What I'm longing for...

A MILLENNIAL’S POV

By Kimberly Elliot

Kimberly Elliot is an associate with a Toronto-based marketing agency.

If I had to use a single word to characterize my experience of the past eight months amidst the global pandemic that shall not be named, it would be “longing.” This has been a season of great longing for the version of life I now realize I took for granted. And while I acknowledge that to some I have had a comparatively comfortable ride, there are still things I am longing for – things I really miss. They range in varying degrees of essentiality: from going to the movies to our morning routine of school drop-off, from hugging my nephews, taking the kids on grocery trips, going to a concert. It’s all relative. But that last one looms pretty large for me. Going to a concert, seeing a show – it’s a feeling I’m missing more than most.

This has been a season of great longing for the version of life I now realize I took for granted.

I’ve been heartsick, soul-sick for that feeling, the unmistakable, irreplaceable sense of sheer rapture you can get only from scream-singing your favourite songs back to the band you love, voice squeezing and cracking with emotion. When the lights finally go down at the show and you hear the first notes and lyrics of “that” song and you throw your hands in the air and raise your voice in cheer, almost without realizing. That feeling when your body belongs to music and for the entire set you forget you’re a person with a name.

THAT FEELING

It’s a feeling that flows with every song, building fromyour stomach to your heart and all at once moving you. Body writhing, head banging, heart throbbingas you become made of drums and guitars and piano keys – breaking down and filling the space and time of the moment. You stand with hundreds or thousands of strangers and share in a spiritual experience that is at once individual and collective. That feeling of singing in unison with those strangers, voices rising a cappella until the drop –then raging together at once. And at the end, you’re reborn. Emerging a changed person, heart touched in new places, feelings untapped, energy well spent.

Yes, I’m one of those people at shows. I am limbs and hair in trance-like worship – literally dancing like no one is watching. Jack White said, “Music is sacred,”and I’m not sure I’ve heard a truer sentiment on the topic. Music is religious, spiritual food for the soul,and my soul is trying to survive the famine.

It’s a feeling that flows with every song, building from your stomach to your heart and all at once moving you.

Since I have been old enough to have a job and spend my own money irresponsibly, I have done soon shows. From high school gymnasiums watching Ill Scarlett and two summers at the Warped Tour (before it went the way of Katy Perry and BlackEyed Peas) to Prince’s Piano & A Microphone Tour (complete with what felt like 10-plus encores),Mumford & Sons, Foo Fighters, Metallica, Florence and the Machine, FKA Twigs (whose Kate Bush vibes and prima ballerina athleticism make for an epic show), Neil Young, The Lumineers, Jack White (twice, and as many more times as I can possibly manage),and the Arkells … to name a small few.

Side note: I also went to a Fleetwood Mac show last year sans Lindsey Buckingham, and I have to say: If you see Fleetwood Mac without Lindsey Buckingham, did you even see Fleetwood Mac?

I don’t have any idea when I’ll be back to flailingand hollering at a concert again, so the season oflonging plays on. In the meantime, there’s the subpar experience of watching live performances second hand on the Internet, which will just have to do. If you, like me, are patiently waiting for the day when you feel the thrumming of bass and song bouncingoff your body, here are a few concert films and documentaries that might satisfy your itch. Happy viewing.

SUGGESTED VIEWING LIST

• Stop Making Sense Talking Heads, 1984

• The Last Waltz Various artists, 1978

• Homecoming Beyoncé, 2019

• Monterey Pop Various artists, 1968

• The Dance Fleetwood Mac, 1995

• Sign o’ the TimesPrince, 1987

• Under Great White Northern Lights The White Stripes, 2009

• Awesome, I F*ckin’ Shot That! The Beastie Boys, 2006

SIDEONE DECEMBER 2020