SHE WAS AS BRIGHT AS THE SUN

PROSE BY CHARLOTTE KENT

I watched her in the mirror from my seat on her bed. Her fingers, with nails painted the color of lilacs, held a makeup brush, and my eyes followed her hand as she dusted baby pink eyeshadow on her eyelids. And although in her presence I always felt safe and content, like I didn’t need anything else in the world but her, like she was air, and water and shelter and I had been suffocating, there was still a feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t get rid of. Even when I tried to focus all my attention on how she looked getting ready in the mirror then, I still felt sick. And she seemed perfectly fine, so naturally, I thought I was immensely stupid for worrying.

“Do you think they’ll talk?” I asked, momentarily meeting eyes with her in the mirror. She didn’t look back at me though, she just paused for a short moment and then continued on her makeup.

“Talk about what?” she asked.

“You know.” I tilted my head down like an embarrassed puppy that just destroyed a brand new couch. “Us,” I said, wondering how she could act like she didn’t know what I was talking about.

I saw her shoulders shrug, her back tensing, and then relaxing. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I mean, probably. People talk about other people all the time.”

I looked down and straightened my black dress over my bare knees before I spoke again. “What will they think?”

“Does it matter?” she asked, setting the brush down on her vanity and finally turning to face me.

Yes, I thought. I didn’t like to be talked about, good or bad. I hated not knowing when my name came out of other people’s mouths.

But we were having too good of an evening for me to say my thoughts out loud. She looked like the sun, and I swear she was as bright as it too. I couldn’t ruin that.

“I just don’t want a lot of attention.” That’s what I said instead, but what I really meant was I don’t want people to not like me, I don’t want people to see my face and immediately be filled with dread or sigh when I open my mouth, and I think she knew me well enough to understand that’s what I wanted to say.

She looked me right in the eyes, and I somewhat loved and hated it when she did that. When she was staring right back at me, it was like she was the only person left on planet earth. The apocalypse was in full force and she was my only saving grace. Everything else goes dark except for her.