Sis, Boom, Blah

The Fourth of July is a blast — mostly.

the croWD gaThers along the water’s edge, stretching across the backyards circling the cove. Towels and blankets are strewn every which way across the grass as neighbors and their families seek out the best vantage point.

it won’t be dark enough for at least another hour, and the onlookers have brought coolers stocked with drinks and snacks. eventually a beach ball materializes to be tossed and bounced above and across the viewing parties. The smell of bug repellent is thick since it’s summer, when mosquitoes and heat arrive together each year like an old married couple. it’s warm this July, but not sweltering, and the thunderstorms that threatened earlier in the day have moved on to ruin someone else’s celebration. as the skies darken, the crowd volume lowers to a murmur as all wait with anticipation for that first booming sound in the distance. i’ll let you in on a little secret. Well, it might be kind of a big secret. i’m a bit reluctant to let this out into the universe. o nce i admit this there’s no turning back. Well, here goes: i don’t really like July 4. Wait, that’s not right, i do like July i know, i know, it’s downright una merican to not love, love, love our annual pyrotechnic obsessions. i ’m sure many of you are thinking — come on Kimba, what’s not to like about fireworks? i hear others gleefully ooh and aah in the darkness and gasp in delight as stars explode and cascade across a dark sky. and i do enjoy the beauty of an initial big loud burst of shimmery gold lights fading into colors of red, blue, and green. however, and i’m just putting this out there, after about ten minutes, it’s boring. if you’re being honest, during most fireworks displays, about midway through you’re either thinking about the desserts left out back on the picnic table or kitchen counter, or you’re contemplating how to beat potential traffic issues on your way back home. you know what’s the worst? When you think the fireworks are over, but’s it’s a mini finale fake out, and you stand up and wipe grass and dirt off your backside only to hear another boom and realize, damn, there’s more. so you squat back down, but now you’re uncomfortable and thirsty and your last beer has tipped over into the grass (you knocked it over when you stood up) and there’s something furry and multi-legged crawling across your foot and it somehow seems even muggier than just a few minutes ago and great, now you also need to pee.

4 — i just don’t really like fireworks.

But you sit back down because might as well since you’re already here and you wonder if you’ll make the effort to do this again next year, but you know you will for one very important reason: because the hubs loves to watch things go boom. and so, you sigh and look up above and wait for the next burst of stars and you smile as the hubs holds your hand and whispers “Do you think there’s any éclair cake left?” happy July Fourth, everyone.

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