THE JOYS OF BEING A GRANDPARENT

It’s virtually twelve years since we, and that’s the royal ‘we’ obviously, heard the news all parents secretly long to hear, we were going to be grandparents for the very first time. Cue shock, excitement and a whole raft of emotions we hadn’t even thought of. Our daughter and her partner had been engaged for ages, were living in her flat, but had decided not marry and had thought about moving into a house first. Suddenly everything changed. Would we like to view a house with them tomorrow, and what did we think about a small wedding in April?

At this point, husband dearest nearly exploded and I started thinking how to get a wedding organised whilst everything else happened! The next day, we dutifully viewed said house with them, I was on crutches just to make things a little trickier. The house was perfect, a Victorian terraced house in a lovely Georgian market town and the very next day, the flat was put on the market. The wheels were put in motion extremely quickly and it was pretty exciting. Ooh, totally forgot about the wedding. Anyway, she decided she wanted a church wedding, both of them were divorced (don’t ask) but our local vicar was very helpful, not at all thrown by the fact they were both divorced and pregnant. A date was fixed and then of course a local hotel was booked for a small ‘shot gun wedding’.

Husband dearest has a very dry sense of humour so the invitations had a cartoon of him, with a gun, on the front! Her dress was ordered, with room for expansion and the flowers were also ordered. Her future husband’s son by another mother was going to be a pageboy and her best friend was bridesmaid. What could possibly go wrong?

By the time April arrived, she was nearly 20 weeks pregnant, the dress

had been let out and life seemed simpler. The wedding was lovely, the weather perfect and the happy couple went off on the QM2 for their honeymoon, cruising to New York. Both sets of parents were left to finalise the house move after the purchase had gone through, just in the nick of time! Time to relax! Err no; suddenly we learned the new baby was going to be a girl, due in September. Those who know me, will be aware I like knitting and now, I had a new little pink someone to knit for, clickerty clack went my needles, one happy granny to be.

Slowly life returned to a form of normality, the like of which we haven’t seen since. I was bursting with excitement when she asked me to go to one of the ante natal appointments with her, and yes, you guessed it, I cried when I saw my future granddaughter on the screen, suddenly this was all very very real.

Their tiny box room was decorated ready for the new arrival, the wedding vouchers had been ‘spent’ on a cot and a pram system costing as much as a small family car (or so it seemed).Baby clothes were purchased and we all tried to wait patiently until September and the magic date. My daughter was lucky throughout this pregnancy, no sickness etc, she certainly bloomed and blossomed.

Due date arrived, and went; daily updates were asked for without putting them under too much pressure! A water birth was planned, preferably in their sitting room, so the birthing pool was inflated, as was a birthing ball.

All we needed now was for baby to decide to make an appearance. Daughter rang late one afternoon, she was experiencing some ‘strange’ feelings but was adamant she was not in labour. I was not convinced at all and tried to persuade her that she could well be in labour. I got my head bitten off, of course she wasn’t, what did I know? True, I didn’t know much only having had one

child! But I had paid attention at the birthing classes I attended with her, as hubby was busy at work. An hour or two later, the phone rang again; it was my son in law with her squeaking in the background. “We are in the car heading to the birthing center about 30 minutes away from home. “ Mmmmm, something had changed I thought. They arrived at the birthing center, were quickly examined and sent by ambulance to our local hospital.

Ambulance? What was happening? I could hear him shouting into the phone as he drove behind said ambulance, complete with blue flashing lights, explaining what was happening.

She was in the ambulance, trying hard not to give birth until arriving at the hospital. By now it was gone midnight, there was no way I was going back to bed, let alone be able to sleep. Kettle was put on; buckets of tea were made and I sat on the sofa, whilst husband dearest snored loudly in our bed! Another eternity passed, probably about half an hour in reality, the phone rang once more, I leapt off the sofa (we are talking twelve years ago when I could actually leap off a sofa) and grabbed the phone off the hook, to hear the sound of a baby crying. She had arrived, weighing in at 8lb 6oz, our wonderful first grandchild, Maisie Victoria. Cue even more tears from her daddy, mummy and me, three adults and a baby, all crying on the phone. Our daughter had managed to keep her legs crossed until she arrived at the door to the maternity ward, but Maisie was rather quick to make her appearance thereafter.

Just like that, this was the day our lives changed forever. Being a grandparent is a blessing and occasionally a curse, it’s a steep learning curve and suddenly you find yourselves in the family ‘elders’ club. I have learned when to keep my mouth shut (took a while) and when to offer advice (still learning that one), but all in all, there’s nothing I would change about my experience thus far.

I was fortunate to be asked to help with childcare as I had retired a year before Maisie was born and only worked one day a week, for a local private dermatologist as his admin person. So I was ‘free’ to help out when my daughter returned to work part time. My day would start about 8 am when I arrived at their house ready to take on a few chores, washing, shopping and a bit of housework if needed.

Living in a small Georgian town everything was within very easy pram pushing distance and I soon was recognised by shopkeepers as ‘Maisie’s granny’! (I still am, which is very comforting.) After two years, it was decided that they would take on the daily care of Maisie’s stepbrother and he came to live with them. Suddenly, we all had two children to think about, getting him to and from school and finding filling snacks for when he arrived home (why do boys need so much food?). Maisie started nursery two mornings a week, so my childcare became mainly school holidays and occasional sick cover. Their house was becoming a bit cramped and joy of joys, the news of another baby was announced. They found a ‘Tardis’ like house, still in the little town but a bit further walk away from amenities. Again, the sale went through smoothly and they soon settled into life once more.

George arrived, again overdue, and we were fortunate enough to be looking after both Maisie and her stepbrother that day. This time, our daughter was induced and just after we had put the two scamps to bed, the phone rang. We could hear George crying in the background and both Maisie and her stepbrother raced to the phone to listen. The joy on their faces was overwhelming. Early the next morning, we took them up to the maternity hospital to be introduced to their new brother. They all stayed with us for that very first night, our daughter was exhausted and our son in law took on baby duties overnight. George was a tiny scrap weighing just 7 lbs., but boy was he long; he will be tall once he’s grown up.

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He’s now 8, and in spite of having a language disorder and being very late to talk, is doing well at school. His stepbrother is now 17 and doing ‘A ‘levels, and his big sister Maisie is at secondary school, doing very well.

Sadly, this isn’t the perfect fairy-tale we had all hoped for, as our son in law departed for greener pastures when George was barely two, so our daughter is now a single mum of two, our step grandson lives with his father. It’s changed the grandparent dynamics yet again, as we have taken on many jobs in our daughter’s house to help make it into a proper home. We have organised help with plasterers, painters and gardeners as needed. We will always be on hand for emergencies as and when they occur. Most recently, her central heating packed up and we were on hand with heaters until it was mended. Home schooling during the pandemic has been challenging for our daughter but she is very fortunate to be able to work from home. She works for a doctor’s surgery and is responsible for the admin for a team of nurses; she goes into the office for meetings but has her own office set up at home.

We take them on holidays to France with us; they love the Dordogne as much as we do. We have been there when teeth have fallen out, we have taught them to ride their bicycles, learn to swim and try to cook! Being a grandparent is a job with no real job description, definitely no salary but so many perks it’s unbelievable. I know not everyone is fortunate enough to have children or have grandchildren but for those that do, life is magical and gives a purpose to each day.

Our step grandson was only two when we first met him, and considering all he has been through he is a wonderful young man, very caring and kind. Sadly, his real mum died a year ago, so he could easily have gone off the rails but he hasn’t. Yes, we are sad our daughter’s marriage didn’t last, but without that marriage we wouldn’t have our grandchildren so there is a positive note to end on.

Di xx