, who now faces one count of burglary. Citrus Heights police said Berube obviously “does not have the same skills as the real deal.”

Rebelle-ious Behavior British model Chloe Hammond, 27 (aka Chloe Rebelle), succumbed to a fit of road rage on March 19 when Julie Holloway, 56, tapped on her car window to ask her to stop using her phone while driving in traffic in London. Metro News reports that Rebelle re-

sponded by parking her Audi TT and “coming out of nowhere” toward Holloway, kicking her in the stomach, grabbing Holloway’s hair and biting off a piece of her ear. Holloway, bloodied and disturbed, didn’t realize part of her ear was missing until someone “picked it up off the floor.” In October, Rebelle was convicted of causing grievous bodily harm with intent in Southwark Crown Court, and on Dec. 18, a judge sentenced her to five years in jail.

Special Delivery! An employee at a TCBY yogurt shop in Matthews, N.C., got a surprise while opening three packages delivered to the store—filled with $220,000 worth of marijuana. Upon further investigation, the store told WSOC-TV, the packages had been delivered mistakenly and were meant for a post office box at the postal store next door. While the origin of the packages is still unknown, the drugs and the recipient’s information have been turned over to the local police.

Forlorn Ferrari Israel Perez Rangel, 38, of Santa Ana, Calif., raised suspicions begging for money at a service station to put gas in the 2015 Ferrari 458 Spider he was driving on Nov. 1. The $300,000 car was in rough shape, according to the Los Angeles Times, with cracked fins, emblems torn from the body and vomit caked on the side. When Santa Ana police arrived, Rangel ran away, but he was caught nearby hiding in bushes. Car owner Susan Friedman of Laguna Beach had left the Ferrari at a Costa Mesa service center in October, where it was stolen, and surveillance video confirmed it was Rangel who nicked the hot rod. Luckily for Friedman, her insurance company cut her a check; she’s replaced the Ferrari with a 2018 Lamborghini Huracan.

Shouldn’t That Be Haesin-Dong? Visitors to South Korea for the 2018 Winter Olympics may want to make a side trip to Haesindang Park near the coastal town of Sinnam. The park, also known as Penis Park, opened to the public in 2007 and was dedicated to the memory of a virgin bride-to-be left behind by her fisherman fiancé. Locals told The Mirror that, after being abandoned, the bride was swept out to sea and drowned, causing fish to leave the area. Now her spirit can only be soothed by the sight of … male genitalia. The Penis Park features nearly 300 erect phallus statues, and about 12,000 visitors take in the titillating sights each year— most of them women. © 2017 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION D E C E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 7 | 29

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Should Be Forgot, You Betcha ::BY ART KUMBALEK

’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, this old year, this time 2017, is practically expired and again I’m thinking the less said about it the better. But I will tell you’s I recall that at the beginning of this dying year I looked back at 2016 and said it had sucked, and my crystal ball told me to say that the future-2017 would also suck, but even more. Cripes, I should’ve put my money where my mouth was ’cause if I had, I’d be living the luxury life on Easy Street and lighting my Pall Malls with $20 dollar bills, what the fock. So yeah, the less said about 2017 the better and I’m sticking to it, this week anyways. But before I go, I got to say once again that if you’re out and about New Year’s Eve so’s to kick 2017 out the door, maybe I’ll see you over by the North Shore American Legion Post 331 up there in Shorewood on Wilson Drive just north of Capitol, 9 p.m. to midnight with the John Schneider Orchestra, Claire Morkin, MRS. FUN and some saxophone player, ring-a-ding-ding. It’s a suggested donation of $15, but as always, if you’d rather drop a grand or two at the door, there’d be no complaints. So to the limit of my optimism, it bears repeating that I wish you all a happy focking New Year, and good luck with that what the fock, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

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