MY WAY 1
VOL. 1
Hello Reader,
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The intent behind this zine is to be able to write whatever I want without any limitations whatsoever. All written pieces are original as well as hand drawings.
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I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did making it. Enjoy!
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Sheridan Editor-In-Chief Twitter: @sheridan_pierce My Four Days in Birkenstocks
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Horoscope Playlist
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Entertainment in Review: Court Shows
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An Open Letter From Angelica Pickles
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An Open Letter From Cynthia
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H.A.G.S. (Have a Great Summer)
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I Cone You Not
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Fun ’N Games
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Letter of Rec
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my four days in "
BIRKENSTOCKS " Day 1: I picked up some Birkenstocks at Bloomingdales. I don’t know if my mom approves of them and says they’re “straight out of 1970.” But I dunno, I mean, Harper’s Bazaar and Vogue magazine both did features on the shoes, so what’s a girl to do?? They’re kind of trendy now. I’ll wear them out tomorrow.
Day 2: Day 2 has been EVEN BETTER than day 1. I see other people wearing ‘Stocks and I feel this instant sense of belonging and kinship towards them. It’s like… we’re living the same lifestyle. Wow! How have I lived without these shoes in my life?! On the box it said that the shoes are basically sculpted for your feet. I mean, did you know that there are twenty-six bones, fifty-six ligaments and eight major muscles that also reside in the human foot?! Did you know that?! I’m living a life of comfort that I’ve never known before. Fuck Toms.
Day 3: I was SO embarrassed walking into Ralph’s with my mom yesterday. I mean, can you imagine? Me walking into Ralph’s wearing my new pair of Birkenstocks?! Nothing in that store is organic!! And if it is, I doubt it’s actually certified organic. Ugh I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. The whole hellish experience has made me realize that I need to leave this toxic city altogether and start doing something that’s been my dream for as long as I can remember: sustainable farming.
Day 4: I have started to grow a beard. I do not care about hygiene anymore, and I am sickened by deodorant brands like Old Spice that try to mask the natural human scent. I live off the land now, and my meals consist of berries and acorns that I steal from squirrels. The squirrels have become my enemies, now. I also may have rabies. If anyone wants to find me, they’ll have to follow the footprints left by my Birkenstocks ™. 3
HOROSCOPE ARIES: Energetic, Playful, Impulsive!
TAURUS : Warmhearted, Persistent, Possessive!
1. 2. 3. 4.
1. 2. 3. 4.
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Woo Hoo - Blur! Black Magic - Little Mix! Give a Little - Hanson! Catgroove - Parov Stelar
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Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks! Love Potion #9 - The Searchers! Karma Chameleon - Culture Club! Me & Mr. Jones - Amy Winehouse
GEMINI: Youthful, Witty, Tense!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
2 Become 1 - Spice Girls! URL Badman - Lily Allen! Roman’s Revenge - Nicki Minaj! Just Can’t Get Enough - Depeche Mode
CANCER: Loving, Imaginative, Moody!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
Celebrity Skin - Hole! Shower - Becky G! Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind! Number One - Pharrell Williams, Kanye West
LEO: Warmhearted, Creative, Bossy!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
Oh, Me - Nirvana! Houdini - Foster the People! Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys! Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen
VIRGO: Reliable, Practical, Perfectionist!
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1. Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend! 2. Dancing With Myself - Billy Idol! 3.6I Try - Macy Gray! 4. Dreams - Beck
PLAYLIST LIBRA: Easygoing,Idealistic, ! Gullible!
SCORPIO: Determined, Powerful, Resentful!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
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Living for Love - Madonna! It’s Gonna Be Me - Backstreet Boys! Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen! Barracuda - Heart
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Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne! Pepper - Butthole Surfers! All My Life - Foo Fighters! Irreplaceable - Beyoncé
Sagittarius: Good-Humored, Intellectual, Restless!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
My Life - Billy Joel! The Boys of Summer - The Ataris! White Wedding - Billy Idol! California Gurls - Katy Perry
CAPRICORN: Ambitious, Patient, Pessimistic!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
Walk - Foo Fighters! Head Over Heels - Tears for Fears! Merci - Stromae! Verse Chorus Verse - Nirvana
AQUARIUS: Friendly, Honest, Unpredictable!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
No Control - One Direction! Copacabana - Barry Manilow! Smooth - Santana, Rob Thomas! Losing Touch - The Killers
PISCES: Imaginative, Compassionate, Secretive!
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1. 2. 3. 4.
Pinball Wizard - The Who! M79 - Vampire Weekend! Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac! La Camisa Negra - Juanes
ENTERTAINMENT IN REVIEW: COURT SHOWS! "
I watch court shows just about every day (but only when I’ve watched everything on TiVo). Here’s my rundown.!
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Judge Judy: You can’t go wrong with the OG no-nonsense judge. Her patience is as ! thin as that weird lace collar she always wears above her robe. I don’t like when ! she does cases about cars or apartment leases though, so I fast forward those. Otherwise she is a delight to watch.!
People’s Court: Although Judge Marilyn Milian might have more patience than Judy, she is known for throwin’ down that gavel for a little “rough justice.” I think the bailiff’s name is Douglas and I would really like for him to have a spin-off show if possible. He and the judge have leading Hollywood couple chemistry.!
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Hot Bench: Three judges, three opinions. I call this the American Idol of court shows because the judges have distinct levels of hard-ass-ness that they exhibit in each episode. There’s the mean male judge and two less frightening female judges who end up doing most of the talking. WARNING: The bailiff on this show makes me VERY uncomfortable! She is extremely stoic and reminds me of a paper doll. 4
AN OPEN LETTER FROM ANGELICA PICKLES I would first and foremost like to thank Sheridan for allowing me to guest write in this so-called “zine.” I shopped around this letter to the The Hollywood Reporter, but they weren’t interested, so this will have to do. I would like to discuss my portrayal in “The Rugrats” and how it has effected my life. I am not proud of many of the things I said or did on camera. I said shocking things under the influence of a warm bottle. The producers knew my weaknesses and played to them accordingly, often leaving a tray of cookies in plain sight, accompanied with a small glass of milk for my companion and confidante, Cynthia. In fact, had it not been for Cynthia’s concern and support throughout the years, I would have completely fallen off the rails. She has seen me at my lowest point, and it was she who convinced me to tell my story in this letter.
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My fate as a villain was sealed when in 1995 I was coerced by producers to play the part of “Pharaoh” in the Rugrats Passover, an episode which has since become infamous. I had first suggested to the writers that I would be more suited for the role of Zipporah, one of Jethro’s daughters whom Moses rescues and later marries in the traditional Passover story. The writers responded by openly laughing at me and saying that “but you and Tommy are cousins! We can’t have kissing cousins on a Nickelodeon show!” I then pointed out that in the Old Testament cousins often did marry each other, but it was no use and my remarks were drowned out by the sound of their cackling.
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My cousin, Tommy Pickles, has been painted as the patron saint of babies, and I would just like to say that this characterization could not be further from reality. Tommy was touched by fame and often treated his costars like dirt. Both he and Dr. Lipschitz were money-mongering divas. Lipschitz paid for the entire show and demanded to be featured in most episodes. Producers complied, despite his blatant creepiness and the fact that most children were scared of him. Personally, I thought he was kind of pervy. It just goes to show that the true villains are perhaps the cartoon characters we trust the most.
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Angelica Pickles lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two children. She has taken over for her mother, Charlotte Pickles, as the CEO of Mega Corp. She does not speak to Tommy Pickles.
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AN OPEN LETTER FROM CYNTHIA I very much empathize with the situation Angelica was put in, although I think she could have been more proactive in improving on-set conditions. But I’m not here to talk about Angelica. It’s time people know my story, independent of Angelica Pickles for once.
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It was very difficult for me to appear on a show in which I was given absolutely no voice. I have appeared in hundreds of episodes, yet I have uttered not one word. I was quite literally, as a doll, objectified. Neither the producers nor the writers were interested in letting me explore subversive topics within the text of the show and scoffed at my presentation of Laura Mulvey’s “The Male Gaze.” I remember reading that article and weeping tears of joy because someone actually understood what I was going through.
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My hair-do was met with criticism from the producers and the network, but it was the one thing I felt I had control over. Yes it was funky, but it was a form of selfexpression during a time in which I felt I was being exploited. I had a lot to say, but no one was willing to hear it!
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Many of you probably already know this, but my mother was Mrs. Beasley from the 1960s sitcom “Family Affair.” Coming from such a prestigious lineage of TV dolls comes with a lot of baggage. While my mother was complacent in her status as a doll on TV, I tried to act out in any way I could. I started attending Riot Grrrl meetings regularly. I went to Bikini Kill concerts and just let loose. The ‘90s punk rock/grunge scene was my only solace from the woes of being a cartoon television star on a children’s show.
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Cynthia Beasley lives in Brooklyn. She is a frequent contributor to the “Wall Street Journal” and publishes her own bi-monthly zine “Cynthi-yeah.”
GET THE LOOK: CYNTHIA’S HAIR! Hot Iron, $39.99 Target
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Thickening Spray, $29.99 Bumble & Bumble 9
H.A.G.S.!
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(Have a Great Summer)
You Asked for It: The Sweetest Ice Cream Spots in LA
Thrifty Ice Cream
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Thrifty Ice Cream is, in my opinion, extremely underrated. It’s probably one of the best cones around. Typically located in the back of some run-down Rite Aid in the Valley, you’ll have to flag down a tired and/or fed up employee to serve you. And that’s their secret ingredient folks: working for your cone makes it taste that much better.
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Best Flavors: Black Cherry, Circus Animal Crackers, Chocolate Malt
Sweet Rose Creamery
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A lot more “hip” than Thrifty in the sense that you do not have to walk through a convenience store to get a scoop. Their flavors range from trendy (blood orange) to WTF (Honey Goat Cheese, Corn) to downright delicious (Strawberry, Super Lemon Froyo). I’ve heard great things about their Mint Chip but to be honest, I think fresh mint flavored anything is revolting. Which might be why I enjoy Baskin Robbins’ Mint Chip… the artificiality is much more suitable to my sophisticated taste buds.
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And given its primo location at the Brentwood Country Mart, I’m bound to see hoards of people who went to my high school. HOORAY!!
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Salt & Straw
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Another “hip” ice cream place, but it’s pretty great so I had to include it. I typically go for their more classic flavors, my favorite being Roasted Strawberry & White Chocolate (amazing), but I steer clear of their more “out there” options like Goat Cheese & Ginger Boysenberry Jam (can you tell that I hate the idea of cheese in ice cream… yuck).
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FUN ’N GAMES!
Across! 2. Improv Palace! 5. Deez ___! 7. Is it in retrograde?! 9. Sassy pixie! 10. My type of dessert!
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Down! 1. Looking in one direction! 3. Movie about prom gone wrong! 4. Maybe she's born with it...! 6. Purple Villainess! 8. Comedian Jerry
LETTERS OF REC Books to Read Whenever (Feat. Great Female Protagonists):
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Girl Boss by Sophia Amoruso Althea & Oliver by Cristina Moracho Man Repeller by Leandra Medine Mosquitoland by David Arnold Three Day Summer by Sarvenaz Tash Written in the Stars by Aisha Saeed
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Movies I’m Into Right Now (& Always):
The Talented Mr. Ripley Dir. Anthony Minghella The Untouchables Dir. Olivier Nakache, Eric Toledano The Godfather Dir. Francis Ford Coppola Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck Dir. Brett Morgen The Hunt Dir. Thomas Vinterberg Cinema Paradiso Dir. Giuseppe Tornatore Spice World Dir. Bob Spiers
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Thanks f o r stopping by!