THE CLASSROOM OF LIFE

By Phyllis Nicholson

One night after seventeen years of marriage and living the charmed life, the greatest of all challenges happened one night that would forever change my life. My husband, Eddy, had a major brain bleed, a major stroke. After four major strokes, four times to a rehab center, he was left unable to sing and speak. This was his livelihood, a national speaker, and revival leader all his life. We use to say it was like being in prison and never getting out. He loved being a national speaker and now his life was taken away.

We did all we could for Eddy, and during this time I truly learned what it was like to be a caregiver, provider, mother, and still minister to others in my church through my position. We did all we could for Eddy for five long years which finally ended in a nursing home. I went to the nursing home two to four times a day to see him and let him know how much we loved him. You see we had a daughter who was only in middle school and needed normalcy in her life. So needless to say there was lots of juggling going on. After five years, Eddy fought the good fight and died with Carolyn and me by his side. Now he was telling jokes in heaven and leading the choir in Amazing Grace.

Slowly I got through the angry, selfpity, resentment, and emotion and began to find hope in living again. No, we never want to forget, we will never be as we were, but we can learn to embrace the past and remember it is a gift from God and there are blessings through it all and opportunities to share in unique ways with women, children, youth, singles, and widows. Grace carried me through many years, and I love sharing my story with others. It can only be explained through His mighty presence in my life. My daughter grew up to be a wonderful Occupational Therapist who wants to help others as her Dad was helped through the years. Carolyn says she chose Occupational Therapy to help give people the quality of life they deserve and to get back to doing the things that bring them happiness and joy in life. She is the best and loves her patients. God really does bring light out of darkness! She has two beautiful children, Denton 2 ½ and Masie 5. I am Nana to them and love sharing life with them.

God was my eye in the storm and oh how he carried me under his wings. He gave me blessings beyond expectation. He saw beyond my faults and saw my needs. It has now been 17 years since Eddy’s death, and I continue to see how He blesses me every day and shows me new life after grief. At some point in our life when we are experiencing difficult situations (and they will come) we can choose to be a victor or a victim. I choose to be a victor.

Phyllis Nicholson has worked in both paid and volunteer positions in ministry for over 30 years. Prior to ministry she was Director of Sales for the Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau and the Gulf Coast Convention Bureau. Phyllis has led multiple groups in both the GriefShare and DivorceCare curriculum (visit www.griefshare. org or www.divorcecare.org for more information) and is presently developing and small groups on a volunteer basis. She lives in Ooltewah, TN and has one daughter, Carolyn, who has two beautiful children, Denton and Masie. She enjoys being Nana to them!