sex

Ask the Sexpert

Sexologist Rachael L. Ross, MD, PhD, a.k.a. Dr. Rachael answers your questions.

Size Matters

Docs aren’t addressing obese women’s sex lives.

Not only does packing on pounds put us at increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer and osteoarthritis—it can also put a crimp in our sex lives, according to a study conducted by the French National Institute of Health and Medical Research (a.k.a. Inserm) and published in the British Medical Journal.

While looking at the safety of prescribing hormonal contraceptives for young obese women, researchers found that increased body mass index (BMI, a measurement of height to weight ratio) could put these women’s sexual health at risk.

“We found that obese women were 30 percent less likely than normal weight women to report a sexual partner in the last year,” says Caroline Moreau, PhD, MD, an Inserm senior researcher. “We also found that obese women under 30 were 40 percent less likely to seek contraceptive health care services, 65 percent less likely to use oral contraceptives and four times more likely to report an unintended pregnancy.”

Moreau believes self-esteem and body image issues stop obese women from seeking

63

The percent of reproductive-age women who use a temporary form of birth control.

health care services. What’s more, doctors might avoid prescribing effective hormonal-based contraceptives to obese women because docs think excess weight puts them at risk of cardiovascular disease. Combo birth control pills contain estrogen, which can raise some women’s risk of stroke and heart attack.

That means unless clinics and physicians are trained to deliver alternative family planning counseling to obese patients and treat them using appropriate medical supplies (for example, special gynecological tables), an entire population of women may skip health care services. And that should make you (the wrong kind of) hot and bothered. —Cristina González

How do I talk to my teenage son or daughter about dating abuse?

Start by telling your children that love should not hurt; partners should respect each other and offer moral support and help. Teach them that this loving combination is more important than gifts, money and sex. Remember, these lessons will build an invaluable foundation for your kids’ future relationships.

So when you notice that your teenage children are in unhealthy relationships, act swiftly and deliberately. Teen abuse victims withdraw from life, stop doing things they enjoy and are visibly nervous when their abusers are around.

Reassure your children that your love is unconditional. Then ask if their partners make them feel special. Continue the chat by asking your kids what they like about their partners. Regardless of their answers, point out the things you’ve noticed since your children’s dating relationships started. For example, say, “You don’t seem happy. Maybe the relationship isn’t healthy for you.”

During this conversation, let them know you’re always available to talk to them about anything. Your concern has to be understated and unobtrusive but consistent.