CORNELLIGIBLE
BACHELORS
Miles asafo-adjei ‘13 Communication Nashville, TN Miles’ big smile will put any girl at ease! Upon meeting him, I was completely comfortable and taken aback by his laid back demeanor. He describes himself as “kind, intelligent and empathetic” and is so right, yet fails to mention how hard he works! But this stud is graduating this May, so get him while he’s hot. His personality, charm and honesty are inescapable, and who wouldn’t want to stare at those dimples for hours? He’s looking for a girl to make him laugh, someone to talk to and someone that can ride along with his crazy schedule. This tall glass of wine comes with ready hands (he balanced a basketball on them), food appreciation (Chicken Alfredo, anyone?) and a love of lemonade! Feast your eyes! ♥ What kind of character would you be if you were on a reality show? “Maybe I’ll be the guy who is too nice so somewhere in the show I will blow up and no one would ever see it coming.”
When is the last time that you cried? “I cried last night, you know, I’m a senior and it being our last game made it very emotional.”
Ryan Bender ‘14
Biological engineering Pittsburgh, NY This blue eyed package comes complete with coffee roasting skills, wine and beer making skills and a love of cooking! Try to see if you can look into his eyes and not fall in love with him! His energy and sense of humor mask his hard working bio-engineering self, but don’t forget that he has the brains behind the beauty! He’s not afraid of daredevil living or of admitting that he admires Brad Pitt’s body. That’s some real honesty. ♥
“My favorite body part is the whole face part. All together, the whole thing together.”
Who’s your celebrity crush? “Historically, Natalie Portman. She has like published psychology papers, she’s legitimate and people don’t even realize that. I have appreciated some of the attention Jennifer Lawrence has gotten recently.”
What are the top 3 qualities What’s your idea of a perfect date? you look for in a girl? “Independent enough to do her own thing. She doesn’t have to be funny but if she appreciated my humor that would be great! I want somebody who’s driven. Somebody who can talk.”
“Ithaca’s nice because it has a lot of nice outdoorsy places. So, go somewhere nice, have a good picnic, wine and cheese and everything. Hang out and go for a walk during the day, see a movie. Hopefully a thoughtful movie that throws you for a loop.”
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Alec berin ‘15
Industrial & labor relations CHicago, IL
Alec Berin may be the sweetest hipster you’ll ever meet. So sweet, in fact, that I couldn’t help but forgive this glasses-wearing, hair-styling munchkin when he texted moments before his interview, “Being the diva I am, I’m running like 10 mins late but will see you soon!” He called himself a diva! How cute is that? This self-deprecating quality of Alec’s—although completely unfounded—is super endearing. He’ll have you laughing in seconds by joking about how he hates his butt (it’s “way too small,” he says), or about how his first kiss wasn’t until his senior year in high school (aww!). But don’t be fooled, Alec is insanely cool. He’s really into the underground music scene, listens to jazz when he exercises, and really knows how to rock a pair of spectacles. And even though he may not have perfect vision, he knows he’s looking for love! ♥
Who’s your celebrity crush? “Natalie Portman, without a doubt. Harvard, Jewish—Everything I could ever want.”
Why are you single right now? “I didn’t know what I was looking for until recently… I was very late to the romance game.”
Trevor Burns ‘14
Applied econ. & management Toronto, Ontario This bachelor is a dynamic and personable person! Yes, that is what is on his LinkedIn profile, but it’s completely true. From heading the Music Department at Slope Media to engaging in Greek life, there isn’t something this beautiful man isn’t involved with! Canadian to the core, he loves Elisha Cuthbert and can look sexy in any weather! Just imagine him in one of those trendy jackets from a thrift shop! Ladies, he’s only a junior and that means that you guys get a whole year to try to win his heart! If you’re looking for someone who knows all the characters from Desperate Housewives, but isn’t afraid to eat fried tarantulas, this man is for you! ♥
Where’s the weirdest place you’ve hooked up at Cornell? “Kroch library. Get it?”
What’s your idea of a perfect date? “We’re gonna start early evening in a dive bar, and we’re both gonna be looking pretty swanky. I’m slowly gonna start opening up about things that I usually never tell people, but somehow you get it out of me. We end the night with me kissing you on your doorstep and me hoping you’ll call me for the next time.”
Who’s your guy crush? Johnny Depp for his accessories. Jeff Corwin from the Jeff Corwin Experience, he’s like Bear Grylls with a sense of humor.
Vincent cusma ‘13 Hotel administration Canton, OH
If Taylor Swift wrote a song about your relationship, what would it be called? “I Made a Mistake With A Ginger”
As the one-and-only ginger Cornelligible Bachelor, Vincent Cusma is without a doubt a standout guy. Not only is he physically the hot version of Ron Weasley, but he’s also got some magic of his own. Any girl would be lucky to sit down with Vincent to engage in some witty repartee—and not to mention, stare at this piece of man-candy at the same time. He’s so hilarious, well-spoken, and genuine that it’ll probably be the best conversation of your life. Safe to say we’re pretty obsessed with him—and you should be too. So what are you doing still reading this? Go out, and get you some Vincent Cusma! ♥
How can a girl win your heart?
Who’s your over 40?
celebrity
crush
“I mean, how do I win her heart? If she’s, like, doing her thing, I’ll pursue her.”
“Maybe Betty White. I feel like she’d be pretty badass.”
Tim jalbert ‘16 NeuroBiology Bristol, CT Tim Jalbert is basically Troy Bolton from High School Musical. He sings, he dances, and he plays ball. Oh yeah, and how could we forget, he has Zac Efron’s good looks. AND, in addition to these Disney-hero qualities, Tim is a genuine sweetheart. He’s a protective older brother to two sisters, and his kindness actually makes our hearts melt. If you want to win his heart, ask him how much he bench presses – he may just lift you into his arms to show you just how strong he is. So get your head in the game, and set your sights on Tim Jalbert. ♥ What song did you sing in the shower last? “‘She Will Be Loved’ by Maroon 5. I’m not even lying.”
What were you like in high school? “I don’t want to say I was the typical jock. Nobody ever knew I sang. People found out senior year that I sang. I was just like the sports guy, and people definitely thought of me as the nice guy. And I found out nice guys don’t always finish last.”
Why do you like singing? “It’s a way for me to just enjoy myself. Certain songs make you feel good, and think of certain things.”
John Mueller ‘13 Psychology Belmar, NJ
Whether he’s singing in a Last Call concert, or running an SA meeting John Mueller is an all-around stud muffin. He’s smart, talented, funny, and oh-so cute. Oh yeah, and he’s casually working for Teach for America after he graduates this spring. Just changing the world, you know? We don’t understand how he’s single, but we do know he’d be an amazing boyfriend. He’ll quote every line from 10 Things I Hate About You with you, he’ll take you out for sushi, and if you’re lucky, he’ll even serenade you. The man’s basically perfect— super Cornelligible, you might say. Win his amazing heart by cooking him a good meal, and then we promise he’ll be your first call in the morning and your Last Call at night! ♥
“The last time I took a girl on a date, she went and wrote an op-ed about it.” What are the top three qualities that you look for in a significant other?
What is the most embarrassing thing you are willing to admit about yourself?
“Definitely, someone who is funny. I think I have evaluated that I subconsciously like women in power…someone who knows what she wants. And a nice smile, I think. So, Sarah Roger.”
“I worked at a historic village, kind of like Williamsburg, from when I was nine pretty much until I came here…I dressed up.”
When was the last time that you cried? “Probably something Last Call related. I’m very much known as the guy who, something swells up inside of me, and I will shed a tear in the name of brotherhood and song.”
Stephen Pennings ‘15 Agricultural Sciences Warwick, NY
What feature do you notice first In a girl?
“Boobs.”
What’s your idea of a perfect date? “Probably some sort of quad or snow mobile ride—depends on the time of year. Then we’d stop at some nice vista with a valley where I live. We’d have a few drinks, and then, uh, I don’t fool around…”
Calling all damsels in distress! If you dream of being rescued from a burning building by a hunky fireman, Stephen Pennings is the man for you! Seriously though, we wouldn’t mind being swooped into his arms—or going for a ride with him in his pick-up truck. Stephen’s the kind of guy who you can have fun with no matter what. He’s silly, genuine, and did we mention, HE’S A VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTER! So if you think you have a burning desire to meet him, buy him a glass of hard cider (his new favorite drink), and ask him about growing up on the apple orchard. And maybe one day this man in uniform will be all yours! ♥ What’s your best pick-up line?
What part of your body is your favorite?
“Making eye contact is always nice…then you walk over in slow motion…and start some conversation, like, ‘how’s the weather?’”
“My cowlick. It’s a pain in the ass, but it’s always been with me. And when I was in second and third grade, girls loved it!”
Gabe Salvatierra ‘15 Architecture San Diego, CA
“I like what I do with my hands, I’m an architect and those are my tools.”
Gabe is a California B-A-B-E. Hailing from San Diego, he brings the heat to Ithaca. His endearing awkwardness will literally melt your heart, yet his chill personality will put you at ease. When he’s not building beautiful models of the skyscrapers of our future, Gabe is busy perfecting his skills as a DJ. So, yes, lucky for you, this edgy archie does make it out of studio--and he wants to spend his free time with you! If you find this California dude undeniable, share some good conversation and some Carne Asada fries (his favorite!). Be the architect of an amazing romance! ♥
If you had to be on a reality TV show, which one would it be? “Is there a guys version of Bad Girls Club?”
What’s your idea of a perfect date? “Live music is always a good option. It’s nice to be able to dance with who you’re with.”
Henry Staley ‘16 Philosophy, History Piedmont, CA
Henry Staley has the literary mind of F. Scott Fitzgerald and the dashing good looks of Ryan Gosling. Interested yet? Who are we kidding? Of course you are! But be prepared for a challenge, because this hunky intellect sometimes prefers to shy away from the spotlight. A self described “dreamer,” Henry would rather spend his time reading than raging. So, yeah, he’s more than just a pretty face with a luscious head of hair. He is smart and he is deep. And if you have a proclivity for profound conversation and guys who look hot in sweater vests, Henry Staley is the man for you. ♥ Would you date Taylor Swift? “It would be an honor.”
What’s your best pick-up line? “I don’t believe in pick-up lines. Pick-up lines are for scumbags.”
How can a girl win your heart? “Usually it’s the other way around. I have to win theirs. I guess I try to be myself as much as possible.”
CORNELLIGIBLE
BACHELORS
Special Thanks to All the Parents of the Cornelligible Bachelors Project Lead Dani Kellner Mag Editor-in-Chief Leela Chantrelle Layout Editor Nicole Hamilton
Photographers Celeste Cirillo-Penn, Nicole Hamilton, Sarah Sonenberg Writers Leela Chantrelle, Dani Kellner