Es Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch Eck

By:

C.

(Originally published in the October 23, 1985 issue of The Shopping News)

Brief Vom Professor

Brod Fresser der 20escht Moi 1985

115 Keenich Schtrooss

Effredaa, Penna.

Bruder Dick!

Do is en Brief fer dei Deitsch Eck, fer die Leit wisse losse wie es gange is an dei Vendu.

En Grosser Vendu

Es waar en Vendu der 16t Moi an Sandich Beach beim Charlie Behm. Dem Charlie geht’s net gut alleweil, so hot er sei Buwe grickt fer sei Bisniss ausschaffe. Der Charlie hot en nei Haus gebaut in Effredaa un er hot net genunk Blatz ghat fer all sei Sach, so hen sie Vendu gemacht.

Ei, yei, yei, es hot Katze un Hund gereyert, awwer sie hen en Zelt ghat. Ich un mei Fraa, die Dot, sin frieh gange. Es waar gezehlt aafange an vier Uhr, awwer mir sin baut en Schtund gange davor - yuscht fer rumgucke un sehne fer was mir en Luscht hen. Do waare die Buwe un annere Leit noch am Sache reddy mache.

Awwer die Woch eb die Vendu is ebbes schpassich ghaeppent, wu em Groyer T. Glenn Horst sei Fraa, die Claudette, uff em Schpeicher waar Sach rischde fer die Vendu. Em Glenn sei Fraa is en hattschaffiche Fraa, nau meind! Un wann sie an ebbes geht, fliegt der Schtaab un alles! Wu es Bischli-Gnippli (em Charlie Behm sei Bu) kumme is fer helfe rischde, hot er gude Hosse aa ghat. Er hot die gude Hosse ausgeduh un alde aageduh. Er hot sie uff em Schpeicher glosst bei em Charlie sei Gleeder. Un sell waar sei Fehler! En Weil schpeeder waar die Claudette datt am Schaffe. Glei hot sie es Schunppduch un’s Belt aus; not hot sie en Geltsack gfunne. Iwwerdem wees sie as ebbes letz is. Sie hot gwisst as sie nau in Druwwel is - sie hot ausgfunne as sie schier gaar em Bischli-Gnippli sei Hemm un Hosse verkaaft hot! Alli-ebber hot hatzhaffdich driwwer glacht, abbaddich die Claudette!

Bischli-Gnippli hot en Schmunsel ghat vun Ohr zu Ohr wu mir annekumme sin. Er hot uns hatzlich Willkumm gewwe. Mir waare die erschde un hen unser Schtiel in die erscht Roi geduh. No sin mir rumgloffe. Bei Golli, mei

Fraa hot en Luscht grickt fer schier alles kaafe. Sie hot als gsaat, “Ich kann net lewe unnich sell! En Schissel mit en Deckel druff, Teekessel, Glocke un so der gleich! Tom is die ganz Zeit unnich sei Maschien am rumrutsche. Er sett des Graddler hawwe. Em John sei Yaardmeher is ausgwohre. Ich sett daer do kaafe fer ihn. Dan will en Umgrautfresser. Oi, do is eener! Ich muss daer do kaafe. Tim will en Glocke. Well, mir kenne eeni finne do, sie hen yuscht baut 300. (Mir sin heem mit baut en 100!) Nau, ich wunner, hen sie Kucheschneider fer der Joel un die Elaine? Oi, do is en ganzer Karreb voll. Die do misse mir verhafdich kaafe. Die Memm grickt so Buckel-schmatze. Ich wunner, hen sie eens vun selle Schiddler mit en Hitzer nei gebaut? Bei Jorge, do is eener! Den muss ich kaafe. Die Edythe will neie Kisse fer ihre Leweschtubb Bank. Ei, do sin graad was sie will, scheeni, rodi Kisse. Nau hawwich alles gfunne as ich im mei Sinn ghadde hab.” ***

A Letter From Professor Bread Eater Brother Dick!

Here is a letter for your Dutch ECK, to let folks know what happened at your sale.

A Great Sale

There was a sale on May 16 at Sandy Beach at Charlie Beam’s. Charlie isn’t doing too well these days, so he got his sons to work out his business. Charlie built a new house in Ephrata but does not have enough place for all his things, so he made sale.

Oh, my, it rained cats and dogs, but they had a tent. Dot, my wife, and I arrived early. The sale began at 4 p.m., but we arrived an hour early - just to look about. The boys were preparing for the sale.

But the week before the sale, something funny happened as Claudette Horst, Glenn’s wife, was on the second floor getting things up there ready for the sale. Claudette is a trained nurse, so she knows how to work! When she goes to work, the dust flies. When Bischli-Gnippli had come to help prepare for the sale, he was wearing good trousers. He

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I will pickup took off the good pants and put on old ones. He placed them on the second floor next to his father’s clothes. And that was his error! Sometime later Claudette was up there readying things for the sale. She came upon these pants, took out the handkerchief and removed the belt. Then she found a wallet in a pocket. Soon she realized that something was wrong. Now she knew that she was in for it - she realized that she had almost sold Bischli-Gnippli’s shirt and trousers! Everyone laughed heartily about the matter, especially Claudette.

Upon our arrival the day of the sale, Bischli-Gnippli greeted us with a broad smile. He bid us welcome. We were the first to set up our chairs, so we put them in the first row. Then we walked about. By golly, my wife wanted to buy everything she saw. She kept repeating, “I can’t live without that! - A bowl with a matching lid, a tea kettle, bells and so on. - Tom is crawling around under his car all the time, he should have this crawler. - John’s lawn mower is worn out. I should buy this one for him. - Dan needs a weeder. Oh, here’s one! - Tim wants a bell. Well, we can find one here, there are only about 300 of them here. (We went home with about 100.) - Now, I wonder, do they have cookie cutters for Joel and Elaine? Oh, here’s a whole basket of them. We really must buy them! - Mom gets such backache. I wonder whether they have one of those vibrators with a heating element? By George, here is one! That we MUST buy.Edythe needs new pillows for the bench in her living room. Oh, look, these here are just what she needs - lovely, red pillows! Now I believe I’ve found everything that I had in mind.”

***

Before “Professor Brod Fresser,” alias Dave Hornberger, went home on the day of the sale, May 20, he agreed to write a report for the Eck on the day’s events at a place he called “Sandich Beach.” By the beginning of the following week, this letter was already in our hands.

This week we are printing part one of this long letter from “Professor Brod Fresser,” for like all professors, this one is a bit windy. As a result, we’ll let “Brod Fresser” wrap up his report next week.

Each reader has to decide for himself how much of the “Brod Fresser’s” report is factual, how much is imagined. We will vouch for the names, but beyond that we’re not so sure.

At any rate, we’re absolutely delighted with this letter, for it’s the first time we’ve had the pleasure of printing such a piece. But you’ll have to tune in next week as well to pick up the remainder of our windy wordmaster’s report.

Again, we want to encourage our readers to go and do likewise. We are sure that most of our readers have attended other sales and similar gatherings which could be described in the dialect in equally entertaining terms. Let us hear from YOU!

October 23, 1985

En Bischli­Gnippli as gern schmunselt

Sealed bids will be received in the Cocalico School District, Business Office 800 S. Fourth Street, PO Box 800 Denver, PA 17517 until March 15, 2023 at 1:00 P.M. for the following:

• District Supplies Bid

• District Janitorial Bid

• District Technology Bid

Bid specifications and forms can be obtained by visiting our website at: https://www.cocalico.org/district/business_ office/rfp_bid_information or from the Business Office.

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