Boo! You’ve Been Ghosted

You’ve been

GH The spooky new dating trend that affects how people deal with breakups OSTED

By Kate Foster

You meet someone new out for drinks or a movie, and it seems like the encounter was successful. But after weeks of silence, it becomes apparent: you’ve been ghosted.

“I genuinely didn’t know what ghosting was until someone came up to me in a bar and told me I ghosted them,” said Parker Chuba, a financial analyst living in Atlanta.

“Ghosting” is when we end contact with a partner, friend, or date without warning, or ignore their texts, calls or other communication. The practice can create confusion, misunderstanding and even pain. It happens more than you might think.

According to a 2018 HuffPost article, 50 percent of people admit to both experiencing ghosting and ghosting someone else. A 2018 survey by BankMyCell showed even higher numbers: 82 percent of women and 71 percent of men have ghosted someone.

“I ghosted someone a couple of years ago because I did not know what I wanted,” said Cameron Hay, a senior at Southern Methodist University. “I think it stemmed from an anxiety perspective. I didn’t feel like I could tell them this face-to -face, which I know is immature. I eventually blocked their number because I wanted to forget the whole thing.”

The rise in ghosting could have something to do with just how easy technology makes it to ghost. Chuba says people used to communicate exclusively face-to-face on dates, so people faced their likes and dislikes in person. But in the world of swiping, liking and DMing, closing a relationship is as easy as closing an app.

“Because you can ghost without any real consequences then why wouldn’t you?” asks Chuba. “We always think there’s something better out there because when you go on Instagram for instance, and you see that everything is perfect, and maybe that girl you went out with wasn’t perfect in every single way then you ghost them and move on.”

Dr. Omri Gillath, a professor of psychology at the University of Kansas who has researched attachment style in relationships, said social media allows people to easily ghost one another.

“People sometimes view romantic partners as disposable and treat them like that,” he said.

Hay believes that ghosting can even affect one’s mental health. “I think that being ghosted leaves people without closure,” she says. “Depending on the relationship, being ghosted can take a toll on mental health because it makes people feel like they are the problem. The person who is ghosting someone else also does not get closure in the relationship. It may seem like a temporary fix in the short-term, but it hurts both of you in the end.”