SLAUGHTER HOUSE Jive.
July 2011 Issue 002
Pyro Spectaculars............ profile of Bob Susa and Pryo
What the Fuck?................ a rant from a concerned and
Drunchies..........................
submitted recipes to suit the d
Keep the Arts....................
the case for keeping art in ed
Selected works by Joseph
from a series titled ‘who’s wa
Kernal Corny...................
comments to avoid on a first d
.......................................3 Spectaculars
......................................5 opinionated citizen
......................................8
drunkest of hunger
......................................9
ducation
h Mitchell.....................11
atching who’
.....................................18
date
Pyro Spectaculars
A
merican’s celebrate just about anything nowadays. We have holidays that are more extravagant than others, or less recognized. Whatever the case may be, we celebrate, and we love it. July 4th is a national celebration that brings so many fond memories to everyones mind. We associate the hot summer day celebration loaded with all day festivities, BBQ-ing, drinking, parades and the best part- FIREWORKS. We blow things up in the sky that somehow make smiley faces, intricate animals, and mesmerizing geometrical shapes and loud noises. It ignites something in our soul that really arouses our senses. Did you ever think of who does the fireworks? Where they come from? What goes into it? Bob Souza is a the top in the American firework business and he’s is the real deal. Pyro Spectaculars is a 5th generation family business that was established in 1937. Of Portugese descent, Mr. Souza’s grandfather became involved in various fiestas, lighting simple fireworks. Sometime down the road, grandfather Souza made his way from the Azores to norther California in the city of San Leandro. WWII posed as a threat to the family business due to the scarcity of chemicals and powders that the family used to manufacture their products. “Our family stayed in the business after the war, but it was nothing like it is now.” About 30 years later in 1972, Bob revived the business. “We are now one of the few companies to be involved in the fireworks trade, and we do business internationally as well.” Due to the extensive legal measure and licenses to handle the dangerous product, the Souza’s buy materials from Australian, Japanese, and Chinese manufacturers. Buying the materials for events occur anywhere from 1-3 years in advance. “The buying process is lengthy. We have to plan years ahead in order to get that 45 minute show just right.” Mr. Souza is no stranger to the potential danger
and life threatening situations that can occur when handling the explosives. “I was doing a show in Japan some years back. We were igniting the fireworks manually, when something went wrong and the shells and fireworks exploded. I was projected into the air, and thankfully just broke my arm.” Most people would call him crazy for not ditching the firework business and leading a safer life. For Mr. Souza, that is not an option. The days of manual ignition are long gone. In this modern age, computer programmed displays are the method of choice which ensure safety due to the greater proximity of staff from the display site. “Once you smell the powder, you can’t get away.” This year on July 4th alone, Pyro Spectaculars will be doing over 400 displays nation wide. Their annual roster includes weddings, fairs, Disneyland, and international shows in Hong Kong, South Africa, and other places. the most impressive is the Macy’s Day celebration in new York city. The display surrounds the Statue of Liberty and is located on the Hudson River. “I think fireworks are so prominent in celebrations in our culture because it is a complete production, it’s artistry at is finest. Theres combustion noises, amazing colors and shapes and fitting music. It turns people on. It reminds them of good, simple times.” Pyro Specaculars have grown astronomically since its inceptions decades ago. The company’s headquarters is in an old Military ammo depot in Rialto, Ca. There are six satellites facilities ranging from Fresno to Oakland to San Diego. It is entirely family ran and family operated by the 5th generation of Souza’s. It’s people like Bob Souza and his family that are responsible for making these special celebrations memorable and withstanding. A 4th of July without fireworks would be like a birthday part without guests and cake. Cuddle your woman or man this 4th and go out with a bang. It’s the 234th year of independence.
America is a nation governed by its people, indirectly through individuals whom are elected to serve the needs and desires of their constituents. The citizenry empowers individuals to make decisions, which effect the populous at large and do so based on their proven sound reason, commitment to the selfless betterment of the nation, and most importantly their stead-fast integrity. Not only are these men and women afforded the opportunity to shape the course of domestic and international affairs, they are graced with a paycheck to do so. This is not to say that elected politicians are superior men and women by the nature of their election but it is to say that given their status, they are held to an expectation that is inherent in their being an officially elected member of the government. With all that said, what the fuck is up with the onslaught of politicians somewhere in the midst of a gripping battle over a love child or is paying off the wrong male prostitute to cower from a homosexual scandal?
Individuals are elected to lead because they exhibit qualities, which set them above the standard bar, enough so that they merit the responsibility to represent and control the course of political decisions. Instead of reveling in the magnitude of their decision-making, the nation is forced to confront the depths of their personal lives including their shame and pity. Since 2000, in the years following the events of the fabled fellatio of president Bill Clinton, there have been over 30 documented cases of sexual misconduct. These events brought to light range from the every day bastard love child to the understood “no-no� of child pornography. While these numbers may seem minuscule in comparison to their occurrence in the hustle and bustle of the real world, where homoerotic bathroom encounters and love triangles are as common as the air we breathe, they do in fact represent a growing problem in government.
The issue lies in their inability to uphold the standard of integrity and decency in which they were elected upon. Really, how many times a day are grown men caught in the midst of anonymous sexual encounters in airport bathrooms? Even more so, how much of the Internet is populated by those same men impersonating young boys in message boards just looking to share some pictures of their testicles? The world is not so black and white. However, when the voters honor you with the job of leading the nation, it would be nice if one could table their fetish habits for the length of their term of duty. Take for example the former govenator Arnold Schwarzenegger. A man elected and tasked with governing a state in the grips of an unprecedented budget crisis, whom the nation discovered to be neck deep in a scandal involving an illegitimate love child of 10 years. After having fathered a child with an employee of his household, he included his would be son as a member of his family with wife Maria Shriver without ever revealing the truth to her. It was only a matter of time before a child of this iconic man began to resemble the Terminator, but in the end, what the fuck Arnold? Forgive them for their misdeeds, but lest we forget what this says about their ability to lead or shall we say ‘mislead’ the nation. Democracy works because it
is transparent, but when voters are subjected to a democracy lead by shifty and crafty liars it questions the principles that our country functions upon. It also brings light to the growing dichotomy between the outwardly expressed opinions of extreme party members from all sides, and the practicing of actions that would have the nation believe otherwise. It’s hard to say that our politicians are practicing what they preach. Individual representatives such as Bob Allen and Richard Curtis, both of whom were openly anti-gay in their leanings, were caught in the grips of altercations with male prostitutes in public places. Again, the world is not so black and white. When it comes to issues such as this, one would expect that an individual voting for anti-gay policies would also find the use of male prostitutes as morally questionable. In the end, humans are a flawed and complicated species. One should expect imperfections to be present in a society consisting of so many. Consider an extremist politician who claims they had sexual relations with their intern, they probably did, and if they claim that their homoerotic bathroom encounter was all a misunderstanding, it probably wasn’t. People make mistakes in their personal lives, but what the fuck is up with all these politicians?
Drunchies drun•chies: | drən ch is’ | noun a state of extreme hunger resulting from the excessive consumption of alcohol characterized by the eating of food which defies better judgement and reasoning.
After that party, I came down with a bad case of the drunchies and had to make myself an ice cream burrito.
Dish: Homemade Thai Ramen Recipe: Peanut butter mixed with Thai chili powder and mixed into Ramen. Serve Hot: Boiling Hot if you are a man or 102 degrees if you have sensitive gums. The peanut butter will serve as a neutral base, and as a thirst catalyst. Recommend Beverages: Beer, soda based cocktails, and grapefruit juice.
Dish: Spicy Quesadilla Recipe: Pepper jack cheese, sliced jalapenos, light drizzle of Tabasco, garlic salt, all placed between two flour tortillas and cooked in the Toaster oven at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Slice evenly with pizza cutter to ensure optimal equivalence dispersal between guests.
Dish: Ice Cream Burrito Recipe: Flour tortilla lighted flame grilled on stove burner, topped with extra loaded brownie Dryers ice cream, Cocoa Puffs, whip cream, and rainbow sprinkles. Wrap ferociously, you don’t want level four cream drippage on your night threads. Fold to personal tightness.
Dish: Pickle Surprise Sandwich Recipe: This is a healthier option, for ones who fancy the tartness of pickles. Substitute bread with large wedges of ice berg lettuce. Use your pickle(s) of choice and place on large ice berg wedge. Insert some ketchup, a dash of pepper, and balsamic vinegar. Top with other wedge of lettuce and enjoy. Note: lettuce doesn’t absorb like bread so expect frequent juicy discharge from your seasoned pickle.
Dish: Cheesy Cracker Medley Recipe: Assorted chesses topped on original Ruffles, multi-grain crackers, Ritz, or Triscuits. Dip in salsa, Tapatio, or cream cheese. You can also double whammy the experience and put a cream cheese block on the bottom of a bowl of salsa and scrape according to cheesy preference. It is a Hispanic salsa style. One downside: it will be hard to kiss someone with the breath of a cheese wheel, but anything is possible.
Dish: Gormet Tony’s Pizza Recipe: 1 subpar frozen pizza topped with misc leftovers and refrigerator contenets. recomended toppings: peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms, bacon, chicken, lunch meat, additional cheese, chips, salsa, ranch, bbq sauce, cheetos, doritos , garlic, seasoning salt. After adding desired toppings in no particular order or ammount fallow recomended baking time on the original packaging.
KEEP THE ARTS Did you know that most American schools are removing art courses and replacing them with math and science? This is happening because America falls behind several other countries when it comes to these two topics. Math and science is a must in school, but there are faults in the method being used. Although more math and science is being implemented in school, student scores are not improving. Why would this happen? It could certainly be the absence of art. Surprisingly, the leading countries in math and science also obtain the most art programs. It’s obvious that art plays an important part in the educational development of students. America needs to take a new a proach, and keep the arts in schools. Here are four ways art benefits students.
Perception Art helps students understand they are growing up in a visual world. It has them refer to their own life experiences in order to make sense of these perceptions. Art is everywhere, and students will begin to view the elements of art in their everydaylife. In time, they will understand how natural and universal structures connect to art. Also, they will respond to works of art, objects in nature, events, and environment using the vocabulary of the visual arts. Students will develop perceptual skills, and be able to analyze and discover the elements of art in their surrounding world.
Creative Expression Working with art allows students to develop their visual literacy. To create works of art students must think critically, and transform their thoughts and ideas into a visual cast. The several medias offered in art allows students to create their visions through different expressions. Some of these medias include painting, drawing, graphic arts, sculpture, ceramics, architecture, photography, and textiles. Experimenting with these medias will have students developing several unique skills. Acquired knowledge will consist of the use of value, additive and subtractive processes, interaction between positive/ negative space, and use of accurate proportions. Creative expression allows students to communicate their ideas and feelings, as well as appreciate others.
Historical and Cultural Studying the visual arts has students acquiring knowledge and understanding of creativity from cultures across different times and places. Through time, art has been through many processes of development, and has played an important part in life. It is important for them to know that specific artists and artworks have significant roles within other world cultures. Some forms of creativity may not be valued in certain regions, but students will know the distinguishing characteristics that make it unique. Also, many students will discover much about their own historical and cultural background. They will learn how specific events influenced their family’s art, lifestyles, and values. Studying the arts will reveal its significance through time and culture.
Beauty How is something justified as beautiful? If that wasn’t hard enough, answer this. What makes something art? Don’t worry if you couldn’t provide an answer. Philosophers have discussed this topic for years, and still it is often debated. In the 19th century a value known as aestheticism was developed. Of course, it affected styles of art, but it also had artist and art viewers questioning and attempting to justify beauty and art. How does this relate to students? Aesthetic valuing is constantly occurring within art classes. Students are to analyze and respond to the intent, purpose, and technicality of different creative works. Everyone will not provide similar responses, for people have different thoughts about what makes something unique and successful. In addition, their thoughts and statements will not go unjustified. They will refer to the artistic elements when making critical judgments. Through doing so they will discover what they find beautiful within art and the world.
What do the artists say “The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhappy constantly.” - J.D. Salinger “Only he is an artist who can make a riddle out of a solution.” - Karl Kraus “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. “ - Pablo Picasso
Joseph Mitchell ‘who’s watching who?’
Jive. f p b y v r v c g r r x f j y
j f x o a k l d m u i r t h n
e f u o s o e l u l j b o m b a t r e g b r e a n t b y v o z p o h z c v p l x m k o w t
c g a o a t f m r o b g m i f
b k m v h r m e h r h b m n n
barbecue barrelhouse beef boot canary clambake collar cop cubby
e c x e g o a e u y y n n c o z a g e b y r u b x l y w r b u e b a e r s r b h p s f r u g l k w a s m t c w z u f l k h n x z r p s b w b f y z p c dreamers evil foxy frame fry gravy groovy guzzlin hype jeff
q l y y k e p o c c b c t c k
k o j s d e y e v i l x j u j
e m a r f f h x h a o p j d f
kernal
I’ve got four kids with three spouses…Do you like kids?
Would you excume me for a moment, its time to take my suppository.
I’m a sucker for a good porno.
Can you catch the bill I still need to buy some weed later?
I can see why your single. I’m unemployed what do you do?
It’s so nice to get away from my wife for a couple hours.
I look better naked.
Oh…do you have a sister? I prefer the sponge over condoms. Do you have a preference?
“Comments to avoid on a first date.”