Shepherd Express - December 2022

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DECEMBER 2022
NEWS 08 Journey House Creates Leaders Through Community 12 Will The Domes Finally Receive the Stewardship It Deserves? 15 This Modern World 16 Trump’s Radical Court Is Eager to Restore White Male Supremacy — Taking Liberties 18 Happy Holidays? It Depends — Issue of the Month 20 G abriel Thomas Brings Light to Vacant Buildings — Hero of the Month 22 The New Sheriff in Town — MKE SPEAKS: Conversations with Milwaukeeans FOOD & DRINK 26 Whole Egg Hot Chocolate Cocoa — Flash in the Pan SPECIAL SECTION 28 New Year's Eve Guide 36 Where to Dine on December 25? — Holiday Dining 39 Holiday Drink Guide 39 A Holiday Cocktail Guide — Beverages 42 Warm Up This Winter at These Cozy Spots 45 Holiday Gift Guide 2022 CULTURE 56 ' Say Goodbye to Nutcracker'? 58 Testing Their Mettle 62 This Month in Milwaukee LIFESTYLE 66 Your Brain on Animals — Out of my Mind 68 Milwaukee Company Produces CBD Locally and Organically — Cannabis HEAR ME OUT 70 Events to Jingle Your Bells — Dear Ruthie 72 My 2022 Catch-Up Letter — My LGBTQ POV ART FOR ART'S SAKE 74 From the City that Always Sweeps SPONSORED BY 36 22 58 16 12 45 SPONSORED BY 6 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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DECEMBER 2022 | 7

Journey House Creates Leaders Through Community

Nestled in Milwaukee’s South Side, there is hope for families who need an extra hand. For 53 years, Journey House has been a community gem, growing and enriching the people who make up a vibrant part of Milwaukee. While the neighborhoods around the community center have changed drastically in that time, the organization has remained a constant source of support.

by and
of
House. 8 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS NEWS
Photos taken
courtesy
Journey
DECEMBER 2022 | 9

IN THE CLASSROOM

Journey House offers a wide variety of programming aimed at personal development and overall community building as well. Through adult education courses and workforce de velopment the organization gives those who have struggled in the past—or those looking for a second chance—a place to grow in education and character. Through programs like trauma resilience training and meditation, teachers and mentors can help rehabilitate the individuals in need. Through workforce programs that teach trades and finan cial planning, they can help their fellow residents grow. The majority of these programs are offered as free resources open to the public.

“We offer basic skills and GED education in both Spanish and English. We are also one of the few agencies that offer six different levels of English courses” explained Cherise Myers, director of community partnerships at Journey House. “One of the highlights is that we have a six-to-nine-week workforce program. It's not just ‘we’re handing you an ap plication,’ either. We go through a training program, where Journey House brings in an expert to help participants in their specialized field, so that they can ultimately interview for a position that they can obtain.”

ON THE FIELD

Engaging the community means engaging the whole family as well. Sports has always been a way to connect people of all backgrounds, and Journey House currently organizes baseball, soccer, basketball and football leagues at their facilities. They hope to further expand into different sports as well. Amongst their amenities is the Journey House Pack ers Stadium, which opened in 2013, and features a former Packers practice facility turf field from the Don Hutson Cen ter. Every year, thousands of fans and players come together at Mitchell Park for leagues ranging from full tackle youth football to the Milwaukee Police Department Flag Football League. The stadium truly acts as a gathering place.

In 2018, Journey House was also part of the group that spearheaded the renovation of the baseball fields at Baran Park, where they now host high school baseball, as well as organized Little League baseball and teeball youth pro grams. The leagues are named in honor of former Milwaukee

Braves player Felix Mantilla, a pioneer as a member of some of baseball's first racially integrated teams; he played for the 1957 World Series champion Braves and was also Hank Aaron’s roommate. The sports leagues are a way to get the youth engaged, but also offer a gateway to be engaged with Journey House’s educational programs.

“In addition to our athletic programs, we once again have our Community Learning Center after school program, which we hadn’t offered since 2019,” said Myers. “We’re pleased to have that open for first through eighth grade, and use the program to focus on academic and educational enrichment, teaching valuable life skills that compliment what they do in the classroom and on the field.”

FOR THE FUTURE

There is a greater good beyond sports leagues and educa tion courses for the individual. Journey House teaches the next generation to be community leaders, while helping current families of South Side neighborhoods overcome adversity. While the COVID-19 pandemic forced Journey House’s community center to shutter its physical location and pivot to virtual programming, the organization is once again returning to its regular schedule, highlighted by the return of its six-week summer camp in 2023. It’s the type of work that, while challenging at times, keeps Myers and her staff going.

“I love how Journey House loves to help and serve our com munity,” said Myers. “Everyone who works here is very com mitted to making sure that the people in our community and the program participants truly are growing and thriving in what they come to Journey House to do. It’s what keeps me at Journey House, and it's what motivates me. I like that we help people become the best version of themselves.”

To find out more about Journey House, visit JourneyHouse.org

Photos taken by and courtesy of Journey House. 10 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS NEWS
Allen
DECEMBER 2022 | 11
MITCHELPARK HORTICULTURAL CONSERVATORY THEDOMES MITCHELPARK HORTICULTURAL CONSERVATORY THEDOMES Will The Domes Finally Receive the Stewardship It Deserves? Will The Domes Finally Receive the Stewardship It Deserves?
12 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS NEWS

Several recent developments could affect the prospects of the Mitch ell Park Horticultural Conservato ry, known widely as The Domes, unless those efforts are thwarted. The trio of beehive-shaped horticultural structures are considered “unique in the world”— and have long been one of Milwaukee’s most beloved places and oases. The Domes were named to the National Trust for Historic Preservation’s 2016 list of America’s 11 Most Endangered Historic Places® and in March 2017 they were designated as a National Treasure by the nonprofit organization. Milwaukee County has long deferred maintenance of the Domes, especial ly the glazing system that covers the structures. Repairing the Domes has been determined to be essential to averting “demolition by neglect.” The Domes were closed twice in the past 15 years because of cracked glass panels and chipping concrete.

COUNTY SUPERVISORS

TAKING THE LEAD

Milwaukee County Supervisor Juan Miguel Martinez, elected to the board last April, has pushed for stewardship of the Domes. “This is a passion of

mine,” he said at a county board meet ing in September. Martinez told fellow parks and culture committee members that this was not his first, nor would it be his last, resolution to help preserve it. Other supervisors have also pushed to allocate funds for the Domes main tenance to make long-term preserva tion of the Domes a priority.

The Domes Task Force, which includ ed county officials and appointed community representatives, wrapped up its work in late 2019. Milwaukee County staff were directed to review recommendations made by that task force, which had enlisted input from several consultants. An overall vision was approved by the task force and the county board. County officials were charged then with developing an ac tionable plan for the Domes but have not yet done so.

NATIONAL REGISTER LISTING

Although National Register listings are integral to the preservation of all types of buildings, landscapes and heritage sites, one county employee recently questioned the value of such a designation for the Domes. James

Tarantino, deputy director for business services of Milwaukee County Parks, said “Being designated on the national or state registry is not just a matter of being on a list. It’s a commitment to an approval process with a separate governing body that I think we should understand a little bit more before pursuing this action.”

However, the Milwaukee County Board of Supervisors voted 15-3 in September to pursue designation of the Domes in the National Register of Historic Plac es. Introduced by Supervisors Martinez and Dyango Zerpa, this was viewed as a positive step forward by advocates hoping to restore the conservatory. “National Register designation can provide recognition and open doors to funding that will help move resto ration forward,” said Jeremy Ebersole, executive director of the Milwaukee Preservation Alliance. He said that it establishes the national significance of a property and paves the way for potential use of historic preservation tax credits for restoration.

Inexplicably, given widespread pub lic support for preserving the Domes,

MITCHELPARK HORTICULTURAL CONSERVATORY THEDOMES MITCHELPARK HORTICULTURAL CONSERVATORY THEDOMES
Photo by Jeff Bentoff. Courtesy of Milwaukee Preservation Alliance. Photos courtesy of Milwaukee Preservation Alliance. DESERT DOME SHOW DOME
DECEMBER 2022 | 13
TROPICAL DOME

County Executive David Crowley ve toed the board’s National Register res olution. He said he does not want the county to pursue historic designation until a “long-term, sustainable plan” has been developed for the Domes and that demolition should be considered. The entire county board abstained from voting on a veto override. That leaves National Register designation of the Domes in limbo.

NO ARPA FUNDING TO REPAIR THE DOMES?

Supervisors Martinez, Zerpa, Ryan Clancy and Felesia Martin sponsored legislation proposing that funds from the American Rescue Plan Act (ARPA) be allocated to the Domes project. The resolution stated that “preser vation and continuity of the Domes has already involved extensive public engagement with broad input and support … and there is no better utility for one-time use of ARPA dollars than to make a transformational invest ment toward ensuring the survival of an iconic and historic community asset such as the Mitchell Park Horticultural Conservatory Domes.”

However, in September, Milwaukee County’s ARPA Task Force rejected that proposal, which had requested $19 million to repair the long-neglected glazing system—the glass and alumi num shell that covers the three conical domes’ underlying concrete structure. The figure is based on a preliminary estimate provided in 2019 by archi tecture and engineering consultant ZS LLC, which is working on a final glazing repair study for the county.

A CONSERVANCY COULD HELP

Since the creation of New York City’s Central Park Conservancy about 40 years ago, this model has been imple mented on behalf of many parks and other public resources. The purpose of a conservancy is to assist in conserv ing a public resource. Conservancies can take multiple forms and often go beyond the scope of a “friends” group. CPC is credited with “saving Central Park,” which remains a fully public park and is owned by the city.

William Lynch, who chaired the Domes Task Force, said recently that numer ous individuals have already informally pledged a commitment to forming such a nonprofit conservancy. “As soon as we are confident that Milwaukee County intends to move forward on conserving the Domes, we will move ahead. It is almost impossible to launch a major community fund-raising effort without the cooperation of the county, which serves as the landlord of the Domes,” Lynch said. He added that he was pleased to see the growing interest of the county board in moving forward with the Domes. “However, I am discouraged by the county execu tive’s veto of the board’s resolution.”

Virginia Small is an award-winning journalist and lifelong writer. She has served as a senior editor for a national magazine, a staff reporter and cultural reviewer for several newspapers, and a contributor to many national and regional publications.

Photo courtesy of Friends of the Domes. Photo by Steling McLean. Courtesy of Milwaukee Preservation Alliance. Photo courtesy of Milwaukee Preservation Alliance.
14 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS NEWS
DECEMBER 2022 | 15

Trump’s Radical Court Is Eager to Restore White Male Supremacy

After destroying nearly 50 years of constitutional protection for reproductive freedom allowing women to make decisions about their own lives, the next item on the agenda of former President Trump’s radical, rightwing Supreme Court is to roll back 45 years of decisions allowing colleges and universities to take race into account to create racially diverse institutions of higher learning.

Despite voters’ widespread rejection of extreme Republicans in the midterms, Trump created a rightwing supermajor ity eager to restore white male suprem acy as if the last half century of prog ress toward guaranteeing equal rights for all Americans never happened.

Trump appointed half of the new 6-3 majority hellbent on overturning laws protecting racial and gender equality most Americans have taken for granted for decades.

The other members of the wrecking crew were appointed by previous Republican presidents—Chief Justice John Roberts and Samuel Alito by George W. Bush and Clarence Thomas by Bush’s father in one of the most cynical court appointments in history. Thomas, the second African American justice ever appointed, replaced civil rights icon Thurgood Marshall and immediately began voting with the most extreme rightwing justices to dismantle civil rights laws.

AGAINST EQUAL RIGHTS

The sudden shock of the court abruptly ending abortion rights most women thought were permanently protected should have shattered the myth that Chief Justice Roberts was a political moderate. Roberts has never support ed equal rights for either women or for racial minorities. Two of his per sonal goals on the court were ending abortion rights and racial remedies for decades of denying equal ed ucational opportunities for Black and brown Americans.

Many Americans don’t realize that. Roberts has always tried to carefully protect his own reputation with the Washington media. Even though twothirds of Americans were appalled by the court destroying abortion rights, many still think Roberts dissented from that decision. He didn’t. Roberts wrote a concurring opinion suggesting the other justices could have just modified Roe v. Wade instead of overturning it. Then Roberts joined them in the 6-3 vote throwing out the whole thing.

Roberts prefers slowly chipping away at women’s rights and minority rights so most Americans don’t realize what they’re losing. He failed when destroying Roe creating a voter backlash in the midterms.

Roberts used a rhetorical trick in 2007 to permanently end court-ordered school desegregation. Roberts wrote a decision turning upside down the meaning of 1954’s landmark Brown v. Board of Education decision declaring racially segregated schools unconstitutional. He falsely claimed Brown made it illegal for officials to assign students to schools based on the color of their skin even if they were doing it to integrate schools instead of segregating them.

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION IS NEXT

The most extreme version of the Rob erts Court yet is now clearly ready to prevent universities and colleges from using race as one factor among others in deciding which qualified students

CLARENCE THOMAS: “I’VE HEARD THE WORD DIVERSITY QUITE A FEW TIMES AND I DON’T HAVE A CLUE WHAT IT MEANS.” YOU COULD IMAGINE THE CHEERS GOING UP FROM WHITE SUPREMACISTS STILL FIGHTING THE RACIAL DIVERSITY OF AMERICA.
NEWS TAKING LIBERTIES 16 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Illustration by Michael Burmesch.

to admit. Since 1978, the court has considered race an important factor in creating the educational benefits of a racially diverse student population.

In the opening hearing on the case, the justices, all with elite educations, had learned very different lessons. With his voice rising in disbelief, Roberts (Harvard) asked the Harvard attorney defending affirmative action: “So we’re talking about race as a determining factor in admission to Harvard?”

Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson (Har vard) considered it absurd if “a univer sity can take into account and value all the other background and personal characteristics of other applicants, but they can’t value race” in admissions. She didn’t say so, but we all remem ber all the ugliness she still faced in America to gain admission to the court despite her stellar legal qualifications.

Justice Sonia Sotomayor (Princeton, Yale) said colleges weren’t giving spe cial advantages to minority students simply by considering whether they had overcome obstacles in their lives. “What the schools are doing is looking at all the factors to try to put the stu dents at the start as equals.”

The reaction of Justice Clarence Thom as (Yale) was typically bizarre. “I’ve heard the word diversity quite a few times and I don’t have a clue what it means.” You could imagine the cheers going up from white supremacists still fighting the racial diversity of America.

As an Indiana kid from a racially isolat ed small town of about 3,000, I know how profoundly it shaped my life to

work and socialize with bright students of different races and cultural back grounds at Indiana University. Creating racially diverse, multicultural universi ties benefits all students.

The majority justices repeatedly asked university officials how soon affir mative action would end. It was an insincere question. Those justices fully intend to end it.

But the real answer is America should never stop creating racially diverse colleges and universities to provide educational opportunities for all Americans. That should be the definition of American education and it should be affordable.

Joel McNally was a critic and colum nist for the Milwaukee Journal for 27 years. He has written the weekly Tak ing Liberties column for the Shepherd Express since 1996.

DECEMBER 2022 | 17
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS PREFERS SLOWLY CHIPPING AWAY AT WOMEN’S RIGHTS AND MINORITY RIGHTS SO MOST AMERICANS DON’T REALIZE WHAT THEY’RE LOSING. HE FAILED WHEN DESTROYING ROE CREATING A VOTER BACKLASH IN THE MIDTERMS.

Happy Holidays? Ił Depends

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?” John Lennon asked in his holiday ballad, Happy Xmas. For many of us, the answer is, “Stressed myself out.” By now, large swaths of the populace are suffering the pan theon of symptoms stemming from holiday stress—hurry sickness, mental fatigue, irritability, sleep deprivation, de creased immunity, family conflicts and the like. However, is this condition really that bad? Do we over-hype the mental wear and tear from “the most wonderful time of the year?”

Not so much. Stress is, in part, a perceptual issue, mean ing what we see is what we get. And a lot of us see the holidays as a relentless juggernaut of tasks, expectations, timelines and obligations. If we interpret an experience as stressful, then as far as the brain and body are concerned, it is. And reputable surveys show over 80 percent of us view this time of year as more mentally and emotionally taxing than any other. What’s more, this stress burden falls disproportionately on women, who are often saddled with the lion’s share of holiday preparations. Interestingly, folks under 25 report less stress during the run-up to Thanksgiv ing, Christmas and New Year’s. It seems being more dug in with one’s life (career, marriage, kids, mortgage, etc.) adds to the strain.

Causes? Several familiar suspects emerge. First off is task overload. Piling more to-dos on an already crowded schedule is a recipe for mental and physical fatigue. For many, particularly women, there’s little or no break from work and domestic duties this time of year, so holiday preparations escalate the toil and trouble. Once we reach a half dozen or more items on our to-do list, the mental juggling act starts overwhelming the brain’s capacity to stay organized and focused.

HURRY SICK?

Next is hurry sickness. Because time is a finite resource, rushing to get things done is a recipe for losing it. And that’s pretty much what hurry sick people do . . . lose it. Behavioral scientists report a direct link between hurrying and being ticked off. This phenomenon is on full display on our roadways. Of interest, one survey found “other shop pers” are a major source of stress for many. Why? Because they clog up the works, eating away at that narrow time window many set aside for getting the gifts done. We impede each other, and hurry sick folks react with irritation right up to rage.

Another pain point? Finances. This is a perennial holiday stressor, particularly for lower socioeconomic folks, made worse this year by inflation. The commercialization of Christmas imposes cultural expectations around gift-

giving that compel many to overspend or, absent that, to feel guilty about not doing enough. It’s no easy task to ignore the avalanche of media messages that equate gifting with showing our love. Bah humbug, cause it just ain’t so.

There are other stressors, of course. Family dysfunction often peaks during holiday gatherings. Many eat and drink alcohol to excess. Sleep suffers. Seasonal surges in illnesses disrupt plans. Travel chaos increases. The lonely suffer more. Ironically, many of us errantly address holiday stress by becoming more sedentary, overeating, hitting the bottle and increasing our time on screens. Not helpful. So, what to do?

• Start early . . . next year. Shop for Christmas throughout the year, rather than cramming it into the holiday season. This combats hurry sickness.

• Less stuff. Positive experiences make us happier than fancy things. In lieu of purchased gifts, give others more of your time, attention or homemade presents. This reduces task overload.

• Lower expectations. The more joy and familial harmony you expect, the more likely you’ll be disappointed. Dial down your emotional reactivity by lowering the expectational bar.

• Exercise. You hear this constantly . . . because it works. Cardio exercise lowers stress/anxiety by as much as 60 percent from baseline.

• Restraint. Unhealthy foods and alcohol are psychoactive drugs. We pay for the short-term buzz with long-term blur and blah.

• Feed the soul. Contemplative practices, prayer, nature immersion, caroling and other spiritual experiences help us see through the stress-inducing holiday fog to what matters most.

Bottom line? Holiday stress arises more from our decisions than our circumstances. And if there’s a silver lining to this unwelcome condition, that exists in its ability to teach us, albeit the hard way, how to change our holiday habits to avoid devolving into the Grinch who stole Christmas.

Philip Chard is a psychotherapist and author with a focus on lasting behavior change, emotional healing and adaptation to health challenges. For more, visit philipchard.com.

NEWS ISSUE OF THE MONTH 18 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS
DECEMBER 2022 | 19

Gabriel Thomas Brings Light to Vacant Buildings

20 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS NEWS HERO OF THE MONTH
Photo by Erin Bloodgood.

Milwaukee has roughly 2,500 vacant properties across the city, a problem that weighs more heavily on pre dominantly Black and Latino neighborhoods. Research has shown that vacant houses attract crime, are easier to set on fire, and can lower the value of homes nearby.

The difference in number of boarded up buildings between neighborhoods is obvious as one drives from the East Side to the North Side or central parts of the city. Those neglect ed spaces are blatant visuals of the disparities in our city.

Gabriel Thomas, a local artist is trying to change that. When most people see a forgotten space, he sees potential. Since 2020, he has painted murals on boarded windows around the city to bring about love and positive energy.

“I fill a void,” says Thomas. “It’s a symbol of freedom. When you’re doing something positive, the world is yours.”

FILLING VACANT SPACES

Originally inspired by the Milwaukee artist Ras ‘Ammar Nsoroma, Thomas began painting images on vacant spaces in the middle of the pandemic while living in Dallas, Texas before moving back to Milwaukee that same year. While everyone was inside and isolated, he was painting to inspire people and uplift spirits.

“I needed to release the pain inside of me that I was seeing in the world,” he says.

Art has always been a peaceful escape for Thomas. He grew up on 38th and Galena, often drawing and making art as a child. “It was rough,” he says. “I’m just thankful for the knowl edge that was instilled on me to make it to live to this age. A lot of people didn’t make it.”

Thomas is all too used to seeing boarded buildings, but he has turned the challenges in his life into works of art that color the streets of Milwaukee. By depicting experiences and struggles that viewers relate to, he makes something more than art – he inspires community connection. Rath er than an eyesore in their neighborhood, people can see themselves in his paintings.

You can find some of his pieces on Holton and Concor dia, one of which shows two people sharing their hearts in a romantic scene. Across the street is a portrait of a woman who struggles with leukemia. That piece, “You Are Enough,” showcases her strength and resilience as she battles her disease.

The issue of vacant buildings continues to loom over Mil waukee and affect the people living nearby, but as Gabriel Thomas continues to create art, he is painting hope.

Find Gabriel Thomas’ artwork on his Instagram @gabriel.7911.

Erin Bloodgood is a Milwaukee photographer and storyteller. See more of her work on her website at www.bloodgoodfoto.com.

Photos by Erin Bloodgood. “You Are Enough." Gabriel Thomas Holton and Concordia “One Love.” Gabriel Thomas Holton and Concordia
DECEMBER 2022 | 21

The New Sheriff in Town

MILWAUKEE’S FIRST FEMALE SHERIFF TALKS ABOUT THE CHALLENGE

Over the past generation, the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office has been controversial. Sheriff David Clarke served from 2002-2017 and took a hard-nosed approach to law enforcement. In late 2018, Earnell Lucas was elected sheriff, and had to deal with protests and unrest over the George Floyd murder and a creeping critique of police officers. Lucas chose not to run for reelection. Meanwhile, the Milwaukee Sheriff’s Office faces the challenge of increasing criminal activity, speeding, and reckless driving.

Enter Denita Ball, who ran for sheriff unopposed in the August primary and became acting sheriff with Lucas’ resignation in October. Her first term will begin on Jan. 2, 2023. I wanted to learn about her management style and the future of policing in Milwaukee County. I met her in her Downtown office in the Milwaukee County Safety Building.

Ball is quite tall, and presents a strong presence, but her demeanor is soft spoken and sincere. I got the sense that she wants to change the climate of the Sheriff’s Office to be more open and available to city leaders and the public.

Photo by Tom Jenz.
22 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS NEWS MKE SPEAKS: CONVERSATIONS WITH MILWAUKEEANS

You are an accomplished individual, having led a remarkable life. You’ve overcome very difficult obstacles including the death of your devoted grandmother, then being a foster child, and later defeating cancer, to name a few of those obstacles. Tell me about your history, where you grew up, your parents, neighborhoods and schools you attended. I’m from a small town, Crossett, Arkansas, less than 7,000 residents. I was born to a single mom. My mom wasn’t pre pared to raise a child, and so my grandmother raised me. She laid the foundation of faith in God, the importance of an education and hard work. I remember her spending $500 on encyclopedias and Childcraft books so I could learn about the world.

When I was 12, she passed, and that was hard on me. My mom was in the picture, but she was living in Milwaukee. I was fostered by my friend’s family in my neighborhood. My first job was at age 9, mowing the church lawn. I also worked part time cleaning a truck rest stop. In high school, I was popular, easy to get along with, and joined a lot of activities. After high school, I got an academic scholarship to the Uni versity of Arkansas Fayetteville and graduated with honors with a degree in Criminal Justice. My plan was to work in probation or be a parole officer.

How did you end up in Milwaukee and make a career in law enforcement? Take me through your career path, the various jobs you held and finally how you became the next Sheriff of Milwaukee County.

After college, I moved to Milwaukee because I needed to help take care of my mom who was sick. There were no openings in probation/parole, so I worked at a bank Mon day through Saturday mornings. Saturday and Sunday evenings, I worked in an internship program at a factory. I ended up applying at the Milwaukee Police Department and became a police officer. My plan was to work as a police officer for five years and then go to law school.

I was hired in 1985, and after I completed the training academy and my field training program, I was transferred to District 2 on Lincoln Avenue, the south side. It was mostly white residents back then. Women were still new to policing. I was later assigned to District 5 on Locust Street on the North Side. I did not end up going to law school because I enjoyed being a police officer and making a difference in the lives of others.

Along the way, I was promoted several ranks, and I also earned my master’s degree from UWM in criminal justice administration. After 25 years as a police officer, I retired from the Milwaukee Police Department at the rank of dep uty inspector and was hired by Bryant & Stratton College to teach criminal justice classes, and I managed their entire criminal justice program for all three locations. Meanwhile, I was teaching at Cardinal Stritch where I earned my Ph.D. in educational leadership.

At some point in your journey, you were diagnosed with cancer. Can you share that experience?

That was in 2008. It was Stage 4 breast cancer and a very scary time. During surgery, the doctor found it had spread into my lymph nodes. Some of the lymph nodes were re moved, and I had aggressive chemotherapy and radiation. I also had a left breast mastectomy. But I am here today, cancer free.

Then eventually, you got back into policing on the county level. How did that come about?

In 2018, Sheriff-Elect Earnell Lucas asked if I’d run the dayto-day operations of the department as his chief deputy sheriff. In 2019, I started my new job. When Sheriff Lucas de cided to run for mayor and not run again as sheriff, he told me I should consider running for sheriff. I’d never run for elec tive office, but I gave it a try and won the primary election in August and will be unopposed in November.

What types of criminal behavior is the County Sheriff’s Office responsible for as compared to the city police?

We are responsible for crimes committed at the airport, and on state and county roads—speeding, reckless driving, ac cidents, auto thefts, shootings, etc. We are also responsible for policing the county parks. We cover the courthouse, and we oversee the Downtown county jail and the administrative office where you and I are now. We will also help the various municipal departments in the county when needed.

Recently, I did a story on Chantell Jewell, Superintendent of the County House of Correction in Franklin. She gave me a tour of the jail. It is very large but functional. What is the difference between your Downtown jail and her Franklin jail? Both are county jails, right?

The House of Correction in Franklin handles persons who have been sentenced to serve jail time for minor offenses and have been sentenced to a year or less. Generally, they are not violent crimes. We house pre-sentenced arrestees until they go to court, are sentenced, or are released either on their own recognizance or have posted bail. Presently, we have close to 200 persons in our care who have been charged with homicide and are waiting to go to trial. These homicide defendants will probably be in our custody for two to three years. We presently have a total of 915 jail occupants. Our capacity maximum is 960. Keep in mind we are responsible for both city and county arrestees who are brought to our jail.

In my article on the Public Defenders Office, I asked veteran public defender Jeff Schwarz if criminals with mental health problems should be placed in a state institution. Jeff told me, and I quote, “In Wisconsin, there are two state mental institutions, Mendota in Madison and Winnebago in Oshkosh. If a client is found mentally incompetent or not guilty by reason of

DECEMBER 2022 | 23

mental disease, they have to wait in the local county jail until there is an opening in a state institution. The jail is filled with people who are mentally ill because they can’t get into the state institutions which are at capacity.” Would you say this is true?

Yes, this is true. But our Downtown jail does have a mental health program where mental health professionals help our occupants who’ve been deemed mentally incompetent. We do not want to make them wait for treatment until there is an opening at a state mental health facility. We start the treatment while they are in our jail waiting to have their day in court and for a bed to become available in a state men tal facility. Wellpath HealthCare is our contracted health provider. Their staff work on our mental health floor, which is a separate area from the general jail population. We work in tandem with the Wellpath personnel to make sure those with mental health needs are being met.

I’ve read that as the chief deputy sheriff for Milwaukee County, you have played a pivotal part of the significant improvements that have been made in the department, including turning around the formerly poor safety conditions in the county jail. What changes were made?

The main thing is that we changed health providers to Well path because our previous health provider was not meeting the needs of our jail population. Then, we also increased the number of staff to give top notch humane treatment to residents. We were certified by the National Commis sion on Correctional Healthcare and received the Gold Standard Rating.

I know that people of color are over-represented in the criminal justice system. In fact, Milwaukee County has one of the highest per capita incarceration rates for Black men in the country. Do you see racial disparities in the jail system?

The jail population is mirroring the victims of crimes in our neighborhoods and those who are committing them. So yes, our jail is filled with an over-representation of African Americans.

What needs to be improved about the County Sheriff’s Office after you take office?

A major priority is to ensure we have enough staffing. For example, because of a shortage of jail staff, we currently are using 20 deputies to temporarily work as correction offi cers in our jail. That means those deputies in the jail are not working at the airport, in the parks or patrolling our roads.

Are you not able to hire quality people to staff the jail?

We are, but their salaries are too low. For example, Racine raised their starting salary to nearly $30 per hour, and they are fully staffed. Recently, we received an increase of $3 per hour, but that only raises our people’s salary to $24 per hour.

Let me bring up some controversy. Ryan Clancy is presently a county supervisor. He wrote this to me, “Chief Deputy Ball testified in front of the Judiciary and Law Enforcement Committee in July that committee members would finally have access to the cells and common areas at the jail. This was after over a year of denied requests. But leadership has refused to reply to written requests to set up a date for that access. Previous tours have only included the administrative area, not the common areas. I get emails reporting inhumane conditions.”

I dispute a lot of what the supervisor stated, particularly his use of “finally” and denied requests. Supervisor Clancy must have forgotten that he has had two tours of the jail. The first was with Supervisor Sumner and the second was with Coun ty Supervisor Haas. I was on his last tour with Supervisor Haas, Supervisor Clancy did have an opportunity to tour the common areas of the jail, including the booking room, the property area, a housing unit floor, and other housing units. This tour was via high definition cameras in our administra tive area. The only reason he did not go to the cell area was because of COVID precautions. Also, if they wanted to, the jail occupants who were vaccinated were able to talk with them and did so for over an hour.

Just to get this straight, county supervisors are allowed to visit the jail, right?

Correct. County supervisors can visit the jail. For example, recently Supervisor Vincent was given a tour, and we have extended the invitation to others. However, with our staffing issues, there are safety concerns. Another thing: The impres sion that some people are giving is that we are mistreating our occupants, and we are preventing political leaders from seeing what is going on in the jail. That is not the case! Also, remember that currently crime in the city and county is through the roof, and we need the police and a strong system of justice. The county supervisors should work with us because we all want a safe environment for our citizens. Just so it’s clear, many of them do work with us. I will leave it at that.

What would you say is the most challenging part of the job as county sheriff?

I think the most challenging part is dealing with the differ ent stakeholders who are looking at law enforcement from their lenses instead of seeing it from our viewpoint. We are looking at how we deploy our resources to the public, and the public needs to receive the services they pay for with their taxes. We work with the county board and the supervi sors who sometimes question our effectiveness and ask for various reports. We are responsible for public safety. If there is not public safety, people will not utilize the county parks. If there is not public safety, we will not get people to visit our various communities. Remember, tourists and visitors spend money, which helps expand our economy.

24 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS NEWS MKE SPEAKS: CONVERSATIONS WITH MILWAUKEEANS
Tom Jenz writes the Central City Stories column for shepherdexpress.com.

Whole Egg Hot Chocolate Cocoa

The hot cocoa in my life had never been acceptable. It was always too thin and runny. Too much like liquid, and I didn’t want liquid. I wanted a dense chocolate cloud in which to lose my sense of direction. To my great joy and greater girth, I finally solved the mystery of how to manifest this vision into reality. My thick hot chocolate is everything I yearned for.

The body of this drinkable soufflé comes from whole eggs. I start by following the example of the Viennese, who fa mously add egg yolk to their cocoa to create a decadently smooth, glossy brown emulsion. But unlike the Austrians I don’t neglect the whites. Rather, I beat them stiff, and then whisk the stiff whites into my cocoa.

Unlike whipped cream and other culinary foams, stiff whites won’t dissolve in heat. Their enduring density comes from the egg white proteins, aligned by the action of the whisk into fiber-like structures that persist in the chocolat ey brew. The egg whites make the cocoa so thick and so puffy it’s like drinking a chocolate cloud as the chocolate cloud drinks you.

On New Year’s Eve, doctor the drinking chocolate with Kahlua. The following morning—New Year’s Day—add some of this puffy cocoa foam to a cup of coffee, where it will float like professionally steamed milk. Without mixing with the coffee, the cocoa will still manage to hitch a ride in each sip. As a pair of stimulants, coffee and chocolate act greater than the sum of the parts, because the theobromine in chocolate and caffeine in coffee are mutually enhancing, as you stare piercingly into the blank canvas that is the year to come.

When hot cocoa can be simultaneously so thick and so silky, anything is possible. So be firm with your principles, flexible with your expecta tions, and perfect with your hot cocoa, and you will crush 2022.

FOOD & DRINK FLASH IN THE PAN 26 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Heavenly, Earthy, Perfect Cocoa

Here is my recipe for the thickest, fluffiest and most satisfy ing hot cocoa on the planet. It’s your shield against the cold dark days to come. And you can make as much as you want, without a prescription.

• 2 tablespoons butter

• ½ cup semi sweet chips

• 1 tablespoon vanilla

• 2 cups milk

• 3 tablespoons cocoa powder

• 2 tablespoons sugar

• 1 cup heavy cream

• Pinch nutmeg (optional)

• 2 eggs

On low heat, melt the butter. Add the vanilla and chocolate chips and mix together without letting anything stick or burn. Add the cocoa powder and stir it in, quickly followed by about half of milk to dissolve any lumps and prevent burning. When it’s smooth, add the cream, nutmeg and the rest of the milk. Slowly bring the cocoa to a simmer,

Separate the eggs, putting the yolks and whites into sepa rate mixing bowls. As the cocoa heats, gently add a tea spoon of cocoa to the yolks, stirring vigorously. Do this again and again until the temperature rises. This tempers the yolks, making them heat resistant, so we don’t end up with scrambled eggs in our cocoa. Add the hot, tempered yolks to the pot of hot cocoa. Stir it in well. Turn off the heat. While the cocoa cools, use a whisk to beat

If you aren’t immunocompromised or otherwise wary of undercooked eggs, you can scoop some of those stiff whites into a cup and pour the cocoa over them, stirring in as much or little as you wish. The bland flavor of the egg whites makes for a fun contrast with the cocoa, and you can eat it with a spoon. Alternatively, let the cocoa cool to room temperature. Fold in the whites and gently reheat, whisking in the whites until perfectly smooth and thick as wet cement. However you serve it, you’ll need a spoon to finish the job.

To float some of this foam on coffee, spoon some into a cup and pour the coffee into it. Then drink your cof fee through the cocoa, as you would sip your brew with any nutritious breakfast.

Ari LeVaux has written about food for The Atlantic Online, Outside Online and Alternet.

Chocolate/whisk photos by pamela_d_mcadams/Getty Images. DECEMBER 2022 | 27
Photo by Ari LeVaux.

Milwaukee’s pro teams rise and fall over the seasons, but you can count one sports event to be a winner each year: the Harlem Globetrotters. They have been a New Year’s Eve fixture for longer than most of us have been alive, and they’re returning for two games on Dec. 31 at Fiserv Forum, 1 p.m. and 6 p.m.

But there are many other things to do in Milwaukee as the calendar flips to a new year. You can check out the “Fantastic Forest” display of 50

holiday trees decorated by local youth or the colorful illumination of “Wild Lights” at the Milwaukee County Zoo. The Milwaukee Public Museum is open during the day with holiday displays and Downtown’s Holiday Lights will still be gleaming.

Many clubs and venues did not announce their plans for Dec. 31 as we went to press. Please check Events at shepherdexpress.com for more information.

28 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE
Photo by Joel Miller. Courtesy of Milwaukee County Zoo. WILD LIGHTS Photo courtesy of The Harlem Globetrotters.
DECEMBER 2022 | 29
THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS

SKYLIGHT MUSIC THEATRE A JOLLY HOLIDAY @ BROADWAY

THEATRE CENTER

Featuring songs from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Mary Poppins, Newsies and many more, the show will delight any fan with a world of Disney magic. “The focus is on families and friends, no matter what holidays anyone does or does not celebrate,” says Skylight’s Michael Unger. “The goal is to share the joy, emotion, and fun inspired by the incredible Disney songs we know and love.”

HORSESHOES & HAND GRENADES W/ BUFFALO GOSPEL

@ TURNER HALL BALLROOM, 8 P.M.

With over a decade of making music together, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades recent album, For Old Time’s Sake finds the acoustic quartet in a thoughtful mood. Built around traditional tunes (“Darlin’ Corey,” “Silver Dagger,” Ain’t Gonna Grieve My Lord No More”) and almost-traditional tunes (“Tennessee Waltz”), the band simply adds more chapters to a voluminous creel already packed with songs that often conjure Wisconsin waters and regions. Openers Buffalo Gospel is a perfect match; Ryan Necci’s songs traffic in the tradition of greats like John Prine and Townes Van Zandt.

GAGA @ SHANK HALL, 8 P.M.

Paws up for this Lady Gaga tribute New Year’s Eve bash, with Cynthia Starich as Lady Gaga. Dazzling stage props, video visuals, and dramatic custom costumes. The evening will feature Starich’s original band as the show's opening act, featuring material from her second studio album, Heart of Steel

Celebrate New Year’s Eve with Johnny Rodgers and his musicians as they pay tribute to the music by “The Boss.” You’ll also hear the greatest hits of Huey Lewis, Phil Collins, Rod Stewart and other rock legends of the ‘70s and ‘80s.

Background and illustrations
Yufa. 30 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE
by Sophie
TRIBUTE
THE LITTLE MONSTERS -
TO LADY
GLORY DAYS: BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN & FRIENDS TRIBUTE @ SUNSET PLAYHOUSE, 7:30
P.M.

Bluey’s Big Play is a brand-new theatrical adaptation of the Emmy® award-winning children’s television series. Join the Heelers in their first live theater show made just for you, featuring brilliantly created puppets

STELLAR SPARK NEW YEAR’S EVE WEEKEND

@ THE RAVE

The party is on every New Year’s Eve at The Rave, with Stellar Spark Events throwing their annual EDM music event. This year’s is a two-night affair (Friday and Saturday), featuring a major lineup of DJs, headlined by DJ Diesel, better known as NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal. While Diesel will headline the Friday festivities, New Year’s Eve is capped off by SuddenDeath, on a bill that features 13 different artists on the turntables that night alone. There is plenty of music happening at The Rave on both nights, so prepare to dance until dawn for the whole weekend.

Photo courtesy of The Rave. Photo courtesy of The Rave. THE RAVE Background and illustrations by Sophie Yufa.
BLUEY’S BIG PLAY THE STAGE SHOW @ MILLER HIGH LIFE THEATRE, 10 A.M., 1 P.M. AND 4 P.M.
32 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL NEW
EVE GUIDE
DJ DIESEL
YEAR'S

MILWAUKEE’S BIGGEST NYE PARTY

@ POTAWATOMI HOTEL & CASINO, 8 P.M.

Celebrate the new year in style at Potawatomi Hotel & Casino this year! Enjoy exciting casino gaming like nowhere else with DJs all through the night. With the recent renovations on both the casino and hotel side of things, you can enjoy top-notch entertainment and accommodations no matter what your plan is for the evening. Check out Marcell & Christopher's Project at Bar 360, 8 p.m.

NEW YEAR'S EVE @ SAFEHOUSE MILWAUKEE, 10 P.M.

Looking for a unique theme to your New Year's Eve? Look no further than Milwaukee’s storied SafeHouse, with an evening that includes spies, drinks and a DJ to dance the night away to, as well. Ticket packages are available now, and include a midnight toast, all-you-can-drink cocktails, wine, and beer, and a buffet as well.

Photo courtesy of VISIT Milwaukee.
POTAWATOMI HOTEL & CASINO
Photo courtesy of VISIT Milwaukee.
DECEMBER 2022 | 33
SAFEHOUSE MILWAUKEE

THE MIRAMAR THEATRE

The Miramar Theatre building on Oakland Ave. has held various stints as a nightclub over the course of its history, but none like what Brew City Bass have created when they took over the East Side venue. Major headliners from the EDM and house music worlds are known to tour through the Miramar, and that will once again be the case on this New Year’s Eve. Their NYE parties generally sell out, so check the venue’s website and social media for ticket information.

It’s been 15 years since George Carlin, the man who made the Wisconsin-bred comedian want to make comedy his livelihood, passed away, but the memory of his lively, caustic energy lives on. “Always loved Carlin,” Craig beams. “He was so unapologetic and got people so riled up about the truth. I only got to see him once. I went by myself to the Rosemount Theatre. After the show started, I ran up and sat in the front row; it was awesome.”

ALUMINUM KNOT EYE AND DJ @ CIRCLE A, 8 P.M.

As per tradition, Aluminum Knot Eye will rather noisily kick the old year out the door with their high-energy performance.

Milwaukee’s Flood Brothers are a veteran five-piece band playing “that further than folk thing” in the suitably intimate setting of one of Milwaukee’s favorite neighborhood music clubs.

Background and illustrations by Sophie Yufa. Photo by Michael Burmesch.
NATE CRAIG @ THE LAUGHING TAP, 7:30 AND 10:15 P.M.
THE FLOOD BROTHERS W/ THE SOULFOOT MOMBITS @ LINNEMAN’S RIVERWEST INN, 7:30 P.M.
34 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE
LINNEMAN'S RIVERWEST INN MASON STREET GRILLE
he holiday season is often a whirlwind of shopping, activities, and parties. With such a packed calendar, who has time or energy to cook Christmas dinner? Instead of slaving away in the kitchen this year, give yourself a break and let the pros handle the cooking for a festive Christmas day brunch or dinner at one of these many fine establishments open on December 25. Most places require reservations, so make sure you plan ahead as seating can be limited. ARIA - THE RESTAURANT AT SAINT KATE (414) 270-4422 139 E. Kilbourn Ave. saintkatearts.com EMPEROR OF CHINA (414) 271-8889 1010 E. Brady St. emperorofchinarestaurant.com Where to Dine on December 2 5 ?
Photo by Tia Brindel. Courtesy of Mason Street Grille.
T
HORSE HOTEL
St.
N.
Luther King Drive
FISH
BROOKFIELD
Road
36 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL HOLIDAY DINING
THE IRON
(414) 374-4766 500 W. Florida
theironhorsehotel.com MADER’S (414) 271-3377 1041
Martin
madersrestaurant.com MASON STREET GRILL (414) 298-3131 425 E. Mason St. masonstreetgrill.com MITCHELL’S
MARKET -
(262) 789-2426 275 N. Moorland
mitchellsfishmarket.com
DECEMBER 2022 | 37

OLD TOWN SERBIAN

GOURMET RESTAURANT

(414) 672-0206 522 W. Lincoln Ave. oldtownserbian.com

THE PACKING HOUSE

(414) 483-5054 900 E. Layton Ave. packinghousemke.com

THE PFISTER (414) 935-5950 424 E. Wisconsin Ave. thepfisterhotel.com

TEXAS DE BRAZIL

(414) 501-7100 2550 N. Mayfair Road texasdebrazil.com/locations/milwaukee

TRE RIVALI

(414) 291-3971 200 N. Broadway (in the Klimpton Journeyman Hotel) trerivalirestaurant.com

SINGH THAI

(414) 541-1234 2237 S. 108th St. singhathaimilwaukee.com

Susan Harpt Grimes is a regular contributor to shepherdexpress.com.

Photo by Tia Brindel. Courtesy of Saint Kate - The Arts Hotel. ARIA - THE RESTAURANT AT SAINT KATE Photo courtesy of The Packing House. THE PACKING HOUSE
38 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL HOLIDAY DINING

A Holiday CockTail Guide A Holiday CockTail Guide A Holiday CockTail Guide

It’s Christmas morning. It’s eleven o’clock. The afternoon and evening hours of Christmas Day stretch before you, for many the most anticipated hours of the year.

You’re exhausted.

The long holiday shifts, the late holiday parties, the shop ping for holiday gifts, the sundry holiday dramas—they’re catching up with you.

The late morning and early afternoon of Christmas Day are holiday witching hours, hours of holiday acedia, hours which call for a holiday tipple or two. Here are recipes for three holiday cocktails—one sparkling, one coffee and one sour — adapted from Peterson’s Holiday Helper, with notes from Valerie Peterson. All three cocktails are ideal for the witching hours of Christmas Day or any hour of the holiday season.

Christmas Consolation

“My family traditionally has had neighbors pop in late Christmas morning for a casual holiday toast and visit. Since we’ve usually been up since the wee hours cooking and prepping, our rule is ‘no alcohol until the first guest arrives.’ When the doorbell rings, we crack the bubbly and mix the sparkling drinks—a festive way to start the day.

“This cocktail was inspired by those who didn’t get the gift they wanted but are making the best of it. It’s best when the fruit is steeped in the liqueur the night before (very quick), can be easily doubled or tripled, and is suitable for New Year’s Day brunch, too.”

Serves 6

• 1 cup fresh or frozen raspberries, plus another 1/4 cup more for garnish

• 1 cup elderflower liqueur

• 1 750-milliliter bottle of prosecco or cava, well chilled

The day before serving, combine one cup of raspberries and the elderflower syrup. Refrigerate, covered, to steep. When serving, divide the berries and steeped liqueur among six sparkling wine flutes or coupes. Top with the chilled spar kling wine. Plop a few raspberries into each glass and serve.

Illustrations by DiViArt/Getty Images. DECEMBER 2022 | 39

Double-stick Spiked Coffee

“Whether served at brunch or after dinner, the Drambuie gives this coffee beverage a bit of complexity as well as a kick and the butterscotch makes it a real treat.”

Serves 1

• 1 ounce Drambuie

• 1 ounce butterscotch schnapps

• 6 ounces (3/4 cup) piping hot, strong, freshly brewed coffee

• Whipped cream

• Butterscotch sauce (optional)

Pour the Drambuie and the butterscotch schnapps into an Irish coffee glass or mug. Add the coffee and stir. Garnish with whipped cream and a scant drizzle of butterscotch sauce (if desired).

Santa’s Helper Scotch Holiday Sour

“Developed for those who spent all night assembling the bikes or wrapping the gifts, this is a great cocktail for the holiday's ‘happy hour’, when the host or hostess can finally sit down and relax.”

Serves 1

• 2 ounces Scotch whiskey

• 1 ounce cherry-flavored brandy

• 1/2 ounce sweet vermouth

• 2 teaspoons simple syrup (see note)

• 3/4 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice

• 1 green and 1 red maraschino cherry, for garnish

Pour the Scotch, cherry brandy, vermouth, simple syrup, and lemon juice into a shake filled with ice. Shake well (until condensation forms on the entire shaker). Strain the mixture into a sour glass or a highball glass filled with ice. Garnish with the cherries.

Note: To make simple syrup: Put 1 cup sugar and 1 cup water in a small saucepan. Bring to a simmer, stirring occasionally until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is clear. Syrup will last for weeks when stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator and can be used to sweeten non-alcoholic drinks, as well.

Advice to Holiday Party Hosts and Guests

“If serving special holiday beverages, the hosts should set up the bar ahead of time and be sure to keep the fresh ly-squeezed juices chilled. They may want to assign ‘the bartender’ who’s willing to make drinks as guests arrive or as refills are needed. Alternately, print the recipes, put out the equipment and let guests do their own refills.

“Have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages on hand for hydra tion and for the teetotalers. And, if you’re heading to a party, Peterson’s Holiday Helper advises ‘... please select desig nated drivers, and lavish said drivers with gifts. They are helping to preserve your safety during the holiday season as much as the recipes in here might help to preserve your sanity.’”

Gaetano Marangelli is a sommelier and playwright. He was the managing director of a wine import and distribution company in New York and beverage director for restau rants and retailers in New York and Chicago before moving to Wauwatosa.

Illustrations by DiViArt/Getty Images. 40 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL HOLIDAY DRINK GUIDE

Warm Up This Winter ał These Cozy Spots

Wisconsin winters are long, cold, and some times isolating. After two years of COVID-19 winters cooped up in our houses, it’s time to enjoy cozy spots around town to socialize and sit by someone else’s fireplace for a change. Plus, you don’t have to make your food or pour your own drinks at these places, like you would have to at home.

While the pandemic gave us weatherized dining pati os, there’s nothing like being warm and inside enjoying all this city has to offer in the dead of winter. From Up North-themed bars to fancy cocktail lounges, beer halls to tiki bars, and even jazz venues, Milwaukee has everything you need to go out on the town in the warmth and perhaps with a liquid jacket.

JAZZ CLUBS

JAZZ ESTATE

2423 N. Murray Ave.

Under new ownership (by Bryant’s Cocktail Lounge), the Jazz Estate is the East Side’s premier jazz bar and lounge welcoming well known jazz acts and creating craft cocktails to-order.

CAROLINE’S

401 S. Second St.

Walker’s Point has many deep-rooted Milwaukee establishments, including Caroline’s jazz club. Even if you’re not into jazz, the vibe is infectious, and you might even be lucky enough to meet Caroline herself.

BLU (AT THE PFISTER HOTEL)

424 E. Wisconsin Ave.

If you’re interested in jazz with a view, look no further than Blu atop the Pfister Hotel in Downtown Milwaukee. Whether you’re a guest of the hotel or looking for a sophisticated night of drinks, this is worth the stop (and sometimes the wait).

TIKI BARS

FOUNDATION

2718 N. Bremen St.

One of Riverwest’s more well-known establishments has continued to be popular even as other tiki bars open up around the city. Authentic cocktails served in proper tiki glassware will make you feel like you’re anywhere but Milwaukee on a cold winter night.

REDBAR

2245 E.

St. Francis Ave., St Francis

From the outside, Redbar looks like a BBQ joint/sports bar, but if you go upstairs, you’re entered into another world—one of fruity cocktails, palm tree leaves, and bamboo thatched furniture. It’s great if you’re with a group of different interests on a Saturday night.

WAUWATIKI’S BAR AND GRILL

6502 W. North Ave.

Located in the heart of North Ave nue’s rising food and beverage scene, Wauwatiki is a great spot to grab a bite, have some drinks, and even watch some sports. Think of this as a tiki bar lite where you’re not signing up for an evening of island life but you certainly can get it.

42 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL HOLIDAY DRINK GUIDE
Photo courtesy of VISIT Milwaukee. JAZZ ESTATE
DECEMBER 2022 | 43

COCKTAIL LOUNGES

AT RANDOM

2501 S. Delaware Ave.

While no longer open literally at ran dom as it was previously, the vibe is the same kind of Bay View speakeasy everyone remembers. At Random is now equipped with outdoor seating to combat winter conditions while en joying a cocktail if you’d rather not be seated inside in comfy booths, bathed in romantic lighting. Oh, and they have the greatest boozy ice cream drinks in town! Reservations are a good idea.

BOONE & CROCKETT

818 S. Water St.

Whatever the season, Boone & Crock ett can fit your fancy. Now that patio season is over, moving inside this rep utable Walker’s Point spot on the river will really feel cozy with the taxidermy, housemade cocktails, and various events hosted in the Cooperage event space throughout the winter months.

BRYANT’S COCKTAIL LOUNGE

1579 S. Ninth St.

Part of the same family of cocktail lounges as At Random but in Walker’s Point, Bryant’s is another hot spot for winter drinking and sometimes can get busy leaving those waiting out in the cold. A reservation is smart on the weekends, and you can tell the bar tender what type of drinks you like for a customized drink order.

BURNHEARTS

2599 S. Logan Ave.

Burnhearts is another Bay View staple, giving off nautical hipster vibes like you’re in the hearth of a houseboat somewhere. A great wine list, extensive beer options, and some great mixolo gy menu items make it a great spot to warm up.

TWO

718 E. Burleigh St.

Housed in a Milwaukee bungalow, TWO’s dim red lighting all-year-round makes you feel like you’re over at a friend’s house who happens to have a full bar. Even if it’s below zero outside, you should definitely order some of their famous ice cream cocktails which will certainly warm your heart.

BEER HALLS

VON TRIER

2235 N. Farwell Ave.

A traditional German bier hall equipped with every kind of bier stein of German ales you could ask for, with pretzels, spaetzle, and fish frys to keep you thirsty. The new-ish outdoor patio has heat lamps and fire ta bles to cozy up to if you’re wanting to enjoy the outdoors.

KEGEL’S INN

5901 W. National Ave.

Well known for their Friday fish frys, Kegel’s Inn is a Milwaukee staple in the Germanic bars and restaurants scene. Weather permitting, the block between it and Public Table opens up to out door seating and you can often find some entertainment for the perfect Wisconsin night.

INDEED BREWING COMPANY & TAPROOM

530 S. Second St.

Walker’s Point has no shortage of taprooms and breweries, but there’s a special feeling when you enter Indeed Brewing Company. It feels like a mix of an old wooden bar, a dash of an up north bowling alley, noticeable modern touches, all with a great drink menu and specialty food items. Make a stop if you haven’t been here already!

CAMP BARS

CAMP BAR SHOREWOOD

4044 N. Oakland Ave.

Camp Bar Shorewood makes you feel like you’re really in someone’s cabin, even if you’re just off Oakland Avenue. You can cozy up to a fireplace or sit at either bar inside. Outdoor seating is available on those more tolerable days, but this is one place you’ll want to be inside for the evening.

CAMP BAR THIRD WARD 525 E. Menomonee St.

With similar cabin vibes as the other locations, Camp Bar Third Ward feels like you’re at a party up north while someone’s parents aren’t home. Things can get a little rowdy at this bar, but there’s food to soak up the booze.

CAMP BAR WAUWATOSA

6600 W. North Ave.

The west end’s answer to a cabin open to everything, you can get a mix of the quaint cabin feel and the full-on party during sports games at the Camp Bar Wauwatosa on North Avenue.

Sandy Reitman writes the Let’s Eat column for shepherdexpress.com.

44 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS SPECIAL HOLIDAY DRINK GUIDE
AT RANDOM

2022 Holiday Gifł Guide

AMERICAN SCIENCE & SURPLUS

6901 W. Oklahoma Ave., Milwaukee 414-541-7777 sciplus.com

American Science & Surplus caters to the area’s most cu rious shoppers, offering one-of-a-kind gifts, educational kits, gadget tools, novelties, science widgets, magnifiers, telescopes, militaria and more random surplus than you can stuff into a huge Christmas stocking—which is why we also have our mind-blowing retail store.

ART BAR

722 E. Burleigh St., Milwaukee 414-372-7880 facebook.com/artbarmke/ artbarwonderland.com

Give the gift of original art this holiday. “MINI” TINY ART @ TINY PRICES, is the largest local small art show of its kind. Over 150 juried talented artists have created small art piec es (under 8” x 8”) and everything is priced under $100. Select from over 700 pieces on display and 1,500 items in back-up stock, the show is replenished daily and has something for everyone. Art Bar is open daily at 3 p.m. Monday-Friday, and 9 a.m. on weekends. All credit cards accepted; the show runs until Dec. 31.

Background and illustrations by Ali Bachmann. DECEMBER 2022 | 45

BBC LIGHTING

2015 W. St. Paul Ave., Milwaukee (414) 933-0808 shopbbclighting.com

BBC’s decorator showroom displays the finest brands of lighting and ceiling fans at prices far less than the inter net. Our customer service and guaranteed lowest prices make BBC the lighting leader in Wisconsin. The largest and most prestigious builders direct their customers to BBC. Our lighting specialists will advise you of the best lighting solutions for your needs. Give the gift of light to your loved one this year! (Gift certificates can be used for in-store purchases only.)

C3 DESIGNS

2110 10th Ave., South Milwaukee 414-764-3892 C3-designs.com

C3 Designs is the best jewelry store in the Milwaukee area to help with your holiday gift giving ideas. Store owner Chris Jensen is a nationally award-winning jewelry designer having won over 25 awards for his custom creations. His design team at C3 Designs can help you choose the perfect one-of-a-kind gift for this holiday season.

CEDARBURG ART MUSEUM

W63N675 Washington Avenue, Cedarburg 262-377-6123 cedarburgartmuseum.org

The Cedarburg Art Museum, home of A Creative Place: The History of Wisconsin Art, is an inclusive gathering space that celebrates both local and Wisconsin art. Experience the original exhibitions, shop unique finds and handmade artwork, and purchase our groundbreaking book this holiday season.

CLOCKTOWER ANTIQUES

1134 S. First St., Milwaukee 414-252-0011 clocktowerantiques.com

Open seven days a week, browse our shop for everyone on your list; we have creative gifts, vintage jewelry, artwork and much more. Finally entertaining again? Find barware, cookware, serving pieces and holiday decorations. Who doesn’t love one-stop shopping?

Background and illustrations by Ali Bachmann.
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DISCOUNT LIQUOR

5031 W. Oklahoma Ave., Milwaukee (414) 545-2175

919 N. Barstow Ave., Waukesha (262) 547-7525 discountliquorinc.com

Discount liquor is your one-stop gift shop for all your gift-giving needs. Shop early—supplies are limited! All gift sets are 750ml bottles, unless otherwise indicated. Come in and check out our beer gift sets, too!

EARTH’S ALTERNATIVE

161 S. Fifth Ave., West Bend 262-353-9202 earthsalternative.com

Earth’s Alternative is here to help people find different ways to manage and deal with life with crystals, essential oils, CBD and Delta 8 products. We are happy to take the time to help you find the right alternative for you.

FISCHBERGER’S VARIETY

2445 N. Holton St., Milwaukee 414-263-1991 fischbergers.com

There’s so much in stock this holiday season at Fischberger’s Variety! Celebrating our 16th year, we mean to bring you the funnest, freshest gifts, free gift wrapping—and you’re done! Gifts for the whole family, always edgy and wholesome. Always at the lowest possible price!

HARLEY DAVIDSON MUSEUM

400 W. Canal St., Milwaukee 877-436-8738 harley-davidson.com/us/en/museum.html

Breakfast with Santa! Exclusive after-hours shopping at the Harley-Davidson Shop and the Factory Shop! Fun family photo ops! A new exhibit opening! And so much more are a part of the Harley-Davidson Museum’s 12 days of holiday fun, Dec. 7-18. Visit HDMuseum.com for more information (or to book your breakfast with the jolly old elf).

HEALIUM HOT YOGA

2534 S. Kinnickinnic Ave., Bay View/Milwaukee

HEALIUM RESTORE

435 E. Lincoln Ave., 2nd FL., Bay View/Milwaukee 414-232-2165

heliumhotyoga.com

Give the gift of Healium Yoga this season! Our Winter Warm Up Sale on class packs is Dec. 5-20. We also have a New Student 2-Week Unlimited Yoga package, available every day. Winter is the season for yoga! Valid at both studios, Healium Hot Yoga and Healium Restore. Purchase in-person or online.

HISTORIC THIRD WARD Your Holiday Destination

Santa and his reindeer. Live music. A stunning tree lighting. A dazzling winter fireworks display. It must be Christmas in the Ward! Milwaukee’s most beloved Christmas celebration brings a holly jolly evening of friends, family and holiday cheer! Hannah, 95.7 BIG FM’s afternoon drive host, kicks off the evening just after 5 p.m. And don’t miss those cocoa cocktails, mulled wine, tasty s’mores, food trucks and so much more! Plus, You can support your community by shopping the local businesses of the Historic Third Ward this holiday season. Follow us on Instagram at @historicthirdward — we’ll be giving away gift cards to local retailers every day Dec. 3-23 during Shop the Ward!

KNUCKLEHEADS

2949 N. Oakland Ave., Milwaukee 414-962-3052 knuckleheads.shop

Stop by Knuckleheads and check out their large variety of Wellness products! Stop by and get 25%-75% off all glass and select items. Visit on a Saturday or Sunday and enjoy discounted Wellness products! Discover why Knuckleheads was voted “Best of Milwaukee” Best Head Shop, Vape Shop and CBD Shop in 2021!

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MARN ART + CULTURE HUB

191 N Broadway, Milwaukee, WI, 53202

414-485-0033 marnarts.org

Inside the home of the nonprofit Milwaukee Artist Resource Network is the MARN MARKETPLACE, which includes handmade items for sale from over 30 local artists. These items include everything from clothing and kitchenware to jewelry and visual art, and a majority of the money from each item sold goes directly to the Milwaukee-based artist who made it. So if you're looking for a unique handmade gift you won't find anywhere else - while also supporting local art - visit the MARKETPLACE inside the MARN ART + CULTURE HUB. The HUB also includes an art gallery and cafe, and is open for art and culture events year round.

MB SQUARED PHOTOGRAPHY

mbsquaredphotography.square.site Instagram: @mbsquaredphotography

Easy to frame 8”x8”, 12.5”x12.5” photography art prints, as well as drink coasters/magnets, are available for purchase online, or at local holiday markets and events. Milwaukee, state of Wisconsin, and Midwest region is highlighted. When shopping online you can select FREE pickup in Bay View, or delivery within MKE County / shipping for a small fee.

MILWAUKEE MAKERS MARKET

December 9, 4-8 p.m. / December 10, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. / December 11, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. - Milwaukee Makers Market at The Deer District (Inside the Beer Garden) December 18 - "Milwaukee Makers Market Holiday Pop-Up" Discovery World milwaukeemakersmarket.com

Milwaukee Makers Market encourages shopping for small businesses this holiday season. On Sunday Dec. 18 at Discovery World from 10 a.m.-4 p.m., the Market will feature over 50 local Businesses including art, Jewelry, soaps, clothing, candles, unique gifts, Milwaukee themed accessories and more ! Admission to the Market is free Explore Discovery World Museum with Paid Admission or Membership. More info at milwaukeemakersmarket.com.

NOBLE CATERING & EVENTS

414-988-1554 noblecateringco.com

Tis' the season to wine and dine! Noble Catering & Events specializes in bespoke catering for events and gatherings near Milwaukee. Our executive chef and culinary team will collaborate with you to create a truly unique experi ence. Contact events@fstreetgroup.com to elevate your holiday celebration.

Background and illustrations by Ali Bachmann.
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PIZZA MAN

Locations in Milwaukee, Mequon, & Wauwatosa pizzamanwi.com

There’s no place like Pizza Man for the holidays! Whether you’re gathering with loved ones or hosting a corporate party, we provide a cozy atmosphere to celebrate the season. Our incredible dishes and hospitable staff will create an event to remember. Contact events@fstreetgroup.com to book your holiday party!

PJ PIPER

W61N514 Washington Ave, Cedarburg 262-421-8040 pjpiperwi.com

Take a break from shopping in Cedarburg, enjoy our home made breakfast served all day, warm up with a bowl of homemade soup, and catch up with friends and family at PJ Pipers. We are in the heart of downtown Cedarburg—top by and say hi! Keep your eye out for the purple awning.

SKYLIGHT MUSIC THEATRE

158 N. Broadway, Milwaukee 414-291-7800 skylightmusictheatre.org

A Jolly Holiday: Celebrating Disney’s Broadway Hits Ring in the holidays with a brand-new musical revue fea turing 30 favorite songs from Disney’s biggest Broadway hits. A cast of phenomenal singers including an ensemble of talented youth performers will celebrate the season in style with a festive holiday party for the ages. Nov. 18–Dec. 31, 2022. Visit skylightmusictheatre.org.

SLEEVEHOLDER

sleeveholder.com

Need that unique gift for a beer drinker? Get them the SleeveHolder! Milwaukee made, it is a wall mounted wood rack that allows to quickly store and display a Koozie collection. Two versions available, they mount to flat surfaces in any mancave, bar or rec room. Visit us at SleeveHolder.com

THE JEWELERS GUILD

2408 E. St. Francis Ave., St. Francis 414-488-2727 jewelersguild.biz

Milwaukee’s most unique jewelry store has brilliant holiday gifts available for you in their gallery showroom Located just off KK on St. Francis Ave, The Jewelers Guild offers custom designs, repairs, and appraisals as well as their special MAKE YOUR OWN WEDDING RING projects, classes and workbench rentals, local handmade jewelry by our masterful designers, goldsmiths and jewelers.

Background and illustrations by Ali Bachmann.
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THE TOOL SHED: AN EROTIC BOUTIQUE

2427 N. Murray Ave., Milwaukee 414-906-5304

toolshedtoys.com

The Tool Shed believes that loving our bodies is a revolu tionary act, and that sexuality, pleasure, and intimacy are central to human well-being and health. We offer a curated selection of quality sex toys, lubes, body products, books, and gifts in a wel-coming atmosphere. Questions? Our friendly staff of sexuality educators is available to help. Drop by our store to shop in per-son or go to toolshedtoys. com to shop from the comfort of your home.

TRALEE IRISH IMPORTS

5423 W. Vliet St., Milwaukee 414-662-7175 traleeirishimports.com

Tralee is celebrating their largest Christmas selection ever! With sweets and treats from Ireland and the U.K., you are bound to find something for everyone on your list. New this year is their Winter Wonderland. Located a block from their year-round store, Tralee is excited to showcase customer favorites and new items. From candy and potato chips to sausage and breads, Tralee offers the widest selection of Irish and British foods in the Midwest. Stop in today!

VERDANT

CBD

2680 S. Kinnickinnic Ave., Milwaukee 414-763-3762

verdantcbd.com

Ring in the holidays with the finest quality hemp derived DELTA 8 & 9 THC and CBD products and enjoy compli mentary gift wrapping! Founded by a family with an exten sive background in the Health Care Industry, Verdant CBD is dedicated to providing only the highest quality CBD and DELTA 8 & 9 THC products for health and wellness on the market. Each of our hemp-based products undergo strin gent testing for quality, assuring that you’re buying products you can trust. Free shipping on orders over $25 when you visit us 24/7 at VERDANTCBD.com.

Background and illustrations by Ali Bachmann.
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Say Goodbye to ‘Say Goodbye to ‘ Nutcracker’? Nutcracker’?

milwaukee Ballet’s current production of The Nutcracker was conceived and choreographed by Michael Pink in his first year here as artistic director, using the sets and costumes of his predecessor’s version. Twenty years later, that production can be described as a really interesting 20-year-old dressed in badly worn-out hand-me-downs. To push the metaphor, it’s a pregnant 20-year-old. An all-new Nutcracker somehow lives in it, set to arrive in 2023.

Perhaps that’s why Pink decided I should talk with dancer Marie Harrison-Collins who was, in fact, literally pregnant last season while dancing her first Nutcracker star turn. She played Marie, who journeys with her boyfriend and young er siblings to the Tchaikovsky-colored Land of Sweets and Imagination. Now, as Lucille Elizabeth’s mom, she’ll reprise that role in the production Pink refers to as “Say Good bye to Nutcracker.”

“I was in my second trimester and apparently you have extra hormones,” Harrison-Collins tells me when I ask how it was to dance pregnant. “I had way more energy than usual, so it actually worked better. It’s not an easy ballet, but stami na-wise it wasn’t bad. Davit (Hovhannisyan) had partnered pregnant people before, so I felt 100 percent confident with him. We had to change one lift so he wouldn’t catch me on my stomach.”

MILWAUKEE BALLET GIVES THE OLD COSTUMES A FINAL SPIN BEFORE NEXT YEAR’S REVAMP
Milwaukee Ballet Company - Photo by Rachel Malehorn. Courtesy of Milwaukee Ballet.
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Marie Harrison-Collins - Photo by Mark Frohna. Courtesy Milwaukee Ballet.

After that, she stopped performing but attended daily dance classes until a week before her baby’s birth. Four weeks later, she returned to the classes to get back in shape. She’d bring the baby along. Then this fall, cast as the Black Swan in Swan Lake and with Lucille happily in daycare, she found that “the hardest part was staying in point shoes for eight hours a day. There’s no way to prepare for that!”

“I want to show the world that your career as a dancer isn’t over when you have a baby,” she says with passion. “It’s the exact opposite. When I didn’t have a baby, I’d stress over work. Now if a bad day happens, I get to go home to my baby and nothing else matters. It also makes you want to do better.”

About The Nutcracker, she says “Michael’s is my favorite that I’ve ever seen because it tells a story. It’s not just ran dom acts. I can portray Marie throughout the whole ballet. That’s what’s so fun.”

MULTIPLE ROLES

Each company dancer learns multiple roles in the show and plays them in different performances. Harrison-Collins’ twin sister, Elizabeth Harrison, plays the younger sister Clara but the twins have yet to play sisters onstage. “That’s my dream,” says Harrison-Collins.

She sometimes plays the Snow Queen, or a member of the corps of Snowflakes. She deems the latter “the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You’re jumping up, you’re on the floor, you’re up, you’re down. As the Queen, I get to rest a bit.”

She sometimes plays the Shepherdess with three goofy Geese, or a waltzing Flower, or the female Arabian Danc er. “I love all my roles,” she says. “But what I enjoy so much about The Nutcracker is that we know it so well, so we can add our own nuances and think of new ways to portray our characters every night. You’re not even thinking about the steps, you’re thinking of new ways to make it more interesting and fun.”

This season will be the last chance to enjoy those goofy Geese. Their costumes and number belong to the show Pink inherited. He has other plans now for that part of Tchaikovsky’s score.

I ask him what it’s like to stage his old version one last time. “It’s always good, isn’t it, to reaffirm what it is about this show that really means a lot,” he answers.

He promises to keep the swoon-worthy “Snow Pas de Deux” of Act One and all the clown antics intact. “I’m going to keep as much of the original choreography that works and that I feel proud of,” he says. “If I can’t find a way to rethink it, why change it? I think this might be the only version in existence where there are four principal characters. So that very much stays in the new version, which I’m hoping will again become part of a tradition, and every year our audience will go: Oh good! They’re all there!”

“And I’m very proud of the family party scene with so many people onstage. It engages audiences every year. I think people feel like they’re at the party. It’s the same party as before but, as with all parties, there are different dynam ics, so they’re observing things they didn’t see last year. I think our company loves performing that scene because it’s become a rite of passage for each new dancer who joins the company. It’s an eye-opener for what liberties you can take on stage to create an incredible scene.”

Performances are Dec. 10-24 at the Marcus Performing Arts Center. Visit milwaukeeballet.org or call 414-902-2103.

John Schneider is an actor and playwright. He teaches theater at Marquette University and writes about dance for shepherdexpress.com.

Michael Pink 2019 Highlights. Photo by Mark Frohna. Courtesy Milwaukee Ballet.
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Marie Harrison-Collins & Ransom Wilkes-Davis. Photo by Rachel Malehorn. Courtesy of Milwaukee Ballet.

Testing Their Mettle

LISTENING PARTY RETURNS WITH RENEWED DIRECTION ON LATEST ALBUM

For Milwaukee-based band Listening Party, there have been many unexpected twists and turns to reach its latest album, Been A Long Time Comin’

In January 2020, the band was riding a creative high, with a new batch of songs. They had recorded some songs a few months prior and were about to return to the studio. “That whole process was exhilarating and full of anxiety at the same time,” recalls singer-songwriter Weston Mueller.

However, pandemic lockdowns abruptly halted their plans and put the band’s future in question. Longtime member Joshua Hester needed a break from music to focus on his wellbeing, so they amicably parted ways.

“He’s been a good friend and band member for a decade, and whenever you know somebody and work with some body for that long, you create quite a bond,” says Mueller. “It’s important to take care of yourself, your mind and body most importantly.”

The departure left Mueller and keyboardist Jacob Wood working mostly as a duo, driven by their infatuation with creating music. They continued writing new songs, refining old songs, and hoping the rest would work itself out.

“We just had to regroup and not let it keep us in a negative headspace and keep the wheels moving,” says Mueller. “It was tough, but we're good buds, and the foundation we have got us through the whole thing … Music is part of us, and when we think about giving it up, it's not a match. We looked at ourselves and the whole situation and re alized this is what you want to be doing. It was an easy decision to make.”

LOCAL SUPPORT

It also didn’t hurt that they still had lots of support locally in the city and state. As soon as they started playing shows again, they realized “just how great those connections are with people.”

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Photo by Mike Collins.
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“If people out there still want to hear us play, we're going to show up for them,” says Mueller. “If there’s 10 people or 100 people, we'll show up because there's still some people out there who love us, and so, we'll be there.”

As a songwriter, Mueller feels he connects to his lyrics now. “They’re coming from a place of honesty more, and I feel like I’m sharing a part of myself,” says Mueller.

Despite the lineup change, the band’s sound remains grounded in folk, rock and Americana. Wood has taken on more responsibility, playing multiple instruments. “He’s had to step up and take a bigger chunk out of the songs, and he’s doing it fantastically, and it’s really fun to watch him grow in that aspect,” says Mueller. “It’s forced us to grow a little more and to evolve a little more.”

Adds Wood, “I think it’s allowed us a chance to really tighten up as a duo and really find the music …We’re just trying to constantly learn and evolve.”

INSPIRATION IN THE CHAPEL

The band also found renewed vigor thanks to an untradi tional recording space. They traveled to Hartland, WI, to record at Axis Studios—a converted 19th century chapel that sits atop a hill—with studio owner Vinny Millevolte.

“Being in a non-traditional setting, you almost forget you’re recording,” says Wood. “You feel so comfortable there. You forgot you were there to record. You were just playing music and having fun.”

Their first time at the church inspired album song “Wastin’ Time.” “It went along with this song about wasting time and how life can be short,” says Mueller. “Just don’t waste your time here and make the best of it. People who spent their life together and then get buried together and do the whole thing together, that’s inspiring for the rest of the world.”

Many of the album’s songs focus on the search for redemption. “They’re searching for love and searching for relationships,” says Mueller.

Once inside the church, they were stunned by the chapel’s unique acoustics and beauty. “It brought out a natural re verb to everything,” says Mueller.

Adds Wood, “it was just visually stunning. You’re doing your vocals and singing into this empty chapel with the light go ing through these stained-glass windows. It felt really cool and epic while you’re in there doing your parts.”

Millevolte recorded them from the small room that once was used for the children’s crying room. Once they were finished recording a song, Mueller and Wood would do a celebratory ring of the church’s bell.

“Vinny was the one who had suggested it,” says Mueller. “We're kids, so we took him up on that. And at the very end, I think it was the last song we did, and it was like 10:30 at night and we’re in a neighborhood. Jacob rings the bell and then he shoots around. He’s like, ‘it’s too late to stop me!’

“But we were celebrating, either way, so we got our celebration. Sorry to the neighbors. It was very satisfying to pull that thing down and it was powerful when that thing would go off.”

Joshua M. Miller is a local music writer and frequent contributor to the Shepherd Express. You can follow his work on Twitter at @JoshuaMMillerWI.

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Photo by Mike Collins. Photo by Mike Collins.
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This Month in Milwaukee 12 THINGS TO DO IN DECEMBER

SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS IN DECEMBER

Ice Skating at Lynden Sculpture Garden (weather permitting)

The beautiful park-like Sculpture Garden offers skating on one of its ponds, Saturdays and Sundays, when weather and ice conditions permit. In December, the garden is open daily from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. (closed on Thursdays).

THROUGH DECEMBER 11

The Nativity Variations

Milwaukee Rep’s Quadracci Powerhouse

There is a world premiere this holiday season at the Rep from playwright Catherine Trieschmann. “The Nativity Variations was inspired by my years of writing and directing the youth Christmas play at my local Methodist Church. I wrote a comic essay about the experience for Slate,” Trieschmann says. The Rep’s Artistic Director Mark Clements read the piece and saw it as a strong basis for a play. “The Nativity Variations is far more comic and outlandish than anything I actually wrote for church, but the foundation very much comes from personal experience!”

Space Station Detail - 'Amazing Stories', Vol 2,
No.
7, Oct. 1927. YIVO Institute for Jewish Research.
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THROUGH DECEMBER 16

DECEMBER 2

“William

Kentridge: See for Yourself,” u Warehouse Art Museum

William Kentridge might be the most important visual artist in the contemporary world, and if you dispute that claim, it’s harder to argue that he isn’t one of the most diverse, truly a multimedia artist in the fullest sense. Kentridge sculpts and produces linocuts, lithographs, screen prints, silk screens and etchings. He designs productions for opera and theater performances. He makes brilliant use of simple, even archaic technology, including films that reinvent and revisit the origins of animation as handmade drawings that move. But Kentridge’s drawings don’t only move, they move with significance.

THROUGH FEBRUARY 5

t “Jews in Space: Members of the Tribe in Orbit” Jewish Museum Milwaukee

The timeline for the exhibit begins BCE and extends through the present with many stops on the way. Einstein’s spacetime continuum gets a nod, as do a cast of astronauts and cosmonauts and science-fiction authors such as Robert Block and Isaac Asimov. A GeoDome Portal, a virtual reality environment, gives viewers many options, including close encounters with the planets of our solar system. Special events include Milwaukee film historian Patrick McGilligan’s talk on Mel Brooks (Dec. 1) and a screening of Brooks’ Spaceballs (Dec. 25).

Motel Breakfast, Sylmar q The Back Room at Colectivo The Back Room at Colectivo is becoming a haven for Milwaukee acts to try their hand at a larger room, and the East Side venue will welcome a veteran Midwest act in Motel Breakfast on Dec. 2. The band split its time between Chicago and Milwaukee while members of the band attended Marquette University, and now are bringing Cincinnati-based hybrid act Sylmar for part of the band’s final weekend of shows for the year.

MOTEL BREAKFAST

Photo by Kelsie Herzog Photography. Coutesy of Motel Breakfast Facebook. Photo by Norbert Miguletz. Courtesy of the Warehouse Art Museum.
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DECEMBER 6

John Gurda p

Historic Pabst Brewery

917 W Juneau Ave.

If you’re looking for relief from the chill of winter, look no further than a night spent at the Historic Pabst Brewery. Famed Milwaukee historian, John Gurda, presents a conversation about his new book, Brewtown Tales: More Stories from Milwaukee and Beyond, in partnership with Boswell Book Company. Packed with musings, stories, and fascinating trivia, the evening is perfect for anyone looking for some distinctive Milwaukee history. Gurda’s book talk will take place at 6:30 p.m.

DECEMBER 9-11

Bel Canto Chorus

“Christmas in the Basilica” u The Basilica of St. Josaphat is a beautiful, hushed setting for Bel Canto’s annual Christmas program featuring carols, hymns and a work by contemporary English choral composer John Rutter, his exalted, jubilant Gloria

DECEMBER 9 & 10

Fall From Grace Festival

X-Ray

Arcade

Cudahy venue X-Ray Arcade may no longer be known as The Metal Grille, but it certainly hasn’t abandoned its fair share of heavy music. Fall From Grace Festival will take over the club for a Friday and Saturday night run this month, featuring five bands per night, headlined by long-running metal pioneers Coven, now going strong on their sixth decade of rock.

DECEMBER 15

Bleached Cross, Shamewave, Overhand, HUMID Cactus Club

Milwaukee group The Basement Collective are literally emerging from the underground on Dec. 15, bringing four local bands to Bay View’s storied Cactus Club. Bleached Cross, Shamewave, Overhand and HUMID all blend punk, indie and shoegaze together with a DIY ethos about themselves. The next generation of Milwaukee music is brooding, and you can discover four of your next favorites at this Thursday night all-ages show.

DECEMBER 16 & 17

Champagne Drip, Sippy The Miramar Theatre

If you’re itching to dance to some heavy electronic music before New Year’s Eve, Los Angeles-based DJ and Australia’s Sippy are throwing a weekend party at The Miramar Theatre with Brew City Bass and support from a host of local DJs. The Friday and Saturday night shows cap off a four-month run for the tour throughout the country, so expect the final parties from the pair to be an absolute blowout.

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DECEMBER 16-18

Handel’s Messiah Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra

The oratorio debuted in Dublin in 1742 and its rousing chorus has seldom been absent for long from concert stages. The text, derived from the King James Bible, summarizes prophesies of the coming Messiah and culminates with his triumphant birth. Ken-David Masur will conduct the MSO’s performance at the Bradley Symphony Center.

DECEMBER 17

Samantha Fish p Shank Hall

Faster was released in September 2021 and marks the next chapter in what has been an impressive run of albums for Samantha Fish. After establishing herself as a blues artist to watch with her 2013 debut Black Wind Howlin’ and her 2015 follow-up Wildheart, Fish stretched out stylistically. She recorded Chills & Fever (2017) with members of the Detroit Cobras for a stellar album that included rocking vintage R&B, classic soul and sultry balladry. Later that year, her music took another turn on Belle of the West, as Fish successfully delved into rootsy Americana, with more of an acoustic, but still spunky sound.

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SAMANTHA FISH Photo courtesy of Shank Hall.

Your Brain on Animals

Deeply attached to your pets? Find solace and enjoyment in hanging out with other animals—dogs, cats, horses, birds, etc.? Have a comfort animal in your life? Well, according to a recent study, this may be indicative of … you guessed it … a mental health problem. My profession is infamous for conjuring new syndromes requiring psy chotherapy, sometimes for better and others for ill. While positive psychology, which looks at what’s healthy about us, has made a dent in this tendency, for every study conducted on upbeat and

adaptive human attributes, there are many more devoted to psychopathol ogy. As one of my cynical colleagues once wryly told an audience, “Your misery is our prosperity.”

That’s probably way over the top. Most psychotherapists are good eggs trying to bring some positivity to the world, not just turn a buck. What’s more, there is a long history of society ignoring or minimizing serious mental health issues, to the detriment of all. However, as a biased pet owner who observes the benefits of these companions in the lives of my clients as well as my own, I question the underlying premises in this newly emerging “problem.” So, what does the study assert?

Well, in fairness, the authors acknowl edge many of the proven benefits of living with pets and having companion animals. These are well documented. From a psychological standpoint, hav ing a pet provides social support and comfort, lowers stress hormones in the body, elevates mood, eases the suffer ing associated with PTSD, and reduces feelings of loneliness and depression. Children with companion animals ex hibit greater self-esteem, more empa thy and improved socialization. What’s more, social interaction between

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humans proves more positive when a pet is present, partic ularly a dog. On the medical side, companion animals lower our blood pressure, improve cardiovascular health overall, support greater longevity and provide comfort to families dealing with dementia.

INSECURE HUMAN ATTACHMENT?

Nonetheless, the study asks, “Is our emotional attachment to companion animals a compensatory response to insecure human attachment?” The authors go on to assert, “Specifi cally, individuals who developed insecure attachment styles in early childhood have stronger emotional attachments to their pets than individuals in their life and may also strug gle with loneliness and depression.” The implied message? It’s healthier to have strong emotional attachments to humans than to other animals. Excuse me? Where in this world might one turn for some measure of unconditional positive regard when, as is too often the case, it doesn’t come from Homo sapiens? And why does relying on pets for companionship and interpersonal positivity constitute set tling for less, let alone serve as a warning sign of underlying psychological dysfunction?

Over one hundred million of us own dogs or cats, and millions more have birds, fish, small mammals and horses. Why? Because, intuitively, we feel the positive impacts of these relationships and sense, albeit often subconsciously, their importance to our overall well-being. During my years in practice, I’ve worked with countless clients who have benefited significantly from the human-pet connection. Many expressed greater trust in the emotional safety and

support coming from their companion animals than that available from other humans in their lives. While the authors of this study may speculate that turning to pets rather than other persons to meet certain emotional needs consti tutes a compensatory strategy (“I prefer humans but will settle for pets”), I see it as a positive adaptation with few, if any downsides.

As one client put it, “When it comes to my cats, I don’t worry about being betrayed, lied to, abused or made to feel bad about myself.” This individual acknowledged experienc ing so-called “attachment issues” with humans, which the research in question focused on, but didn’t sequester herself from other people or cower from social interaction. What she did embrace was what she called a “safe emotional home” provided by her pets.

Collectively, if we humans were more trustworthy, forgiv ing and loving to one another, we might not need to turn to companion animals to meet our emotional needs. But, for many, there is wisdom in French novelist Colette’s as sertion that, “Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”

For more visit philipchard.com.

Philip Chard is a psychotherapist and author with a focus on lasting behavior change, emotional healing and adaptation to health challenges.

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Milwaukee Company Produces

CBD Locally and Organically

RA! Is an all-natural hemp and wellness company, and lifestyle brand, founded by Richard Bowman. RA!—a play on the word raw— offers cannabidiol (CBD) edi bles, tinctures and topicals crafted through a trademarked Whole Spectrum™ processing method that captures CBD and all ancillary cannabinoids.

Photo courtesy of RA! Photo courtesy of RA! Bowman, a musician and real estate agent, works with re search & development specialist Alla Tsypin, an herbalist of 25 years and co-founder of Madison-based Nessalla craft kombucha. Tsypin had sold Nessalla in 2020 and wanted to get back to her herbalist roots.
68 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS LIFESTYLE CANNABIS | SPONSORED BY RA!

One night, Bowman and Tsypin found Bowman’s senior American bulldog, Polar Bear, unresponsive. A visit to an emergency veterinarian revealed she had cancer and heart issues. As hemp users, Bowman and Tsypin decided to try CBD to help Polar Bear.

“We gave her CBD. It bought her another four months,” Tsypin says. “She became vibrant and could go up and down stairs. It bought Richard and his son time to say goodbye and have these final moments with her in a positive way. She was hap py and thriving, and was present in body, soul and spirit.”

Bowman adds that Polar Bear was with his 7-year-old son for his entire life and was a big part of the family. “It was important for him to say goodbye not in a sad, dark way, but in a way to celebrate her moving on to a different space,” Bowman adds. The experience inspired them to bring CBD wellness to others.

BUILDING A UNIQUE BRAND

After two years of research, development and working with labs, Bowman and Tsypin officially launched RA! in Octo ber 2021 at the USA CBD Expo, in Chicago. With a focus on the wellness aspect of CBD, they plan to build a wellness community while educating people how CBD can help with anxiety, sleeplessness, inflammation and autoimmune disor ders, as well as recovery and addiction.

Bowman and Tsypin praised the quality of Wisconsin-grown hemp and strive to keep all aspects of their business as local as possible, from the farmers from which they source hemp to the labs and processors.

Bowman already had a clear vision for the branding. “I knew exactly who I wanted to use for the branding—the look, the feel, the energy and the colors are all so paramount, espe cially in this industry. Scott Starr and his team at Rev Pop brilliantly brought an aesthetic and vibe to our mission,” he emphasizes. As members of Generation X, they feel that demographic is often overlooked.

“As Gen Xers, we’re parents and even grandparents, we have jobs, careers and lots of other things going on, and we have to do it all with anxiety or achy joints or muscles,” Tsypin says. “We still have to keep up with the children and stay relevant, so CBD is such a great way to stay healthy.”

She adds that during the COVID-19 pandemic, more people sought to take their health seriously and looked for alterna tive ways to stay healthy and strong.

WHOLE SPECTRUM™ PRODUCTS

RA! has a wide array of edibles including Delta-9 gum mies, tinctures and topicals. For processing, Bowman and Tsypin work with American Extractions, based in Janes ville, Wis. The company uses a processing method called Whole Spectrum ™, which doesn’t use solvents, chemicals or CO2 extraction.

“It’s based on physics rather than chemistry,” Tsypin says. “You’re literally getting the plant as nature intended, with all the oils and cannabinoids. American Extractions states in its website that the Whole Spectrum ™ process “captures all elements within the cannabinoids, and all the terpenes at a higher intensity and strength.”

Bowman, a Type 1 diabetic, says they’re hard at work on a new formulation that will be a game-changer to help others with diabetes. “We want to pay it forward. It’s all about well ness and what we can bring to people.”

With a goal to educate and collaborate, Bowman and Tsypin hope that RA! will become a leader among Wiscon sin-based cannabis businesses. They want to expand their retail presence and offer classes throughout Milwaukee and Madison. “The more people we collaborate with, the word will travel farther,” Bowman concludes. “We’re building roads for the next generation.”

RA! can be found online through feelraco.com, at the White fish Bay Farmers Market, Uptown Pharmacy, in Shorewood, and The Glitter Workshop, at Garver Feed Mill, in Madison.

DECEMBER 2022 | 69
Sheila Julson writes the Eat Drink column for shepherdexpress.com.

EVENTS TO JINGLE YOUR BELLS

DEAR RUTHIE ROOTERS,

Happy holidays! I hope December offers all the comfort and joy your crimson heart deserves. As we gear up for 2022’s big finale, I want to wish you nothing but the best for the coming year.

Speaking of which, Milwaukee is buzzing with yuletide and New Year celebrations worthy of St. Nick himself. There are so many holiday happenings, I’m listing them here instead of dishing out advice. I’ll be back next month with ideas for local lovelorn. (You can also read my weekly advice column at www.shepherdexpress.com.) For now, however, I leave you with a Christmas wish that your holiday be filled with childlike enchantment and your New Year bursting with possi bilities. Oh, and booze. Lots and lots of booze.

HEAR ME OUT DEAR RUTHIE | SPONSORED BY UW CREDIT UNION 70 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS
XXOO Ruthie
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on social media, too! Facebook: Dear Ruthie | Instagram: RuthieKeester | Twitter: @DearRuthie

Ruthie's Social Calendar

DECEMBER 3

WHISKEY FEST WISCONSIN AT THE COOPERAGE (822 S. WATER ST.): The team at Shepherd Express gathered Wisconsin’s finest distilleries for this boozy bash. From bourbons and ryes to flavored whiskeys and blended cocktails, you can sniff, sip, and score your way through the 3-9:30 p.m. tasting when you buy a pass at www.shepherdtickets.com.

DECEMBER 6

HOLIDAY PARTY AT FLUID (819 S. SECOND ST.): Share a bit of cheer when you tip back a few at this popular watering hole’s yuletide celebration. Always a good time, the 5 p.m. party promises to get your jingle bells rockin’ before Santa comes knockin’.

DECEMBER 6-22

“THE GOLDEN GIRLS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2022” AT HAMBURGER MARY’S (730 S. FIFTH ST.): Purse String Productions offers an all-new dinner-theater drag parody of the much-loved sitcom. Celebrate the holidays with Dorothy (Dear Ruthie), Blanche (Dita Von), Rose (Brandon Herr) and Sophia (Marcee DouhetryElst) when you purchase tickets via www.brownpapertickets.com. (Search “Mary’s Golden Girls 2022 Holiday Show.”)

DECEMBER 10

PATTI LABELLE’S “CELEBRATE THE SEASON” CONCERT AT THE RIVERSIDE THEATER (116 W. WISCONSIN AVE.): The legendary diva struts her fabulous stuff into Milwaukee for a holiday show you’ll never forget. Experience the soulful beauty in a whole new light with this 8 p.m. concert sure to add all that’s glitter and gold to your season. Secure tickets at www.pabsttheatergroup.com.

DECEMBER 10 & 11

“COME FOR THE FRUITCAKE – STAY FOR THE SONG” CONCERT AT PLYMOUTH CHURCH (2717 E. HAMPSHIRE ST.): The LGBTQ+ chorus Our Voice Milwaukee performs traditional holiday carols (as well as some cheeky tunes) with this annual concert. Take in the 7:30 p.m. show on Saturday or Sunday’s 3 p.m. matinee when you order tickets at www.cityoffestivalsmenschorus.org.

DECEMBER 14

WISCONSIN LGBT CHAMBER OF COMMERCE HOLIDAY SOIREE AT DEER DISTRICT (1134 N. VEL R. PHILLIPS AVE.): Toast the season with a 4:30 p.m. cocktail hour. Enjoy beverages, appetizers and a marketplace where you can cross a few gifts off your list. The swanky soiree is open to all, but you’ll a need a ticket via www.wislgbtchamber.com to get in on the fun.

DECEMBER 22

TWILIGHT TOUR AT THE PABST MANSION (2000 W. WISCONSIN AVE.): If holiday lights are your thing, you won’t want to miss this opulent option. Relish the glory of the Pabst mansion during a self-guided tour. See www.pabstmansion.ticketsocket.com to register for a time slot.

DECEMBER 24

THE NUTCRACKER AT MARCUS PERFORMING ARTS CENTER (929 N. WATER ST.): Add a bit of magic to Christmas Eve when you take in this legendary ballet. As heartwarming as it is whimsical, The Nutcracker remains a tradition for many Milwaukeeans, so be sure to order tickets quickly at www.ticketmaster.com.

DECEMBER 31

“THE LITTLE MONSTERS TRIBUTE TO LADY GAGA” NYE EXTRAVAGANZA AT SHANK HALL (1434 N. FARWELL AVE.): APut your paws up! Usher in 2023 with Gaga impersonators, tribute bands and all the dancing and partying you can handle. See www.shankhall.com for tickets.

DEAR RUTHIE BROUGHT TO YOU BY DECEMBER 2022 | 71

MY 2022 CATCH-UP LETTER MY 2022 CATCH-UP LETTER

It’s that time of year when we look back and access the highs and lows of the past dozen months. In the good old days, and, perhaps among some die-hard boom ers still today, the tradition of including a printed “catch-up letter” with a holiday card was one that piqued the recipi ent’s genuine curiosity or impatient ire. Depending on one’s relationship to the sender, there might be a handwritten salutation and signature, maybe even a minimalist “Happy Holidays” scrawled at the bottom. Inevitably, the catch-up letter was full of the year’s triumphs, gushingly described, like little Ethan’s Magna Cum Laude graduation from Harvard, or, conversely, its tear-jerking calamities, like the SUV roll-over over a Grand Canyon precipice with the whole family still in traction or a parade of pets crossing the rainbow bridge. It’s usually just one or the other.

So, here’s mine.

Well, 2022 started off with a COVID diagnosis. Fortunately, I was vaccinated (twice) so my symptoms were mild. Still, it postponed a scheduled surgery (twice). I was released from the hospital a few days after the surgery that finally hap

pened in mid-February. When the surgeon later called with my pathology results her connection kept breaking up. The gravity of the moment turned comedic with me anxiously asking “What? What? Can you repeat that?” Finally, I heard her say “This is really great news.” So the rest really didn’t matter anyway. But that’s enough about me…

As for the rest of the family, the athletic ones were all in full post-pandemic mode, returning to their respective courts, fields and pitches. In fact, SSBL, our LGBTQ softball league, celebrated its 45th season and hosted its 43rd Dairyland Classic softball tournament!

PRIDEFEST TURNS 25

Speaking of anniversaries, there were a slew of them, es pecially silver ones. Woody’s, our favorite sports bar, and the LGBT Community Center both feted their 25th year in operation. (The Community Center also hired a new execu tive director, Kevin Turner-Espinoza, by the way.) Speaking of fetes, it was PrideFest’s 25th June festival at Henry Maier Festival Park with an attendance of nearly 40,000. I attend ed the opening ceremony that featured PrideFest founder

Photo by Ekaterina79/Getty Images.
HEAR ME OUT | SPONSORED BY UW CREDIT UNION 72 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Bill Meunier, who also brought it to Henry Maier Park. During the ceremony Meunier presented current Milwaukee Pride president Wes Shaver with the original ribbon cut to open the first PrideFest held there a quarter century ago. It was truly a moment of Pride. Meanwhile, the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce marked its 10th anniversary. Today it boasts well over 700 members.

What else? Oh! after its two-year COVID-hiatus, the Pride Parade once again marched down its traditional route on South Second Street with a record number of marching units and record attendance.

In bar news, there’s new ownership of both La Cage and the Harbor Room. Speaking of bars, the Milwaukee Coun ty Landmarks Committee bestowed a historic designation on the site of the long-gone Black Nite, a gay bar where, in 1961, a hitherto forgotten fight took place between several drunken sailors and bar patrons lead by Black transgender woman, Josie Carter.

2022 also found us delving more deeply into our local LGBTQ lore. Seven Cream City queens were among 81 na tional drag legends dazzlingly celebrated in a coffee table book entitled Legends of Drag by Harry James Hanson and Devin Antheus. Among them are BJ Daniels who, with Mikael Takach, co-authored A History of Milwaukee Drag: 7 Generations of Glamour. Also contributing to local history, Dr. Brice Smith launched a new app, LGBT milWALKee that allows listeners to follow walking tours of the city’s LGBTQ sites. Meanwhile, Emerald Condor Productions staged a new play telling the intriguing story of a transman in 1914 Milwaukee, Ralph Kerwineo and the Defining Influence of Skirts by Ralph Holoyda. Then there was the Dahmer series on Netflix …

POLITICS, POLITICS

Elsewhere, while a statewide ban on conversion thera py remains elusive, La Crosse became the 14th Wisconsin municipality to ban the abusive practice. However, the city has since been sued by a conservative group on behalf of a Christian counseling center claiming the ban infringes on free speech.

Oh, and we have more community politicians actively pur suing the battle for LGBTQ rights. Milwaukee County voters elected the first LGBTQ identified Supervisor, Peter Burgelis. Transwoman Jessica Katzenmeyer ran for State Senate’s 5th District in the November midterm elections. Although unsuccessful, her campaign was nonetheless a historic one, raising the profile of trans candidates.

Sadly, the year was not without its tragedies. A number of local Wisconsin School boards instituted discriminatory poli cies targeting LGBTQ teachers and students. Most recently, Elmbrook School District banned certain LGBTQ books from its school libraries.

Not surprisingly, members of the trans community were spe cific targets. We lost two Black transgender women, Brazil Johnson and Regina “Mya” Allen, who were murdered in ap parent acts of anti-trans hate. Milwaukee’s Catholic Archdi ocese issued anti-transgender hate guidelines in its “Cat echesis & Policy on Gender Theory.” Yes, I know, the catchy title sounds smart enough, but other progressively-minded Catholics called it for what it is, “a callous, anti-intellectual and anti-human dumpster fire.”

Back on the bright side, there were the midterm elections. We dodged a bullet in the governor’s race, reelecting Tony Evers and sending his MAGA opponent, a homophobic carpetbagger, back to Connecticut, so we’re postponing our move to Uruguay.

DECEMBER 2022 | 73

From The City That Always Sweeps

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man ischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I hear it’s already the month of December that includes the Christmas day. Yes, December, the so-called 12th, and last, month of this year according to experts who track this kind of stuff, what the fock.

But, hold on St. Nick, and is that your real name? Didn’t we have a “Decem ber” just a year ago about this time? Cripes, do I sniff a possible conspiracy concocted by Big Gift so as to empty our wallets and bank accounts to their benefit for, perhaps, sinister purposes? Hey, you tell me.

And then I’ll tell you’s that this can be a stressful time of year, like you didn’t know that already, ain’a? Jeez louise, you’ve got holiday decisions to make during these inflationary times: Could ancient great-Auntie Helen really use some nice new doilies again or would $1 dollar gift card from Yoga You Betcha be more practical. And there’s Uncle Karl, what, a gallon of Old Crow for him under the tree? Yeah, that’ll be gone by the time Christmas dessert is served, I kid you not.

So many questions, but that’s why I’m here to help you with some answers.

Like the other day, my buddy Ernie gave me a call and asked, “Hey Artie, the wife wants a new puppy for Christ mas. I know they don’t sell them at your Best Buy or T.J. Maxx. Any idea where I should go?”

And so I said to Ernie, “Yeah, how ’bout Divorce Court?”

Full disclosure: My scariest thought is whether or not animals get to go to heaven. For christ sakes, that’s all a guy needs is to spend his entire focking life busting his butt, finally gets puking sick, croaks, walks through the Pearly Gates and the first thing that happens is he steps right smack-dab into one heaping, heaving pile of dog-doo. Praise the lord.

And this is supposed to be for eternity ever-after? I’ll tell you’s, I want to be buried with a rolled-up newspaper so that when I’m shaking hands with St. Peter and some canine starts humping my leg, I can give it one good ol’ whack right across the goddamn snout.

I pray they must go to the other place, ’cause spending a couple, three eter nities in the company of household pets and assorted animals sure sounds like focking hell to me. Or at least that these creatures would have their own animal heaven where they could all go and sniff each other’s butts and leave mine alone. That I could live with ’cause when it comes to other species—your animal and insect societies to name two—you can call me a “speciest,” but I firmly believe in a “separate, the hell with equal” kind of arrangement.

And so for holiday assistance with your gift-giving needs, I once again open Art’s Holiday Ba-ding! Boutique ’cause why not this year give everyone on your goddamn Christmas list the gift of laughter? This gift won’t cost you a focking dime and you can use the mon ey saved on a big ol’ bottle of holiday cheer all for yourself and drown your seasonal depression like a bag of cats over the bridge.

My supply chain (and page space) is low this year wouldn’t you know, but here’s an item perhaps you could use:

So this simple shepherd pulled Mary aside shortly after the birth of the Christ child and all the hoopla with the three wise men had died down. He said unto her, “Don’t you think that in stead of all this business about ‘Gloria in excelsis Deo’ etcetera, how about a nice simple ‘Season’s Greetings’?” And Mary said unto him, “What, my son from God has come to Earth to deliver the message, ‘Hello, it’s winter’? Fock ing forget about it.” Ba-ding!

So, there you go. And as a devotion upon an emergent occasion, I wish you happy holidays, merry Christmas, joyous whatever-it-is-you-got-de serves-celebrating. And to all: I hope you get what’s coming to you, right here, right now, and I mean that in the best way. Be damn sure to celebrate this holiday good and plenty. You just can’t ever be 100 per-focking-cent sure that it may not be the last one you’ll get; so make it a good one, what the fock, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

Images. ART FOR ART'S SAKE 74 | SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Photo by Antonio_Diaz/Getty

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