Shine ALOUD UK - Issue 5 - The Women's Issue by Shine ALOUD UK

MAGAZINE

ALOUD

sex & relationships with a different tone

ONLINE DATING

historical

facts about

would you?

CONTRACEPTION

The Realities of

FGM The

UNFA MOUS series

A Day with a

CSA ISSUE 5 | FEBRUARY 2014

l health a u x e s s â&#x20AC;&#x2122; ople young pe r newham o f e c i v r se

d e t s e Get T Get Sorted Get Protected Friendly, free, confidential services for 24s & under Contraception, condoms & emergency contraception Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, HIV, pregnancy tests & advice Counselling & support with relationships & decisions

Drop in: to a shine clinic SMS: 07624

802 242 CALL: 020 8586 8888 CONNECT: www.shine.nhs.uk 25s & over call 020 8586 5148

scan me

Debate

ONLINE DATING

We asked our Shine ALOUD readers whether meeting someone online, is the same as meeting them in person. Here’s what you had to say…

YES

Social networking makes meeting people easier, but it is the same thing as meeting the person in person! You can meet weirdos on and offline, the only difference is online gives you access to their whole life within minutes of becoming their friend or following them – especially if they’ve chosen to advertise themselves virtually. You can find out where they study, work, party and even who their friends are. You have access to their pictures, videos and can even see what hobbies they’re interested in. So when you meet them in person, you feel like you already know them. Think of social networking as the buffer in the ‘get to know you’ phase of a relationship, you have the ability to find out everything about your potential partner within a click of a button, or in many cases, tap of a screen if you’re using a tablet or touchscreen phone.

People can pretend to be who they want using social media, so it’s not the same as meeting them in person. They can post fake pictures and create a fake profile, because they’re hiding behind the screen. The reality is, you and I – as the receivers – have absolutely no way of checking that. There’s no way of regulating the abnormal, from the normal in the virtual world. People get caught up and caught out using dating sites to find that special someone, and although there have been success stories of people getting married and starting a life together, there are also horror stories of people being abducted or attacked, so we shouldn’t ignore them. It’s fine to interact with people online, but keep it as that, online and offline should be kept separate.

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We at Shine ALOUD believe you should be safe whatever you do, so if you do meet someone online and decide to meet them in person, make sure the area is busy and you are familiar with the location, someone is aware of where you’re going and you have access to a phone. At any time if you feel unsafe or sceptical leave or alert someone!

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Issue 5 | February 2014 Hi everyone, As you know, it’s been a year since our last issue, we’re sorry to keep you waiting, but there’s been a lot going on in the last 12 months. We’ve redesigned our site, been awarded £4,000 of funding from Lloyds Banking Group, we’re in the process of recruiting peer educators for our sexual health workshops, as well as staff for the magazine, we’ve been making partnerships with youth organisations and social enterprises, and so much more. So don’t worry we haven’t been sleeping! LOL This is the first physical issue of the magazine and we want to truly thank you, our 18,000 readers. You’ve supported us enormously over the last two years and you are the reason we are now being printed. You’ve show us that THERE IS a demand for Shine ALOUD Magazine and we hope that you continue to help us grow and develop our brand. Shine ALOUD UK aims to educate and entertain young people about sex and relationships using interactive media, as well as provide young people with the

opportunity to express sexuality through the use of creativity in the form of ideas, artwork, articles and more. This issue is our ‘Wonderful Woman’ issue in which were shining a light on the initiatives dedicated to raising aspirations and empowering young women within the realms of sex, relationships and youth culture, as well as highlighting some customs and practices that cause damage and put women’s health at risk. We hope that you enjoy reading this issue and will let us know what you think via Facebook, Twitter and of course our online site! We look forward to continuing the Shine ALOUD journey and hope you stay with us. Yours truly Ree xx Shine ALOUD Editor and Founder

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DEBATE

INFORMATION

Online Dating – Would You? Our Key Words

7 FEATURE 10 Facts About Contraception in the Past 10

FEATURE

HEALTH

SERVICES

DEBATE

FEATURE

SERVICES

Fantasy or Reality Scotty Unfamous Pregnancy Myths Debunked Deal with DV 16: The Age of Consent? Realities of FGM BelEve UK

34 SERVICES Abortion Support Network 37

FEATURE

Day in the life of a CSA

EDITOR IN CHIEF: Rianna Raymond-Williams DESIGN & LAYOUT: Lesley Mitchell Book Design CONTRIBUTORS: Shine NHS, Juvin Djoukouo, Carlo Pandian, Leanne Higgins, Georgina Walters, Mona Farah, Davina Cedras, Sophie Rowan, Marsha Powell and Shakira ’Scotty Unfamous’ Scott. Some images in this issue have been sourced from Devianart.com, we would like to take the time to thank some of the brilliant graphic designers and photographers who have allowed us to use their work in this issue. Additional images: graphicstock.com, rgbstock.com

Information

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Our KEY WORDS In this issue there are a few words that you’ll see more than once, so we thought it would be useful to give you some sharp and snappy definitions. We know most of you will know what a majority of our keywords mean, but just in case you don’t, here they are…

definition of dry sex is penetrative vaginal sex without lubrication i.e. wetness. This can be very painful for a female and can cause potential health risks.

FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION (FGM) Commonly known as FGM, this is a practice carried out on young girls and women to remove and damage their female sex organs.

ABORTION This is where a pregnancy is ended through medical assistance, which is different to a miscarriage where a baby dies naturally. A female may take medication or have a surgical procedure to end a pregnancy.

FANTASY This is an idea or vision that is not real, which includes elements of things that wouldn’t usually happen. For example someone may fantasize about a house or room made of chocolate.

CONSENT This means saying YES to something. For example, if your friend asks to borrow a DVD from you, you are consenting to them borrowing your stuff. So on the sex front, if you and your partner mutually agree to have sex, you are both consenting. It is illegal to have sex or perform sexual acts on someone who has not consented.

FERTILISATION If a male sperm has fertilised a woman’s egg through sex, a tiny egg is formed, formally known as an embryo or foetus. The baby grows and in 9 months the mother is ready to give birth.

GENITALIA This refers to the male and female sex or reproductive organs, such as the vulva and the penis.

CONTRACEPTION These are methods used to protect you from STIs and allow you to choose when and whether you want a baby. All young people you have access to free contraceptives through the NHS.

INFERTILITY When a man or woman cannot have a child they are infertile, unable to reproduce.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (DV) This is

MATERIALISM If a person becomes

the act of violent or aggressive behaviour that occurs in an intimate relationship. DV is not always physical and can affect you emotionally, psychologically, financially and virtually.

obsessed with physical possessions they are materialist. Therefore they are only interested in buying, spending and accumulating material wealth.

DRY SEX A lot of people think this is

community where people from across the globe interact together, for example, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and YouTube.

SOCIAL NETWORK This is the online

means sexual acts with clothes on, such as thrusting or humping. However the true

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facts about contraception methods The withdrawal method is the oldest form of contraception. This where the male pulls his penis out of the woman’s vagina just before he ejaculates or cums. In the Bible, the Book of Genesis references ‘coitus interruptus’, also known as withdrawal. It states Onan “spills his seed” – ejaculates – on the ground in order not father a child with his deceased brother’s wife, Tamar.

In 1850 bce, birth control methods consisted of honey, acacia leaves, fruit acids, jellies, pastes and various mixtures. These products were placed in the female’s vagina to block sperm from swimming up into the uterus. In Early Islam, during the 9th and 10th century, a Persian physician named Muhammad ibn Zakariya al-Razi, prescribed materials such elephant dung, cabbages and pitch – also known as resin. These substances were used as suppositories to block the cervix during sex

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Feature In 1967, America was the first country to develop the contraceptive hormone-filled capsules. The capsule was implanted under the skin to stop pregnancy.

In the 7th century oil and quicksilver were heated together to form a sterility pill for women who no longer wanted to have children.

The introduction of the diaphragm in Victorian England contributed to the freedom and liberation of women. This method allowed them to control their own fertility for the first time. In 1885, Walter Rendell, an English pharmacist, developed the first commercial vaginal suppository using cocoa butter and quinine sulphate. This was later replaced by hydroquinone, a more potent spermicide. During the 18th century and onwards, condoms were made from animal intestines. Early Egyptians used various forms of penis protectors for protection against disease and insects, and as badges of rank and decoration. Oral contraceptives date back more than 2,000 years. Early methods include eating willow shoots, bees and male deer horn scrapings.

In the 1880s, a German gynaecologist, C. Haase, published the first description of a rubber contraceptive device with a spring moulded into the rim. Various cultures have used cervix-shaped devices such as oiled paper cones or lemon halves and applied them to the cervical opening during sex.

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Unfamous is a dramatic coming-of-age tale about love, lust, lies and London’s urban elite. The four-part series chronicles Rio Greene’s first year at Brompton University where she reinvents herself in order to try and become one of the most popular people of her generation – an Unfamous. Unfortunately for Rio, her past hinders her dreams of becoming the new ‘It Girl’ when it follows her into her new life with some unfinished business.

By Georgina Walters

In today’s society, it may feel like people are always looking for love – unknowingly – but how much are we really being influenced to find a keep that special someone?

Growing up as a child, you’re thrust into a world of fairy tales, from Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, each with the common factor of love. Many of these films and stories we read during our childhood follow us into adulthood some way or another, resulting in us hoping and trying to find our ‘happily ever after’. I S S U E 5 | F E B RUA R Y 2 014

Mara Hassan, a 19-year-old Londoner believes “television and film create this illustration of love and romance. We see so much of it that we start to believe it, which leads to us to judge our own relationships based from what we’ve seen on our screens.” A common issue in relationships is that people begin to lose sight of what they have and compare it to what they want. Whether you’ve been with your partner

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for six months or two years, your story of how you met, despite what you see on TV, is not always going to be as jaw-dropping or have the ‘wow’ factor.

films play up on what we really desire, but unfortunately don’t receive, in our actual relationships.

There isn’t anything wrong with a sweet and simple story: ‘We met at the train station, we’d been taking the same route for over a month’ or ‘we met in Asda, doing our weekly shop’, each story is unique to each couple, so don’t get caught up chasing the fantasies.

If you’ve never been in a relationship, it is natural for your mind to wonder and have questions about what it’s like, but the truth is that each relationship is different and even if you seek advice from the people closest to you, there’s not a one-size-fits-all answer or model.

One of the worse things to do in a relationship is to go looking for something that you don’t have. If it wasn’t already there, don’t waste time forcing it to happen. Not everyone can have Mr-SixFoot-Four who drives the latest car and is the CEO of his own company, you have to be realistic. Consider: what do you have to offer in a relationship?

“Most films makes the situation seem so simple,” says Rachel Kreuder. She continues, “Young people can become naïve as they start to expect what they see to be the same for everyone.”

Don’t go chasing your dream partner, when you’re not one yourself. Take time to invest in you and become the person you’ve always wanted to be. You’re sure to attract right kind of attention, and even if you don’t, you can quickly identify who is not for you, especially if you know what you want.

Romantic comedies, also known as ‘romcoms’, and ‘chick flicks’ are becoming a widely popular genre within the film industry and a go-toguide for those searching for Mr or Mrs Right. As the popularity of the genre continues to grow in the 21st century it’s not surprising that there’s practically a movie

For Mia Abdi, 25, “films play up on what we really desire, but unfortunately don’t receive, in our actual relationships.”

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Although it’s clear movies are there for our entertainment there is still a collective theme of false hope that is portrayed. title for everyone in any situation, here are examples of a few:

and career – and not forgetting her lack of a man! She then falls in love with a guy, but the feelings aren’t mutual. And then finds love with the only guy (and seemingly right guy) who finds her attractive.

Pretty Woman: A rich man meets a girl with an unconventional job, in the film’s case, a prostitute. They fall in love with each other, despite being polar opposites. They then start a new life together in the hope that their love will remove all negativity and hardship from their pasts.

“They show the typical meeting and falling in love, and one way or another the girl always gets the person they want in the end. That’s not how life always works,” says Harley Sapler.

Knocked Up: A one-night-stand between an unemployed ‘lazy’ man and careerfocused woman turns into a life-changing situation when she finds out she’s pregnant. They argue, and initially fail to get along, but end up moving in together living ‘happily ever after’.

Although it’s clear movies are there for our entertainment there is still a collective theme of false hope that is portrayed in comparison to reality. Most are unrealistic when handling key issues in a relationship. They all opt for the safe option. On the other hand, if you’re serious about looking for a fairytale ending, don’t rely solely on these films to make it happen!

Bridget Jone’s Diary: A 30-somethingyear-old female journalist struggles with several factors of life such as her weight

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By Rianna Raymond-Williams

luckily for me, Unfamous did. I’ve found that a lot of the readers and viewers can identify with the people and situations that arise in the story. The general concept of Unfamous depicts the reality of this generation’s obsession with celebrity culture.”

“Unfamous is a coming of age tale chronicling the journey of Rio Greene’s first year in university, focusing on love, lust, lies and London’s urban elite,” says Shakira Scott, also known as ‘Scotty Unfamous’, writer of the book and web series Unfamous.

Scotty felt it was important for her to illustrate the values and struggles of modern day student life, such as: rampant materialism, unhealthy relationships, peer pressure, pregnancy, drugs and alcohol misuse. She continues, “We’ve taken being popular to a new level. There’s a need for a certain level of social status that encourages young people to look beyond themselves for acceptance, which drives them to do things out of character, for the approval of others. I want(ed) to show how destructive validating your selfworth, by the opinions of others can be.”

Shine ALOUD decided to catch up with Scotty herself, to find out why she started the project, what she was trying to create and her plans for the future. “When you’re a creative and you put your work out there, you want it to have an impact on those who experience it, and

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I want(ed) to show how destructive validating your self-worth, by the opinions of others can be.

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“It this current climate where social media is everything. It seems as though young people are hungry to fit into categories in order to be accepted. Everyone’s determined to show that they are ‘prestige’ to appear a certain way to their peers online.”

With regard to how creating this project has helped her grow both personally and professionally, she says, “Through this process I’ve learnt that if you have a dream, you have to go for it and give it everything you have. Any challenge you come up against is an opportunity to learn, grow and come back better than ever. The only limits you have are the ones that you set for yourself. It’s a hard and long process, but it’s worth it.”

“I want (young people) to understand that the best thing they can do for themselves is to be themselves and love it!” Unfamous is specifically targeted at, “young people who are at that awkward stage in life, where they are transitioning into adulthood and trying to figure who they really are. I want them to understand that no matter how rosy everything looks from the outside, even the people they idolise, have issues and insecurities.” “I included domestic abuse because I don’t think they (society) are actually aware of how common it is among young couples, people tend to associate it more with married couples, but you’d be surprised at how many young people are actually experiencing it – even I’ve been through it.” She says young people should know that, “there’s always someone they can talk to, they just have to take the first step and reach out. There are free clinics that offer a variety of services and a lot of information on whatever you need to know about sex or relationships. I definitely believe the support is there. I think that the support could be made better by communicating with young people on more of an informal level, it might help if they could seek advice from someone they feel they can relate to.”

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Although Scotty doesn’t believe it is an icon’s or public figure’s duty to educate young people about sex and relationships, she still

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feels that, “it’s good when they do, because people like to hear advice from the people they idolise, as they already have a connection with them.” Scotty is currently in the process of preparing her online YouTube series entitled ‘Scotty’s Dramas’, via www. youtube.com/SwearDownTV. This is where people will be able to write in to her about their relationship issues and she will answer them on the show. She says, “talking about sex will become less taboo over time on its own, like it’s been doing. The Brits are just a touch more prim about it than other western societies so it may take a while, but we’ll catch up eventually.”

I want them to understand that no matter how rosy everything looks from the outside, even the people they idolise, have issues and insecurities.

When asked what plans she has for the future, Scotty says, “I’ve been told that the whole Unfamous movement in general, is very inspiring. Unfamous started out as a Facebook story and now it’s a published book, a multi-award nominated web series.” “The Flourish Drama Company turned it into the first stage production in history to sell out London’s Lost Theatre and it won me the BYA Literary Arts award. I’d love to do another season of Unfamous, definitely more books, my new advice show Scotty’s Dramas, and whatever else I decide to put my mind to” “Watch this space!”, she finishes. To watch Unfamous or to read the books, log on to www.theunfamousseries.com

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Whilst some people feel more cautious about hurting the baby, especially in the late trimester, the baby cannot be harmed through penetration. Strong uterine muscles, a thick cervical plug and the amniotic sac ensure the baby is protected. However, you should be cautious of STDs during sex, as they can be transmitted to your baby and cause dangerous complications.

By Carlo Pandian

Caffeine consumption is a hot topic within the mother-and-baby circle. It’s well known that caffeine can cross the placenta and increase both the heart rate and the breathing rate of your developing baby, but whether this causes any actual harm is still unknown. Some studies have shown drinking more than 200mg – the amount in a standard 12-ounce cup – each day during pregnancy has been shown to double the risk of miscarriage. Again, it’s about drinking in moderation.

When a woman is pregnant, it seems as though every man and his dog has an opinion on what she should and shouldn’t be doing and eating. Most people opt for the ‘if in doubt – leave it out’ option, but if you’re worried about missing your long-awaited holiday or having your roots reveal – because you’re not a natural blonde, read on for common pregnancy myths and the reasoning behind them.

When an expectant mother’s core temperature rises above 102.2 °F, it can lead to a reduced heart rate, which can reduces oxygen supply to your baby. High, recurrent

Pregnancy

DEBUNKED

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fevers and extreme external temperatures have been shown to increase the risk of miscarriage in the first six weeks so whilst a hot bath may be suitable to relax tired, aching muscles, hot tubs and saunas should be avoided.

do with the risk of mid-flight labour.

Whilst you are eating for two, this doesn’t mean you should consume two adult-sized portions. Instead you should concentrate on increasing your nutritional intake. With an average prepregnancy weight, only 300 extra calories are needed each day – of which you should aim to eat low calorie-high nutritional foods such as raw fruits and vegetables.

Although you may get a few side-looks sitting in the salon chair getting your hair coloured, the amount of chemicals absorbed by the skin from hair dye and relaxers is minimal and have not been proven to be harmful to you or your baby. However, strong odours may make some women feel nauseous though, so use in a well-ventilated room.

Exercise during pregnancy is very much dependent on the mother. Some find they can continue their previous level of exercise with no problems, whilst some experience exhaustion after a slight increase in activity. Your body will tell you how much it can or can’t handle so it’s important to realise when it’s calling out for you to take a break and rest.

In general, a healthy pregnant mother should be OK with air travel and there is no proven risk for miscarriage with regular flights. However, certain health complications, such as hypertension, can be exacerbated with flying. If you’re planning a trip in your last trimester you should check that the airline is happy for you to travel with them. This has less to do with medical complications and more to

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So there you have it, pregnancy myths debunked. For more information on pregnancy related topics log on to www.nhs.co.uk

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Domestic violence is not just about the bruises. There is the financial, emotional, psychological and now virtual aspect of abuse.

DEAL

with

By Rianna Raymond-Williams

“If a girl got her bum slapped by a boy in public, she would just accept it as though it’s normal and maybe even say ‘that’s life’. It is not acceptable and young people should be aware of warning signs of domestic violence and abuse,” says Leanne Higgins, 25, owner and founder of Deal With DV, a youth-led and youth-owned enterprise that aims to raise awareness of domestic violence and abuse in London. Shine ALOUD caught up with Leanne to find out why she started the company, what services it provides and what is yet to come for the future of Deal with DV.

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Deal with DV officially launched in March 2013, under the umbrella company Empowering and Motivating Young People for a Brighter Future, also known as EMBF. Although Leanne had delivered workshops around domestic violence in her full-time role as a detached youth worker, it wasn’t enough. Her personal experience of domestic violence, in which she says “all my relationships have been unhealthy in some way,” influenced her to fill the

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gap in the market, to cater to young people experiencing violence and abuse in relationships. Leanne wanted to provide a service that was engaging, informative and, most importantly, youthfriendly, for young women and men like herself. She felt that current services were not opened outside of the usual 9–5 hours and notable services such as Women’s Aid, Tender and Refuge mainly targeted women and children. Domestic violence is one of the greatest criminal problems in the UK, accounting for a quarter of all violent crime. Crime statistics and research show that domestic violence is gender specific, i.e. predominantly experienced by women and perpetrated by men. The reality is that 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence at some time in their lives, regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, class, sexuality, mental or physical ability, or lifestyle. It is women who suffer the most serious harm, intimidation, threats, rape and strangulation. Leanne recalls “speaking to friends and family didn’t help, they would just tell me to leave,

and it’s not that easy.” Statistics show that women are at a higher risk of violence and of being killed after leaving violent partners with 76% of separated women reporting post-separation violence. With victims being more at risk when leaving their abuser, it is essential for them to get the right support that allows them to be safe and confident in their decision. Often victims go back because, they feel reluctant or ashamed to tell anyone or seek help, they become worried about their

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financial stability and overall they believe their partner will change. The fact that domestic violence is not being covered in the mainstream curriculum poses an even bigger problem, leaving young people unable to identify warning signs and behaviours. “Domestic violence is not just about

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the bruises. There is the financial, emotional, psychological and now virtual aspect of abuse,” says Leanne. “Young people are beginning to accept certain behaviours.” For example, a partner continuously checking up on them or phoning them when they’re out with friends, often translates into ‘he/ she loves me and just wants to be with me’. Additionally, a partner repetitively saying nasty things about how they look translates into ‘he/ she doesn’t want me going out attracting the wrong attention’ or ‘he/she’s just being honest, that’s what relationships are about.’

who they spend their time with as well as who they are intimate with.

relationships, social and digital media manipulation as well as other topics.

Leanne was lucky enough to get initial funding from O2 Think Big for a poster campaign on DV, she was then funded again by O2 Think Bigger, Starbucks Youth in Action, Vinspired Cashpoint and most recently, the Big Lottery Fund where she was granted £10,000 to continue to develop and expand the business.

Additionally she runs ongoing 1-2-1 sessions with young people helping them to overcome issue of DV an abuse, as well as CV-writing and application advice and support for young people aged 13–19.

Currently Leanne has embarked on delivering training for professionals, in which she covers topics such as prevalence of abuse in teenage dating relationships, young people’s language and attitude in relation to

Leanne is currently preparing for an awareness event which will launch in February, she says, “our events are for young people to have fun, network with others gain information on teen relationships. We will make the events as engaging as possible! Making it different to the generic youth conference structure.”

For more information you can now follow Deal with DV via Facebook and Twitter.

Evidently, these are both warning signs of domestic violence and only through educating young people, they can begin to make informed choices about

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The Age of Consent? For many young people in the UK, the age of consent is just another number; another regulation that doesn’t really mean anything.

By Sophie Rowan

young people under the age of consent have the right to free and confidential sexual health services

Most people think that young people are having sex younger and younger. You could call this a ‘moral panic’. However, statistics published recently from the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyle, (NATSAL), illustrates that not a lot has changed over the last ten years. About two thirds of people in the UK don’t have sex until after the age of consent, so only about a third of young people are becoming sexually active before 16.

Just like adults, young people have the right to separate their sexual health files from their GP’s files. Some clinics even have allocated hours specifically for young people, and some clinics, such as Brook are only for young people under 25.

According the Fraser guidelines, “young people under the age of consent have the right to free and confidential sexual health services.” Therefore, sexual health professionals working with under-16s are trained to provide contraceptive advice and treatment, and can use their professional judgement to provide these services without parental consent.

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SRE: Sex and Relationships Education In countries such as the Netherlands and Sweden where young people receive sex and relationship education

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Debate

(SRE) earlier, evidence suggests early SRE has a positive effect on young people’s relationships and sexual experiences. Yes, there are still a few voices teetering on the edge of anti-SRE and even abstinence education, however, most people in the UK are in favour of sex education – especially when they are informed about what SRE really is.

The message we consistently get from young people of all ages is ‘we need more sex education’. So yes, teach about STIs and contraception in biology, but back it up with thorough SRE on attitudes and values, healthy relationships & communication, sexual bullying, sexual exploitation & consent, sexual pleasure, contraception & STIs, and sex & the law and so on.

Age of Consent In the UK, the Sexual Offences Act 2003 has guidelines around young people who are close in age, where one, or both of them are under the age of consent, for example a boy of 15 and a girl of 14. If someone reported their relationship, but they were deemed to be consenting (presumably by whichever local police force to whom the report is made), it wouldn’t be ‘in the public interest’ to prosecute them for breaking the law, so they’d be fine. It is really important that both people are consenting to sex, whatever age they may be. Most people understand the difference between two consenting 15 year olds, and someone taking advantage or manipulating somebody.

No consent Regardless of age, taking advantage, manipulating or pressuring someone into sexual activity is against the law. A sexual partner must consent by choice, and must have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. If someone is pressured, they don’t have the freedom to

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make that choice – even if they’re ‘going along’ with it, it is not true consent. If someone has been drinking or taking drugs, and their decision-making ability is impaired, then they don’t have the capacity to make that choice. Lots of people are not clear about the law: any sexual contact without consent is sexual assault. And more specifically, penetration of a mouth, anus or vagina by a penis without consent is rape. Intimate partner abuse, relationship abuse, domestic violence, whatever you call it – it’s clearly still a serious problem. According to NSPCC research (2009) with young people: ● A quarter of girls and 18 per cent of boys reported some form of physical partner violence ● Nearly three-quarters of girls and half of boys reported some form of emotional partner violence ● One in three girls and 16 per cent of boys reported some form of sexual partner violence

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Lots of people are not clear about the law: any sexual contact without consent is sexual assault. “Girls experienced all three forms of partner violence more frequently than boys and reported more severe forms. Many girls stated that the violence had a highly detrimental impact on their welfare; boys nearly always said it had little, if any, negative consequence, apart from making them annoyed. This is not to imply that boys’ experiences of victimisation should be ignored. It may be that boys minimise the impact of the violence due to the need to portray a certain form of masculinity.”

Debate

It’s worth noting that until the Sexual Offences Act only a decade ago, the law around age of consent was pretty homophobic. For males having sex with males, consent was at 18 and there was no legislation whatsoever about age of consent for females having sex with females. I think perhaps lots of people don’t know, or they forget, how far we’ve come so recently.

If sexual pleasure is the main thing that’s missing from current education work, then maybe that’s what should be addressed. If young people know what enthusiastic, pleasurable consent looks like – perhaps things will be a lot clearer. A version of this article first appeared on www.sophierowan. wordpress.com

● We need to listen to young people ● We need good sex education not scaremongering or moral panics about the ‘sexualisation’ of childhood or the ‘pornification’ of society ● We need sex education to be about consent and sexual pleasure

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THE REALITIES OF FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION By Mona Farah and Davina Cedras

For millions of young women, Female Genital Mutilation, (FGM) is a common cultural practice. According to the World Health Organisation, FGM refers to the ‘partial or total removal of the external female genitalia’. To date, the procedure has affected the lives of over 125 million young women, in parts of the Middle East, Asia and in 42 countries across sub-Saharan and North East African. Shine ALOUD decided to find out exactly why the practice was started, what effects it has on all women and why it should be stopped.

Talking about genitals is already a sensitive issue. So when things have been disfigured downstairs, it makes it even harder for young women to feel confident or comfortable to discuss sexual health. FGM is not cosmetic, and in many cases – not consented to. It is a procedure carried

out on girls, from the age of 6 up until puberty. Although many cultures refer to hygienic, cultural spiritual and psychological reasons to justify FGM, there have never been any medical benefits that validate the practice. Many cultures and traditions believe FGM:

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● Increases female fertility. ● Increases male sex drive. ● Decreases female sex drive. ● Purifies and beautifies a woman. ● Preserves a woman’s virginity. ● And lastly, is a compulsory religious requirement that cleans a female.

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Despite the fact that FGM is practiced in some Muslim and Christian communities, neither the Quran nor the Bible mention the procedure. In many cultures, girls who are not virgins, are seen to have ‘damaged’ their chances of being married, which result in them being shunned and dishonoured by their family and community, as they are seen as ‘tainted’ or ‘used’. Unfortunately, there are many parts of the world where this ideology still exists. Yet, out of all of these ideas, the only factual statement, is FGM ‘decreases a woman’s sex drive’.

size of the mons pubis varies depending on hormone levels and body fat. After puberty, it generally becomes covered with pubic hair

Outer Labia (or Labia Majora) Labia is the Latin word for lips. Just like lips open to reveal the mouth, the outer labia can open to reveal the inner parts of the vulva.

Inner Labia (or Labia Minora) These are a second, smaller set of lips between the outer labia, and between them is the rest of the vulva, including the clitoris, the opening to the urethra and the opening to the vagina. Some people are worried about their labia; they think it should be neat and symmetrical. Actually, people should think of their vulvas as more like their faces. You wouldn’t expect your face to be identical to your friend’s, or someone’s you’ve seen on TV, so why should your labia?

The Vulva Before we discuss the consequences of FGM and what it actually involve, it’s important to understand what exactly is being mutilated. So here it is, a big, healthy vulva:

Clitoris The clitoris is like a fleshy little button near the top of the inner labia with a hood of skin sitting on top of it. Because the clitoris contains thousands of nerve endings – it’s really sensitive – stimulating it can be very pleasurable for some women, but everybody’s different, and some women prefer to be stimulated in other ways.

Often mistakenly referred to as the vagina, Vulva is the correct name for the whole external female genital area. It’s basically a medical way of saying ‘a girl’s privates’ and includes all the other bits, such as:

The opening to the Urethra

Mons Pubis

The opening to the Vagina

The mons pubis is the area of flesh over the pubic bone. It’s soft and sensitive. The

This opening allows access to the famous vagina, which is the tunnel that leads to

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The urethra has an important job, but isn’t a sex organ. The opening to the urethra is above the vaginal opening and is where urine leaves the body.

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the uterus. The uterus is where a fertilised egg can grow into a baby- but we’re not talking about that now. Now we’re all about the vulva. So now we know what the vulva consists of, it’s time to learn about the shocking reality of the way some people are attacking young women’s vulvas with little understanding of the emotional and medical problems this can cause. As mentioned earlier, there is no evidence to support

or justify FGM. However, we can now see what is supported. Could it possibly be that FGM is medically proven to curb female sexual desire?

Different types of FGM There are 3 types of FGM, these can be seen in the following:

Type 1: This usually refers to the removal of the ‘clitoral hood’, also known as the prepuce, which is a fold of skin that surrounds and protects the glans of

Anterior A. Prepuce removal only or B. Prepuce removal and partial or total removal of the clitoris.

Clitoris

Labia minora

Urethra opening

Labia majora

Vagina

Posterior A. NORMAL

B. TYPE 1

Removal of the clitoris plus part or all of the labia minora.

C. TYPE II

D. TYPE III

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Removal of part or all of the labia minora, with the labia majora sewn together, covering the urethra and vagina and leaving a small hole for urine and menstrual fluid.

the clitoris – like a male’s foreskin – sometimes the clitoris is also removed in this procedure.

Type 2: This level involves the removal of the clitoris and sometimes the inner and outer labia.

Type 3: This level is the removal of all external genitalia. Once that is done, the wound is sewn closed. In African countries twigs or thorns are used to secure the wound and the female’s legs are bound together from the hips to the ankle, until the wound is healed. A small hole is left for the female to urinate from.

Consequences Some of the immediate consequences can be haemorrhaging and infection. Haemorrhaging occurs when the clitoral artery is cut, as it has a high blood flow and any damage to it can cause continual bleeding. Similarly, bacterial infections can be caught as a result of unsterile equipment. Longer term consequences include: ● Viruses, such a Hepatitis and HIV.

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● Sexual dysfunction, which can cause a low sex drive. ● Psychological complications, such as post-traumatic stress disorder. ● Difficulty passing urine, as a result of the vaginal opening being too narrow. ● Increased child birth complications, occasionally leading to babies being stillborn. ● Painful sexual intercourse, often resulting in women having reconstructive surgery. ● And, longer menstrual cycles or none at all, resulting in women developing internal complications leading to infertility.

Although the practice is prevalent in Africa, figures show that 66,000 women in the UK are living with the consequences of the procedure and unfortunately, 20,000 young girls under the age of 15, are currently at risk. A young girl is usually taken to her home country during a school holiday, where the procedure is carried out by the village practitioner or local nurse. Although the practice is illegal, and perpetrators face a prison sentence of up 14 years, FGM is still carried out by first-generation immigrants, refugees and asylum seekers living in areas such as London, Birmingham, Milton Keynes and Reading.

There is a belief that women who have the extreme form of FGM must be “opened” by their husband, so sex for the first is extremely painful. In some cultures, a woman is opened for sexual intercourse by her husband, but once he leaves to travel, she must be stitched up again. Studies conducted in Egypt show that woman between the ages of 16 - 49 years old experience a reduced sexual desire, low levels of sexual activity, arousal and lubrication difficulties. However, this is not seen as a problem as in some African countries, men prefer “dry sex” due to difficulties of climaxing.

How can you help?

There are many support groups and agencies here in the UK that are working towards putting a stop to FGM globally. Only through educating each other, can we begin to save the lives of thousands of young women.

FGM is surrounded by many myths to justify the injustice, abuse and ongoing pain women are subjected to. Yet, in reality, FGM, seeks to lower female sexual pleasure.

For more information on how you can campaign against FGM log on to www.dofeve.org

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BelEve! By Rianna Raymond-Williams

“The death of my mother motivated me to live my purpose and turn by dream into a reality” says Marsha Powell, owner and founder of BelEve UK, the social enterprise that supports, inspires and motivates young women to reach their full potential. Shine ALOUD decided to catch up with Marsha to find out more about BelEve UK and the impact her work is having in the community.

what it feels like not to have the unconditional support and guidance.” The death of Marsha’s mother had an immense effect on her, but through it all, she found the courage and bravery to leave her career of 13 years to set up BelEve UK to support other young women.

“You’re probably wondering what BelEve means or why the “I” is missing? BelEve originates from the combination of two names, Bel as in ‘TinkerBell’ and ‘Eve’, as in the first women on earth. These names together stand for ‘Beautiful First Lady’. We at BelEve UK, strongly believe all young women have the potential to transform – with the right support and guidance – like butterflies, into beautiful women. The name represents what we are destined to achieve, for young women, this is believing that they have the potential to become Beautiful First Ladies.”

“We are committed to ensuring that every girl and young woman who engages with our service feels supported in whatever challenges they are facing,” says Marsha. She identifies hope, purpose, inspiration, self-esteem and confidence as a few of the many attributes BelEve UK aims to instil in young women aged 10–21. “We recently finished a 15-week programme, and the young women all said it was the first time they felt they were listened to and their needs were at the forefront of our delivery.”

“We want our young women to feel inspired and confident to build a vision. As a young woman, I had such a great role-model, Delores Diana Hay, who taught me how to be a friend, sister and great mother, whilst dealing with the challenges womanhood brings. Three years on, I know

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Marsha highlighted youth unemployment, unhealthy relationships and mental health as some of the major issues affecting young people today.

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She says, “It’s important to discuss current issues that are affecting young people in order to gain their perspective. During the summer of 2013, we supported Lewisham’s Young Mayor’s office in delivering a ‘Girl’s Talk’ event. This enabled the young women to have a voice and provided them an opportunity to discuss the activities that could take place to support the change needed.” “We add value and give value through our programmes by being different, following our hearts and giving our all. Through engendering change and bringing solutions, BelEve UK bridges the gap between aspirations and reality for young women. There are a number of organisations that support young women, namely: Inspirational You, BayTree Center, Lewisham Young Women’s Project, She is You and the Sister Circle Project. In essence we all have the same purpose and that is to support girls and young women.” “We need to connect more young women with positive role models, who can support them in moving closer to their chosen pathway, whilst guiding them in understanding the how to become a phenomenal woman. Every young women can achieve their full potential if they are given the right tools, their mind-set is nurtured and they are given the right opportunities.”

“We have received positive feedback about our service, however we have learnt that you cannot be everything to everybody and that it’s OK to say ‘No’ sometimes. My mentor Lorna Stewart always says ‘keep on purpose and you will always achieve your objectives’.” “I think what Shine ALOUD is delivering is innovative, it’s fresh, informative and simple to read, which means young people will engage with the messages. We need to talk about sex and relationships more to ensure that young people understand that sex is not love and a relationship is when two people have mutual respect for each other. Your public status does not dictate your responsibility, nor your personal knowledge on the subject matter. I believe your impact on a young person will determine how much they respect you and the time they will spend listening to your perspective. We all have a responsibility to educate young people about sex and relationships.” “Partnership-working is at the very centre of BelEve UK’s service delivery philosophy. For 2014 I hope to collaborate with organisations to ensure collectively we are supporting girls and young women in an innovative way that delivers outcomes. This demonstrates the individual and social changes we are dedicated to achieving.” For more information on BelEve UK, Twitter Facebook or simply log on to www.beleveuk.org .

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SHINE ALOUD ISSUE 6 WILL BE OUT IN JUNE 2014 Issue 5 will be our men’s issue, where we’ll be shining a light some of the inspiring and innovative projects and services that cater to need of males in terms of sexual health and youth culture, as well as highlighting some of struggles facing men. Topics for this issue include:

● Life as a father. ● Birth control for men. ● Men and mental health. ● What makes a man, a real man? ● 5 Relationship problems and how to solve them. And of course, much more. We’re always looking to hear from our readers about what is important to them, especially the men, so don’t hesitate to get in touch with us. Log on to shineALOUD.co.uk or follow us @ShineALOUD or join us Facebook/shineALOUDUK

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Abortion Support Network By Sophie Rowan (ASN Volunteer)

Imagine you’re a 16 year old girl. You live with your parents and you go to college. You have a boyfriend, who’s 17 – you’ve been together for a few months now. He loves you, you love him.

They would definitely not think you have a choice about whether to continue with the pregnancy. You’d be sent away to keep it a secret from the community, and then have to give it up for adoption. Or if you refused to give it up for adoption then they would just disown you, you’d be poor and alone and where would your boyfriend be? Off to university, like all your friends.

Two weeks before Christmas, the worst thing that could possibly happen – happens. You get pregnant. You tell your boyfriend, who freaks out. He says he wants nothing to do with you. You try calling him but he doesn’t answer. At college he blanks you. You have no money and no job. You’re just a student and you’re not even an adult. You don’t feel ready to be a parent.

You don’t know what to do. You think you’d better go speak to someone, you need to know how far along the pregnancy is. You can’t go to your doctor – they might tell your parents – so you decide to go to the local clinic.

Your religion is against sex before marriage and you can’t tell your parents. They would be so angry with you.

But you don’t live in East London. You live in County Carlow in Ireland. You don’t have a local clinic.

ASN is not a campaigning or lobbying organisation. While other organisations campaign for much needed law reform, our work provides immediate, practical support to women who are unable to access safe and legal abortion in their own countries. I S S U E 5 | F E B RUA R Y 2 014

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It’s over an hour to get to Dublin. You get the bus at the weekend for a ‘crisis pregnancy’ appointment at the Dublin Well Woman Centre. You’re lucky – they aren’t one of those fake clinics that you’ve heard about, that lie about abortion and tell you it causes all sorts of health problems and that it’s a sin. They are very clear and very supportive: it’s your choice.

You call Abortion Support Network. They are volunteers in England who help women and girls like you. They listen to you, they give you some websites and phone numbers, and they tell you not to worry and that it will all be OK. You cry. You say you always believed abortion was wrong. They tell you that it’s your choice. You book an appointment at the clinic and some cheap flights with your birthday money. You have to pretend you’re going to Christmas shopping with a friend in London. Your parents aren’t happy about it, but they allow you to go since you’ve already arranged it. You go the weekend before Christmas. You’ve never taken a plane before. It’s scary. You arrive in

The only people who know about the pregnancy are your ex-boyfriend and the woman at the centre in Dublin. You can’t tell anyone else. You can’t trust anyone. You want to end the pregnancy. In Ireland abortion is against the law. What do you do?

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London and a volunteer from Abortion Support Network allows you to stay overnight at their home. You go to the clinic and give them your last £70. They charge the rest of the cost – £270 – to the Abortion Support Network charity. You’re glad you’re not too far along in the pregnancy because you know the price doubles and triples the later it gets. When you get home they ask you where all your things are from the shopping trip. You have to lie and say you lost your bank card so you couldn’t buy anything in London. You text your ex-boyfriend to tell him what you’ve done. He doesn’t reply. Imagine you are a single parent with three children who can barely afford to live, let alone eat, your partner lost his job and you are struggling to feed everybody.

Abortion Support Network, ASN, is an all-volunteer charity that provides financial assistance, accommodation and confidential, non-judgemental information to women forced to travel from Ireland and Northern Ireland and pay privately for abortions in England. The cost ranges from £400 to £2000 depending on circumstance and stage of pregnancy.

Imagine you are a woman with grown-up children, who gets pregnant and doesn’t want to have another baby. Imagine you are in an abusive, violent relationship and you can’t bear the idea of bringing a child into this dangerous household, a child that would potentially tie you to your abuser for at least 16 years.

Imagine you are pregnant after you were raped. Imagine you have found out that your pregnancy will end in either a stillbirth or the baby will be born only to live for a few days, or a few hours. Imagine that the condom split.

If you would like to donate, volunteer or find out more information on ASN you can log on to www.abortionsupport.org.uk

Imagine that you are pregnant and you don’t want to be.

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Chlamydia Screening Assistant Where it has taken me I never knew much about the job opportunities that existed beyond retail for students. I needed a job that was flexible and paid well to earn a little cash alongside my studies. As soon as I became a Chlamydia Screening Assistant – CSA – I didn’t just enter a job, but a sector with a wide range of opportunities. The job has taken me across Barking and Newham as a CSA for The Terrence Higgins Trust and Sexual Health Administrator for the NHS, to Bulgaria as a Sexual Health Ambassador for MBARC, to the annual Sexual Health Awards as a Peer Educator for Shine NHS and most importantly, made me the recipient of cash injections, from the likes of 02 Think Big, Zeon Richards, The Alec Dickinson Trust, Starbucks Youth in Action and most recently Lloyds Banking Group – all of whom have supported Shine ALOUD Magazine.

What started out as me collecting piss for a living, thankfully turned into a flourishing career path.

A typical shift My first shift was in Stratford Shopping Centre in February 2009. There was a large group of us who were all newly employed by THT to be CSAs.

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Current statistics show that 1 in 10 young people are at risk of having the infection, but because there are no symptoms they are unaware. Initially, it was daunting, everyone that we attempted to stop, thought we was trying to sell them something or trying to get them to pledge money to a charity – how wrong were they?

CHLAMYDIA Anyone can get a free confidential Chlamydia test at a sexual health clinic, a GUM clinic (genitourinary medicine) or a GP surgery.

What we were, and are still doing, was making young people aged 15–24 sexually aware. Through signposting young people to sexual health provisions and services in and around the borough, by providing information via leaflets and hand-outs, issuing contraception such as condoms and lubricants, and providing on the spot STI testing – all in all, we were providing a comprehensive service that many young people are too embarrassed to go to clinic for.

Research suggests that 50% of men and 70-80% of women don’t get symptoms at all with Chlamydia infection. Chlamydia is passed on from one person to another through unprotected sex. A common warning sign of the infection is pain during urinating. Five ways in which Chlamydia can be caught are through oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, the exchange of sex toys and mutual masturbation or foreplay.

‘Hi have you got two minutes, we’re doing free chlamydia and gonorrhoea testing’ that would be the opening to my pitch. It would generally get a passer-by’s attention, the usual response would be a giggle accompanied by an inquisitive facial expression or a total look of dismay to which I would be asked, ‘you’re doing what…’ as if I said something totally obscene.

Chlamydia is easily treated with antibiotics. However, if untreated, the infection can sometimes spread to other parts of your body and lead to serious longterm health problems such as pelvic inflammatory disease and infertility.

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Anyway, it didn’t bother me, I used it to my advantage to continue “Yes,” I would say

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with a smile and slight smirk, “free chlamydia and gonorrhoea testing! Current statistics show that 1 in 10 young people are at risk of having the infection, but because there are no symptoms they are unaware. All you do is take a urine sample, which you can bring back to me, or post yourself, I take your name, number, date birth and mobile number and send you results in 5–10 working days.”

Impact of the role On a good day I can get up a minimum of 5 young people to take a test, whether I’m in a hostel, college, university, shopping centre, library or leisure centre. The people are always different and they always have questions, which makes the role even more exciting. Being a CSA and peer educator has allowed to look at sex and intimacy differently. There is a need for engaging and innovative ways to promote sexual health awareness to everyone, not just young people. I look forward to learning and developing in this sector.

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