Social Fabric Volume One – Communication by Social Fabric

CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE EVERYDAY. UNFILTERED, UNEDITED, ANONYMOUS.

ISSUE ONE COMMUNICATION SUMMER 2017 Â£10.00

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social fabric volume one All the content is anonymous, unfiltered and unedited. It is all about the preservation of the every day. The things which pass by unnoticed, the things some people even forget. The publication comes out when it comes out; there is no fixed date, it is more special this way. This volume focuses on communication in generalâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;possibly the largest aspect of day to day life which contributes to society. In an age where we claim to be more social than ever, are we, are you? More and more people are living behind a screen, not truly living in the real world. Make some time, sit back, turn off your electrical devices and enjoy the conversations.

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08.15 Painkillers & Alcohol

18.21 First

40.43 The Pips

46.49 Ultrasonic Vibro Machines

62.67 Swoons

86.91 Alien Economy 80.83 Trust

34.37 Mind Blown

24.31 Terrible

52.59 Religious Ignorance

70.77 The State Of It

94.95 Volume Two

96.96 Notes & Credits v. 1.

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A BROAD RANGE OF SOCIETY WERE ASKED QUESTIONS REGARDING COMMUNITY AND COMMUNICATION â&#x20AC;&#x201D; THE RESULTS ARE DOCUMENTED THROUGHOUT THIS PUBLICATION

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& alcohol

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0.1 Yeah so its 100% markup then, I gathered that. 0.2 Easily,

I used to have Sulfodene, so, I have pain killers all the time, but if don’t take anything then I struggle to get out of bed, everything just aches. And all I got to do like, is take a couple of Ibuprofen and I have emergency Sulfodene, yeah well err, it was five, nine, nine, so it was six quid, I think it was. The same one, nine quid! I think everything is pretty much double what it used to be, I think that’s how he does it. So is he just relying on the people that are really really desperate then is he? I think so, I think, if you think I’ve got to go down the road instead, I might as well get it.

easily. 0.1 ’cos you used to get a two pound fifty razor—and they were actually really good ones—the big blue ones and he got the cheaper ones which are really, he charged me four quid for them, I was like... 0.2 People have been coming in the shop and they say these are two quid dearer per pack. 0.1 Yeah, yeah. 0.2 But when the old guy was there we never had any of that. 0.1 No, no. 0.2 People never said they thought it was a rip-off or anything.

0.2 Yeah but actually I could afford to,

for that sort of money, I could afford to go down the road... 0.1 And pay for parking! 0.2 ...and pay for parking... 0.1 And get what you want! 0.2 That’s right, dead right. 0.1 I’m not, I’m not being, I’m not tight, but I mean that is just that is taking the piss! 0.3 There’s quite a few people that have said something about it this week int there? 0.2 That’s what I was saying, loads of people have been coming in all the time saying “I cant believe how expensive it is.”

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And the thing is he won’t, and the thing is, he wont get, umm… cos the Sulfodene, which is like the trade one, yeah and then there’s the fizzy one yeah which is exactly the same, is exactly the same as Sulfodene, um-hum which they recommend because it’s ever so slightly less addictive. Oh right. Work that one out, but it’s stronger but it’s less addictive, but I only ever take a couple anyway, I never take like six a day or whatever, you know what you’re allowed to take. So, so what do you take those first thing in the morning and then your done, it gets you going or? Yeah, it just takes, it gets into my system, so I have like four painkillers of any sort, but I always change them, I don’t take the same thing all the time. I’m on Ibuprofen at the moment, I was on Anadin Extra, it’s just enough. Yeah. ’cos otherwise I just hurt, all over, but it’s just enough to... What is that then, have you had it diagnosed? Everything.

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0.2 Yeah, but what is the problem? 0.1 Naaah, it was my car crash.

0.2 Oh right. 0.1 I get it all down my back and across my shoulders

I shot my right leg

and if I don’t take anything for about two weeks I... 0.2 Arthritis type stuff is it? 0.1 ...really, really, really struggle getting out of bed in the morning. I just generally hurt anyway, well shattered my left leg didn’t I completely. 0.3 Yeah. 0.2 Yeah I think knew that. 0.1 And I shot my right leg, shot right arm and I suffer with umm, umm, white finger syndrome, but it’s really weird, I don’t get it in the winter I get it in the summer, Yeah it’s bizarre as anything cos it’s a cold related thing the actual nerve damage.

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0.3

0.2

0.1

I can’t drink cider can I? No. No. Why not? 0.4

0.1

She gets very gobby. You’re very gobby? I don’t believe 0.1

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0.1

0.5

0.4

What’s in the stuff? Apples! Aaaples! Yeah, other

And it takes you about two days to come down off it!

0.5

the night before.

0.1

it? No. No, it looks like a bad night from the day after

0.4

coast goodness that is. It doesn’t look very local does

0.1

apples I do It’s quite, it’s quite natural. That’s north

0.5

fruit and veg cos it’s dangerous for you. I think it’s just

0.1

than that? Na, it’s the fruit and veg thing init, don’t eat

0.4

0.1

0.5

like that, and it takes me about. Yeah that’s about right.

it, but I talk Swahili after about eight pints or somthin’

0.3

hahaha. Yeah. Yeah, it is. I don’t know why? I love

0.3

that. It’s like drinking Stella int-it. Is it you’re Stella,

0.2

0.1

Because I’m not allowed too. Hahaha, not allowed too.

0.4

16% OF PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT

12% OF PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT

5% OF PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT

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WHAT WAS THE SUBJECT OF THE LAST CONVERSATION YOU HAD WITH A STRANGER? MORE RESULTS INCLUDED; Closing a door. Arctic adventure and travel. Living by the sea and what it is like in the winter. Teaching and jobs. Interest in fashion. Youth work. Quiz team. Similar interests in cars. If they were having a good day? Providing a service. The questionnaire for my degree. Vans. Buying a house. When I'm drunk and talking rubbish. Caravans. Buying tyres and another car blowing black smoke. Beer. Rugby. Traffic. Green bananas. Flooding. Recommendations for days out. The local area and the cheese on sale in the deli. Roadworks. The gym. Muddy woods. Life story or peoples problems. Compliments. Work. Teaching. Where we come from. The places we have visited. Coffee machines. Walks. Planes. Holiday locations. The reason for purchasing a gift. Life. Business enquiry. Football. Books. The view. Sugar in drinks. Coins. Small talk. Tarot readings. Introductions. Social and political matters. Art. Fan theories of TV shows. Scooters. Babies. Health. Live and local music. School. Summer. Swimming. New language. Quotes. Illness. A boat. Coursework. Renovation. Location. An event. Products in shops. v. 1.

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I’ve lost my breath. Have you? Yeah, uum, we came from the beach and we went, urh, that way and urh, umm, granny went over the bridge part and I went like the other way...Ah, to see who got here first...and I got here first. Well done. Apparently... But now you're out of breath ...you went the long way, yeah. I went the long way and I, and I, and granny wasn’t there, but I thought that she went in the shop. I thought he was going to sneak up behind me, but you didn’t. She thought that...

...chocolate

chocolate

chocolate chocolate please ?

Put, put, don’t touch them. I don't know exactly if that’s good for you. Ah, but he did win the race. Yeah, and now grannie’s out of money, you're spending all my money on rubbish to rot your teeth. v. 1.

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DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR COMMUNITY?

4% OF PEOPLE LIVING IN MORE RURAL COMMUNITIES THAT SAID THEY DIDN’T

11% OF PEOPLE LIVING IN MORE URBAN COMMUNITIES THAT SAID THEY DIDN’T v. 1.

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s.f. 0.1 You managed to get a fair old bit of paint on your hands today,

emulsion I hope? 0.2 Yeah, weather shield. 0.1 Oh right. 0.2 I’ve been, I’ve been using the paint to its full abilities. I’m using a five litre pot as my kettle. So what happens is your brush gets… 0.1 Yeah. 0.2 Done ummmm, about three hundred and fifty meters of stonework in just over two days. 0.1 Where’s that? 0.2 Out John Smith’s place. 0.1 Oh right. 0.2 Smashed it to bits, well I said six days but the amount of time I’ve actually been there, I’ve been there about, eighteen hours or something. It’s all high work, I’ve done some undercoat and gloss as well, so… 0.1 Busy boy.

I love it though. Being on site, externals you do, two of us, five and a half a day, three to four bedroom houses. It’s what you do, it’s what you do isn’t it? So easy int it? Yeah, what just masonry. Yeah just masonry. Big giant rollers and stuff like that? Nah, only nine inch, keep it simple. Oh right. Shaggy haired one. I did a gabled end in the front and a little bit of doggy stuff that you couldn’t see, it was all rotten, really little bits and that. And that was like about, ten, forty, sixty, eighty, twenty, twenty, that was over two hundred square meters on the first day. Well actually, I probably did more than that then. So, I’ve gone down, right down the flank of one side, then I’ve gone round the front as well, so.

0.3 Is this John’s house? 0.2 Yeah, six bedrooms, big old garden. 0.1 Split it in half hasn’t he, is that right? But you’re doing the

whole thing? 0.2 Yeah, I’m doing the whole thing. But originally he said it was all scaffolded, and I was like, ’cos I thought, see I prefer it without scaffolding on the low stuff, ’cos you’ve got four meter reach on me extending pole. 0.1 Yeah, you’re big stick. 0.2 And all that does is it makes it hard work, standing there. 0.1 Going around and yeah. 0.2 I mean, scaffolding was put up to paint, so, but, it’s worth it, but. Love painting, love painting. Sad int it? 0.1 No, if you like it, it’s great. 0.2 There is one side...shouldn’t be telling you this. I did a lot of spec building, this is where you get your speed from, ’cos you need to be able to knock it out really, really quick. And you can’t go back, to snag it, ’cos you put two days on to snag, a full house, five bedroom house. And if you, if you do it right first time, but leave easy things which the person who snags wont find, you know, shhush, you’ll be out of the place in a couple of hours. And half the time they don’t find the stuff anyway. You just do that anyway. 0.3 I don’t mind painting as long as it’s not white. I hate painting white.

White on white is hard work isn’t it. You’ve just got to look for the shiny bits haven’t you. And you’ve also got to be, very, I don’t know what the word is, very systematic, so you sort of do an area at a time, you know some people paint like this don’t they [waves hands] You got to make sure you, you know where you’ve been do-do. Internals you paint from the window. The window’s there and you paint from that side, then you come across, like, ceiling, along the wall. That way you can look back and see the light. On externals, I mean, I’m a right handed, a right handed roller, but I can go both ways, it doesn’t really matter, but you start with, you start with, you work into the sun, nah, you work away from the sun. Where the sun is, ’cos then you get the shine of it. v. 1.

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0.2 Especially like colour on colour, its all technical. 0.1 If you’re

cutting in woodwork right, and you’re right handed, are you right handed, or your left handed? 0.2 No, I can do it both ways. 0.1 Oh can you. But, naturally you must have a leaning to one? 0.2 No. 0.1 What do you write with? Right handed? 0.2 I’m right handed, but I can probably cut in better with my left hand than I can with my right. 0.1 I just, it’s just that, I’m, I’m right-handed and if I’m cutting in I like to go from right to left. 0.3 Yeah I go from right to left. 0.1 Yeah, but a lot, but if, but if you were doing it with your left hand would you go from left to right? Or would you do that way [right to left]. 0.2 Ummmn, oh, I don’t know, that’s a good question. 0.3 I think I’d go left to right regardless. 0.1 Would you? 0.2 Both hands, I’d go the same way. 0.1 I don’t get that.

0.1

No see what, because I change. So what I do is, I do ummmmn. I got, the only difference between my right hand and left hand is, right hand has got a longer reach. Because, I can be up a ladder doing externals, I’ll lean out, but I cant, I cant lean on that leg. Oh right. 0.2

0.1

So I can only go as far as, like a meter. I can stretch a little bit, but I wont go any further ’cos I wont balance. You’ll fall off. 0.2

0.1

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Yeah but what I do is, not so much with externals, but internals, start in a different place in the room, you normally start by the door and go vrrooooom, well, I don’t go up a ladder, I use a roller, don’t even go up the ladder. I only go up the ladder to cut the wall in, it all, its cheatin’, it’s not cheatin’ it’s cheats, but that’s what it’s like if you’ve been doing it for twenty years.

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0.3 Do you do the woodwork first or the woodwork second? 0.2 Depends if the woodwork needs doing? 0.1 If you’re doing

everything, you’re painting the whole room, do you do the woodwork first or second? 0.2 Smack all your walls in first. 0.3 Yeah, because some people say they do it different ways 0.2 No, do all your walls first, ceiling, undercoat your skirtings, second coat ceiling, second coat walls, cutting in, gloss out, jobs done. And that’s it, it’s sooo simple really.

So many people make a lash up of painting. Well I know a couple. Your been down the road recently? No, no, I haven’t been down the road for a while. You remember that house, can’t remember what it’s called, on the left. You’re not talking about dip-shit? The one in the vest? Onslow! You need to go and have a look.

0.3 I think there’s more paint on the floor int there than there

is on the wall. I liked the fact that when they were doing the windows, they painted everything, then they did the windows and instead of actually like going to the edge of the frame they just went back over the wall that they painted, so there’s now blue all around the edge and outside of the window. 0.1 Someone’s been, I think they’ve been round and touched it up and put some silicon round it to neaten it all up a bit. Just go and look at the paint, it just awful, I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. 0.3 What’s with the black line, there’s a downpipes that goes down and the downpipe is painted white and the bit around the downpipe is painted white, so the black line doesn’t go over the downpipe, it’s like it stops and starts the other side of it. 0.1 Does it? I missed that. The windows though, they didn’t even rub them down properly, if you look at it, it’s just awful. 0.2 No, I know which one you’re on about, and yes I do. 0.1 Terrible.

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dudu dud dudu dud dudu dud duuuuuu d d d d du All this time I’ve been thinking a panther, Pink Panther. Like a panther isn’t even real and it’s called Pink Panther. But it’s called Pink Panther. Is Pink Panther a film? Pink Panther is like a cartoon, but a panther’s not an animal. So how is there a Pink Panther, if panthers aren’t even real? ‘cos its not a real film. Obviously, but, I don’t know, it should have been a pink leopard, umm, pink jaguar, pink tiger, pink lion. Panthers don’t even exist, that’s nuts. I used to love Pink Panther. [Hums theme tune] Yeah, that’s nuts, my whole life, that’s actually nuts, I might need to tell Twitter about it, do you know panthers aren’t even real? It’s crazy! What else did I find out the other day, and I was like, my life isn’t right, oh, jacuzzis. Do you know that a jacuzzi’s not actually called a jacuzzi? Jacuzzi is the name of the brand. Did you guys know that?

du du du du uuuu u

0.2 I didn’t know that no. 0.1 Nuts, blew my mind. They’re actually

called hot tubs, they’re not called jacuzzis. Hot tubs. 0.2 Makes sense. 0.1 Yeah, Jacuzzis’ the name of the brand and because the brand is so big every just calls it a Jacuzzi. 0.3 It’s like, it’s like Hoover. 0.1 Yeah, yeah, Hoover. 0.3 They’re vacuum cleaners, they’re not hoovers. 0.1 They’re not called hoovers. 0.3 Hoover is the brand. 0.2 Really? I’ve always called it a hoover. 0.1 That’s what I’m saying like, it’s nuts, it blew my mind. 0.2 But I’ve always called it a hot-tub. 0.1 Oh no, I’ve always called it a Jacuzzi. 0.3 Yeah see my Nan, my Nan’s got one in her bathroom. 0.1 In her bathroom? 0.3 Yeah, but that’s not a hot-tub. It’s not like a hot-tub like you see outside, it’s just like a bath with, that’s got jets in it and we’ve always called that a jacuzzi. 0.1 Yeah, but it’s not. 0.3 It’s not a branded Jacuzzi so...0.1 It’s nuts, when I found it out, I was like mind blown. Mad. 0.2 You should Tweet to them… 0.1 I actually found it out on Twitter and I was like whoa...wow, you learn something new everyday.

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WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU DIDNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T KNOW? 38

30% CLAIM IT WAS LONGER THAN A WEEK AGO 2% CLAIM TO NEVER HAVE HAD ONE v. 1.

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Remember there used to be an old red phone box around here. We used to call mum from it every night when we were on holiday. God, phone boxes. Remember how you used to put money in and then the pips, the pips, you had to rush a goodbye. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not like that these days, you take it for granted. Do you remember we used to queue for... there it is, oh my god they still have it! Wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be long before they take it away...

what a shame that will be.

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13 IN

PEOPLE DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T SPEAK TO FRIENDS OR FAMILY ON THE TELEPHONE

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ultras vibro mach

sonic o hines v. 1.

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Hello, Hello, hello, alright? 48

Yes, I’m good thank you, ? how is your husband , was slightly getting better. Ummm

That’s good.

Exactly, who knows.

But then yesterday, he said oh god it really hurts again,

so it’s gone down hill again.

But I think it’s to do with his contusion, and I think muscles are starved of oxygen, which is cramping on to the sciatic nerve and that’s causing the problem. So I splashed out yesterday on one of those

ultrasonic vibro machines.

Eighty-nine quid.Yeah?

I told him and I thought he’d say “oh, that’s really great” but no, he said ah, right. They’re supposed to be good aren’t they those? They’re supposed to be fantastic, I mean they use them in medical centres and things,

so they have to be good.

And well see what happens.

’cos you know,

Yeah, good.

he tells the doctors, yeah I think it’s slightly better,

so they do nothing.

Fingers crossed. But I reckon it’s the umm, folic acid.

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58 THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE THAT CANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME THEY SENT OR RECEIVED A LETTER

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THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE THAT CLAIM TO HAVE NEVER SENT OR RECEIVED A LETTER v. 1.

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religious ignorance

We need to

brush up on it don't we?

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0.1 We need to brush up on it don't we. Last Sunday was

Plam Sunday is that right? 0.2 No idea. 0.1 No, neither have we. 0.2 So, lent then, so you give what, you give up stuff for lent though don't you so that’s the start of something is that not when. 0.1 That’s lent, that’s lent. 0.2 I know but, so what was lent originally, what was the start of that? 0.1 It was for using up all of your. 0.2 Yeah, but why? 0.1 Then you give up something for lent. 0.2 Yeah but why? I thought that was, was that not when he was crucified. 0.1 No he was crucified today, come on! 0.3 I didn't know that. 0.1 Good Friday, and then he was resurrected on Sunday. 0.2 I know he was resurrected on Sunday, but, so what’s good about dying? God Friday? 0.1 God Friday, Good Friday. We’re googling why Good Friday is called Good Friday, like you do, like you do every Easter, every Easter we forget. 0.4 What you really need is some customers.

What’s passover, what’s the passover then? And it’s not a road flying over London! No that’s some thing to do with lent as well isn’t it? End of lent is passover. That’s when his spirit passed over isn’t it? No, that’s the resurrection. We’re all heathens aren’t we?!

When you

google, you just a want

0.2 Well have to go down the chapel and ask then. 0.3 You could

probably as one of them and they wouldn’t be able to tell you.0.1 I was relying on you to know, you’ve let me down. 0.2 You telling me you’ve been googling it and you haven’t been able to find the answer? 0.1 Its rubbish isn’t it, well there’s conflict isn’t there, one says one thing, one says another. When you google you just want a definitive answer don’t you. 0.4 Have you looked at Wikipedia? 0.2 I was going to say, what did Wikipedia say? 0.1 I can edit, well I can edit Wikipedia, anyone can. 0.4 Put in the answer you want. 0.2 Yeah. 0.1 I did edit it once, do you remember? 0.2 Yeah.

definitive

answer

She’ll know. What will I know? You’ve got a book in your pocket! Yeah, but why is good Friday called good Friday? Because it’s a good day. Because you’re off work. But it’s a good day, go on, have you googled it? What are you today, Mastermind? What’s Lent? When you go and lend somebody something. Other than the fact that you use, you use everything up in your cupboard, but why do you use everything up in your cupboard? ‘cos you're hungry. ‘cos you're giving it up, for penance. No but for what, why for forty days before. Is there no significant with that amount of days? Have you found God or something?

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0.3 What time did he get crucified? 0.1 Don’t they still do it

somewhere? Don’t they re-enact it? 0.2 What crucify someone? 0.1 Yeah, some nutter will be nailed to a cross today. 0.2 I thought he was there for ages? I reckon it happened on lent. 0.1 It didn’t. 0.2 Yeah and they left him up. 0.3 Did he just die because he was just hanging there, I cant remember? What did they do to him? 0.2 Hang on, so he died on the Friday? So what day was he hung on, not hung, crucified? 0.1 Today! 0.2 Wait he was crucified, but they left him up there for ages didn't they? 0.1 It was a day. 0.2 What and then they put him in his cave with a rolling stone. 0.1 Yeah. 0.3 Do you think it was all real?

We need to change the conversation. No, we need to find an answer. Who knows? Yes, I think it did. But I don’t think he was the son of god. So why did they go inside to get him out? He vanished. But how did they know? He was in a sealed tomb. Is this not doing you’re head in? Can’t you talk about something else? We’re laughing, that’s the worst of it, we’re laughing, we’re blasphemers!

0.3 Who’s the most religious person you know? 0.1 I don’t know

people, say they're religious and they’re not are they? 0.2 Yeah. 0.3 Whos the Vicar? 0.1 The Vicars on Twitter, he’s just followed us. Whats the Vicar called, he’s just followed us. 0.6 I don’t know, he did, but I don’t know, I cant think what his name is. 0.3 Oh, trendy vicar. 0.1 He’s down with the social media.

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THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE THAT USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON A DAILY BASIS

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“So you’d smell like coffee?”

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s.f. 0.1

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0.1

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0.1

If you could blend you’re own aftershave, what would it contain? So you need to think about this one, because it’s like designing for a client, it’s not what you want, it’s what the other people would want. The people who are smelling you? If I wanted to smell of bacon and I come into a room full of vegans, it would not be good. I don’t know though, because they say don’t they that vegetarians like, bacon is the one smell that can tempt them. True. So I’ve got to think who do I want too attract and who do I want to please. I’ve got to look at the smells that they like. So, the smells they would like would be, would be... No stereotyping going on here. No, because its like personal to me, so it cant be stereotypes. It would be a blend of Starbucks. So you’d smell like coffee?

0.2 With, yeah ’cos Starbucks is quite a, yeah a strong taste

and then you need a bit of a sweet taste to go with it. Sweet, what do they like that sweet? 0.1 There’s the obvious one, like chocolate or something. 0.2 No, because there’s already chocolate ones out there and they don’t smell that nice, like Dark Temptation. Although, the other day my mother said I smelt nice, when I had Lynx Africa on. 0.1 Lynx Africa is the worst smell on the planet. 0.2 That’s your opinion. 0.1 Do you know they actually blend that to make it smell like B.O. ’cos women are meant to be attracted to the smell of a man’s Body Odours. 0.3 They are.

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If it’s fresh I think, when it’s fresh. It’s scientifically proven. So that’s why umm, Lynx, like when I was younger my Dad always used to say to me like, you stink like you’ve got like B.O. I’ve got it! A lot of cars have the jelly bean umm, air freshener. Yeah. I’d have jelly bean air freshener, the smell… What, what, Which flavour though? The smell of Cherry jelly bean with Starbucks. So like a coffee cherry smell? Umm hum. And you’re obviously trying to attract a woman with this? Umm, that would work. Yeah? Yeah. What do you reckon you’d call it? Chofftie. Chofftie?! Why Chofftie? Choffee.

0.1 Choffee, so like a mix of cherry and coffee? 0.2 Umm...yeah! 0.1 You wouldn’t call it like, Eau De… 0.2 Well it sounds better

than Kerry, I’m wearing Kerry. Could call it Katona, get Kerry Katona involved. 0.1 Kerry Katona? 0.2 Well she’s not doing much is she? I’m sure she’ll be happy to get involved with that. Coffee and cherry, yeah she’d love that. 0.1 What so, what would the advert be like, you spraying it on and Kerry Katona comes a like swoons over you? 0.2 Kerry Katona, she’s quite in your face and loud isn’t she, so she’ll be right up to the camera going, [Changes voice to mimic Kerry Katona] Buy my new fragrance . 0.1 But then if its for you? 0.2 Yeah, if its for men, Kerry Katona will not be in it if it’s for men, she can be in the background. Umm, we’ll just get like you know, the typical shot of the bottle, with like man spraying it and then women appearing from anywhere, and then…0.1 Ripping Lynx off essentially? 0.2 and then they like get close and about to kiss and they look in the camera and then it’s like KATONA! v. 1.

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THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE THAT CLAIM TO VALUE THEIR OWN DIGITAL EXPERIENCES ONE QUARTER DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T LOOK BACK AT THEM

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The State Of It 0.1 I don’t like any of them, I don’t know what I’m talking about,

I don’t know why I moan. 0.2 Yeah. 0.1 I think that’s the problem. 0.2 Well its going to be a landslide int it. 0.1 No, not necessarily. 0.3 I think well… 0.4 Do you think so? 0.3 I think Labour are going 70

to lose big time. 0.1 I think the Labour, the Labour Party needs to change doesn’t it. 0.2 Yeah. 0.1 And Jeremy Corbin is rubbish. 0.2 I think a lot of their points, yeah. 0.4 Don’t you like Jeremy? 0.3 I think, I think Corbin needs to head up the Greens.0.1 Probably. 0.4 I like him. 0.3 I think he should head up the Greens. 0.2 Yeah. 0.4 Yeah. 0.2 I think a lot, I agree with a lot of his principles. 0.4 So do I. 0.1 That’s what they call him, they call him the theoretical politician, because in theory it’s all lovely, but, it doesn’t, he’s got no back-up. 0.4 No back-up. 0.1 He doesn’t how to make it work. 0.4 No, no, I agree there. 0.1 And he does wind me up.

0.3 It’s because he’s a socialist isn’t it essentially. And socialism,

socialism doesn’t… 0.1 He’s a Communist. 0.3 Well, it’s swings and roundabouts really. 0.4 Is he? I hope not. 0.2 I wouldn’t vote for him. 0.1 He’s ruined the labour party hasn’t he. 0.2 He has yeah. 0.3 I think, I think that was his thing. Perhaps he went in there to ruin the Labour Party. 0.1 We think they’ll, we’ll see the emergence of a new party. 0.5 I think he is, I think he is proper Labour, that’s the thing and people don’t that anymore. 0.1 Well no, ’cos in the papers it said um, taking us back to the

seventies and I was asked by someone the other day, what do you remember of the seventies? And I said well I was only up to the age of, in my early years. I said I can remember Arthur Scargill and striking. 0.4 Oh yeah. 0.1 And, and I can remember the strikes, power cuts, rubbish and the hardship too. 0.2 Yeah.

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And he said “what do you mean hardship?” And I said well I can remember Mum moaning about the price of oil. Yeah. And filling the pet...oil tank. He’s going to vote Conservative for the first time in his life. What was he before, Labour? Labour. Yeah, well I’ve always, I’ve always voted Greens actually. But in my heart of hearts I always wanted to vote Labour, but I knew it was a waste of time. Have you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve always voted Labour, because in the old days they were all about the working classes. But it’s changed. I wouldn’t vote for them now. The unions did have far too much power. Yeah. That was the trouble. I mean, well they’ve done a lot of good. You know, the principles were right at the time. But it doesn’t apply any more. I would be a liberal, but I don’t like that Farron bloke. Yeah, my Mum was a liberal. So was my Dad. And my Dad was Labour. I was just telling Mum that he told me he’s voting Conservative for the first time in his life. My god. Because he thinks that she’s the women to steer us and negotiate us through Brexit. I think she’s good. He can’t see anybody else doing that. It’s going to be a tough job isn’t it. I think it’ll be easier than what’s being portrayed. Do you? We’ve got a hell of a debt to pay though haven’t we. Actually do you know that’s not actually legally binding. Yeah I’ve heard that as well. 0.1

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s.f. 0.1 Yeah. 0.2 Isn’t it? 0.1 Yeah, and that’s actually come from

the European, urm, I don’t know, the European Parli...the European something or other. There’s no way they can make us actually pay anything at all. And what we do pay will be us giving a gesture. But we don’t have to. 0.2 We’re really upsetting the other, you know, I think they’re all, a lot of them are nasty aren’t they. 0.5 They are, but I think a lot of it is…0.1 They’ve relied on us for too long. 0.5 I think they’re, I think they’re a bit jealous as well, because I think deep down quite a lot would like to leave too. 0.1 Well look at what he was telling me the other day, whatever you think of him and his politics, but he’s right on Europe, he said you know, when we joined the common market it was nothing about governing bodies, it was all about trade and he said what Europe is now is just not what anybody wanted to be part of. He said do we want a federal states of Europe?

No we don’t! No we don’t. He wanted to come out did he? Yeah. Well we’ll have to just wait and see what happens wont we. I think it’ll be alright. And he was quite good, he said, so what? And I said you’re alright, you’re seventy seven and you don’t have to worry about it because there are youngsters… you don’t have to worry about it because you’re in a comfortable position. So what if we have to go, if we have to endure a five year period of hardship, if it’s going to be better at the end of it. And he said you think nobody really suffers hardship, not this last three decades, not like there has been in the past. He said it wont hurt anybody. And he said it only benefits the super rich, Europe. And I though, and he was saying to me, do you think that for everything that’s gone on in the world and all of this nice seeing this that and the other, that we live in a better world than we did thirty years ago. ’cos he said in my mind we live in a far worse world, he said poverty is far worse, the super rich are super richer.

That’s true isn’t it. There’s people that are starving everyday, and that’s what upsets him. Famine in the Yemen and the, he said that really distresses him. He said it’s far, far worse, so he said where can you tell me that all this, these liberal elites that are complaining about the way the world is, how people are voting, how can they stand there and defend what the world is like at the moment saying its a good place, ’cos he said it isn’t. But people have changed, people want, they want something for nothing all the time now don’t they.

0.5 Yeah, yeah they do. 0.4 So what politics is he really? 0.1

He’s Labour really. 0.4 Is he be damned? 0.1 But this time he’s voting Conservative. Conservative in this election. Because he thinks she’s the right person to steer us through the next few years. 0.4 Oh, he does like her? 0.1 I wouldn’t say that he necessarily likes her 0.3 Everyone knows there’s no point voting UKIP now don’t they. 0.5 Oh yeah, UKIPs dead and buried now isn’t it 0.4 Yeah. 0.3 And they all voted UKIP last time didn’t they. 0.5 And Labour, you wouldn’t vote Labour now would you, really realistically. 0.1 I think that was demonstrated in the local elections. 0.4 You can say they won’t, but I bet they will. 0.1 But even in the north, you know, they lost loads of seats

didn’t they. So people aren’t happy about something are they? 0.3 Did you see that thing, that [Theresa] May’s purposefully

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Well they don’t need to do they. 0.3 And they reckon they might actually turn some of them. 0.2 I think it’s all down to Jeremy Corbin actually, a lot of it, because people don’t like him do they. 0.1 Well the unions like him don’t they, ’cos he’s a, he’s a puppet 0.2 Not that they’ll ever get in, but they’re going to renationalise the railways and everything else and their big thing is the NHS isn’t it, where they keep on about how bad that’s become. 0.1 Yeah, which is good, but they don’t have it full up with how they’re gunna finance it themselves do they. 0.2 Well we’ll have to see in his manifesto. 0.1 They have a woolly economic policy don’t they. Liberal Democrats policy is probably the best, where everyone pays a penny extra in income tax and it raises revenue that’s six billion pounds instantly. 0.2 But the thing is with the NHS, a lot of people go to A and E now with flipping colds and sore throats. 0.5 I know! It’s stupid isn’t it. 0.2 That’s a lot of the trouble int it. I mean, I mean A&E is accident and emergency, a bloody cold isn’t an emergency is it! 0.1

0.5 There should be, I don’t know if there’s some kind of triage

thing, but they should say clear off, you don’t even come in here, you’re wasting our time. 0.2 Yeah. 0.5 Go to the chemist. It’s stupid. 0.2 I mean they dish out pills, now at the doctors surgery don’t they and it’s not necessary half the time. 0.1 I do believe, and I do believe with Theresa May that like this, you know, every walk of society working unsocial… the working week has changed hasn’t it, everything is twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. And I do think doctors need to, need to buy into that as well. 0.5 I think they do yeah. 0.1 They need to be more accessible don’t they. And you can

go to the doctors surgery down the road, and oh yeah they all love it because ten doctors in in the morning ’cos they all want to work the morning and go home and that’s it done for the day. Well they need to stagger it don’t they. 0.3 It’s like I said though, with this thing yesterday, this thing with the NHS yesterday, you know the hack. They’re saying that it’s going to put the NHS behind for weeks, but why didn’t, why didn’t they just all go in at the weekend.

0.1 Well god forbid, it’s the weekend. 0.2 I think the National Health Service

is on the way out personally. 0.3 They’ve got, that’s an easy win there, you go for an extra day to catch up, like you would in any other job. 0.5 It’s difficult isn’t it, what about the people can’t afford private insurance? 0.1 Well there needs to be a better National Health Service, well there needs to be means test, well… 0.5 But then why should some get it and other not? 0.3 I don’t think it should be free. 0.1 Well we still, whatever people think of our National Health Service, it’s still the best in the world. It is though isn’t it. 0.5 But I don’t think its just a case of chucking money at it, there’s, it’s fundamentally wrong. 0.2 Yeah, it’s wrong yeah. 0.1 It’s managed badly. 0.5 Apparently we’re spending more money on it now than we’ve ever spent, yet it still doesn’t work. So… 0.2 But people expect so much these days don’t they.

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Well you’ve only got to watch that programme don’t you, those programmes on the tele, where people go into the doctors surgeries [Sniffs] can I have some antibiotics please. No you can’t, and they get really irate don’t they. They think it’s their right. That guy went into the surgery, he went into the practice and said he would take x amount of patients that just walk in. And he was trying to deal with them, wasn’t he, an they’re just, and he said I just can’t believe how patients just walk in and they want an antibiotic. And they haven’t even got anything an antibiotic will work for. People just like taking pills don’t they. Look at what they were talking about this week in the papers, oh there’s a broccoli pill, a broccoli pill that’s gunna cure high blood pressure, it’s instead of Statins, but, so why don’t people eat a piece of broccoli. No they don’t want to do that, they’ll take a broccoli pill instead, it’s ridiculous isn’t it. People will go to the doctors and they’ll get high blood pressure, they’ll be diagnosed with high blood pressure, they haven’t gone for that, but you have it routinely done, and rather than doctors saying, right lets talk about you’re lifestyle, this that and the other, what are you doing and blah-de-blah-de-blah. They just put you on them straight away, whereas they should be saying, go home, just, I don’t know, drink one pint of beer less a week and walk round the block for ten minutes. Do you know what I mean, and come back in a month and we’ll see what you’re like then.

0.3 What I think they should do is

take away free prescriptions. Or, charge more for drugs. ’cos then people aren’t going to want to pay for it. Fair enough go and get a free consultation, but that might stop people going in and asking for antibiotics all the time. 0.5 But then it’s going to be the poor that lose out if you do need something and they can’t afford it. 0.1 You’re never going to solve it. Because, think about it, it’s the poor that are the problem. This is going to come over badly.

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Survival of the fittest. It’s the poor that will drink more, it’s the poor that will smoke more, so the poor are on, well they’re on benefits aren’t they, so they go in and they get this, they’re just not educated. Did you see that benefits programme. I don’t ever watch benefits programmes. It was ridiculous, there was a girl who, urm, she booked a holiday, something like ten months before she was going away and she was paying it off using her benefits every week to pay off the holiday. It was a thousand pound holiday! A thousand? A thousand pound holiday and she’s using her benefits to pay it off. Why should you get benefits to do that? But the thing is, what, I suppose, well from an equal rights point of view, who are we to say yes you can’t get a job and you’re out of work and you’re on a benefit, who are we to say you can’t have a cigarette, you cant have a drink, because you’re on a benefit, you can’t say that can you. You can’t deprive people... But you’re on benefits to survive, to live. Yeah...but... They should just have food token instead! You can’t do that. I know what you’re saying because I do agree with you to a degree, but on the flip side of that you can’t, who’s right is it to say you’re not at work, you can’t have a beer. Ok then, I’ll never work a day again for the rest of my life and I’ll sponge off the system instead. ’cos I’d rather do that, I’d rather not work. Where do you start? 0.1

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35 IN

PEOPLE STRUGGLE TO INTERPRET THE TONE OF DIGITAL COMMUNICATION

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0.1H i

, y o u a l r i g h t ? 0.2Ve r y g o o d m a t e , h o w a r e y o u ? 0.1N o t t o b a d . 0.2We l l d o n e . G o t y o u r l u n c h i n y o u r h a n d s t h e r e ? 0 . 1 Ye a h . 0 . 2 Yo u h a v i n g a b u s y d a y ? 0 . 1 Ye a h . 0 . 2 Yo u d o n ’ t s o u n d s o p l e a s e d a b o u t t h a t ? 0.1U m m , I ’ m w o r k i n g a t b l o o d y u r m m , o l d m a n S m i t h s ! 0.2O h y e a h ? 0.1H i s p l a c e d o w n b y t h e p u b . 0.2O h y e s , y e a h , I k n o w, y e a h . 0.1B u t , h e j u s t s i t s in a chair four foot from where you’re working. 0 . 2 W h a t , j u s t s t a r i n g a t y o u ? 0 . 1 Ye a h , y e a h , j u s t s t a r i n g . 0.2M a k i n g s u r e y o u ’ r e d o i n g i t r i g h t ! 0.1A n d t h e n , a n d i t ’ s l i ke , a n d t h e n y o u m o v e on to the next fitting and he shuffles his chair a l o n g . 0.2Th a t ’ s n o t g o o d 0.1I t ’ s n o t . 0.2Th a t ’ s q u i t e o f f p u t t i n g . 0.1N o t t h e b e s t . 0.2I b e t . 0.1A n d w h e n h e t a l k s h e r e p e a t s h i m s e l f, i t m u s t b e a t l e a s t t h r e e t i m e s . 0 . 2 Yo u ’ l l b e g l a d w h e n i t ’ s o v e r t h e n ? 0 . 1 Ye a h ! B e t t e r b e o f f , s e e y o u l a t e r . 0 . 2 S e e y o u later mat e.

four foot from where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re working v. 1.

76 THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE THAT USE THE INTERNET AND TELEVISION AS THEIR MAIN SOURCE OF INFORMATION

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65 THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE THAT WOULD RATHER USE A TANGIBLE METHOD SUCH AS CONVERSATION OR PRINTED PUBLICATIONS

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0.1 What about the other end of it? What about the elite? 0.2 The

So what else would you do? With the money? This is where it gets quite difficult; we just sorted out the economy, there’s money coming in, granted a lot of that money, in conspiracies is being stolen; and it’s going to the wrong people, and it’s going to other countries, and the people are getting annoyed at this. I believe they should go to other countries to help, but we should keep a tab on where the moneys actually going. But I also believe too much money is going to other countries, and we need to help our own before helping everyone else.

elites? 0.1 Yeah, they fund everything, pretty much everything don’t they, like they fund campaigns, and then...0.2 They also pay more tax than people who are like on minimum wage too. 0.1 So if you piss them off, it’s not going to do any favours for the economy is it? 0.2 It wouldn’t piss them off though. I’d make sure it’s all equal to everyone. Equality, that’s what Briton is all about, [Theresa] May doesn’t understand.

0.1 So where abouts would you

start helping our own? 0.2 To start with; the venerable, the disabled, the elderly and people who are ill, then I’d go to the homeless. Not give ’em money to get a home and everything like that, but I’d help fund their future. 0.1 What like a re-education thing? Finding them jobs or... 0.2 Finding them jobs, give ’em a roof over their head as long as they find themselves a job. Even if it’s literally just a hall with a mattress in it. Just something to keep them in the warm whilst they

try and find a job. 0.1 What about all the people that you’re going to piss off by doing that? 0.2 What, if they don’t like it? There’s many other countries in the world, get the hell out! Because that’s the right thing to do, that’s the morally right thing to do. At the end of the day we’re all human, I don’t believe in boarders. I think all boarders should be scrapped. There’ll be less war and violence if we could just hop over to Afghanistan, if we could hop over to Australia and if they could come here. 0.1 What, yeah but are you just talking for holidays or are you talking for like working? 0.2 Living, whatever, if there was no boarders there’d be less hostility. Granted people will die and there'll be conflict but yeah I don’t believe in boarders, I think it’s total horse shit! 0.1 Where would you go then, would you stay here in England? 0.2 I like Germany. They’ve got loads of nice cars and nice..

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down and think, what the fuck is going on?

But what if it’s full of people from somewhere else? I don’t care. Yeah but it might not be the same then. Granted it might not be the same, but hey, I’ve met loads of nice people from around the world and they’re all much friendlier than the people I’ve met in Briton! That’s the truth! So I was thinking about this the other day, and if you’re an alien looking down on earth, you’d think land and water. Humans live on the land, they go out to fish on the water. Surely they go to other countries, or other bits of land and they travel about? But, and then if you came in and just saw that actually you need a book with a picture of your face to get from country—or land—bit of land to bit of land and then you find out that two bits of land connected to each other are killing each other, you wouldn’t want to come here, you'd look 89

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0.1 That’s a good thing though if you don’t want the aliens to

that film, Independence Day and they’re just coming to kill us. 0.2 I haven’t seen that, but, but then again if aliens come to Earth there would be arguments on why did they go to America and not Russia? Why did they land in the UK? We demand we speak to them first, it would just be total utter bollocks! 0.1 They’d probably, well I guess they’d go to the areas with the bigger infrastructure wouldn’t they? 0.2 I don’t know, I guess it depends how advanced they are if it’s just one little guy plummeting out of the sky he’d end up in, I reckon he’d end up in, you know the deserts in America. They’ll corner that area off and call it area fifty one!

0.1 And your theory has come true. 0.2 And what happened

to that? They put them on a table and cut ’em open. See what I mean, don’t come to earth! 0.1 So you believe in aliens then? 0.2 I believe that, that if there’s life on earth there must be life on other planets. I don’t believe in the whole spinning spaceship crap though. I think it’s probably just an insect or, you know something like that, just crawling around out there on another planet. 0.1 Just a, what an insect or... 0.2 You know what I mean, just a creature. I don’t mean like a human talking, and people are like oh you... 0.1 There’s talking on this world, surely there could be humans talking on another? 0.2 You need water to live and all that, that’s the physics on this planet. But the physics might be different, you never know? 0.1 I think you can safely say there isn’t any life on Neptune. 0.2 How’d you know that? 0.1 Well you’d have thought they’d have a telescope, didn’t they have that probe, that went by didn’t it?

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Maybe on Neptune it’s...it might be underneath? Inside the planet? Yeah, you never know. Do you mean like Journey to the Centre of the Earth? The physics, no it can’t be like that, the physics could be different, that's what I’m saying. We don’t know too much about other planets.

come and attack! 0.2 I think that if there was aliens out there they would not come to earth because we wouldn’t greet them with open arms, we’d greet them with hostility, so I’m suggesting run mile! 0.1 Unless they’re like, it’s like,

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