Wellness In-Sight: Define Who You Are

CINDY E. FARRAR

It is fascinating to me that there are specific moments in our lives so significant that they are considered to be able to define us. These “defining moments,” according to dictionary.com, are “a point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified.” I also find it curious that when speaking of these moments, often they are considered absolute in their definitiveness. The aspect of choice is rarely mentioned. Yet what potentiates these moments is our decision as to how we will allow ourselves to be defined, our essential nature revealed.

These occasions are frequently referenced as rare and isolated. Yet, how is it, in a natural lifespan of several decades, there is only one or perhaps a few of these definitive moments? When in the course of our daily activities, there are many incidences that are revelatory of our character. For instance, the manner in which we choose to engage with our family, friends, colleagues, and community can be a clear manifestation of who we are at our core.

There are also particular times that are truly momentous. They are so significant, they evoke decisions that are transformative and require meaningful change. The past two years, no doubt, have presented each of us with many such instances. How we choose to respond (or not) to these potentially life-altering moments is evidentiary of our true nature.

In my practice and teaching of Tai Chi Qi Gong, I have appreciated learning about Taoist philosophy. The word “Tao” means “way.” Loosely, it implies a way of living in harmony. One aspect of this relevant to our discussion is that there are eight virtues that we are to live according to and acquire on our way. I heard it shared that there was a time when the eight specific virtues were not shared. Meaning, we did not know what they were. The reasoning was if we knew which virtues they were, our human nature would have us focusing on living with the purpose solely to check them off the list, with the possibly of excluding other positive character traits. And once the eight were acquired, we would no longer or would be less likely to pursue them. Therefore, not knowing the specific virtues, we are more likely to strive to live a fully virtuous life. The benefit being yielding a high probability of acquiring the eight virtues along our way. While the eight virtues are now readily known, the intention of living virtuously remains. The intention put into practice becomes habit. The habit becomes our way of being. When realized, every moment then axiomatically becomes a defining moment. And each moment we manifest and become who we really are.

CINDY E. FARRAR, LMT, BCTMB, CLC is a licensed massage therapist, certified life coach and the owner of Massage Associates of Atlanta, LLC (Lavista Road in Tucker). In addition, she is a certified Qi Gong instructor and a nationally approved continuing education provider for massage therapy and bodywork. Cindy enjoys sharing insights on wellness and personal and community development as a speaker and writer.