A Second Wind: Grandparenting

SENIOR LIVING

A SECOND WIND Rewards of Being — and Having — Grandparents

By Mary Petersen Signal Staff Writer

Ababy’s on the way, but he is in no rush to get here. My daughter is expecting her second. The night she went to the hospital for an unplanned visit, I stayed with big brother who’s almost four. When he awoke in the morning, his parents were gone, but he found me cuddled next to his bed on the floor.

I helped him get dressed, eat breakfast, then took him to preschool. Since his mom and dad were required to stay two nights, we brought him to the hospital where Dad met us outside and Mom waved at us through a 3rd story window. I wanted him to know that his parents hadn’t just disappeared.

He stayed at our house that night without complaints or tears, his first night away from his parents.

In the morning my daughter called, released to return home, still no baby. She thanked us for the care we gave our little guy, grateful for our close relationship with him. We’re delighted to lend a hand and would do anything to make their parenting job a bit easier.

The more social support we can give to sometimes frazzled parents, the more energy they have to effectively parent. It takes a village.

Grandparenting has always been an important extension of parenting, especially in certain cultures. But in modern times, with average lifespans increasing, grandparents will be in their grandchildren’s lives even longer than in previous generations.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, the number of grandparents rose 21% from 2001 to 2017. We are playing a significant role as secondary caregivers.

Research at the University of Oxford confirms that grandparents play a vital role in children’s wellbeing. The study of more than 1,500 children indicated that those with a high level of grandparental involvement had fewer emotional and behavioral problems.

The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids published an article highlighting the role that grandparents play in preventing grandchildren from underage drinking and using drugs.

One of the most important needs children have in developing healthy minds and bodies is feeling that they belong, that they have a community and family history.

In the role of storyteller and history keeper, grandparents help children cultivate a positive identity and sense of purpose. We keep kids connected. Enveloping them in unwavering support helps our grandchildren grow and mature with integrity, confidence and resilience.

As grandparents accompany children on their journey through life, sharing wisdom, humor and experiences, both are gratified. Being actively engaged with our grandchildren helps us see the world through fresh eyes and ensures that we never stop learning.

The bond we share with them as we read, play and explore is also creating a legacy by which we will be remembered.

We delight in the blessings that our precocious rascal has brought to our lives. We patiently await the arrival of little brother, knowing that he will provide a new set of challenges and worries but also a deep, overwhelming joy.

We welcome the life-changing opportunity to bond with this little human who reminds us of the miraculous abundance in life.

Mary Petersen is a retired COC English instructor, a 30-year SCV resident and two-time breast cancer survivor. 

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