Birth Story

RIA OLIVER  BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 13th September I spent the day with my boys and we went on a lovely walk to see if autumn was coming and the trees were changing colours - little did I know how poignant this autumnal walk would be.

At 8pm that evening I had a bloody show. I’ve never had one of these before so I was excited to see if this meant baby would arrive imminently. I told my husband that I thought we would be having a baby that night and put my birth photographer and mum on standby.

I wasn’t experiencing any surges or twinges, but felt what I can only describe as a stretching feeling down below, which was the beginning of dilation and effacement. That night I was restless in bed, expecting labour to start at any moment like it had done with both of my previous babies.

I woke up the next morning on Monday 14th September feeling fine, but each time I went to the toilet there was more and more of my show so I knew my body was readying itself.

My husband left for work as usual and I got my boys ready for school and had conversations with them about the fact that the baby might be coming.

As it grew closer to school run time I started to feel worried that labour would start while i was in the queue in the playground. While I could handle surges starting in a public place, I wasn’t so keen on the idea of my waters going in front of a crowd. But I soldiered on and took the boys to school as normal, wanting to provide them with normality in what I was expecting to be an otherwise somewhat different day.

After the school run I went home and tidied the house at super speed and set my birth space ready for my home birth. My instincts were telling me today was the day, even if my body wasn’t yet showing me the same. By 10:30am I had spoken to my husband and asked him to return home from work. I still had no signs of labour at this point, just a very strong feeling that baby would be with us that day and I felt worried about being at home alone.

Once my husband was home I felt a great sense of relief and my body was able to relax. I put on series one of “Friends” and relaxed on my birthing ball while my husband flittered around the house preparing our pool and last minute bits and pieces that we needed. By 2pm I was starting to feel surges and my body started to show me that labour was coming, just in a more gentle way that I was used to.

Around 2.30pm once both the boys were home I

felt settled and my surges started to come in more rhythmical waves and building slightly in intensity. It was a gloriously sunny day and I spilt my time by being in my birth space or popping into the garden to see my boys where they played with my parents.

At 3pm full power surges started that I had to now breathe through and stand up for as sitting down felt really uncomfortable. I phoned for my midwife at this point to tell her my labour had now started. Due to the speed at which I labour I was sent two midwives straight away who sat quietly in my kitchen and let myself and my husband get on with labour in our own way.

Between 3pm and 6pm my surges were anywhere between 4-11 minutes apart and getting stronger with each one. I got in the birth pool around 5pm just after my birth photographer had arrived as I felt I needed the extra support, privacy and relaxation. I was now having to breathe through each surge using my visualisations and repeating my birth affirmation to myself over and over again “find the joy in each sensation, to miss the joy is to miss it all”. Everything felt so calm, relaxed and light hearted.

At 6pm I remember saying to my husband “it won’t be long now. If we can have the baby and still get the boys to bed on time I’ll be happy”. At 6:15pm my husband and the boys all got in the birth pool with me for a splash around. At 6:30pm my waters broke and the midwife recorded me as finally being in active labour. Just ten minutes later, at 18:40, I hit transition. My surges still sporadic in frequency and duration but my body very clearly signalling to me it was ready to birth my baby. I called out “it’s coming” and the midwives were in my space immediately. The head was born at 18:45 and I connected my hand to my baby’s head as they paused caught between two worlds. With the head out but the body still in the birth canal, I could feel my baby kicking around inside me which was the weirdest sensation while their head was in my hands. The birth of the body followed soon after at 18:46.

I reached down and slowly brought my baby up to the surface of the water. Our eyes fixed on each other the whole way. Her short cord almost pulled her back into the water so I held her in my arms and got to know her face. I then moved the cord out of the way and realised I’d had a girl - baby Autumn! The whole world stopped in that moment. I hadn’t realised how much I’d wanted a girl until I had one in my arms, looking up at me. The utter joy was remarkable.

We spent some time getting to know her and bonding before we took her upstairs to meet our boys. They fell in love instantly...and we were able to get them to bed more or less on time ready for school the next day as planned.

It all worked out so perfectly. For my last baby and my last birth, I couldn’t have asked for a better and more magical experience. I would highly recommend home birth to anyone who is considering it. The difference in the experience was remarkable. My birth plan was respected, my midwives listened to what I said and how I felt without question or hesitation. It was a woman centered experience from start to end and it felt amazing to be so fully supported throughout.

Ria Oliver BIRTH MINDSET COACH The Simple Birth Company

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