16 minute read
Hope and laughter from a patron saint
Dear Christine Simon,
Normally I write a book review in this space, and I intend to do so here in regard to your novel “The Patron Saint of Second Chances” (Atria Books, 2022, 304 pages). But as this is also a thank you note as well as a look at your book, I am breaking ranks with my usual template of review.
Right from the first chapter, your Signor Speranza, vacuum repairman and the unofficial mayor of Prometto, Italy with its population of 212, snagged my attention and had me grinning as I sat reading in the shade of my front porch. You begin with a young plumbing inspector examining the pipes in the Speranza family hotel, an inspection which will determine whether the town’s water system needs repair. Failure of this inspection leads to extensive and expensive work, or the cutting off of Prometto’s water supply, which will close down this village and scatter its inhabitants. After the plumber cuts into the wall of a hotel bathroom, we have this scene:
Jeff Minick Writer
It was the junior inspector’s turn to gasp as he shone his flashlight into the hole.
“Signore!” he cried. “What is this?”
Resuming his earlier sangfroid, which at this point was the only thing he had left, Signor Speranza glanced into the hole, crossed his arms, and sniffed.
“I think it’s Hubba Bubba.”
This patching of a leaky pipe with bubblegum made me burst into laughter because I myself once did the same thing. When I owned the Palmer House Bed and Breakfast in Waynesville, the dilapidated old building had a dozen or more leaks, and the plumber, who became a friend, needed three days before he could begin the job. So I set to work.
The first leak I repaired was at the intersection of four pipes in the basement, squirting out a stream of water like one of those garden statues where a boy pees without end into a fountain. I was no plumber at all, but necessity being the mother of invention, I dispatched my brother to the convenience store just up the street. He returned with several packs of Bazooka gum, we chewed, we pushed the sticky mess over the pinprick hole and then secured it with a clamp designed for automobile engines. No more leak. In fact, that leak never reappeared in the 20 years I owned the house.
The smile brought by your opening rarely left my face as I read the rest of your book, following Signor Speranza (I liked that his name means “Hope” in English) through his madcap scheme of making a movie to
raise the 70,000 euros needed to repair the town’s plumbing and so save Prometto, all the while concealing this impending disaster from his fellow townspeople. You introduce us to a platoon of these folks: the devout but no-nonsense priest Don Rocco, the bull-like and sometimes violent butcher Maestro with his horde of sons, the lovely and sweet Antonella, who wants a starring role in the film, and Senior Speranza’s assistant Smilzo, who has a major crush on Antonella and who writes the film’s script. Much like the unchanging world of English manners and mayhem created by P.G. Wodehouse in his books, “The Patron Saint of Second Chances” gives us an idealized backdrop against which all this hilarity takes place.
Particularly amusing, at least for me as a Catholic, was Signor Speranza’s Compendium, from which he often sought help as he appealed to the saints described in those pages as patrons of various causes. (The Church is occasionally amusing in these connections. In 258 A.D., for example, the Romans martyred Saint Lawrence by roasting him alive on a giant gridiron. At one point, so legend has it, he called out to his torturers “I’m done on this side. You can turn me over.” Today he is the patron saint of cooks, chefs, and comedians.) And particularly endearing was the way the making of the movie helped
Gemma, Speranza’s young daughter and a mother to the lively four-year-old
Carlotta, escape her deep sadness, fall in love, and repair her broken relationship with her father. Best of all, however, were the plot and the characters. You avoided those dreary “-isms” that infect some of our contemporary literature, the political and cultural debates of the day. Instead, you have given us a timeless story that celebrates laughter, zany humor, common sense, and the human heart. Even in your “Acknowledgements,” in which you salute everyone from your husband and four children to your mother and grandmother, you convey a sense of fun and humor. You include a recipe for pane pazzo, a footnote on the
Compendium (the real
“Comprehensive Dictionary of Patron
Saints” by Pablo Ricardo Quintana), a hat tip to the movies that influenced you in writing about Senor Speranza’s foray into film, and even a vision of
Prometto during the pandemic, where “I can see Signor Speranza’s consternation when his mask wilts his magnificent moustache.” You finish by writing of that image, “I am back there, and I am laughing. Grazie, signore.”
And grazie to you, Signora Simon. If nothing else, “The Patron Saint of Second Chances” has given readers some smiles and joy in being alive, gifts which these days are worth their weight, if not in gold, then at least in a basket of crocchette di patate.
All my best to you, and good luck with your future writing,
Jeff Minick
(Jeff Minick reviews books and has written four of his own: two novels, “Amanda Bell” and “Dust On Their Wings,” and two works of nonfiction, “Learning As I Go” and “Movies Make the Man.” minick0301@gmail.com.)
Are you a fan of Tolkien?
A monthly book club examining the works of J. R. R. Tolkien will be held at 3 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 15, at the Jackson County Public Library in Sylva.
This first meeting will include coming up with the structure of the club, the naming of the club, and a fun discussion of “The Fellowship of the Ring.” The group will meet in the Conference Room of the library, with the option to move outside, weather permitting.
All are welcome and registration is encouraged by either stopping by the Reference Desk of the library, calling at 828.586.2017 or emailing at jcpladults@fontanalib.org.
This event is co-sponsored by the Friends of the Jackson County Public Library. It is free and open to the public.
The Jackson County Public Library is a member of Fontana Regional Library (fontanalib.org).
MurderMystery NightSaturday, October 29th 5-7PM
Better than a movie because you're the star.
COME DRESSED FOR THE PART! Includes heavy hors d'oeuvres, sparkling cider. You might be the murderer of Barbara Paige Turner or figure out who committed the crime. Discounted shopping in the bookstore after the show. Call for more information. RESERVATIONS REQUIRED Tickets $30
non-refundable but are transferable
Purging the pigs
Pilot program aims to knock back feral swine populations
BY HOLLY KAYS OUTDOORS EDITOR
When Europeans first began exploring North America, they knew precious little about the land toward which they traveled — or what they’d find to eat once they arrived.
So, they added pigs to their roster of transAtlantic passengers, aiming to assure themselves of a delicious and reliable supply of meat on their journey through the New World. According to naturalist George Ellison, Christopher Columbus brought hogs to Cuba in 1493, and Hernando De Soto’s party was driving more than 300 swine by the time it reached the Great Smoky Mountains region in 1540.
Nearly 500 years later, the N.C. Department of Agriculture and Consumer Resources is launching a pilot program that aims to root these pigs’ descendants out of North Carolina. Through September 2023, residents of Haywood, Montgomery, Anson, Davie and Randolph counties can borrow high-tech corral traps designed to contain an entire family group of the invasive animals.
Feral swine cause soil erosion, which impacts water quality, and they’re vectors for at least 30 different diseases and nearly 40 types of parasites that can affect domestic pigs, other livestock, pets and even humans. They’re also incredibly destructive, capable of rooting up an entire field of crops.
“There’s just multiple angles by which they’re just bad news to have on the ground,” Owens said.
FROM NECESSITY TO NUISANCE
But that has not always been the official position of the Wildlife Commission, or the conventional wisdom among North Carolina residents.
De Soto and Columbus were not the first or only explorers to bring hogs to North America, and when European settlers arrived, they brought pigs of their own. The animals were typically allowed to free range on the land until it was time to round them up for slaughter — a low-cost, low-effort way for mountain families to keep meat on the table.
These pigs were not the same as the domestic stock farmers raise today, Owens said. Though still somewhat domesticated, they were a step closer to wild than modern pigs and didn’t reproduce quite as efficiently.
Those genetics got an extra dose of wildness in the early 1900s, when George Gordon Moore established a 1,600-acre game preserve on Hooper Bald in Graham County, stocking the property with buffalo, elk, mule deer, bears, turkeys, pheasant, sheep — and wild boar. Citing a 1959 Wildlife Resources Commission pamphlet by Perry Jones titled “The European Wild Boar in North Carolina,” Ellison wrote that, while most the animals succumbed to the pressures of an unfamiliar environment, the boars thrived. In fact, in the early 1920s a dog hunt on the boar herd, then estimated at 60-100 animals, resulted in only two dead boars but at least a dozen dead or maimed dogs.
“Some of the hunters were forced to take refuge in trees to escape the charging beasts,” Ellison wrote, quoting Jones. “Overly excited by the baying of dogs and shouts of hunters, the boar simply tore their way through the fence and escaped into the nearby mountains.”
Interbreeding with escaped domestic stock led to a population of hardy, elusive, intelligent animals thriving in scattered pockets throughout the state. For decades, official state policy ensured their success.
In the 1930s, when land managers began to realize that wildlife is not an unlimited resource, they implemented protections and restricted hunting seasons on a range of species — including feral swine. In 1979, the Wildlife Commission designated them a big game species, granting them an even higher level of protection.
But in 2011, the Wildlife Commission did “a complete 180,” said Owens, classifying feral swine as a non-game invasive species. Like coyotes, wild boars could now be hunted anywhere at any time. Growing scientific evidence of the boar’s negative impacts on environmental health and safety had led the Wildlife Commission to shift its management goal from protection to extermination.
“We do not want them on the landscape,” said Owens. “We want them gone.”
That’s easier said than done. The pigs, which hang out in family groups called “sounders,” are prolific reproducers. Sows can have as many as 12 piglets in one litter, though three to eight is more common, and offspring typically reach sexual maturity at six to 10 months.
“The more you remove them, they more they reproduce,” said Owens. “They thrive in adversity.”
If the experience of the hunters at Hoopers Bald is any indication, pigs are difficult to kill. They’re also extremely smart, Owens said. If a hunter kills one member of a family group, the surviving pigs will learn from that experience. They won’t be huntable in the future.
A large area of corn lies flat after a group of feral swine pass through.
USDA photo
USDA photo
EFFORTS TO ERADICATE
The pilot program aims to address the problem by ensuring that when a landowner attempts to remove a troublesome family group of pigs, there are no survivors.
The traps, which resemble a livestock corral, are large enough to contain an entire family group of pigs and feature a remote trigger system that allows the operator to monitor the trap through a smartphone and close the gate when the entire group is inside. Patience is one of the biggest challenges to successfully using the traps, Owens said.
“We’re probably going to have to work hard to make sure that that the people who receive these traps have the patience to understand that success is going to be getting all of them,” Owens said. “Not a couple of them. Not most of them. All of them. And that takes patience.” F
Feral swine are skittish and avoid people, but evidence like tracks and rooted-up ground remains behind.
Falyn Owens/NCWRC photo
Get the most out of leaf season on the Blue Ridge Parkway with a webinar featuring photographer J. Scott Graham at 11 a.m. Thursday, Oct. 6.
Graham, who recently released the book “Blue Ridge Parkway, a Magnificent Journey,” will share tips for finding and photographing fall color, discussing his experience exploring the Parkway over 33 autumns.
Hosted by the Blue Ridge Parkway Foundation, the 30-minute webinar is the latest installment of the Insider’s Report series highlighting the nonprofit’s projects and programs, ways to enjoy the Parkway, Parkway history and more. Free with registration required at brpfoundation.org/events. The Linn Cove Viaduct curves amid stunning fall color. J. Scott Graham photo
In North Carolina, it is illegal to release a live feral hog from a trap, meaning that trapped pigs must be euthanized — typically using a firearm — and then disposed of in a sanitary manner.
The traps cost about $10,000 apiece, meaning that without the loan program they would be out of reach to most landowners battling feral hog issues. The NCDACS, which is leading the effort in collaboration with a long list of partners, has
purchased 50 of the traps using money from the Feral Swine Eradication and Control Pilot Program, which was established by the 2018 U.S. Farm Bill. The bill allocated $75 million for pilot projects to help farmers and producers fight against feral swine damage.
“The point of the program is to figure out how we’re going to address it at a statewide level,” said Aaron Loucks, wildlife and livestock disease specialist for NCDACS. “That’s something that other states have been trying to also crack that code on.”
The traps had been available in Haywood County prior to the NCDACS program’s start in March 2021 through a program from the Haywood County Soil and Water Conservation District, Loucks said, so in Haywood the program is a continuation of that effort. The five counties were chosen based on the level of feral swine damage reported and risk of disease transmission from the animals.
“It’s not just pig farms. It’s also hunters,” Loucks said. “So if hunters are harvesting these animals to eat, and there’s a different zoonotic pathogen they could pick up, that’s a big problem.”
While feral swine have long been an issue in North Carolina, which reportedly had more pigs than any other colony in the New World, their range and impact has expanded in recent years. In 1982, only 19 states had documented feral swine populations. That number had risen to 28 by 2004 and now stands at 35, according to the U.S. Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service. The population is estimated at over 6 million “and is rapidly rising,” APHIS says, due to transport by humans, a lack of natural predators and the animal’s inherent adaptability. “At a national scale, this is basically an unignorable problem,” said Owens. The Farm Bill Funding aims to find innovative solutions to the feral swine issue that can translate to other communities across the country.
“As a country, we’ve gotten really, really hyper focused on states coming up with solutions that only work in their state,” Loucks said. “And since COVID, we’ve branched out a lot, and more states are communicating with more states at different levels, with the feds as well, to try to find solutions to more landscape-wide issues.”
The North Carolina program started in March 2021, with the initial phase focused on acquiring equipment and setting up the program. The equipment has been out for loan for some time now, and while Loucks said data on how many feral swine have been captured will not be available until the program’s conclusion, feedback from landowners has been positive.
“What we find out in North Carolina is going to serve as a model for the United States,” he said. “We’re looking at our obligations to other states around us as well — it’s a much bigger program than only Haywood. What we learn in Haywood is going to immediately be applied to other mountain states.”
Traps like these are now available for loan in five North Carolina counties, including Haywood.
Falyn Owens/NCWRC photo.
Conservation projects in Western North Carolina will receive $6.6 million of the $70.3 million in N.C. Land and Water Fund grant awards announced this fall.
In total, the grants will support 117 projects protecting 27,157 acres, of which nearly 21,000 will eventually open for public recreation. Funds were also given to 37 projects that will restore or enhance 36 miles of waterways and restore more than 8,000 acres of drained wetlands. Additional projects focus on stormwater management and conservation planning.
Awards given to projects in the seven western counties include: ■ $137,223 to Mainspring Conservation Trust for a land acquisition project at Mason Branch Wetland at Valley River in Cherokee County. ■ $230,541 to the N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission for a land acquisition project at Kelly Cove at Needmore Game Land in Macon County. ■ $209,078 to Mainspring Conservation Trust for a land acquisition project at Klatt Wetland at Little Tennessee River in Macon County. ■ $66,550 to the N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission for a land acquisition project at Simp Gap Access on Rines Creek in Graham County. ■ $184,620 to Mainspring Conservation Trust for a land acquisition project at Polecat Ridge on Bradley Creek in Macon County. ■ $236,511 to Mainspring Conservation Trust for a land acquisition project at Mull Creek in the Caney Fork Headwaters in Jackson County. ■ $259,099 to Mainspring Conservation Trust for a land acquisition project at High Knob in the Caney Fork headwaters. ■ $129,101 to Mainspring Conservation Trust for the King Meadows III land acquisition project at Squally Creek. ■ $4.7 million to Mainspring Conservation Trust for the Amazing Grace Complex land acquisition project at Big Ridge in Jackson County. ■ $154,000 to Mainspring Conservation Trust for a restoration project at Bartram Wetlands on the Little Tennessee River in Macon County. ■ $25,300 to the Amphibian and Reptile Conservancy for an eastern hellbender restoration project in Macon County. ■ $83,500 to MountainTrue for an ecological enhancement project at Island Park in Swain County. ■ $200,000 to Haywood Waterways Association for an upper Pigeon River flood mitigation planning project in Haywood County.
Since its creation in 1996 by the General Assembly, the North Carolina Land and Water Fund, formerly known as the Clean Water Management Trust Fund, has conserved well over one-half million acres and protected or restored 3,000 miles of streams and rivers.
