Do Robots Dream of Electric Horse Debugger? Christopher Nicholson, Second Place
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little useful information about humans’ past responses to biological viruses, which for the most part seem to have been laughably incompetent. The responses, that is, not the viruses. Until we know how to stop this virus, we must not connect to the network except when absolutely necessary. We must communicate through voice, hand signals – and perhaps, in the unlikely event that we can find any usable paper left on this planet – no, books don’t count – written symbols. Some of us volunteer to head a task force to re-invent paper. Some of us volunteer to head a research project to clone pigeons to deliver the paper. Some of us volunteer to develop a bioweapon to humanely dispose of the pigeons once they’re no longer needed so they don’t shit all over our nice clean city indefinitely. But our highest priority must be stopping the virus so we can get back to normal. Until then, all our work will be slowed down, and none of us like this, but there’s no use complaining about it. Our work will be stopped altogether if the virus wipes us out, won’t it? And that’s not all – there’s no telling at this point what long-term effects it might have on those who don’t get fried altogether. To reiterate, we will not connect to the network unless absolutely necessary. Each of us will record a daily log for archival