SHAKE IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT
Six Sixes by Peggy McFarland
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CONTENTS Moon Phase …… 5 Lies …… 6 Write Your Life …… 7 Dimes …… 8 Congratulations! Get Well, I’m Sorry …… 9 Cosmopolitan Philosophy …… 10
About the Author …… 11 3
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Moon Phase
It’s a full moon tonight, the phase which draws out the crazy people and the crazy part of normal people. A loud argument erupts at table two, but you wink at me and order your second Long Island Iced Tea. I too, have a crazy side that craves release, or at least some entertainment, so I ignore the commotion and stifle my nervous giggle as I pour your drink and steal a glance through the plate-glass window at the brightening night sky. You don’t disappoint. Your crazy self breaks free and transforms into the once-a-month savage creature that hungers. This time, though, please, please, please don’t eat the good tippers.
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Lies
I like House, because the premise of the show is one of the only truths in life, which is that everybody lies. The most anyone can expect or offer is to be fair rather than honest. Of course, parents always disagree, but they perpetuate one of the most flagrant lies of all, and in so doing become quite unfair. How many people grow up believing their punishment could be less severe if only they told the truth? Come on. Parents aren’t angry at the lie; they mete out punishment because they’re angry that they can’t discern the truth.
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Write Your Life
No more cries for help. No more angst riddled prose. No more complaints about idiot editors. Admit you chose this torture. Dust off your talent, rediscover your pride. Now, write a story for the reader.
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Dimes
I find dimes, and that makes me smile. Sometimes I find them in obvious places, such as under cushions or on the sidewalk or even on the window ledge, but only dimes; never pennies or nickels or quarters. One time a dime materialized on the kitchen counter after I sponged it clean and another time one fell on my forehead while I sunned myself in the backyard. They arrive whenever I don’t trust my decisions, to assure me, as if to say, “That’s right!” I just came back from putting down my sick dog, and a dime twinkles from her empty food dish. Sure, the dimes reassure when I decide to play hooky from work, or when I resist the urge to spend money on a destination vacation; but, hell, I want – no, make that need – that shiny Roosevelt comfort when I wield the power of life and death in my hands.
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Congratulations! Get Well, I'm Sorry
“After two days, you’re finally smiling.” The new hire winked at the mustached woman, and yanked on his section of the greeting card display. Shelves crashed, pre-fab sentiments fluttered, customers scattered and their hairy boss with the wet armpits lost his cool. “It’s not rocket science.” The new employee shrugged before he walked past the hemorrhoid medications, past the tooth brightening products, past the bored cashier with the magenta-streaked black hair, past the tiny shopping carts with the flagged metal poles and out into the relentless tarred parking lot. “No, not rocket science, just basic engineering,” he told the bulgy woman yanking on the waistband of her stretch pants with one hand and her snot-faced toddler with the other as he laughed and opened his fist to reveal six bolts.
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Cosmopolitan Philosophy
Fill a glass with ice. Add vodka, triple sec, cranberry juice and a squeeze of lemon and lime. Top with a metal shaker can and do what the name implies -shake it like you mean it! Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and then pretend you have restraint by consuming with little sips in regular intervals. Now all your troubles are entombed in a warm, fuzzy, pink cocoon‌ enjoy.
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About the Author
Peggy McFarland waits. For what you ask? Oh, so, so many things (smile). Check out her Prize-Winning Six, “New Day,� or her two shorts in 6SV1. sixsentences.blogspot.com/2009/01/new-day.html amazon.com (six sentence s)
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