Features
8 FEBRUARY 2021
How the Fire got its Smoke Amelia Storey, BA History In a quiet valley between ancient hills, There lived an old lady, with ancient skills. She weeded her crops, milked her goat And tended a fire which never, ever smoked. It had been burning for as long as she knew Through rain, snow and winds that blew. It warmed the old lady, cooked her dinner, And kept her company when the stars didn’t glitter. Then one morning, whilst out stacking wood, The earth started shaking beneath where she stood. An ugly giant came over the hilltop, And paused on the crest to hoist a big flag up. “I’m here!” He announced with a sneer. “Now feed me with all of your knowledge, old dear. My belly groans and rumbles like thunder, And it is for power that I hunger!” “I’ll swallow your books, your papers I’ll bite – There can’t be much in this simple life. Trust me, it’s best I rule this land,” He crossed his heart with a grubby hand. The old lady held her temper And said: “My knowledge isn’t trapped on paper! It’s not all dusty on some shelves. It’s right here, in between ourselves.” The Giant, he looked all around; There was no knowledge to be found. He saw no books, no written word, Just a fire that burned and burned. He thought that she was ‘poor’ and ‘dumb’ To live as she did with the Earth and the Sun. But his hunger for knowledge was far too great To leave any crumb off his worldwide plate. Books were what the Giant preferred. His mouth would dribble for the printed word, But he’d eat knowledge however it came: To him all knowledge meant power the same. So if this old lady had none of the ‘good stuff ’, He’d gobble her up (though she looked a bit tough!) She might taste of old herbs, or wood sap all burnt,
And surely of tastes he’d never yet learnt. Whilst he sat, dribbling and thinking, The old lady waited and broke up some kindling. Her life, to him, might appear strange, But she was happy, wise and had no wish to change. “I keep no books, no written word. Knowledge is something used, and heard. It is my tool, my tune and tongue; It’s in this fire, my heart and lungs.” After a moment, the Giant lurched, “This fire must be studied, watched, researched! Its knowledge will be all laid bare For me to eat from my armchair. I’ll know it better than ever you did Because I’m clever, and you’re like a kid.” He pounced, trying to catch the flames But they dodged and dived in a dangerous game. Having watched him for a bit, The old lady plucked a stick alit. “This fire cannot be understood By he who wishes no one good. It cannot be stolen, put out or harmed; It will survive, even if you are armed. But since you are hungry for its knowledge, Why not eat some, as if it were porridge?” The Giant, so greedy for knowledge was he, Couldn’t resist such an offer, you see. He opened his mouth bigger than her, And in went the flame and the stick with a whir. Down it dropped, all the way to his tummy And landed on a pile of books and honey. Before you could say “Knowledge for tea!” The flames had spread all the way to his knees. “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” The Giant cried As he hopped all the way to the seaside. Then, in he went, head first with a splash; Gone were the Giant and the flames, in a flash. The old lady sat alone Close to her fire, warmed to the bone. She gave the logs a gentle poke, And over the hills, glimpsed a cloud of smoke.
“His hunger for knowledge was far too great to leave any crumb off his worldwide plate” (Illustration by Amelia Storey).
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Romance behind a screen (Credit: Markus Winkler, Unsplash)
Love in the Time of Corona Back to Basics Anonymous The pandemic has irrevocably advanced the digital age: Zoom parties have become a staple fixture in our weekend plans. However, when it comes to dating, there is something very archaic about how we are having to navigate our love lives. After just one brief in-person date in early March, I began a seven-month-long involvement with another woman — five months of which were long distance. The situation was so uncertain; I didn’t know when I would see her again, or if she was even a good kisser. And yet I became very invested, as if we had been meeting up every weekend. With the physical element of dating removed entirely, I realised how important it is to me, but also how much even an innocent touch can fast-track a relationship. In lieu of this, I suddenly found myself getting more creative. We made a shared Spotify playlist, sent 7 minute voice notes and made each other video diaries. We invested more time in getting to know each other. By the time she was back in the country with lockdown restrictions eased, I already felt committed. Previously, I’d joked about the excessive amount of lesbian period dramas, and yet somehow, amidst all this tech communication, I had entered into a Victorian style of courtship myself. Unfortunately, her circumstances changed, and COVID made it too difficult to sustain a long distance relationship indefinitely. But I certainly learned something. I experienced a flash of that romance that I’d often wished for in my cinema-induced nostalgia. It makes me think that perhaps we all need to stop and smell the roses more when dating, instead of hurrying to swipe and meet up with our next “match”.
A Tinder Success Story Anonymous I like to think I’m a bit of a Tinder expert. Whenever I decide to start dating again, I find someone I click with within my first few swipes. This May was no different - apart from the fact that we were in a pandemic. Usually, I’m not one for waiting. One conversation to make sure they’re not a complete weirdo and then I’ll suggest we meet for a drink. Within 5 minutes of meeting them, I usually know if I’m game. But this time round, both stuck quarantining in our parents’ houses, we were unable to meet for a month. And during those four weeks of yearning I grew concerned it would be weird when we finally did meet - that there would be no chemistry, or that his sharp wit required the thinking time that texting allows. You can get away with a lot more when you’re hiding behind the screen. Without the distractions of external activities, we dove deep into our psyches, asking questions that required pure emotional vulnerability. I found myself confessing to this stranger my hopes and fears, my insecurities and flaws, the things that make me who I am. We were having some of the most emotionally intense conversations I’d ever had and I was learning so much about him and even about myself, and yet we still hadn’t met. Luckily, when we did finally meet there was no awkwardness that might have been expected. It’s been strange getting to know someone completely isolated from the outside world. But, months later, I’m happy to say I’m still entirely entertained and enamoured by this man in his purest form. No distractions needed.
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