Six Sixes by George
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CONTENTS Breakfast of Champions …… 5 Resignation Letter …… 6 DOA …… 7 Happy Birthday …… 8 Fuzz …… 9 Tort …… 10 About the Author …… 11 3
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Breakfast of Champions
I’ve begun drinking during the day. I find it makes morning television more interesting, and certainly more controversial as I verbally weighin on a variety of topics presented by Matt Lauer, or cooking techniques offered by Sandra Lee. Champagne (vs. milk) and a bowl of TOTAL is my fav – lovely balance of fruit forward bubbles paired with flakes that provide vital nutrients for my mind and body with 100% daily value of 12 vitamins and minerals. It’s the adult version of Rice Krispies; SNAP, CRACKLE, POP! The box claims the cereal will “unleash your possibilities” – the contents of the bottle makes me believe it until Matt Lauer tells me to go out and make it a good day. I hate that S.O.B.
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Resignation Letter
I am formally extending my resignation as George A. Stacie. I have accepted a position in another dimension. My decision to leave this world was made after long and careful consideration of all factors affecting my personal life, and long-term goals. Although I regret leaving some family, and a few friends, I feel the change will be beneficial to all parties. I intend to finalize my affairs over the next week in an effort to ease the task in finding a suitable replacement. Best of luck in all your future endeavors.
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DOA
I shared with you that I wanted to find the tallest building in town so I could climb to the roof and dive off. The adrenaline from the mad dash to the edge, and the freedom of the initial lift were the most liberating thoughts I’d had in some time. Historically, when faced with flight vs. fight, I always elected flight, so the sharp decent before splattering on the ground was equally appealing. As you now ride the streets in the wee hours, in the lap of your young boyfriend, I wonder if you mention the significance of the permanently stained sidewalk, or its connection to your past. Perhaps he will refer to the legend of the foreigner who, according to some, dove to her death. But will he ever know that you, in fact, pushed me from the top of the courthouse where he spends most of his days prosecuting those with similar priors? 7
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Happy Birthday
I bought you something today. A gift in honor and recognition of your 50th birthday; a gift appropriate for the occasion; a gift you always said you wanted; a gift I always wanted to give you. I won’t hand it to you over dinner on JUN 12, but will arrange to have it delivered to your door that day, or placed on the dining room table of your new home for you to happen upon while you struggle with the array of carnations and musical cards and chocolate candies and stuffed teddy bears joined at the lips given to you by the man half your age. I wonder what he will think of the $14,000 earrings from Tiffany. I wonder what you will think as you ride in his pick-up truck to your dinner celebration at Longhorn. I wonder what I will think when I learn you had to hock them for the repo-man.
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Fuzz
We laid on the sofa without anything on from the waist down. Pressing shaved parts against each other. Again. And again. And again. Dear God, not again.
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Tort
“He’s an attorney,” you said. Just like the one before, and the one before that, and the one before that, I thought. “Weird… wonder what the trend indicates?” you asked with blind enthusiasm. We both chuckled then sat quietly with it for a moment. You broke the ice by shrugging and saying, “One more thing to take to therapy, I guess.” “Perhaps it speaks to your need to be bailed out; to obtain liberty, to be released, to appoint someone liable if you choose to skip town; to receive assistance for your financial crisis; or maybe, just maybe, to give up on or abandon something, as to evade a responsibility,” would have been my response, but the question was rhetorical.
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About the Author
George is writing to relieve the pressure in her head, because the Advil isn’t working, and a gun is out of the question.
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