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2 - Wednesday, December 15, 2021 - Say You Saw It In “The Shopping News”

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(he was in AA for years but kept falling off the wagon).

He told me he was a social drinker and was just taking a break from alcohol for health and fitness reasons.

He would go dark and fall out of communication and then deflect onto me when I would ask him why.

So finally, after a week of him being particularly inconsiderate and insensitive, I broke off our relationship.

I did so with honor and said goodbye to his friends and family and spoke not one unkind word about him to anybody.

Now he wants to go in for couples counseling, even though when I was with him, he refused to listen to me about even the simplest thing, like deleting his dating apps.

I don’t know why he wants to go to counseling now that he has completely repelled me.

I don’t even know how I feel about this anymore.

A part of me really loves him still, but a part of me doesn’t trust the relationship (or our “situationship”), since he kept a whole separate list of rules for himself than he did for me.

I’d really like your take on this. — Curious

Dear Curious: I agree with you that deleting needs to happen. You need to do the deleting and what you need to lose — is him.

Based on what you say about this person, you obviously don’t like, trust or respect him.

You were feeling good about how you ended things, but if you allow him to draw you back in, you won’t even have that.

Counseling is a great idea, especially for him. If he wants to enter therapy in order to figure out how and why he sabotaged the relationship with you, then let him do so and perhaps at some point in the future, he will be inspired to try to prove to you that he has changed. I hope that by that point, you will have moved on.

Dear Amy: Unfortunately, I became estranged from my family after my mother’s death. him.

When the pandemic began, I texted him to check in and make sure he was OK and received nothing back.

I honestly worry about something happening to him before we can at least talk.

It would destroy me if anything happened to him.

I definitely enjoy my life better when they aren’t around, and yet I worry and miss them.

I know my brother and sister-in-law still hate me (no surprise there), yet I’m honestly so confused and hurt as to why my father hasn’t even tried to contact me in any way.

Should I try again? — Estranged Daughter

Dear Daughter: Sending one text at the beginning of a global pandemic does not qualify as making an effort to heal a breech that you seem to have initiated.

Losing your mother at a relatively young age must have been truly devastating to you. Surely it was deeply upsetting to witness your father engaging in a new relationship with someone you claim your mother disliked.

However, this is your burden to bear. Your father has the right to find a new partner. It is not your brother or his wife’s fault or responsibility that your father took up with this woman.

If you want to talk to your father, call him. If he doesn’t pick up, leave a warmly worded message and ask him to call you back. If he doesn’t call you back, call a second time.

State your desire to be in touch, and leave the door open to a reconciliation.

Dear Amy: I am a regular reader and wonder if you have ever — even once — admitted that you were wrong about anything?

When people criticize you, you only double down and defend your position. — Sick and Tired

Dear Sick: I do admit when I’m wrong, and I am happy to let readers correct me.

However, I won’t claim an error just because someone disagrees with me.

College news

HONORS n Four scholarships were awarded by the Lancaster Society of Human Resource Management in June. The society awards over $5,000 annually in scholarships that support the organization’s mission of inspiring people and advancing workplaces by collaborating with Lancaster schools, students and businesses. The Student Scholarship was awarded to Amanda McFerren, who is pursuing a Bachelor of Science in nursing degree at Drexel University. She is the daughter of E. Joy McFerren, who has been a society member for 40 years. Karen Snyder was awarded the Member Scholarship. This award provides financial assistance to members who are engaged in continuous education to enhance their profession. Snyder is global vice president of talent management at Ultra Electronics and is working on earning executive coaching credentials. Karen has been an active society member for about 10 years and has served on numerous committees. John Shoff, human resources benefits adviser at Members First, is the recipient of the Leadership Lancaster scholarship, which is awarded to a member to participate in Leadership Lancaster’s Core Program. Shoff volunteers extensively through Lancaster County and has been a member of the society since 2019. This is the inaugural year for the Debbie Stremmel Memorial Scholarship. The society, in partnership with Steinman Communications and LNP Media Group, created this scholarship to recognize Stremmel, who was a society member and LNP media employee. Stremmel passed away in 2020 and this scholarship celebrates her contributions and passion in supporting trade and technical education. A $1,500 scholarship goes to Javon Long, who graduated from McCaskey High School and is pursuing an associate degree in computer science engineering at Thaddeus Stevens College of Technology. The student’s home school district also receives a $1,000 scholarship for career exploration and/or new technology or innovation in the trade or technical fields. The School District

Lancaster County Court of Common Pleas granted the following divorces the week of Aug. 16: n Amber Grazioli and Michael Hines. They were married in June 2016. n Betsy J. Sauder and Joseph S. Sauder. They were married Feb. 6, 2016. n Sarah Pabon-Ayala and Jonathan Pabon-Ayala. They were married Sept. 3, 2014. n Cheyenne Evans and Cody David McFall. They were married Feb. 3, 2020. of Lancaster will use the scholarship money for a 3D printer. n Nissin Foods awarded $10,000 in scholarships to Los Angeles County and Lancaster County high school students as part of its inaugural Good Neighbor Scholarship, recognizing the recipients for their academic success and commitment to making a positive change in their local community. Ten students from the communities surrounding Nissin’s facilities in Gardena, California, and Lancaster received scholarships to use toward their enrollment in two- or fouryear universities and trade schools. Area recipients of Good Neighbor Scholarship are listed with their hometowns and the college of their choice. Bowmansville — Angellia Brenneman, University of Delaware. Denver — Melody Pha University. Elizabethtown — Pennsylvania State University – University Park. Lancaster — Grace Hershey University; Ariana Marshall University Honors College. Manheim — Eve Sheaffer, Franklin & Marshall College. Strasburg — Jeslyn Krebs University. Each of the scholarship recipients also received a Nissin Foods prize pack complete with a branded backpack, t-shirts, and an assortment of Cup Noodles and Top Ramen products. To learn more about this year’s Good Neighbor Scholarship recipients and next year’s submission process, visit NissinFoods.com. GRADUATIONS n Area students were among those who graduated this spring from University, Athens, Ohio. of Gap, received a Master of Science in electrical engineering. Timothy Mayza of Denver, received a Master of Sports Administration. n Area students were among those who graduated in May from Dickinson College They are listed with their hometowns, degrees and honors. Lancaster — Esch, Bachelor of Science in biology, magna cum laude; Tayler Eynon of Arts in history, cum laude, dean’s list; Victoria Willis, Bachelor of Arts in English, cum laude. Reinholds — Olivia Voler

n Kimberly A. Lambert and Blake C. Lambert. They were married Oct. 25, 2014. n Shelly L. Lorah and Earl R. Lorah Jr. They were married May 17, 2003. n Bruce Bolich and Mary Bolich. They were married Oct. 20, 1988. n Jesmarie Cruz-Rivera and Francis Cruz-Rivera. They were married Feb. 14, 2018. n Gloria A. Fry and Timothy G. Fry. They were married June 16, 2013. n Darrin E. Rhodes and Naomi O. Rhodes. They were married July 25, 2016.

Divorces n Alex Rodriguez Rodriguez. June 18, 2017. n Crystal L. Andrews

Zebedee O. Andrews

were married Oct. 21, 2013. n Lynn M. Greider

K. Bixler

Dec. 7, 2017. n Tina S. Urban

Urban

20, 1998. n Samuel W. Wilson

Barbara J. Wilson

married March 24, 1979. n Mohan Pradhan

Shrestha.

Sept. 8, 2015.

in an Unjust World’) and Sharon Salzberg (“Lovingkindness”) will discuss the concept of “radical friendship” at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 5. — LGBTQ+ author TJ Klune (“The House in the Cerulean Sea”) discusses his new book “Under the Whispering Door” with yoga teacher and author, Kathryn Budi (“Aim True”) at 7 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 6. — Author Keisha N. Blain (“Set

Africa, Africans, and the Making TJ Klune of the Modern World, 1471 to the Second World War,” at 5 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 10. In addition to the author ev the outdoor Midtown Scholar tent sale returns after a year’s hiatus, running from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 6-9. There will be more than 10,000 books for sale, with prices starting at $1. Details about the festival can be Kathryn Budi found online at hbgbookfest.com. n Contact Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com. You can also follow her on Twitter at @askingamy or like her on Facebook. Write to “Ask Amy” at P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.

Consider These Last-Minute Holiday Shopping Tips

Some people thrive by doing all of their tasks early. Others seem to do their best work when faced with a time crunch. The methods individuals use to manage their time at work and play may extend to the ways they approach holiday shopping as well.

There’s no right or wrong way to handle holiday shopping tasks, though Christmas Eve crowds at malls and throughout shopping districts suggest that there’s more late comers than there are early birds. The following tips can help those who typically wait until the last minute to check names off their lists. • Utilize free shipping services. Shoppers who shop for gifts online at the last minute run the risk of gifts not arriving on time. Many online retailers charge a premium for expedited shipping. Try to stick to shopping at online retailers that offer free shipping even in the eleventh hour. • Create a budget. When rushing around from store to store, it may be easy to spend more than you want to. Make a list of how much

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you want to spend on each person, and stick to that limit for each person. Move on to the next store if you didn’t fi nd what you need in your price range.

• Establish a time limit. Stores have strategies in place to keep shoppers in their establishments longer, hoping you’ll make impulse buys. These tricks include scenting the air with inviting aromas, putting necessities at the rear of the store, failing to display the time, and putting discounted items by the registers or door to attract shoppers. Set

CryptoQuiz an alarm on your watch or phone for each store so you get what you need and get

Each of the following cryptograms is a clue to out on time. the identity of a popular holiday character. Using the hints R=S and U=E, decipher the clues and • Subdivide bulk gifts. name the character. Think about purchasing bulk gifts like gift baskets from 1 B U N R A O F _____________ wholesale clubs and then breaking them down into individual gifts. This way 2 E T T F R ________ you can gift several people on one purchase and save time in the process. 3 J G O F U E U K B N • Choose one-size-fi ts___________________ all gifts. Think about a gift that can be purchased for 4 B T R P X G U U Q R multiple people so you ___________________ can save time shopping for individualized gifts for 5 E U V V P M O Q U S U V V P everyone. For example, ____________________________ print a personalized photo calendar for several members of your family.

This character has been played by numerous You also can purchase actors, including Edmund Gwenn and Tim Allen. _______________________________________ multiple subscriptions or memberships to zoos or magazines for people on Cheeks, 5) Belly Like Jelly, Santa Claus your list. Streamlining

Answers: 1) Red Suit, 2) Boots, 3) White Beard, 4) Rosy gifting in this way may save money as well as time. • Choose in-store pickup. Rather than scouring various aisles, you can shop a retailer’s website and then pick up items in the store. You’ll save on potential shipping fees but still benefi t by avoiding crowds. Some people wait until the last minute to do their holiday shopping. A few tricks of the procrastinator’s trade can make last-minute shopping go smoothly.

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