The 'anti-diva:' How Isabella Gidi overcame her fear of imperfection

SCHOOL BIDS FAREWELL TO DEPARTING FACULTY, STAFF

Lower School

MOLLY BAUGHMAN (4 YEARS) RECEPTIONIST

COURTNEY BORDEN (5 YEARS) CLASS 2

ANA BRANDON (7 YEARS) SPANISH

LUCY DIBLASI (7 YEARS) KINDERGARTEN

BECKY FRANKLIN (7 YEARS) CLASS 1

TOM MCLAUGHLIN (5 YEARS) HEAD OF LOWER SCHOOL

SONAM SHAHANI (4 YEARS)

CLASS 5 LANGUAGE ARTS/ SOCIAL STUDIES

Things every Upper School student has experienced: taking their class photo, signing the Honor Code and watching Isabella Gidi perform. Gidi is ubiquitous, whether it be in dance, musical theater, playwriting or choir.

Her voice is distinct; according to choir director Scott Bonasso, it falls somewhere between a heavier mezzo and a high, light coloratura. Most audience members have probably never detected a nervous tremor in her voice, yet for someone who seems able to perform anywhere, at any time, Gidi has struggled intensely with stage fright.

As a sophomore, she started to feel nervous before an out-of-school singing showcase where she was supposed to deliver a solo performance of “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” from “Phantom of the Opera.”

Gidi ended up crying so much on the car ride and backstage that her throat clogged up, rendering her unable to perform her solo.

The incident reinforced her fear that people thought she was a bad singer, which led to negative feelings about her past performances. When she did receive praise, she did not believe it.

Bonasso recalls that Gidi would often tell him that she felt like she had not given her best performance due to nerves.

“It’s just one of those things you have to keep doing over and over and over,” he said about performing.

In order to conquer her stage fright, after the debacle Gidi pushed herself to take on any opportunity to perform.

“There’s something inside of me that, when I’m scared of it, I have to keep doing it,” Gidi said. “Any single opportunity I have to sing, I take it, because I owe it to myself to stop being scared.”

A year later, Gidi performed “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” at the Kantorei Concert in March.

Bonasso, who is well aware of how debilitating stage fright can be, advised Gidi to try singers’ breathing, a technique meant to minimize the physical effects of nerves on the body.

Because nervousness causes shortness of breath, it can be detrimental to live singing, according to Bonasso. He added that the best thing to happen to a young singer during a performance is for “something spectacularly awful to go wrong.”

If a young singer’s worst nightmare comes true, they realize they can deal with anything and move on.

Her performance in March was the turning point.

“Every time I’ve seen her sing now as a soloist, her voice is firing on all cylinders,” Bonasso said.

When considering which song to perform, Gidi sits down at the piano until she finds what feels right.

“I feel a deep connection with all the songs I’ve performed. They are often the ones I sing at home when I’m trying to release something,” Gidi said.

She once volunteered to perform when Chapel Guild needed a last-minute performer to fill in — just two hours before Chapel started. Yet she originally intended to turn down the opportunity because she was not “the kind of person who could perform on two hours notice.”

Instead, she asked herself, “Would the person I want to be — the person who doesn’t have stage fright — would she say yes?” Gidi decided that she would, and that was when she became the person that she had always wanted to be.

Now as a senior, all her hard work has paid off. In addition to performing in Chapel twice — and giving a senior Chapel talk — Gidi also performed in the music assembly, the Kantorei Concert, the “Classic With A Twist" dance performance and the musical, Nice Work If You Can Get It.

Gidi’s character, Eileen Evergreen, was a spoiled senator’s daughter who believed she was the world’s finest interpreter of modern dance.

Upper School Theater Director Jamie Stires Hardin gave her an idea of what the character’s movement would look like, but encouraged her to experiment and play with it.

“She was able to tackle something that, in anyone else’s shoes, maybe would’ve been more cautious or apprehensive,” Stires Hardin said.

Gidi, who never saw herself as a funny person, spent hours developing the character, including creating a signiture, albeit questionable, interpretation of modern dance. Stires Hardin noticed how open Gidi was to taking risks with the comedic aspect of the performance.

“She really owned that character,” Stires Hardin said. Off stage, Gidi continues to hone her craft.

“There are kids that will get to a point where they feel that they’ve arrived, and they rest on their laurels,” Bonasso said. “She doesn’t. She’s a relentless worker.”

Gidi was also elected choir president in a landslide vote. Bonasso said that she brings a “demonstratively contagious joy” to choir.

“With kids auditioning for roles and trying to angle for solos, you never know how much you’re dealing with someone at a surface level, but she is just such a genuinely sweet person,” Bonasso said. “It’s almost like she doesn’t realize how talented she is.”

Bonasso went as far as to describe Gidi as “the anti-diva.”

The responsibility that Gidi looked forward to the most as choir president was conducting Chorale during the Spring Choral Concert. Every spring, Bonasso picks a song that is suitable for a beginning conductor but is still a legitimate Chorale-level piece. This year’s choice was Eric Whitaker’s “The Seal Lullaby.”

“The student conductor walks out, they conduct the piece and then they accept the applause. It’s somewhat unique to our program,” Bonasso said.

Gidi, who will be attending Harvard College in the fall to study physics, skipped a meet-and-greet for accepted students in order to perform at the concert.

“I want to leave St. John’s having done what I always dreamt about doing,” Gidi said.

Bonasso was not at all surprised by Gidi’s decision to perform.

“It’s a capstone movement for a student like her who has worked her way up through the levels, and I knew she wouldn’t have missed it," he said. “I knew that for sure.”

At the concert, Gidi commanded the attention of the choir, seamlessly sweeping her arms in fluid, controlled motions, as the choir brought the “Seal Lullaby” to life.

Whatever Gidi’s future holds, she knows that music will be a part of it.

“I’ve thought about this a lot — when I go to college and don’t have Chapel to sing whenever I like, am I going to lose the opportunity to perform?” she said. She plans to audition for every choir Harvard has. “I love music. I love contributing to that beauty.”

NANCY VERLY (2 YEARS) KINDERGARTEN

MIDDLE SCHOOL CHIA-CHEE CHIU (3 YEARS) HEAD OF MIDDLE SCHOOL

CLARK ELLIS (5 YEARS) SCIENCE

DASHELLE FABIAN (4 YEARS) WORLD LANGUAGES

CAROLINE GOLSON (3 YEARS) ENGLISH

ANNA THOMAS (3 YEARS) HISTORY

SARAH WATSON (2 YEARS) MATHEMATICS

KELLY WHITE (8 YEARS) SCIENCE

UPPER SCHOOL

MARCI BAHR (31 YEARS) COMMUNITY SERVICE

AUDREY ETTINGER (3 YEARS) SCIENCE

LUIS GAMBOA (1 YEAR) WORLD LANGUAGES

LETTY REZA (3 YEARS) MATHEMATICS

ATHLETICS

VINCE ARDUINI (12 YEARS) DIRECTOR OF ATHLETICS

ERIN WIERZBA (4 YEARS)

GIRLS’ HEAD SOCCER COACH/PE

FINE ARTS

BRITTANY GARMON (10 YEARS)

THEATRE SHOP MANAGER