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How many calories does that burger have?

Men!s tennis seeks two more wins to add to their streak

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VOLUME 95, ISSUE 88

THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 SMUDAILYCAMPUS.COM

DALLAS, TEXAS

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SMU President R. Gerald Turner working at his desk in the Presidential Office.

A day in the life of President Turner By LAUREN COOKE Contributing Writer lcooke@smu.edu

He signs off on letters, his picture is easily recognizable to students and he keeps up the University’s fundraising. You see him and you hear about him. But do you really know what goes on in his day-to-day life? President Gerald R. Turner is an early riser, getting up at around 6 a.m. “I am a believer in breakfast,” he said. He and his wife Gail usually eat cereal together, while reading the morning newspaper. After the morning routine at home, he arrives at Perkins Administration building around 8 a.m. Turner said he considers his workday to be from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. His workweek typically ranges Monday through Saturday. “Fall is seven days a week,” he said. Turner also mentioned that October and November are extremely busy months, but March and April are worse. January and July happen to be

the most relaxed months as far as his schedule is concerned. On average, Turner receives 80-120 e-mails per day. However, there are “a quarter that I don’t have to answer,” he said. As far as meetings are concerned, nine is just a typical amount for the number of staff gatherings Turner has to attend. These range from thirty minutes to an hour. “I have to stay on schedule. It’s not fair to the person who’s next. Every one of them is important,” he said. Turner meets with individuals to discuss fundraising for two to three hours a week. Every Monday, the President’s Executive Council meets with each vice president, the treasurer and the athletic department for an hour-and-a-half. Overall, there are 12 people who report to the president directly. “We really depend on each other,” he said of his team. “It’s important that they work well together. We work hard on that.” His core team ensures that affairs

See TURNER on Page 7

COMPETITION

SPENCER EGGERS/The Daily Campus

The SMU competition took place at the Real Food on Campus cafeteria on campus Wednesday evening and featured students from several local culinary schools in the metroplex area.

Umphrey Lee when it sizzles By PRAVEEN SATHIANATHAN

Gantt said each team had a budget of $2,000 and were instructed to create two ounce items that would feed 900 people. She said the day of the event teams learned they had to use a special ingredient, which was blood orange in at least one menu item. She said as people entered the dining facility they were given three tickets, one for best theme carried out, best presentation and best use of special ingredient. Each person voted on which school did the best in each category and then the ballots were counted. Each winner of the competition gets a set of chef knives that are engraved with the Iron Chef logo on it and the event that they won in. Gantt said the idea for the event had been tossed around, but it wasn’t until December that planning started to take fruition. She said the event was originally thought of to be a kick-off to Spring Break, but since some of the schools had different Spring Breaks things had to be changed. “It was a great big team effort to planning this event,” she said.

Managing Editor psathianat@smu.edu

Pans were sizzling, and students were lining up to taste three distinct flavors. The SMU Iron Chef took place from 5 to 8 p.m. March 31 in the Real Food on Campus Dining Hall at Umphrey Lee. Kami Gantt, marketing program manager for SMU Dining Services, said three teams representing Dallas-area schools were each tasked to create a sixmenu meal representing three food categories. She said each school was paired with an SMU culinary liaison who provided them with guidance. The schools participating in the competition were Collin County Community College, which made Asian dishes, El Centro Community College, which made Middle Eastern dishes and The International Culinary Schools at The Art Institute of Dallas made Italian dishes.

SPENCER EGGERS/The Daily Campus

SMU sophomore Charlotte Anderson sampling foods from the SMU Iron Chef competition at RFOC Wednesday night.

She said participants were able to come in Tuesday at 3 p.m. and do the preparation work and then they came in yesterday at 10 a.m. to start cooking the dishes. Michele Brown, pastry chef professor at CCCC said each student chosen had a “distinct strength.” “The entire planning of the menu and the design of the meal was entirely student driven. Myself and professor Cheryl Lewis acted as their sous chefs,” she said. Freshman dance major Katy Samford, said the event was a good idea.

COMMUNITY EVENT

PANEL

Eggstravaganza takes over Main Quad Photo Courtesy of Aly Wilson

By JORDAN RUTLEDGE

Pom Squad enjoys a day at the beach in Hawai’i.

Pom Squad prepares to defend their title By KRISTIN MITCHELL Contributing Writer knmitchell@smu.edu

The SMU Pom Squad, defending National Dance Alliance champions, practiced its current nationals routine in front of fans and competitors last Sunday in preparation to uphold the title this April in Daytona, Fla. The team participated in the annual Pom Squad and Cheer Nationals Showoffs, hosted by the SMU Spirit Squad, in Moody Coliseum in order to gain experience performing in front of an audience. “It’s really important for the girls to feel what it’s like dancing in front of a crowd,” team captain Melissa McDowell said. “It really helps to get

WEATHER TODAY High 82, Low 63 TOMORROW High 73, Low 52

rid of the nerves.” The pressure to meet expectations created by last year’s accomplishments is high for the team as it faces a week of tough competition. “Our division gets tougher each year with more and more talented teams,” coach Lori Todd said. “Everyone is coming to take that title away from us.” In addition to the anxiety of maintaining their top Division 1A position, Todd has experienced the daunting task of balancing the squad and the newest addition to her family. “There was a huge challenge this

See POM on Page 7 INSIDE News .......................................... 1,4,7 Health and Fitness ............................. 2 Sports ............................................... 3 Entertainment ................................... 4 Opinion ............................................ 6

Contributing Writer jrutledge@smu.edu

Nothing says spring for children like an Easter egg hunt. Children took in the spring weather as they searched the lawn in front of Dallas Hall for colorful eggs on Wednesday afternoon. This year is the second egg hunt hosted at SMU. Last year, Omega Psi Phi fraternity organized the event, while this year they partnered with Interfraternity Council, making the event even bigger. Organization of the event began on Tuesday night at the Hughes-Trigg Student Center. Representatives from IFC, Multicultural Greek Council, National Panhellenic Council and other Panhellenic councils gathered to stuff 3,000 Easter eggs that were later hidden on Dallas Hall’s lawn. Junior and vice president of new member education and community service for IFC Jake Torres said, “It was amazing to see all of the different organizations working on a single project that will benefit such a diverse community.”

“It brought everyone together,” she said. “The only thing I would suggest is to serve larger portions or serving on one plate, otherwise I thought everything was great.” “Personally I like the Italian, I’m not very adventurous. Italian is a neutral mean that everyone is used to,” she said. Before the night was over each school had won an award. The award for best presentation was awarded to CCCC, best use of special ingredients was given to El Centro and the best theme was given to the Art Institute.

The organizations invited this year were Dallas Community Lighthouse and Trinity River Mission. They both offer after-school programming to low-income students in South Dallas. “The students that are coming for this Easter egg hunt, come from areas that don’t often have the resources to host an event such as this,” Torres said. “Also, this is exposing these students to the SMU campus that will hopefully increase their interest in college.” Both Dallas Community Lighthouse and Trinity River Mission focus on the importance of education to at-risk youth. Since Omega Psi Phi partnered with IFC this year, more SMU students were involved so more children were invited. Individuals from these organizations came at 4:30 p.m. yesterday with garbage bags filled with plastic Easter eggs. Dallas Hall’s lawn was covered with spots of pink, yellow, orange, green and blue. Easter eggs could be found in flowerbeds, bushes by Umphrey Lee, under benches and scattered

Students get advice on sports careers By ALEJANDRA AGUIRRE Contributing Writer alejandraa@smu.edu

Students filled the Hughes-Trigg Center last night to hear a discussion about careers in sports. The event was sponsored by the Hegi Family Career Development Center, which set up a panel of four individuals who presently work in several areas of the sports industry. The panel opened up with advice to seniors about impending graduation. If you want to enter the sports industry, all the panelists agreed that having experience and networking is the answer to getting your foot in the door. “If you’re a junior or senior and you’ve just contacted me, it’s too late,” Whitney Brandon, Dallas Cowboys’ employee, said. A typical day for a person in the sports industry is never the same. Regardless of whether they’re in

See EGGS on Page 4

See SPORTS on Page 7

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Health & Fitness

• Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Daily Campus

NUTRITION

TRIATHLON

Health care bill serves up new standard for restaurants By HALLE ORGAN and MARISSA O’CONNOR Health & Fitness Editors horgan@smu.edu, moconnor@smu.edu

President Obama’s health care legislation will affect our tax dollars and physical, but we may not have heard much about how it will affect our health, nutrition wise. Here is some information about Obama’s bill, and how it may change the way you think before you eat. Tucked away in the 2,500-page health care legislation signed by President Obama is a requirement for all chain restaurants with 20 or more locations to post calorie information on their menus, menu boards and drive-thrus. The idea behind the new law is for customers to realize how many calories they are about to consume, before they place their orders. Currently, most restaurants offer nutritional information but it is in a hallway, posted on their Web site or in a small pamphlet behind the counter. Some restaurants, such as Panera Bread, have already started posting their nutrition for customers. On March 24 calorie counts were placed on all menu boards across the nation at the company’s 585

Campus Events April 1-11

Salsa Night

8 p.m. Hughes-Trigg Commons. Free Salsa lessons from Monica Flores.

New regulations mean chain restaurants must post calorie information.

locations. “I think it’s absolutely great,” Brian Stewart, manager of Panera on Park Lane, said. “I think from a trust standpoint a lot of guests are going to be very receptive to the fact that as restaurants we’re becoming more transparent about our nutritional values: nobody’s hiding anything anymore.

Midnight Cosmic Climbing

11 p.m. Dedman Climbing Center. Lights, Food and Music. Take a break from RELAY and go climbing. Free.

Join Program Council

Program Council Office Applications can be picked up outside the Program Council door in SAMSA (3rd floor, Hughes-Trigg), and are due April 9th

“We’re not trying to be deceptively healthy. If it’s not healthy up there you’re going to know it,” he said. The calorie postings were tested across the nation in different markets before Panera decided to roll out the menu boards company-wide. “It’s been really well-received,” Stewart said. “There’s been a lot of comments from customers—they kind of second-guess themselves now on some things that they thought were a little healthier that actually aren’t. “But some of the guests don’t even care they’re just like ‘OK, yeah that Italian Combo Sandwich has over a thousand calories to it, but I like it anyway and I’m going to stay loyal to it.’ They appreciate the fact that we’re upfront and honest about it but at the same time they’re not shying away from it,” Stewart said. Thus, it is not clear whether this law will achieve its goal for a healthier America and reduce the obesity rate. In 2009, two-thirds of American adults were either obese or overweight, according to healthyamericans.org. “I honestly don’t think it will make America the least bit healthier,” Tom Gwalthey, general manager of Wendy’s on Greenville Avenue,

Invisible Children Legacy Tour

5 p.m., McCord Auditorium. Come hear the story of Uganda’s Invisible Children and their struggle for survival amidst the longest-running war in Africa and how you can help.

Want us to feature your event? Fill out the calendar form available in the Student Media Comapny office, Hughes-Trigg suite 314.

said. “In my twenty years as General Manager not one person has asked about calories.” A regular customer at Wendy’s, Glenn Ezell said the new law will not make any difference to him. After years of ordering the same crispy chicken sandwich three to four days a week, he isn’t going to stop ordering it. “I don’t think you’re going to change unhealthy lifestyles, and for the restaurant business I would expect that this time next year everything will be the same,” Ezell said. “Fifty years ago you could have because there wasn’t a fast food place on every corner, but now there is and we’re talking about two or three generations of people who grew up eating this way.” Over 200,000 chain restaurants across the country will be affected by this new legislation, creating a single national standard rather than the current local and state laws, which are in place in some areas such as New York City, Seattle and California. The FDA will have one year to administer new rules, but it could take up to two years before you see calorie listings on all menus.

Students prep for upcoming race By KRISTY WEBSTER Contributing Writer kwebster@smu.edu

The Caveman Triathlon is just 24 days away. As the clock is counting down, the stopwatch measuring Helen Huber’s training times is still counting up. But not quite as high as it had been. Huber, a first-year tri-athlete in David Bertrand’s wellness class, represents her fellow tri-athletes well. The group’s time has dropped, their physical fitness has improved and their excitement for the big day is mounting. Regarding her personal progress, Huber commented that she has experienced some ups and downs. A lazy Spring Break hindered her momentum, and a lack of motivation slowed her down when she returned to training. Huber kept her difficulties secret from her bicycling-enthusiast mother. She said with certainty her “mom would freak out” if the she knew the truth. Instead, when her mom calls every day after practice, Huber focuses on the positives. Last week, the group biked 14 miles together on Kady Trail. Huber cruised past training-mates,

making it appear easy. “Biking is still pretty easy for me,” Huber said, “The only thing that really bothers me is the pain from sitting on the bike seat.” Her padded bike shorts only help so much. They certainly don’t do much to break a fall. Huber experienced that first hand. Racers sometimes sacrifice balance for speed, and clip-in biking shoes make recovering balance difficult. Huber was concerned about practicing clip-ins with the class because traveling and stopping in a group creates safety concerns. “People don’t know what they’re doing. I mean, I don’t even know,” she said. On an off-day, Huber and a workout buddy biked on their own. The absence of witnesses gave her courage to practice with her clip-ins. But as she turned onto Airline Road her wheels slipped out from under her. “I was falling in slow motion,” she said. She stood unscratched and peddled away. It’s bumps in the road, like Huber’s fall, that make the training memories. She said the interval bike workout from last week was fun, but its memory will

See TRIATHLON on Page 4

Police Reports MARCH 10 5:18 a.m., Martin Hall/5912 Hillcrest Avenue: An officer responded to a fire alarm where the stove was left on in the room. There was no visible signs of fire, only smoke poured out of the room. Horns and strobes were not activated, only the alarm in the room was sounding. UP Fire Department responded also and used fans to clear the smoke in the building. Closed.

MARCH 10 8:41 a.m., Owens Art Center/6101 Bishop Blvd.: A staff member reported a projector was stolen from this location. Open. 8:16 p.m., Fondren Library/6414 Hyer Lane: The Fondren Library Security Guard observed a non-affiliated individual viewing pornography on a library computer. The subject was arrested and booked into the Dallas County Jail for warrants out of Collin County and charged for the offenses listed above. He was also issued a criminal trespass warning. Closed.

MARCH 11 2:34 p.m., SMU Bookstore/Barnes & Noble/3060 Mockingbird: A staff member reported a theft from this location. Open. 7:38 p.m., Fondren Library/6414 Hyer Lane: A student will be referred to the Student Conduct Officer for viewing pornography on a library computer. Closed.

Sports

The Daily Campus

Thursday, April 1, 2010 •

MEN’S TENNIS

WOMEN’S TENNIS

Doubleheader for SMU By STEPHEN LU Sports Editor sjlu@smu.edu

The No. 28 women’s tennis team (19-3) will play their final five matches of the season at home in the Turpin Tennis Center. They will start with a doubleheader on Friday, April 2 against Conference USA rival University of Texas at El Paso (8-10) and Prairie View A&M. Following their double header, the Mustangs will have a day of rest before facing another C-USA rival, the University of Central Florida, on Sunday, April 4. Of their final five matches, three are against C-USA schools. SMU will also play a match against Rice next weekend. Despite a tough loss to Baylor last Thursday, the Mustangs have rebounded well, winning their last two matches on the road against Fresno State and Saint

Mary’s. Against Fresno State, the only point the Mustangs gave up was No. 1 singles, when No. 34 Marta Lesniak just lost her second match of the year to Renata Kucerkova. Overall, Lesniak is 18-2 on the season in singles, while fellow sophomore Aleksandra Malyarchikova is not far behind at 16-2. Senior Pavi Francis has been a consistent player on the court for SMU and is 13-4 in singles. The Mustangs have also had a lot of help from their freshmen this year. Edyta Cieplucha has been rolling this whole season, racking up a 14-1 record in singles. Shahzoda Hatamova is right there with her at 15-3. And Katerina Vankova, who has played at No. 2 and No. 3 singles, is 6-2 in the season. SMU is gearing up for the C-USA championships, which will start April 22 in Tulsa. The Mustangs are the defending champions after defeating University of Tulsa last year in the championships.

MEN’S GOLF Photo courtesy of SMU Athletics

Junior Artem Baradach, No. 57 in the nation, will face a tough challenge against Notre Dame’s Casey Watt, who is ranked No. 27 in the nation.

Mustangs look to KO Notre Dame and DePaul SMU will put its 3-match winning streak on the line By STEPHEN LU Sports Editor sjlu@smu.edu

The No. 73 SMU men’s tennis team (10-9) is on a three-match winning streak and they will look to add two more victories this weekend when they host No. 38 University of Notre Dame (9-7) and DePaul University (6-14) this Saturday and Sunday, respectively. The Mustangs have been on fire lately, and no one more so than junior Darren Walsh. Walsh has won six straight singles matches and is part of the No. 29 doubles team in the nation, along with fellow junior Adham elEffendi.

Junior Artem Baradach, No. 57 in the nation, will also look to continue his winning ways. Baradach faced a scare in the last match against Lamar University when he dropped the first set of his match with little resistance. However, he recovered quickly and rallied back for the victory 1-6, 6-1, 6-4. “It was a hard fought match,” head coach Carl Neufeld said to smumustangs.com last week. “I’m really excited by our doubles play and we were able to prevail in the tough singles matches.” The Mustangs face a formidable opponent in the Fighting Irish. Their top player is Casey Watt, who is ranked No. 27 in the nation. SMU

must also contend with No. 86 Daniel Stahl. And finally, their top doubles team, composed of Stephen Havens and Watts is ranked No. 61 in the nation. The DePaul matchup should be a little easier for SMU. The Blue Demons have no ranked singles players or doubles teams. In their last match, they were swept, 7-0, by No. 75 University of Central Florida. Following these two matches, the Mustangs will have four more before the end of the regular season. All of SMU’s matches from here on out will be at home in the Turpin Tennis Center until they reach the Conference USA championships, which start April 23.

Kraft to lead Mustangs into the Morris Williams Intercollegiate over the weekend By BRITTANY LEVINE Associate Sports Editor blevine@smu.edu

The SMU men’s golf team will head to Austin, Texas for the 44th annual Morris Williams Intercollegiate on Monday and Tuesday. Last year, the Mustangs finished eighth out of 18 teams at the competition. As a team they carded a final-round 309 at the par-71, 7,412yard University of Texas Golf Club. Current junior Kelly Kraft tied for ninth place, shooting 9-over 222.

Current sophomore Max Buckley edged out teammate James Kwon by only one shot. Buckley tied for 29th, while Kwon tied for 32nd. SMU is coming off an impressive showing at the National Invitational Tournament at Omni Tucson National. The team came in third place out of 14 teams at the par-72, 7,200-yard course. Their impressive tournament-low 278 in the final round proved to be the difference maker. They finished behind No. 22 Texas Christian University and No. 7 Texas. Kraft, Kwon and sophomore Matt

Schovee, all broke 70 in the second day of play. Kraft shot 68 while Schovee and Kwon each shot 69. Senior Draegen Majors followed close behind with an even-par 72. Three Mustangs played in the UTD Spring Classic last Tuesday. Freshman Brian Fragakis took first place in the tournament. Juniors Marc Sambol and Aaron Stewart both finished in the top20. Last week, Kraft was named Conference USA Golfer of the Week. It is the sixth time he has received the honor.

EQUESTRIAN

Mustangs bound for the championships By STEPHEN LU Sports Editor sjlu@smu.edu

The SMU equestrian team has been chosen to participate in the Varsity Equestrian National Championships next month. The team received the No. 11 seed and will face Oklahoma State in

the first round. The match will take place April 15 at the Heart of Texas Fair and Rodeo Complex in Waco, Texas. It will be a rematch of last year, when the Mustangs were also the No. 11 seed and raced Oklahoma State in the first round. In that match, SMU

fell to the Cowboys, 7-3. This will be SMU’s sixth appearance at the national championship in school history. By earning the No. 11 seed, the 2010 Mustangs have tied for the best seeding in school history, along with the 2006 and 2009 squads.

News

• Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Daily Campus

EASTER: Hundreds hunt for colored eggs CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

across the grass. Excited screams could be heard from Clements where nearly 300 children anxiously waited for the hunt to begin. Every child received a brightly-colored bucket for his or her Easter egg. Volunteers led the children to sit around Dallas Hall’s lawn before the countdown that would set them free to gather the eggs began. Music played and drinks were provided at the event on the sunny, but windy day. This was an opportunity for children in South and West Dallas to enjoy a carefree spring afternoon on SMU’s campus. Giving back to the community is very important to the organizations involved in the event, according to Torres.

“

The students that are coming for this Easter egg hunt, come from areas that don’t often have the resources to host an event such as this. Jake Torres Junior

”

“Omega Psi Phi and each of the IFC fraternities are value-based organizations,” Torres said. “Giving back to our community gives our members the opportunity to connect with groups from outside of SMU and is a huge part of the fraternity experience.”

MICHAEL DOOLEY/The Daily Campus

Students from the Dallas Community Lighthouse and Trinity River Mission afterschool organizations participating in the IFC Easter egg hunt Wednesday on the Dallas Hall lawn.

MICHAEL DOOLEY/The Daily Campus

TRIATHLON: Class gears up for race CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2

fade. But fun times with her sorority sister and fellow tri-athlete will be remembered. Sydney Howe, also a first-year and Huber’s acquaintance before class began, wanted to quit the triathlon class after the first week. “And I wouldn’t let her,” Huber chimed in.

Howe benefited from toughing it out. She and Huber have grown closer and motivate each other. Howe recognized and identified with Huber’s fitness improvements. For example, both tri-athletes shared a concern for the swimming portion of the race. Now they are confident they will

sail through it with ease. Huber’s worries from a month ago that she would “just drown or something” have disappeared. She scoffs at the distance now. With fears squelched and physical fitness achieved, Huber, Howe and their training mates are becoming excited for race day.

Entertainment

The Daily Campus

Thursday, April 1, 2010 •

FILM

New documentary exposes the power of advertisement companies over society

Photo Courtosy of thedocumentaryblog.com

A scene from “Art & Copy” with advertisement guru Cliff Freeman in his office. Freeman coined the phrase, “Where’s the beef?” for Wendy’s. By LISA COLLINS A&E Editor lccollins@smu.edu

Sticking up for the little guy, rebellion, art, consumerism and a $544 billion industry. Two opposing sides of the advertising business clash every day inside the agencies, but are rarely exposed to the mass of consumers who are subjected to thousands of ads each day. Doug Pray’s documentary, “Art & Copy,” profiles the creative geniuses behind the ads that shaped our culture, changed our minds and persuaded us to buy.

They are major forces behind our capitalist society that have launched multi-million dollar brands like Apple, Nike and MTV to become what they are today. However, they view themselves as rebels, underdogs and misunderstood artists. They strive to do something more with their work than just sell. A difficult task, when that is the main objective of their jobs. A common thread among the creatives in the film is their acknowledgment of a special sixth sense among those in the industry—the apparent ability to know what people

want before they know it themselves. “Some people play piano or sing. I was born, as a number of people are in advertising, with a gift for sensing what will turn you on,” Mary Wells, the first woman to own and run an ad agency, said. Phyllis K. Robinson, the only other woman advertiser profiled in the film (a good representative of the small number of female advertising leaders in the industry today) is credited with the invention of the “me” generation with her Clairol campaign, “It let’s me be me.” In response, she said, “The ‘me’ generation was there and I pointed it

out to you.” The other commonality is the need to elevate advertising and even society to higher standards. “We are more passionate about what our clients can be and should be than they are. Why don’t you aspire to loving dogs rather than just feeding dogs?” Lee Clow, TBWA/Chiat/Day’s chairman and chief creative officer, no doubt referring to his award-winning campaign for Pedigree said. However, at times the deeper meaning comes from the public’s interpretation of the ad, not the intentional message of the creative director. The most shocking evidence of this is the origins of Nike’s

inspirational ‘Just Do It’ slogan. Dan Wieden of Wieden + Kennedy admits that the idea came from a murderer’s last words before facing the firing squad at his execution: “Let’s do it.” A far cry from what you would expect for the three words that motivated people to push themselves, not only in athletics, but also in their everyday lives. The creative nostalgic monologues are intersected with staggering statistics like these: the average city-dweller is exposed to 5,000 advertising messages a day, the average household watches more than eight hours of television per day and 65-percent of people say they are constantly bombarded with

advertising. Pray doesn’t discuss the ethical implications of these statistics, he merely uses them to convey the magnitude of the reach that these messages have. The film focused on the people behind the iconic ads that ushered in the creative revolution—the shift from literal advertising to more conceptual and brand-minded advertising. However, Pray never touches on the creative advertising world’s more contemporary movers and shakers who are carrying on the legacy, like Crispin Porter + Bogusky’s Alex Bogusky, that would have added more insight to today’s creative culture. The Dallas screening of the film, put on by the Dallas Ad League, was probably preaching to the choir. Dallas is home to a large number of advertising professionals, creative people and worshippers of the legends profiled in the film like George Lois and Hal Riney. The entire audience applauded after the clip of the 1984 Apple commercial that launched the new Mac. Although it holds a top spot on AdAge’s list of “Best Ad Campaigns” and is considered to be the best ad ever made, it is mostly known among industry insiders, as it only ran once during the Super Bowl in 1984. Funded by the One Club, a nonprofit organization whose purpose is to “promote excellence in advertising and design in all its forms,” the film comes off a little bit as a documentary made by advertisers and for advertisers. However, the average consumer would benefit from viewing the film and seeing the minds behind the ideas they internalize. Although there is an overtone of hypocrisy, the passion that these advertisers have for their jobs is inspiring and their desire to elevate advertising to the same level as art and use it to change the world is admirable.

Opinion

• Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Daily Campus

Lessons from a suicide

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COMMENTARY

Text message woes Going without in the digital age STAFF COLUMNIST

ell, it’s finally happened. After more than four years of merely talking on the same old cell phone, I have finally obtained a new one, and after all this time, I now have texting enabled. After so many years of people repeatedly trying to send me texts and refusing to remember that I could not receive text messages, I can now enter a bigger world. Trey Treviño It’s unfortunate to say, but I believe it to be true: not having texting all this time probably stunted my socializing capabilities. Since everyone texts nowadays, those who can text back and forth are more likely to become closer. If someone cannot text, then she will grow more and more distant from others since she is physically unable to participate in the bonding process. Don’t get me wrong, I have tried to let people know my conundrum, to inform them politely that I cannot text or receive texts from others. But far too often, in a world where everyone and their mother texts up a storm at all times, it is really easy to forget that one person amidst all those masses of texters is denied that ability, and so people would send me texts anyway. Then, when I didn’t respond, they either got offended or lost interest in my friendship and moved on—which I acknowledge doesn’t make them all that great of friends in the first place, but I’d rather they decided to let me go as a friend for more tangible reasons, like stealing their girlfriend or totaling their car or something. Even worse was the period for the last few weeks when I didn’t have any cell phone (after over four years, it finally broke) and so, besides talking to me in person, the only ways to get in touch with me were e-mail, Facebook and my dorm room phone. Now that was hell. It was hard enough to let people know that my phone number had changed, but to give them a number that I might not always be present to answer? With no means of letting me know I missed a call? I mean, a lot of people don’t even leave messages! They just keep calling back or give up. It was very difficult to get in touch with anybody. I felt like I was in the Stone Age. I just kept thinking that before the advent of cell phones, it couldn’t possibly have been this hard for people. And I don’t believe it was, for the simple reason that because there were no cell phones, people were willing to work together and coordinate. They would talk on the phone—or write letters—beforehand, and agree to meet at suchand-such a time. In my recent predicament, on the other hand, no one was willing to work with me, which made it impossible for me to do anything with other people. It’s a bit of a shame, really, but there you go. I do fear, to an extent, that I will become the very thing I hate: one of those people who is constantly hunched over his phone, blasting away at the keyboard, even texting during conversations with real, physical persons occupying the same space. But having been on the receiving side of that for so long, I’m hoping I can catch myself and avoid it. Heck, it’s possible I hated those people only because, deep down, I was jealous I couldn’t do it myself. Trey Treviño is a sophomore CTV major. He can be reached for comment at ttrevino@smu.edu.

Elena Harding

Celebrate Easter’s true meaning Chocolate bunnies and synthetic grass miss holiday’s true message

COLUMNIST

unday morning means one thing for Americans: the Easter bunny is going to bring huge amounts of chocolate, candy, plastic eggs, marshmallow Peeps and neon green synthetic grass enclosed in a pastel colored woven basket. Logan Masters Hallelujah, Christ has risen! I first understood the suffering of Jesus the second I was forced to wear white nylon itchy tights and a toile skirted formal dress and was subjected to three minutes of continuous inhalation of aerosol hairspray at the tender age of four. The sheer torture then became clearer when I spent three hours at a Sunday morning service cringing at the painful details of the crucifixion only to return home to orange flavored Jell-O eggs. And worst of all, I truly believed rabbits bore eggs. Obviously, Easter was not my holiday. As I’ve grown up, I’ve only learned to hate Easter more. Eggs at Kroger have jumped 50 cents in price. My lack of artistic ability is highlighted when I can’t decorate these overpriced eggs. My domestic abilities are judged for my incapacity to cook said hard-boiled eggs. And worst of all, we live in a culture where celebrating Easter means consuming goods. This coming weekend marks the single most important celebration for Christians, but our culture denies its sacred meaning. Our secular society has done an excellent job masking Easter’s true meaning with chocolate bunnies, fancy dresses and egg shaped paraphernalia. When we no longer know what we are celebrating, we revert back to our default mode in hopes of giving the holiday some form of

contemporary meaning: consumption. Living in the secular world of Western civilization, no one wants to talk about the biblical and, yes, historic understanding of Easter. But I’ve got news for you: the right to religious freedom does not mean the absence of religion. Easter is a holiday that serves as a remembrance for the work done on the cross. Do me a favor and try to wrap your secular mind around these facts: A man named Jesus lived. He performed miracles. People couldn’t explain them then, and they can’t explain them now. He was arrested. He was beaten, ashamed, broken, hung on a cross by the help of three nails and pierced by a spear through the heart. His body was then taken and placed in a tomb that was guarded by Roman officials. Nearly three days later this man was seen walking seven miles away from the tomb in a town called Ephesus. Shortly after, he disappeared. There is no record of where he went or how or if he died, and his body has never been found. Hate it or love it, those are historical facts. Watch a secular Discovery Channel documentary, read a history book, check out Wikipedia, ask your history or religious studies professor about the life of this man. Do whatever you want, but I guarantee you, the results will be the same. He lived, he died, he was seen alive again and he was never found dead. So this Easter, forget the baskets, the bunny and the bogus secular message. I beg you to do a little research. How are you going to reconcile with these historical facts? Further, what do these facts mean for you? Logan Masters is a junior sociology major. She can be reached for comment at lmasters@smu.edu.

Student responses to “$93 million and counting”

“While I am a huge supporter of SMU athletics and agree with Mr. Orisni’s state that the athletic program is life a ‘front porch’ I am concerned by the high deflect numbers, especially when considering the amount of sacrifices students and their families must make during these difficult economic times in order to obtain an SMU education. I am also concerned by the fact that only 59 dollars of the 1,900 plus dollars per student paid annually to student fees goes to the Student Senate. We have had to pull back funding to many qualified organizations that represent SMU on a community, national and international level. Perhaps some of the fees going to the athletic department and its highly expensive advertising campaigns could be given to student organizations that more than deserve them. -Patrick Kobler, Student Body President

What good is freedom of speech if you’re not going to use it? Would you like to see your opinion published in The Daily Campus? Is there something happening on campus or in the world you really want to say something about? Then The Daily Campus is looking for you! E-mail your columns and letters to dcoped@ smudailycampus.com or to the commentary editor. Letters should not exceed 200 words in length and columns should be 500-700 words.

Submissions must be in either text format (.txt) or rich text format (.rtf). For verification, letters and columns must include the author’s name, signature, major or department, e-mail address and telephone number. The Daily Campus will not print anonymous letters. A photograph will be required to publish columns. The editor reserves the right to edit for length, spelling, grammar and style.

To the extent that the school is using students’ money, I believe we have a right to know how funds coming from students are put to use. It is important to be sure everyone is open, transparent and communicating about finances - especially during our current

Transparency between college athletic departments and it students climate of rising tuition, fees and a is an absolute necessity to smoothing over the debate on the amount of struggling economy. tuition funds that are being used in the program. My opinion, however, -Jack Benage, Candidate for President is that while the expenses and deficit are increasing, they are doing so to strengthen the University and so far it has been successful as we went to our first bowl game in 25 years. I think this deficit shows a huge lack -Allison Reyes, Student Body Vice President of priorities on the part of the SMU administration. I thought I went to a I doubt any other department in the university would be allowed to school that was supplemented by an go that deep into debt. Obama should bail them out. athletics program, not the other way -Alex Morgan, freshman political science major around. With tuition increases every I think that if every department on campus has been required to cut year on top of the costs of an already back expenses because of the economy, the football department should expensive school, this article made me too. Maybe the football department should have thought twice about want to know exactly where my money paying for transportation to Hawaii for players, cheerleaders, and the band. is going. Of course that would require They could have saved a lot of money. more transparency which this school -Haley Gatewood, Sophomore Athletic departments are not money makers unless you are at a big does seem ready to embrace. school like the University of Texas. Where they do help is keeping alumni -Alex Ehmke, candidate for vice interested in the school, making them more likely to donate, as well as raising awareness that the school exists, making students’ degrees more president valuable. Nathan Vance, senior real estate finance major. It was a substantial sum of money, This is ridiculous. They should limit how much of our tuition is given to the football team so they don’t have to raise student tuition and cut student funds at the same time. I feel like students who don’t play football are getting ripped off. I’m glad we offer scholarships to football players, but that shouldn’t be at the expense of the rest of the student body. Ben Nguyen, sophomore finance major

SUBMISSION POLICY

What do the SBO candidates think?

If President Turner is calling for transparency of the athletic budget then I wonder how does the athletic department continue to deny the information to the SMU student leaders. It seems that the athletic department has more influence and power on campus than even President Turner. I know many parents would not feel comfortable giving their money to a University who cannot even manage their athletic budget. -Jonathan Machemehl, freshman political science major

but I am a big fan of SMU athletics and I’m glad that we are spending the money. All in all, it’s a lot of money but I think its essential and needed part of the university. It helps balance us out.

here’s very little good that can come from suicide, but there’s plenty that we, as a country can learn. If you’ve ever been teased or berated, you understand the power of human words, the way that Lauren Smart they can affect you even if you ignore them. And if you’ve ever been 15 and at a new school, you can begin to imagine what Phoebe Prince went through this past year. After three months of bullying, Phoebe killed herself last January. Now, nine of her classmates have been charged in her death. The sheer volume of charges being leveled against those nine teenagers should be enough to make you stop and think about what sort of culture we live in that raises children to lash out in this way. Charges from statutory rape to stalking are being laid against students, some of whom are 18 and will be tried as adults. It may be difficult to understand the lack of compassion in Phoebe’s fellow students, but the greater travesty is the adults who knew that she was being severely bullied and did nothing. It seems to me to be an indictment of our society that mollycoddles children academically but then throws them out into the social world with absolutely no care. If just one of Phoebe’s teachers had stood up for her and reprimanded the bullies, who knows if there would have been a different outcome. I hope that teachers across America will take note of this story and realize that they are authority figures in their students’ lives. The most effective lesson they can teach is to be compassionate. They must be active in the way people treat one another. As for college students? I pray to God that we realize how much our words and actions affect one another before it’s too late. Lauren Smart is a junior creative writing and journalism double major. She can be reached for comment at lsmart@smu.edu

Letter to the editor

e appreciate the fact that The Daily Campus is actively looking into how SMU is administered (“$93 million and counting”). The Faculty Senate takes as one of its tasks the overseeing of all aspects of the University that affect the academic mission. The question of athletics financing has, as a consequence, been one the Faculty Senate has devoted much time to over the years. Since one of our documents formed the basis of the reporting in Wednesday’s story, we would have liked the opportunity to discuss the budget issues with your reporter. Not having had that conversation, we wish, for the moment, to comment on two aspects of the story. First, the spending characterized as “losses” are in fact mostly budgeted expenses for the maintenance of our athletics programs. Second, two thirds of those expenses are for scholarships that provide for the academic careers of athletes. While there may be disagreement over the level of funding for the athletic programs, calling these expenses “losses” does not accurately reflect SMU’s decision to provide that funding. A reasonable discussion of athletics at SMU demands clarity about the various categories as a complement to transparency. Sincerely, Dennis Foster, Ex-President, Faculty Senate Fredrick Olness, President, Faculty Senate

-Austin Prentice, candidate for vice president

The other candidate for president, Jake Torres, did not respond to e-mails asking for a response.

I think that in light of the current economic crisis, it is incredibly fiscally irresponsible to pour more money into athletics rather than into scholarships and academic programs. A university is more than its football team. -Alex Bret, sophomore history and religious studies double major

Matthew Wilson, Member, Athletics Policy Committe, Faculty Senate

News

The Daily Campus

POM: Team heads to Daytona April 7-11 to compete CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

year for the girls as I was pregnant and on maternity leave for almost three months,” Todd said. “So they really didn’t see me much until the spring semester. Melissa, the captain, and Brittany [Kemper], the co-captain, did an unbelievable job running the team in my absence.” While Todd seems optimistic of the team’s chances for success, members of the squad note the challenges that lay ahead. “We lost a lot of talented and experienced NDA dancers last year and we’ve had to work harder to make up for it,” Heather Crabtree, junior team member, said. “I think we’re doing great so far. As we prepare for nationals the

morale is high because we are leaving for Daytona soon and are getting excited to defend our title.” In spite of recent difficulties, members of the team rallied in support of their coach. “We’re so excited for Lori and her adorable new baby girl,” McDowell said. “I know it’s been stressful for her this year, and the whole team has been really great in supporting her: we all stepped up our game to help out.” Although this year presented a number of challenges for the squad, team members find other aspects of SMU Pom to be well worth it. “Pom has been great this year for so many reasons. Our captain is a junior, as opposed to the usual senior, and

has really lead our team well because she hasn’t been focused on graduation and her life after SMU like previous captains,” Crabtree said. “Also, we had a winning football team so that got everyone excited to come to games and help cheer on our Mustangs.” The team will compete in Florida from April 7-11 in the Division 1A category, against college dance teams from all over the country. “I believe one advantage we have this year is that most of the girls have competed in Daytona before so they know what to expect,” Todd said. “They already know what is expected of them and how hard they have to fight to win.”

TURNER: ‘No two hours are alike’ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

are mostly dealt with before they reach him. Each person acts as a filter of issues and information. Turner credits vice president Tom Barry as his primary filter. While Turner is not sitting in on meetings or working in his office, he attends events around SMU or Dallas. Such events include SMU football games, SMU Tate Lectures, Dallas Citizens Council meetings, luncheons and so much more. There are “three or four things every night that we are invited to,” he said. “I do a lot of luncheons that are fundraising luncheons.” Turner said that the provost, Paul Ludden, can attend these functions in his place. As far as holding the president’s title, Turner explained that the main

challenge of the job is “the diversity of problems and issues” among the faculty, staff, students and alumni. “There are so many diverse interests of the community and some of them are not compatible,” he said. “The goal is to coordinate all the differing views and still get them to move toward a common goal.” The president said he is proud of his team for improving the quality of the student body and the support for academic programs. “The things that help make the academic programs strong are the buildings and faculty. The two go hand in hand,” Turner said. In order to build on top of what he and his team have already established, Turner mentioned three goals that he wishes to accomplish before the end of his career at SMU.

First, he wants SMU to rank in U.S. News Report’s top 50 schools, as opposed to being in the top 60. “The major idea is for the whole university to move up as a whole,” Turner said. Second, he wants the average SAT score of incoming SMU students to be 1300. Lastly, he wants there to be at least 100 endowed chairs in professorship. Certainly, Turner has a lot on his plate. One moment he is meeting with the provost about academics, and the next, he is departing to attend a fundraising luncheon or to meet prestigious individuals like George W. Bush on campus. This doesn’t even include tending to the stack of papers on his desk. Smiling, Turner concluded, “No two hours are alike.”

Thursday, April 1, 2010 •

SPORTS: These jobs aren’t 9 to 5 CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

the off-season, those working for teams such as the Dallas Cowboys, FC Dallas or the Dallas Stars never see the same day twice. “If you’re looking for a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. it’s not in sports,” Michael Lysko, SMU sport management program employee, said. For those students who aren’t sure about what to do in the future, the career panels can help students find something they like. “A lot of students are unsure about what business path they want to take but these discussions can help guide them toward a specific potential career,” junior Katie Aguinage said. These career discussion panels allow students to hear about a new spectrum in corporate America. However, along with the discussion about what the sports

industry has to offer, the professional individuals present discussed the importance of being flexible and open minded to new experiences. Many of them started as interns and they talked about the importance of having experience. Along with this experience, commitment is also a factor that must be a part of what an intern must have to work in sports. “You may turn down the best opportunity you had because you wanted a salary,” Melanie Jarrett, FC Dallas employee, said. As for the future of the sports industry, an increase in jobs is apparent. According to Lysko, in about five years there will be a growth in this industry of about 80 percent. “If you continue in the sports business, you’ll move on,” Lysko said. The employees of the sports industry know that it’s a tough market

to go into, but with the tips that were offered, students can begin to gain momentum and get that dream job with the NFL or the NBA. “This panel provided a vast array of behind-the-scenes sports personalities to relate to and offer different methods to reach my sports career goals,” sophomore Alexander Gras said. There have been several panels that have been set up to let students learn about different career paths and industries. With the coordination of professionals around the Dallas area, the Hegi Center holds these discussion panels to help students find new ideas for their futures or reassure them about their current plans. “Different events and panels bring professors to let students learn about careers in an informal way,” Caryn Stratman, assistant director of the Careers in Sports panel, said.

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EMPLOYMENT BEST JOB OFF CAMPUS! A part-time position for administrative duties and management of online sales of www. chromeemblems.com. $10 per hour/ within two miles of SMU/ relaxed environment/ flexible schedule. Contact Jillian Simon at 214-363-3170 or sales@ chromeemblems.com. BEST JOB ON CAMPUS! The Daily Campus is seeking a top notch marketing in the advertising department. This is an opportunity for advertising, marketing, or business majors to acquire “real world” experience. Looks great on resume! Flexible hours. Call Diana at 8-4111, come by HughesTrigg, or e-mail ddenton@smu.edu. BEST JOB ON CAMPUS! The Daily Campus is seeking advertising sales reps. This is an opportunity for advertising, marketing, or business majors to acquire “real world” experience. Looks great on resume! Earn commission while learning outside sales. Flexible hours. Call Diana at 84111, come by Hughes-Trigg, or e-mail ddenton@smu.edu. GRAD STUDENT NEEDS assistance assembling and recovering pool tables in nice homes around the area. Flexible schedule. Two or three 2-4 hour jobs per week. $10/hr. axissbilliards@yahoo. com. HELP LEARNING QUICKEN and setting up files. Organizational skills and accurate typing. Three blocks from SMU. Call 214-535-2666 KIDS COOKING COMPANY is looking for fun, friendly students who enjoy working with children to teach cooking camps this summer! Flexible schedule and great work environment. Contact us at chefs@kidscookingcompany.com or 214-265-9949 to apply! LOCAL COMPANY LOOKING for marketing and office help. Part time positions available. Call 469-853-2039 or e-mail lou@louolerio.com

SECRETARY/FRONT OFFICE ASSISTANT. Great learning business environment, flexible hours. Must be organized, dependable and experience in Microsoft office, excel. Pay is $12 per hour. Email resume to randy@ ebadgeworks.com. STEVEN’S TRANSPORT DALLAS, one of North America’s Premiere Trucking & Logistics Company is seeking outgoing, aggressive, self-starters to join our centralized war-room logistics center. Ideal candidates must have the ability to multi-task, possess analytical skills, exhibit excellent follow through and enjoy working in a team environment. Steven’s Transport is consistently best in class, a market leader and has never experienced a layoff. Contact Keri Stegman at 214-647-3765/ kstegman@stevenstranport.com or visit stevenstransport.com to apply. WORKING MOM SEEKS Honest reliable responsible part-time care for puppy. Need walks during weekdays and possible overnights when I travel. Please contact me at djslocum@gmail. com . THE TOY MAVEN, in the Preston Royal Village, is looking for friendly, energetic students who want to gain experience in business and enjoy working with children. Flexible schedule, weekdays and weekends. Contact us at maven@ thetoymaven.com or 214-265-9971 to apply.

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FOR RENT 1/1 AND 2/2 located less than 2 miles from SMU. Starting at $750.00. All updated. Call for our current specials. Lantower Properties 214520-7337. www.lantowerproperties.com. 2 BED 2 BATH duplex for rent. Intersection of Anita and McMillan. 1250sf, recently updated. One mile from SMU. Call Brian 214-395-5087. $1,250/month. 3735 BINKLEY 2/1 DUPLEX, completely updated and remodeled, granite counter tops, new appliances, like brand new, back yard. Call 214-763-5209. 3BR/2BA BEAUTIFUL HOME. Walk to class! Hardwoods throughout. Two large living rooms. Huge backyard, great condition, visit www.2909Dyer.com for pictures. Call Jim 214-394-3626. $2000/month. 3 BED 2 BATH Hardwoods, Stainless Steel Appliances, Large Rooms, Large Closets, Flagstone patio, Circle Drive Way & Rear Entry drive way, Marble Fireplace, Study area, call Michael at 214-317-9276, 4084 Purdue, University Park 4133 GRASSMERE. CLOSE TO SMU. Cute triplex! Upstairs unit 1Br/1Ba 1000sq. ft. $950/ month. Hardwoods, W/D included, fenced backyard, parking for two. 214-641-4197. 5711 MORNINGSIDE “M” STREETS. 1/1 CH/A Hardwood, updated, dishwasher, w/d, reserve parking. Large Patio. $650/month + elec. Non-smoker. Available Now. 214-8266161. 6060 BIRCHBROOK DRIVE, first floor condo 2Br/2ba/2la. All appliances, wireless connection, double car port, abundant closet space. Near Hwy 75/Norwood/Dart Station. $1150/ month plus deposit. Call 214-7635976.

Sudoku

BEST LOCATION IN Uptown! Across the street from Primo’s and Frankie’s. Beautiful 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath, 2 story condo. Backyard/Patio. Pool, Grill. 1200/ mo. Call 214-215-6255. DARLING GARAGE APARTMENT available. Creek view, new hardwoods, private patio, blocks from SMU. $575 per month or will exchange for baby-sitting. Call 214-361-4259. FULLY FURNISHED CONDOS 6 blocks from SMU Campus 1/1 700 square feet, basic expanded cable, gated parking. Short or long term leases. $1100 per month. Call 214-522-4692 FULLY FURNISHED GARAGE APT. Beautiful location near White Rock Lake. 8 min. from SMU, 15 min. from downtown. Direct TV/Internet, W/D. Central AC/Heat. All bills paid. $650/mo. Owner is retired deputy sheriff. ghlocke@hotmail.com or 214-823-5558

LOWER 2B/2B/1CP, for sale or lease, 5 minutes from SMU. Great location, quiet, lovely courtyards. Furnished or unfurnished, washer/dryer. 1,000 sq. ft. $125,000. Rent $850-$950. Will consider short term. 214528-9144 or 214-552-6265.

CONDO FOR SALE. Beautifully maintained one bedroom with loft, 1.5 baths, recently painted interior walls, laminated wood floors downstairs, refrigerator and washer/dryer stay. Contact Joyce 972-841-6528.

SMURent.com HAS HELPED the SMU community with leasing, buying, renting, and selling for the past 8 years. Free service. SMU Alum. SMURent.com. 214-457-0898. Brian Bailey.

“LiveNearSMU.com- FREE REAL estate service by SMU alums to help students and parents buy, sell, rent and lease in the SMU area. Visit LiveNearSMU.com or call/text Brian at 214-457-0898.”

SUMMER SUBLEASE HALF block from SMU. Fully furnished duplex. 3 bedroom 2 bathrooms. Washer/dryer. Available late May to mid August. Rent part/full summer. Jennifer 214-415-0939 or jpbaxter@sbcglobal.net. WHY RENT? YOUR piers are buying condos nearby SMU with 5% down offset by $8,000 tax credit. Let roommate pay half your mortgage! Only until April 30th! Call Ryan Streiff 469-371-3008

GET THERE FIRST Realty, Leases, Homes, Duplexes, Townhomes, condos near campus. 30 year in business. 214522-5700 x 1. www.dfwlandlord.com Free $25 restaurant coupon with every lease.

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

LOOKING FOR A place to rent within walking distance to campus? Check out www.samsawyer.postlets.com

2BR/2BA CONDO FOR Sale. $99,900. Just one mile from SMU. Updated kitchen and bathrooms. Two covered parking spaces. All appliances stay. MLS ID# 11326883. Call Denise 214-673-2309

LOWER 1/1 w/ hdwds, archways, ice-maker refirg., disp. Large bath off bedroom and walk-in closet. W/D coin-op inside bldg w/ parking at rear. $695+bills. Also 1/1 H.P. apt w/ all amenities includes hdwds, W/D, central A/H, central vac. $900 bills paid. Walk to SMU. Call 214871-2342 LOWER 2/1 AT 3905 Hawthorne. Granite in kitchen, all appliances including microwave. Private “New Orleans” patio hdwds. Central A/H, W/D connections and carport parking space. $1,250 + bills. Also 2/2 duplex in UP, w/ all amenities. Almost 2,000sqft. $1,795/mo. Call 214-871-2342 for showing and more information.

2 BEDROOM 2.5 BATH CONDO at The Remington, has private baths off each bedroom. Easy to show! Call Cindy at 2140679-2403. $269,500. 2 BEDROOM CONDOS $134K to $172K. Extensive renovations, hand-scraped wood floors, granite counters, appliances including W/D. Beautiful property, heart of Oak Lawn. Open daily, except Tuesday, 12:00 to 5:00. Contact agent at 972-2485429.

By Michael Mepham

3/2 CONDO. Hardwood floors, granite counter tops, Berber carpet, washer/ dryer included. Very close to SMU. Gated community. Available for movein anytime. Please call 469-855-6417 for more information. 4 BED/4 BATH HUGE HOUSE! (5311 W. University Blvd) 3firepl, media and sun room, large entertainment room, large dining, kitchen and breakfast area. Huge yard, 2 car garage. Call 214.507.4672 BEST OF GREENVILLE & SMU. Beautiful, spacious 3 bedroom 2.5 bath duplex. Close to popular Greenville attractions. Fireplace, dishwasher, w/d, garage. $ 1,950 /month. Call 972-5230966 . CONDO FOR LEASE. Walking distance to SMU and Snider Plaza. 2 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, 2 parking places, washer/dryer, updated kitchen. $2,250 per month. 214-384-4946. LARGE 3 BEDROOM, 2 bath upstairs duplex 3237 Rosedale 1/2 block from SMU. Amenities include washer dryer updated kitchen and baths 3 parking spots. Call 214-316-9872..

04/01/10

THREE TWO HOME. Study and Two Living Areas freshly renovated. One Mile From SMU Campus GREAT HOUSING FOR YOUR STUDENT! 4223 Delmar $279,900 214-502-5858. RE/MAX

A C R O SS 1 Trip with much hardship 5 Ampule 9 Bikini blast, briefly 14 Prefix with port 15 FAQ responses, e.g. 16 Belittle 17 Send out 18 “Gosh darn it!” 19 Language that gives us “floe” 20 Music lessons for Bill Clinton? 23 Oscar-winning role for Forest 24 PC backup key 25 Corrosionresistant metal 29 Letter flourish 31 Sgt. Snorkel’s pooch 33 An A will usually raise it: Abbr. 34 Science opening? 36 Most congenial 39 Documentary about Chicago’s relationship with its team? 42 Event with a piñata 43 Stuffing stuff 44 “Exodus” hero 45 At the top of the heap 47 Roman __: thinly disguised fiction 51 Often scandalous book genre 54 Dawdle behind 56 Old name of Tokyo 57 More equitable of two civil case juries? 60 With alacrity 63 Ruminate 64 Prefix with dextrous 65 Its capital is Apia 66 Performing __ 67 Despicable 68 Almost boil 69 Political cartoonist Thomas 70 Israeli statesman Weizman DOWN 1 One of Luther’s 95 2 Like “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” in 2008

REAL ESTATE SERVICES

TUTOR SERVICES

MUSTANG REALTY GROUP - SMU’s premier real estate broker. Prides itself on being the best at helping the SMU community. Buy and sell properties near campus. Visit our web site www. mustangrealty.com or call us at 214393-3970.

ACCOUNTING AND FINANCE TUTOR. Voted “The Best” for 14 years. College is more fun when you have a tutor. Lee Lowrie, CPA, MBA 214-208-1112.

ROOMMATE

ACCOUNTING, MATH, CHEMISTRY, Statistics, Economics, Finance, Physics, Rhetoric, Tutoring. “Learn to work smarter not harder.” David Kemp Tutorial Services. Call 469-767 6713.

PROFESSIONAL FEMALE AND her dog are looking to share their 3 bedroom M street home, private unfurnished bedroom shared bath, $450 per month includes utilities and wireless internet. Must love dogs, pass background check. Tracy 817-703-7735.

MATH, STATISTICS TUTOR for MBA, college, high school students. Highland Park, Austin College, SMU alumna; M.S. Math; 20 years Texas Instruments; 2 years college math instructor; 10 years professional tutor. Sheila Walker 214-417-7677

By Donna S. Levin

3 Alchemist’s creation 4 Hawk family bird 5 High-tech invader 6 Of one mind 7 Aptly named shaving lotion 8 Became unhinged 9 Capital on the Red River 10 Govt. security 11 Otologist’s concern 12 Org. dodged by draft dodgers 13 Driver’s starting point 21 Take down 22 Did a laundry chore 26 “__ a Kick Out of You”: Cole Porter 27 “__-daisy!” 28 Welcome spot 30 “What You Need” band 32 Carryalls 35 Lacking capacity 37 2002 movie with Manny the Mammoth 38 Newspaper concern, esp. lately

04/01/10

We d n e s d a y ’s P u z z l e S o l v e d

39 Bold Ruler, to Secretariat 40 Versailles eye 41 Schedules of problems to be dealt with 42 More than plump 46 Jenna of “Dharma & Greg” 48 Musical based on an 1862 novel, for short 49 Safe to put away

50 More artful 52 Henry Blake’s title on “M*A*S*H” 53 Good place to get? 55 “Give it __!” 58 Surrounding glow 59 Uninhibited party 60 The law, according to Mr. Bumble 61 Lobbying gp. 62 Org. for GPs

Can’t wait until tomorrow for Crossword solutions? For solutions to our Crossword puzzles now, checkout our website at www.smudailycampus.com.

THE INDEPENDENT VOICE OF SOUTHERN METHODIST UNIVERSITY SINCE 1915

The Daily Compost APRIL 1, 2010

VOLUME 95, ISSUE 85 SMUDAYLYCAMPUS.COM

THE MAGICAL LAND OF NARNIA

POLITICS

FIRST COPY FREE, ADDITIONAL COPIES $50

WTF?

Eyelids: The new energy By MAY BALLEEN Staff Writer mballeen@smu.edu

Oculus Energy Company has come up with a new energy source: Nancy Pelosi’s eyelids. “It’s a gold mine,” said Oculus president Ace Jones. “That woman blinks once every 3/4ths of a second. I don’t know why we’re the first to cash in on this.” Pelosi, whose rapid batting will produce enough energy to power her Washington D.C. office, is excited about the venture. “I will be the only politician powering their own office. I feel like this proves how dedicated I am to the green movement.” In order to produce the energy, Pelosi will be required to wear a helmet with attached wires that will be plugged into her tear ducts. “I’m actually glad to have the helmet,” said Pelosi, who believes that in addition to providing energy, the helmet will also protect her well-being. “Ever since the health care bill passed, I’ve been getting a record number of threats against my life. This helmet might mean the difference between life and death in some sort of attack.” Jones and Pelosi are currently working on ways to reinforce the helmet in order to make it missile proof. Since Pelosi agreed to be the guinea pig for the new technology, her approval ratings have gone up 11 percent. “I think voters are really intrigued by this,” said Jones. “This is a great way to clean up our environment and voters aren’t ignorant to that.” California voter Missy Sizemore supports Pelosi’s new headgear. “Honestly, I just want to keep her in office long enough to see her wearing a helmet with wires plugged into her

eyes. I might actually watch C-SPAN if I could see that.” Jones would like more congressmen to figure out ways to help the energy crisis by trading in their bad habits for clean energy. “I think that if we can find a way to create power from unnecessary Republican outbursts, then we’ll be well on our way to powering the entire Capitol building,” said Jones, who is currently in talks with Joe Biden to figure out a creative way to power the vice-president’s electric train set with his fondness for certain four letter expletives. Oculus Energy is currently working on making the technology more portable and efficient. They predict that they will be ready to start energy production by the beginning of November.

Students arrested for living in tunnels Staff Writer jtime@smu.edu

Staff Writer wbago@smu.edu

It took seven hours and two rounds of tear gassing by SMU and Dallas police to drive a group of students out of the SMU tunnel system Wednesday afternoon. Police discovered the group earlier that day. Fourteen SMU students had been living in the tunnels for about a month, according to police spokesman Alfred Garbonzo, who described their living situation as “a couple of camping tents, some George Foreman grills, a generator and some 75 cans of Spaghetti O’s. School officials were notified of the group around 10 p.m. and immediately ordered the police to expel and arrest the students. Police tried to enter the tunnels half an hour later, but the students fought them off by hurling cans of Spaghetti O’s at the intruders. “All of a sudden, we see these metal cans coming toward us,” Sgt. Mitch Mitcherson said. “They’d hit a wall, burst open and splatter

us with sauce. These guys were acting like crazed wolves, so we decided to retreat. We came out looking like psycho butchers.” Two officers sustained blows to their heads and were transported to Parkland Memorial Hospital. They were released an hour later. SMU called in Dallas PD after the first attempt to go underground. “I was walking to class on the Main Quad when I see dozens of police cars come screeching to a halt near Umphrey Lee,” sophomore Drew Arbuckle said. “There’s all this yelling, then I get shoved into Fondren because they say there’s a standoff going down. I thought someone was threatening to blow up the school.” SMU closed down the Main Quad, but kept classes open even after police fired two rounds of tear gas because, as one official said on condition of anonymity, “The way the school saw it, closing down the university would make it seem like we were afraid of some crazy teenagers.” “It would have said ‘these adults can’t control their student population.’ The university couldn’t have that,” he said. One of the fourteen came above

ground after the second round of tear gas waving a white T-shirt in surrender. He then spent the next hour clutching at his eyes in agony, screaming “MY EYES! MY EYES!” Police, donned in gas masks, rounded up the students and carted them off to the University Park Jail. Six of the 14 were released on $10,000 bail late Wednesday night. The other eight students enjoyed a catered breakfast from Bubba’s. The leader of the group, junior Chang Pablo, was one of those released. Pablo said he doesn’t know why the group was arrested. “We weren’t harming anyone,” Pablo said from his multi-billion dollar compound in the Dallas suburbs. “We just wanted to be like the mole people.” Pablo denied allegations from SMU officials that he was operating a cult. He said he was just showing people the true path to righteousness. “Mole people understand that we can only achieve true happiness by living underground and shunning the traditional ways of the evil sun people,” he said. “By allowing our eyes to fuse shut, we can break free of the bonds of sin.”

RANDOM FILM REFERENCE

Staff Writer jtorrance@smu.edu

News .......................................... 1859 Photoshopped Pictures ...................... 2 Chatroulette Stories .......................... 9 Stuff Pulled from Perez Hilton ....... 666 Opinion ............................................ 0

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work

please don’t

Urban anthropologist Chuck Wolbuck explained that the idea of mole people stem from an urban legend—that large groups of homeless people carve out civilizations in subway tunnels and storm drains. “Even if there were groups of mole people—and this hasn’t been proven empirically, there’s no reason to believe it’s because they believe the sun is evil,” he said. “Also, I’m pretty sure living underground won’t make your eyes fuse shut.” Officials charge that Pablo bilked his followers of out millions of dollars from their trust funds and that he was planning an attack on SMU in an attempt to free the “sun people” from their sins. Officials did not elaborate on the planned attack.

POLITICS

Headline goes here By JACK TORRANCE

stapling operation, reducing the amount of food they can ingest at once. “If you have the munchies and all you can eat is a Saltine cracker—well, I think that’s punishment enough,” Quinberry said.

INSIDE

TODAY Freakin’ Cold TOMORROW Blazin’ Hot

Group leader says ‘We wanted to be like the mole people’

By JUSTIN TIME

TASK FORCE

University officials nix Thursday By WINNIE BAGO

As part of the ongoing battle against drug and alcohol abuse on campus, the university announced yesterday a dramatic restructuring of the school week. “We spent a lot of time figuring out how to keep students from binge drinking, but we kept running into the wall of Thursday bar night,” said Arthur Quinberry, a university spokesman. “Then it hit us: Just get rid of Thursdays.” Under the new policy, Thursday will be replaced by a second Monday. “No one goes out on Monday nights,” Quinberry said. In addition, the administration is considering doing away with weekends. When asked if that would make things confusing for students, Quinberry responded, “I don’t see what’s so hard about it. The week would just go Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Monday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday and so on. It’s really not that complicated.” Not all students are thrilled by the change. “Does this mean we’ll have to go to our Monday-WednesdayFriday classes four times a week?” senior Nancy McQueen asked. “If so, I’m going to have to change my math class.” Other party-hardy students have already begun scheming ways of getting around the policy. “We’ll just have Thirsty Second-Mondays,” junior Doris Flinn said. “I think that’s got a nice ring to it.” The new policies don’t stop there. Students caught with marijuana will now forcibly undergo a stomach

Disclaimer: All similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This page of satire and parodies is brought to you for April Fool’s Day. Enjoy.

WEATHER

ICE

SMU rejects landscaping award

and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

By BEN DOVER Staff Writer bdover@smu.edu

SMU officials refused to accept the “Best Landscape” Award from the National Association of University Garden Associations on Wednesday, saying they don’t believe SMU deserves the award. “How can we accept this award?” Chief Lawn Mower Operator, Grass Color Specialist and Landscaping Award Accepter Howard Leafblower said. “The grass is a horrendous shade of green. It doesn’t meet our standards at all. We’re not going to be praised for slacking off on watering our lawn!” SMU officials say their landscaping fails in several areas,

SPORTS

including the shade of green in the grass. They also say the NAUGA is not committed to watering lawns on a fixed schedule, even if it’s during a record rainfall. The NAUGA was stunned, saying this was the first time in history that a university had declined an award. “I guess we should commend them on their commitment to a certain shade of green,” NAUGA spokesman Gus Gussey said. “But to decline an award because of it? It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard.”

ENTERTAINMENT

OPINION

Gospel Choir too talented for SMU, leaves for NYU

Football team charters plane to Mars

I saw Jesus on a piece of toast and now my life has meaning