DEAR KACIE

DearKACIE

A SECRET CANCER

My friend of over 20 years told me she has cancer. I’m devastated. But also devastated she didn’t tell me until now. She’s known she’s had cancer for at least six months! She has been through diagnosis, a treatment plan, a second opinion, hormone therapy, and a mastectomy. Her outlook is great, thankfully. She said she didn’t want to tell me because “she needed our friendship to be normal” and “only told a few people.”

I feel betrayed. I know this is about her and it should be, but I honestly am so angry at her. Do I tell her my true feelings?

Okay, first I’m glad your friend is doing well. Second, I can only imagine how disorienting that must have been to learn your friend has had cancer for six months. But keep in mind, if she did tell you six months ago, how would you have reacted? You would have done anything for her to make her experience as comfortable as possible. You would have wished and prayed for the best outcome possible.

Fast-forward six months, you’re already there. She got the best outcome possible.

She is healthy. But there is a conversation you might want to start. When you’re not angry, sit her down and have a talk about why you weren’t on that list. Be ready to hear how you tend to handle big news. Maybe you’re overbearing. Or melodramatic. Or maybe you make other people’s issues more about you. Be prepared to hear the truth. It would be devastating to destroy your friendship over the way she handled her cancer diagnosis.

If you have any questions you’d like Kacie to answer, submit them to contact@simplykcmag.com.