Tidbits Reflections and recollections on the path to happiness
For those who have stumbled upon their own paths to happiness and for those who are still wandering.
Nataly Perez 11408489
Inside you'll find... Page 1. Conversations with Myself Exploring the relationship between music, memories and emotions.
Page 8. The Artist Reading between the lines in a place where happiness and art meet.
Page 9. Equilibrium A personal essay examining the development of a path to happiness and stumbles along the way.
Page 14. Make Up Your Mind A make up tutorial with a twist.
Page 17. Dear Sofie A glimpse into the growth of a friendship.
What represents happiness to me? If I have to narrow it down, it would be the unconscious expression of a body in motion. A startled laugh, limbs moving to the music or complete elation when a breeze blows through your hair. When you don’t have time to think or be constricted by what is socially acceptable. When you are moved to tears or when you declare your love for a stranger through wine-hazed vision. Happiness to me is freedom.
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"I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around Pick up my guitar and play just like yesterday" Won’t get fooled again - The Who
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Do you know what it’s like to wake up and not fear war? To smile at a stranger and not fear any sort of prosecution? To be educated, despite your gender. To raise your hand and disagree. To drink freely, in the company of friends and know that you are free to enjoy yourselves. To listen to any type of music, by any sort of artist, singing about whatever they like. I do. Hopefully you do too. 3
"He said he had lost, lost a sense of direction there was something in the water yeah, a murky affliction " Whales – Set Sail
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“We’ll have the music off.” I think I’m supposed to indicate for 3 seconds before I turn. Right? Right. I’m definitely supposed to turn right here. The instructor is silent, his eyes skimming over my hands. Ten to three, keeps hands at ten to three. Check mirrors. One, two, three. Make obvious head movements, don’t just move your eyes. Make sure seat belt is on. Oh my god, did I put my seatbelt on? I can’t look down, my eyes are supposed to be on the road! Okay, I’ll just exhale. Yep, tightness around my abdomen, seatbelt is on. Don’t drive to close to the car behind you. Pass a sign and count, this will tell you how close you are. Wait was it one-one thousand-two-one thousand-three-one thousand or one-mississipi-two-mississipi-three-mississipi? Oh sweet Jesus, remember to breathe. Three point turn? I got this. Okay back right is reverse. Wait, shit. Do I lose marks if I forget which gear is which? He didn’t smile when I smiled at him just then. Does that mean I failed? Will he tell me or do I have to keep driving and find out at the end? Ha, that was reverse. Nailed it. Orange light. There’s no way I’m going through that. Brake aaaand clutch in. Was that too fast? Surely that’s not clutch riding. Oh god, double roundabout. Indicate now? Yeah, now. I think. Wait he’s supposed to give way! Indicate out, yup. Slow down and park. In front of all those people? No pressure. Geez. It’s almost done, reverse and straighten up. Wait he’s taken his seatbelt off already! Do I lose marks because I straightened up and he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt? Is that even my fault? Did I even remember to bring my license? He gets out and I follow him inside. Check phone. Switch off silent. No Mum, don't call me now!
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"I know it’s been thousands of years and I feel your hurt and I know it’s wrong and you feel you’ve been chained and broken and burned" Spirit Bird- Xavier Rudd
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It feels so nice, I think, to be touched. Cheek against palm. Shoulder burrowed under arm. Head against chest. Mouth to mouth. No television. Dim light. Simple words. Pumpkin gnocchi without a fork. You, me, Xavier in between. Wind outside, wine inside. The ipod glow illuminates the corner. The light of a lone car winding through the mountain road. Silver outline of the lake beneath us. Clear view, glass from floor to ceiling. No company. Your company. Joining hearts and hands. In the earth in the trees in the rocks in the water in your blood and in the air we breathe. Heater glows, fire burns. Stroking hair. Clinking glasses. Whispers cutting through the silence. Left it all back there, outside these walls. We’ll talk sense in the morning. Where I’d rather be: 1. Here 2. Here with more wine 3. In your arms 4. See 1. Darkness pervades. Everything rests. Slowly it fades. 7
Slowly we fade.
NP: Why are you happy? JB: Because peace can be achieved. And it arises within me first. It is internal, this process. Consider a sculpture. Perfectly smooth, masterfully designed and painstakingly moulded. The figure may sit or stand; the artist may pay tribute to similar styles of their era or subvert these traditions. They may have to create something based on art show entry or a museum display. When does it stop becoming the artists work and become the audience’s reaction? What will the focus be? Will it be an exploration of a concept? Will it be a dissection of a certain style? Consider the consequences of this work. Do they matter? It may have taken years to think of the concept. The base has to be carefully considered according to its display. Will it be clay? Or bronze? Metal perhaps? Wax may work. It may have to be protected from the elements. Perhaps it will be encased in glass, subject to public opinion. Which base is best? Clay is sturdier but bronze is more delicate. Metal is more modern but wax withstands, wax is traditional. The sculpture could be a woman or a man. Will it be composed in accordance to its gender? The male may be moulded in a dominant pose and painted in darker colours. The female in a gentler pose, upright, or her legs crossed perhaps. The sculpture may be based on previous works the artist has seen or accepted as a popular work. This is the artist’s discretion. Combine these factors. Work for weeks, months or years, meticulously contributing to the final work. Invest your time, your money and your relationships in pursuit of this perfect ideal. Build it up, absorb every inspiration, every source of influence. Spend sleepless nights staring, observing the way it makes you feel, the minor flaw only you can see. Dream of it. Dedicate your life to it. 8
Then shatter it. Start again.
NP: What represents happiness to you? AC: Happiness is being excited about what you've got to look forward to in the near and distant future. Its being relatively content with where you are in the world in regards to everything - friends, family, career, work/life balance, money, physique etc and not having any major stress in your life, whether that stress is real or entirely in your own mind.
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I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was 7 years old. My Year Two teacher, Miss Thompson, left me a note on my English project that read: “I hope one day to go into the ‘P’ section of the library and find a book written by Nataly Perez”. It was and still is an effortless pleasure and gives me a deep sense of satisfaction. Moreover, it makes me happy and fulfils a certain portion of my happiness like nothing else. Keeping journals was never really my thing; I didn't like the expectations behind it. Write about my day? What if I don’t want to remember how I failed that maths test? Can I write about what I wished my day had been like instead? I was a big fan of fiction, in case you hadn't noticed. I preferred to write fragments of stories inspired by thoughts or music or vivid emotion. I still write like that, reveling in the freedom to experiment with form that writing allows, particularly when driven by pure emotion. It is an undeniable truth that writing is inextricably linked to my happiness and the composition of it. I guess the first time I really thought about happiness was when I thought I had lost it. It only crossed my mind when I realised that perhaps my butt was so numb because I’d been sitting on the bathroom floor for the last hour and a half watching myself cry in the mirror. Teenage angst will do that to you. I say teenage angst but I really don’t think I was such a bad teenager in the grand scheme of things. I declared my eternal love for a boy and fought for weeks with my parents to let me stay at his house. 10
Explaining to my dad that this was forever seemed entirely plausible at the time and I genuinely saw my relationship as hugely mature compared to the fights I would overhear my parents having when it came to gardening or Bunnings. Focus on the positive. See things the sunny way up. Turn that frown upside down. We’ve heard it all before, I’ve preached it before too. But how can you really anchor yourself to something resembling happiness when your best friend, your closest confidante and most trusted companion is put down a few months after gorging through the trash and eating left over birthday cake? The act was fine, funny even. Now I am impatient with loud barks, reluctant to becoming too attached in case something happens. They’re not Cindy, they won’t come close. But is happiness acceptance? Or moving on? Reading and absorbing and being smacked in the face with social guidelines telling you “how to be happy by 3pm” isn’t exactly conducive to developing your own relationship with this idea. Focusing on balancing all areas of your life, on the “in betweens” if you will, leads me in any case to a furious Googling session with key terms including “cheap but legit supplements”, “how long does it take to learn the splits” and “top 10 transformational books”. Does balance include getting up at 5am for a sunrise yoga class only to fall asleep during Savasana and go back to bed when you get back home? If it does, I’m nailing this thing. 11
The internet can’t answer all my questions unfortunately. Sometimes experiencing something terrible is enough to give you a wonderfully new lens through which to see your life. One of my favourite part time jobs was a flamenco dancer in a Spanish restaurant from the age of sixteen. The restaurant was (and perhaps still is) owned by a Turkish family who quite simply had no idea about Spanish culture. After a particularly difficult night, where our final dance included encouraging customers to dance with us failed miserably and resulted in us almost begging couples to leave their tables, he asked us to step outside for a chat. I think now is the time when I should mention his habit of drinking from lunch time until he offended enough customers and closed up shop for the night. He informed us that the show had to change in some way and suggested that we wear shorter dresses. Flamenco. Shorter dresses. It just wouldn’t work. I was on the cusp of seventeen and was realising that there are some people in the world just waiting to take advantage of you.
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The rate at which I realised there were certain things that really didn’t make me happy was a lot higher than the fulfilment of my own happiness. I couldn’t stop listening to what I saw on television and I didn’t want to stop reading about celebrities and the wonderful things they had or how Sam from primary school had a dance scholarship when my dancing career had peaked in a dodgy Spanish restaurant.
I write because on this page I create the world I want, I don’t have to worry about my freedom being questioned or my clothing being judged. There is no greater satisfaction to my mind than the written word, whether it is by my own hand or by an author I respect. Finding just a portion of something that makes you whole, practicing that until it becomes second nature and knowing it is reliable to your needs, makes the path to happiness a whole lot more riveting.
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NP: Why are you happy? BP: I am happy because I am constantly making the choice to see the beauty in ugliness. Even though of course at times that can seem hard I know that every second spent upset is a second I’ll never get back. There is a line from a song (Love this – Cosmo Jarvis) that always makes me realise that to see the good in the bad the most important thing to focus on is “dying keeps me conscious of the way I waste my breath”. It reminds me that my time on this earth is very limited and there is only one way I want to spend it, and that is being happy.
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How to Nail the perfect party look (and perhaps find happiness)
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1. Start with a clean base Your mind needs to be open and receptive. 2. Decide which features you want to focus on, applying highlighter and foundation. Realise the importance of defining your happiness. Be specific, decide what you wish to achieve. 3. Cover any imperfections with concealer, blending with your finger. Accept your own imperfections and focus your thoughts on areas of your life you are proud of. 4. Focus on areas that may require extra attention or coverage, such as under eye areas. Consider what is most prominent in your mind and what is preventing you from achieving happiness. 5. Add eyeliner in the colour of your choice, holding your eye lid taught to line your upper lash line. Remember it is your choice to see the world in a certain way, determine what it is you wish to see more of and begin to implement it into your life. 6. Add bronzer or blush, sweeping along the apples of your cheeks for a luminous finish. You may have to re-haul entire areas of your life such as diet, values and attitudes. 7. Carefully apply eye shadow along the lid, selecting colours that compliment your skin and eye colour. Know what works for you. Learn to act, dress and speak in a manner that feels authentic to you. 8. Apply mascara to complete your eye makeup, wiggling the mascara wand along the length of your lashes. Be careful not to poke yourself in the eye! Mistakes and stumbles are part of the journey, laugh at them and continue on your way. 9. Colour your lips with a bright shade to compliment the rest of your makeup. Surround yourself with uplifting colours and reminders that help you focus on seeing the brighter side of your day. 10. Check yourself out in the mirror and admire your new look. 16 Wake each day with the knowledge that you have all the tools to create the life you desire.
October 13th, 2014 Dear Sofie, I have a question to ask for a project I’m working on and you came to mind. I’m hoping to respond creatively, in some way, to your answer and include it in my final work. I thought about our conversations when deciding on these questions so hopefully you enjoy answering the one I have chosen for you. So, why are you happy?
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October 16th, 2014 Dear Nat, Ok here is my supremely ineloquent, first thing that came to my mind answer! Humans make me happy. In the same way that some people have a deep connection with a certain place or piece of music, the sense of calm and happiness and complete contentment that they gain by simply being in its presence, I get from people. The strength and happiness that I gain from people in my life simply being there even when they’re not physically there is unequivocal. And the capacity for people to forgive and sacrifice and find happiness make me happy. And things that people do makes me so happy; art and music which show a part of a person’s passion, when you can feel what that person feels when you see their art. People give me faith; faith in my future and faith and motivation for my studies and goal 18 and that makes me really happy.
Apologies if it makes no sense! Also, I refer to this quote often, I really really like it and it makes me happy too:
“The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think, the way they see themselves, the way they see the world. If you can do that, you can change the way people live their lives. And that's the only lasting thing you can create.� -Chuck Palahniuk So I guess what I'm trying to say is that what makes me happiest is the parts of people that can't be seen, the way that small parts of people can have such a big influence on others and the world, that gives me faith and 19 makes me happy.
October 19th, 2014. Dear Sofie, Your answer is wonderful. I’ve really struggled with some parts of this project but this exchange, this is what I was hoping for when I started this. To be that self aware and search for little snippets of happiness in others and their projects, that is in my eyes a worthy pursuit of happiness. Although, it is not my place to define the worthiness of such pursuits. To be conscious of someone else’s expansion of happiness through art or music is very similar to my idea of happiness. Genuine emotion is a huge part of my definition because there is no room to be shy or stop yourself from swearing when you are completely overwhelmed with emotion. I can’t thank you enough for answering my question and helping me out. I’ll miss you when I go overseas but I know you’re rooting for me to do this and it is something I need. Travel is an undeniable freedom and I hope to be thoroughly cast in the deep end with this first solo trip. How did you manage Laos with the language barrier? Did you speak English? I’ll send you a post card. I’m not sure how reliable these jungle mail men are but it’ll find its way to you, somehow. 20
You've reached the end. Thanks for climbing into my brain for a while.
Nataly Perez nataly.perez@student.uts.edu.au 2014