April 2012 - MetroEast NEWS by Daniel McCree Foundation

VOLUME 5 ISSUE 6

Presented By: Daniel McCree Foundation j.brooks Digital MetroEast NEWS

ABOUT US MetroEast News is an outreach project of the Daniel McCree Foundation.

Our vision and mission is to provide timely information and events to the entire Southern Illinois Region. We seek to be a voice for those who are traditionally not heard. (READ MORE) Southern Illinois Pride History (READ MORE)

Editor: Colby Kluthe Graphic Design: Jason Brooks Director: Daniel McCree Foundation

Contributors: Mickey Johnson (Carbondale) History & Southern Illinois News Tess Farnham (Belleville) Liberal Arts & Education Susan Spit-Fire Lively (Belleville)

Performing Arts & Spoken Word Aaron Phillip Ruiz (Swansea) At Large: Autumn Pickard (St. Louis)

Common Resources: PFLAG- Belleville IL Chapter St. Louis Gay History Project TransHaven & Belleville Transgender & Friends LGBT Center of St. Louis Metro East Pride of Soutwestern Illinois (MEPSI) Southern Illinois GSA Alliance Equality Illinois & Carbonale Pride, MCC Paducah & Paducah Pride Jennifer Shaw P.C.

ABOUT THE FOUNDATION

Daniel McCree (1979-2007) was an artist & writer from Southern Illinois, and resident of Belleville, IL just prior to his death by suicide in July 2007. Daniel was active in community organizations such as MCC of Greater St. Louis, Bethany Place, Ezekiel Project, and many more. The Daniel McCree Foundation advocates for Suicide Prevention as well as outreach in the areas of HIV/AIDS awareness. Our Outreach projects include the Digital Directory and Monthly Publication as well as an ongoing dialog with those who have lost loved ones too soon. This outreach known as THE VINE, preserves a special place to remember those connected to Daniel either in life or spirit. DanielMcCree.Org was established in 2007 to preserve the original artworks, and develop partnerships as a living legacy to the causes he worked for. We encourage community-wide collaboration, and volunteerism with a focus on giving voice to those not traditionally heard. (LEARN MORE)

BellevillePride~ MetroEast News

INTRODUCTION The 2012 Digital Directory seeks to provide information and resources for those in our community who may not be aware of the vast array of entertainment venues and social services specific to the LGBTQIA community. I hope you will find this directory an environmentally-conscience way to share resources as well as a useful reference for each of you. The month of March can be celebrated for the recent crowning of Mahajanay DeMornay as our 2012 Miss Gay Illinois USofA, and her 1st alternate- Annanecia Diamond. April 14th is Carbondale Queer Prom, sponsored by Rainbow Café and hosted by Carbondale Unitarian Fellowship. On April 21st, SAGE of Metro St. Louis the 3rd Annual LGBT Resource Fair, a collaboration of many of our regions best non-profit organizations and small business resources. This year features multiple events including a Housing focus. Metropolitan Community Church of Greater St. Louis will host this event. Be sure to FOLLOW US ONLINE for more details on these and many more opportunities to get involved this month. Are you a community leader? There are opportunities to volunteer for Metro East Pride of Southwestern Illinois (MEPSI) as well as opportunities to get involved in Carbondale Pride 2012, and Pride St. Louis. The LGBT Center of St. Louis always has a need for volunteers and great ideas for getting involved and meeting new people.

www.lgbtcenterstl.org

“We seek to be a voice for those who traditionally are not heard.”

BROWSE OUR RECENT ISSUES

Most Recent:

January 2012

September 2011

DIRECTORY March 2012

November 2011

August 2011 December 2011

October 2011

February 2012

 "He was a Republican and dated me quickly."  The Center Announces Board Elections  O'Brien Wins Mr. Mo. Leather 2012  Pflag Belleville IL Chapter - APRIL 5TH 6:30pm  Southern Illinois Roller Girls Recruitment Camp APRIL 3RD  "Out and Open" w/ Amy Doll Radio Show 6pm

EVENTS IN APRIL Healthcare in the Headlines: Gender, Sexuality and AIDS (A part of GAYpril!) Healthcare in the Headlines: Gender, Sex... Wednesday, April 11, 2012 at 6:00pm MaryvilleUniversity GSA CHAPTER is reviving a healthcare panel for the month of GAYpril! Come listen to a variety of individuals talk about today's headlines related to healthcare! The panel includes people who will be a valuable resource into your furthering education within your We will discuss today's headlines involved with gender and LGBTQIA equality in the hospital, current developments dealing with the HIV/AIDS viruses and more! A Q&A involving your choice of topic will follow the initial discussion. This will be held in the DUC Atrium. For more information on GAYpril and the other various events we are holding, please visit our GAYpril event page! https://www.facebook.com/events/124741680984088/

Pflag Belleville IL Chapter - APRIL 5TH 6:30pm Southern Illinois Roller Girls Recruitment Camp "Out and Open" w/ Amy Doll Radio Show 6pm Vickie Shaw Fundraiser - April 14 - 8p 3rd Annual LGBT Community Resource Fair - April 21st

Statewide Lobby Day April 25th Bus Transportation is available from either BELLEVILLE or CARBONDALE.

Carbondale, Leaving 7 a.m. sharp from the Church of the Good Shepherd, 515 S. Orchard Drive

Belleville, Leaving 8:45-9:00 a.m. from St. Paul's United Church of Christ, 115 West B St.

“Artistically Speaking!" April 4th (BELLEVILLE)

by: Susan Spit-Fire - MetroEast NEWS

Hello people!! I hope your spring is

live

performance-based

art

with

extraordinary

going well! Looking for a new show to check

musicians, poets, comedians, and more in a second

out? Come to “Artistically Speaking!”

floor gallery filled with exquisite local artwork.

(produced/hosted by Spit-Fire) on Wed., April 4th at Belleville’s gorgeous Seven

Restaurant and Lounge,

(7 S. High St.,

The dedicated staff even keeps the kitchen open late so you can enjoy mouth-watering appetizers ($2.00 Off All Appetizers) and beverages. We have a stellar show planned for next Wed., April 4th! Our Special

Belleville, IL, 62220). Seven, a haven for arts and

Guests include poet and spoken word artist Jay “Love”

entertainment, is located in the heart of historic

Watford (St. Louis, MO), classical swing band Antique

downtown Belleville, IL. To learn more, please call

Swing (Alton, IL), poet and producer Kristin Sharp (St.

(618)

Louis, MO), and vocalist and songwriter Tabitha

277-6700

visit

their

website

www.sevenrestaurantandlounge.com.

Yancey (Belleville, IL). (See bios and attached flier

There’s no cover charge for this event!! The doors

below). It’s going to be another great night!! Hope to

open at 8:00 and the show, which also features an

see you there!

Open Mic, will begin at 9:00. Experience the thrill of

“Artistically Speaking!" April 4th (READ FULL ARTICLE) 7 S. High St., Belleville, IL, 62220

Pflag Belleville IL Chapter - APRIL 5TH 6:30pm Pflag Belleville IL Chapter Our next chapter meeting will be held on thursday April 5th at 6:30pm at St. Pauls United Church of Christ. Our topic of discussion will be Gay Marraige. Members will prepare themselves for participation in Lobby Day in Spfld IL on April 25th. MORE INFO REGARDING LOBBY DAY: Statewide Lobby Day April 25th Pflag Belleville IL Chapter

Carbondale Queer Prom!! April 14 Queer prom is being hosted by the Rainbow Cafe, and is open to everyone ages 14-19. Cost will be 10 dollars at the door and snacks and refreshments will be provided. The theme is based on the 50's-era, a time of rock and roll and drive through restraunts. There will be a photographer available for prom pictures, from 8 to 9ish. It will be a fun night to just be yourself and dance with your significant other, or just dance with friends. If i've left out any information please leave a comment! Make sure to invite your friends from far and wide, it's not exclusive to Carbondale. We hope to see lots of new faces, so come and enjoy being young while you still can!! Carbondale Unitarian Fellowship 105 N. Parrish Lane, Carbondale, IL 62901 www.cuuf.net

Miss Gay Southwest Illinois America 2012 April 15th at Hamburger Mary's St Louis 3037 Olive St, Saint Louis, MO 63103 The Miss Gay Southwest Illinois America is an official preliminary to the 2012 Miss Gay Illinois America Pageant. This year’s theme is “Masquerade Ball.”

BellevillePride~ MetroEast News : Congratulations to the newly crowned Miss Gay Illinois USofA 2012 Mahajanay DeMornay (pictured right) and the 1st alternate Annanecia Diamond.

J Brooks Digital is the official graphics designer for BellevillePride~ MetroEast News J Brooks Digital Custom Banners & Logos & Web Graphics ( $40 each) *discounts on multiple orders Professional Grade Graphics Made Easy ---->Professional grade digital graphic design services per request.

St. Louis Gender Foundation www.stlouisgenderfoundation.org

Statewide Lobby Day April 25th CITIZEN LOBBYISTS TO JOIN EQUALITY ILLINOIS OUTREACH VIA Equality Illinois March 22,2012 (SPRINGFIELD) With same-sex marriage, hate crimes and anti-bullying proposals on the table, Equality Illinois is sponsoring a major lobbying initiative here in the capital city to let state lawmakers know of the importance the LGBT community places on these significant initiatives. More than 200 citizen lobbyists from all over the state will join the Equality Illinois professional staff and bipartisan advocacy team in button-holing scores of House and Senate members and representatives of Executive Branch officeholders. A full day of meetings and receptions is planned. “We want to impress on the state’s leaders, particularly in an election year, the level of passion and commitment that LGBT voters and their allies place on these issues,” said Randy Hannig, Director of Public Policy for Equality Illinois. “It is important for officials to hear from their constituents in person and to know that the Equality Illinois citizen lobbyists represent thousands more voices in their districts and throughout Illinois.” Equality Illinois, the state’s oldest and largest LGBT advocacy organization, is following many bills in the legislature, Hannig said, but among the biggest issues is the Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act, which would create marriage equality in Illinois. “It may take many months to build support for marriage equality, so we have to let legislators know again and again how important this is,” Hannig said. Also on the agenda is Equality Illinois support for adding gender identity, military status and immigration status to protected classes under the state’s hate crimes law. Another crucial bill would require all Illinois schools to develop new measures against bullying and cyberbullying. “From the passage of LGBT anti-discrimination protections in 2005 to the civil unions bill in 2010, the Illinois legislature has broadened access to equality in the state, but each of those victories was the result of hard-fought battles,” said Bernard Cherkasov, CEO of Equality Illinois.

“There is so much more to accomplish, which is why we have a permanent lobbying operation in Springfield and why we urge LGBT voters and our allies to join us for this special lobbying day.” Buses will depart from Chicago, Oak Park, Bolingbrook, Carbdondale and Belleville. LGBT supporters who wish to participate in Equality Illinois Lobby Day, whether they plan to take the organization’s buses or travel on their own, are asked to sign up at http://tinyurl.com/MarriageEQILobbyday2012, where all participants can find more details. Bus Transportation: PURCHASE BUS TICKETS ONLINE Chicago, Leaving 7 a.m. sharp from the Equality Illinois office, 3318 N. Halsted Street Oak Park, Leaving 7 a.m. sharp from the Euclid Avenue United Methodist Church, 405 S. Euclid Avenue Bolingbrook, Leaving 7:45-8 a.m. from Denny's Restaurant, 126 East North Frontage Road, Exit 267 off of I-55 South (Stevenson Expressway)

Carbondale, Leaving 7 a.m. sharp from the Church of the Good Shepherd, 515 S. Orchard Drive

Belleville, Leaving 8:45-9:00 a.m. from St. Paul's United Church of Christ, 115 West B St.

Lobby Day Schedule:  About 11 a.m. - All buses will drop off attendees at The Hoogland Center for the Arts, 420 South 6th Street, Springfield. Supporters traveling on their own should meet the group there.  11 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. – Lunch and presentation on talking points and effective lobbying 12:30 – 1:30 p.m. - Reception with state Comptroller Judy Baar Topinka in the State Capitol building, Room 201  1:30 – 4 p.m. - Meeting with legislators at the Illinois State Capitol building 4:15-5:45 p.m. – Debriefing and reception sponsored by Springfield Alderman Cory Jobe  5:45 p.m. – Buses depart Springfield Equality supporters from the entire state are welcome and encouraged to join us in Springfield!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Notable Passages: James May (65) PADUCAH Notable Passages: James May (65) PADUCAH By: Michael Scott (PADUCAH) Mr. James A. May, 65, of Mayfield died Tuesday, March 6, 2012 in Marshall County, KY. He was a retired chemical engineer with Honeywell Inc., and a member of Trace Creek Baptist Church. May was the owner of "JIM's PLACE" in Paducah, which closed its doors during the Summer of 2011. Services for Mr. May were held on Wednesday, March 21, 2012 in the Byrn Funeral Home Chapel with Rev. Ronnie Stinson, Sr. officiating. Burial will follow in the Trace Creek Church Cemetery. Visitation will be 5:00-8:00P.M. On Tuesday, March 20, 2012 at the funeral Home.

Brad Fennel, a performance artist explains further: “It is unimaginable what they went through, they had engine trouble, drifted into the spillway of the dam, on the river side. One brother survived, and Jim and his other brother didn't make it. It took over a week to located Jim; they found him this past Saturday." Services for Mr. May will be 2:00P.M., Wednesday, March 21, 2012

2012 SPONSORS “BUY LOCAL OR BYE LOCAL”

J.Brooks Digital “The Premier Graphics in the Metro East Region”

www.SmartChoiceSTL.com “Smart Solutions for Web Development”

Bethel United Church of Christ (Cahokia, IL) 2200 Camp Jackson Road, Cahokia, Illinois 62206 (Just off Interstate 255,Cahokia Exit 13) Sunday Morning Worship at 10:00 am.

Pastor: Rev. Carol Shanks (618) 939-4835 www.CahokiaUCC.org

Practical Solutions For All Aspects of Family Law 201 Hillsboro Avenue | Suite A | Edwardsville | Illinois | 62025

618.655.0555 | Fax 618.655.9460

www.JaShawLaw.com ONE SAINT LOUIS www.OneSaintLouis.org (314) 241-1114 info@onesaintlouis.org

www.bellevilleilpflag.com Meets the first Thursday Of the month 6:30PM FIND THEM ON FACEBOOK

Southern Illinois Roller Girls Recruitment Camp APRIL 3rd Questions? E-mail: thedreadpiraterobyn@gmail.com Southern Illinois Roller Girls Recruitment Camp (photo by Jeff Bazzell and model: 2 Tone Maude) (MARION)

Orientation:

Marion, IL

April 3rd Auditions: April 5th 7-9pm both days At: The Pavilion in Marion, IL (behind the Illinois Centre Mall) Must: Bring mouthguard; attend both sessions; be 21+ with ID Limited amount of loaner gear (first come, first serve)

March 2012 MetroEast NEWS

Metro East Pride of Southwestern Illinois Announces New Board Members

March 13, 2012 (BELLEVILLE) via MetroEast Pride

Metro East Pride of Southwestern Illinois Announces New Board Members. "Congrats to MEPSI's newest Board Members Joshua Holmgren, Kate Baker, and Vengerflutta Smith." explained in a recent announcement. Metro East Pride is preparing for the 5th Annual Festival in Belleville, and has been planned for the weekend of June 16th. The mission of MEPSI is to To provide the Metro East Area of Southwestern Illinois community with various functions throughout the year, to promote and engage in educational, civic and cultural activities in order to enrich the lives of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgender, Questioning, & Allied people and the community as a whole, and to work together to achieve common goals.

TransHaven serves the advocacy needs of the Transgender Communities of Missouri and St. Louis Region. www.TransHaven.org Pflag Belleville

Chapter meeting will be held on first thursday of each month. at St. Pauls United Church of Christ in Belleville. We will review PFLAG Nationals Straight for Equality Program; discussing efffective ways to reach the straight community and encourage those same individuals to become allies for the lgbtq community. Pflag Belleville IL Chapter

St. Louis Gender Foundation - celebrating 25 years of service to our region! www.stlouisgenderfoundation.org

Kristin Beckstrom Radcliffe, MSW, LCSW 8 Eagle Center, Suite 4 O'Fallon, IL 618-616-1235 www.kbradcliffe.com

BellevillePride~ MetroEast News VISIT OUR WEBSITE

MetroEast News is an outreach of the Danie McCree Foundation. Become a Sponsor Today!

A Night of Laughter with Vickie Shaw at MCC of Greater Saint Louis

Vickie Shaw looks like the woman next door... AllAmerican with blond hair, lipstick and polished nails.

1919 S. Broadway 63104 on Saturday, April 14, 2012 - 8p Buy Tickets Now!

"I don't look the part. I blow away all their stereotypes. I'm the woman next door except I just happen to be gay."

VIP Tickets - SOLD

www.vickieshaw.com

OUT General Admission Ticket holders ($30 per ticket) will be non-reserved, open seating, beginning at 7:30p.

3rd Annual LGBT Community Resource Fair (Sponsored by Sage Metro St. Louis) Saturday, April 21st 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Location: MCC of Greater St. Louis 1919 South Broadway, St. Louis, MO 63109 Click on link below for more information LGBT Resource Fair

Once she opens her mouth, you'll know she was born and raised in Texas and you'll never stop laughing.

"He was a Republican and dated me quickly." By Aaron Phillip Ruiz (FEATURE) "He was a Republican and dated me quickly."

I heard he is married and has a kid. He was a Republican and dated me quickly. The sex was the nicest Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever ridden but, A hyena will gnaw off his own paw to escape the teeth of a metal jaw down shut. A male Beta fish will sometimes fling himself out of bowl to flop ingloriously on the flat of the tile floor and just dry there. A pinned butterfly thinly breaks off his two wings into metallic dust in cold effort to fly once more. And also he, my Republican boyfriend, hobbled away, leaving a shiny residue in my hand, And a canine trail of blood to the door, And when there, he barrel rolled swiftly under a coffee table. Gills heaving, he was free to not be whatever he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to admit to being. And the man just stayed there.

Read More Features by MetroEast NEWS

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Shannon’s Tie Dye Save a Hippie—Wear Tie Dye TessiLu Studio - Commision Artist & Writer

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SEVEN RESTAURANT AN LOUNGE

“A bold Hot-spot Where Everyone is Welcome. “ 7 South High Street Belleville, Illinois 62220

www.sevenrestaurantandlounge.com Free-flow Poetry & Live Music Venue

SAGE Metro St. Louis SAGE of Metro St. Louis, provides services and advocacy to LGBT older adults. They are located in the Tower Grove Manor Building on South Grand.

www.SageMetroSTL.org

3rd Annual LGBT Community Resource Fair

Poem to my brother by Aaron Phillip Ruiz –MetroEast NEWS

Inheritance You claimed a possession by the Spirit of Saint Louis and sighed as Vs of geese flew like airplanes overhead. I coughed that Caution is a small albatross. And as one amelia earhart to another, I offered, You will fall if you risk to attempt. There will be no dawn. Only to drown in a place no one will ever find. So you can understand how I still hold upright posture on the flat of the planet. This landing locus of source and ending. I’ve been you, my brother, I’ve flown Like a father to a son I say, I’ve fallen from higher than you could ever, How our grandfather flew planes in the war, our greater grandfather and then one eventual grandfather way before back to a son of wax wings, who flew straight down a hole in the atmosphere and dragged us all behind him through the air, nailing us to the wide gravity. You come from a long line of crashing, kid. We buy our bandaids in bulk We hold a collective hubris we began when our young arms flung out toward specks on the horizon and we spat out words to our older brothers and father how we will be the first to cross that sea. But you, the malgré lui king, hear nothing I have said, you stare into the sun, and in the blind bottomless thirst for fresher oxygens you say, with your arms spanning to greet much higher pressures, Come, my brother, and meet me in the air. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ruiz is a resident of Swansea, Illinois and has attended Southwestern Illinois College in Belleville. Aaron has also served as the Co-Editor of the McKendree Montage at McKendree University in Lebanon, IL. Aaron joined MetroEast NEWS as a contributor in January 2012 and provides freelance prose in various topics of choice. 

"He was a Republican and dated me quickly." was not the original title of this article. It was adjusted for indexing.

MetroEast NEWS

Here is Your Handbook for Heartbreak: A Springback Survival Guide for Single Girls When Ice-Cream is Not Enough By Tess Farnham- MetroEast NEWS

But you know, the most perplexing part of this is, it I could barely tolerate him upon our first meeting. And then as fate would have it, the moment I rearranged my thoughts about that, he began to back away. All of a sudden it was me working to keep him instead of him trying to woo me and win me over. I mean as if I couldn’t do a thing for myself anymore. I spent all my free time looking for ways to make sure he was happy and confident in knowing how much I loved him. And now I”ve done that, he’s moved on to the next conquest. Why did he try so hard at the beginning just to let me go like this? Last week I found myself listening as a friend let go those words in the sauna at the girl’s gym, her eyes rimmed in crimson, tears making rivulets that dripped on her terry cloth dress and neck; meanwhile, as I groped to find the right response, I felt my own sense of longing and loss grabbing at the hem of my heart. After all, it wasn’t so long ago I had found myself saying such things as well. And in the throes of that full-throated aftershock of agony and insecurity, it also occurred to me how ill-equipped we mortals be in the face of heartbreak. It would seem that biology prepares us in oh so many ways to fall in love, but sadly does nothing whatsoever to help us fall out of it. And so in light of science and lack of knowledge about the actual anatomy and physiology that supports such insanity, here I humbly offer this virtual handbook for heartbreak, something I’ve been trying to do for myself for quite some time as well. To begin, I thought I would start with a to-do list for you, (but also for her in my groping, I am pretty sure I only said something to make it worse, not better) something printable and easy to carry around in your purse. Because coping with the loss of love can be exhausting. Especially when it seems all you can do is obsess over and over to the point of neglecting the most basic need for sustenance and sleep. Let alone tend to the needs of a battered and abandoned psyche. So here it is, something to focus on after the (much needed) first crying spell passes and you start to get some perspective back: 26

Number one and most important of all: Let go of the urge to let him know how much he has meant to you and write a love letter to yourself instead. To begin with, it’s you who’s hurting right now and we both know he’s probably already got the foxes ready for the hunt again. He is much too preoccupied with that activity to give you a second thought. And you need to let him have the freedom to seek that love from someone else now. You have done your best. Let the one who’s getting all his attention be the one to lavish it back on him. The fact that you were able to open your heart to him like a rose in winter speaks volumes about the way you view the world in general. And chances are you didn’t break that mold on him either. You are a bundle of love and cuddles no matter where you go or who you meet. There are a bazillion creatures out there who appreciate that trait in a person, from the homeless guy you bought that sandwich for to the baby bird you scooped up off the ground and climbed that tree to put her back. You are the embodiment of love and kindness. And what’s not to cherish about that? Time to pull your petals close to keep your heart safe from someone who doesn’t love himself enough to open up to you. .. so that later you’ll be able to open them again for someone who loves you just the way you are, unabashed lover of the ones who are hardest to love in the first place. You touch a lot of lives with that stuff, Honey. And the world will never forget you for it. 2. Now that you have written that love letter to remind yourself how precious and special you truly are, it’s time to do a bit of triage and bandage-rolling. Time to focus on helping your heart to heal again. Make a list of cons to avoid.

Jim Morrison's Mugshot - Florida 1970 (Photo credit: SongLyrics) And do it first thing in the morning before the light of day hits the empty dent on the other side of the bed. ..and the tears begin to fall again. (Ordinarily I would suggest a pros column too, but let’s face it. If you have read this far, it’s a good bet you have that one down ad nauseum.) The truth is, we already spend a lot of precious reality hours fantasizing and assigning all kinds of unearned adoration to the objects of our infatuations. Time to look at this diamond in the rough for the slovenly couch fart that it really is. And be truthful to yourself the way you would for a friend who was suffering at the hands of someone so uncaring and circle-jerkish. Ask yourself the hard questions now and don’t be afraid to let the fritos fall where they may. Among the beercans and roach clips that your once beloved left lying all over the house as well. Is it really all that cute when he burps the words to “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” ? Or is it cuter that you were able to overlook it and laugh with him. .. the unconditional depth of the way you let yourself open to a dope who didn’t deserve you. .. like a magnolia or a lily of the mountains? Get real, Girl. And give credit where credit is due. 3. Now that you have a jumpstart on that process, begin a list of all the things that speak to the awesomeness that is you. (Again, you’ve already done the list full of nitpicks and magnified flaws and that has just been making things worse, so it’s time to do something different!) It helps if you can recall some compliments people have lavished on YOU for a change and validate them as authentic and true! Make a list of advances, flirtations and smiles received! That attractive younger man who smiled a flirt at you from across the bus today. . .the chivalrous senior citizen who helped you off the sidewalk when you knees buckled from

spasms much higher up and the memory of those cruel words from the beercans man. ..and then offered his seat to you. . .and wouldn’t relent until you rested. 4. Don’t be afraid to get back under the bubbles! And make it a long and luxurious candle-lit affair. With the soapiest and softest of sponges and a brand new bar of the most luxurious soap you own. Lavender is lovely for calming and it helps if you really let it soak into the pores and soothe you. 5. Nourish your poor neglected and grumbling tummy. After you’ve followed that last item up with some nice silky face cream and moisturizer applied to each and every adorable inch of yourself, eat a leisurely breakfast in the sexiest, silkiest most prettiest robe and slippers in your lingerie arsenal. Try to make that sustenance something yummy and healthy so you will feel satiated sans the chemical burn of eating the wrong things. (Smoothies are nice and easy to make for this and they are also very accommodating to the need to refrain from any kind of food that requires the minorest of mastication.)

smoothie (Photo credit: talkoftomatoes) Try this recipe: Mix 1 cup of plain greek yogurt with 1/2 cup of frozen fruit with a tablespoon of honey and bananna and blend! 6. Go to work or call a friend and make plans to do something fun! I know the temptation to stay home and rest some more is hard to resist but what are you resting from if not this newfound loneliness and ache to bond with others, so try to be around people as much as possible! So much the better if your friends/ co-workers are the kind who make you laugh instead of cry! (And for heaven’s sake, resist the urge to indulge in the temporary fix of meaningless drunken sex with some guy who just broke the heart of a very nice girl to do it with you! All you get from that is a walk of shame in rumpled clothes the next morning. ..and a guy who won’t stop texting and checking the like box on every photo you post on facebook!!) 7. Get some aromatherapy! Lavender is lovely for calming, but I once had a recommendation for grieving that involved making a concoction of rose and orange oil. There really is something to this stuff I swear! And it really does help a lot! 8. Restrain all urges towards all forms of electronic communication! Resist that regrettable text message or email by writing a paper letter and then tearing it to shreds. Your purse-sized notebook will once again come in handy for those times on line with an i-phone in your pocket! Don’t forget to use it to record any and all advances and flirtations that get flung your way while you wait! 9. Make a date with the hairstylist, manicurist, massage therapist, shoe salesman. . . Let’s face it; it is physical contact you crave in emergency proportions about now and rather than stripping down and dialing 911, you might want to opt instead for the soft lights and soothing music provided while being shampooed and pampered. 10. Fresh air and exercise! One of the things our bodies just don’t get enough of these days is sunshine and rainbows, but especially if we spend our days inside hunched over a box of puffs. Walking in the park is good if you can get that, but a stroll around the neighborhood is pretty sweet stuff too. Be sure to stop and chat with people as you wish. Make your face into a half smile and breathe deeply if it doesn’t come easily at first. The more kindness that gets spread around, the more it comes back to you as well. 28

12. Find a positive self-love and kindness mantra and try to say it over and over until it manifests. (There is one you can use from Hinduism to call your soulmate and it goes like this: Sat Pateem Dehi Para Mesh Vara.) But anything simple and repetitive will do. (I once did this one as I walked through tears through the springtime streets in my neighborhood at the time: “I love the world and the world loves me.” No kidding when I tell you that as I entered the home stretch I was greeted by a smiling neighbor child who threw his arms into the air and lunged for a hug! Seriously, I had seen this boy before, but never had he been so openly affectionate towards me! To this day, whenever I tell that story, I always credit him for being adorable, but also the power of that mantra! ) 13. Immerse yourself in some kind of creative activity and let your tears fall into the mix until you emerge with something new and beautiful. (This can be anything from cooking to fingerpainting or just cutting and pasting with glitter and kiddie art supplies from the dollar store. The main thing is just be child-like and kind to yourself. Just play! If you can summon up the voice of someone from your childhood who was loving and supportive and said things like, “My dear that is luminous and splendid! I just love how that shines under the light of your smile!” . ..so much the better! 14. Hug a teddy. I like Pooh for this one a lot! (Especially love to keep a copy of the Tao of Pooh at the ready for it’s lovely advice and kindness as well.) 15. Do something sweet for someone else now that you have all that free time to nurture on your hands: Something as simple as volunteering to work in your grandmother’s garden or making some chicken soup for a fellow broken-hearted pal! And just remember: every good turn deserves another so the payback on this one is heaven! 16. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in three months time. Nurturing urges being tended to and the acknowledgement of others being truly beautiful! A hundred and ninety-five pounds lighter. . .happier

and dressed for success in finding a nice guy who is also capable of giving and receiving the kind of love you have to offer. Do you miss Mr. Heartbreak From This Day Forward now? Well, do you? Truly?

Tess Farnham, "Forest for the Trees," mixed media on raised birch panel, 10" x 10" c. 2012 “Forest for the Trees,” mixed media heartbreak art soon to be released!

PRIDE FEST 2012 June 23th and 24th 11am-8pm Tower Grove Park 4256 Magnolia Avenue St Louis, MO 63110-3569 Commitment Ceremony at 3:00pm on Saturday Official Pride Parade at 12:00pm on Sunday

Club Traz – Home of CARBONDALE PRIDE

METRO EAST PRIDE OF SOUTHWESTERN ILLINOIS (MEPSI) www.MetroEastPride.com

Upcoming EVENTS