5 minute read
Cannonball Enlightenment
from SLUH Magazine
by SLUH
ALUMNI REFLECT ON TRANSFORMATIONAL MOMENTS OF IMPACT
On May 20, 1521, St. Ignatius of Loyola was injured in battle by a cannonball – and thus began his enormous change of life during recovery, from a soldier to a spiritual pilgrim went on to start the Society of Jesus, the largest order in the Catholic Church. To mark the 500th anniversary of that fateful day, the Ignatian family is celebrating an Ignatian Year through July 2022.
As a tribute to Ignatius and his leadership, heroism and spirit, several alumni reflect on their own ‘cannonball moments’ when they felt called to pursue a religious vocation.
Fr. Bill Sheahan, SJ ’85
Rector, Ciszek Hall Jesuit Residential College at Fordham University in New York
In January of my senior year, two classmates and I arrived at St. Stephen’s Indian Mission in Wyoming to begin our three-week Senior Project. We would serve as grade school teachers’ aides at St. Stephen’s School. The school and the mission, at that time sponsored by the then-Missouri Province Jesuits, served Arapaho and Shoshone residents living on the Wind River Reservation.
Our schedule called for the three of us to attend 7:15 a.m. daily Mass at the mission church before going to work at the school. Although otherwise cooperative to what was asked of us, we ignored the Mass attendance requirement. Except one morning, I awoke early and could not sleep. Frustrated, I got up and decided to go to Mass.
As I headed outside, the sun barely pierced the darkness. Everywhere was silence, save for the sound of my every step as my boots punched through the frozen, crusted snow. Ahead, I noticed lights on in the church. Opening the church door, I looked up at a multicolored, Native American-style mural of the Holy Spirit covering the ceiling. The Stations of the Cross represented Jesus as an Indian. The Christmas creche depicted the Holy Family nestled in a small teepee. This place, so foreign, somehow felt inviting. During Mass, I felt moved to be a Jesuit.
Although it would be many years before I discerned that God was giving me the grace to be a Jesuit, I identify that morning pilgrimage, that Mass, that silence, as my ‘cannonball moment.’
Fr. Brian Fallon ’04
Vocation Director, Archdiocese of St. Louis Pastor, Church of Magdalen
I had heard about the grueling schedule at SLUH, but I just thought they said it to impress the parents. But when I found myself with poor grades after freshman year, I realized I had underestimated Backer Memorial and the institution built upon it.
Ignatius of Loyola took a cannonball head-on. It shattered one leg and badly damaged another. This sent him reeling: he had miscalculated life’s meaning, and had staked his worth upon gallantry now vanished. Poor Algebra grades might not have foiled my life as badly as Ignatius, but I was in high school. I was used to catastrophizing.
My recovery looked a lot different than that of our storied saint. He was bedridden with religious books, whereas I went on a two-week backpacking trip with my scout troop. I had lightened my pack down to the necessary
Illustration by Charles Bieg '22
gear, but what weighed me down were my father’s questions: “You’re starting sophomore year. Who are you really? What do you really want?”
Ascending and descending mountain ranges in silence, I started to name my deeper desires. I wanted to help others. I wanted to use my gifts to bring the world joy. Perhaps priesthood was a way I could do this. I wasn’t sure, but I knew what my next steps would be.
The recuperating soldier found solace in pursuing a life of sanctity. He trusted in Christ and became grateful for a worldview shattered. In my own way, I am, too.
Joe Laughlin, nSJ ’17
1st Year Novice, Society of Jesus
Getting to know the Jesuits during my four years at SLUH filled my imagination with the possibility that maybe I was called to become one. The Society of Jesus remained just one among many possible paths my life might take until early in my sophomore year at Saint Louis University. One day, I was enjoying a casual conversation with my psychology professor before class. After talking for a bit, he stopped to look at me and asked, “Are you a Jesuit?” I paused a bit before stammering out, “Uhh…no…what made you think that?” I was surprised by the question. People had asked me if I had thought about being a Jesuit before, but no one had ever thought that I was one already!
“Uh oh,” I thought, “I better start taking this vocational discernment seriously.” These days, when someone asks me, “Are you a Jesuit?” I have the privilege of answering, “Yes!” As a Jesuit novice, I am continuing to discern whether Jesus is calling me to labor with him in the Society of Jesus.
Fr. Joe Laramie, SJ ’96
National Director for the USA, Pope's Worldwide Prayer Network
In the Bible, God speaks from the heavens. In my junior year, a voice thundered from above when the principal called my name during the afternoon announcements. “These students must come to my office immediately after school: Joe Laramie, Scott Wallisch, Tim Chik, and…” It was my junior year and I sat in Mr Hussung’s English class in October of 1995. That was my cannonball moment; that announcement led me to a Jesuit vocation. The six of us arrived at Principal Owens’ office. He sat at his desk while Fr. Jim Knapp, SJ stood next to him. “Gentlemen, we’re starting a new retreat. It’s called Kairos. You will attend the retreat at Rockhurst High in the spring, and then you’ll lead the retreat here in the fall. Will you do it?” The six of us looked at each other and talked for a moment. Missing a week of school to go to Kansas City and then leading Kairos #1 at SLUH? “We’re in.” On the retreat, I led my classmates in prayer and spoke to them about faith. I found it joyful and rewarding. It was an experience of vocation, of being called to serve. Seven of the students on this retreat went into the seminary and three of us are now priests: Fr. Scott Wallisch ‘96, Fr. Steve Kramer, SJ ‘96 and myself. Christ was powerfully at work on that retreat. He called to me on those afternoon announcements. Boom.
Are you considering a religious vocation? Learn more at beajesuit.org.
- FR BRIAN FALLON '04
Insignis: Ignatius 500
Check out the new SLUH Insignis podcast episode celebrating the Ignatian Year. Four members of our school community share how the profound conversion of St. Ignatius 500 years ago still inspires the Jesuits, especially in education.
