11 OF THE WEIRDEST THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME AS A SOCIAL WORKER…

Social work is many things, but it’s never boring.

When I cast my mind back to studying for my social work degree, I never anticipated that my future career would involve so many weird, wonderful, heart-breaking, and obscure challenges. People can be so unpredictable, and in a vocation that is so hard to define, it’s no wonder that social workers are faced with a multitude of situations we could have never imagined in our wildest dreams...

1) BEING MISTAKEN FOR A JUNIOR DOCTOR ON A HOSPITAL WARD AND BEING USHERED INTO A SIDE ROOM WITH A DEAD BODY WHEN THE NURSE THOUGHT I WAS THERE TO CERTIFY THE DEATH.

This average day turned out to be way more horrifying than I was expecting. It turns out, there were two people with the same surname on the ward that day; my very much alive and well Mr X - who was awaiting my input to facilitate his discharge - and another Mr X who had unfortunately deceased that morning. The nurse found it hilarious when she realised. I almost fainted in shock at being confronted with a corpse.

2) GETTING A BACKSTAGE TOUR OF A MAIN UK AIRPORT AND BORDER CONTROL WHEN I WENT TO PICK UP A VULNERABLE PERSON.

My colleague and I were escorted by two handsome, burly men in suits around the airport so we got to experience what it must like to be a Hollywood A-list celebrity, with a private security detail. The only things missing was the paparazzi.

3) BEING CHASED ACROSS A CAR PARK BY AN ANGRY GOOSE.

The wild goose took a dislike to my presence as I walked from my car. I screamed and ran whilst it flapped and honked. It was very traumatic.

4) ARRIVING AT A HOME VISIT ONLY TO BE TOLD THAT THEIR PET TARANTULA HAD ESCAPED, SO “CHECK BEFORE YOU SIT DOWN.”

Fortunately, I never met the tarantula and managed to complete the visit before anything crawled up my trouser leg or made a nest in my bag.

5) LEARNING HOW TO ORGANISE AND RUN A CIVIL EMERGENCY REST CENTRE.

I might have been naive about this one, but I never realised that social work teams are the ones responsible for running and staffing rest centres and helping whenever there’s a local disaster. I haven’t had to do this just yet, but the training has been fun, and I feel prepared for when I inevitably get the call one day to jump into action. Our continuity plans include knowing what to do if-and-when various disasters happen, including cyberattacks, fuel shortages, war, snow, nuclear disaster, and a pandemic (hey, we actually needed this one). We’re ready for anything, and we know where the wartime bunkers are... just in case.

6) RIDING SHOTGUN WITH A POLICE OFFICER IN AN UNMARKED POLICE CAR DURING A SEARCH FOR A MISSING PERSON.

I felt like a TV detective looking for clues to aid us on our manhunt. Tense background music was playing in my head. I was in my element.

7) HIDING IN A BUSH WHEN I SPOTTED AN EX-BOYFRIEND ON THE STREET OUTSIDE WHEN LEAVING A HOME VISIT.

Just to clarify - I wasn’t visiting his house, but he happened to be walking down the street. In my defence, I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years, and he’d broken my heart. I also wasn’t wearing any make up and was dressed in frumpy work clothes, so I wasn’t prepared to let him see me. I just hope the family I was visiting wasn’t watching me out their window.

8) BEING LEFT TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE’S PETS WHEN THEY GO INTO HOSPITAL OR A CARE HOME.

Under English law, pets are classed as a person’s property which local authorities are legally required to protect in certain circumstances whilst their owner is unable to do so.

During my time, I’ve dealt with various dogs, cats, tropical fish, pygmy goats, horses, a herd of dairy cattle, a tank of rare breed snakes, a lizard-dragon thing (not sure what it was) and a ferret. Trying to coax an angry flea-ridden cat into a cat carrier to take to a local animal shelter or clearing up after an excitable puppy after it defecated all over the floor would have been a whole lot worse if I didn’t love animals.

9) SOMEHOW BECOMING AN IT WHIZZ ON MICROSOFT EXCEL

On a similar note... actually using my maths skills from my school days to work out how the previous social worker calculated a care package when none of the figures make sense. Who knew GCSE algebra would one day come in handy?!

10) ACCIDENTALLY SITTING IN CAT SICK DURING A HOME VISIT.

Note to self - always check before you sit down. I still feel queasy when I get flashbacks of that feeling of warm sogginess soaking into my clothes and the smell of putrid, regurgitated contents of a cat’s stomach.

How I managed to keep a straight face and continue with the home visit, I do not know.

11) STAYING IN A LUXURY 5* HOTEL FOR AN AWARDS CEREMONY.

I was humbled to be one of the finalists for the national Social Worker of the Year Awards back in 2019 in the adult social worker category. My local authority organised for me and a few managers to stay in the 5-star hotel where the award ceremony was held. Getting to meet lots of incredible colleagues from all over the country and hear about their remarkable work was inspiring. It was one of the highlights of my career and a night I’ll never forget.