Forgiveness by Signet Ring

Signet Ring COMPLIMENTARY ISSUE

FEBRUARY - APRIL 2013

FORGIVENESS “Seventy times Seven”

FORGIVENESS

IN EVERY ISSUE 2 Q &A What is Forgiveness and Why Does It Matter? 26 Recommended Reads by Chelsea Swain 28 Classics The Christian in Complete Armor

8 18

IDENTITY 4 Jesus Christ At the Feet of Jesus

RELATIONSHIPS 10 Missions North Africa

LIFE 22

Dealing with Difficult People Forgiveness is Not Optional

Salt of the Earth Are You Worth Your Salt?

Forgiveness vs. Remorse The Power of Forgiveness, The Doom of Remorse

Heavenly Home Reflections on Heaven Part III

13 Fellowship In-Step Ministries 16 Evangelism Evangelism Without Legalism

8 Prisons The Prison of Unforgiveness

18 Marriage Forgiveness Unplugged

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zodervan. All Rights Reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

SIGNET RING FEBRUARY - APRIL 2013

“Then Peter came to Jesus and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV

In the verse above, Peter thought he was being very kind, even generous, in forgiving someone seven times, which is more than Jewish tradition–only three times. I am certain Jesus’ response caught Peter by surprise, and he likely thought 490 times was a bit excessive! However, while Peter may have desired to count the offenses of others, Jesus is indicating that forgiveness does not keep score. Nor does forgiveness keep count of its mercies and grace. Is not this the very heart of Jesus? Ephesians 2:4-5 echoes this truth, “But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” Forgiveness is the heart of Christianity, the nucleus of our faith. I once thought of forgiveness as having to be earned. I felt a sense of superiority over any personal offender and I was going to inflict as much emotional pain as I could to show them how much they hurt me. In essence, I acted as the judge and jury, determining the sincerity of any apologetic words or deeds. Now I see forgiveness as a gift. I have accepted and treasure the free gift of God’s complete forgiveness for my sins and shortcomings; therefore, I must freely give the gift of forgiveness. Of course,

forgiveness is not indifferent, it is not lacking conviction, and it is surely not being a doormat for those wishing to take advantage. On the contrary, it is allowing God’s abundant grace to saturate our minds and hearts to the point that it spills over and out from us. It is giving the Rightful Judge the burden of injustice and permitting the Author of Mercy to work compassion in our stubborn hearts. In our forgiving of others, our hearts become stronger in taking less offense, our confidence in Christ expands, and our burning resentment diminishes. In this issue Troy and Dionne Ray share their insight on forgiveness in the context of marriage; Rich and Geri Campbell express the love of Christ in their ministry; and Candy Abbott offers ways to handle difficult people. If you find the topic of forgiveness unsettling or you just cannot let go of the list of offenses against you, it is my prayer that this issue will provoke heartfelt contemplation on the Gospel of Grace.

Signet Ring Volume 1 Issue 3 February - April 2013

Publisher JOYCE BIRCH General Editor JON SCOTT BIRCH Art Selection HALEY DYE SHANA SMITH Layout & Design LIZ RANOLA Advisor CANDY ABBOTT

Published by Signet Ring, a division of Recover Church. P.O. Box 1891 Millsboro, DE 19966. For questions or comments: info@signetringmag.com Copyright © 2012-2013 Signet Ring a division of Recover Church. All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without written consent of publisher. ISSN: 2168-34259 (print) ISSN: 2168-3433 (online).

Mission Statement Signet Ring promotes a wholehearted pursuit of Jesus Christ in response to His invitation, “Follow Me.” We do this through learning about and growing in our identity in Christ, imparting His love in our relationships, and living a disciple’s life. In light of the principles of 1 Tim 1:5, “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” FORGIVENESS

IDENTITY: Q&A

What is Forgiveness and W JON SCOTT BIRCH

Forgiveness involves both God’s grace and mercy. His grace is an unmerited (undeserved) favor toward us and His mercy, born of His compassion, entails an offered reprieve from eternal suffering. However, before we attempt to define “forgiveness,” we must first understand what it is not. Forgiveness is not merely accepting someone’s apology for slight or hurt, nor can someone be forced to receive another’s forgiveness. Rather, forgiveness is a construct of and issues from a grander source: Love. To “forgive” means to “remit, or cancel” one’s sins. Hebrews 9:22 declares that God, Who is perfectly just, cannot forgive without atonement (restitution), for “without shedding of blood there is no remission for sins.” The atoning death of Jesus Christ on the cross makes forgiveness possible in that it speaks both “for us” and “against us.” For unless we allow the cross to reveal the full severity of our sin, it will not take that sin from us. “He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:11-12). WHO NEEDS FORGIVENESS AND WHO FORGIVES? All of humanity needs forgiveness for our disobedience reaching all the way back to the beginning in Eden, for “through one man (Adam) sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because all sinned” (Rom. 5:12). But through the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus Christ the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to us (Acts 13:38-39).

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The rift in our relationship with God requires reconciliation with Him, and only God made this possible Who reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation… and He has committed us to the message of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-19). This shows that as much as we need forgiveness we also are required to forgive others just as our Father in heaven has forgiven us (Matt. 6:14-15). Relational reconciliation in love is the reason for the Word becoming flesh and dwelling among us. WHAT DOES IT MEAN THAT I AM FORGIVEN? Though referenced in the previous question, the idea that we have been given the “ministry and message of reconciliation” is further expounded by the apostle Paul when he declares that we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us! He goes on to proclaim that through Christ’s atonement we can become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor. 5:20-21), for we have redemption through His blood, and the forgiveness of sins according to the riches of His grace (Ephesians 1:7). Forgiveness of one’s sins truly involves sharing in Christ’s death and only then sharing in His righteousness: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who

live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). HOW DO I KNOW THAT I AM FORGIVEN? Jesus said, “But when the Helper [Holy Spirit] comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me” (John 15:26). “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him Whom He has sent” (John 6:29). “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9). “Without faith it is impossible to please God, for anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). “It is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins… But when this priest [Jesus] had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God… by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy” (Hebrews 10:4, 11-14).

Clearly, faith and belief are necessary to be forgiven and thus reconciled to God as one comprehends the tragedy of human fallenness and the power of the Cross. But there are two sides to forgiveness and reconciliation: There is one who offers, and there is one who either receives or rejects the offer. In no way, however, does rejection invalidate the substance of the offer. To explain this further, another question can be asked:

Why Does it Matter? WHERE DOES FORGIVENESS TAKE PLACE? Though acknowledged and continually avowed in the mind per choice, forgiveness takes place in the heart, aided by the Holy Spirit. This applies to forgiveness both received and given. And outward evidences surely assist in confirming sincerity. “For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation” (Rom. 10:10). True faith in Christ will result in repentance as a change of conviction toward sin (particularly one’s own sin) flourishes in response to the renewing of one’s heart and mind (1 Tim. 1:5). This progression is part of growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ that we must choose to faithfully pursue lest we fall from our own steadfast discipleship (2 Peter 3:17-18). Jesus Christ died to sin once for all (Rom. 6:10). Yet, the actual canceling/ remission of an individual’s sin is conditional upon the individual’s acceptance of the Cross. Thus, there is no forgiveness of those who insist on trying to pay their own sin-debt and earn their way into God’s favor (John 3:36). Thankfully, those who are forgiven have Christ’s “payment” applied to them, a most gracious Gift that advances from offered to accepted upon heartfelt cooperation with a loving Savior.

“...forgiveness is a construct of and issues from a grander source: Love.” FORGIVENESS

IDENTITY: Jesus Christ

At the Feet of J KYLE HUBBARD

he slips into the party knowing she is unwanted. Feeling their scornful stares and hearing their weak attempts to whisper, she moves undaunted toward her objective. They watch with disgust as she falls at the Prophet’s feet. Overwhelmed by remorse, tears of brokenness begin to stream down her face. His feet are thick with dust, the remnants of His journey still clinging heavily to them. Her tears pour out upon them, cleansing them, her hair then wipes them dry. She adorns His feet with kisses and anoints them with perfume. How beautiful are these feet that have carried the Gospel! How worthy they are of praise, she tells herself. Her act of worship does not go unnoticed. Soon the Teacher speaks the words she has longed to hear. “Your sins are forgiven... Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” This account is found in Luke 7:3650 and is a truly beautiful story of how a hopeless sinner met a grace-filled Savior. No longer did the woman’s identity rest on

KYLE HUBBARD is a follower of Jesus Christ, who has a heart for the hurting and is the father of a precious 3 year old little girl.

the things she had done but on what Jesus had done for her. Yet there were many who were present that did not see it that way. Simon the Pharisee could not see past the woman’s sins and apparently didn’t think Jesus should either. His thoughts recorded in Luke 7:39 show his hardheartedness, “If this man were a prophet he would know who was touching him and what kind of woman she is- that she is a sinner.” It seems this woman must have had a reputation that preceded her, and Simon, being a “religious” man, wanted nothing to do with her. I cringe to think how often similar scenes play out in churches across our nation. People with less-than-stellar reputations enter places of worship seeking redemption, but instead find only contempt and condemnation. How many times have we looked down on those in search of reprieve and offered only religion, forgetting that we also were once dead in our sins? Simon, however, was not the only one with a distorted view, for there were other guests present who said among themselves,

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). 4

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Jesus “Your sins are forgiven... Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” (Luke 7:49) They knew that only God could forgive sins, and yet this Man from Nazareth was claiming to be able to do so! Their perception of who Jesus was and what He could do was totally wrong. Sadly, we live in a world where this is still the case. Many (including some Christians) believe there is no forgiveness for them or certain others, that they have strayed too far and are beyond redemption. They fail to realize that nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom. 8:39). God does not measure us on what we have done. Rather, He desires for us to respond to His invitation to follow Him. If you are struggling to offer or accept forgiveness it is likely that you, too, have a distorted view of who Christ is. Much like the two men in the parable Jesus shares with those gathered in Simon’s house, we all owe a debt we cannot afford to pay (Luke 7:41-42). God’s standard is perfection and none of us measure up. But instead of giving us our due punishment, He came and lived the perfect life we couldn’t live and died the death our sins have warranted. He did this not because we earned or deserved such salvation, but because that is what true love

does, for “God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8). It is this same love shown to you that God is calling you to show others: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32). When we reflect on how much grace we have been shown, we are encouraged to share it with others. I am aware that some will insist on self-reproach in stating, “But you don’t know what they did to me,” or “You don’t know what I have done.” In the midst of feeling worthless, you may feel there is no chance of forgiveness, and I would have to agree in some measure. For in our own strength we don’t possess the power to receive or grant forgiveness. That kind of power can only be found in Christ. And so, like the woman in the passage above, we must come whole-heartedly and broken to the feet of Jesus. That is the true picture of worship and the only place to find forgiveness.

FORGIVENESS

IDENTITY: Salt of the Earth

Are You

Worth Your Salt? Salt is used as a preservative, as a seasoning, and was highly valuable in the ancient world–it was even used as currency for trade. Jesus encouraged us to be the “salt of the earth.” But what does this look like?

TIDBITS ON SALT “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”Mark 9:50 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”- Matthew 5:13 “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”- James 3:9-12 “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” - Colossians 4:5-6 As salt stops corruption and preserves the integrity of food, so followers of Christ in preserving the Word of Truth strive toward lessing the corruption of the world. Having salt in one’s speech was termed by the Greeks as attic salt, or “having refined, delicate wit.” The apostle Paul was surely familiar with this as evidenced by some of his instruction: “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).

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The word “salary” is derived from the Latin word salarium which was the salt ration given as payment to Roman soldiers. Mary Magdalene was from the city of Magdala which was known for its salt trade. The Chinese were pioneers in salt production; they would sink deep bamboo shafts into the ground to extract brine and boil it, leaving behind salt crystals... nearly 4,000 years ago! Salt that has been exposed to the sun or rain, or has been cast upon the ground, will lose its flavor and preserving quality. The exchange of salt for slaves in ancient Greece gave rise to the expression, “not worth his salt.” This could bring fresh insight concerning one being worth their salt as a slave of righteousness, “For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise, he who is called while free is Christ’s slave” (Rom. 6:18; 1 Cor. 7:22).

IDENTITY: Heavenly Home

expect to be in Heaven in the near future: both because of my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and because I do not expect to live much longer. I am 81, a cancer and open-heart surgery survivor. I am not improving or getting any younger but, praise the Lord, I will soon have a new body (maybe I will be 33 again) and be like Jesus!

People will say that I have died but actually I will be more alive and happier than ever! I think the first thing I will do when I get to Heaven is praise our Father God and thank Jesus repeatedly for paying the price of my sins through His death on the cross and crediting me with His righteousness and worthiness of Heaven. I imagine wanting to apologize to our God and Savior for my sins contributing to His suffering and death. Wow! Talk about shame and regret… Next, I think I will look for Mom and Dad. I was the youngest of three sons and very spoiled. My parents were both employed. Mom was an office worker for the U.S. government and my dad operated a machine that made the lead type used to print the newspaper. We were comfortably well off but not wealthy. Jo Ann and I were married in 1950. We were both nineteen and sophomores in college. Our parents paid our tuition and helped us with our living expenses. I became pastor of Trinity Methodist church in Margate City, near Atlantic City, when I was twenty. This church provided us with an apartment over their fellowship hall plus an annual salary of eighteen hundred dollars. We started having children about every eighteen months and had six of them by the time I graduated from seminary in 1960. During this first decade of marriage our parents were so generous, and I am not sure I ever adequately thanked them. Today in our retirement we live quite comfortably and it is due to both our Father’s care and that of our parents. I look forward to the opportunity in Heaven to thank them and to tell them how much I truly love them. There is also a Christian businessman I want to find. He owned two Christian radio stations. We were good friends and cared deeply for each other despite many dissimilarities! He contacted me to officiate at his wife’s funeral service, but when his own passing occurred I did not attend his

funeral observance because no one notified me of his death. It pains me that I was not there to pay my respects, yet I anticipate seeing him again in glory! There are numerous laymen I want to find from the seven churches we served in our 46 years of ministry. These are laymen who honestly loved us as we loved them. They were dear friends and our brothers and sisters in Christ. What a joy it will be to see them again! Do you think we will recognize each other? I think we will, though we shall have new bodies. Praise the Lord! No more groaning. No more pain or weakness. We are going to be like Jesus so there will be no more sin, and we shall serve Him perfectly. We will truly live in love. I pray that you will join me in accepting Jesus’ invitation to repent, believe, and follow Him (Mark 1:14-17). Then we can look for each other in Heaven and join together in worshipping the Father, the Son, and the Spirit! See you there! Praise the Lord!

PASTOR BRIDGE has been married to Jo Ann, his childhood sweetheart, for over 61 years. They pastored churches for 46 years. They no longer go on bicycle tours and race kayaks but they do enjoy rides on their motor cycle trike. Praise God!

RICHARD BRIDGE

FORGIVENESS

IDENTITY: Prisons

The Prison of Unfo BY GREG FRENCH

re you going to Hell? If we truly understood and took to heart the implications and the reality of hell, we would take more seriously the Word of God, finding truth and consequences in all that it says. The last vestige of our transient possessions in this life is our ability to determine whom we like or dislike. It’s the last place that we must go the moment before we die: Do I forgive or do I hold on to my anger forever? On answering this question there hinges heaven and hell, life and death, freedom and imprisonment. Why are we taught so little of this when our lives are so very dependent upon it? Forgiveness is the most basic foundation of our beliefs. It is the reason we believe in Christ, it is the reason He placed Himself upon the cross, and it is through this that we are allowed eternal life with Christ in Heaven.

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Moreover, eternity is entirely dependent on forgiveness, yet we are taught belief in Christ and not the reason why He is the Christ at all! This is the cross of Christ and why He died for you, that you might live forgiven of your sins. God says that to not forgive is to not be forgiven, for Jesus said, “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37, NKJV). Thus, as we are forgiven we must also forgive. How can that be interpreted any other way? Worldly souls condemn themselves to eternal judgment in hell, imprisoned by their sense of self-pride and lack of forgiveness. We are told to not judge them for they are already judged. If we are allowed to do anything at all, it is to forgive them of their trespasses in this world and toward ourselves. They are imprisoned within the walls in which they were born and still abide. Sadly, we Christians often imprison

ourselves within the walls of unforgiveness even after we have been freed from such prisons by Christ’s love. When we fail to forgive we recondemn ourselves for harboring unforgiveness, forcing ourselves into positions that cause us as much suffering as if we were never saved from Judgement. And the question must be asked, “If I fail to forgive, how can I remain forgiven?” There is a dire need for this teaching in the Church today. Many continue to harbor the cancer of unforgiveness within their hearts, imprisoned by their own need for vengeance or retribution (Romans 12:19). Often I have wondered how Stephen could forgive while being stoned, how the Lord could forgive upon the cross, how Peter and Paul forgave those who mocked, beat, tortured, and killed them. And only by the Spirit can I understand the nature of their forgiveness when, in terrible contrast, unforgiveness is a need to hurt a person in return. It is demanding a penalty of pain and damage against another while we sit in our self-created prison cell coldly awaiting our own judgment. Understanding this fact will hopefully open our eyes to the emotions we are allowing to control us. To hate or resent someone is an emotional response to a perceived wrong, and places blinders on our eyes. The Lord taught us saying, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matt. 6:12, KJV). We cannot disregard the applicability of these verses in our walk with the Lord. Additional Scripture reveals to us the need for and power of forgiveness not only from the Lord towards

rgiveness us, but from us towards others (John 20:23). Unforgiveness is a poison that we sometimes perpetuate within others as well as ourselves. By resenting and feuding with someone, we have created sin in their life, for which we are accountable before God (Matt. 5:22-26). Again, if we are to be forgiven then we must also forgive. We have received the gift of forgiveness from Christ, thus we must extend that gift to others as freely as we have received it. God gives us nothing that we are to hoard within ourselves, but all of His gifts are for us to grant to others. As Stephen was being stoned, he was extending the forgiveness of God towards those who meant him harm. He was effectually cleansing his own soul so that he would be forgiven of his own sins the moment he crossed over into heaven, yet this was not done out of any legalistic sense. Rather, Stephen understood wholly the implications of unforgiveness because he knew Christ and cherished His love, and in the last moment before he was to meet the Lord, love prevailed. We, therefore, must aspire to forgive for we are all a moment from death. Even Jesus understood the effects of unforgiveness. He knew we would create prisons for ourselves, and He provided His Word so that we may all know the perfect freedom of His love.

“I have nothing to say about myself other than I think my forte might be in the ministry of the nuts and bolts of God’s Word. It’s an active Word that necessitates the action of its participants. It is a “If He abides in me and I in Him, ask what you will and it will be done for Him,” ministry. GREG FRENCH

“Father, forgive them...”

FORGIVENESS

RELATIONSHIPS: Missions

Making Disciples of All Nations FOCUS: NORTHERN AFRICA

rimarily all of the North African nations are classified as “restricted” to Christianity, a few are even classified as “hostile” toward Christians with some nations progressing toward such hostility due to Islamic jihad, civil wars, and outright barbarism. A collective survey of North Africa yields a concentration of 82.9% Muslim, 13.9% Christian, and the remaining 3.2%

consisting of indigenous religions and animism.* Signet Ring recently contacted “Beth” and inquired of both her evangelistic outreach and status in her country of service. We are truly thankful to have disciples of her caliber spreading the Gospel in places where it is most urgent. Beth started following Jesus early in life and by the time she was in her teens she knew she wanted to share Christ with the

*www.persecution.com/public/restrictednations.aspx 10

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orphans and the destitute in lands that have yet to be reached with the Gospel. Beth is currently living in North Africa learning the language and working with street boys’ centers, teaching art and serving as needed. She states that “It’s a crazy life and there are hard days, but it’s such a gift. I can’t believe I get to live here!” For the sake of sensitivity and security, some specifics have been altered. [As of early 2013 the safety of Beth

RELATIONSHIPS: Missions and those with whom she works and lives (in her country of service) has been threatened. Please pray for her protection and strength to fulfill Jesus’ call on her life wherever He leads her.] HOW DID GOD LEAD YOU INTO THIS MISSION WORK AND WHAT IS YOUR ROLE IN THE MINISTRY? I have wanted to live in Africa since I was about 16. I never pictured myself living in a Muslim country, but after a period of working and waiting this was the door that God clearly opened, and I ran through it! Presently I am almost two years into my first term in North Africa. It has been spent learning the language, building relationships, and mostly working with two street boys’ centers. I teach them art and handicrafts, using it to build revenue for them and the centers, and I spend time trying to pour the love and attention into their lives that they are aching for.

is illegal to do Christian teaching with the boys from Muslim backgrounds.

ARE YOU ABLE TO SHARE THE GOSPEL AND DISCIPLE PEOPLE FREELY IN YOUR COUNTRY OF SERVICE?

PLEASE TELL OF SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE WAS IMPACTED WITH THE GOSPEL AND OF THE CHANGE YOU SAW IN THEIR LIFE.

No. I live in a closed Muslim country. I can speak of Christ, but any whiff of evangelization to the government will get a person kicked out of the country and/ or imprisoned. I have seen both things happen to friends and fellow workers. I speak freely of my love for Christ with friends and language teachers, as well as at the centers. But I do need to be careful, especially at the centers. There is more scrutiny lately from the government and it

This country is still largely unreached with the Gospel. It is very much still in the “sowing of seeds” stage, if you will. There is “harvesting” going on, but that’s with workers who have been here for many, many years. I have only been here two years. That may sound like a lot, but it’s not. I have absolutely heard and seen the evidence of the Lord moving in hearts and lives here, but I have not personally led anyone to the Lord. Since so much of my time is spent at the centers, that is where I have largely seen the Lord moving. Jesus Christ is transforming boys from the streets from drunk, glue sniffing, angry kids to boys who are happy, joyful, and doing well in school. I see them stop running away, learning to trust and receive love. I see them transition from not knowing anything of Jesus to singing songs about Him. I see graduated boys, who ten years prior were in the same place in life as the younger ones, taking the time to invest in them, loving them like brothers. These boys are walking witnesses of God’s redemptive grace. They are the future of the church here. Pray that the seeds planted in them will be spread far and wide. The impact of the Gospel can

Missionary Beth

be sudden and huge, but sometimes it is a kingdom that is slowly built. That is what I have seen in my time here so far. As I, Godwilling, continue to live in this land, I long and pray to see it spread even more. WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR MOST NOTICEABLE SPIRITUAL CHANGE SINCE YOU BEGAN MINISTRY AS A MISSIONARY? Oh goodness! I still don’t feel spiritual enough to even carry the title of “missionary,” and I still have so much to learn. Each season brings change. We can always die to self more. My first year I learned a lot about God’s provision and resting in His provision for all my needs- mental, physical, emotional. In this most recent season I have learned about courage, and that fear is a sin. Fear is opposite of faith and trust, two essentials to a life following Jesus. There is so much I don’t know, so little in my control in this life. Maybe I won’t get a return visa, maybe I’ll be kicked out, maybe the centers will be shut down. Maybe I’ll be robbed again or have another house fire. Probably I will be treated inappropriately by men… perhaps even every day this week. But I will not fear. No matter what comes, I will not fear. I will speak the truth, even if my voice shakes. I will trust in the Lord, leaving only my fear for Him and none for man. God is for me, what can man do to me? FORGIVENESS

RELATIONSHIPS: Missions all over the world. It is a much longer service than most in the US and you never know what a service may bring, but it is a Spirit-filled place and one I am so grateful I get to attend weekly. PLEASE DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL BIBLE STUDY AND PRAYER SCHEDULE IN THE MISSION FIELD. IS IT DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN?

WHAT IS THE GREATEST SPIRITUAL NEED IN YOUR MINISTRY? PHYSICAL NEED? There is increasing persecution against Christians. Earlier this year a church compound where one of the boys’ centers I work with was attacked. Destroyed. Christians have a great deal of uncertainty about the future. Even the futures of our street boys’ centers are not certain. So the greatest spiritual need is prayers for protection and peace. The physical need is for believers to simply be in country, but more so to be a good witness even under pressure, lending surety to those around them. Many Christian “workers” here face uncertain futures about visas and such. There is no guarantee any of us will be able to stay in the country. There is fighting and war all over. Racial and cultural wars, religious persecutions and genocides. It is 12

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I try to spend time in the Word every day. I am usually able to. Lately I have also been enjoying the writings of Henri Nouwen. I spend a good deal of time during the day on foot or public transport, spending much of those times talking with God. Journaling has been an integral part of my spiritual growth for many years. This is how I process and slow down to listen to God. There absolutely are occasions where I find it difficult to find time to be in the Word, and if I do, to have the concentration to glean anything from it. There are days or weeks that I am so mentally, emotionally, and physically drained (9 months of the year here the temperature is in triple digits!) that it’s an easy thing to neglect. I meet at least weekly with other believers for corporate prayer. It functions as a sort of accountability as well. It’s so important to be saturated with God’s Word if I hope to have anything to give. Time with other, older, wiser believers has certainly been integral to my growth here. overwhelming, really. But we trust in the Lord Who goes before us and is over all! PLEASE SHARE YOUR CHURCH EXPERIENCE AND WORSHIP IN YOUR COUNTRY OF SERVICE (HOW ARE CHURCH SERVICES DIFFERENT OR ALIKE?). I live in the capital city and there is an international church that has an English service. The service is on Friday (coinciding with the Muslim holy day) and there are probably 150-200 people from all over the world that attend. It is maybe 25% Western with a few Asians, and the remainder of people are from all over Africa. Every week it’s like a taste of what heaven will be like. Worship is semi-Western, but heavily African. Though there is a pastor, he shares the pulpit often and we frequently get to hear from people

WHAT MOST ENCOURAGES YOU AND WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST IN YOUR MISSIONAL WORK/SERVICE? There is a deep-rooted joy and satisfaction in being here. I feel entirely confident that this is where the Lord opened the door for me to go. When times are rough I still absolutely want to be here. This certainty keeps me going. Positive encouragement from other workers about the work I’m doing with the boys is great emotional fuel as well. The absolute best thing has been that as I have increased in language and communication ability, I get to build direct relationships. When I feel like I am able to share life and go deeper with people, especially people that I could not be any more different from, it is altogether amazing!

RELATIONSHIPS: Fellowship

In-Step Ministries ich and Geri Campbell of Hebron, KY are living a normal life raising two young children, and are doing their best to serve God with everything they have. In 2003 they started a traveling drama outreach called In-Step Ministries, and now, eight years later, they are still at it. In 2012, they logged 5,700 miles of travel with over 20 bookings! Their ministry faithfully exhibits the message of God’s love and forgiveness which reaches across denominations, ethnicity, gender, and age. Signet Ring had the pleasure of discussing with Geri the heart of In-Step Ministries. WHAT IS IN-STEP MINISTRIES? In-Step Ministries is a drama ministry with four original programs, but one underlying theme: the message of God’s love and forgiveness. I am the actress and writer, and Rich is a behind-the-scenes tech guy, so when God called us to full time ministry, visual arts seemed the perfect way to proclaim the Gospel to a lost and dying world. We travel all over the US ministering the message of God’s love and forgiveness in churches, conferences, camps, half-way houses and prisons.

OUR MISSION STATEMENT: “Since we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Gal. 5:25 Dedicated to serving the Lord through the arts by proclaiming God’s unrelenting love and unending mercy while partnering with, unifying, and uplifting those who also heed His call, thus keeping in step with the Holy Spirit, and each other, in order that we might reach a lost and dying world with the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

FORGIVENESS

RELATIONSHIPS: Fellowship HOW DID GOD CALL YOU INTO THIS MINISTRY? WHEN? WAS ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED TO START THE MINISTRY? Rich grew up in church, but I have a different story. I was saved at the age of 14 but turned my back on the Lord. There were some dark years. Something happened to me in my early 20’s that broke my heart, and I felt that God didn’t care about me, that He didn’t love me. I decided to leave church and walk away from the Lord forever. I tried to forget that I ever knew Him and I returned to my sinful life. The trouble was, I couldn’t forget Him. It was like Jesus was running after me, pursuing me. After seven years of being away from church and away from my Christian friends, God was still there, trying to get my attention. One night I was alone in my bedroom, and out of nowhere the presence of God and His love just filled the room. I remember thinking, “No Lord, go away, I don’t deserve to be in Your presence. Don’t you know what I have become? Maybe once I could have served you and loved you, maybe once when I was a good girl, maybe once when I was in Bible college, but not now. Not after all I’ve done.” Then for the first time in my life, the only time, I literally felt the arms of Jesus wrap around me. Then, in my heart, I heard the Lord whisper the words, “You are my beautiful bride.” I wondered how He could still call me that. Yet it was that night I fell to my knees in tears and repentance, and said, “Lord, if You’ll take me back, I promise I will use my gifts and

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talents to tell other people that there is always a way back home to You.” It took me a whole year sitting in my car on my lunch hour, but I wrote The Story of Gomer during that time. I performed it at my home church for a ladies’ tea and word of mouth spread. I had fourteen bookings in the first year! That is how it all started. IN WHAT WAYS HAVE YOU SEEN IN-STEP MINISTRIES HELP WITH AN INDIVIDUAL’S SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT? We have testimonies of marriages being healed and of people experiencing unconditional love for the first time during our plays. We know a lady who told us two years of marriage counseling suddenly became real to her as she watched Hosea forgive Gomer. That is what keeps us going. HOW DOES YOUR MINISTRY EXEMPLIFY CHRIST’S LOVE? One of our original plays is called Eve Remembered. It shows how sin came

into the world through man’s disobedience, and that sin is what hurts us, not God. The play points toward the love of a Savior, and toward the hope-filled promise of Genesis 3:15. Eve Remembered is an in-depth look at the day that Cain kills Abel, and at Eve’s reaction to the pain of sin. I wrote this play because so many people in today’s world turn away from God because they wonder how a loving God could allow such pain. I know, I’ve been there. It is only when we realize we brought suffering upon ourselves

by disobeying God (Adam was the first to disobey and thus we are all sinners) that we realize God is not hurting us. He is not to blame, for through His love He kept His promise to provide a way out, to provide a way back to Him through Jesus Christ. OF THE PORTRAYALS THAT YOU HAVE DONE, DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE AND/OR WHICH ONE HAS IMPACTED YOU THE MOST? The Story of Gomer, which is the love story between Hosea the prophet and Gomer the prostitute (see the book of Hosea). Of all my shows, the message of Hosea is really my heart. In this hour long, one person play, I pour out my personal testimony into the script. I can truly identify with Gomer, a woman who had to be forgiven time after time. Every time Gomer ran away, her husband Hosea was running after her, waiting for her to turn to him. That is so much like Jesus. WHERE DO YOU SEE THE LORD LEADING THIS MINISTRY IN THE NEXT 5 YEARS? We had always hoped that our drama ministry would support our family at some point, but after eight years we both still work full time jobs and travel as much as we can using weekends and vacation time. Sometimes people give up because they see success as making a living at their ministry. But every time I get tired or discouraged all I can think of is that God’s heart is broken, and He wants to run after those sheep who have wandered away. Therefore, I need to be His arms, His hands, His feet- just as any disciple of Christ should be. I know He has used me and the shows that I perform to call His people back to His heart. I have taken 2013 off from traveling to commit to writing the novel of The Story of Gomer. The book can reach people I could never reach just doing the play, so I hope the next five years finds us with the novel published and perhaps even a feature length film. Only God knows where it will take us; all I know is I’m keeping In-step with Him! You can read more about us and watch for info on the release of the novel, The Story of Gomer, at in-stepministries.com

RELATIONSHIPS: Fellowship

RICH AND GERI live in Hebron, KY and in addition to running their own drama ministry, they are also both employed by Answers in Genesis, a non-profit apologetics ministry where Rich runs the print shop and Geri is in Guest Services at the Creation Museum. They have a twelve year old daughter Mercy, a nine year old son named Chris, and two cats, Big Kitty and Little Kitty. What do they do in their off time? SLEEP!

FORGIVENESS

RELATIONSHIPS: Evangelism

Evangelism JON SCOTT BIRCH

orgiveness and unforgiveness are matters of the heart, they are not merely topics to address by way of intellect. Yet how many of us legalistically proclaim “forgiveness” from behind the bars of our spiritual prisons of secretly and notso-secretly harbored cynicism, selfishness, sadness, emptiness, hatred, and anger? Far too often and far too easily we talk of Truth and propriety with no intention of truly being proper in our ethic, except, perhaps, before those who would expect such decency. And we are proudly unrepentant of this, forgetting that there is freedom in being forgiven. For when we cease to forgive as we have been forgiven by Jesus Christ, a spirit of un-forgiveness flourishes and births all manner of evil (2 Cor. 2:10-11).

“Upon being pressed concerning the stoning of the adulteress, Jesus began to write on the ground with His finger...”

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Without Legalism So why do we fear men and their judgment rather than the One Who ultimately judges our hearts? Do we know who we are? Do we know Whose we are? My heart aches to see so many of Jesus’ own “leaving their first love,” which is Jesus Himself (Rev. 2:4). Their former eagerness and fierceness in holding fast to Christ has faded and been exchanged for a holding fast to self, adopting a fainthearted devotion to Jesus’ teaching while neglecting Him as Teacher, leading to fainthearted prayers that seek only what God can give rather than worshiping Who He is. Indeed, a darkness has crept into the Church Body that steals hope, breaks the human spirit, and wears down the soul to the point of despair. The world itself is broken, though Jesus offers comfort in His counsel that because lawlessness abounds, the love of many will grow cold; but he who endures to the end shall be saved (Matt. 24:12-13). And who can endure to the end? No one, save those who cling to Christ alone as Savior and Lord. The enemy is sowing doubt, suffering, and despair as never before. In turn, the testing of Jesus’ followers (particularly in the West) will demand discipline and sacrifice as never before. Being that the prison of un-forgiveness of self and others is the root of most people’s emotional and spiritual pain, it is our objective via Isaiah 61:1 and John 14:12 to work with Christ through relationships and revelation toward freeing those around us from such darkness. Though we must ask ourselves, Have we been set free from bondage through the same? If not, then speaking of being unbound from any bondage will ring silent, for it is our living example of being liberated in Christ that fills the hollow of hearts in desperate need. Just as the Word became flesh and dwelt among men, so our words must become flesh that supplies substance to what we preach lest our counsel be barren. Think of the adulteress who sought forgiveness at Jesus’ feet, and received

it. She had been brought to Jesus by the Jewish “judge and jury” to be stoned according to the Law (Lev. 20:10; John 8:1-11), but Jesus fulfilled the Law by loving her and offering grace (Matt. 5:17). The infinite power of forgiveness was demonstrated as Jesus expressed His love for the woman by averting swift judgment and emboldening her to “sin no more.” Surprisingly, there is also a commonly overlooked expression of mercy toward the woman’s accusers embedded within this incident. Upon being pressed concerning the stoning of the adulteress, Jesus began to write on the ground with His finger, then challenged that any among them without sin should cast the first stone. Of course, all standing in judgment of the woman encountered a conviction of conscience and so left with no stones pitched. But what was Jesus writing on the ground? Jeremiah 17:13 provides revelation: “O LORD, the hope of Israel, all who forsake You shall be ashamed. Those who depart from Me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the

LORD, the fountain of living waters.” The forgiven adulteress undoubtedly has her name written, not in the earth, but in the Lamb’s Book of Life (Rev. 21:27). The potency of forgiveness cannot be trivialized and should never be undervalued in the life of one who claims to follow Jesus.

JON BIRCH is cofounder of Recover Church, a discipleshipdriven movement purposing to recover and promote the early church model as recorded in the book of Acts where Christ, close relationships, and discipleshipapologetics were the pillars of Christianity. He is also the author of Simplifying the Complex. For more information visit www.veritasunum. org.

FORGIVENESS

RELATIONSHIPS: Marriage

Forgiveness Unp TROY AND DIONNE RAY

TROY’S VIEW:

Pastor Troy

Dionne

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Defining forgiveness can be accomplished in many ways, utilizing a variety of metaphors and word pictures; but what comes to mind as I color forgiveness in my own thinking involves birds. There is nothing more sad then seeing a flightless bird struggle on the ground because it has injured its wing. It is vulnerable to predators and will soon die if it is not relieved. Forgiveness is like giving flight to a helpless sparrow. When people commit wrongdoings they become weighted under the guilt of their offenses. To forgive is to give the guilty fresh wings. The art of forgiveness is a skill that we discover many times throughout our life. A life of forgiving cannot be ignored for it is typically a daily adventure that becomes so common place that it is often taken for granted, ignored, and regulated to everyday life. Rarely do we see the practice of forgiveness as a spiritual enterprise that is shaping who we are and who we are becoming. To forgive is to embrace our own humanity, acknowledging the simple yet profound truth that each of us is capable of any crime and any offense. The statement “I can’t believe you did that!” or “I can’t believe you said that” disconnects us from the fullness of forgiveness because it sets the stage for pride and superiority. In truth, as we approach forgiveness, we should say within ourselves, “Yes, I can see how you would do that or say that because I too am human.” Concerning marriage, one could view it like a studio in which couples learn to paint. Sharing forgiveness with your spouse allows you to become the rescuer of the wounded bird, giving your spouse the ability to heal and fly again.

plugged DIONNE’S VIEW: When I was a child, I thought forgiveness was something that was owed to me if I simply said, “I’m sorry” (even if I had my fingers crossed behind my back). As a young adult, I understood forgiveness to be something that I gave to someone if they begged and pleaded for it and then promised to never hurt or disappoint me again in life. And you know what that got me? More hurt and disappointment. Now, as a married woman of 22 years, I have discovered a new way of viewing forgiveness. The compound word forgive contains two words: FOR and GIVE. Depending on the situation, I now say, “FOR the sake of our friendship, I will GIVE you understanding.” “FOR the sake of our children, I will to GIVE you the benefit of the doubt.” “FOR the sake of your heart for me, I will GIVE you grace.” “FOR the sake of the forgiveness I have received from Jesus Christ, I will GIVE you an extra dose of love.” Etc, etc, etc. You fill in the blanks. Looking at forgiveness in this way has empowered me to be generous with this special gift. So you may be asking, “But what can my spouse and I do so that we don’t find ourselves needing forgiveness so much?” Here are a few tools we have used over the years that have been beneficial for our relationship.

FORGIVENESS

RELATIONSHIPS: Marriage

FORGIVING YOURSELF It is impossible to completely forgive another if we cannot forgive ourselves. Selfforgiveness is like self-love. Jesus said that we are to love others as we love ourselves. He was operating under the assumption that we naturally love and care for ourselves. In order to do the same with forgiveness, we must lose our false ideas of perfection. This side of heaven, we will never be perfect. Sin will be part of our story until we meet God. This does not mean that we treat sin lightly, but it should mean that we forgive ourselves abundantly and often. It has been my experience that I have discovered God’s grace for me only after some bout with failure. Jesus has whispered His love to my heart in moments of weakness and wrongdoing and reminded me of His eternal commitment to me. Yet, at times, I have failed to forgive myself. If I am to extend the kindness of forgiveness to Dionne, I should frequently give it to myself. God already has forgiven me and if I resist self-forgiveness, it weakens the forgiveness I offer to my wife. CHECKING-IN One of the greatest tools that Dionne and I have used over the years is something we call checking-in. We have always been intrigued by how couples communicate in public. Together we have witnessed many good moments when spouses honor one another with kind, respectful words and warm touches. We have also witnessed the opposite where couples criticize each other and demean a person’s character.

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It is not difficult to imagine why some struggle in their relationships, particularly if it is so easy to treat one another with disrespect around others. After recognizing this for a while, we decided to always ask each other if anything was said or done that made the other feel uncomfortable or disrespected. We simply take turns asking, “Did I say or do anything that bothered you tonight?” This has been so very valuable for us. There have been times when I had to tell Dionne that I didn’t like it when she interrupted me in the middle of a conversation, and she has had to tell me that she did not like a particular comment or joke. We answer each other honestly and quickly, not giving the issue time to grow. We have made this such a habit that we instinctively became good at not having many offenses between us. Often it is the little things that produce problems in a relationship – like little foxes that spoil the vine. If we can learn to end problems before they begin, we will find ourselves needing to forgive less and enjoy one another more. VAULT TALK: When I think about vaults, I picture Fort Knox or, on a smaller scale, a safety deposit box at a bank. These vaults contain very precious treasures and only a few people have access to them. Over the years, we have developed a vault where either of us can share anything without risk of judgment or condemnation. For a moment, we take off the husband/wife hat and become honest friends. During this time of sharing, there is no fear of rejection or abandonment. The pressure of hurting the other’s feelings or creating an argument is lifted. It is

simply a space to be completely vulnerable and transparent when dealing with a topic that isn’t normally involved in everyday life. After the conversation has ended and closure is achieved, it is locked away in the vault, accruing value, only to be brought out and cashed in when mutually agreed upon by both of us. So, what kinds of conversations deserve to go in the vault? Here’s one. After being a stay-at-homeschooling mom for 11 years, I went to work at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore. I loved my job and felt a new sense of accomplishment. What I wasn’t prepared for was the attention I started to receive from males on campus. Whether it was a professor or a college student, this interest affected me. It was time to go the vault. I told Troy that we needed to go to the vault when he was ready. Once ‘there’ I was able to freely share how it all made me feel great about myself, how I momentarily thought about what clothes I would wear to work, etc. The beauty of having this vault talk was that before we even began, our guards were down. I wasn’t worried that I would somehow make Troy feel inadequate as a husband and he wasn’t tempted to say something like, “WHAT! I don’t give you enough attention??!!” Instead, he listened like a friend and encouraged me like a sister. Once this was locked away, we were stronger as husband and wife. Now, you must know that this concept only works if you are completely honest the first time you go to the vault. You can’t say, “Remember that vault talk we had five months ago about x, y, and z? Well, a, b,

gives himself to people. Because I accepted him, he didn’t have to beg for forgiveness. We were at peace. and c also happened and I’m telling you now because…” This scenario is a recipe for disaster! ACCEPTANCE VS. FORGIVENESS Another tool that has been useful for us is learning the difference between when acceptance is needed versus forgiveness. Many times I was trying to find it in my heart to forgive Troy, when really, I needed to accept the beautiful creation God had formed in him. This comes easier with time as you get to know one another. Each time you check-in after being in the company of others, or have a vault conversation, you are growing in your understanding of one another. The deeper this understanding goes, the easier it is to trust the other person’s heart and diffuse offense before it has a chance to turn into a situation where forgiveness is needed. I remember a time when Troy and I were at the store. We decided to split up to get one or two items and meet back at line 12. Well, I got my item and was at line 12 in no time. I waited, and waited, and waited. I realized I had a choice to make. I could have stomped through the store trying to find him, stayed there fixing the look on my face so when he finally turned the corner he would know how mad I was, or I could’ve had a talk with myself, reminding me of his heart for me and how he would never want me waiting alone like this unless it was for something important. So, I picked up a magazine and waited some more. Sure enough, when he got to me, he quickly apologized then explained who he was talking to and why. Thankfully, I was already in a good place mentally and I had an opportunity to re-accept why I love him so much in the first place- he generously

BEYOND RELIGION As we think about the many layers of forgiveness, it is important that we rid ourselves of religious language and legalism that actually prevents forgiveness. It is very easy to hide behind religious activity and never truly forgive or ask for forgiveness. Religion in some forms can mistakenly give us a license to be dishonest. Growing up in church, everyone seemed to ‘have it all together.’ You’ve heard it said that people wear their best masks to church. But what would happen in the church if married couples could be honest about what is happening in their relationships without the fear of judgment or rejection? How many homes could be saved if more honesty was expressed? What would happen if we learned to be vulnerable with our fears, temptations, failures, and triumphs? Could we begin to see statistics move in a more positive direction? Let’s endeavor to have honest, caring, and healing relationships so we can soar… just like the birds.

From L-R: Dionne, Troy, Jordan, Jeremy, Ericka, Joshua Pastor Troy and Dionne have served the congregation of Freshwater Dream Center for 6 years. They fellowship at 921 Mt. Hermon Rd. Salisbury, MD 21804. For more info visit: freshdreams.org

FORGIVENESS

LIFE: Dealing with Difficult People

Forgiveness is Not Optional CANDY ABBOTT

ray for me to be able to forgive my husband,” Kitty confided as she took a seat in a chair that our Sisters in Christ affectionately call “The Lord’s Lap.” Two other prayer partners and I stood over her. “Pray for my attitude,” Kitty added as we gently laid our hands on her head and shoulders.

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Words formed in my Spirit, and I sensed a prophetic message coming— something new to me. When I opened my mouth to repeat what my spirit heard, my own voice startled me. It came out loud and authoritative—a booming, amplified sound— that originated not from my mind but from the very depths of my being. I was as eager to learn the profound truth I was about to utter as Kitty must have been. The message came haltingly, one word or phrase at a time, and I spoke it as it came: “Forgiveness.” “Is not.” “A nice thing.” What? I could barely breathe. That makes no sense! During the pregnant pause while I stood there feeling like a fool with “Forgiveness is not a nice thing” hanging in the air, rather than interject some flimsy explanation of my own, I waited. The women waited. And then the Lord formed the remaining words in my spirit: “. . . It is required of all who call themselves My children.” I can’t speak for Kitty, but those words changed my life. Since that day, I began to see forgiveness as mandatory, not something I could take or leave based on how heavy or light the offense. Over the years, I have learned to forgive quickly and thoroughly, which is so freeing! People can say and do horrendous things, but the pain they inflict, intentional or unintentional, has no hold on me. Forgiveness breaks its power. To nurse a grievance and rehash it only serves to keep me stirred up and in bondage. Some things are easier to relinquish than others. On occasion, I may still wallow in the injustice for a few days—but the sooner I forgive, the sooner I am able to go on my merry way, unencumbered. I had the privilege of working with a man known for his positive influence and ability to get things done. For two decades, I enjoyed working side-by-side with him. But then he changed. He suffered multiple health problems and nearly died. After surviving emergency surgery, he had a miraculous recovery and returned to work. But instead of his optimistic self, my co-workers and I quickly realized his personality had become, well, tyrannical.

SEVEN THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT PERSON: Critical and demanding, I felt the brunt of his verbal abuse day-in and day-out. So, every day, I had the choice to let his remarks wound me and keep score of the incidents—or forgive him often and thoroughly. After all, there would be more the next day, and the day after that. I couldn’t afford to let these things consume me or I would become bitter and tied up in knots... and what kind of Christian witness would that be? Other co-workers felt the sting, too, and looked to me as an emotional barometer. “How is he today?” “How do you do it—how do you stay so relaxed and cheerful when it’s like walking on egg shells around here?” I’d say things like, “Forgive is an action verb.” I put this and other positive sayings on cards and kept them in my desk drawer for quick reference. On occasion, I handed them out. Never have I been so dependent on my Bible. In clinging to it, I discovered that I couldn’t forgive by my own determination. For it to be authentic, I had to be connected to the Vine and let the Lord do the forgiving in and through me (see John 15:5). I prayed the Fruit of the Spirit for my co-worker (see Galatians 5:22-23). Every day for one week, I would ask the Lord to grow “love” in him . . . the next week, “joy” . . . the next week, “peace” . . . “patience,” etc. There seemed to be fewer incidents during those weeks—my co-worker seemed less confrontational. Others commented that the atmosphere had changed. Whether God was working in my co-worker, I can’t say, but by exhibiting these qualities, the Holy Spirit impacted my own attitude and perspective. If insults or barbs came my way, I practiced letting them roll off. After a while, these things no longer penetrated my peace of mind. It became “normal” for me to not take offense. My co-worker didn’t ask to be this way. I doubt if he even knew how his behavior affected those around him. But even if he were the kind of person who took pride in being annoying and cantankerous, it wouldn’t make any difference. We all have faults and needs. I read something once that has stayed with me: “People who are the most obnoxious are the ones who need love the most.”

COMMIT TO FORGIVE. If you are a child of God, forgiveness is not optional, nor is it easy. But it is beneficial. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NIV). FORGIVE QUICKLY. Don’t let the hurt and anger fester or you will be in bondage, giving power to negative words or actions. “If you are angry, do not let it become sin. Get over your anger before the day is finished” (Ephesians 4:6 NLV).

STAY IN YOUR BIBLE. Get a red-letter edition, and read the words of Jesus. Savor them. Let them breathe life and peace into you as you embrace the very mind of Christ. “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had” (Romans 15:5 NIV). PRAY FOR THOSE WHO IRRITATE OR TORMENT YOU. Nothing will help you flip the switch from anger to compassion faster than praying blessings on those you’d rather smack in the face. Take it to the Lord in prayer. “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44 NIV).

BE KIND. If it doesn’t come naturally to show kindness to a mean-spirited person, think in terms of killing him or her with kindness. When we practice forgiveness, we preach without words. The tone you set may even serve as a catalyst that will inspire someone else to forgive. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). REMEMBER, IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. Forgiveness is not about you and your emotional pain. It’s about God’s sacrificial love and your willingness to apply His example to your life. As a child of God, you are required to: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above [yourself], not looking to your own interests but . . . to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4 NIV).

FORGIVE IN GOD’S STRENGTH, NOT YOUR OWN. To forgive as far as east is from west, you’ll need divine intervention. Connect to Christ at a root level, and let Him do the work. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love” (John 15:5, 10 NIV).

CANDY ABBOTT is an author, publisher, inspirational speaker, and grandmom. But most of all, she sees herself as a “fruitbearer” as it is her life’s goal to exhibit the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) in all that she does. She began writing in 1983, around the same time she co-founded Sisters in Christ. Candy is a charter member of Southern Delaware Toastmasters, elder and deacon at the Georgetown Presbyterian Church, director of the annual Fruitbearer conference, founder of Delmarva Christian Writers’ Fellowship, and president of the Delaware Association of American Mothers. She and her husband Drew own and operate Fruitbearer Publishing, LLC. They have three children and four grandchildren, all in close proximity to their home in Georgetown, DE. Visit www.fruitbearer.com or www.fruitbearerevents.com. FORGIVENESS

LIFE: Forgiveness vs. Remorse

onsider the vastly different ends to the lives of Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter. Both were hung on trees, but only one of them was hung (and crucified headdown) for Christ’s sake. As one of the Twelve, Judas would have known Jesus and His teachings intimately, witnessing firsthand the unfolding of His ministry of love, self-sacrifice, and revelation. Though Jesus foreknew Judas’ betrayal, His choice of Judas as one of the Twelve was not tainted with failure, it is simply a formidable example of Jesus allowing anyone, along with their imperfections (no matter how severe), the opportunity to follow Him. Despite Judas’ penchant to pursue his own will (ultimately to his doom) he was offered and afforded numerous occasions to repent, and though his final doom was an inevitability so that Scripture would be fulfilled (John 13:18) there is also Scriptural proof that Judas’ own free will was not violated 1. Moreover, his wretched choices were made even after being advised and warned of his evil intentions and ill fate. This brings us to the question of Judas’ damnation or salvation. Matthew 27:3-5 reveals that when he saw Jesus being taken to Pilate, Judas regretted his betrayal, but he did not repent. And his immediate actions indicate that he remained unsaved from damnation, for in his guilt he returns the blood money he had accepted and then hangs himself. He never asks for mercy or to be forgiven. Such is the conduct of a despairing guilt-ridden conscience and anguishing spirit, not a renewed conscience and forgiven spirit. Even Judas’ admission “I have sinned” is not a confession to faith, it is merely an accurate observation. Also,

“...Peter excelled in that he placed his faith in the Person of Christ rather than in himself or an ideal.”

Forgiveness, The Power of

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during one of Jesus’ prayers to His Father He refers to Judas as “the son of perdition” (John17:12), meaning one who is headed toward destruction and personal ruin. Although His prayer was prophetic in nature, Jesus’ foreknowledge did not rob Judas of his self-determination- Judas’ own actions continually confirmed his own rebellion. In contrast to Judas there is Simon Peter, who chose to pursue Christ in spite of his own obstinacy. Peter discerns early in his discipleship that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, but stumbles habitually through being directly influenced by Satan and rebuking Jesus, denying any association with Jesus, cutting off the ear of a high priest’s servant, and failing to watch and pray during Jesus’ most critical hour of need 2. Yet where Judas failed, Peter excelled in that he placed his faith in the Person of Christ rather than in himself or an ideal. And Peter never lost sight of Who Jesus was or the salvation Jesus offered, humbly owning his personal flaws and striving to grow in Christ’s grace and knowledge (2 Peter 3:18) 3. Herein, Peter remained free of the shackles of remorse. In the fullness of his time, the apostle Peter accomplished his mission for the Kingdom and gave his life by taking up his own cross and dying upon it. We each have a cross to bear as we follow Jesus Christ, and though we may not be crucified upon our “crosses” we must surely crucify our flesh daily and entreat the Spirit to empower us to also fulfill the Law, by loving God and loving others. Jesus’ spiritual authority was in direct proportion to His intimacy with the Father, thus our spiritual authority will be in direct proportion to our intimacy with Jesus...

“Judas regretted his betrayal, but he did not repent.”

Remorse The Doom of

1 John 6:70-71; 13:10-11, 18, 21-27; Matt. 26:25, 50 2 John 6:68-69; Matt. 16:22-23; 26:69-75; John 18:10; Mark 14:37-42 3 Acts 2:14-41; 3:110; 1 Peter 4:1-2

JON SCOTT BIRCH

FORGIVENESS

LIFE: Recommended Reads

Reading Disciple The

BY CHELSEA SWAIN

CHELSEA SWAIN is a disciple of Christ. She is married to Steve Swain and they have two beautiful daughters and a baby boy.

orgiveness. You can pray for it. You can yearn for it. You can seek it. But how do you know that you have truly forgiven someone with all of your heart? It is not something that can be done simply with words. It is something that must be a spiritual work done in your heart with the help of God. We all know that wounds do not often heal overnight, and some wounds are certainly deeper than others. These take time and need proper care and attention. Deep wounds, if not cared for properly, could become infected and in turn infect your entire body. Likewise, do not let your unforgiveness infect your whole body and make you bitter. Give it to God. Pray about it, continually, and God will change your heart. In giving our heavenly Father control of our lives and allowing Him to take care of our healing we find that He is willing to help bear even our deepest pains. For the multitude of sins we have committed, God could have given up on us long ago. Instead, God chose to love us, to wait, to be a gentleman, and forgive us when we turn to Him. If the God of the universe can pardon our sins, how much more should we pardon the sins of others? Ephesians 4:32 instructs us to “Be kind to one another, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” And Romans 12:2 states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

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To be sure that we are seeking spiritual healing and nourishment, we must be connected to the true Vine, Jesus Christ (John 15:5), and through seeking His Kingdom first forgiveness will abound and God will transform your heart and renew your mind so that you can move on to what He has for you. Here are a few reading suggestions to help you stay connected to our Father: I am a huge fan of Joyce Meyer. I love how her words are so convicting and not condemning, yet also powerful and motivating. In her book Anxious For Nothing she encourages readers to trust fully on God and seek His Kingdom and His will above all else. Meyer reminds us

of the sound counsel found in Matthew 6:34, “Do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own troubles.” This is a familiar passage we often quickly forget. Another great point Meyer shares is that when we find ourselves in a state of frustration, we are probably trying to do God’s work for Him. As followers of Christ, we need to be spiritually mature and seek Gods will before our own (James 4:15). We do this by staying connected to God through an active prayer life and also through personal communication and fellowship with other believers. When we are patient we will see that God is faithful. Another book I would recommend is The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. Whether you are married or single this is an amazing read. Keller states that, “Marriage is not about personal fulfillment. It was created to be a reflection on the human level of our ultimate love relationship and union with the Lord. It is a sign and a foretaste of the future Kingdom of God” (p 14). I love this because so many people today marry with the attitude of “what’s in it for me” and wait in expectancy with a consumeristic mindset. However, being married for several years now, I think we can all agree that a mindset like this will not lead to a lasting marriage. Keller also discusses how marriage today is idolized in movies and in the media. This “dream marriage” is portrayed so much that people find themselves comparing or seeking that truly false ideal. He says that marriage helps spouses become their future selves through sacrificial service and spiritual friendship. In addition, Keller focuses on the roles of a husband and a wife and even speaks about the “gift of singleness.” Check out his book for a deeper understanding on marriage and how it affects our walk with the Lord. Do you ever open up your Bible and feel overwhelmed with what to read? Unsure of where to start? YouVersion.com may be a great resource for you! YouVersion contains the entire Bible in many different versions and it is free. I have it on my Iphone, Nook, and can access it, of

course, on my PC. I have access no matter where I am! Specific reading plans of multiple durations and topics are available. You will find over 144 devotional plans, including Learning Spiritual Discipline, Growing Patience, and Talking with God in Prayer. There are topical Bible plans, partial Bible, whole Bible, youth and family plans. Each day you can have a specific reading from the Bible to help you stay connected with God. I am currently working on the Biblein-a-Year Plan... and thoroughly enjoying God’s Word and learning more about Him! The Bible is the living Word and it should be a very important part of our daily life.

Another wonderful feature of YouVersion is that if you fall behind on your reading, you do not have to give up on it. You can simply “catch up” to where you currently are and keep on moving forward and seeking God’s face. Friends, I urge you to stay connected to our Father, Our Creator. Put Him first in your life and seek His Kingdom above all else. I encourage you to enjoy these books and resources and I pray they would help you in your walk with the Lord.

FORGIVENESS

LIFE: Classics By William Gurnall THE CHRISTIAN IN COMPLETE ARMOR, 1865

ay not, poor Christian, “It is impossible to bear this affliction, or pass that temptation.” Let faith follow the promise, and God will loose these knots that sense and reason tie. Luther bids, crucifige illud verbum, quare? [or] Crucify that word, wherefore? Obey the command, and ask not a reason why God enjoins it. It is as necessary to bid the Christian, in great afflictions and temptations, to crucify the word quomodo? [which means] How shall I go through this trouble, hold out in that assault? Away with this “How shall I?” Hath not the great God who is faithful given thee promises enough to ease thy heart of these needless fears and cares, in that He tells thee,“He will never leave thee nor forsake thee, His grace shall be sufficient for thee”? Nothing “shall separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” And a hundred more as comfortable assurances from the lip of truth to stand betwixt thee and all harm. Why then dost thou trouble thyself about this improbability and that mountainous difficulty that sense and carnal reason heave up and interpose to eclipse thy comfort from thy approaching deliverance?

“

“Shut the windows, and the house will be light,” as the Jewish proverb saith. Judge not by sense, but by faith in an omnipotent God; and these bugbears will not scare thee.

Let faith follow the promise, and God will loose these knots that sense and reason tie.

”

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SIGNET RING FEBRUARY - APRIL 2013