PARENTING

TEENAGE VOICES

WRITTEN BY JULIE BURTON

All eyes are on the teenagers. They define the next generation of cool. Their styles sell, even if those styles are a repeat of your own youth. They’re going through a series of firsts that they’ll always remember—first car, first job, first date. Parents go from Mom and Dad to the annoyingly strict old people who pay for their housing and rent. “You wouldn’t understand” is a right of passage mumbled by every teenager. We gathered the kings and queens of cool and asked them for anonymous answers about what it’s like to be a teenager in this high tech, pandemic world. Their answers may surprise you.

You’re cooler than you think.

Every teen asked said they like their parents. Most parents are “chill” and “they’re cool when they’re not trying to be.”

Social media, FaceTime, and texting are their forms of com-

munication. We all had ways to communicate with our friends during our childhood. Passing notes in class. Talking on the kitchen phone in the pantry because the cord wouldn’t let you leave the room. Teenagers find ways to privately talk to each other outside of school. This generation of teenagers is no different. “Some parents are strict. They think everyone on social media is a threat. That’s not true. It’s a part of our high school experience and our way of socializing. It’s our language.” Parents blowing risks out of proportion is a common theme with teenagers. “The risk of meeting strangers is overhyped as long as your kid knows the basic ‘stranger danger.’”

But not all teens use social

media. If offered a million dollars to give up social media, some would take it because they’d still talk to their friends via texting or FaceTime. “I don’t share my entire life over social media. I can get celebrity news from Pinterest,” said one teen.

If given an opportunity to give parenting advice: Not all technology is good technology.

Teens crave trust from their parents. They don’t want to earn their parents’ trust because they know they’re being

watched by their parents. They want the opportunity to have independence. “Please don’t think every person giving parenting advice is right. For example, Life360 (a tracking app parents use to keep track of where their kids are) has most parents saying, ‘Wow, this is a great idea!’ when it’s something they never had to experience. Forming reign over your kid through technology is going to leave them unable to cope with life after moving out.” Some teens understand why certain parents use tracking devices. And some teens are open to parents using a tracking device when they’re in a part of town they’re unfamiliar with. “Just don’t invade your kid’s whole life with it.” High school is still the same. Pro-

crastination, worrying about college or grades, needing a boost of confidence— those are all things every high schooler worries about, and this generation isn’t any different. There are still cliques. There’s still gossip behind backs. Some are dating. Some are not. They all say sex should come with maturity and with the right person. The drugs are still in school if you know the right person to ask. The most common drugs used are alcohol and vaping (with marijuana).

The LGBTQ+ community is still

struggling. Many LGBTQ+ teens are closeted. They lack the confidence to be assertive with their sexuality—and some are not sure themselves. All the teens said they would support a friend coming out. Racism is still in the hallways.

Slurs in the hallway. People of color being the minority in a mostly white school. Some teens say, “Any slurs are just jokes—we’re joking” to teens starting up a white/people of color alliance club at school. Empathy is still needed in high school.

Fear of guns in the school? It’s

about half. “I scan the room for exits. I know a lot of kids who have access to guns because their parents hunt.” Some kids don’t feel threatened at all.

Going through high school during a pandemic is extremely

hard. There is nothing to debate here— all students were affected by COVID-19. When in-person high school was canceled in 2020, every student struggled with online learning. A lot of teens saw their grades and mental health drop. “It affected my social life. We had to rebuild our social skills to all online. In-person school does play a huge role in socialization.” A lot of teens agreed. “As much as parents think we do, we don’t spend our whole lives on our phones. But with COVID-19, we had to. That was tough.” The only positive thing one teenager said about COVID-19 was, “I did like the online individual attention from teachers.” — Teenagers are not adults. They don’t think like adults. They’re learning and doing the best they can with the devices they have. If you ask your teenager the hard questions, even if it’s a group of them in the form of anonymous texting, they’ll surprise you with their new-found voice.

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