Let them be your crystal ball

Years ago during a teeth cleaning, an older dental hygienist offered some advice. She told me to let other people be my crystal ball — to observe their lives and learn from their mistakes, and to also note their successes and triumphs. Doing this would save valuable time.

I was in my early 20s during this visit to the dentist. Even though I’ve never forgotten what she said, I did what most young people do. I fumbled and frolicked through a few decades, falling down, getting up and learning many lessons along the way. Nonetheless, the crystal ball guidance was always on my mind.

My mom’s cancer diagnosis changed her outlook. She viewed life in a new way, knowing that her time on earth was limited.

When you assume you have all the years in the world, you take things and people and moments for granted, but when you see the end in sight, things clear up quickly. You realize small things matter more than you thought and the “big” things matter less, if at all.

Weeks before my mom‘s passing, she held onto both of my hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Listen to me, darling. Figure out what makes you happy and do that over and over. I want you to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

At that time, there were situations and people in my life draining me of love, energy and light. She didn’t mention those specific things, but she and I both knew her point of reference. After her death, I made a number of changes. Although my grief was overwhelming, her encouragement in those final moments led me on a new life journey, one that I adore very much.

About a month before my mom passed, my sister‘s fatherin-law died of pulmonary fibrosis. He was a wonderful, salt-ofthe-earth man. Before his death, he wrote letters to everyone he loved. The letter he wrote to my sister included these words, “Keep life simple and family close.” At his funeral, one of the pastors talked about the memories we leave for our children, grandchildren and other family members. We should live in a way we want them to remember us. The pastor said, “We think we have a memory, but really, the memory has us.” Every day, every moment is a chance to not only create a memory for us but also a memory for those around us.

I recently listened to an Audible book by Mel Robbins. She unpacked the concept of worry and regret. She cited a study where researchers asked 1,500 people over age 65 what haunts them the most when reflecting upon their lives. The top eight answers were:

Not being careful enough when choosing a life partner. Not resolving a family estrangement. Putting off saying how you feel. Not traveling enough. Spending too much time worrying. Not being honest. Not taking enough career chances. Not taking care of your body.

Older folks know things. They have wisdom and experience. We must listen and let them be our crystal balls. I often notice how elderly people watch kids and teenagers. They have a wistful, faraway look in their eyes as if they’re remembering their childhoods or their children’s younger years. It’s interesting how the long-term memory stays intact, even when short-term tasks like eating lunch or taking a pill are forgotten.

As the summer hits its crux, my schedule is maxed out with activities and escapades. Weekends and vacation days are booked with trips, events, concerts, cookouts and more. My boyfriend and I are also training for triathlons. Our packed agenda may look hectic to an outside eye, but to us, it’s exciting. We have numerous opportunities to make new memories, stories we can tell years from now when we’re grandparents.

In writing and in conversations, I like to espouse the meaning of life. I’m 41-years old, which may sound young to some, but I feel older and older every day. I think about those eight suggestions from the 65 and older crowd. Each day is one less day to see the world, hug people I love or try something new.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is by the brilliant Mary Oliver. I’m sure you’ve heard it, but let me ask again. “Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (Susanna Shetley is a writer, editor and digital media specialist with The Smoky Mountain News, Smoky Mountain Living and

Mountain South Media. susanna.b@smokymountainnews.com)

Susanna Shetley Columnist

The truth really does matter

To the Editor:

In our never-ending search for truth, Americans must accept (if nothing else) one predominant lesson from January 6. Identified fittingly by David French in TheDispatch.com, he states simply: “When you tell tens of millions of Americans one political party is trying to steal an election, some Americans will act like a party is stealing an election.” Despite the total absence of supporting evidence, the Republican grassroots remain unconditionally convinced the 2020 election was stolen and have consequently turned against almost every American institution, including the military.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to recognize that former president No. 45 is still the most influential figure in the GOP and is also (as conservative writer Charles Cooke observes in NationalReview.com) “unmoored from the real world” and that his persistent and insistent declaration that “he’s the real president is deeply corrosive to our democracy.”

We can find some solace in believing the Republican Party suffers from idiotus, an almost incurable disease that causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep running. It’s only somewhat comforting because at the end of the day I’m left with the dilemma; how does one borderline burnout with questionable social skills go about causing over 500 nefarious men and women with predatory instincts, in Congress, to change their way of thinking?

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) always places his personal and party’s interest above the nation’s and has vowed, therefore, to block 100 percent of President Biden’s agenda. Passage then, of any bill before a divided Congress and nation that would preempt state legislatures from passing laws enabling them to overturn the will of the people, is simply undoable.

Hundreds of bills being considered in 45 (or more) states, masquerading as “voting integrity” bills, are no more and no less than the Republican Party’s underhanded, spineless and dishonorable attempt to suppress voters.

Former President Bill Clinton stated in Time on June 21: “Republicans have clearly decided to double-down on the Hatfields and McCoys. Now they want to get it where they can win if they lose both the Electoral College and the popular vote by having a Congress that won’t certify the electors.” Ari Berman echoed similar sentiments in the July/August issue of Mother Jones.

If you believe nothing else, believe this: that a GOP-controlled Congress could overturn election results to install Trump (or a Trump clone) is a very real possibility which would spell the end of American democracy.

I believe, as Albert Einstein believed, “the world is not dangerous because of those who do harm — it’s dangerous because of those who watch and do nothing.” I also believe we should want our lives to be a reminder that truth matters — even though we may not be here to see how history judges us.

We’re facing the decision that all men in all times must face, the eternal choice, to endure oppression or to resist.

David L. Snell Franklin

LETTERS

Why won’t GOP tax the wealthy?

To the Editor:

When you start having to pay higher taxes at the gas pump, pay extra for your electric

vehicle, or pay for services that used to be free, look no further than our dear United States senators, Richard Burr and Thom Tillis. Instead of taxing corporations and the rich more to pay for their proposed “bipartisan” infrastructure plan, they are instead choosing to increase the financial burden on working-class Americans by raising gas taxes implementing an electric vehicle mileage tax, and privatizing public assets. Not to mention that by leaving climate change out of the infrastructure plan, they are essentially wasting taxpayer money because the increasing natural disasters influenced by climate change will cause untold amounts of damage to our infrastructure, especially if it’s not made to be resilient to these types of disasters. On top of this action from our U.S. senators, our Republican state legislators’ new budget proposal also cuts taxes for corporations and only gives teachers a raise of 1.5 percent per year. Why is the Republican Party so averse to taxing the people who can afford it the most? Is it because they’re getting kickbacks from them? Or are they just hoping that they’ll be able to pass these types of bills under peoples’ noses and when people start having to pay higher prices for things and F LOOKING FOR OPINIONS: The Smoky Mountain News encourages readers to express their opinions through letters to the editor or guest columns. All viewpoints are welcome. Send to Scott McLeod at info@smokymountainnews.com., fax to 828.452.3585, or mail to PO Box 629, Waynesville, NC, 28786.