Photo By: Del Francisco
in this [issue] [6] Meet the Staff [9] From the Editor [54] Meet Our Cover Girl [144] Meet Our Contributors
Attitude [10] 15 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem [14] 5 Reasons to be Your Own Best Friend
[24] 13 Ways to be Bold
[52] Meet Your Inner Badass
[28] Make Real Friends
Beauty & Style
[30] Fix Your Flaws [33] Perspective 2014 [35] Find the Happy [38] Find New Inspiration [40] 30 Things to Do For Yourself
[17] How to Kick Fear in the Face
[46] Start Fresh
[19] The Only 4 Resolutions You Need This Year
[48] New Rule: The Past is Off Limits
[22] Break-Up With Doubt
[50] Coming Up From Rock Bottom
[58] 20 Beauty Products under $5 [60] Rebellious Looks to Wow [62] Hide Your Flaws [64] SocietyGrl - Life After the Reveal
Health, Diet & Fitness [66] 5 Quick & Healthy Recipes [69] 6 Delicious Smoothie Recipes THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Photo By: Stephen Albanese
[72] 10 Steps to Conquering the Gym [74] The Perfect 7 Day Juice Fast [76] Hit the Pavement [78] Attack Your Fitness Like a Business Plan [80] Build At-Home Workouts [82] Krav Maga [83] No Headaches in 2014 [86] Braised Short Ribs Recipe
Love & Sex [88] How to Make Him Fall in Love Again [92] Why the Polyamourous Are Happier Than You
[105] Signs Your Relationship May Be Hurting
Life&Fun
[107] Craving to Be Dominated
[132] Confessional
[110] 8 Things Not to Do on a Date
[134] Mystery Girl
[112] How to Show Him You’re a Badass Everyday
[136] 20 Indie Songs to Shake Your Ass to in 2014
[115] Finding Time for Sex When You Have Kids
[138] 10 Badass Décor Ideas
[117] The One Secret to Keeping Him Interested [119] 5 Things to Do to Make Your Relationship Better [121] Start a Flirtationship
Business Chick [122] Make Money Blogging
[94]
[124] Doing It for Yourself
[96] Your Ex is So Last Year
[126] Snowed In
[98] Poll: Is it Cheating?
[128] Your Social Media You
[99] He Left Because You’re Awful
[129] Read These Now
[102] 10 Ways to Hit On a Guy
[130] Do This and Get Promoted
[4] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
[140] Build a Dream Board [141] Quiz: Which Indie Chick are You? [142] Horoscopes
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Meet the [Staff] Chiara Mazzucco [CEO, Editor-in-Chief] Author of The 9 Mirages of Love: How to Stop Chasing What Doesn’t Exist, Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The 90’s alternative, or playing with her mischievous 2 year old son, Luca Jae. She dreams in shades of gray, has a terrible sweet tooth, and has embraced the fact that half of what she says during social interactions results in awkward silence. Her friends know her best for her intolerable addiction to all things 90’s and her inability to watch people throw their lives away for anything our readers that they deserve it all.
Julie Zantopoulos [COO, Senior Editor] Julie is your classic Type A, detail oriented, list-making perfectionist who just happens to also be been a writer. She found a home in blogging and fell in love with sharing her writing and honing in on her writing skills for the novel she’s been working on. When not writing or working with over 100 guest contributors to perfect our content on The Indie Chicks, Julie loves to watch bad SyFy movies, listen to music, or do something crafty. She’s a proud aunt, honorary aunt, and godmother, so spending time with kids and her huge extended family, or friends, is something she will always make time for. Her journey to where she is today hasn’t always been easy but
Renee Claybion [Assistant Editor, Creative Director] Fun loving and quick witted, Renee started her blogging journey with the inception of The Indie Chicks. Her knack for telling it like it is and looking at life with a bit of humor gives her a unique voice and perspective on The Indie Chicks team. When she’s not working on The Indie the fullest, is always planning her next adventure and loves to indulge in her mother’s home cooked meals. Her friends know her best for her love of travel, passion for exotic animals and her constant desire to push people to follow their dreams. She believes life is an adventure and stops at nothing to show readers adventure is just around the corner, if you know where to look.
Chrystal Rose [CMO] Chrystal was a writer from the moment she was able to pick up a pen to put her imagination on paper, and much later she was working as a Jack Daniels girl when she fell in love with marketing. Deciding that college was a “better late than never” thing, she pursued a major in marketing with a minor in creative writing-- having no clue that she would some day own her Talk about full circle! When she isn’t brows deep in either of her businesses she’s traveling to exciting locations, cooking delicious food, creating art installations, working out, leading a troop of Girl Scouts, hanging with her boyfriend, snuggling with her puppy and reading books on business and achieving success. She literally never stops, hardly ever sleeps and will do anything to help someone in need, no matter what the capacity. As cliche as it is, Chrystal believes with every cell in her body that you can do anything you put your mind to and create happiness for yourself. She’s dedicated to helping women and is extremely humbled to serve as
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Sponsors+ Diane Pauley
http://postgradolescence.com coming entrepreneurs & creative types take control of their time & money situations so that they can focus on designing their dream
Chiara Mazzucco chiara@theindiechicks.com @iChiaraSays
plans.
Kelli Nelson
http://kellihood.com
Award-winning, candidly written blog entertaining readers with posts relating to motherhood, relationships, and feminism.
Julie Zantopoulos jewels@theindiechicks.com @According2Jewls
Quincy S. - Thank, Q http://www.ThankQ.me
Renee Claybion renee@theindiechicks.com @renegade_renee_
the United States... one blog post at a time. What makes my blog stand out is that I speak from experience and I call it like I see it.
Tyece Wilkins - Twenties Unscripted
Chrystal Rose chrystal@theindiechicks.com @Xtal_Rose
http://www.twentiesunscripted.com
A sincere, sassy and sometimes smart-assy take on growing up.
Vyvy- Vyvacious http://vyvacious.com will be sure to tickle your fancy while giving you multiple mouthgasms, all at the same time.
Photographer Info: Del Francisco - d3ldigimedia@gmail.com - http://www.gdrphotography.com - http://tailstar.com - http://macleoddesignsandphotography.com - http://vicentetabora.com - http://cushimages.com - http://spectacularis.com
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Special Thank You Nola’s LA, Aubryanna DiStefano, Angie Miller, Del Francisco, X Nightclub in Charlotte, NC, Jodi Hanes,
happen.
Indie Chick is published by The Indie Chicks, Inc. Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved. Reproduction in any form without written consent from the publisher is strictly prohibited. Annual subscriptions available on TheIndieChicks.com. general@theindiechicks.com
2014
From the [Editor]
is going to be the most badass year yet I bet you don’t know this, but The Indie Chicks website was created out of a sort of necessity. We were young women craving inspiration, motivation, and the kind of self-empowerment that you can’t get in large doses through main stream media. We took a step back and looked at the lives we were living and dissected them down to the ugliest of molecules. What were we missing? We were missing our inner badass. I am happy to deliver you something we have been working really, really hard on: putting our message into print. within you, because no matter what you do or who you are, you too have one living inside you. It’s our job to bring her out to play this year and we the best writers on the web. So please, take advantage of every page, dog ear what hits home most, and don’t hesitate to share it with a few friends. As you know, we continue to dish out empowering badassery on the website cradle to sleep? We’re just as excited as you are. And on a personal note, to everyone who has been with us on this journey, words will never be enough to express our gratitude. For those who believe in us, who support us, and who have donated their time and talent to make us together when we need it most.
little badass!
[ > Btw
Editor-in-Chief
That’s me. Taken by the amazing Stephen Albanese, tailstar.com
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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ÂŤ Attitude
15 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR
SELF-ESTEEM
by: Julie Zantopoulos
With a brand new year comes the opportunity to be a brand new, best version of you.
[10] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Each day can be treated like a new start but there is something amazingly cathartic about starting off a new year a brand new, invigorated, and bolder version of you. Don’t you want that for yourself? To be the boldest, brightest, most kick ass person possible? The fastest way to be that woman is to have more selfsexy as hell, it’s also essential for every woman to have in spades.
H
version of yourself though? How can you bolster, strengthen, and bring to the forefront all the awesome that is already inside you and, better yet, how do you bring forth parts of yourself you never even knew existed? If you’re still are 15 ways to boost that self-esteem and start strutting.
•Take Care of Yourself• Little in this world will make you feel self-esteem than knowing you’re looking and feeling your best. Of course the New Year is the time when everyone jumps on about just hitting the gym with more regularity, we’re talking about taking care of yourself in all aspects of your life. This means working out, eating right, getting enough sleep, and pampering yourself now and again. It also means that it is all right to put taking care of yourself at the top of your To Do List without feeling guilty. When you take care of yourself you are a better, happier, healthier version of you and then (and only then) can you be the best mother, wife, girlfriend, employee, sister, and friend possible. Taking an hour in the
evening for the Zumba class that keeps you massage, facial, or expensive organic lunch is not something you have to explain away budget wise, it’s all right to treat and take care of yourself.
•Browse Facebook• It may not be the most positive way to boost your self-esteem, but who are we kidding? When you see how far you’ve come compared to your high school bully, heart breaking ex, or evil boss, you do feel better about yourself. Sure, self-esteem comes from within but it’s a fact of life that you walk a little taller knowing you’ve made something fantastic of yourself and your life in the face of all the crap they put you through. We’re not saying to take perverse pleasure in their downfall and misfortune, only to take that time to appreciate just how far you have come, how much further you will go, and pat yourself on the back a bit. After all, you’re taking care of yourself and making your dreams come true!
You gotta admit, seeing your high school nemesis blown up like a balloon and bitching about her government check being delayed has a certain amount of karmic justice.
•Take up a Hobby• There is a self-esteem boost that comes with being good at something and in being a unique and diverse woman. When dive into it, you feel good about your accomplishments. It might be coding websites, graphic design, skateboarding, scrap booking, sketching, photography, something that interests you and invest some time in it. Have fun with something that piques your curiosity and make a how many people you meet within the community of your new hobby and having new, like-minded friends always boosts self-esteem, as well. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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•Makeover• strut that comes straight after we’ve had a hair cut, dye job, mani/pedi, facial, or are sporting brand new clothes and shoes. It’s a self-esteem booster that never fails. Sure, it’s all external but when we feel we look our best then we’ll carry ourselves speak up for ourselves a bit quicker, and smile a whole lot more. Self-esteem comes in many forms and from many sources, both internal and external, so don’t worry about it seeming shallow to have more
•Take Time For Yourself• We’ve said it before and we will say it again:
•Finish Your To Do List• We all have To Do Lists; whether you take the time to write them out on a notebook, have a note in your phone, or an ongoing list in your brain. There is a high that comes the items on that List. Make it a goal to complete your To Do list every day. It’s a lofty one, we know, but when you can go a day, then a week, then a month with all your daily goals met, you will feel like you are on top of the world, you unstoppable super woman!
fun. So what if you’re married? Wouldn’t
limits of comfort as well.
said it! You don’t have to be a lesbian to enjoy complimenting and making eyes at a pretty woman. It feels sexy, bold, and a little forbidden and you can walk away feeling like a million bucks for having the
•Do Something That Scares You• Yup, it is scary - hell, it’s terrifying - but this year. The thrill of doing something that you never thought you’d be able to do of looking your fear in the face and doing something anyway is worth the discomfort. We’ve been telling you from day one that we will continue to do so until you trust us enough to burst through what feels ‘safe’ and start taking some risks.
•Get Flirty•
[12] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Taking time for yourself is necessary, sexy,
muscles and prove you still ‘got it’? Start There is no one you should be investing as much time on as you invest in yourself. You matter, hugely, to a lot of people but you should matter the most to you. You can’t expect anyone else to respect you, your time, and your value if you don’t give it to yourself as well. Dedicate at least an hour a day (minimum) to just you. This can be a 10-minute shower, a 30-minute lunch break reading a book, 10 minutes journaling and another 10 stalking people on Facebook. Just make it something that rejuvenates you.
•Treat Yourself•
•Hang with Friends•
We all have a budget we have to battle with - it’s a drag but it’s reality. The majority of us don’t have unlimited funds to spend however we want, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t make an exception and treat yourself now and then. Start a change jar and use that as your “treat” money or set aside a couple dollars each week bag or Urban Decay palette you’ve been eyeing. You deserve a treat and while I’m not suggesting you be frivolous with your
Friendships are one of the greatest blessings in any well-rounded woman’s life. A great friend can give you a reality slap, a shoulder, an ear, a hand, and any other body part you require. A close friend cheers you up when you’re down, grounds you when you’ve gotten ahead of yourself, and cheers for you as you follow your dreams. Friendships, like any other relationship, require nurturing but don’t spend time with your friends because you have to, hang out with them because you
ways to treat yourself. A little retail therapy goes a long way, even if it’s just a dollar store trip, or for me, Staples!
wine and gossip, or running errands while you catch up, take the time to hang with your friends.
•Have Amazing Sex• For an instant self-esteem boost, engage in some fantastic sex. Endorphins are just a super sexy about going on with the rest of your day, knowing that you and your man caught a session that burned the bed, wall, or sofa. That sexy high will last as long as you let it and will certainly keep that smile on your face. Well, honey, that doesn’t mean you can’t still ride that high. Take care of business and let the glow begin.
it’s as obscure as the mating habits of the giant squid, and become as informed as humanly possible. Read, research, and join Google+ communities about it.
•Become a Mentor•
Of course these aren’t the only 15 ways to boost your self-esteem, but it’s a damn good start! It’s up to you to use these suggestions to make 2014 the best year ever. Embrace your awesome, own it, and proudly wear the badass badge.
Want to feel great about yourself? Well
task. Not only are you helping others (win!) but you’re also immediately placed in a role of expertise and that does wonders for self-esteem.
Want an additional 5 self-esteem boosters focused on reinvention?
•Affirmations•
Read: 5 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem on our website!
Sure it sounds cheesy, but if they are used worldwide, that means they work. A sure way to boost your self-esteem is to remind yourself daily of your strengths, your worth, and your legacy. Whether it’s repeating every morning in your head while you brush your teeth that you are kind, you are brave, you are driven, or that you are changing lives - heck, even if it’s just reading a daily motivational quote, do it!
•Half-Naked Dance Parties• There is nothing that will bolster your selfesteem like getting in touch with your halfnaked, sexy self. Sure, we all have body issues, but when you put on your good bra and panties and pump up the tunes and dance around your room like a fool you cannot help but love yourself. Not only are half-naked dance parties a ton of fun, but they help you get in touch with yourself, your body, and your hottest dance moves. Get sexy all for yourself, or hell, mix it with a pamper night and dance half-naked with a facial mask on!
•Become an Expert• What says self-esteem like holding court at a party or with a co-worker on a topic that you are an absolute expert at? Sure it’s great to know a little bit about everything so you can always speak intelligently, but
©iStock.com/arekmalang
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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H
aving a best friend, or multiple best friends, is one the best gifts a woman can give herself. Friendship is laughter, support, enlightenment, and in many ways, the boost we need to get through the hard parts of life. Without it, we’d be wandering through life with the weight of loneliness and we’d constantly feel misunderstood by the world around us. Friendship with others is extremely important and vital to your well-being. You grow as an individual based on your reactions to relationships with other people. You have a built in support system that knows you, gets you, and unapologetically accepts you. Friendship is the warmth in your heart when times get rough and you hear, “Don’t worry. Unfortunately, friendship is never guaranteed. Similar to romance, hearts break, mistakes are made, and people inevitably grow apart, but that doesn’t mean you should miss out on all the beauty that such friendships introduce into your life. This year, be your own best friend, and not because you think you’re lame and that others won’t like you. Do it because you deserve a life long friendship that is guaranteed to stick with you from the moment you go to sleep tonight until the end of your time.
©iStock.com/ ariwasabi
5 Reasons
to Be Your Own Best Friend by: Chiara Mazzucco
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You get your sense of humor Laughter is the best medicine to any life ailment. It’s enough to break the ice, ease tension on an otherwise dreary situation, and introduce to you the concept of enjoying life - a concept that is often lost within routine, chaos, and the general crap life throws our way. endless but that doesn’t mean being able to fact, having a sense of humor with yourself is a pretty smart move - you know, in case you trip in public or spill water all over your seethrough blouse. What you need to do is get in touch with your inner giggles and learn to loosen up in moments of stress, shame, or absolute failure. You could be able to bring yourself the same joy your best friends bring if you were to face-plant during a grand entrance. Laughter makes everything okay.
HOW TO DO IT: comedies and when your favorite parts come up, don’t hold back any laughter. Another thing you can do is blast music while you clean and do chores around the house, when no one is around, so you are free to dance and get as silly as possible without anyone there to judge. Try to remember how good it feels to let loose and laugh, and put that feeling in your back pocket for a rainy day.
You let yourself be Accepting whatever mood you’re in can be one of the best things you can do for yourself. Have you ever had a crappy morning and shown up to work to tell your coworkers about it, only to hear them rant about how others have it worse than you and to stop being a sourpuss about your Sometimes we just need to be left in peace, whether that means you write it out in your diary, sleep in for 2 days, or have a joke fest about overdosing on over-the-counter meds. What better person to understand your needs and respect your moods than you? Acceptance is as important with yourself as it is in any other friendship.
HOW TO DO IT: Next time something huge happens in your life, walk away and plan a day to yourself. Remain in silence and accept whatever emotions you’re experiencing. Don’t force roles to any other people. Allow yourself to just...be.
You can stimulate your mind You may have those friends you enjoy going out dancing with; maybe there’s only a few
that appreciate your love of modern art; and there are probably less that will show up at your door whenever you need them, even in the middle of the night.
being completely honest, without having to worry about what anyone else says?
HOW TO DO IT:
There is something to be said, however, about the friends who are able to stimulate your mind and get you to engage in intellectual discussions. In line with the idea that everything in life is about selfdevelopment, education shouldn’t just stop once you’ve gotten your college degree. To engage in intelligent discussions and acquire new skills is something we should make part of our lives until the day we die.
Start a new journal and write everything down, no matter what. No matter how dirty, embarrassing, or shameful the emotion, write it down. Literally emotionvomit all over your diary like an angry little teenager. Here’s the kicker: you have to end every entry with some form of acceptance.
Imagine not having to rely on someone else to stimulate your mind?
When you are asking someone to forgive you, the ball falls in their court. You never know how much they’ve forgiven or how honest they’re being about their forgiveness altogether.
HOW TO DO IT: Make time for self education. Not because you’re taking a class, have a test, or need to prepare for some weird debate. Teach yourself something, stimulate your mind, and keep yourself entertained. Learn about current events, grab a book or three, or download some type of new program onto your computer. Don’t you dare say you’re busy, either! This is something you need to make time for.
You can be honest with yourself Fear of judgement surrounds us on a daily basis, even with the closest of friends. You to tweak the truth a lot more frequently than we’d like to admit, even in the most innocent of ways. Due to that fear of judgement, it’s a lot easier to live in denial than it is to face our inner demons. Our friends don’t know the whole truth so we’re able to move forward, unnoticed, without shaking too much shit up in our lives. Unfortunately, we need that brutal honesty in order to grow as individuals and if we’re worried about how others see us or might judge it, it will inevitably stunt that growth. Could you imagine the weightlessness of
You can forgive yourself
The problem is, asking for forgiveness means you’ve admitted to having done something wrong, and that takes a lot out of an individual and drowns you in vulnerability. Most of the time, we need the forgiveness of others in order to forgive ourselves. We all screw up and we all deserve a second chance. Forgiveness starts within yourself.
HOW TO DO IT: to be the one secret to keeping you happy. When you make a mistake of some sort, you need to allow yourself to hit rock bottom and avoid any sense of denial. You’ll likely cry, drown yourself in guilt, and maybe curse at small children. When you’re done, I want you to walk to a mirror and sit there for as long as you can. Does any of this mean stop being friends with everyone else and plan to be alone the rest of your life? Absolutely not. None of this devalues your friendships with other people, it simply means you need to invest the same amount of time you do in those friendships, into the relationship you have with yourself.
“Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world” -Eleanor Roosevelt THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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[16] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
K C I K O T HOW
R A E F E C A F E H T IN
by: Chrystal Rose We’re all scared of something in life and that is nothing to be ashamed of. But how much, exactly, is fear holding you back? When is the last time you stood up to fear, and when you face it again this year, how are you planning to deal with it?
A
s I walked over to the car I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. “I don’t want to do this.” I kept repeating in my head.
girl where our guy would start. Great idea--if your girlfriend is Dale Earnhardt’s niece or something.
about to unload Niagara Falls, he quickly told me, “You don’t have to do this babe!” Let me back things up a bit. Since I pretty much live in NASCAR, USA, it’s inevitable what people in racing like to do in their the 40 or so weekends they spend at the track? Race. Yeah, my friends have a go-cart league. It sounds totally stupid but they’re
show the action from the track and conduct interviews. A few months ago they had this brilliant idea to have their girlfriends (or
go full throttle. Which would have been an awesome plan if it had been a drag race--not an outdoor cart race with 11 tight turns. Immediately after I got going I decided I hated go-carting and didn’t the sharpest turn
too fast, sailed
reason and slammed into and under the Luckily, I was wearing a neck brace and
mount. Fucking traumatized. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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has very little to do with you. He could have a wife or a girlfriend. He could have made a vow to never go on dates with girls he meets at Starbucks. Or it could have something to do with you and that hair attractive. Oh well! It’s really no skin The odds of you getting eaten by a shark, especially with a company that frequently takes groups out is so far beyond unlikely it’s ridiculous. Car accidents are 100 times more likely and you aren’t afraid of cars right? Listen to the instructors, stay with the group and block all those Jaws movies out of your mind. For me, I’d already crashed in probably the worst way possible, so physical injurywise I wasn’t all that afraid anymore. I just didn’t want to be terrible. I had to consider the fact that these are my friends and they could care less if I’m not the world’s greatest go-carter and the other people there that I didn’t know—well they don’t matter at all.
{When Fear Says Hi} Sure there are things that you’re simply afraid of. Heights, spiders, and revolving doors…these you can avoid at all costs if you want, for the mere fact that they just scare the shit out of you. It’s rare that fear will pop up unannounced, whether it is something you know scares you or not. Maybe you’re afraid to start a business that could potentially fail. Maybe you’re scared that guy you bump into at Starbucks every Thursday will reject you. Maybe you want
pretty fucking scary but I was more afraid of embarrassing myself than anything else, which would happen if I crashed again.
gave me, listened to his coaching of where to break, turn and accelerate and went out there and got two more practice runs in
{Examine Your Opponent}
into tears).
Now that you’re staring at your list, take a look at each point. Yes, starting a business and possibly getting into debt will suck. That guy telling you no when you ask him out will certainly dent your ego. Getting eaten by a shark would really ruin your vacation. These are all pretty solid reasons to be afraid.
Starting a business doesn’t mean you need
Now that you’ve acknowledged your fear, write down all the horrible things that could happen if you were to face it. What about it causes that feeling to well up in the pit of your stomach? In regards to the go-cart, I was essentially afraid of sucking. If there’s something I’m not good at, I’ll teach myself without any witnesses until I’m pretty good. Then I’ll let the world see. Obviously, crashing is
[18] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Let’s say you start that business, work hard and achieve the kind of success you only dreamed about when you had your 9-5. What if you ask that guy out and he turns out to be your future husband? What if scuba diving becomes a new passion of yours and you end up traveling to exotic locales to pursue it?
frightened of the ocean.
{Break it Down}
{Now Aim for the Face}
day job. Sure businesses fail all the time, but you aren’t just going to wake up tomorrow, take on a random investor, do everything wrong and then be up to your eyeballs. You’re going to consider your options, educate yourself, make a plan, stick to the plan and work you still fail? Yeah, that sucks, but you’ve gained a ton of experience and know what to change for next time. Asking that guy out doesn’t have to be scary. So what if he says no? It probably
What if you get your ass back in that gocart, complete the race, hug your boyfriend who’s beaming with pride and feel so accomplished just because you kicked fear in the face? If you don’t take the risk, if you don’t You stunt your personal growth and limit your future happiness. Attacking your fears will also make you feel more alive and like you can truly accomplish anything. That’s the kind of unstoppable attitude every Indie Chick should strive for.
Only
The 4 Resolutions You Need This Year V
by: Julie Zantopoulos
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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happy you. When you are happy, you are a better girlfriend, wife, sister, lover, mother, friend and person. Make time for yourself and your passions. Share your goals with friends and family. the good and leave the bad in your wake. No matter what positive and happy means for you, nurture it.
2. PURGE THE [TOXIC]
©iStock.com/ hannamonika
Every year people make resolutions they never keep, even if they’re made with the best of intentions. And every single year, most people abandon those resolutions just as quickly as they make them. The same old promises of “getting in better shape” or “leaving your ex in the past” all abound but rarely do we stay with our resolutions. Why? Because nothing that starts out as a New Year craze of winter cleaning lasts. Only those decisions made to better your life with commitment and understanding, can be sustained. This year I’m challenging you to make 4 resolutions and stick to them. They’re the only 4 resolutions you’ll ever need to make if you follow through.
[20] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
1. ENCOURAGE THE [POSITIVE] Foster that which makes you better, stronger, and happier. That means taking care of yourself: mind, body and spirit. There are a lot of factors in the ‘happy equation’ and each person has a combination of things that every month and following your favorite band around the country while you blog your travels. remodeling your bathroom, watching your children blossom, doing yoga when they’re at the time to enjoy a mani/pedi. Encouraging the positive in your life will only draw more positive attention and energy it craves it will slowly but surely stop seeking you and make way for more good. Drop the guilt and acknowledge that taking time for yourself is
Once you start to embrace the positives in your life it becomes very clear what does not serve to fuel and further you. Once you know what’s not in your best interest you can purge it from your life. That’s not to say you can escape your crap boss, your bills, or your pain in the ass mother-in-law but you can start to make some changes. Do you really need to ask this question? If you want to encourage the positive then you need to clear out the negative in order to make room for the abundance of positive that will
There are some negatives that you just can’t avoid but you can distance yourself from. Get rid of toxic relationships with food, substances and people. If you can’t get rid of toxic friends and family then give yourself permission to build some walls and create some distance. Don’t allow emotional vampires to suck the happy from you that you worked so hard for. A part of staying happy is avoiding what seeks to pull you down and never builds you up. when habits and people no longer serve you well.
3. ATTACK YOUR [GOALS] I know you have them. You’re a total badass and you’re going places. Take a little time to map out where you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years and then set to making a dream board and post them somewhere super visible. Once you know what your goals are you should set after them like a pitbull with a bone. Do. Not. Give. Up. I shouldn’t have to explain this one to you, but I will. If you aren’t working towards your goals then what exactly are you doing with yourself? If you aren’t moving forward, upward, then you’re stagnant and you weren’t meant for stasis. Your dreams are worthy of your time and attention. The absolute only way that you are going to attain your goals is with your systematic planning and absolute dedication. You need a clear vision, a game plan for attack, and then set forth to make it happen. That means making connections, mentors, can do it but don’t think that you have to do it alone. Once you know what it is that you want most don’t stop in your pursuit of it. The resources are out there if you know who to reach out to and aren’t too proud to ask for mentors and help.
4. BE TRUE TO [YOURSELF] This sounds easy but it won’t be. This means admitting when you’ve failed, acknowledging that even if you love your husband and kids you need to re-identify with who you were before as your strengths. It means that you embrace the journey of growth and all the things that come with it. You will have to make hard decisions, maybe even hurt some feelings along the way, but staying true to yourself is too important to ignore.
Think about this for a minute, if you aren’t true to yourself who exactly are you being true to and what purpose does it serve? If you haven’t already made this promise to yourself then you’re doing yourself a huge disservice and clearly not listening to the advice dispensed at The Indie Chicks on a weekly basis. Now’s the time to make the change, the time for procrastinating on this one is over. It’s simple; you respect yourself, your desires and opinions, a little more than everyone else’s. This doesn’t mean that you don’t listen to them, but you don’t immediately agree or follow the opinions of others before consulting yourself. Do what feels right to you even if it’s not what is popular or expected of you.
You know how when every New Year comes around, you’re set with pen and paper ready changes to your life that will stick? =
there’s no need to feel guilty about valuing your own opinion and needs and putting them ahead of others. It’s not wrong, it just feels odd when you’re used to putting everyone else feel much better when you’re being true to who you really are. I promise that if you apply these 4 resolutions to your life, every day for the next year, by this time next year you will be in a happier, healthier, more self any, and all, other resolutions or goals you have for your life will be furthered and strengthened.
Don’t say to yourself, “This year I’m going to sign up for the gym and go 5 days a week!” Instead, resolve to make this year the year you’ve ever had. Focus on shifting your perspective and the fundamentals that your daily routine relies on. That’s when you’ll really start to see things change for you this year!
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Break-Up With Doubt! by: Renee Claybion Ever hear a little voice in your head saying you can’t do it or that you’ll just fuck up? That’s the sly beast self-doubt and at some point it’s stopped you in your tracks. It’s the voice that tricks you into believing the worst of yourself, the one that forces you to believe that you can’t accomplish a goal. It’s a natural human emotion and no one is immune to it; even the most successful people have had their struggles with self-doubt.
fueling limiting beliefs. If you let it run wild it will consume you, forcing you to hesitate before making even the simplest decision. Self-doubt is your fear of failure plain and simple and while you may never be able to rid yourself of doubt entirely, I’ve come up with some ways to help manage and be aware of the monster before it takes over.
Remove the Negative and Get Motivated In order to free yourself of doubt you have to stay away from the negative. Negative thoughts and language will only cripple your from your vocabulary and it will help cement your beliefs. do anything” and he’s right. Once you continue to tell yourself you can, you believe it. Similarly, if you surround yourself with negative people that only bash your ideas you’ll start to believe them. Toxic, negative people are generally unhappy with their
Fear and doubt will limit you from reaching higher levels of success both personally and professionally, so this year set your goals and execute them with gusto and leave doubt behind. [22] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
lives and tend to project that onto anyone with a shot at happiness. Why let someone like that steal your energy? As the saying goes ship. When entering a new venture, big or small, you need to have stand behind you, don’t allow them to be part of the journey. Look for people that are supportive and passionate about their own lives because that energy will be intoxicating and help you push yourself. You deserve to be around people that will lift you up and push you to better yourself. Squash self-doubt and get motivated. Don’t be afraid to reach out to those people that support you when you start to waver, there’s no shame in needing a boost. After a a better position to handle the stress that led to your doubt.
Control Your Imagination Generally having a healthy imagination is a wonderful quality but when it comes to self-doubt you have to keep it in check. Letting your imagination run wild with all the “what ifs” will destroy your wrong direction. One doubtful thought will turn into millions and you will start to imagine all the negative things that can happen. If you’re planning on success while only imagining failure you will end up frustrated and miserable. Your imagination can be the number one cause for self-doubt but universe and for this, your imagination is a gloriously powerful
When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt. -Honore de Balzac
thing. If you start picturing yourself in aspects of whatever you’re doing and you’ll be more open to positive opportunities.
Avoid Indecision When you’re starting something new, doubt will get in the way of making any decision. Going back and forth in a mental game of tennis; indecision can render you helpless if you allow it. You can’t keep waiting for a magic sign to prove to you that you’re making the right decision, because it won’t happen. Self-doubt will not just stop on its own, you have to get ahead of it and take action. Have the courage to take a leap and make a decision when necessary because playing the waiting game won’t get you anywhere. Remember, eliminate the negative and start the process. You’ll are far worse than anything real life has to dish out. Look at problems as a learning experience that will make you a stronger, more capable person. When you accept that strength your doubt will shrink. It takes courage, but when you develop the
Remind Yourself of Success When you feel doubt creeping in, remind yourself of your successes, be them big or small. Sometimes we downplay all the great things we do. Understandably complimenting yourself is hard to do when you’re in a funk, all the bad seems to outweigh the good, but you have to horn every once and while. Grab a piece of
get back up on that horse and ride. Doubts are only your thoughts and they don’t dictate your future, you do. Spend more time being your own best friend instead your worst enemy, because you deserve the best. You wouldn’t mentally abuse your friends and family, so why waste time doing it to yourself? Give yourself more credit; you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. This year make a pledge to banish self-doubt and start giving in to risk. Trust me the rewards are worth it.
staring at the blank page then reach out to someone you love to help remind you just how awesome you are. You don’t need start, jot down your positive traits and all the possibilities, and then read it back to start reading more motivational material. Reading expands the mind, and when you do it consistently, your mind will start following those patterns. If you indulge in positive material then undoubtedly it will start to show up in your life. As much as we all want it to, self-doubt will never disappear. All we can do is learn how to deal with it. Understand that it’s ok to try something new and then try again, no one is perfect and you will have stumbles but THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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13 Ways to Be
BOLD
2014 is all about being bold. You may not know much about the little badass that lives within you, but these 13 ideas are sure to awaken her and bring her out to play.
BY CHIARA MAZZUCCO
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Have you ever been in line at a store and seen someone be rude to a sales associate? We usually don’t say anything because we don’t want to start people’s business. However, there are times that it crosses the line into legitimate verbal harassment, and the situation calls for someone to stand up for the victim.
Always act maturely and assess the situation before you open your mouth. It’s easy to become a spectator of events that occur around us, but it takes real strength to step up and defend someone in need. Whether it be a store associate being harassed or an animal being abused, be bold and say something about it.
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interaction
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and felt like they were aggressive in their approach, to the point of almost making you feel manhandled? When speaking to an extrovert, or a generally socially dominant person, it’s easy to feel like they’re swallowing you whole and claiming control in an interaction.
sense of loss of control; the pause itself should be enough to recharge you. Though it can seem scary to threaten a dominant person’s control over an interaction, you need and be tactical about the words coming out of your mouth. The moment they pause for air, attack and claim the reigns.
This Year, No Fear
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If judgment weren’t a concern, would you still dress the way you do? Imagine not having to worry about what your motherin-law, your coworkers, or even your conservative friends might think. Would you maybe show a bit more cleavage? How about putting on those purple pants that everyone hates, or your leather leggings?
No matter how freed you are, there are always social constraints around you, and sometimes it’s hard to tell
dress however the hell you want – get fun with your make up, put on those sky high heels, and grab those leather leggings. Drive somewhere far enough that you won’t run into anyone you know and enjoy the thrill of being judgment free. You’ll never know how much of that
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when you go back home.
someone
actually actively, aggressively
completely invigorating about being involved in the dance of seduction and actually being the one to do the seducing. It’s
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does wonders to your self-esteem.
virtual megaphone. For once, don’t refrain from posting out of fear - if you’re proud of something, be loud about it Say no. Not only is saying no invigorating and empowering when done on a one-onone basis, but when you say no publicly,
Levels of seduction vary, and for those who are attached there are obvious limitations. However, if you play by the rules, there’s no reason you can’t get the full ego boosting place where your time is limited, like a restaurant or a mall. Envision yourself as Jessica Rabbit and let go! Engage with eye contact, wit, and suggestive undertones.
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Let’s face it; social media has become a place to share, to vent, and to brag. You can post pictures of your children, start intelligent discussions on relevant current events, and vent about the latest parking lot mishap. Yet as overly consumed we are with social media, have you ever gone to share something and stopped yourself from fear of judgment?
don’t be afraid to post it. Though we have a fundamental fear of being called conceited or narcissistic, everyone deserves praise for something that they’re proud of. The truth is, social media is slowly taking over in our day-to-day routine, which has what is okay to be screamed through a
The New Year marks an opportunity to, in a way, start fresh. Yet every year, we make these promises and for one reason or another, never follow through. Why do we allow the realities of the year ahead to come before doing the exciting things we actually want to do, for pleasure?
Choose one thing you’ve always wanted to do and look for a deal, that way you won’t be able to use cost as an excuse. Limiting this to one thing makes it much more attainable, rather than trying to go through an entire bucket list. It can range from something physical and exciting,
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yourself in public is one of the bravest things you could do, and it’s usually the liberation you’re in need of.
remember the thrill of blasting our favorite songs really loudly at a red light. Do you remember it? Do you remember the vibrations making their way through your skin and into your bloodstream, instantly we didn’t care about the car next to us. around like a sack of potatoes.
enlightening, like taking a poetry class. Whatever you choose, make it a priority
under an actual spotlight, and being asked to do something or commit to something that in reality, you’d need time to consider. The pressure of everyone’s eyeballs being on you makes it easy to say yes to something you may not want to commit to, and at the
Do it. If a song comes on the radio, blast it. Make a favorite CD – yes, people still make phone and hook it up to your car if you have the hook ups for it. When it comes time to crank it, don’t hold back. Dance, lip sing, and even shout out at the top of your lungs.
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There are certain traditions we love and there are others we can do without but follow for the sake of simplicity. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself which rules, conventional ‘truths’, or simple traditions fall into the latter category? Ever asked yourself what would happen if you challenged any of it?
a holiday; have a naked cowboy at your wedding; change the order of an otherwise career – i.e. skip steps, double up on path altogether. Whatever you do, shake shit up and get the thrill of disturbing the peace.
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people, most of whom we feel we’ve known forever – because we have. When’s the last time you went out and made a friend? As enriching as it is to have friends who date back to college, or even as far back as middle school, doesn’t the adult in you get a chance to come out and play, without having to disclose everything you’ve lived through to get to where you are today?
Next time you bond with the girl behind the counter, ask her out for a drink. That’s right - ask her out. The moment you feel that girl crush tingle, make your move! I know it seems scary and slightly weird, but the truth of the matter is, you can always use new friends and most of the time, so can everyone else.
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You know the feeling that consumes you when you’re listening to your favorite speaker or reading your favorite author? When we admire someone and make them our role model, it’s often times enough to inspire us to pursue our own paths. Could you imagine what it’d be like to actually reach out and get their guidance, one on one?
With the power of today’s technology and social media, all it may take to turn a favorite role model into a mentor is a tweet on a random Tuesday afternoon. The resources are there, you just have to know how to use them. Send an email, tweet, or add the person on Facebook and send them a private message. Tell them how big of a fan you are you.
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Not many of us grasped the true value of college while we were in it. We found a major and for the most part, made a beeline for our degrees without ever even glancing at other courses. At that point, we believed life would come with answers the second our degrees
Enroll in a community college class of your choice. Commit to one class, no matter what, that takes up a reasonable amount of time in your week and do it all – the reading, the homework, and the tests. If you can’t get to a community college, take online courses.
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If you’ve partnered up or have fallen victim to the annual girlfriend’s bonding trip, chances are you aren’t traveling solo very often. Those who don’t travel for business travel alone! Whether it scares you or relaxes you, a solo trip is a must take step to getting closer to your inner badass.
an eye out for alerts. Though a good ol’ fashioned week long vacation would do wonders for your sanity – and courage – the truth is, even a day trip could have the same gas and force yourself to interact with people and situations you don’t encounter alone on a daily basis. So whether you pick one or pick them all, allow this list to spark some sort of excitement within you. Make this year about challenging yourself and have some fucking fun while you’re at it!
BE BOLD. BE EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO BE.
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were handed to us at graduation. Most of us can vouch that isn’t the way life works. Regardless, if you could back to school, what class would you take? Life is about learning, no matter how old you are, and there is no reason it should ever be put on the back burner.
Make Real Friends
“
by: Julie Zantopoulos
A true friend loves freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably.
H
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WILLIAM PENN
ow many of us can say that we have that in a friend, or even more rarely, in more than one friend? If I had to guess, I would say that there are some of you who are smiling, nodding, and remembering all the fantastic times with such a friend.
you get the harder it becomes to form bonds of friendship that go beyond ‘acquaintance’ or “colleague.’ There is a general consensus that you should have your main group of friends by the time you are in your mid 20s or early 30s, but we know that’s not always true.
drinking in these words and wishing they had a friend like that.
Sadly, one of the things that can really bond a friendship is the passing of years. Those friends we grew up with, who traveled along similar life paths, and who continue to walk a parallel path are the ones we tend to be closest to. Well, you can’t go back in time and create that
“DUDE, IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER TO MAKE FRIENDS THE OLDER YOU GET!” We know. It’s easy to make friends in high school, college, hell even at your
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oldest and dearest friends just can’t hang with our new selves.
kinds of huge milestones can serve to bond and distance friends. Even the best of friends have relationship waters to navigate when life paths veer away from one another. That isn’t to say you leave them behind all together, but that bond, that ‘you just get me’ feeling fades a bit. Suddenly, you feel a bit more alone, misunderstood, and are desperately penning Craigslist ads for a new bestie.
Well, there are a few things we’d suggest short of taking out a personal ad, holding auditions, and otherwise stalking other people at the gym, park, or mommy groups (none of which we would judge you for).
When you hit your stride in your 20’s or life that suits you it usually turns out that some of those college friends you used to get shitfaced with on the daily no longer
There are other options for building real friendships that aren’t desperate and could be fun, even this ‘late in life’.
try these ideas: I know, another list, but this one is important. Sit down and consider the kinds of traits, interests and personalities that are essential in your new bestie. If you have a sadistic sense of humor it’s going to be essential that she have one, too. There is no magic answer to where to library, in line at the grocery store, stretching after a run, or at a doggy park. The trick here is to be open to talking to new people! Smile and be friendlydon’t assume everyone’s silently judging you. Start conversations even if it feels awkward. Don’t put all your eggs in one friend basket. It’s okay to court a whole lot of ladies; in fact
One of the best ways to instantly bond is to do something scary together. Even if it’s just hitting up a networking event where the only person you know is each other; do it. Just as you do in love, you must give emailing, and messaging them. Make them feel wanted and not like they’re chasing you down for a little time. When the friendship is forming don’t be needy. She may be your only friend but clinging isn’t hot in any situation. Nothing bonds two people, or proves that you aren’t a match, like a road trip. Take a weekend girls trip and drive there. Everything from taste in music, if they chill or want to be active, if they’re constant chatter or the kitchen table. All this and more can be learned from a simple girls weekend. The anxiety and stress of making friends doesn’t stop after grade school. It’s still scary to walk up to somebody and ask, that young girl of 7 on the playground grinning from ear to ear because they made friends with the new girl. You can get that feeling again, you just have to be as open to life’s possibilities as you were back then.
who checks all your boxes so why ask them to? Not every chick you connect with is going sucking the very life out of you. Cut your ties and move on.
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FIX YOUR FLAWS ONCE AND FOR ALL BY RENEE CLAYBION
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here isn’t a woman alive who hasn’t uttered some form of these phrases, spending hours in the mirror breaking down every pore, freckle and lump. It’s natural, we live in a world obsessed with beauty and perfection and so only way to truly love and thrive as individuals is to embrace all that makes you unique. No more spending
two mirrors, our external mirror, which is how others see us, and our internal mirror, which is how we see ourselves. Generally speaking our external mirror is more accurate, people see us for who we really are. Our internal mirror, on the other hand, is often skewed from a young age. Have you ever gotten a compliment and internally disregarded it because, “They just don’t see what I see”?
it’s time to embrace who you are and come to terms
Finding the balance between these two can be hard, but
I know, easier said than done, but who would I be if I didn’t give you the tools to start a new year with a fresh self-conscious? We’re all fearless badass women and we need to focus our energy on taking over the world, not breaking down our image.
Awareness is Key time to understand why they bother you. Take a look and ask yourself why you’re worried about it. Is it a newly discovered wrinkle around the eye? Is it a gap in your teeth? Whether it’s something new or an issue you’ve had since childhood the distain you feel rarely
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around your eyes bring up a fear of growing older or the gap in your teeth was a point of contention for the bullies of your youth. Once you begin to shed light on the root of the issue it becomes easier to set them aside and let them go. After all, everyone gets older, and your husband still loves you with that gap in your teeth. Accepting your worries makes it easier to reconcile
Appreciate Maybe it’s not that deep for you, not everyone was bullied and not everyone cares about getting older, sometimes you just don’t like something. That doesn’t the way you do, or has that little freckle over her eye. Instead of looking in the mirror and labeling things
I hate my chin My nose is too big wish I didn't have these scars Why are my thighs so big
She’s been very vocal about not getting A big nose, small boobs, curly hair you name it, they are all attributes that make What a bland world we’d live in if we all looked alike, life is all about variety. Start
it makes her stand out. Cindy Crawford would have never become a super model if she’d had her mole removed, she’d just be another brunette with long legs. You
them. If you’ve got small boobs consider yourself lucky, there’s no end to the fashion options you have. Got large eyes, draw more attention to them with makeup
just like these women did; they took what
attention. The more you start to embrace
start a new career, changing it might ruin one. Jennifer Grey (Dirty Dancing) got
the love you have for yourself and want to be close to that.
Everyone has a role model and maybe you ‘ve found yours in a celebrity, maybe it’s a close family member with similar features, but embracing your look will open the door for you to become a role model to someone else.
Find Inspiration take a closer look at some of those popular celebrities. Not just the bottled blondes them unique. Remember that if they really all did look the same, they wouldn’t have gotten the job, there’s something
important factor in a woman’s life but it doesn’t have to be a debilitating one. Set a realistic and tangible goal and make a plan to execute it. Don’t spend time dwelling on it and don’t compare yourself like someone else; picture your best self
fabulous. Who didn’t draw on a mole and pout like Marilyn Monroe? Owning your
Motivation can’t improve, use them to better yourself. If you don’t like your thighs and want to exercises that focus on that area. Let
it half way you’ll feel more pride because you did it to be the best you and not to be like someone else. Most importantly, remember this: every woman, big or small, tall or short, feels means that you’re comfortable with yourself and everyone deserves that. You can’t control everything and some things don’t need to be controlled. Your parents created you, the things you call your experiences, and they are beautiful. you and the more you learn to embrace them the more power you will feel. You’re relationship with yourself impacts the relationship you have with others, so start your new year with love and acceptance and see how much you conquer! THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Perspective 2014 With a ;Badass;Twist
by: Julie Zantopolos
doesn’t break even, or your husband gets more and more distant what do you do? Do you throw up your hands in despair and give up? Do you dig in your heels and refuse to be denied, getting angry and and get so depressed you can’t get out of bed while cursing God and everyone but yourself for your misfortune. Your perception of hardships determines whether you pick yourself back up and try again or act like is what helps you to
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here is little in life as important as the way you view the world around you. It’s something so innate in us that you hardly
you look at a person, a situation, and you make an assessment based on your perception. Your worldview, your “rose colored glasses” skew everything in your life. Think about that for a minute, would you? Your perception impacts everything you see and everything you do. Daily. Right article; if you are nodding your head or rolling your eyes, that’s a part of your perception on advice like this. In life you are going to be thrown roadblocks and it is your perception, your perspective, on those obstacles that will determine whether you can jump over them or allow them to stop you. So when
things don’t work the way you want but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t working just as they were meant to. While no one perception is “right” and another “wrong” there are some that are preferred. We’re not saying be all sunshine and giggles, because we all know that isn’t realistic, but there are ways to better your perception of the world around you and lead a happier,
realistically is accepting your part in your own life is self-defeating. You can’t take your life and deny your role in the ones you aren’t happy with. Your business partner is awful, your husband is verbally abusive, or your job is sucking your soul. Guess what? All of that is your fault. It is. It’s your fault that you allow it all to happen without taking steps to change it. No excuses; just get real with yourself. You could stand up for yourself, leave him, or quit but you have made a decision not to. Either accept that and deal with it or do something to change it but don’t whine about it anymore. 2014 has no room for whining. When you acknowledge the role you play in the situations that don’t make you happy, suddenly you are in a position to change them! Is there anything more empowering and badass than that? When you see your role in things that make you miserable, suddenly possibilities are everywhere and you can start to see easy? Hell no. In fact sometimes it will be downright awful. In the darkest of times remember that you have within yourself, the ability to reach out for help, to make a change, to better yourself. Every second of every day towards a better you, a better life, and a
The answer to a better perception is not lowering expectations for life and those around you. It’s not being jaded and guarded. It’s about being realistic, informed and fearless and we can help you do just that!
Perception 2014 new perception of the world you are in. Take responsibility for your actions, your situation, your mistakes and successes. A huge part of viewing the world
steps in that direction you are wasting your time, and everyone else’s. This year be aware of your perception, of that things are never as horrible as they seem. There is a way out of every hole, a light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to be open and accepting of the hard work and dedication it takes to get there. Go into 2014 with open eyes and the willingness to change what doesn’t work and kick some ass! THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Find the Happy Close to a couple years ago I could barely drag myself out of bed to start the day. If I did manage to leave the safety of the down duvet on my Tempurpedic, it wasn’t until at least noon. I wasn’t living; I existed.
by: Chrystal Rose
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No matter what, don’t ever forget that you have control over your own happiness.
Support System There’s a small group of people you don’t consider your support system until you’re in trouble and need them. Chances are there are tons of people in your life that can be considered “friends” and then there are your actual friends. Then there are the 2-3 people you can actually turn to when you need them. Try and make that distinction before you need help! This will save you a lot of disappointment when you try to lean on somebody who doesn’t know how in the hell to support you. This isn’t a bad thing, we’re just not equipped to have 75 super close friends that will do anything for you. Hell you’re lucky if you have 2. Don’t be afraid to reach out. If you have close friends, especially friends you’ve been there for, call them. Tell them what’s going on. Don’t be afraid of burdening them. They’re adults, they can handle it. Sometimes just having a friend around to watch a movie, or to get out of the house and Leaning on someone and depending on someone are totally
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here were plenty of factors of course. I was breaking my neck working for someone else at the time, I was unsure of the future of the relationship I was in and my family had moved away. These were all
and distribute it to others in my life. So, be careful not to overdo it. If you call your best girlfriend several times a day to complain, or ask her to come over everyday, she’s not
went beyond that. I felt trapped in a rut and had no idea how to get out.
it you will be that emotional vampire your best friend is avoiding.
Somehow I did. Somehow I was able to scratch and claw my way out of that deep depression and despite some minor stumbles—not fall back in.
It’s not always about you and part of getting yourself out of the swamp, is to get outside yourself and your own bullshit. Help others. Listen to your friends’ problems too. Ask them about their lives. Not only will this help you to see outside your own issues, but you won’t feel like a strain on them because
Whether you’re stuck in a miserable hole, or
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there for you. When I was going through my depression I leaned so heavily on my boyfriend that at points he cracked a bit.
tips should help you get on the right track
Accentuate the Positive; Eliminate the Negative You know that friend that constantly bitches about her shitty job, her crappy friends, how much she hates so and so and feels the need to post on Facebook how much life sucks? Get rid of her. Negativity breeds negativity and negative people will drag you under faster than you can lose a new lipgloss.
job right? Start looking into alternatives and then make the transition. Get a head hunter and have them look for you. You never know what kind of opportunities could pop up. Or if you’ve been wanting to start your own thing, make it a side project until it makes sense to go full time. When it comes to your body, you know what to do. Get your ass in the gym, reach out to a friend whose super healthy for support, and start educating yourself on endorphins you feel and the progress you see will be worth it.
back. Is there someone you talk with and mutually complain? I’m not talking about an occasional vent session with your best friend; this is more like a routine. If that person is feeding into you rather than trying to show you the sunny side, you should reconsider your “venting partner.” Take a step back. You don’t necessarily know that a negative person isn’t good for you and that distancing yourself if the best way to start becoming more positive. being Negative Nelly, so counter their negatives with positives. If they don’t start to absorb it, it might be best to drop them.
recommend “transitioning.” If you’re unhappy with your mate and talking it out/working on it isn’t making it better, you much happier.
Try Something New Sometimes to break out of a funk or ignite some happiness you need to try something
New things will stimulate your mind and body, giving you a whole new kind of energy that will boost your mood. Even if it’s just trying something new once and never again, you’re taking yourself out or stay unhappy when you’re switching things up.
Take Control This is your life and you’re in charge of it—no one else. Your boyfriend isn’t responsible for you getting out of bed each day, your best friend isn’t responsible for your good or bad mood, your boss can’t dictate whether or not you are happy with your life. It’s all you. I had to refuse to succumb to the misery. There are still days now and then where I just don’t want to do it. I don’t want to face the day, the world or anyone in it. responsible for my happiness. And you’re responsible for yours.
workout routine or an activity of some sort you’ve never done. Get out and do it.
I also use social media to maintenance my mood. I follow accounts that post positive quotes and mantras on Twitter (The Indie Chicks Twitter and Facebook are great for this by the way) and if I see negativity on my Facebook timeline, I hide them or delete them as a friend completely; depending on the person.
Change that Thing Is there something that’s making you unhappy? Like you hate your job perhaps? Your boyfriend is mean to you? You’re unhappy with your body? Change it. That’s it. in something they aren’t happy with because it’s too hard to change. Yes, be happy you might have to make yourself uncomfortable for a bit. I’m not saying just quit your job on the spot, obviously you need the income or you wouldn’t have the THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Find New
Inspiration
by: Renee Claybion “Inspiration is hard to come by. You have to take it where you find it.” – Bob Dylan
W
hether you’re an artist, a musician or writer you are constantly searching for inspiration, probing for the fuel to stoke the
can mean the start to a new novel, the masterpiece in your portfolio or the next top billboard hit, hell it can be the push for your next career. You can love writing, playing, painting, have a deep burning desire to make it your life’s work, but your dreams will be weighed down if you inspiration but so does every person; it’s not just the desire to write the next bestseller that calls for inspiration but the desire to be better, in every way. So where do you look for the one thing that can recharge your battery and essentially change your future? Lucky for you it’s everywhere, but with the trappings of everyday life we just need a little reminder inspiration. Take some time to yourself and see if they spark something within you to get you out and on the road to taking over the world.
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Nature It’s time to let inspiration in and one of the best ways to do that is get outside. Mother Nature is waiting, just get out there and soak it all in. There’s nothing like taking time to yourself; when you need a healthy dose of inspiration plan a morning hike or walk. When you’re out there alone, the stillness of nature, the smell of fresh air, the feeling of being in the open can lead to bondless inspiration. Quiet your mind, don’t allow the worries of the mundane a camera with you; you can snap some photos of the things you love, sit there for so use it to your advantage.
and give your brain a break. Inspiration will hit when you’re relaxed.
Find a Muse any fresh material in my own life, I love to sit outside and people watch. Silence isn’t always the answer and sometimes you need to feel the rush of life to get inspired. Take a trip to the mall, leave your wallet in the car, and let yourself wander and see what kind of characters you run into. Usually eavesdropping is discouraged but don’t be afraid to casually overhear someone’s conversation, don’t be creepy about it but see what you get. Some of the funniest conversations come from the teenage girls in the food court. truly inspiring people might be closer than you think. Ask one of your friends what they’re grateful for, what’s the most incredible thing to happen to them. Dig a little deeper, it will strengthen your bond and might provide some excellent material. If you’re lucky enough to have older relatives still living, take some time and have lunch with one of them. Trust me they’ve got stories to share and would welcome your company. Let’s not forget, some of the most inspiring people are those who’ve already reached success, accomplishment you’d like to emulate and study them. Find out what you can do to be where they are. There’s no shame in taking on a mentor and being a sponge, it will pump you up and allow you to set tangible goals.
Media Media and technology surround us at every turn and as much as it’s convenient and
If hiking isn’t up your alley then take a trip to the park. Watching the kids play and the dogs run is a reminder of the freeness of youth and the exuberance of life, things that can be long forgotten. Take that feeling back to your creative space and see what comes out. If you’re really pressed for time and can’t get outside, fake it and watch
When you’re on the go and feeling in need of a boost whip out your phone and check out the web. Have some inspirational quotes handy to get you through your day
I get totally lost in a single episode so a marathon should do some serious good. You have to be willing to remove yourself
time do a little for your inner self and grab inspiration from that screen.
enjoy a quick mental escape. We’ve all hit the internet to do a little online shopping in the middle of the day, or jumped on
Reach out and read some blogs on people who’ve overcome adversity and get involved in a forum; it’s ok to create a little inspiration team. I love watching There may not always be great writing in a ideas. Watching great movies reminds you of relatable characters and sometimes a funny one liner can lead spark new creativeness.
Perspective & Acceptance The way you view things will directly life. Change your perspective and you’ll change the outcome. If you’re feeling down and can’t get out of your funk take a homeless shelter or an animal shelter, and volunteer. Giving your time in service of someone less fortunate will completely change your view of things. You don’t
have to sign your life away and remember, it shouldn’t feel like a chore. The fact that you are challenging your norm and will open your mind. Much like getting out in nature it’s all about being open; you just have to get out there.
your dreams and make them a reality. You can’t take over the world by being avoidant and dismissive of yourself but you can new possibilities. It’s time to get up, get
Other times it helps to accept that right an excuse to quit. Sometimes you just need to take a step back. It’s like when you’ve lost something and spend hours looking for it, the minute you stop, guess what? It’s there in front of you. Inspiration can be sit back and relax, sometimes that’s all you need. So now you’ve got some new ideas for a fresh dose of inspiration. Remember, get out of your head and squash negative thoughts. You’ve got the power to replace all those destructive thoughts with positive ones so don’t sell yourself short. You must think of yourself as limitless, remove phrases like “I can’t” and “I shouldn’t” THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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30 Things to Do For Yourself by: Renee Claybion
A
done than regret the things I haven’t done.” Surely the queen of comedy had some idea what she was talking about. Every year we set out to make a big change in our lives, we’ll buy a gym membership, swear that we’ll stick to a diet and promise to make more time for friends and yet all those things we planned to do get overrun by list. What do you have? Just a few hours of missed sleep, Top Ramen more than just once a month, and the worn out hole in your couch where your butt has taken residency. Sound like a repeat of the last few years? Whatever the excuse is, money or time, it’s your year and time to start celebrating yourself and stop putting your needs last, we’ve got thirty things that you can start doing for yourself today. A little me time never hurt anyone.
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the smell and just lie back with your eyes closed, taking in those soothing aromas.
6. Movie Night
You don’t need the next blockbuster smash or date night to go to the movies. One of my favorite things to do is take in a matinee solo. Finally, no one complaining about the genre or sitting down only to get back up and head to the concessions wouldn’t normally go see and take yourself out on a date.
7. Create a Dream Board
I know you’ve got dreams so send them out into the universe all your dreams, desires and yourself achieving those goals.
1. Take a long bubble bath
This should be standard for any woman but since we have plan a night once a week for your ultimate bubble bath. Grab a glass of wine, light some candles and put on some of your favorite relaxing tunes. If you really want to get into the spa vibe, throw some rose petals and bath salts in with you.
3. Keep it in your pocket
Rip a piece of paper into 5 strips and write something you love about yourself on each one then put them in your purse. When you get to a stressful moment in the day pull it out and remind yourself why you’re so awesome.
4. Clean it out
While it might seem like work, do a little something for yourself out the things you really love, that compliment not just your body but who you are. Make
2. Indulge in sexy
that every time you open those doors you’re smiling.
5. Magic Fingers
Treat yourself to a massage, even if it’s for thirty minutes it’s time spent not stressing out. If you’ve got a special someone at home have them give you a rub. can always lead to other stress relieving activities. Stock up on lavender scented oils and silk eye pillows so you can enjoy
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8. Dress to impress
It doesn’t always have to be special occasion to dress up, so don’t wait for one to shine. running some errands. Take pride in yourself and bask in the head turns you’ll get.
9. Starlet Saturday
Who’s your favorite female star? Take a day and indulge yourself in a private movie marathon, featuring just that on your favorite sweater, grab some snacks and indulge in some quality star time.
10. Enjoy the little things
Take a long walk in the park, or go on a hike on a Sunday morning. Nature is all around and lucky you it’s free to indulge lia in the grass and watch the clouds pass. You’ll enjoy the feeling of warm sun on your skin and the fresh air will do your mind some good.
11. Confess Anonymously Publicly
a book in my life. Sometimes
and you’ll be surprised how many
Start sharing some of your secrets and keep it private by posting on The Indie Chicks or on
indulge in one of your favorite classic stories. It might be Austen or something from your high school reading list, doesn’t matter as long as you love it. Take
18. Live in the Present
more freeing than getting things
get some culture.
way to do that than anonymously. Even if you just want to tell your crush how much you’ve always loved them, do it! What have you got to lose?
You don’t need to break the bank to change your look. Get a free makeover at the mall, those ladies
16. Get a Makeover
Instead of always making mental lists of all the things that have to get done, take a step back and be conscious of the moment. If you’re at work take a second and look around, if you’re stuck cleaning laundry take a deep breath of that fresh detergent smell. You’ll end your day feeling more relaxed and
12. Flower Power
You don’t need someone to buy yourself and get one of your can create elaborate bouquets or for a more personal touch put a single stem in a vase beside your bed. Each morning you wake up and see it is a reminder of how much you love yourself.
13. Pump up the Tunes
Create your version of an epic playlist. Make it as long as you like and go for a drive. Turn up the volume as high as you like and sing every word of your favorite song. It’s your own private concert, it doesn’t matter if you sing like Christina or sound like Flipper, enjoy yourself. the chores for the next day won’t seem so taxing.
14. Write it down
Start a journal this year and start documenting your life. Journaling is a great way to process stress and think things through. Give yourself thirty minutes at night, grab a glass of wine and your pen and start writing about your day. Writing in a journal isn’t always about the negative or profound thoughts. If it was a simple at ease day write about that too. The next time you’re having a shit time you can revisit the good days.
anyway, so let them play a little. Tell them you’re going for a night on the town and you want a sexy
15. Indulge in the Classics
for yourself. Think of them as your living history; talk with your grandparents about when
I’m an avid reader and while it’s
achieve their dewy perfect skin. Who cares? It’s all about having fun and changing things up.
17. Spend time with older relatives
Despite what you may think; spending time with relatives is
19. Go out for dinner a totally new restaurant to try. Go for a type of food you would normally turn away from and bring a friend. Check the reviews and of course don’t try something you know you won’t like, but be adventurous and try eating out in a neighboring town. Not only will you discover a new spot but you’ll meet some new people as well.
experiences. They’ll love to share THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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20. Redecorate
24. Be Grateful
Change up your living space without spending a ton of money and move some furniture around. You can read up on Feng Shui and truly create an ideal space but even moving the couch to another wall will make you feel better. If you really want a change pick a new color for the walls and run over to TJMaxx for some fun accessories.
Next time you start feeling overwhelmed and annoyed with life, stop and look at what you’re annoyed about. Is it that you have to clean the whole house? Do you have to make lunches every morning, or wake up early for a job? Instead of feeling irritated by it take some time to appreciate all the things you have.
21. Rediscover your town
Set all your clocks 10 minutes ahead, I know you just pictured the alarm going
Jump on your local tourism website and see what’s new to discover in your city. tourist track to discover and sometimes it’s just fun to learn something new about the place you live. Make it a group event and ride on one of those double decker buses!
22. Let it go
This year; make a pledge to yourself to time you’ve heard it I’m sure but this time, make it count. Allow negative things from your past rest, take what lessons you can from the experience and apply them to your future.
23. Give in to your sweet tooth
Most of the New Year is spent thinking about dieting, even if you’re watching your weight this year make a promise to have a in all your favorite sweets, chocolate cake, cookies, ice cream whatever your vice allow yourself the pleasure that it brings.
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25. Change the Time
about being late again, better yet, have someone else set the time, that way when “Wait, I have 10 more minutes.”
26. Become a Bartender for a Night
Even if it’s only for you and your friends, how to make them! First learn how to make your favorite cocktail then start taking orders. Make a night of it and maybe pick a theme, it’s just like being at the bar but without all the nose.
27. Mani Pedi Time
It’s always fun to get your nails done, but we don’t always have the money to drop into the nail salon. Take some time at home, pick out your favorite color and take your time painting those pretty hands and feet. Give yourself the full treatment and soak those toes, don’t just slap some paint the cost.
28. Stretch Your Brain of bettering yourself is giving that brain a workout. There are plenty of apps to choose from and nothing is sexier than a big brain. It will help you get those winning numbers for the Words With Friends battle you’ve been having. If you’re looking for something more challenging, check out fun brain game and will help improve your memory.
29. Learn Something New
Learning
doesn’t
stop
with
school;
something new. HTML, a new language, riding a skateboard, whatever it is, have fun with it and set small goals, you don’t
30. Stare at Yourself Naked becoming a badass, independent woman is learning to love you. What better way to do that than to get naked? Close the doors, strip down and appreciate all that beauty of yours, because once you understand and love yourself, you can take over the world. There you are ladies, thirty things you can start doing right now for yourself. Jump in of renewal and appreciation of self. You deserve all this and more and you have the power to do it!
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Start [ Fresh]
by: Chrystal Rose
Learn to say goodbye to resentment once and for all
“Harboring resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Carrie Fisher
M
aybe you think you’re teaching someone a lesson by being pissed at them, but in reality you are only hurting yourself. So much of what happens in our lives is a result of someone else’s actions. When we feel like we don’t have control over a situation, it’s simple to place the blame on someone who we feel does. It’s also simple for those people to move on with their lives because whatever happened didn’t really have as much of an seething in hurt and anger—they’re enjoying life.
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It’s important to set yourself free from the prison of resentment, no matter how awful the circumstance was. Yes, I’m even talking about those of you with heavy issues like rape, abuse and neglect. I’ve experienced some of these things and I swear, you can move past them. I’m not saying it doesn’t matter or that you should forget your past altogether. It’ll still be a part of you, but these resentments are getting in your way and blocking you from true happiness.
Make a List Make a list of the people that you have a grudge with—it could be any number of people whether they’re still involved in your life or not. Anyone you feel has done you wrong in any capacity. Now write down what happened or why you feel resentful towards them.
Ask Yourself the Following Questions: 1. Is this something I’ve done to someone else and may not have realized it? 2. Is this something I’ve done to someone else and I did realize it?
Let Go everything down, why it happened, the importance or lack of importance of the person and the hurt you feel, you can begin the process of letting go. Look at each resentment you have and think of the ways it’s
into full throttle.
3. Would I expect someone to forgive me if the tables were turned?
way. While anger can fuel us at points, lugging it around for longer periods of time becomes toxic. Understanding the cause
4. Is this keeping me from having healthy, happy relationships with others?
a willingness to let go and open up to the people in your life will help to heal. Take charge of your life, you’re not a victim, you’re a survivor. Don’t let these people and circumstances continue to have power over you. Take it back by forgiving them and yourself for whatever happened.
5. Is this person a relative or someone I see regularly? 6. Is this someone I’ll never see again?
Answering yes to any of these is a reason to let go of resentment. If you’ve done this or something similar, you should look at it. If it’s keeping you from having solid relationships with others, then hopefully you can see that you’re hindering yourself. If you and damaging, whereas if you never see the person again, you’ve stuck yourself in a box and for what?
Boil Down the Anger You might still feel anger but understand that anger generally manifests from being hurt in some way and is a defense mechanism. If you don’t give a crap about someone—you usually won’t care if they do something to hurt you. It hurts much worse to be hurt by somebody you care for. If someone you didn’t know violated you, that hurt stems more from not hard time dealing with hurt, it turns to anger and then festers into resentment.
You Don’t Have to Forget go of resentment doesn’t mean you need to pretend as though parts of your past don’t exist. Just know that it has shaped you into who you are, but shouldn’t be your identity or an excuse for your actions.
Now Start Fresh It doesn’t matter if it’s something that happened yesterday or 10 years ago, you can start fresh and say goodbye to resentment. It took me several years to be able to look my father in the face, after all the abuse he put me through and not feel intense
him as a person even changed. In a way, I felt bad for him. responsibility for my feelings and ownership of my actions and it felt so good. Starting fresh doesn’t mean you need to hash it out either, to resentment could be something you just need to do for you, quietly and internally. Start fresh this year and I assure you, you’ll have your most badass year yet.
Take a moment to peel back the layers of anger and resentment anything, ripping open that wound will help you to heal again properly.
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[NEW RULE] The Past is OFF Limits
by Chiara Mazzucco
O
h, past. It’s been quite the
are memories of love and of happiness; memories of pain, hate, fear, doubt, and life changing moments of failure. Moments of accomplishments, broken hearts, bad decisions, and of the We have a love-hate relationship with the past, don’t we? In many ways, we wish we could go back and do it all over with the wisdom and experience that we have today. Some moments we look back on and regret, others we wish we could relive every day of our lives because of the immense beauty and happiness they brought into our world. It’s a bit of a toxic relationship we have with our past, don’t you think? Did we learn anything? Was any of the pain worth it in the end? What about those moments of healing, beauty, and survival? How much of what we went through sprung us from rock bottom into the light?
most minute details have contributed to where you stand right now, going so far as the fact you decided to sleep in this morning. Ignoring the past does little to no good; no matter how willingly we want to look forward in life. You hear it all the time, don’t you? Don’t worry about your past; focus on building your tomorrow! And in many ways, it’s a very valid piece of advice. However, pretending the past doesn’t matter is like pretending a relationship never existed only because the break up turned sour. No matter what you’ve gone through in life, your life experiences have had on who and where you are today. You’d be surprised to learn how far these memories are able to propel you forward once they are properly acknowledged and accepted.
Do you ever sit and think about your past? If so, what does it mean to you? This year, we want you to let go of the past and embrace your future for all of its potential. That said, you can’t let go of You know the past matters. The good, the bad, the painful, and the seemingly Every bit that you experience in life plays a role in the person you are today, just like what you do right now has a hand in who you’ll be tomorrow. Life is a game of cause
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Most of us have a memorable past, whether it’d be painted vividly with pain memories. Either way, dark or not, your past holds the key to your future. Once you’re able to get that key and unlock the door to tomorrow, you’ll be able to toss it and never look back.
Think back to your most vivid memories and paper and write them down. However awkwardly and broken they come doesn’t matter, what matters is that you’re able to throughout this process. item on your list. Ask yourself, how did you feel then? What happened? What moments of self-development were triggered through the ordeal? Did it help what you can to put yourself into that state of mind - go to places you once visited, watch movies you watched around the same time, do anything that will put you as close to the person you used to be as possible. Go through the major events in your past and focus on those you are well aware have played a large role in who you are today. For those who have trauma such as abuse in their past, this exercise might be hard and depending on the situation, don’t be afraid to seek outside professional help if you need it. All of our yesterdays have worked together to build us into the beings we are today, and no matter how dark some of those yesterdays are, you need to acknowledge and accept them in their most raw form in order to move forward. We all have darkness inside us but it doesn’t make us bad people. The important part of this exercise is
that you become more self-aware, not only of the characteristics that have been engrained in you because of your past, but also of the issues that remain unresolved.
A lot can come from digging into your past. Some of it may be good and the rest of it may be horrid. Regardless, now that you know all of it, it’s time to let it go.
I know this may be hard, but don’t worry, we’re going to let it all go soon.
Don’t worry about the past because it’s already engrained in who we are together. doesn’t matter because you didn’t do it back in the mirror has already lived those experiences.
to cheat or that you let go of someone you that you’ve had it pretty easy your whole life and you’re scared shitless that the real world will chew you up and spit you out? Then again, you may have been made aware of some pretty fantastic qualities about yourself that have stood true through a variety of moments in your life, like being a loyal friend or a caring partner.
The tools you need to become better, stronger, and more self-aware are already in your blood, you just need to look within yourself to access them.
You’ve already learned your lessons, you just need to become aware of them and the person you’re meant to be. Facing backwards for too long runs you straight into a wall, and it’s usually harder to turn back around than we have time for. You may have laughed, loved, hurt, and made mistakes in your life but there is a whole other world waiting to be lived and 2014 is your chance to explore it with the self you’ve created along the way. Don’t doubt your decisions; embrace them, turn around, and go enjoy the rest of your life. It’s a fucking beautiful life. One you’ll see clearly once you let go of yesterday.
the past and actually becoming dependent on it. The latter is harmful and inhibits growth, and the former is often less help than we tend to hope it’d be.
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M
should have been spent celebrating by having lunch with co-workers and going to the drive-in movies with friends, days of my life. As I was getting ready to leave his apartment for work on the morning of May 14, 2003 my ex-boyfriend told me he had a surprise for me for my birthday. (Yes, I said “ex” - you can read more about the story in my memoir.) I immediately felt guilty. I had ignored him on his birthday, and yet even while on house arrest and in the midst of more emotional turmoil than I could imagine, he found a way to get me a surprise for my birthday. I must have looked anxious because Nick suddenly blurted out, “Are you ready for your surprise?” “I guess.” I replied, “but you really didn’t have to do anything for me.”
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“Ok, well turn around and close your eyes,” Nick said this in the same way that an older brother might say, “close your eyes and I’ve got a big surprise,” just before pouring something nasty over your head. This wasn’t new for Nick - he was the master of surprises, some fun, and many surprisingly romantic and sweet. I wasn’t sure which way he’d go this time. I obeyed him and turned around, closing my eyes.
I was losing oxygen fast and began panicking, wondering if I would ever breathe air again. I could not believe this was happening to me. This was not how I was supposed to go. What coldhearted irony to think that I was going to die on my birthday. I would never see my family again. I wouldn’t get to see my nephews and niece grow up. I would never get married, have a husband and a family of my own.
“Now, no peeking.” “Ok!” I responded. From somewhere deep inside me came a ravishing anger that I was looking forward to a fresh start of a new year without Nick in my life. I felt guilty for these thoughts, anxious as I was to leave, but still curious about the surprise. I couldn’t help it though.
doing this to me on my birthday?
escape from this same attempt on her life? In the report, she had said she’d faked losing consciousness so that he would think she “Ok”, he was directly standing behind me now, “are you ready for your surprise?”
“Before I even had a chance to respond, there came an enormous, painful blow to the back of my head.” It resonated throughout my body with such great force that I didn’t know what hit me. (I later learned from the police it was a hammer.) I was forced forward by the blow but before I could even let out a scream, Nick grabbed me in a choke hold from behind. This had to be an accident of some sort, I immediately thought. Surely, he’d lovingly lift me to my feet and set things right. I was dead wrong. The next thing I remember was the two of us
chance and as tears were streaming down my face, I didn’t have to pretend. I was spiraling down a deep, dark tunnel; my life as I knew it was over. I felt myself fading to black and then…I was gone. Later that day, Nick committed suicide in a hotel room by putting a bullet through his head. In the months that followed, I continually asked, “Why me?” This was not something that was supposed to happen to a girl like me. I should have known better. I was a good Christian girl from the Midwest with a masters in business and a job with a Fortune 500 company. Unfortunately my attacker did not see it the same way. I searched for anything to help me work through this dark time of my life. I was fortunate enough to have a very strong support
a reason for why this insane, traumatic occurrence had happened to me. I didn’t know how I was ever supposed to function normally again, as each day was just a grim reminder of what had happened.
hands were wrapped tightly around my throat. traumatic, isolated incident - all the while dealing with the death ever-increasing fury with one hand, and silencing me with the other over my mouth. I felt pressure building in my head. My eyes pulsated and my temples throbbed. I gasped for air, trying in vain to suck in what little precious oxygen I could. Hysteria overtook me as my instincts kicked in. I kicked and thrashed my legs and arms, reaching out to hit, claw and tear at any part of Nick I could reach. I violently thrust my head from left to right, trying to loosen Nick’s hold. I saw a black liquid spreading out on the carpet from behind my head, and with a sickening
a typical domestic violence victim. The more I searched for help, and the more empty handed I came up, it became clear to me: there is no “typical” domestic violence victim. Each of our stories is unique; and each needs to be told to help others. As I slowly healed, pulling my shattered life together with the help of a group at my church and through intense counseling, I good out of this evil, traumatic attack on my life: I was saved to help others. I wrote my memoir, a book that was born from the ashes of tragedy, the culmination of a promise made to myself, were not in vain.
my life. My screams remained silent, unable to escape past Nick’s would die if something didn’t happen soon.
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[
by: Chiara Mazzucco
]
meet your inner Badass
I’d like to introduce you to someone. You may not know her well – or at all, even - but she’s been by your side most of your life. If you saw her on the street, you’d only recognize her a few times of the year. She’d be the one walking with her chin held high, a new haircut, maybe a new job or a new boyfriend. She’d be likely to have just walked away from an altercation, victorious, or maybe she would have just landed a new job or gotten a promotion.
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S
he’s this deliciously vibrant, driven, and ambitious being who doesn’t let anyone treat her like a doormat. See, she’s always known what she’s wanted to do with her life; she’s just
out yourself. She’s magnetic and charismatic, and radiates power she’s not afraid to speak her mind, no matter what thoughts consume her. She’s everything you’ve always wanted to be and more. Not only does she know what she wants, but she also goes for it. She doesn’t let lovers break her heart and doesn’t let jealousy cloud her thoughts. She knows her self- worth and isn’t afraid to defend it if anyone ever questions it.
and
She lives and breathes fearlessly. She’s learned that the alternative, being passive and scared, has only set you back in life. She’s willing to devote every fiber of her being to propelling you forward. She sounds great, doesn’t she? If only you had a friend like that. Someone who would stand by your side and strengthen you in moments of weakness, and supercharge you toward reaching your goals and making your dreams come true. Could you imagine having unlimited access to self-empowerment? Would you like to be able to drink from a fountain of never ending adventure and courage? What if I told you I could introduce you to her, right this very moment?
it’s been because of her. She’s the one who’s pulled you out from the darkness and pulled open the curtains to reveal a brighter tomorrow. She doesn’t only come out to play in moments of extremes. So while you may feel like this concept of fearlessness and strength is abstract, it’s really in there for you to access whenever you need it. You just need to know where to look.
with the kind of songs that make you want to shake your ass. Sing and dance around the house and make sure to jump on every piece of furniture possible. Let loose! Set a weekly dare! Every week, set a dare . Instead of drawing up a list of goals you’d like accomplish, why don’t you work on getting to know your inner badass, instead? beast and in turn, getting stronger. So when 2014 throws its curveballs, you’ll know exactly how to deal with them. You’ll wake up with drive and ambition be able to tackle everything you’ve been wanting to tackle – just this time, you won’t fail.
She’s your inner badass. And this year, she’s going to save you.
Do these 5 things now to get in Use her. touch with her:
Why You’ll Need Her This Year
weekend getaway and sit in silence.
This year, we want you to go big and be bold There’s no doubt about the New Year bringing in a fresh start, which is why we so diligently dive into a thousand resolutions you don’t follow through with most of those resolutions? What makes you give up? And a better question, what do you need in order to accomplish all those goals?
This year is all about self-discovery, so start fresh! and make sure you run through all our dares
you deserve and if you’re anything like me, you’re probably tired of the wasted resolutions and moments of weakness. Let this year be the year you conquer your fears, go for that job you’ve always wanted, lose the weight and get into shape. You have no idea how fucking powerful your inner badass is. Embrace her, because this year, she’s going to save you.
This year should be about making real, measurable, big time changes. Whether you’re looking to lose weight, change jobs, you’re going to need her to help guide you through it. If you allow yourself to unapologetically tap into your inner strength, you will be able to start making your dreams come true.
She’s in There, Keep Looking Every Indie Chick has an inner badass what your life has been like, you have encountered pitfalls, roadblocks, hurdles, and boulders. Every time you’ve survived, THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Meet Our Cover Girl
Cam-Ranh Chandler Being a singer, dancer and just plain gorgeous is what makes Cam-Ranh Chandler (pronounced CamRON) a total triple threat. Named after the bay her father landed in while serving in the Vietnam War, Cam is sweet, sometimes goofy and incredibly motivated. For our shoot, she embraced hair. We included a shot of the blonde, but let’s be real-- You won’t forget this face.
Q: What made you want to be a singer? Sometimes I feel the desire just came naturally because of the environment I was raised in; traveling, back packing, meeting so many musicians and inspiring people well as the majority of my 5 sisters and 2 brothers, being musically inclined helped a lot, too.
Q: What’s the message you’re trying to send with your music? I want more than anything for people to generally be happy. I just hope that as my career progresses and blossoms that my music will grow and will always help people through the good and bad. An emotional release.
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Q: How do you relax and shut out the noise?
“Never give up.” More times than not I’ve had every reason in the world to give up, but I guess, ultimately, I just didn’t see what I would get out of it.
Yoga, meditation and of course, getting a deep tissue massage!
Q:You’re insanely humble for someone who has so much going on—what keeps you from getting a big head? I truly don’t understand people who think they’re better than others, we’re all human. I believe the moment a person gets their nose stuck in the air, is the moment all the ugly it slowly begins to show everywhere within them.
Q: What are your eating habits like?
Q: You have an amazing body-What’s your workout routine? and involved in sports! I was really big into dance/gymnastics, track, as well as judo in my childhood. dancing! I keep it simple in the actual gym, cardio and crunches, lift weights every once and a great while, but my main happiness when it comes to body, mind, and soul is a great dance session or some relaxing yoga.
I try to always eat nutritious foods, I’ve got a healthy appetite, so I snack on fruits and nuts a lot. Some of my “tricks” would be spinach, and kale, dark leafy greens and my favorite fruit is grapefruit. Really good foods for weight management and all around health! I was raised a vegetarian so I like organic super foods, and salmon, I eat a LOT of salmon... I never drink or eat “diet” foods or anything with that sugar.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Q: How do you embrace your inner badass? Tell us about her. Well! I just dyed my natural platinum blonde hair to a bright red! types of styles, one day I will be straight laced and preppy with an adorable sweater and a bow in my hair, you’d never know I had a tattoo on my body. The next, I’ll have on leather pants and diamonds.. and a hemp necklace embracing the inner hippy I was raised to be Luckily, I’ll admit, I do feel I can depending on my mood - for now at least!
Q: Are there any strong women you look up to and admire? My mother is a huge inspiration to me, as she is to many other people. She gave birth backpacked with the majority of us kids across the country and back, all the way up to the Dalton Highway & the Arctic Circle. She also backpacked the inside passage of Alaska and the Appalachian Trail. My whole
Q: What advice do you have for girls wanting to achieve their dreams?
thanks to her. She home schooled most of my brothers and sisters. She had been in a
Do it! Make a SOLID game
due to other complications, recuperated and regained her strength and rode a recumbent tricycle from California to Florida. That’s barely the half of it when it comes to her. My mom was a warrior princess and did it all while looking like a complete knockout! She is dearly missed by many of her followers and family!
goal at a time, if you miss an opportunity, its not the end of the world, relax and tell yourself that everything happens for a reason. Never give up!
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Q: What’s next/in the works for you? I am lucky enough to be singing the National Anthem at one of basketball games! It’s one of the bigger games of the season so I’m looking forward to singing in front of as many people as possible! Always exciting for me since my dad is a Vietnam Vet! Singing the anthem is always meaningful to me, but even more so because of that reason too. I also just released my single “Say It To My Face” and am looking forward to local radio stations here in Charlotte to help support so keep your ears attentive! Make sure you keep up with me via Twitter @CamRanhDaily or my Facebook Fanpage facebook. com/CamRanhChandlerMusic for all upcoming shows and appearances!
Q: Where do you hope this journey takes you? What is your ultimate dream? I don’t know where I’ll end up, but hopefully someday I’ll have a great catalog of music I love, memories from traveling all over the planet and hopefully I ence in the world somehow, like I feel my mother did. I hope to somehow follow in her footsteps.
Q: You’re Chick now, what does being an Indie Chick mean to you? means being a go getter and an all around rockstar, all while keeping it real and keeping it beautiful!
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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©iStock.com/ AnnaOmelchenko
« Beauty & Style
20 Badass Beauty Products Under $5
We all want to look our very best but what about when we have to do that on a budget? We’ve all been there, pinching pennies, saving for something big, and cutting corners in order to make our dream business come to life. Don’t worry our budget badasses; we have you covered. You can recreate all those fantastic winter makeup looks and all with products under $5.
by: Julie Zantopoulos [58] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
1. Wet n Wild Eyeshadow Trios! Super pigmented, cruelty free, and under $3! Heck, you can even
11. Essence Gel Eyeliners actually come in under $4 and can be found at Ulta. They have great staying power and come in traditional and bold colors.
$4.99. 2. Burt’s Bees Chapstick is an icon but it’s popular for a reason, it super hydrates your lips and now
12. Milani Nail Lacquer come in a ton of shades and give you salonstunning nails on a college dorm room budget, plus they dry super fast!
3. NYX Jumbo Eye Pencils are a must have in any badass’ makeup bag. They make a great base for shadows or worn alone and they never crease!
13. ELF Lip Gloss comes in a range of shades that not only look great but have a great smell and all for $1.
4. NYX Wonder Pencil isn’t just for brightening the waterline but also works for concealing blemishes, under eye circles, and highlighting your brow bone.
skin tone ranges for $5.
5. Wet n’ Wild Color Icon Blush comes in a variety of shades that look fantastic on any skin tone, are richly pigmented, and are dupes for some fantastic high end blushes. 6. Essence Sun Club Matte Bronzing Powde. Want to contour or add color but not sparkle? This and leaves you with a natural sunkissed looking matte tan.. 7.
ELF
Studio
Brushes are
if you are looking for cruelty free brushes. Don’t miss out on their $1 line eyeshadow brushes as well!
14.NYX Jar Concealer comes
15. Elf Eye Primer is only $1 but it won’t crease on you, helps your shadow last all day long, and is a must have in any vixen’s makeup bag. 16. Jordana Easy Liner Lip Pencils glide on like silk, are so beautifully pigmented and can be used to keep your lipstick in place or
In addition to these products being deliciously affordable, another perk of this list is:
of yours. 17. Red Cherry False Lashes come in at $2.50 - so you can get two for our $5 - and are a great quality false lash whether you’re going for a natural or dramatic look. 18. ELF Brow Kit is what you shape, and perfect your look. The gel will tame your wayward hairs and
8. Milani Runway Lashes gives you length and volume that you can layer and all for a great price. 9. Hard Candy Single Shadows have fantastic pigmentations and friendly prices. 10. NYX Round Lipsticks come in a variety of colors and the formula is really comfortable to wear.
Bonus!
19. ELF Gotta Glow “Blush” Highlighter is a gold tone highlighter that is raved about all over the internet and we fell in love with it right away. It’s perfect and 20. Jordana Fabuliner is a must have beauty staple, a felt tipped liquid liner that doesn’t dry out and has great pigmentation.
EVERY SINGLE ITEM IS CRUELTY FREE, A CAUSE THAT WE’RE VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT AT THE INDIE CHICKS. There are plenty of deals to be had if you know what you’re looking for. We suggest checking out YouTube reviews on items before buying and checking out sites like Cherry Culture, HauteLook, and AllCosmeticsWholeSale for huge discounts on makeup.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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taking a classic look and making it unique by simply switching up the color palate or
by: Calen Spindler
Rebellious Looks to WOW this winter
A
nyone who writes about makeup trends knows that you spend a lot of time
afraid that it would end up looking jaundiced when applied in a more conservative manner that would be most appropriate for everyday use. I am happy to report that the orange eye shadow that I used on my model was not only her eyes. I used a true orange on her eyelids, contoured with a nutmeg brown which I mixed with a bit of the orange, then highlighted with chocolate eyeliner. If you are not ready for boldness of truly orange lids then you can still rock the orange trend with peach shadow on the lids and highlighting with a soft frosted grey.
Cat Eye GONE COLOR!
Purple, Purple, Purple eyes this winter because soft purple is one of the two major colors that are on lids everywhere. While it’s not uncommon to see a lot of purple during the cold weather months, what is unique this year is that instead of seeing dark purples in shades of Eggplant or Wine, we are seeing Lilac and Lavender—colors usually reserved for spring. The shadows also diverge from the previous matte trend by featuring some level Year’s Eve, to a subtle shimmer that would be best part of the purple trend though, is that the color purple looks fantastic with every eye color.
Orange Eye Shadow Orange is the second major color for winter this year but I will confess that I did not expect to love this trend, and was in fact prepared to not write about it if I hated it. Not only do I think of orange as an Autumn color but I was mostly
[60] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
drop the black liquid liner and pick up a color eye pencil. I love this trend! It is perfect if you have always wanted to do the cat eye but haven’t mastered the tricky art of a perfect liquid line. Since this is a soft look, you do not need to worry about your lines having the perfectly sharp edge usually associated with the cat eye. Also, since we are using color instead of black, the other aspect of this trend is to draw an additional line
that starts in the corner of your eye near your nose and goes right under the crease of your lid. This gives a little
top 9
my colored cat eye, I chose a metallic turquoise pencil and also followed the orange shadow trend by choosing a that you fancy. For example, The Cat Eye Gone Color looks brilliant when drawn with the other signature color of the winter, purple.
beauty vloggers to watch
Frosty Eyelashes What could be more appropriate for winter than a look
1. Sinead from The Makeup Chair http://www.youtube.com/user/TheMakeupChair/
on my nose and eyelashes”? Start with a pearly white eyeliner and line your top and bottom lids including your waterline. Then, use a white primer mascara and coat both sides of your lashes. Finally coat both sides of your lashes with the light blue mascara. Applying the white
Why We Love Her: She gives great practical advise in short clips that are super easy to follow and not too chatty. Straight to the point pointers, tips, and product reviews you’ll love too.
that icy look. Not only is this a pretty trend but thanks to the white eyeliner it will make your eyes look huge.
Why We Love Her: fantastic tutorials, hauls, product reviews, and more. She doesn’t pull punches and is very honest about products that just do not work.
2. Melissa from Melmphs http://www.youtube.com/user/Melmphs
3. Emily from EmilyNoel83 Why We Love Her: brand looks, hauls, swatches, and tips. She is super relatable and has from. 4. Shannon from Shaaanxo http://www.youtube.com/user/shaaanxo Why We Love Her: First her accent is adorable, her tutorials are bold, and her down to earth chats while she does makeup are like getting ready for your bestie. 5. Cora from Vintage or Tacky http://www.youtube.com/user/vintageortacky/
Wine Stained Lips This trend is reminiscent of drinking some hot mulled wine on a cold winter’s night and the resulting color left on your lips. The colors used to create this look are all bold shades of mulberry, red and plum and really draw attention to the lips. This look can be done with a simple lip stain stick but I have only seen that method look nice when a model has lips like Angelia Jolie. For the rest of us we need to use a little trickery for our lips to look stained and full. To do this you will need to choose a shade of lip color in both liner and a lipstick form. Line your lips with the liner and then apply the lipstick only on the very inside of your lips. Take a lip brush and begin feathering the lipstick out until you reach where you have lined your lips. Finally pick up more lipstick with your brush and really concentrate on applying a second coat to the inside of your lips to make sure that it’s darker than the pout of your lips. Enjoy your winter makeup trends and remember that it’s all about taking something classic and then thinking outside of the (gift) box.
Why We Love Her: tutorials, and honest advice about beauty and fashion are why we love this channel. 6. Karissa from SaturdayNightsAlrite http://www.youtube.com/user/saturdaynightsalrite/ Why We Love Her: Her fashion and beauty vlogs are freaking addictive. Great tips and tutorials matched with her love of Star Wars and puppy pics are so addicting. 7. Zoella from Zoella280390 Why We Love Her: plus she has a super unique vintage look is SO in right now. 8. Alli from MakeupByAlli Why We Love Her: She’s got everything from bold to every day in a professional and fun channel that draws you in. 9. Marlena from MakeupGeek http://www.youtube.com/user/MakeupGeekTV/ Why We Love Her: The founder of Makeup Geek cosmetics makes products (not just her own).
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Flaunt Your Beauty [ Hide Your Flaws ]
by: Sascha Alexander How to dress for your shape
I
Chicks believe in expressing ourselves through style and looking,
not really sure what “it” is? The key is with what Mother Nature gave you, while skillfully hiding what Momma Nature may have been less generous with. And yes, we friend, or Angelina Jolie, or your colleague with the humidity-resistant hair. They all have something that makes them wince when they look in the mirror. Their secret? They’ve learned to work what they’ve got learn. All it takes it a little bit of studying and some time in front of the mirror.
[62] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Mirror Mirror on the Wall Stand in front of the mirror in your underwear (yes, you have to!) and look at yourself. What do you like? What do you like less? Important disclaimer: saying, “I don’t like anything about myself” doesn’t
Stop Comparing The sad truth: just because something
certain look or color on her, it may very well look awesome on you. The key is in knowing what suits you. Avoid being a trend-hopper. Don’t just jump cluelessly into every fad that comes along. Explore that works for you, and worry less about what everyone else is doing.
Go hopping silhouettes look good on your body, what you can create a wardrobe that looks
life). Or vice versa; if your friend hates a
mirror. For some reason yet unknown to
out your phone and take a picture of yourself. Imagine this dress, shirt or jeans with other pieces that you already own; ones you like. Do you feel fab in it? If yes, hanger.
[FIND YOUR BADASS] Curvy or skinny, tall chick or good thing in a small package, every body type has the potential to look stunning if dressed the right way. Check out our guide to smart and stylish shopping:
Bodacious Hourglass Congrats! A curvy hourglass shape is often seen as the pinnacle of sexy (just ask Dita up that itty-bitty waist with curve-hugging dresses and go for skirts that fall just on the knee or slightly below to create a Avoid too-short skirts and anything that smothers your curves or hides your waist.
Athletic Babe A straight, muscular and narrow build can be quite easy to dress, just look at movie
A Tall Drink of Water Countless
supermodels
Pear-Shaped Lady like
Elle
Tyler are proof that tall equals gorgeous. empire-line tops, waist-hugging dresses the heels girl! Shape-wise, go for A-line skirts that balance your shape and block colors that look striking, but break them up with black or a neutral shape. Structured tops or dresses add drama and look eye-catching. Steer clear of cropped pants; they tend to look like you grew out of them.
Aniston. Your toned legs mean you can and straight sheath dresses look stunning
If your hips are broader than your top half, then you qualify as pear shaped – just like
Tiny Wonders
they drown you.
A little on the short side? Fear not, you’re in the company of gorgeous ladies such
Skinny Minnie
You have the chance to really go wild with heels, you lucky thing! Choose a well-
A super-slender physique can look willowy
or a structured jacket. The key to dressing your shape is to slim down the bottom and create balance. Stay away from anything
Apple-Shaped Beauty An apple shape means you’re top heavy Winslet and Catherine Zeta Jones and you’ll get the idea. If this is you, play up your cleavage and killer legs with V-neck tops and boot-cut pants. Sculpt your waist to look like an apple core with the help of tailored tops and jackets. Wrap dresses are your best friends, and stretchy tops and sweaters are best avoided.
dainty features with mini lengths and be wary of boxy cuts and long skirts. a peplum dress or top and accentuate your slim calves and ankles in a chic (Twiggy, anyone?) and be inspired. Avoid anything too clingy because a short dress
attributes. Then you can shop till you drop for staples that will wow. Rock that badass fashion sense, Indie Chicks!
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Q: In any spotlight, you’re going to have haters—since you’ve shown your face to the world, what has been the response?
SOCIETYGRL
Life after the big reveal “Love yourself and your insecurities, because then people will learn to love them too.”
A: The old haters have stopped all congratulated me for my success, but there ones prior. It’s a bit funny actually, now
Q: How do you handle the battle between yourself, Julia and SocietyGrl? A: Societyglr is completely myself now. It’s not 2 people anymore. Whatever I feel is what I do. I AM SOCIETYGRL. No one else can be her, because it’s completely 100% my style, life, and my own struggles.
Q: Tell us some of your diet secrets. A: Oh there are plenty of diet secrets, but they are not secret. You can google all of these ‘secrets’ any day. A lot of my followers know that I have recently lost a lot of weight in the past year or so due to my new ‘diet’. It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle, which is why I am slim. I don’t drink alcohol, soda, or any other sugar loaded drinks. With the process of losing weight, I have reprogrammed my metabolism to be like a 12 year old. Even though now I get to enjoy cookies and pasta every ones in a while, getting here was a real battle. I cut out all sugar and gluten out of my diet for I swear by eating 4 times a day and ALWAYS grabbing breakfast, no matter how little it is. It is the key to staying slim. black heart. Don’t eat yogurt, or try to stay away from dairy. Stay away from breakfast sandwiches. Raw almonds are your best friend. Hot sauce on everything. INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
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“Work hard and risk everything. The worst you can do is fail.”
HER MUST-HAVES!
1
Leather is seriously a color palette this year. There comes a time when you know you NEED to have a certain item in your closet, and this year this is it. If you’re not wearing leather this year, you’re not doing it right. However, one can easily get too carried away with leather leggings, jeans, shoes, and accessories. A leather jacket
around with the thicker heel or a everyday use, and I guarantee you
sweater or hoodie underneath the jacket.
dresses, they are the most wanted and needed item for the upcoming year.
2
that your mama gave you, doesn’t mean you can’t look good. Another classic has yet become a modern favorite. High waisted, over the knee on the runway in unique styling ways. A wool crop top, simple shoes, and a clutch fresh. A pencil skirt is a great must have for this year; you can wear it to your dream interview or easily pair it with a low cut top for a night out with your girls. Don’t be afraid to play around with patterns and prints.
5 photos courtesy of www.net-a-porter.com
right at the ankle are considered
Even people in knew it. It’s versatile, modern, edgy, and most importantly a piece you won’t regret. It’s okay to grab a few
Think classy meets sexy. Just because you are not
3
Unfortunately, fashion is an extremist, and this year it’s the choice between knee-high boots or booties. I vote booties; they are extremely versatile and can be used year round. Dressy or casual, belts or buckles, black or white, booties are having a major moment and
4
No this is not your mom’s turtleneck sweater, but a new twist to the vintage trend. Who knew that turtlenecks would make a come back? A voluminous turtleneck is on the top of every ones list and wont resemble the 90’s. This winter rock the turtleneck shades or a crop top with a high waist. Granted, this trend is for the bold fashionista, but eyes on you with such a risky trend - also a great transitional piece into the warmer months. A sheer cotton basic turtleneck is a daring statement piece with a pantsuit, skirt, and even a simple trouser that can be worn during spring.
and t-shirt dresses. It’s an instant transformational pant that gives you the trousers are one of the hottest trends, it’s also a timeless piece. Every woman needs a great pair of trousers, be it in a pop of color or a high-waist, they are a must have, period. For winter months, a trouser looks great with a simple wool trench coat with a tucked in sheer blouse.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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« Health, Diet & Fitness
Cut Me Out!
5+
Quick & Healthy Recipes Anyone Can Make!
and it doesn’t need to require a ton of time in the kitchen. It’s totally possible to have a delicious, healthy meal without too many steps or too many ingredients. These are some of my go-tos when I want to make something that tastes good but is also easy and healthy.
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F
or me, cooking is fun, whether I’m just whipping up a quick meal or laboring for hours. The key is to allow yourself
you and your tastes. You may decide you prefer chicken in place of ground turkey. Maybe you want to cook things a little longer or not quite as long. Feel free to add/subtract ingredients according to your own tastes, just try to keep it on the healthy side and you’ll be great!
Baked Apples
This is so easy to make and very comforting in the winter. It’s a great go to for breakfast or a snack.
Ingredients:
1 apple of your choice Cinnamon Sugar-free syrup Low fat granola or steel cut oats Coconut oil Grease a small baking pan with coconut oil.
minutes or until apples are tender.
Protein Pancakes
Light Chicken Caprese
I love these and eat them all the time. They’re so simple but super yummy.
This is a super light yet satisfying meal. Add an assortment you’re feeling a little more on the hungry side.
Ingredients:
Ingredients:
1 serving vanilla protein powder 1 egg Splash skim or almond milk
1 tomato 1 package fresh basil Chicken breast (medium/small) Salt/pepper Extra virgin olive oil
should just be defrosted in their juice not cooked) Sugar-free pancake syrup 1 tsp coconut oil In a small bowl mix the protein powder and egg together until smooth. Add a splash of milk until mixture reaches a consistency similar to pancake batter. Not too thick, not too runny. Heat pan with coconut oil and pour batter in once pan is hot. I like
400 degrees. Slice the tomato and arrange them on a plate, alternating with the basil. Mix a tablespoon of olive oil with salt and fresh ground pepper to taste (this is better warm so tomatoes.
Lettuce Wraps
Pasta Bake
thing when I’m eating them for a light meal or a snack. This makes a lot too, so you’ll have leftovers for later.
Ingredients:
Ingredients:
1 bag shirataki noodles 1 jar/can of your favorite pasta sauce (I make mine but you can pick something up, just be sure there isn’t too high in sugar) Cottage Cheese Oregano, salt & pepper Extra virgin olive oil
1 green pepper 1 head of lettuce 1 package ground turkey Sesame oil Ground ginger Cayenne pepper (optional) veggies in a separate pan with sesame oil then combine turkey & sauce to taste, adding gradually to avoid it becoming too salty. Sprinkle on cayenne pepper lightly for a little kick. Remove mixture from heat and spoon into lettuce cups.
If you haven’t tried shirataki noodles you’re missing out. Sure, the texture takes getting used to but once you mess with them a bit and learn
To prepare the noodles, empty the bag into a strainer and rinse very, very well. Shake out excess water and place on paper towels baking pan and cover with a layer of cottage cheese. Sprinkle with salt,
minutes. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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“ “ “ “ “ “
Food is fuel. I use it to charge me up and get me ready to conquer the world!
I may be busy, but that does not mean I’m going to let myself go!
Ain’t nobody got time for malnutrition. I’m a healthy little badass!
There’s a party in my mouth and I don’t even feel guilty about it!
Dare me to cook? I dare you to dare me. I’m going to be so good at it and it’s going to taste so good!
This body is the temple my inner badass resides in. You best believe I’m going to treat it right!
[68] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Delicious Smoothie Recipes
[Smoothie tips] 1. Blend blend, blend! Make sure all your ingredients are incorporated and blended until super smooth.
2. Easy cleanup.
If you get yourself one of those small blenders that have multiple cups you blend directly in, you’ll in a traditional blender.
Everyone loves smoothies and with the rise of protein shake consumption they’re everywhere. There’s even a shake place near my house where I pop in sometimes and get a delicious low calorie, protein packed, delicious smoothie of my choosing. Not everyone has a local smoothie shack or can justify dishing out cash for one everyday, so I’ve included 6 yummy recipes to get you started.
3. Add ice.
Adding ice will expand the smoothie, giving you more to drink sometimes just tastes better.
4. Nutrients.
by: Chrystal Rose
spinach to all of these recipes. I promise you won’t be able to taste slight variation in texture.
Green Smoothie This is one of my favorites. Not only are you getting a ton of nutrients, but you can’t even taste the greens and it’s pretty delish. the best)
Ingredients:
1 small banana 1 tbsp natural peanut or almond butter (unsweetened) 1 serving vanilla protein powder of your choice 1-2 large handfuls of baby spinach
5. Protein up.
I included protein powder in all these for a more rounded snack but you can skip it and sub with a couple scoops of vanilla yogurt or some unsweetened cocoa powder
6. Limit sugar.
I don’t really suggest adding store bought juice to your smoothies because they tend to be loaded in sugar. Instead add fresh fruit or If you have a juicer make your own and add it in.
7. Experiment! smoothie, try experimenting with sugar-free pudding mixes and
smooth and spinach pieces are snack.
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«
You don’t have to choose between Combine the two and get double
Raspberry Cheesecake I loooove cheesecake, so getting to drink it as a snack is an awesome treat, and I think you’ll agree.
Ingredients: 1 serving vanilla protein powder
Chocolate Salted Caramel Mocha Lovin’
small amount of calories.
This is great for a morning smoothie to get the day started
Ingredients:
my omega-3s. 1 serving chocolate protein powder 1 pinch salt
Ingredients: 1 serving chocolate protein powder
Pumpkin Pie
Pina Colada Who doesn’t love this island fave? I found a way to sip a
Ingredients:
without the holiday pounds.
Ingredients: 1 serving vanilla protein powder
1 serving vanilla protein powder
½ small banana ¼ tsp pumpkin pie spice
So there you have it, delicious smoothies I make regularly in my own home. Feel free to experiment with these recipes and conjure up some of your own. I have no doubt they’ll be just as delicious.
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[71]
10 Steps to Conquering the Gym
“I love working out and feeling like a jack ass!” said no one ever. Anyone that has ever stepped in the gym
by: Kristine Santiago
insecurity and panic of not knowing what to do and looking dumb doing it. Well don’t fret kids; here are 10 Ways to Conquer the Gym.
1. Paint your big picture.
3. Dress like a badass. You know that rock star feeling you get when you
write it down and remind yourself about it on a daily basis. Your goal will be one of your biggest assets in conquering any fears you have over the gym.
2. Make a plan and act on it. Create a work out plan that can challenge you but is realistic to your busy life. Most people have a tendency to spread themselves too thin and end up discouraged because they discover they aren’t Wonder Woman. So come up with something that you feel comfortable with and get to work!
your girlfriends? Your gym wardrobe should make you feel the same way. There is no need to feel frumpy and uncomfortable walking in the gym wearing black yoga pants and t-shirt that looks like it belongs to your dad. Spice things up with bright ass in your gym clothes you will act like a badass in the gym.
4. Work one small goal. place has its moments of motivation, but it can also feel overwhelming when your patience suddenly runs thin. When you step in the gym each week come up with a small goal to achieve. Use the Stairmaster 5 minutes longer or take that Zumba
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class you’ve been eyeing. Whatever it is that you’ve been afraid to try, make it your week is over.
5. Find a gym partner & a backup plan. Works out buddies are a great thing to have but what happens when your buddy is not the mood? Are you going to sit on your If you are still uncomfortable working out alone try a group class or maybe it is time to make going to the gym alone that one small goal you conquer.
6. You don’t need to have a There is no reason to feel helpless and someone to teach you. Trainers are great but they are also luxury. Take action into your hands and use the Internet to create resource for information on nutrition and to follow.
7. Ask for help. Although the gym may look intimidating you will be surprised how many people are willing to help. If you aren’t sure on how to use a machine ask the person next to you. Despite what you may think nobody is amongst everyone who made the conscious decision to drag their ass to the gym. Not only are you saving time and frustration by asking for help but you may just make a friend. Gym buddy? Cha-ching!
8. Give yourself some credit. You created a plan, killed it in the gym, announcing to the world that you are on
Devil. He created these terrible objects to self-worth. It’s like a game to him, “Who can I make feel like shit today?” Your progress is not determined by measurements but by how much stronger you have become
and the only exercise you did consisted of
where your physical strength was when you started or how many times you picked the gym over the couch. That is the real progress!
all the t-shirts. You aren’t a failure, you didn’t waste all your progress and there is no need to adopt a defeatist attitude. Let it
10. Believe in your potential.
which means you have that many times to failure is when you decide to quit and you aren’t a quitter, are you?
9. Measure your progress in strength not numbers. body measuring devices are toys made by the
You may not be anywhere near your goal but if you believe that not being able to see then you will stay right where you are. You will not drop inches overnight and your ass
Don’t let something silly like feeling like a jackass stop you from getting your ways to help you feel like a diva in your big girl sports world. Stay patient, be kind and don’t let one bad day stop you from getting to your goal. It’s time to get that ass to the grass and sweat like you mean it!
believe that you are worth your goals, then you will be the Queen of the Iron Castle before you know it! THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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QA
Your Guide to the
&
PERFECT
7 Day Juice Fast!
with one of Instagram’s hottest juicers
by: Chaud
If you haven’t been living under a rock then...actually, even if you have been living under a rock, you’ve probably noticed that juice cleansing is all the rage lately. So what’s all the hype about? Is it worth it? Well, the short answer is yes, but the whole process can seem a little daunting. I propose we cut the crap and get into the details about what a juice cleanse actually is, what you can expect, and discuss some easy tips that will guarantee your cleanse goes as smooth as possible!
Q
What is a juice cleanse?
A traditional juice cleanse (or a juice detox as it's sometimes called) is the process of drinking nothing but fresh, to blast the body with large amounts of vitamins, minerals and phyto-nutrients. In turn, these essential nutrients and phyto-nutrients help to heal, cleanse and restore the body.
Q
So no food whatsoever?
Yes, no food whatsoever! I know, it's not why: It's true that our systems were made to cleanse themselves, but with all of the pollution, GMO's, pesticides and strange new chemicals in our food nowadays, it's our bodies a rest.
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This rest period makes it possible for your digestive system get to work on removing old, toxic and impacted waste (that could
Q
mood among other things). It does this
constantly processing new incoming food.
shorter?
You can do a juice cleanse for as little as a day, but 7 days is actually the perfect period of time and really the minimum amount of days I suggest you do, if you're can go longer though, and the longer you do go the deeper the detox, but trust me after 7 days you will feel noticeably lighter and brighter!
Q
How do I prepare?
One thing you want to make sure you do is eat light at least a few days before and a few days after your cleanse. If you've been sipping on gin and juice and tackling burgers and fries right up to the day before you start, you’re gonna have more of a cleanse, the day after, you don't want to eat heavy. You'll just end up feeling like crap.
Q
Q
What kind of cleanse should I do?
going to be GREEN! Greens are the most nutrient dense foods we can consume, meaning they have the most nutrients for the least amount of calories. Green leafy's also contain a wide variety of disease preventative and protective phyo-nutrients along with that awesome liquid sunshine known as chlorophyll.
many other things. Now even though a cleanse that's completely green based may be king, that's not to say that including some more colorful juices like carrot, beet and pineapple isn't a good thing. To the contrary, it's actually a great thing
and veggies can also be added into your add, given their density in antioxidants that protect our bodies from free radicals whose damage can lead to chronic health problems and premature aging. Greens and most other fruits and vegetables contain a good amount of antioxidants as well, but berries are top of class!
Q
juice cleanses? Can I make my own or does a professional have to do it?
It's really not that complicated. My opinion is this: The main goal of a juice jars of fresh juice in addition to at least more juice if you feel like you want to, but not less and the more green juice the better. I personally prefer to make
my own cleanses because it's simple and it's also as fresh as you can get. Juice is light, heat, and air sensitive and starts to lose nutrients immediately, so the sooner you drink it and the less processing it goes through the better your results will be. In addition, making your own is also
Q
swing it and would rather purchase one, go for it!
How will I feel during a juice detox?
couple of days in, you may feel like you want to strangle someone (I'm just saying) mind, feeling a little unwell and irritable in the beginning isn't unusual and how you will feel overall really depends on you! Since everyone’s situation is unique, how you will react to a juice cleanse will your current diet and state of health.
Q
Is there anything I can do to help to lessen the "crappy" feeling?
A great trick to use if you're feeling unusually bad is to blend a tablespoon and drink it right before bed. Toxins are released extremely fast during the
cleansing process and if they're not removed pretty quickly, those toxins can produce a variety of symptoms. Chia seeds help absorb and remove more toxins from your system quicker so you can start feeling better sooner.
Q
When do I get that amazing clarity and "buzzed" feeling people always talk about?
You don't have to wait long! The good news about all this is that usually between days 3 and 5 you'll start feeling a lot better, more focused and have a major boost in energy!
So what's the bottom line?
All in all, cleansing is a good thing and doing it every few months even for a few days, can really work wonders for your overall health and well-being. Remember, ain't nothin' wrong with treating yourself to cupcakes and milkshakes, but don't be afraid to treat yourself to a detox as well! Your body will seriously love you for it digestion, increased energy, and mental clarity (just to name a few) are well worth it!
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Hit the pavement
Those of us who are now frequent runners all had to start somewhere. My love affair with running began about two years ago. I remember it well: my feet hurting, my breath short, my whole body sweaty and aching. But I stuck with it and found the rewarding side of it. I now see muscles growing, my endurance lengthening, core strengthening, and a healthier body.
Commit
This may seem like a no brainer, but let’s be honest. How many time have we all thought but never actually did it? Make it a priority! Hold yourself accountable in whatever way will over your social media if need be. Get friends
by: Rene Burcham
S
become a reality. You’ll have your own cheering section before you know it! Whatever makes you stay motivated, do it.
o why do it? For starters, running makes
with endorphins that give you a natural high. Those endorphins also help reduce stress and anxiety. Running also helps strengthen your heart, lower cholesterol, decrease blood pressure, strengthen bones, and improves your immune system. In addition, running helps strengthen your core muscles and builds your joints. There is an overwhelming amount of reasons to get out there and put your legs to work.
your running potential. Here are some guidelines to get you on your way to a runner extraordinaire.
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Get the Shoes that actual running shoes provide for your has a tread mill. A consultant will walk you and prevent injuries such as knee, back or hip conditions you may have. They have shoes for everything! My personal experience led me to discover that my hips are out of alignment and my feet over-pronate. With all that said, my shoes help overcome and compensate for those
issues to prevent pain. And that is a very important factor for long term running!
Map Out Your Goals
Ask yourself this question: “What do I want to achieve with running?” Do you want to participate in races? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want an activity to pass the time? Depending on your answer, map out where you want to be over the next few months and years.
Start Walking
Whether you quit for a while or have never run a day in your life, it is important to gradually work your way into your runs. Remember that your body goes through a lot of stress during your workouts. Too much too fast can be very unhealthy. Start by walking half a mile and assess how you feel. Take a few days or weeks to increase your walking mileage. Then, start mixing in some jogging with to about a quarter mile before I was gasping for air. Don’t worry if you’re uncomfortable. However, if you feel pain, stop and consult your physician.
Stay Hydrated your runs. Dehydration can really hurt your runs. If you start to feel light-headed, drop down to a walk and enhanced drink). Evaluate how you feel and decide to continue working out or moving on to your cool-down.
Develop a Warm-Up and Cool-Down Routine
Unfortunately, a lot of people forget this step. It is very important to warm-up and cool-down no matter the exercise. These steps can be crucial in preventing major injuries in the long run. Try a medium-paced walk for about half a mile before you start running. This will get your heart rate up without exhausting you. When you are ready to end your run, lower the intensity for your cooldown with either a slow jog or fast paced walk. Gradually continue lowering your intensity to slow your heart rate. After you stop completely move on to some stretches. Find a variety of stretches that help cool-down your entire body.
runs. You may even feel exhausted and uncomfortable. Don’t get discouraged. As your body gets used to running you will stop feeling as puny. Until then, remember your goals and the long list of look back on those times and smile as
Push Through. Don’t Stop. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[77]
ATTACK YOUR FITNESS LIKE A BUSINESS PLAN by: Chrystal Rose You have a whole year ahead of you badass; let this be the year you don’t run out of resolution steam. You deserve the body of your dreams and I want to help you get it. So we’re going to attack as though your body was a business and keep track all year. Profits and Losses There are two major departments we’re nutrition. The second is sales, which we’ll keep track of your progress and goals.
we’ll call it a loss. In both achieving the body you want and business, your success is not linear; there are plenty of ups and downs. I’ll also be telling you a bit about my last
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wasn’t a piece of fat-free cake for me either, but if I can do it, so can you.
The year starts with extra pounds from the holidays and a burst of motivation to lose them. Normally, I refrain from the holiday sickened by my body and ready for the fresh start the New Year would bring. I started juicing a bit and attempted to eat healthier which helped me to quickly lose the excess but for the entirety of Q1 my weight remained stagnant. Mine didn’t start until Q2 and I felt way behind the curve. Use your journal to track your progress.
1. Weigh/measure yourself and get your body fat %. couple of classes, workouts, sports to do at least twice a week. 3. Start eating healthier by cutting out soda, fried and processed foods. Add in fruits and veggies. Just some simple swaps, subtractions and additions. a trainer, get a good one and have them help you set realistic goals for Q1 and for the end of Q4.
or a class instructor. Remember to take advice from others lightly, your body is yours and what works for someone else may not work for you. 6. Take a before picture. Nothing kept me motivated like actually being able to see my progress.
and keep it in moderation. I started to employ the steps I just laid
4. Set new goals. 5. Take another picture and compare to the others.
motivation slapped me in the face I decided to get on the train and not give up. I didn’t lose a single pound but I had a
stick to your plan and/or reach any goals? 2. Reward yourself for a goal with something you want other than food. Rather than buy clothes, because I knew I’d lose more I bought workout clothes to continue the motivation momentum.
I’d reached so much success in Q3 that I decided to reward myself with a shopping trip. I was thrilled with how everything looked on my body. So thrilled I decided to take my body to the next level and I truly thought I might die, but thought the challenge would be incredible for my
3. Up the ante. If you were working out 2-3 times a week, up it to 4 or 5. Make sure you’re doing things you enjoy and not killing yourself.
1. Goals. Check them.
4. Zero in on any unhealthy eating habits
3. You should be maintaining steady workouts and healthy eating. Make sure you’re eating enough. If you’re working out you need to eat enough protein and nutrients to fuel your body.
just keep the workouts light while you’re fasting. 5. Set new goals.
2. Rewards. If you hit all your goals freaking splurge girl you deserve it!
4. Add a new challenge. I know it’s winter but there are plenty of new things you can try, indoor rock climbing, pole you live, learn to paddle board or surf.
This quarter was a shining one for my business. I attacked my diet with a vengeance and ate an incredibly strict food plan for a month, then I began to integrate foods back in. I had cut out sugars, starches and alcohol for about two months, while a trip to Italy in was a minor setback (come on though it’s
1. Evaluate goals. Make sure you were realistic. 2. Reward yourself. nutrition. You should really be in a groove here. Change your routines a bit so your body doesn’t get bored, play with
5. Set those goals and really push yourself to reach them. psyched yet? Make sure you take one at the end of the quarter too! and plans for next year online in January to correspond with this article, so stay tuned. I can’t wait to hear about your progress throughout the year! Feel free to email me at chrystal@theindiechicks. com whether you need motivation, have a question, want some tips or just to share how you’re doing. I’d absolutely love to be a part of your success story. After all this is going to be your most badass year yet.
that it’s okay to splurge on something now and then just don’t do it too often THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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I
know that at times many of us are busy with everyday life. You know, work, dating, school, career, motherhood, a social life, (some occasional shopping) but that doesn’t have to be an excuse to not get in a good workout most days of the week. We tend to shy away from our workouts for a lot of reasons: It’s expensive and would rather spend money on some vino. It’s overwhelming and confusing and hard and torturous and, and…We don’t want to get hit on by stinky men at the gym. We’re embarrassed that we don’t know what the hell to do with a squat rack machine. It’s boring on the treadmill…the list goes on and on! So you come up with excuses. You tell yourself you don’t have time to go to you’re kind of bored with the Jillian Michaels DVD you have at home. Not that there’s anything wrong with her, of course. Don’t worry; Destiny’s Child did not call us independent ladies for nothing. You can create and do your own Whether it’s at your local gym or your own living room, you have the power to understand your own body enough to create a kick-ass routine that’s not boring and will sure as hell get you the results you need.
1. Determine Your Goals Do you want to tone your entire body, lose belly fat, sculpt your legs or lose weight? Determine exactly what your goals are before you create your own series of workouts.
Want to strengthen that core of yours? Do a variety of abdominal exercises such as crunches, sit-ups, leg lifts, crunches, planks, and back exercises like spider mans.
Need to lose 10 pounds? Get in some serious cardio with running, power walking or kickboxing. Each goal will have separate workouts that work best so knowing your
Repeat 3-4x 25 Squats 25 Lunges 25 Jump squats 25 Jump lunges
2. Know Your Fitness Level: or not. If you are just starting out with your up as your body gets used to more activity. Otherwise it gets way too easy to say, “I’m too sore to go to the gym today.” If you’re
level. Then again, if you know you’re strong and can push your body to the max, don’t do yourself a disservice by training like an amateur when you’re in fact the Hillary
Repeat 3-4x 25 Crunches 25 Leg Lifts 25 Russian Twists 25 Situps
new to the gym then start full force and get your ass back on track.
3. Create: When you determine what you want to do and how you want to do it, it’s time to create your masterpiece. Yes, time to make that awesome workout! Just make sure that it has some intensity and variety so you don’t get bored and drop it like it’s hot, the pounds that is! Not only is switching up your workout routine important for your own interest levels but also for your muscles and weight loss.
Do as many rounds for 20 minutes 30 Mountain Climbers
10 Jump Squats 10 Tuck Jumps Now there are no excuses. Us ladies do it all everyday; managing businesses, taking care of children, going to school, going to THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[81]
Krav Maga The Scary +[Badass] Thing You Absolutely Must Learn to Do This Year by: Chystal Rose A form of self-defense and physical training,
We know that the very thought of taking self-defense is intimidating and maybe even a little bit scary. Hitting someone,
the Israeli army in the 1940s, based on
punching a person or two in the face, but actually doing it is
responses due to threatening situations.
will be other people around and chances are your instructor could be a big, burly male. All of these components can trigger major anxiety.
N
ot too long ago Jarrett Arthur, a Self-Defense Instructor, wrote an article for us, debunking some common myths associated with the practice. We loved her so much we decided to take a class with her while we were out in LA. Renee and I were excited, and I was especially thrilled when Jarrett’s husband joined, so we could kick some big, muscly, man-ass. Chiara on the other hand felt a little afraid, which according to Jarrett is very common with women. The concept of self-defense is not only frightening to most women because they have to face the fact that they may end up being attacked,
to RAINN.org) has been the victim of attempted or completed rape in her lifetime and someone in the US is sexually assaulted every 2 minutes. Most think they can rely on instinct or adrenaline alone to get them through an attack. “Adrenaline doesn’t quite work like
afraid and creates a comfortable environment. She calls her Maga. The basic principles of any competent self-defense strength, athletic ability, gender, or state of readiness; based adrenaline; straight forward and easy to execute; include rolefrom the ground but emphasis getting back to your feet.” Unfortunately, there’s only one of her—but she’s working hard to replicate her style of training, so women everywhere can have the opportunity to feel a little less anxiety around the subject. “There are some excellent instructors, male and female out there.” She says, “I recommend trying to locate a local get past the intimidation of starting a training course is to look for women’s only training classes and drag your friends into experiencing some level of intimidation is normal, but feeling
you, which unfortunately in moments of intense fear, it’s physical, emotional, or psychological danger.” through the war.” Yes, a war. Jarrett refers to the attack as a war because it’s a full-blown battle between you and your attacker. A war he must not win. We hope to hell you never have to experience an attack, but the reality is you never know. You could do all the right things to avoid being a target and it could still happen. In this case, it’s better to learn it and never need it, than to need it and not know it.
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and watch other areas of their lives improve as well.” Jarrett divulges. After just one class I think Renee, Chiara and I can all actively believe that statement. So badass, get out there and seriously look into this. You owe it to yourself and those who love you.
2014! No Headaches, More Energy & Clear Skin
by: Rachel Chemerynski
H
eadaches, low energy and breakouts are enough to make any girl want to pull her hair out. And you thought your days of pimple cream were stuck in the past along with puberty and braces. What gives? Fortunately, there’s hope for you after all! Developing healthy lifestyle habits does a lot more than contribute to a happy heart and waistline. Follow these simple tips to look and feel your very best self this year!
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10 Tips to a Healthier Year
Develop a Healthy Exercise Routine Hitting the gym does more than tone that bootie of yours. Sweating stimulates the release of toxins while boosting oxygen circulation, which
may seem counter-intuitive, exercising regularly can actually give you that feel-good energy you’ve been looking for. Endorphins, baby!
Hydrate
Sure, we’ve all been told we need to drink more water but the fact of the matter is H2O not only prevents dehydration, but it also boosts energy, curbs hunger, and reduces headaches all in one. Not to mention it promotes glowing skin by slowing the aging process and keeping pores clean & clear. We can cheers to that!
Get Your Beauty Sleep Sleep deprivation not only makes you you look and feel. Did you know that the skin best rejuvenates while you’re fast asleep, promoting healthy cell growth and your body craves energy, usually in the form of processed carbs and sweets. While one should aim for 7 to 9 hours a night, everyone has their own dream sleep cycle, so do what works for you.
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Clean Out the Pantry It’s time to get rid of the foods that aren’t serving you, such as packaged snacks, These foods are full of chemical toxins, leading to a number of potential health aspartame, for one, has been linked to headaches, fatigue, and anxiety attacks. Not to mention processed foods, especially those loaded with sugar, don’t do much for your beauty regime either, causing nasty breakouts and aging skin. We’ll pass on that!
Eat Clean with real foods like whole grains, organic meats, fresh produce and grass-fed dairy products is vital for living well.
inside and out!
Skin Enhancers: like salmon, walnuts and avocados promote strong, healthy cells for beautiful skin, hair and nails! protect against freeradical damage while slowing the aging like berries, artichokes, white tea and dark chocolate. such as spinach, kale, and restore and maintain healthy cells. like brown rice, rolled oats and buckwheat promote long-lasting energy as opposed to white, such as broccoli and bok choy are full of vitamins and nutrients, lending the body refreshing, vital energy. like almonds, cashews, and energy-boosting magnesium, ideal for women with low energy levels.
Headache Squashers: are extremely high in magnesium, wonderful for women who headaches. Sweet potatoes and leafy greens are also high on the list. like watermelon, cucumber and berries can help hydrate the body, reducing headaches from dehydration. Garlic relieving some of the pressure from swelling.
Check Your Caffeine Intake
There’s nothing wrong with a cup of fresh brewed java, but if your causing splitting headaches, fatigue and tired looking skin. And while a cup o’ Jo may give you a quick boost, in excess it can mess with blood sugar levels causing major energy crashes and mood swings.
Release Emotional Drainers Emotional drainers from challenging relationships and activities can wreak havoc on your overall wellness, creating unnecessary stress on your body. As we know, stress shows up in many ways from damaging the skin to robbing your body of energy. And the majority of tension headaches are caused from stress. Let’s all take a deep breath together now shall we?
Unwind Maybe you don’t have the luxury of taking a vacation to the for your mind. Taking time for yourself in order to relax lowers stress levels, balances hormones (reducing hormonal acne) and creates a sense of peace with oneself. Not to mention when you let go of all the baggage, you’ll have more energy to do the things you love most.
Step On Your Yoga Mat If you think yoga is all “woo woo,” you may want to think again. Yoga is a great way to relieve tension by relaxing the muscles of the head and neck. Developing a regular practice can also help calm to a better night’s sleep. Namaste!
Play with Essential Oils
=
your overall wellness. Lavender has been touted for aiding with headaches and better sleep, tee tree is famous for treating blemishes, and grapefruit and peppermint are wonderful for an all food store or online with companies like DoTerra (DoTerraOil. com). THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Braised Beef Short Ribs: Comfort Food to Make Your Guests Swoon
by: Sarah Keith Also, get a hot apron. Yes, there are sexy aprons. They’re like unicorns. It doesn’t seem like they exist, but the minute you see one, you’ll know it right away. Also, buy a you slaved away for days, and, like powder, it helps diminish shininess.
W
friends over for dinners, I would always choose the most elaborate and impressive meal that I knew how to cook, hoping to really wow everyone. Unfortunately, this would leave me glued to the stove, totally stressed out, and probably a little bit sweaty. (Thank God for white wine). I don't know why I decide to do these things (My husband should take note, I understand myself as little as you do…) but I can tell you that after a few rather unenjoyable evenings screaming at a gas stove, I learned one of the most important things about being a fabulous hostess…
[86] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
For me, part of the magic of a great dinner party is having a glass of wine (or 3, or a bottle. Or 3.) and spending time with your guests. To make this possible, the key is preparing a meal that you can do most of the work ahead of time. So keeping in mind the two ideals of “impress the hell out of your guests” and “you can do most of the work ahead of time,” one of my favorite one of my absolute favorite restaurants in Los Angeles, This dish is hearty, comforting, and will absolutely wow everyone on your guest list, from the pickiest eater to that foodie friend who’s bragging about… well, something foodie. Unfortunately, it won’t impress vegetarians, but then again, why are you inviting vegetarians into your home? So, pour yourself some wine, put on your sluttiest apron, and prepare the bulk of it ahead of time dinner.
Ingredients:
Method:
•
Season the short ribs with 1 tbsp ground thyme and freshly cracked pepper. Cover and refrigerate overnight, or for at least a
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
butcher for the meatier ones!) 1 tablespoon dried thyme leaves Freshly cracked pepper ½ cup olive oil 1 onion, diced 2 large carrots, peeled and diced 2 stalks of celery, diced 1 bay leaf Sprigs of fresh parsley Springs of fresh thyme 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar 3 cup of a hearty red wine 5 cups of beef stock
ribs on all three meaty sides, making sure not to over crowd your Dutch oven. Once browned, set the ribs aside. Turn the
scrape up all of the browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Reduce the liquid to half and then add the short ribs back to the Dutch oven. Add the beef stock so it is just covering the meat. Tuck in the parsley, cover, and braise in the oven at 325 degrees for about 3 hours, or until the meat is very tender. It should fall apart when pierced with a fork. If you are preparing this ahead of time, you can stop here and continue the next steps just before serving. Remove the short ribs from the pot and turn the oven up to 400 While the ribs are browning, strain the braising liquid and skim the fat. Reduce the braising liquid by half until it is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.
Serves 4.
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-Love & Sex
How to Make Him Fall in [Again
[88] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
by: Chrystal Rose
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Maybe you’ve been together awhile and it’s starting to feel like you’re just best buds, or room mates. Maybe you’re Maybe you know he loves you, but you can tell he’s just not in love with you. That’s a realization that hurts, I know, but the sooner you
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e all know relationships take work in order to, well, work. And despite what many people think, they aren’t linear. A relationship has many ups and downs, successes and failures. While some people’s relationships may appear perfect, they simply just appear that way. Even when two people love each other there are many obstacles to overcome, both internal to the relationship and external. Whether you’re at the height of an obstacle or just coasting through a lull, I’m going to give you some tips to make him fall in love again.
Look Within Like it or not, women control the actions and reactions that occur in a relationship. As much as we wish men would be proactive—they just aren’t wired that way. This is why we nag. We nag because we want them to do something on their own, rather than us having to tell them to. They might improve, they might have sporadic moments of proactive chore participation, but all in all they just aren’t that way. The same goes for things that they do, that you don’t like. As annoying, frustrating and infuriating as it can be, their actions are generally a reaction to you.
This may confuse you or even piss you
essentially we are the barometers. We are the measurement of “pressure” in a relationship. Think about it. You know those days where you are snippy because you’re pissed, whether it’s at him or someone else—how does he respond? And when you’re having a great day and feel happy— how does he respond to that? Normally, or positively.
So all I’m asking here is that you look
assess whether your moods have been negative, if you’ve shown him frustration or if you’ve given him shit for things. Focus on becoming more positive in general in all aspects of your life and he’ll respond.
Step Back A relationship just feels straight up shitty be overdramatic, egg him on, be sarcastic, completely shut down-- whatever it took. I ran the gamut with war tactics and to me that is what it was; war. I wanted to be right, I wanted to win and I wasn’t going to back down.
Now, I’ve noticed that I take a much calmer and incredibly mature approach to arguments. I also catch them before
I do it? I take a step back. I use things that us women tend to forget about when we’re overcome with emotion: Logic and reason.
When we start to argue, I remain calm. When he makes a point, I repeat what I heard. Now mind you it may not actually be what he said, or what he meant, but it’s what I heard. Now here’s where logic and reason come in. If I spit back what I feel he said, and he says, “you’re twisting my words!” I calmly reply, “I’m not twisting your words, I’m telling you what I heard. If I’m wrong, or you meant it another way, please correct me.” The key here is being calm. If you freak out, he freaks out and all hell breaks loose. In an argument, I also reiterate that we’re partners and on the same team and that there’s no one sitting in and keeping score. You aren’t getting points for put-downs, high decibels or even a valid opinion. All an argument should be is a discussion where two people are doing their best to communicate where they’re coming from to each other. Slow it down, stay calm and if he starts to yell or name call—end the conversation. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Don’t be bitchy about it, simply state that the convo should continue when you both can talk to each other calmly and civilly. drastically improve the state of your union and once you (truly) resolve something— not bringing it up again will help wonders as well.
Shake Up the Routine
knees together and work on resolving it. Talk to him. Sex should be an open subject no matter what the issue. If you are regularly having sex and it’s become so routine you have the choreography down pat, try introducing new things into the bedroom. A new position, buy some fun lube or a new (non-intimidating) sex toy. Have sex in a he least expects it. An exciting sex life will
stuck in a rut, a situation lacking passion that you just don’t know how to rekindle. Again, it starts with you. First, are you having sex? I shouldn’t have to even write this, but sex is so important to your relationship. If you aren’t having sex, ask yourself why. Does he not seem interested? Have you stopped initiating? Has he? Is it because you’re too busy? Figure out the reason and put a plan into action. Yes, it’s very easy to wear sweatpants all the time and rock a pony without makeup. Men are visual creatures and need some sex appeal now and then. I know you have it, so show it! If you’re too busy, make time. You don’t need to physically put him on your calendar but
together. Take a CrossFit class, learn to scuba dive, go to an art show or get a recipe and try to cook together. When a couple has a new experience together, the bond will tighten. Especially if the new experience is thrilling and adrenaline pumping.
Give Him Space and Get a life These two points are similar and yet very just mean physically. If you ask a bunch of questions or get on him the moment he gets in the door, if you text him all day, require him to check in, or don’t allow him to do certain things or go certain places;
bones. again, ask yourself why? Like I said, sex is
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Give him room to be his own person. If he gives you attention but would also like to go do things with his friends once in awhile,
shut your mouth and “let him” without acting like you’re allowing him to. He’s a man, not a beast that needs to be kept in a cage and monitored. If he’s trustworthy, trust him. If he’s not, then why the hell are you with him to begin with? Now get a life. Your world shouldn’t center on him. Chances are you’re a complex being with passions and interests outside of your relationship. So go pursue those things. Hang with friends and go places without him. He’ll admire your independence and in turn the two of you will get closer. I always say you can hold more sand in life out of him.
When to Dump Him Let me make one thing clear: If he was a your relationship and is now disrespectful, a liar, a cheater or a control freak that tells you what to do—none of these tips will work. The relationship is either beyond damaged or he wasn’t who he made himself out to be. if the love is already there, rekindling it possible.
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Why the Polyamorous Are Happier Than You & what you can learn from them by: Jane Jones
The thing all poly people have in common is that they pursue and enjoy relationships with multiple partners, and they encourage those partners to do the same. Many loves! It’s like having your cake and eating it too. Maybe Ron likes to be dominant, but Jim is sweet and gentle. Maybe Aaron makes you laugh, but Carl is a great listener. Variety among partners is one of the biggest perks of polyamorous isn’t the variety in partners. It isn’t even my energetic and multifaceted sex life. For me, the thrill is in the possibilities. Meeting someone new is a thousand times more exciting knowing that anything could happen; that we may become friends or lovers or both or neither.
Poly Relationships
(Hi, Jane!) While polyamory isn’t an addiction, it has a similar social stigma for many. It’s something nice people don’t do, or if they do, for heaven’s sake, don’t with polygamy (multiple marriages), or swinging (sexual partner-swapping). So what is polyamory, even?
What is Poly? non-monogamy. The Greek and Latin roots of the word – yes, word nerds, it’s a mashup of both! – mean “many” and “love”.
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separately from their partners; others date as a couple.
can. We love our families, our friends, our hobbies, and our jobs. The more love in our lives, the happier
it comes to romance. If we’ve found one person we like, we stop liking other people, and we avoid making more romantic connections. We quash the stirrings of interest in others and we ignore the excitement of mutual attraction, in order to keep our prior relationship safe. Well, most of us do. A small minority doesn’t avoid those connections. We have as many romantic relationships as we want. We usually have a “primary” partner we live with, and many of us are legally married to that partner. Some poly people maintain a strict hierarchy of relationships and some
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Having multiple love relationships in my life makes me a happier person. Loving and being loved by more than one person makes my more ambitious, and more productive. Our relationships are more honest - no need to pretend we aren’t attracted to others or We trust each other more deeply, because polyamory demands that trust. We’re stellar at communication, simply because our busy and complicated lives require more of it. And we’re under less pressure from each other, too. I don’t have to be everything my partners need, and they don’t have to pretend I am. Sharing responsibility for my partners’ emotional support and happiness leaves me with more energy and cheer of my own. In turn, I am surrounded by appreciation and love. No reason you can’t seek those deeper levels of honesty, trust, and support. Communication is key! My partners and I tell each other when we feel jealous or hurt or angry, and those feelings – and the reasons for them – are addressed immediately. My partners and I are never shy about asking to spend time together, and we regularly schedule dates. It’s necessary for us to do that because our time is in higher demand – but it ensures that we have time set aside for and dedicated to intimacy and romance, which helps our relationships space to grow and blossom, even within monogamous relationships.
Poly Problems Not everything is perfect in poly-land, of course. If we follow our instincts to love
more than one person, it only makes sense that those instincts would lead us to other emotions too. Jealousy isn’t absent from poly relationships, nor is insecurity. Quelling those troublesome emotions is important to keeping relationships healthy, but ignoring or downplaying them is the opposite of resolving them. Communication returns to the main stage here, as making sure you and your partner(s) are on the same page is vital to preventing and calming the “mind weasels” that leave us thinking negatively! Talking about your unhappy feelings helps you and your partner(s) to understand the allowing you to take action to prevent them. have is how to tell others about their relationship style. Although polyamory is becoming more and more prevalent, the word and the idea just aren’t in most folks’ vocabulary. We use the phrase
community does, and the reactions from our families and friends can be homosexuality, even though there’s nothing wrong with it and it doesn’t approve of polyamory, despite those same things being true. I’ve “come out” to both of my parents. My father asked over and over again why it didn’t bother me that my boyfriend was married to someone else. My mother said, word for word, “What will the neighbors think?!” – both good and bad, usual and unusual – made me more comfortable be happening not only within your relationships, but outside them as well. Hiding who you are can only hinder your success – because baby, you are anything but boring. Show the world your true colors, whatever they may be. The things that make us unique are the things that make us beautiful.
Hopefully, Mom, the neighbors will think, “Hm, that’s odd.” They might do a little research and discover that nonmonogamy isn’t all that rare. Maybe they’ll think, “I can see how that could work for some people.” Maybe they’ll more companionship, and more intimacy. And maybe – just maybe – they’ll think about how it just might be right for them. (If you’d like to include the following, feel free! If it doesn’t work, no problem. I only suggest these books because they’re great, no need to push them at all.) To learn more about polyamory and other non-monogamous relationship styles, try the books The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, or Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino.
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’RE U O Y OW N K E W EM!* H T G TAKIN
Your Guide to Sexy Selfies [94] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
by: Julie Zantopoulos
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he guy you are talking to is begging you for some pictures to spice up his
He really likes you so of course you’ll send him some pictures! Maybe you don’t have a “special” guy but there are a few you are hoping to lure in with your feminine ‘assets.’ You can’t send just any pictures; they have to be your best pictures. Here are can’t do without.
; It’s all about the angle
You’re going to want to hold the camera high above your head (think of it attached to the halo up there) and straight down your body. This makes your breasts look fantastic, your belly look any circumstances, hold the camera at your navel and shoot upwards unless you’re in a great push up bra; even the perkiest
; Make - up tips
it. So what if you sleep in a pair of ratty boxers and T-shirt your your negligee, maybe let a nip slip, then hike it up to show your thighs and between the leg cleavage. You want to entice him to keep opening your images and if you send a full frontal nude
; Filter never more important than when you have stretch marks and negative! Who can see imperfections when your entire being is in shadow? He’ll be sitting there turning his phone and wondering if you are standing behind a shower curtain or maybe just being mysterious. Either way you know he’s going to be looking real him hook line and sinker. you took notes, bookmarked, or otherwise nodded in agreement you need to seriously assess your life! No, really, you do.
=
never classy.”
If you want a guy to date you, build a relationship with you, and “classy” you think they are) is not the way to got about it.
more rounded, and can give the appearance of being a full cup doing this you are insuring that he’ll be looking at the twins and he respects you, like he must to want to get to know you better, well with a dramatic smoky eye and a sexy red pout.
; Arch like a cat dipped in water Ever see a cat arch to what seems like impossible degrees just to avoid hitting the water? That’s what I want you to do on your bed to thrust your bare breasts in the lens’ face and then suck in your belly like you haven’t eaten or drank in 3 days. This will
TRY THESE:
Actually meet up face to face to talk and at the end of the date kiss his cheek only. Ask to see pictures of his pet, niece, yard, work, or anything but his junk. Set the precedent for appropriate photo sending. Remember the sexting 101 without sending nudes.
he’ll ever see it in real life. That is unless you frequently hang upside down over the edge of a bed-which, by the way, is a great sexual position for making your belly and boobs look fantastic.
Let him know that you’re a sexual person but with limits who expects to be treated like a lady.
; Teasers
your sins in Sunday’s Indie Confessional cause we all know you shouldn’t be!
If you do take “classy”sexy
Don’t go full Monty all at once, but know that eventually you’re gonna have to send THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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YOUR EX IS SO LAST YEAR! by: Ellen Ross 2014 is a great opportunity for everyone to start fresh and learn from the previous year’s mistakes, especially when it comes processes for some women is learning how to leave an ex in the past.
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hen it comes to leaving your ex-boyfriend baggage behind
for you, your friendships, and your future relationships. The best way to do this and moving forward. It might not be the easiest thing for you, but there are several
Why should you leave your ex in the past?
No one wants to be compared to an ex, even if it’s in a way that paints them as a better person than whomever you had to deal with before. There will be a lot less tension and arguments in a new relationship if you don’t bring up your ex.
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the more you rehash it and keep bringing it up to yourself, the more you will keep wrapping your mind around it. You cannot move forward with anything in life if you allow your mind to stay focused on the past.
We love you but we can’t stress enough a bad decision. If you don’t listen when your friends say that, the least you can do afterwards is to tell them they were right, and then stop dwelling on it. When it comes to rambling on and on about an ex, around your friends. It will become easier and easier each day! Even with all of that being said, it’s completely normal for you to feel lost and be overwhelmed at where to start in the whole process.
What steps should you take to put an ex behind you? Even in the worst case scenario, look at the positive from it. It can be looked at as a learning experience. If he was a jerk or did something to hurt you then make sure you tell yourself that you’ll never date a douche bag guy like that again! Hey, at least you know the warning signs! Another way to look at it, is the whole fact that you actually than never.
If you were hurt and never found closure, Writing a letter to someone that hurt you and not giving it to them, can sometimes still give you the relief you need to move on. Once you get to bitch someone out,
everything. Maybe all it takes for you is to just rip up photos you took of his lame ass! Whatever it is, do it, as long
It’s inevitable that you may run into an someone’s social media page, but you can’t react to it dramatically forever. Accept the fact that everyone moves on and as a human being, you’ll have to coexist in the same world (maybe even city) as your ex and his next girlfriend. Although it would be nice to send exes to an island far away so we never have to see or hear about them again, it’s not reality. So you just have to toughen up, be a badass bitch, and accept it!
Assign a trustworthy and patient friend to stop you every time you bring up your ex. Sometimes, it’s easier to keep ourselves in check if we have someone keeping an eye on us. Remember, practice makes perfect so the more you avoid bringing up an ex, the more it becomes second nature to not even think about him!
Some people have triggers that make them upset over someone from their past, so start by getting rid of as many reminders as you can. “Out of sight, out of mind” rings true here. Get a box and animals, clothing, pictures, and all that other shit that makes you think of your ex. Give it to someone to get rid of, or just pitch it yourself. It feels good and it’s a positive step towards a new fresh future. In the end it all comes down to the fact that life is too short to be stuck in the your future, so if you focus on moving forward right now, in the present, you’ll have a great New Year’s Resolution that I listed above. You’ll see how strong you are, how much ass you can kick, and how much better you deserve from here on out!
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Is it Cheating?! There is always some kind of debate when it comes to cheating. Is sexting with someone other than your partner considered cheating? What about if you go out dancing and rub up against a random guy a little roughly, and happen to enjoy it? We asked our readers to chime in on whether or not they consider the following acts, in fact, cheating. Where do you stand?
25%
46%
*Emotionally connecting with someone other than your partner
*Having a Work Husband/Wife
80%
19%
*Agree sexting is cheating
*Making up pet names for each other
18% *Masturbating to the thought of someone else
33% *Sleeping with someone else (without your partner)
11% *Stalking an ex on Facebook
82%
*Consider dry humping cheating
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18%
*Having a
*Waiting until your partner goes to sleep to answer texts from ‘friends’
*Pretending your partner is someone else while you’re shagging
*Meeting for lunch
90%
one or more people
9% *Talking to an ex on Facebook
someone without telling your partner
10%
* Talking to someone else about your relationship problems
*Agree that kissing someone else is considered cheating
he left because
YOU’RE AWFUL by: Julie Zantopoulos
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D
id you think that this
be all hand holding and coddling? Well you were dead wrong. We want to inspire you, motivate you, and help you lead the best year possible and that means being honest with you. We’re doing you a disservice if we tell you that you’re not doing anything wrong and allow you to continue making the same mistakes. If you see patterns or behaviors below that are all too familiar then he probably left because you’re awful.
Emasculating There is nothing that will lead a man to leave you like emasculating him. I’m not talking about asking him to hold your purse every now and again; this is about them for dinner. Not allowing a man to be a man, to take care of you, and thinking that allowing him to makes you weak will only push him away. Sure you’re a badass that can take care of herself but that doesn’t mean that you can’t allow him to care for you, too. It Don’t tell him to “man up” as though who he is isn’t enough.
Berating Him the man you’re in a relationship with. Tearing at him is just plain evil. This means underhanded comments about needing a haircut, insinuating he hit the gym or reminding him that the job he’s at wasn’t supposed to be a career. It’s taking it from helpful motivation to you have done the dishes or the laundry instead of gaming all day? Loser.” Verbal abuse wears on all of us and if you’re not
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treating him with respect, then it’s really no wonder he left your spiteful ass.
You’re Abusive All too often violence against men goes unreported. Men think they’ll be mocked if they complain about being hit by the woman they’re in a relationship with but in truth it’s just as wrong as a man hitting a woman. Our supposed “weaker” status doesn’t mean that hitting him is okay. So those slaps, punches, and hits, while maybe not hurting him the same way it would if he hit you, is still not okay. swat and striking out in anger. Getting angry and yelling is one thing but no man should tolerate being struck out of rage. If you’re hitting him then I’m glad he left you. Don’t ever think that he left because he couldn’t handle a strong willed woman; he left because you’re awful.
Jealous Jane The green-eyed monster is not attractive when it comes to a bold and secure woman. If you can’t trust your man throwing themselves at him then he’s not strong enough to be with you anyway. Your jealousy will most likely lead to you
smothering him, demanding he ditch his girl friends, and eye balling any woman who comes within 10 feet. Some guys they’re insane. It’s not sexy and it’s going to end up pushing him away when you all the time.
You’re a Selfish Bitch You love you and you want him to love you just as much, and tell you often, and show you even more. When you make everything about you, redirect the conversation to you, and refuse to listen to him and his problems, is it any surprise mean wanting all the attention, it’s also about not giving any. Despite what you may think you aren’t the center of the Universe and you shouldn’t be treated like you are either. If you expect him to bow to your every whim, be available when you want him to be, and otherwise cater to you, then you really are delusional.
Priorities: He’s Not One Sure he wants some of our time but you’ve him is just not a priority for you. When you make him feel like something you work into your To Do list instead of the man
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you love it won’t be long before he’s out the door. Can you blame him? In no way, shape or form, should he be the center of your world but he should be a priority in your life. You shouldn’t have to make time to be with him, you should want to. Spending time together is supposed to be mutually enjoyable but you can tell when somebody isn’t really ‘there.’ If you’re not present when you’re with him, checking your cell phone for social media updates and emails, then don’t be surprised when you look up and he’s gone.
Sex? What’s sex? You can’t even remember the last time that you had sex, or if you do remember, you can’t remember the last time you initiated it. It can get really easy to phone it in when it comes to sex in a relationship, adhering to a schedule and a play list of moves. When sex becomes scripted it becomes boring. When you start having boring sex, or no sex, it stands to reason that he starts to stray or leaves your negligent ass.
Neglecting Your Role I’m not talking about the traditional roles, making dinner, giving your man beer or rubbing his back after a long day. No, I’m talking about your role as a girlfriend, lover, friend and partner. When you are in a relationship you become a partner, a team member, in a journey together. When you check out and leave one person to carry all the weight it’s only a matter of time before they grow weary of the role. Nobody wants to feel alone in a relationship, like they’re the only one working to propel it forward. If you can go through this list and see even one of these qualities in yourself then you have some serious reevaluating to do. If you see 3 or more then you should probably be single until you or not a relationship is the right thing for you right now. If you see yourself in these and your man is still sitting next to you while you read this, then maybe it’s time to open up an honest dialogue about your satisfaction levels within the relationship.
Never Forget : A relationship should always bring out the best version of you and positively contribute to your development and blossoming as an individual.
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10 WAYS TO HIT ON A GUY by: Ashten Giardine
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xoxo it, Get irl! G
©iStock.com/alistaircotton
Ladies, it’s a jungle out there.
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e’ve all been there: out at a bar with friends when all of a sudden we come face to face one of the most attractive men we’ve seen in a while. In these situations, our friends always seem to have the same advice: than done when you're in a bar full of bodycon dresses. How about: "show your personality"? Which one? The drunk one, the serious one, or the funny one? Am
high school reunion. A group of us hung around the bar after the reunion was over and a guy I’ve known (and had a not-sosecret crush on) for years showed up. I was, I admit, hammered.
sports teams and that says you make terrible life choices as well.” And then I proceeded to compare stats, wins vs. loses and championships with this poor man. Why didn’t he call me? No idea.
A mutual friend waved me over to say hello to this extremely attractive crush of mine, and as I tried to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, I
NUMBER THREE: A LITTLE COMPETITON IS CUTE. JUST DON’T EMASCULATE THE POOR GUY.
a good impression. I said hello, hugged him and said (I’m not even joking) “pull your shirt down, hike up your skirt and buy him a beer.” I guess chivalry isn’t dead, right? Or, how about my personal favorite: “for the love of God, Ashten please don’t bully the poor guy with your excessive knowledge about sports!” Luckily for you, I have created ten ways to hit on a guy: brought to you by a girl who and wants to make sure you don’t make them, too. I’m comin’ in hot here, ladies.
NUMBER ONE: DON’T GET SO DRUNK THAT YOU CAN’T CONVERSATE. I was recently visiting my hometown in Southern California for my ten year
“I’m happy to see you but I’m drunk and bye. Also? Nice hair.” I think I patted his head, but I can’t be sure. And I stumbled away into the night for another vodka/cranberry to ease my pain.
NUMBER TWO: DON’T TRY TO FIGHT THE MAN YOU’RE HITTING ON ABOUT SPORTS.
I am the most competitive girl I’ve ever met. Teaming up with me for a game of any nature is not going to end well for you, or for the other team, unless we win. I was out at a bar with my best friend and we somehow ended up in a game of cornhole with two semi-attractive guys. My teammate was hung-over from the night before, and as you can imagine, was a little wobbly. He kept missing the target, which made me increasingly angry because I hate losing. After losing two games in a row, I looked at this guy and said: “Are you really this bad at cornhole or
I love sports. It’s a blessing and a curse when trying to hit on a guy. I met this guy, a great guy and a very handsome guy, who happened to have completely opposite taste in sports teams than me. I told him “you have horrible taste in
another partner faster than you can take another shot of whiskey! This doesn’t impress me one bit!” I left the bar alone, needless to say. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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NUMBER FOUR: GIVE COMPLIMENTS, AND KNOW HOW TO RECEIVE THEM. We women LOVE receiving compliments. too? Trust me; I was shocked when I found if a man is giving you a compliment it’s probably because he means it, therefore you should try to give one back. Guess who sucks at compliments? This girl. Here are some actual compliments I have given: “That shirt is so tight you look like you have muscles.”
Actually be nice when complimenting a man. They will genuinely appreciate it.
NUMBER FIVE: KEEP IT SIMPLE.
NUMBER SIX: SPILL A DRINK ON HIM.
the ocean on a ship with this guy for an entire week. There are only so many places to hide on a cruise ship.
This one is not for the faint of heart, ladies. It takes a lot of skill and charm to pull it
NUMBER EIGHT: TRIP IN FRONT OF HIM.
but thought I did one time when I was 21, young and possibly dared to do so by my friends. Things I have said after spilling a drink on a man, and immediately regretted: “Oops! Did I do that? I’m so sorry. You Crickets. I turned and ran because at that point, what is there left to do?
NUMBER SEVEN: PRETEND YOU ALREADY KNOW HIM. I was on a family cruise to Tahiti back in 2004, when I spotted a cute guy that I wanted to meet. I had no idea how to approach him, because hello, he was cute and I have a tendency to sweat in those situations. I came up with a genius plan: I would ask him if we went to the same community colOcean miles away from home this was a totally logical, normal and brilliant idea. There was no way this could go well.
One of my favorite quotes in the Harry “you have the emotional range of a teaspoon”. It’s true: most men do have the emotional range of a teaspoon. So, rather than force-feed him a spoon full of your emotions, keep it simple. A smile, a laugh, a simple joke: don’t overdo it.
I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, you go to Ventura College, right? I think you’re in my chemistry lecture.” Without missing a beat he said “I don’t see how that’s possible, since I’m from Oregon.”
I think you know what’s coming….. And then I was trapped in the middle of I was out with a friend’s younger brother one night and got a little too tipsy. For some reason, we both decided the best idea was for me to stay at his house. Upon arriving to his house, I started to panic: I had no idea where I was. Where was my car? How would I get home? How did I get so drunk? This was not a good idea. I had a full-blown anxiety attack right there in his living room. He excused himself, went to
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I discovered this gem by accident. I was out dancing with some girl friends in less than comfortable shoes. On our way out the door at the end of the night, I took a tumble in front of a group of guys. I bruised up my knee, ripped a hole in my pants and twisted my ankle. One of the guys helped me up, and low and behold we struck up a decent conversation. We ended up exchanging numbers, and hanging out a few times. A little advice: if he helps you up after you trip, he’s automatically a gentleman and therefore potentially worth your precious time. If he laughs at you, he’s a douche bag and you should spill a drink on him--on purpose.
NUMBER NINE: ASK HIM WHAT TIME IT IS. Are you wearing a watch? Who cares! Those are minor details and we don’t care about those, especially if he’s cute. Just make sure you have a comeback if he realyou out on it, which I may or may not have thought about while using this tactic. And, when all else fails:
NUMBER TEN: USE ESP. right? FYI: this is my tactic of choice. Good luck out there, ladies. May the odds ever be in your favor.
Signs Your Relationship May Need Help by: Marrie Lobel
You may think your relationship is solid as a rock; however, heavy lifting is required to go the distance. How do you know if your relationship can carry the load life will inevitably pile on? All may be bliss now but that doesn’t mean there aren’t signs of trouble ahead. By heeding the warning signs there will be no burden you can’t lift, together!
Too Good to Be True laugh at the same jokes. Serendipity found? Like they say…if it seems too good to be true, it probably is! Things may be fabulous No disagreements could be a sign you don’t know each other as wonder of intimate relationships is found in little imperfections. occur naturally with organic imperfections. If you lay around in awe of your perfect relationship, maybe it’s time to look below the surface for things you may not see or don’t want to see!
How You Doin’? Constantly taking your partners temperature may be a sign that is present but keeping thoughts and feelings close to their vest symptoms worsen, you may want your next question to be, “How WE doin’? “
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Life on Hold Not speaking of the future or making plans could be a sign that your partner’s checking out. The brashness of YOLO and boldness of being in the moment are trendy lifestyle mantras and make great memes but rarely generate a relationship with substance. Chances are, if your partner is living a life on hold and ignoring tomorrow, the end may be near. It’s not that your love doubts tomorrow’s arrival, rather they’re not sure options open makes for a great career path but a poor strategy for relationships!
The Brush Off You come home from a crappy day. The boss came down hard and the rain washed away your positive attitude. Feeling low and dejected you arrive seeking solace, only to be greeted with snark and dripping sarcasm. This is no time to pull punches. what’s up. Relationships are a place for
makes light of serious issues, it could be a to your feelings or troubles in your relationship may suggest they’re not all in or all there.
Sound of Silence We all get busy and don’t always have the time to go deep but if you’re the only one pursuing the art of conversation, the masterpiece that was once your love life may be smudged. It’s true that long discussions get less frequent over time but they should never totally evaporate. Discussions lubricate the soul and titillate the mind. The brain is the primary sex organ and without delectable dialogue there is no foreplay. If conversations are consistently cut to the chase, it’s time to bring the discussion to a new level.
The Good Ol’ Days yourself reveling in the past more than enjoying the present, it could be time for a reality check. Sure you had good times with your ex and hanging out with your besties at the clubs but your ex is an ex for a reason and the clubs, well, you were there
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looking for a mate! Reminiscing about the glory days has its place but if daydreams are stamped with, “wish you were here”, it could be a sign that you shouldn’t be where you are!
Holding You Back
Stuck on Repeat
leaving someone behind; it’s about having someone special to share the journey. If opportunity knocks and you refuse to answer due to your mate; resentment may be ringing next.
Your relationship has some issues… they all do. You’ve approached problems maturely, discussed in-depth, and sought solutions but nothing changes; boiling relationship has become a twisted remake of Groundhog Day, chances are someone’s not listening or worse, not trying. Unless a lifetime of do-overs is your thing, it may be time to push stop!
Cruisin’ on Auto-Pilot Altitude? Check. Air Speed? Check. Rarely do relationships survive with little or choose to not rock the boat but everything requires maintenance. If you’re afraid to pop the hood or ignoring the check engine light, this doesn’t mean that problems don’t exist or will miraculously disappear. Take care when tinkering with matters of the heart and don’t disregard the toll that time creates.
Are you passing up in order to pacify? A healthy relationship should allow
Sex Appeal Takes a Back Seat granny panties replaced lacey thongs? If you’re no longer motivated to act, think or feel sexy, chances are romance has should never completely die. Now, the question you need to ask yourself is if your relationship is worth lighting a match or has it turned to ash?
If only… It would all be perfect, “if only”. Happiness depends on your partner changing; then there’s a problem!
Craving to Be Dominated by: Chiara Mazzucco
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Take Control of Me.
there’s no turning back.
control physically.
pleases. on.
you numb.
take you.
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Craving to Be Dominated
Craving to Be Wanted
Do you feel it? Do you feel your insides
Now let’s talk about the hunger in a man’s eyes.
to someone? Imagine his tight grasp on your hips and the commanding bite of his teeth against your soft skin. Doesn’t that spark something below the belt? craving is something all too familiar to women, especially strong, independent women - which let’s face it, makes up the majority of our readership. While some may enjoy the occasional spanking and others need the full-blown vivid part of the fantasy, no matter how submissive of a role you play. You set the limits, allow the dominant to nudge them gently, and still, the experience is equally yours.
Our evolutionary instincts bind us to this animalistic need, and it’s evolution itself that deems the male the dominant gender. We crave the hunter, the manly man because that’s what our genetic makeup is programmed to look for to ensure our genes’ survival. There’s a fundamental truth about the role evolution plays in sexual attraction, a truth that draws out our innermost animal and that can’t be ignored when discussing sex.
The moment your eyes meet, your heartbeats quicken and your breath shortens, and you know he feels the same. Make this man your social equal, say a colleague or a fellow board member. That moment when your eyes lock and you’re alone, he wants you. If you were to be equally as aggressive, it’d be about wanting each other, but the fact you surrender yourself to him makes the entire situation about him wanting you. You are the desired object and he gets to play with you and do as he pleases until you walk back out of that door. Variations and Social Dominance We’re not all 50 Shades of Grey, not to mention that some of us still enjoy extending social dominance into the bedroom and taking all the control. There are women who occasionally enjoy being manhandled – you know, pick me up and put me against the wall and maybe tug my hair a bit, kind of thing. Then there are women who want it all: hands tied to the bed, leather, whips, and toys.
This Year’s Dare than our evolutionary instincts. You’re now a working mom, a CEO, or a small-business owner. Maybe you’re the breadwinner in the house, or maybe you don’t even have time for a relationship. You’re no longer just a walking, talking state of fertility; logic and reason have taken over and you no longer fall pray to what your ancestors may have otherwise been attracted to. In the world we live in today, we all have a lot more control over our lives than our ancestors did. We have dreams, passion, and talent, and most importantly, we have the drive to put them all together and make them come to life. You may be craving to be dominated simply to please the animal within.
This year, we dare you to explore your sexuality. That’s right, we went there. A Whether you’re in a committed relationship or single, explore your fantasies and start a conversation with yourself. What turns you on? What are you selfconscious about that may be holding you back from letting go? Relinquishing control in the bedroom isn’t necessarily about letting him tie you up and drop hot wax onto your chest; it can be as simple as sitting on a piece of furniture with your legs spread apart. Control is subjective. This year we dare you cases consumes you, and we dare you to let it go. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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8
Things You Shouldn’t Do On a Date! by: Tara Merry
I hate dating. I hate it with the level of distain I reserve for people who complain about
M
y intense hatred started at 15. A guy from English class asked me out. In a move that can only be described as ‘stalking’, I found out where he lived, got on my bike and rode past his house no less than 27 times. When I decided he had the yard of a man I might consider closed-mouth kissing, I went home, got ready and convinced myself I was too sick to attend our date. Ten years later my stalking techniques have improved but my phobia of dating has not. Welcome to my world, and enjoy my advice on what NOT to do on your date.
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Don’t Agonize Over Food I have been guilty of this too often; I have even researched the restaurant we’re headed to so I can check their menu to predetermine what I can eat for maximum adorableness. FYI, Spaghetti Here’s the thing; never, in the history of the world, has a guy gone on a date ordered a lasagna AND garlic bread so there’s no way am I being seen in public with her again’. If food selection is the only reason you’re getting a second date you have a lot more to worry about than if it’s acceptable to order fries AND steak.
Don’t take this the wrong way; I’m not advising you to turn up in sweat pants and you should still consider brushing your teeth before you leave the house. I don’t know how to spell this out to you without, well, actually spelling it out: This means spending hundreds of dollars getting ready is not going to magically erase the image he already has of you. It shouldn’t have to either, he already likes you!
Don’t Mention That Ex
Whether you’re playing a game of I have never or loudly exclaiming how much you love doggy style, the moment you mention sex your date will visualise you in that situation. And making accidental promises about your sexual prowess can make the actual act disappointing,
It’s Not A Job Interview No one wants to feel like they’re being interviewed. As important as it is to
This shouldn’t need to be said, but considering the amount of dates I’ve gone on where I’ve been used as a makeshift therapist to rant about an ‘evil’ ex, I think this warrants a bullet point; don’t mention your ex.
prior convictions, take a pause and think about your friends; you didn’t need to interview them for a position in your life, did you?
Insulting your ex will raise the question of why you stayed together, while saying you’re still friends will raise the question of if you’re still in love with him. Those are too many questions for a date, so until you get past the ‘need to lie’ stage just pretend you ex never existed.
Normal conversations stop and start; go with it instead of panicking and asking
No Sex Talk! Talking about sex is great; it is genuinely one of my favourite pastimes. Sometimes I consider having sex purely so I can talk about it afterwards. In truth, I may like talking about sex more than I like having sex. With that said, you shouldn’t talk about sex on a date, like ever.
interview
you!
Kisses Aren’t Mandatory
passion isn’t there.
Asking
her from reacting with a little too much enthusiasm. They’ve been together for 4 years and she’s now forced to choke
questions
The perfect date always ends with a kiss,
©iStock.com/g_studio
Worrying About How You Look
Maybe he’s nervous or maybe he has a cold sore, either way sometimes the kiss doesn’t happen. Don’t linger in his car waiting for some mouth loving; a few minutes can turn a goodnight into an attempted hostage situation very easily. So don’t expect a kiss, if it happens, great. If it doesn’t, blame the cold sore.
stops
there’s an awkward silence.
Don’t Lie I know it’s hypocritical for me to tell you to not to lie when I just told you to lie about your ex, so instead I will say this; lie sparingly. We tend to be on our best behavior on dates, which means we listen to and remember more details than we would in a normal conversation.
Stop Overthinking I once convinced myself a guy ended things with me because I fell over middate and had to sit through the whole evening with a rip in my jeans. In hindsight, he was just a jerk and my fall had nothing to do with it. on dates. The truth is, if he likes you he doesn’t care how you looked, what you ate or how many times you fell over, he likes you for you!
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by: Chrystal Rose
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Women are complex beings, which
doesn’t necessarily need a man; she simply wants one in her life. That’s just badass.
complexity is something to embrace in that we have so many moods, emotions and moving parts. As Indie Chicks, we’re all these things and day’s ass as though we were in a video game on a special ops mission.
•
Have their own money and work for it
•
Allow a man to support her lifestyle
Be Vulnerable can be vulnerable with him and still manage to be strong. It’s important to share yourself and your feelings and it’s important to allow him to feel like he’s needed in some ways. While you to be there for emotional support.
I’ll be real; men are bored easily. They’re afraid of the mundane, of routine. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together 5 years or 5 minutes, keeping them interested is no small accomplishment.
•
Let their man take care of them emotionally/mentally
•
Dump all their negative feelings and emotions on him constantly Get mad at him for not responding the way you want
Badass 101
•
Live for You
There are always things a woman will desire to change about a man, but he can only change himself. He’s a man and he’s going to say and do stupid things. It’s perfectly reasonable to request small changes, or express what you want and leave it up to him
decent guy he won’t be a fan of that. When you are doing your own thing, regardless of him, he can’t help but see the badass in you. • • • •
Make time for their friends
•
Neglect their friends for their man, or neglect their man for their friends Let their passions, hopes, dreams and goals fall to the wayside Do whatever they want, period.
• •
Have goals that don’t center around a man Do what they want but are respectful of their relationship
Don’t Depend backing yourself into a corner. Yes, men marry these kinds of women but it gets old fast. I’m not saying to go full blown feminist in the sense where you won’t let him treat you like a woman by opening doors or paying for dinner. However, having something of your own will create a sort of pride within yourself that you’ll feel great about. Independent women are just more attractive.
Accept Him
inner self he has going on, that’s him, that’s his personality. His passions, his hopes and dreams, whether or not you agree or think it’s the right way to go about life, it’s who he is. • •
Accept a man for who he is Are okay leaving him if he isn’t able to change deal breakers
• •
Give ultimatums
they know it and there’s nothing badass about that. If you’re help you get on the right path to gain it. It’s important to be patient with yourself, if you don’t feel good now, it won’t happen overnight. You need to “fake it til you make it” and act as if until you get there. • •
Have patience while they are actively working on what’s
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• • •
Show him how insecure you are
Switch it Up Like I said, men get bored easily and if you’re all “what you see is what you get” they’re going to get bored. If you’re constantly evolving as a person and trying new things it’ll be tough for and let others out in small increments, like the other language be in awe of you and how much he didn’t know. • right away • •
Try new things.
• • •
Tell him everything Refuse to challenge themselves Stay stagnant
Switch it Up, Sexy Time Every couple tends to get in a sort of sexual routine. You know exactly where his elbow is going to land, how your back will isn’t anyone’s fault really, if anything it’s a sign that you two are comfortable with each other enough to know each other’s bodies and what works. Now change it and make it exciting again, for both of you. • • •
• •
Ask their partner about their sexual wants Aren’t afraid of trying something new like wearing heels to bed, initiating in the kitchen or attempting a new position to spice things up. Allow their sex life to go stale Do things they don’t feel comfortable with just to please him
accepting, independent woman chasing down her own dreams while being vulnerable and changing things up, how could he not see how much of a badass you are, every day?
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Parent Trap
the
[Finding time for sex when you have kids] by: Dani Walker
©iStock.com/monkeybusinessimages
T
weeks. A morning quickie every few days became the extent of our sex life. Weeks had passed and I couldn’t remember the last time we had sex that wasn’t wham bam, thank you ma’am. Aunt Flo was visiting and thanks to her, my mind immediately turned into doom and gloom mode. Obviously my relationship was (majorly) f-ed. I cried. Sane me had left the building. Aunt Flo and her doom and gloom machine had taken over. I panicked. I tried calming my mind by remembering the last time we had taken time out of our day to have a meaningful romp in the sheets. I couldn’t remember. It had been that long. I cried some more. We had a deal; we would never become that couple. You know, the ones who never have sex. Well shit, looks like we joined the club. The reality of that acknowledgment
“I need something sexy but it has to have support. Small or not, these ladies no longer stay up on their own,” I said to the Victoria’s Secret associate. She didn’t laugh. She did bring me straight to the one piece of lingerie my kid-less self would buy in a heartbeat. It was perfect, sexy, lacy, and seductive. Even better, the push-up padding would support my small, yet problematic tata’s. I mumbled a quick “XS” to the associate.
life. We did it frequently, we had fun, and because we let life become an excuse. We all the time. Somewhere, and at some point, that stopped. We let life interfere in the one part of our relationship we thought was impenetrable. I was shocked, was, this was not us. We are the couple who years later still hold hands and laugh and enjoy the hell out of each other’s company. We are the couple who run to the bedroom when the kids are outside eating popsicles, laugh when something we try goes horribly wrong, and whisper I love you to each other every night as I curl up in his arms. myself in Victoria’s Secret, joking about my small tata’s and staring at the most wonderful piece of lingerie the practical 30-something me decided not to buy. Sexy lingerie phase ended a long time
the day, promising nights full of sex only to end up passed out in bed by 10:30. We would make up for it by having a morning quickie before we went on with our daily routine. The quickies became consolation not doing the deed the night before. I left Victoria’s Secret with a sheer baseball shirt, matching bra and panties. Simple. Sexy. Fun. Flirty. Me. Us. We had bonded. It felt like us. We’ve been back to our normal since that night. Relationships are hard work. No matter how much you put into it, there will always be ups and downs. I never thought we would be sucked into a sex void. We took our sex life for granted, ignoring the THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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home date nights went from once a week to once in awhile and we stopped playing backgammon. We loved playing backgammon together. We stopped cuddling on the couch while the kids were sprawled around us and what’s worse we stopped laughing at the We fell into the trap of settling for what we were becoming instead of demanding the return of who we were. Finding time to spend alone with your partner is tough, especially is crucial. So we talked. We agreed the wham bam, thank you ma’ams had to end. We agreed we hated being members of that club and swore we would never attend another meeting. We agreed we missed us. excuse away another sexless day. In order to get frisky behind your Here are a few tried and true ways to bring the sex back into your life... kids to bed and make older kids stay clear of the family room unless someone is bleeding. It is an at home and ‘kidless’ date. the latest Spongebob episode? Take advantage of that time. Lock yourselves in the bathroom, stay quiet and enjoy the two minutes
drugstore, write something cute or funny in it and put it on your partner’s pillow. It is a sweet surprise that will mean something to them.
something new.
each other.
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Q
©iStock.com/GeorgeDolgikh
Q:
WHAT’S THE ONE
SECRET TO KEEPING HIM INTERESTED?
by: Chiara Mazzucco THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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A:
Dating can be an extremely intricate dance between two people who are attracted to each other - at the very least, that’s what the beginning is like. You want to gauge how interested he is in you, which is probably why 12 Signs He’s Into You is one of the most popular articles on our website, and you want to be able to show him you’re interested too, without scaring
new will always fade and while a lot of those extras help maintain the excitement, they’re only meant to amplify what’s already there. If you show up butt naked in a peacoat and he’s not into you, he may
about a woman who has her own life going on without the constant need of a man and
to get rejected the second.
Unfortunately, there are many women out there who let their emotions get the best of them and in many ways, that is the reason men freak out and bolt. There is nothing wrong with emotions, and you should
There’s also something to be said about pretending to be into what he’s into. Don’t do it. You can be vocal about it not being your favorite thing and doing it that one time to make him happy, but if you straight up pretend then you are enrolling in a lie for the rest of your relationship and believe it or not, he will call bullshit.
driven, and focused, and guys see that as a breath of fresh air.
and appreciates that part of you, but there is a limit. Freaking out, back-to-back texts asking for his whereabouts, and night long interrogations about his guy nights is we’ve all done it.
Here’s the Secret: Get a Life So let’s assume he is into you and you start seeing each other. How do you keep him interested?
One of the most accurate pieces of advice I got when I was young, on the topic of relationships, was that dating was a game of push and pull. Now, that doesn’t mean
Sure, You Could... You could go out and buy the latest ones right by the checkout at the grocery store. You could run through all 50 Things simultaneously do a plank and juggle cherries and ice cubes in your mouth.
You Could Also... • a new sex move every time you shag. • in life and support everything he does from shaving to making it to work on time every day. • Sext him • Have dinner ready for him with a beer every night • Shower him with season tickets to see his favorite team • Wait for him in lingerie and a peacoat on a random weeknight • • Join his political party and help him
has to be a balance of opposing forces in order for it to work. You can’t keep pulling and expect not to combust. You also can’t keep pushing and expect the distance not to take its toll, which is why playing hard to get has its limit. It’s a constant pushing and pulling - of being interested in sharing a life, yet maintaining your own at the same time and giving both equal amounts of respect. clear: I’m well aware this doesn’t work for every couple, especially because believe it or not, there are people out there who relationships. This article isn’t for them, anyway. The truth is, life is about more than make him your entire world, you’ll have something to fall back on if things head south. It’s not a pretty statistic but 99% of the romantic relationships in your life are not meant to last forever.
choice •
work, they’re only temporary. The truth is, the excitement of being with someone
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The Anti-Cling is So Hot intact acts as a cushion in case things get rough, there is something so attractive
and it’s easier to fall into that downward spiral when you allow your relationship to consume you. Ironically, the moment business is the moment he comes to you looking for your attention.
But Really, It’s About You attractive, and knowing they don’t have to answer for their whereabouts every because you’re focusing on you. You shouldn’t worry about staying at the forefront of his thoughts, just make the time you have together count and he’ll think of you. I promise. Sometimes it helps thinking about the roles being reversed. How would you feel if you were his entire life? Not romantically, but literally, he called you 24/7 and wanted you to devote every free minute of your day to being with him. Would your panties drop at the thought of him waiting on your doorstep every single night? because they don’t give a shit. They have their lives, they have their friends, and even if they text us throughout the day, they are still out doing something. Focus on you, girl. After all, you are building the best version of you and the staircase to your dreams, aren’t you?
5
Things to Do Outside of Your Relationship to Make it Better by: Chrystal Rose
Chances are if you have a great relationship it didn’t get that way from the two of you being and I spend an exorbitant of time together, there are plenty of things we do outside our relationship, which inadvertently makes it stronger. 1. Have Friends, Real Ones If you’re one of those girls that ditch her friends when she gets in When I have any sort of problem to whine about or accomplishment one. Having friends doesn’t mean you’re obligated to a weekly “girls night” with your single and otherwise friends where you don a skimpy dress and go clubbing. It’s simply important to have a person or two you can trust outside of your relationship bubble. A true friend is someone you can spend time with at any time of day, in any setting. If you’re only doing the club scene with these people, they may not exactly be solid friend material. Even though my best friend Melissa and I are incredibly busy, we generally tend to meet up every other week or so to “download.” or have a play date for our dogs—we make it a priority to see each other. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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It feels so good to have someone outside not only on my love life but also on my life period. Start examining your current relationships and if there’s someone whose friendship is valuable, make more of an
2. A Fitness Regime Your body isn’t just your temple; it’s his too. You should absolutely want to look good for you, but why not look good for him too while you’re at it? When I started to focus on my personal about myself both mentally and physically. I enjoyed my workouts, the endorphins as I started to love what I saw in the mirror.
can start to fade. Alone time is essential to
We all hit lulls in our relationships and dedicating a corner of your life to your physical well-being can also really rejuvenate your sex life. The surge in
loves. If you aren’t able to have the
Start small. An overnight hotel stay in a nearby city with your best
5. A Passion
it. You can go in the bedroom to read or ask him to go watch his show elsewhere so you can set up an easel to paint. Whatever works.
If you are not in love with something outside of your relationship, you’re doing it wrong. It’s perfectly okay for your
Get a gym buddy. If one of your friends has a routine you want, ask for her help. Now you’re doing both the gym and the friendship thing.
4. Get Some Traveling Pants
your moon and stars—but not the entire landscape.
3. There’s No Time, Like Alone Time
traveling without them might have you
you’re looking might turn you into an animal craving satisfaction, and he’ll be happy to deliver.
At The Indie Chicks we always talk about your “sense of self.” There’s that version of you that wakes up, completely clean and essentially unlabeled. It’s the you before you become a wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, employee—whatever. That’s the person you need to foster and care for, that’s the person you need to have alone time for. The moment I know I’ll have a night to myself I can feel the possibilities start to swim around in my head. Maybe I’ll work on some art, catch up on writing or just my puppy. Whatever I decide it’s 100% just for me and I’m thrilled to have it. When you spend all your free time with
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Not everyone has the opportunity to go on multiple exotic trips a year with their
is lying by the pool and doing absolutely minutes. He can take or leave travel, while I feel like I might die if I can’t up and go whenever I get the itch. It could be a weekend trip to the beach with girlfriends or a week long European dream vacation, either way you’re having sensory experiences outside of your relationship that you can share with them later. Travel rounds you out, gives you perspective and miss my man when I’m gone, but I love coming home after some time away and getting the special “welcome home” treatment.
parts of you that you might not know exist. Not to mention it’s sexy as hell to see someone actively thriving in his or her talents. Whether it’s a hobby, a business, philanthropy, travel, cooking, writing or creating art, you need to share your love. Fueling your passion for something else won’t take away from the passion for your one, right? Listen to yourself. Take that alone time and focus on what it is that you love to do. Then start taking steps in the direction to pursue it. It might not make logical sense that you and your mate can get closer together by doing things outside of your relationship, but even just giving a couple of these a solid and do wonders for a struggling one.
Why & How to Start a Flirtationship okay, maybe not legendary but it’s well known. Flirtationships are good for the self-esteem, for that vixen inside that is too often kept on a short leash, and for the committed woman who wants to relive those days of “possibilities.”
by: Julie Zantopoulos
©iStock.com/iofoto
It’s more than a friend and less than relationships for women (and men) in the know. It’s your ‘work husband,’ the delivery guy that you smile at all the time, and the dude at the gym that seems to always gravitate to the machine next to brings to life that saucy wench inside and makes her writhe with satisfaction. When you are in a relationship, married, or haven’t been single in so long that you forget what dating is like, it’s nice to
I’m not talking sexting, I’m not talking illicit meet ups and sexy picture sharing, I’m simply talking about being playful with somebody other than your partner. Only you can decide but I don’t believe it is. There is no emotional connection, no physical touching, and no intentions to do anything but make pet names and each other smile. damned busy to even think about an active dating life. You know, going out of the house, moving away from the computer,
and actually speaking to a member of the opposite sex. The horror. Well, that doesn’t mean that I don’t still want to get
relationship, or too busy to date, and just
into play. I have a couple guys in my phone that I can text at any time for a bit of a pick me up. I can be silly, sweet, sexy, and playful. Suddenly I go from wanting to pull out my hair to grinning like a
naughty talk.
It’s not just about having somebody to boost your self-esteem, you can do that all on your own because you’re a badass like that. No, it’s most about connecting with that frisky chick who loves to glance out the corner of her eye, lick that lollipop, and smirk; about embodying your inner goddess. This is about you, a relationship purely about making you remember how desirable you are.
is key and it’s your job to not cross boundaries you aren’t comfortable with when it comes to pictures (honestly sexy
Some people enjoy a bit of naughty but I think it can be a slippery slope for a woman in a relationship unless she’s sure she can handle it. If you’re single and want to get friskier then hey, go for it. Just be clear with your man (or woman) and explain what your needs and expectations are. It may not be a ‘relationship’ and yes, miscommunications. What’s stopping you? is, why you need one, and how to get one; what’s stopping you? Chances are if you
This part is oddly simple. You’d think that it could be hard are everywhere. Whether you are single or in a relationship there are men that surround you in your daily life who would
you’re avoiding it because you feel guilty. It’s too one-sided, you’re in a relationship, it wouldn’t feel right…the list of excuses goes on and on. Only you can say if a
all you have to do it open the door. Flirt.
to spice up your day-to-day routine but I challenge you to do something outside
will catch on.
year.
for them as it is for you so why wouldn’t THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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« Business Chick
So You Wanna Make Money Blogging? by: Angela Jordan Somewhere between starting a business, punching the clock for out what the hell you wanted to be and more importantly you wanted to be in life, you stumbled upon this “blogging” thing. Or maybe you just knew in the core of your soul that you wanted to be a blogger “when you grew up” like some people know they want to be a doctor, or nurse, or stripper. (Do people plan to be that? Okay, maybe not.) However you came to blogging doesn’t matter. What matters isyou fucking love it. (I knew you are staring down the possibility that this, this silly blogging thing that started out as just a hobby, could actually pay your bills.
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$
You could be like me and spend years error, or you could just keep reading. If you do, you’ll already be ahead of the game, because I’m about to give it to you. I’m about to hit you with this knowledge. I’m about to . Okay
$
Life Changing Principle #2: The Big Secret
I want to teach you exactly how I grew my And it really had nothing to do with how
Write a business plan. Write a marketing plan. Write a content strategy. Write out exactly what you want to accomplish, and exactly how you are going to go about
Research your audience, your industry; business and marketing plans.
little more than just pocket change from your blog. The question is: are you ready?
Life Changing Principle #1: Getting Down To Business any real money (and I know you do) from your blog then you have got to stop thinking about your blog as a blog and think about it as a business.
willingly came to read my blog and signed up for my email wanted to be marketed to. They were looking for answers, searching for solutions. And though some of my blog and there, they needed more.
hat’s it.
$ Any time money is exchanged; it’s a business transaction. So congrats girlies
I made a little pocket change. You know, just enough to justify keeping my blog going. I struggled trying to pump out more content than I had time to create,
started your own business. And now it’s time to think like a business owner, not just a blogger.
fund my blog.
This means, my fellow blogger hopefuls, that you have to show up every damn day, because this is not a hobby. This is not amateur hour; this is the show. And you either put up, or shut up. And if you are too busy talking, or blogging when the inspiration hits you (rolls eyes), then you still aren’t a pro.
a blog post or an email, I gave them
You are still an amateur. And the last time I checked, amateurs don’t make money. owner by the power invested in me... blah, blah, something like that, there is one really thing you now need to do: Figure out how you are going to make this money! If you are not selling something, if no money is exchanging hands, if you have no customers-then you’ve got no business. It’s a tough transition to make when you
There are a few basic ways that you
marketing, sponsorship, product reviews, etc. All great. And all of these ways require a huge and engaged following. Which is possible to grow, no problem.
So I created products and services to
or service that is not centered around what your customers need is not worth creating.
Life Changing Principle #3: Everything Can Be Learned And Taught
You need to have a strategy on how you will build your audience. Thankfully for you and me, we have social media. And way of gaining momentum and building your audience.
When you focus on solving problems, adding value, and giving to your audience,
Learn, Learn, Learn, And Then Learn Some More The best way to learn about business is to start one. Same applies here. The best ways to learn about how to create, launch, and sell products and a service is to just DO IT.
I read a book a week about business,
You’re in luck because everything you need to achieve a blog the produces cash can be taught. You’ll need these essential elements:
on my toes. I also study, like I’m in school, about my industry. I study copywriting. I study marketing. I study SEO. I study because, if I am going to truly serve my audience, I have to be good, and always getting better. Hire help. One of the most pivotal moments for me when transitioning from blogger to business owner was hiring a business
and I mean a self-hosted Wordpress blog. If you don’t know what this means, Google it. As a matter of fact Google everything (how homework gets done at my house).
Life Changing Principle #4: You Always Get Out What You Put In
I use Aweber, but started with Mailchimp which is free. Go for it.
you can automate.
Tip: focus on
Meaning you have to work. It’s not enough to want it. It’s not enough to have a plan. You have to a show up and you have to work for it. Can you create an income from blogging that will do more than just pay for an extra pair a cute heels? Yes, you can. So own your business, work like a boss, only option. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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occupations that are “safe”. We trade in our tiaras for health insurance and lemonade Whenever I speak in front of a group of women and ask “How many of you are where you thought you would be in your career?” ninety percent of them start looking around the room laughing. How
Doing it For Yourself Why sticking to a career you hate to please others is the worst choice you’ll make this year.
possible and end up sitting behind a desk others create lives we only dream about?
“Don’t let people talk you out of your dreams. You know what you are meant to do, so do it.” My second job out of college was working for a local chamber of commerce. I was twenty-two years old and clueless to what a chamber of commerce actually did. My father advised me to take the job because I would meet a lot of people and it would lead me to bigger and better things. Fortunately for me, I absolutely loved what I did and spent eight years of my career there. While I didn’t know this at the time, I was very much an intrapreneur (someone who acts like an entrepreneur while working programs and initiatives when I saw a need for them and worked nights and weekends as if it was my own business. Somewhere
by: Kate Volman
What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s a question we get asked over and over again as children. We are taught to believe we can do whatever we put our minds to. The possibilities seem endless and the encouragement we get from our family, teachers and friends is empowering. Somewhere along the way, however, our artists or writers are no longer looked at as attainable, but rather impossible. Instead of asking what we want to be, our parents and teachers started encouraging us to
ignore this overwhelming feeling and continue to pursue my successful career because it was the safe thing to do. I was often complimented on doing a great job and regularly told that this career was perfect for me – even that one day I would Since everyone else seemed to believe that I was on a successful career path I tried to convince myself to stick with it, but I knew that I could not continue on the path simply because it was what others saw for me. that it was time to make a change. How do you know if you are pursuing a career just to please others? Ask yourself:
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entirely on what other people will think? Am I going through the motions at work and catch myself staring at the clock just Is there another career path that I think about every day and can’t help but believe I would rock at it? If you answered yes to these questions, it’s time to slip on your stilettos and start strutting down a new path. You’re an Indie Chick; you’ve got this! exhausting. It’s hard to stay focused when all you keep thinking about are the other opportunities you could be pursuing. Are you ready to be bold and make a change? I’m so proud of you! It’s a big move so here are a few tips to help you along the way.
Find a Mentor A former business partner of mine always says that success leaves clues. If someone career you want, learn how she/he did it. Hearing about the journey others have had to get to where they are is a huge steps. They’ve endured challenges and overcome obstacles that you can’t even imagine so take advantage of the inside scoop that others are willing to share.
steps to achieving your goal. I continued to work my full time job for eight month after starting my business. It wasn’t easy, but those bills weren’t going to pay themselves.
Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable. year in business. I felt like I was learning something new every day and often had those “what the heck am I doing” moments. stop feeling so overwhelmed and anxious about everything not going as planned. Nothing went according to plan actually, and learning to love the journey is all part of stepping out and pursuing the kind of career you want.
Believe In Yourself and Your Ideas Do you ever talk yourself out of an idea? You come up with something brilliant, but quickly have a list of reasons why it won’t work and you shouldn’t do it. Sometimes you just need to give things a shot and see what happens. With the power of the Internet and technology we have more resources than ever before to implement our ideas. We can start a business, create a new product that catapults us to rock
Don’t Quit Your Day Job Deciding it’s time to make a move and actually doing it can be scary. It’s also completely empowering and exciting. When we believe in our idea and are so passionate about it, we want to dive right in. While motivation and passion must be there, it’s also important that we set ourselves up for success. Quitting your job to start a business or look for a new opportunity when you have no actual plan move. Decide what you want to do and create a plan that will allow you to take small
that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Don’t Be Afraid to Fail One of my favorite quotes from Seth Godin is “The only thing worse than starting something and failing…is not starting something.” If you start pursuing another career and it doesn’t work out, great! Try again. Still not a success? Awesome; next! Each experience brings us to another point in our lives and together they help us become who we are meant to be.
“You don’t need to You just have to keep moving forward.” It’s funny how opportunities seem to arise the second we become more clear about what we want (and don’t want) and are open to possibilities we otherwise wouldn’t be. We are all meant to do something with our lives that leaves a lasting legacy. When we pursue a career just to please someone else, the gift that we are meant to leave this world, will never be opened. step towards the perfect career (the one that you choose) for you? You have a passion for a reason. It’s time to show the world what you’ve got.
YOU HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE. HOW WILL YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IT? THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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D A WRITER’S DREAM Most people think of winter, snow, power outages and being stuck indoors as just horrible but most people aren’t writers. Winter is a writer’s dream come true. Winter, unlike other months, offers a build in excuse to be a “hermit writer”. Nobody wants to be inside writing when they could be outside soaking in the rays and swimming in the ocean but during the winter we can drop the guilt and hole up in our writing cave.
WINTER IS ROMANTIC There is something inherently sexy and romantic about winter even though everyone’s bundled up and not showing much skin (at least not here in the days brings an air of intrigue and mystery that combined with comfort food, wine, romance and romance novel settings.
by: Julie Zantopoulos
A
s a writer I have the distinct advantage of being single without children, providing ample time to dedicate to The Indie Chicks and to writing. Even still, I hardly have time to work on my novel and more writing during the winter though, and I bet you do too. Here’s why winter is the perfect time to start that novel you’ve been dreaming about writing.
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What the hell does this have to do with writing and writers? No matter what season your novel is taking place in, chances are you need to get into the mind of a spy trying to seduce his mark and just can’t better way to write those emotions than to immerse yourself in the feelings?
WRITING IN A BUBBLE Writing is a solitary act. Even if you are writing a novel with the help of a writing
partner, much of the writing is done solo. In the end the person responsible for your work is you, you have to think it, create it, and write it. What invites you staying in conditions? The animals have it right, grab some groceries, fresh writing supplies and then hunker in for some seriously productive days. You have a built in excuse every time there is a threat of snow or bad weather to stay in and work on that novel. Can’t get away and hibernate in your writer’s den? There is nothing wrong with getting snowed in at a hotel and pretending for a night that you aren’t a mother, wife, girlfriend, sister, employee, etc. For that one night, allow yourself to just be you and just be a writer.
INSPIRATION ABOUNDS In the silence of the world as it stays warm that inspires a writer. The cleansing blanket of white snow, the smell of wood
sparking creativity. Add some family drama, the holidays, treacherous travel, and you’ve got a fantastic plot twist, overcome. The truth is that inspiration is everywhere if we just take the time to look, but winter’s slower pace gives us plenty of opportunities to do just that. I know it’s not just me to equate winter with hot toddy’s, mulled wine, whiskey, and spiked ciders. Winter is a fantastic time to sip some and write even more. It was Ernest Hemmingway who told you to “write drunk and edit sober”. Now, I’m not saying to get completely shit canned, just let loose a bit. Don’t worry about editing, grammar, and sentence structure. Take this chance to just that’s what editors are for after all.
have become famous writers while also being alcoholics, chances are you will not. Gone are the days where a writer could sit in a dark dank bar with a cigar, whiskey, and notebook and produce masterpieces. Well, for the most part. So, enjoy a drink or two but don’t let it become the only way you know to write.
IT’S AN INSIDE THING people aren’t outside doing a whole heck of a lot during the winter. With the exception of sledding, snowboarding/ tubing, and skiing most people just aren’t outside doing a whole heck of a lot in the winter. This leaves plenty of excuses to stay inside and write. Nobody wants to miss the fun but when there isn’t fun to be missed then that’s when you can really dedicate yourself to your writing. Just because you’re inside doesn’t mean you have to shut wintery wonderland, and allow the inspiration in. Avoid the winter blues by letting in plenty of sunlight, enjoying a brisk walk now and again and making time to see your friends and family. While winter is a great time to isolate and produce some serious work, it’s also a time to enjoy the holidays and loved ones. Remember to keep everything in moderation and everything in perspective. Winter can be a writer’s dream come true if you know what to do and how to do it. My advice, start writing and don’t stop! Set a timer and tell yourself to keep on task silence your ringer, and commit to the task at hand. If you take advantage of all winter’s writer advantages you’ll have plenty to show for the colder months come spring.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Your Social Media You.
PERSONAL BRANDING AND YOUR ONLINE PERSONA
M
any articles have been written on branding and platform, yet most people still have no idea what
by: Rachel Thompson
steady job who writes erotica, your online
from a book or blog post, but here’s a tip: add your links to your bio, then refer people there (i.e., check out my latest
you in your daily work life. Is a persona, then, a lie? No way! Each of us is multi-dimensional. We don’t only write one thing, think one thing, or eat one thing, right?
focused; 20% sharing personal links or content.
personal interests with a focus on sharing interesting content about those interests (i.e., news stories, blog posts, reviews, quips, etc.).
up of some sort. This is where being your authentic self comes most into play. If online you’re this sexy kitty who eats men for breakfast, yet you show to an event in a
sounds like a scary marketing Don’t drunk tweet – ever. Nothing can tactic and many people don’t someone on social media. Anything you have a marketing background write can and will be held against you in a -- so they slink away, hoping SOCIAL MEDIA court of social media. something will stick and they’ll Let’s break this down further, say, with gain a few followers or unearth Twitter. Many people have more than one REAL LIFE some business. Throw in the should be). You may have a personal No doubt you’ll meet up with social media term ‘persona,’ and their head (or account and a business account. You ‘friends’ at some point, in real life, whether explodes. for a work conference or a casual meetLet’s deconstruct so it’s not quite so scary.
YOUR BRAND VS. YOUR PERSONA
go over well with people’s expectations. no cursing, sex, politics, or religion. These
persona? Your brand is a marketing term that encompasses all you do to market and sell your product or service, whereas your persona is the person you present to your adoring public. So:
discussions which suit a personal account
You, the blogger/author/ businessperson. You, plus all your marketing activities.
to the social media world. How? Share articles (news, how-to’s – that you’ve written or by others you respect), quotes, photography, books you have enjoyed –
When marketing authors we always say holds true for bloggers, businesspeople, and even those who are on social media about YOU, not whatever you want to sell.
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are – if you’re a sexy hottie, be a sexy hottie. If you’re not, be your most comfortable
you are and what you do authentically, but
blog/book/service. Why? Seems obvious, but constant selfis considered spam by Twitter. If you wouldn’t do it in real life, don’t do it on
entire social media platform: your website/ blog, social media, even advertising (if you have a product or service). Your branding and your persona are tools to manage the expectations of your followers, nothing more. Listen, we can all spot a fake from a mile away. Even if branding and persona and social media still confuse you, remember this one tip: be your authentic self. That, more than anything else will increase your following and help you to connect with people on a deeper level.
+Read These [Now] Read now and ask questions later. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a 9 to 5er, or a kick ass new year. Enjoy our list of favorite must-reads! 1. Think and Grow Rich (original 1937 version) - Napoleon Hill 2. Education of Millionaries - Michael Ellsberg 3. 4 Hour Work Week - Timothy Ferriss 4. Tribes - Seth Godin 5. The Girls’ Guide to Building a MillionDollar Business - Susan Wilson Solovic 6. I Shouldn’t be Telling You This - Kate White 7. Stiletto Network - Pamela Ryckman, 8. #GirlBoss - Sophia Amoruso 9. The Success Princples 10. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey 11. The Magic of Thinking Big - David J. Schwartz 12. Renegades Write the Rules - Amy Jo Martin THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Do This & Get by: Chiara Mazzucco
Promoted
When it comes to making your dream career come true, you have one of two choices: venture out and do calls for it, stick around and join the race to the top. Although entrepreneurship has its own hurdles to surpass, the race is mainly with the individual. If the to work with others, you’re likely to be around a lot of competition; the race will welcome more runners. So how do you stand out?
Everyone Can Work Hard It’s easy to get frustrated when your hard work goes unnoticed, but I have some bad news for you: everyone can work hard. Though it should, working hard doesn’t actually entitle you to anything, it’s just a measure of your work ethic. Working hard is usually rewarded in some way, mostly through gold stars and mere recognition. works just as hard as you do and the two of you are up for a promotion?
How does big boss man tell you apart and how do you make sure he knows you’re right for the job?
Here’s the Secret: Take Initiative At every single job I’ve ever worked, be it and rewarded in some way. Even if there was no promotion up for grabs, and even if the reward was something as minimal as that person got rewarded.
of which will help and some of which will
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for a position, chances are that your good and bad qualities are about the same.
Most higher-ups want to make sure the department is handled with the least amount of worry and micro management on their end - though let’s face it, most micromanage anyway. They look for
someone with a great work ethic, who not only has great ideas, but is able to successfully execute them in the process. A real go-getter. your boss what the day to day will be like once you’ve gotten the position. You’ll take charge and focus on bringing your department up with you; that you won’t stop until it’s all executed as damn close to perfection as possible and that all facets of the job are taken care of.
Get Creative The more limited the job position, the harder it is to get creative when taking initiative - but that doesn’t mean you can’t! It may be something as small as emailing your boss to set up a meeting to discuss some ideas you have about propelling your department forward. full-blown campaign and presenting it at your next meeting. Take a day to put yourself in your boss’s shoes. What does he expect from people in that position, and how can role, but prove to him you’re the better match? How far can you push it without stepping on anyone’s toes? What’s never been done? What’s needed to be done that no one’s wanted to do? What needs to be addressed that has been overlooked in your department? Think outside the box because the more creative you get, the likelier your competitor won’t come up with the same idea.
Bonus Secret The truth is, you won’t always get the job you want because life will always throw curveballs your way. You mean the guy I was up against is the boss’s son? The second most valuable part of taking initiative is to never backtrack. Sure, you’ll be disappointed you didn’t get the job, but your work ethic, creativity, and go-getter attitude will never go unnoticed and the least that will happen is that it will be engrained in your boss’s mind until you prove him otherwise. deserve the position, you never know who’ll transfer, have a baby, or willingly step out of the rat race.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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« Life & Fun
CONFESSED
ANONYMOUSLY
D E H S I L B PU PUBLICLY
! n o i t t edi
prin
Each week, readers come to TheIndieChicks.com to confess anything and everything they feel anonymously. We wanted to take some of our very favorites and combine them with some that have never been published before, and edition. See if you relate! And if you’re your chest, make sure you stop by our website’s Indie Confessional!
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“I recently got with this guy that I had sex with years ago. Anyway when that his dick was no bigger (width wise), than a tampon. I had completely forgot. Imagine my disappointment as I’m trying to style it out like that was even know when it was in.”
“There are days, not all of them, but some of them, where I resent having children.” “My deepest darkest fantasy is to have my husband ‘rent me out’ to all his friends while he watches, laughs, and calls me his good little whore. The more guys the better and the more degrading the better.”
“There is a chance that my husband is not my daughter’s father. He doesn’t know I cheated on him and I don’t want to tell him. He loves her SO much and I don’t want that to change. I just can’t tell him.”
“I’m living in the past, clinging to my college years, and refusing to grow up. I work a dead end job, still live with my parents, and avoid any kind of responsibility. I know I need to grow up but I’m in no rush.”
“At night to fall asleep and calm my mind I like to imagine my dream home, relationship, and life. It sends me to the dream world with only positives in my mind. It’s a great practice but I still have to wake every morning to NONE of it.” THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Fiction Contest Winner!
y r e t Mys Girl by: Louise Byrne
I caught her staring across the bar, cocky expression, almost like she knew exactly what was gonna happen
M
y boyfriend’s arm wrapping around my shoulders snapped me back to me reality, I smiled and laughed on cue, the girl’s, my friends... or more precisely his friends girlfriends dragged where she had been standing, she was still there, staring, leering at me through thick lashes and sipping her drink. The music was crap, some amateur DJ than enough vodka in my system to compensate for his lack of skill and taste. I tried to resist but I glanced back over my shoulder looking for my mystery woman but, she was gone. One of the girls got closer to me rolling her body to the beat of the music, I knew the only reason for this was to turn on her boyfriend with a mildly erotic display but, why the hell shouldn’t I enjoy it?
I turned to leave, hide in the bathroom until the feeling passed and walked straight into my Mystery Girl. The churning in my stomach was instantly
embarrassed, blushing. burning sensation in my cheeks meant I had to be noticeable blushing. She placed her hand on my shoulder, the same cocky expression on her face. And damn did I like it! Her body pressed up against mine knee between my legs and moved closer to me. More people were staring now. I didn’t care. I could feel her hands on my back and in my hair, I was acutely aware of every place her body touched mine, I didn’t need to look down at her body her face told me everything. I couldn’t tear my coat of deep red gloss carefully painted over them, her slightly parted lips made me curious about what lay behind them. Rough hands and husky scent interrupted my fantasy, the rough printed lettering on his t-shirt scraped at upper part of my back my halter top didn’t cover. God, even boyfriend thought he’d join in trying to be sexy; he danced against me and placed his hand on the small of Mystery Girl’s back away and shot him a look, not vicious or Her eyes connected with mine and with a whip of her hair and hips she sauntered
[134] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
towards the back of the club. My teeth caught the corner of my lip and I caught I paused and let her gain a little distance before I weaved through the sea of bodies She caught my wrist as I walked by the women’s bathroom searching for her and pulled me into a cubical. The bathroom was crowded but I told myself “Girls pee together all the time, no one will suspect common sense and sobriety could read our body language and realise that peeing was not what was on our minds. I’d kissed girls before, more so out of drunkenness than attraction. I’d thought often about touching them, about what it feel like to run my hands over the hairless curves of a woman’s chest, but I’d never dared breach this unexplored terrain before. The creamy taste of her lipstick was familiar; the fullness of her lips was foreign and exotic. Already, soft noises of arousal were emanating from me. My back pressed against the cold tiled wall of the stall, I as typical Saturday night bathroom gossip. Mystery Girl’s hands started to travel knew had any sexual relevance, but tingle
sensation and the sharp heat when her was intense, again a soft moan slipped her blue-black hair and ground my hips against hers in a pang of desire. My right hand slid down the side of her neck, I was still tangled in her unrelenting kiss, and my hand hesitated at her collar bone but only for a moment. The feminine curves beneath my hand caused another overwhelming heat wave to soar through my body. Another moan, but not from me this time, I smiled to myself. I felt the button of my jeans pop open, her lips moved to my neck. Fuck! She was so good, every single touch was electric, like she knew me better than I did. Her lips trailed down my collar bone, her hand slipped slowly into the front of my jeans. I wanted this, I needed this. Three loud thumps rattled the door of the stall and both of our eyes shot to the lock which turned to “vacant” with a key from the outside. “No fucking way!!” I thought to myself. Not because we’d been caught, Sure enough the door pushed in on us revealing a burly female bouncer who grabbed us both by the upper arm and dragged us from the stall, and through the crowded ladies room. Outside a male bouncer waited to escort us out of the club, I also spotted my boyfriend who looked less than pleased... Can I blame him? Again I looked apologetic, but I wasn’t. I knew that made me a bad person, just because she was a girl didn’t mean it wasn’t cheating. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t regret it. Even when I was tossed jacketless into the cold, light rain falling I still had no regrets. Without a word Mystery Girl gave me a look and directional nod of her head which said “Come to my place?” I let her take my hand and lead the way. I never knew her name, but that night changed my life, opened up all my locked doors. I never saw her or my boyfriend again. Louise animal rights activist. She loves to
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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{
Music is our energizer, our stabilizer, our and rehabilitator. It calms us in times of panic and boosts our mood during times of depression. It can give us strength. And let’s be honest, it can provide an all-around kick-ass good time. So turn the music up, because The Indie Chicks are going to dance our way through 2014 and we want your badass booties shaking right along with us! Check out some new tunes and names to watch out for. We’d love to see these artists blow up in 2014. Take a listen and see why.
{
s g n o S e i d 20 Inhake Your to S 4 1 0 2 n i o t s As by: Marisa Lyon [136] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
1. ALWAYS BY PANAMA
12. HEY DOREEN BY LUCIUS Turning heads and shaking booty’s everywhere they go, this
arrangements and sugary sweet melodies.
sit still during “Hey, Doreen,” we dare you!
2. ALONE BY GODWOLF
13. WE MIGHT AS WELL BE DREAMING BY SHEARE
“Alone” is a powerful burst of light in a wave of darkness. What
Self-described as “neon space pop,” Sheare is an ambient
into a ferocious dance beat to make your inner wolf roar.
the frigid winter months.
3. FOREIGN BODIES BY RADIATION CITY
14. ALL OF THE PEOPLE BY PANAMA WEDDING
modern electro-pop sound and doo-wop funkiness. A sweet, synths.
4. LITTLE NUMBERS BY BOY
15. ELEVATE BY ST. LUCIA
the switch on those feelings of longing, aching, and endless thinking with a bouncing pop melody of hand-claps and lyrics you can’t resist singing along to. “Whooaaa, all the pretty things that we could be…” Maybe you’ll think about it later, because right now you’re too busy shakin’ it.
Mixing sunny, Caribbean qualities with a dreamy atmosphere, press play, and sink into a St. Lucia infused bubble bath after a full day of taking over the world.
16. OUT OF THE BLUE BY PRIDES
5. STAY BY COASTS Check those wintery blues at the door. Coasts’ buoyant energy and warming tropical-indie vibe will make you feel as though you’re lying on a pool raft with a fruity cocktail.
with a slightly dark, emotive vibe in this otherworldly tune.
17. HUMAN MAN BY JOHNNY STIMSON Johnny Stimson will keep you dancing well into 2014 with a funky mix of disco electro-pop, settling in somewhere between
energy until the sun rises.
7. BROTHER’S BOAT BY ELIZA AND THE BEAR 18. HEMIPLEGIA BY HAERTS Fabi’s crystalline vocals emote words of wisdom, “No you can’t move up with your eyes down!”
orchestral pop
8. SHADOW OF A MAN BY NEULORE
19. ON OUR WAY BY THE ROYAL CONCEPT
hand, swinging and spilling as you clap and stomp along with banjos, tambourines, and rustic, indie-folk harmonies.
pop quartet will have you clapping and singing along, “We are young. We are one. Let us shine for what it’s worth!”
9. OUT OF YOURSELF BY TRULS
20. COMPLIMENT YOU SOUL BY DAN CROLL
Truls debut single will have you bumpin’ &
grindin’ to
instrumentation and backed by an extremely catchy chorus.
10. WIND BLOWS BY CHATEAU MARMONT dreamy air.
11. LOVE ME AGAIN BY JOHN NEWMAN sing-along of sweeping strings and boisterous horns with an infectious orchestral beat.
with tropical rhythms and inspiring Afro-Caribbean beats. This is your year. So whether you’re throwing on that little black dress and heels or dancing through your living room, crank up the volume, break out your hair-brush microphone, and keep on dancing, even after the music stops.
Cover Girl’s Bonus Track! Check out Cam-Ranh’s single, Say it to My Face THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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10 Badass Décor Ideas to Bring Attitude to Your Space by: Jaime (The Detailed Decorator)
Is your decor making you feel more like a sorry ass than a badass? How can we have these huge shining personalities then sit around in a home with white walls? You should be able to walk into your home and get a clear image of who you are as a person, your interests, your spirit, and certainly your style. If it looks like you just moved into your home, with no signs of life, well I say that the time for that is over. Here are some great ways to spruce up your decor that don’t cost a bundle and will have your friend’s ooh’ing and ahh’ing.
3. Lighting Great lighting can make a room. Make sure to have lamps and overhead lighting to capture all areas of the room. Nothing is worse than having a room that is dark and dreary. You should want to enjoy your space and not feel like you are walking into a cave.
1. Paint
I know you have heard this a million times but adding color to a space will improve your mood and doesn't drain way to paint is to throw a paint party. color while you enjoy wine with your friends. Let it be fun!
2. Pillows
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Great pillows can be found in any home store, online, and even at thrift stores. Add great patterned pillows on a bed, couch, or chair non-committal way to bring in new colors and designs for those of you too timid to make permanent lasting changes.
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4. Furniture No, all your furniture does not need to match. This is a big love and go from there. Eclectic can time.
5. Accessories This is my favorite part of decorating. My favorite quote from the movie Steel Magnolias “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to punch. If you decide painting is not for you then bring in color through accessories.
6. Plants Now how can a plant be badass you say? I love working with live and fake plants to bring texture to a space. Live plants are a must with a few fake plants here and there throughout the jungle in a room but a few can spruce up the space. Then when holidays roll around decorate the plants by adding ribbon, fabric and cute little picks that will add to your holiday decor. Have a black thumb but want live plants? No low maintenance but still add life to a room.
8. Rugs Rugs are a great way to add color and imperfections too). They help anchor furniture and create a space within a space. Great rugs can be found at places like Homegoods, Home Depot and even WalMart. Again, not costing an arm and a leg but making a room feel more homey while bringing your personal style into the space.
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9. Bring the outdoors in
7. Candles Candles are a must for any home. or ones that bring back fond memories. I like grouping and
10. Cleanliness Yes, I know this is not technically
a relaxing mood, and who doesn’t need that?
decor is it can’t look badass if it isn’t clean and clutter free. Take the time to go through old papers that pile up on the countertops and in drawers, throw out clothes that no years, and make a commitment to do this every so often.
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Some people think it’s silly to spend time about their goals and dreams when they could be out there just making them happen. Those some people aren’t going to be interested in this article and that’s okay. However, for the list maker, the planner, and the dreamer, this article is going to speak straight to your soul.
PLAN IT If you want to lose weight, don’t just put a skinny model on your board, put the workout shoes, the Zumba class, and the kickboxing that will get you there. Then post some pictures of your ideal wardrobe after you’ve lost the pounds. The devil is in the details, ladies. Want to start that cookie business you’ve always
As a list maker, I love having an plan of attack board is nothing but a huge To Do List for the Universe! It’s putting out there all the things you’re dreaming of, even the ones that scare you a little. We’re going to break down how to build a dream board, but more than that, we’re going to discuss how to turn a board from a collage of random things into something that can really change your life.
BE SPECIFIC What do you want and in what time frame? Have the image of your goal next to a calendar
Build a Dream Board! by: Julie Zantopoulos
you are in your goals, the better. This creates a time frame accountability for yourself and for those who view your dream board, which they will (but we’ll get into that later). Don’t just splatter images all over a piece of poster board and hope that is enough. jewelry making, or other passion, then make it clear on your board. Have a time frame, the materials you need (pens, journal, laptop, beads, hoops, etc) and lay it all out there. The This helps not only in the visual reminders, but also in planning out how to make it come to fruition. Thinking a goal through to the end is
DREAM IT This is not the place to reign in your goals and dreams, this is the place to really let go and dream big. What are you afraid of, really? We’ve said it time and again that your dreams should scare you. If they aren’t scary then you aren’t dreaming big enough. Your goal should be an “Oh my goodness, am I insane?” kind of thing. Whether it’s a weight loss of 100 lbs, a complete career change, leaving your husband, or buying it’s your life goal, your yearly goal, or a passion so deep it envelops you, what’s the harm in creating a board to further proclaim it to the Universe? So dream without limitations and then have fun with some wine and start mapping it out in picture form.
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ad for the storefront rental, your dream oven, the company name, and your ideal menu. No detail is too small to add to your business dream board.
GET CREATIVE
Just because you’re making a dream ’board’ doesn’t mean you need to have a poster board images. Why not get creative with your dream board? Why not make it on a clipboard that you use to keep your “To Do” list on? Don’t rule out using a cheap frame to make it presentable and hanging it right by your desk. Hell, maybe to the gym or plaster the inside of your closet door with your dream board/inspiration? Don’t get stuck in a rut, make it fun, make it personal, and make it work for you.
SHARE IT I know this part is scary but you have to share your dream board. Why share that which you acknowledge your dreams and you give them life. Above all else is the simple fact that it creates accountability. There is something to be said for making your goals public and allowing family and friends to keep you on track. This isn’t just policing though, it’s about support, cheerleading, and the help, love, and support of others.
DON’T FORGET IT Just because you made your dream board doesn’t mean that jack squat is going to come of it. Worse still, even if you do all the above steps it’s easy to do a couple days, or weeks, of checking in with your board and then forget of sight. Move it around from place to place if need be to keep your eyes from getting used to it and looking past it. Make it a point to check in with it weekly and see where you are in your journey towards your goals. In the end, your dreams need to be nurtured and giving them a physical, viewable form, and sending the Universe your big dream mojo is never a bad thing. Grab your pals, grab some then start building your futures. We dare you!
Which [Indie Chick] Are You? Mostly A’s What boss? Unless you’re talking about a sexual fantasy, I will never be in that scenario again. Ask you to take on a new project. They know you never say no and will get the job done right. You have no idea, and you overthink every little thing you could have possibly done to piss
Going out for a smoke and seeing if anyone bites. Making friends by mixing drinks at the makeshift bar and getting some laughs with my quick wit. Introducing people to each other, because after 5 minutes you now know EVERYONE. Drinking and making inappropraite jokes to open up conversation.
your advice or to give you another promotion. You’re the only one that can get things done you’ve got going on you’ll come through.
is $5,000 for a wardrobe makeover A second laptop to work from. One just never seems like enough. A trip somewhere 27 iMac with all the trimmings
need me “Really Universe? More!” Tiger lemonade and make a party out of the day no matter how bad it gets! I don’t even have time to cry about this. Just
Haircut, new leather boots, mani pedi and some new make up Music, loud music with strong bass beats. Then I sing and dance like a fool. Filling up your online shopping cart and not bothering to buy any of it, going outside to soak up the sunshine, yoga, a new pair of Hair freshly done, sneakers on and concert music blasting.
Do the head nod right back and pull out the stool next to me. Turn around to make sure there is nobody behind me. Make eye contact, smile, then look away. He’ll probably come over not that you really want him to. Smile casually but don’t make any further eye contact. While its nice to be noticed you’ve got a loving hunny at home.
Any cult classic from the 90s. Clueless, The Craft, or Jawbreaker The Labyrinth a perfect mix of a great soundtrack, action, comedy, and awesome
Unicorn Great White Shark A day all to myself. Go get a massage, spend sometime in a bookstore, and watch talented street performers as I eat chocolate covered strawberries Spending time with family or friends, taking in a live music show, and making some time for writing. Lying by a pool somewhere tropical with the ocean in the background while a cabana boy caters to your every whim, including a massage. A day where no one asks me for anything and yet everythig gets done and a trip to Disneyland. “We’re not in the large popular group but we’re equally as popular, though there’s few of us” the quick smile and laugh that managed to be You were considered part of the popular group. You were friends with everyone no matter how random it seemed and didn’t care if your group had something to say about it. No group could contain this awesome. I spent my highschool years making friends in every group.
Hair metal or 90s alternative - one just calls for a extra eyeliner.
Sex and the City Machine, or Eminem. House/Dance with a random country song thrown in here and there I’ll do a half naked dance to anything with a great beat and some sweet lyrics
You’re most like Chiara. Walking to the beat of your own drum is important to you, as is being able to retain as much control over your life as possible. You’ve got an inner rebel willing to put magnetic and charming - use that to kick some serious ass this year!
Mostly B’s You’re most like Julie. You are quirky and silly but constantly aware of those you are responsible for. There is a balance between fun and games but even when have a blast doing it. You draw people in, are likely many people’s go to for chats or problem solving. Remember to take time for yourself this year and the world will be yours for the taking.
Mostly C’s You’re most like Chrystal. A social and have a good time no matter where pile more on your plate that you should. Your dreams are big to others, but you consider them well within reach and don’t let negativity deter you. You love to help others and would do just about anything for a friend. Continue to surround yourself with people you admire this year and you’ll watch all your dreams come true.
Mostly D’s You’re most like Renee. Wise cracking and cunning you keep people laughing and know when to let go of the little things. You’re the life of the party and won’t let anyone’s bad mood get you down. You spend your time dreaming of ting in, you own your independance and
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Ready for a [Badass] Year? If you have felt as if you have spent 2013 running just to stand still, things you tick. Because Jupiter is in Cancer from now until mid next year, it will also be the year of nurturing, family and commitment. Jupiter represents growth and expansion. When you couple that with the mothering sign of Cancer, everyone gets taken care of. Thinking about marriage? Want to start a family? The upcoming year will have some intense and passionate moments. If you are looking to move forward in life or settle down with love, 2014 will help you get there. But get ready, it’ll move fast!
Aries [march 21-april 20] In general, this year will have its ups and downs but those ups and downs will work in your favor. You secretly love stress, especially when it comes to love. Life will throw you a curve ball or two but the person you care for will see how you take care of business and be impressed. He will not want to leave your side. Your lover may start to think about strengthening the commitment or maybe even marriage. Oddly enough, so will you. If you love him, it may of 2014. Not only will you be able to keep up with it, but be quick enough to take advantage of every opportunity. After mid-year,
Gemini [may 21-june 20] tells you. The strength you thought you lost will be found and the weight on your shoulders will be lifted. You’ll be more to the love and/or type of relationship you so greatly deserve. For a few of you this may be breaking up with someone and moving on. If this is you, so be it. That person did not value your awesomeness. Meanwhile, do not let your reunion with with eyes, heart and mind open. You don’t want to get ahead have been giving it your all and will get paid. Just don’t spend it all at once.
Taurus [april 21-may 20]
Cancer [june 21-july 22]
For the last few years, you’ve learned a number of life’s lessons. When it comes to love, you may have been knocked down but no one can stop a charging bull. You have endured and are ready to try love again. This time around you are smarter and a little more compassionate. During 2014 you will continue to learn life’s lessons but through communication and networking vs. observation. Doors will open professionally and lasting relationships will form. Those of you happily attached in 2014 may be get married or contemplating it. Don’t be surprised by your thoughts of expanding your family this year. You would
You are a driving force this year and Jupiter is happy to power alongside you. Though the year may start and end well for your love life, mid-year won’t be so warm. That’s ok, because
knowledge than one of your own?
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Go on and indulge, just don’t get out of hand. Long distance relationships may grow closer both emotionally and physically. relate to. A few of you will have the “pleasure” of catching up that closure you wanted will be yours. Evil laugh. You won’t need to be nice to him, just listen then let go.
Leo [july 23-august 22]
Sagittarius [november 23-december 21]
Since a lot of your year will be in one retrograde or another, expect to be in for one hell of a time. This year will be retrospective and you will learn not only about what you’re capable of and what you value, but some of the hard knock lessons of life. Your professional life will be turned upside down. Expect frustration (don’t they
You may experience some health issues that will take priority in
discomfort. The upside is that many of you may begin plans to open your own business. There’s an upside to all this bullshit; love may come unexpectedly. If you’re unattached, keep your eyes and heart open. If you’re attached, for once you may be thinking about
under control, the interest to be loved or be in love will reignite. Take care not to become too impulsive or overeager. Those of you have it all, so long as you are not stubborn or demanding. Speaking of being too stubborn or demanding, your professional life will
sure your heart will stay with it.
planet, it being in Cancer will require you to adapt a few Cancerean characteristics. Once you do, this year will be quite rewarding for you. It’ll open the door for better contacts, more money and a little love.
Virgo [august 23-september 23]
Capricorn [december 22-january 20]
Some of you played fast and loose with love in 2013 so expect to continue that trend in 2014. If you do, expect to get yourself into situations you are likely to not get out of unscathed. The love triangle will be the least of your worries. If you happen to be in a relationship, it won’t be any easier for you either. Trials, and your love get through this special kind of hell, you two will be able to get through anything. Whether or not this chaos stems from any of the three retrogrades you will endure in 2014, the key
looking at you professionally as well as romantically. Thankfully, you won’t need to step out of your element to impress anyone; especially a lover and you won’t have to change the fundamentals of who you are. They aren’t looking for that and won’t want you if a relationship. Meanwhile, your professional life will see a few opened doors during the second quarter of 2014. Your patience anticipated. If you’re looking to start a family, late March would be an ideal time to start.
rather than what you think is wrong in your love life.
Libra [september 24-october 23]
Aquarius [january 21-february 19] For many of you this will be a year of perspective. You may be
It’s usually not a safe bet to wager against a Libra. 2014 will be the year you remind everyone not to underestimate you. enough that what you say or need carries weight. Just don’t get greedy come raise time. When it comes to love, many of you in relationships will be focused on creating and/or expanding your family. If you are, this’ll be the year. There will be some of you out fairly, but do not let money get between you and those you care deeply for. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and your heart this year. Remember what you will learn.
Scorpio [october 24-november 22] For you, 2014 will be a rude awakening. For every action there’ll be an opposite yet equal reaction. You’ll forcibly learn to take the good with the bad and how to deal gracefully, rather than your normal way of dealing with frustrations. Through the newfound wisdom you gain, you’ll likely start to think about taking your love life more seriously this year. It’s about damn time too. You Taking love seriously means exercising patience. This will lead you to making the decision to stay faithful. While these are not normally Scorpio traits in this regard, you’ll adapt.
Xstrology is the most followed astrologer on Twitter of daily, quality horoscopes. View more about your sign on XstrologyScopes.com
Those of you in this position will spend a good part of the year Once that is done, everything you need will be waiting for you. Social and professionally, you will be a trendsetter this year. The connections you make while being social will do wonders may suddenly reemerge bringing a lot of fun with them. What wider but also stronger. Do something good with it.
Pisces [february 20-march 20] You may be frustrated more often than not this year. The change you’ll begin to desire may be plagued by the communication problems that surround you. Your patience in professional matters and those of the heart will be tested. If you are attached, one occur between you and your love. Expect infrequent arguments over money and jealousy. When you think it may be too much, don’t give up and don’t let go. Regroup and readjust. You will be stronger in 2015 for doing so. Now if you are unattached, being social will change your status for the better. You’ll still endure issues similar to those mentioned above but they won’t be so heavy and weigh you down. 2014 will test what you are made of. Embrace this and grow stronger from it.
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Meet our [Contributors] is currently a freelance writer living in Scottsdale, AZ. She
Thanks
to
an
overactive and freelance writer living up to one of her dreams
of Nebraska where she received her bachelor’s in psychology and master’s in business degrees while at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. You Lies and Lessons Learned
been labeled a lunatic and spent her days in a mental asylum. Instead she became a writer which is basically the same thing only without the sporks. Even though she is primarily a writer of Urban Fantasy, she also enjoys writing articles about makeup trends, Steampunk events and comics. Her writing can also be O’Nine Tales”.
believes using nutrition as a preventative should be the main stream form of healthcare. Not pills, not surgeries, but natural methods people can use on a daily basis to keep themselves well with no ill living the JuiceLife is one of those natural methods that if used on a daily basis can bring longterm health and wellness.
bodybuilding competition. show was just icing on the protein shake as the true winning was taken away in the strength she herself as a woman. Follow share the never-ending transformation of a new competitor and works to take her pro card!
A freelance fashion and lifestyle writer, was born in Russia, raised in Sweden and has lived in California and Italy. She currently resides in London where she’s busy eating vegan cupcakes, doing yoga and blogging at
is co-founder of Marketing internet marketing agency. A born entrepreneur with over ten years of marketing a passion for helping businesses succeed. For more information, follow her @katevolman and
is a writer and music addict who loves to combine her passion for the two. Immersed in the indie music world, she keeps up to date on news and releases and is currently in the process of starting her own music website. When she’s not scouting new artists, Marisa enjoys creative writing, photography, novel.
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She is the founder of Healthy Chicks, a wellness community dedicated to inspiring twentysomething women to live happier, healthier, more meaningful lives (without dieting.)
is a California based freelance writer, relationship consultant, and Geekalicious creator of one of the hottest
Marrie, combines wit, wisdom, and a splash of audacity to shatter outdated perceptions about women, stimulate conversations, and ignite relationships between the sexes.
is a freelance chronicles the daily struggle to balance motherhood, life and sex at Suburbia Interrupted. You can follow Dani on twitter @Sunshinemommy.
The Fit Fem, is the CEO and founder of The Fit Fem Studio, a Long Island, NY based company that Fit Fem Studio is an in home personal training company and an Online Gym that
runs the blog Ask Away, where she writes about advice, fashion, and a variety of other topics. with her 4 Chihuahuas and works full time for the state government. Visit askawayblog.com
who are too busy or just not comfortable going to the gym daily lives both online and on getting women healthy, but having them appreciate and embrace their bodies during the process. The Fit Fem Studio has been featured on WeTV.com, Newsday. com,EverydayHealth.com, EHealth Radio and on Fios1News.
is decorating brought to you with a personal touch. With today’s fast paced world, going from place to place shopping for just the right decorating item isn’t on most people’s to do list… so the Detailed Decorator brings it all to you! Everything you need to create that wonderfully perfect space or I’ll create it for you. You can shop online or contact us if you are looking for that one hard
is a personal chef, caterer, and a generally crafty ginger who loves dogs, wine, food, and her handsome husband. In that order. Sarah studied culinary
private events and custom, seasonal menus and is developing a cooking show under the same name.
heads up Copywriting, SEO, Social Media, and Content Marketing for a range of businesses throughout the country. She loves pink, wine, football, beer, and of course NYC. When she’s not slaying SEO dragons or pumping out her in the sun enjoying life, waiting to take on the next adventure.
Visit DetailedDecorator.com
Los Angeles, CA and has worked for several prominent clients in the entertainment industry. Sarah recently started a boutique catering company, Ginger in the
is a blog coach at angiemjordan. com where she teaches bloggers how to turn their blogs into revenue-streaming businesses. She is the owner of the online marketing
book in the future.
being the sassiest SoCal girl to hit the South. When she’s not blogging, she’s watching her beloved USC Trojans play football or on a plane somewhere. “Sassy, classy and a little smart assy” is a way of life in her mind. Visit alwaysashten.com
Jane Jones
is a sex and dating blogger with a big heart and a polyamorous, she’s having fantastic sex and fabulous relationships. Jane studies chemistry and physics and works as a professional musician when she’s not writing about dildos or lives in Detroit with her obstreperous kitten Calpurnia.
Rene is a strong willed lady from the south. She enjoys going on long runs and walks with her dogs. She has a passion for animals and women’s rights activism. She enjoys writing about her views at her blog Habits of Thought and hopes to
is a native Southern Californian who moved to Atlanta in 2010 to further her career. She writes and manages her lifestyle blog, alwaysashten, where she talks about lessons learned, funny life stories and her
What do you’re not a princess but instead a lunatic in a plastic tiara? You write about it of course. Who Needs Happily Ever After, a blog entirely dedicated to my quest to kiss as many frogs as possible before midnight strikes and I turn back into a pumpkin. See whoneedshappilyeverafter. blogspot.com
(aka RachelintheOC) is a bestselling author and social media/author marketing consultant. When not writing, she helps authors and other professionals with branding and social media for her hates walks in the rain, running out of
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