Utterly in Love

Yin and Yang

Dear death, You complete me. When the world feels like it’s crumbling beneath me, You save me.

When I need stability underneath me, You balance me.

Your midnight black cloak feels cool to the touch as it brushes against my warm, glowing skin.

I am in awe of the sparkle of your scythe under the moonlight.

You reached for the soft feathers on my wings but it caused me to flinch. You bury your boney face in your hood and I blush for you.

There is no light without dark no sweet without sorrow no day without night no good without evil and most importantly there is no life without you.

Love is Whatever

You dazzle me with that twinkle in your eye. I am breathless looking at your smile.

Love is that lightning behind each one of your kisses. It is the electricity of your touch.

Love is the warmth of your hand holding mine. It is comforting whenever I’m wrapped in your embrace.

Love is patience each time you calm my anxiety. It is the sweetness of your words and the goofy jokes you make.

Love is forever no matter the stormy weather. I know you will be my best friend because we’re stronger together.

Love is whatever, as long as it is you and me.

Until Death Do Us Part

Is it really love when our bond breaks as soon as we decay?

Hold on a little longer, and keep my fading memory in your heart.

Be my Orpheus, following me to the realm of the dead.

Let our love be inseparable.

I will forever be yours.

Don’t Look Back

You waited for me in your car, and the setting sun ignited the sky with colors. As I made my way to the passenger side, I heard the booming bass of your music.

The moment I buckled up we were off, flying through the night and leaving our worries behind. I’m enjoying this wild ride with you by my side.

We sang along to “Check Yes, Juliet,” Your hand holding mine.

I never want this moment to end.

I just wanna be part of your symphony

I won’t chase you but could you just stay? Let the music consume us like a wave. The lovely sound of your voice is like a constant lullaby, making me look up at the sky all starry-eyed.

You make me feel warm inside, like I’m sitting by a fire on a chilly, autumn night. You give me the right kind of chill that makes me shiver. Your presence is the song I will always remember.

“Underwater Enchantress” was published in Etchings Press Volume 35.1.

“Twitter Retweets: To Live Every Day like Halloween” is a collage poem I created by screenshotting retweets from my Twitter page.

The television show, American Idol, is mentioned within the poem and the title of “The Next American Idol.”

I recorded “Normal People Scare Me” as spoken word poetry. It was published in the Etchings Press Volume. 35.2 and can be found on either my official SoundCloud or the Etchings Press SoundCloud.

The word “onism” in my poem of the same name is from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.

A reference to Harry Potter appears in “Going up or going down?” to indicate the style of glasses worn by one of the character’s stepping into the elevator.

The poem, “Yin and Yang,” is inspired by the artwork preceding it which I found on Google Images.

I allude to the Greek mythological figure, Orpheus, in “Until Death Do Us Part.”

In “Don’t Look Back,” I reference the song, “Check Yes, Juliet” by We The Kings.

“I just wanna be part of your symphony” is a song lyric from “Symphony” by Clean Bandit ft. Zara Larsson. I used this lyric as inspiration for the rest of the poem.

Acknowledgements

I appreciate the help from my mom, dad, nana, boyfriend, and cat who have always supported me throughout my journey as a writer. Anytime I want someone to read my written pieces and offer suggestions, I know I can always count on my loved ones. I am thankful I can express myself comfortably, showing my vulnerabilities on the page without the fear of judgement. Whenever I doubt myself, they are there to remind me of my strengths and potential. My cat has been my emotional support system through everything in my life. He is always by my side, calming my nerves with his soothing purrs. I couldn’t ask for a better best friend. Each day I spent revising, my mom followed along throughout the process, reminding me of details about my childhood for “The Next American Idol,” which is based on a youthful memory. Some of my love poems in this chapbook are inspired by my feelings and personal experiences with the love of my life.

This chapbook also wouldn’t be possible without the creative prompts, feedback, and encouragement of my Poetry Writing Workshop 370 professor, Liz Whiteacre, and fellow poets in the class.

Thank you, to the loving people in my life, for showing me what it means to be human.

Sierra Brooke Durbin is a creative writing major and music minor at the University of Indianapolis. Feeling musical and lost in the stars, she loves to blend her passions of storytelling and singing, often writing poems, short stories, and songs. Her poetry and prose have been published in Etchings Press and she has received a 2021 Dorlis Gott Armentrout Award honorable mention for outstanding undergraduate writing for her horror short story “Bone Creeper” in Etchings Press Volume 34.1. Recently, her piece “Drowning The Flames” won 3rd Place for Literary Magazine Flash Fiction, which was issued by the Indiana Collegiate Press Association. When she’s not performing on stage, she writes articles and manages the Instagram account for the number one college magazine chapter called Her Campus at Indy. On social media, she is an influencer and content creator that goes by the name, “Sierrallstar.”

Author’s Note

What Makes Us Human is a collection of poems I wrote in response to a variety of unique prompts during my Poetry Writing Workshop course. In the beginning of the semester, I wrote three poems each week with the goal to try and go out of my comfort zone and dabble with different themes and forms. Since I have more experience with writing song lyrics, I tend to write poetry that is in quatrains, but I wanted to be more creative and intentional with my decisions on the form and spacing. This chapbook features poems I wrote for the weekly journals as well as in-class activities and what I conjured up in my free time. Looking back at the 18 poems I wrote during this term, I noticed several involved the supernatural and paranormal, childhood memories, my experience with anxiety, and an emphasis on the powerful feeling of love. Nearly half of the poems I wrote are based on personal experiences or emotions and the rest come from my love of writing fantasy and horror.

The workshops with my peers helped me feel more confident about my creative choices. This experience offered me the wonderful opportunity to receive unbiased first reader impressions as I developed my poems. I also shared my work with my loved ones throughout my revision process and cleaning up stage as I combined all of the elements of the eChapbook in one file. Some days I felt like I was carrying a heavy weight of doubt and frustration while revising my pieces. I am a perfectionist so I kept returning to ones I believed could be improved further, for instance, “Going up or going down” because it is a contemporary style that is unlike anything else I have written since it was not as personal or imaginative as the rest of my poems. I focused on a mundane moment in the speaker’s life, trying to show the monotonous routine of a person who feels ignored. I tried to interrupt this humdrum solitude by introducing a stranger that speaks to her in the end. Being actively involved in music and clubs on campus, I struggled fitting in the amount of time I wanted to sit down, sip on a cup of coffee (even if it is 3 AM) and really dedicate my heart and soul to this project because I care about each part of the process. I wanted to successfully provide my poems a little home where it feels like they truly belong.

At first, I did not know how to group such diverse themes that fit together in a whole collection. The section, “Are You a Monster?” in the beginning clearly features different creatures, although each slightly appear human or experience what we associate as human emotions. I combined the poems that featured my reflection of the past and personal childhood memories as well as others I wrote about ghosts in “Haunted by the Past.” All of the poems, except for the last one, in the section, “Suffering with Anxiety,” reveal the internal war that goes on inside of my head in regards to struggling with social anxiety, depression, and the ultimate feelings of restlessness and constant worry. I communicate my perspective of what love feels like and question its permanence in some of the poems throughout the last section, “Utterly in Love.” I arranged the poems in an order that created a flow for the reader. The monster section, which I realized unintentionally brings up the idea of consuming humans, transitions into the human experience by going from a vindictive siren to a vengeful demonic attachment to a misunderstood, innocent vampire girl who wishes she could have friends and ending with a poem that encourages people to dress like the characters that would be seen on Halloween. I invite readers on an experience that take them through moments of isolation, uncertainty, and reflection to discover that what truly makes us human is our ability to love.

Overall, I am proud of my efforts in creating my first chapbook and I am happy I can share it virtually to the public. It has been thrilling watching my creation come to life. I feel accomplished writing poems that reflect my imagination and love for imagery. This journey has taught me so much about my own writing styles and preferences. I was exposed to many writing techniques I will keep in mind as I continue the path of publishing more poetry and prose. I am grateful for this chance to grow as a creator and improve my craft. During workshops, I found out many people thought my poems would be great as short stories because they were so invested in the characters I portrayed. Because of these positive reactions, I may work on some short stories in the future that are inspired by the pieces I can fledge out in more detail. Working on this chapbook reminded me how much I enjoy playing with language and has encouraged me to keep on writing and sharing my voice. I hope to inspire others with my writing and build a connection with my readers so they no longer feel alone.