Helping children to communicate through play

Helping children to communicate through play

Play therapy can be an extremely effective way of encouraging young children to explain how they are feeling. We find out from trainer, author and certified play therapist, Amanda Seyderhelm, why children respond well to this type of therapy, and how social workers can incorporate elements into their work with children and families.

What is play therapy and why is it so important?

Play therapy is a form of psychotherapy in which play is used as a means of helping children express or communicate their feelings.

Play therapy differs from regular play in that the therapist helps children to address and resolve their own problems. Play provides a safe psychological distance from these and allows expression of thoughts and feelings appropriate to their development.

Whether it’s the grief of bereavement, the strain of divorce or the uncertainty of a new home or school following adoption, I have treated children successfully with play therapy. The benchmark for success is when the presenting problem either reduces significantly or disappears completely. For example, a child who is having regular meltdowns learns how to express their discomfort (frustration and anxiety are the most likely reactions as a result of not being heard) in a way that doesn’t get them ‘into trouble’. This might mean that a child who can’t settle in the classroom, will eventually be able to get through their lessons without shouting out or standing up.

You focus on supporting children who have experienced loss and change. Why does play therapy work so well for these children?

Play is a child’s natural language. Its how primary school children make sense of their world because at that age they do not have the cognitive development to talk directly about their feelings. Therefore, adults need to go into the child’s world and use the language of play.

The play therapy toolkit contains a basic number of creative art mediums, set out by PTUK (Play Therapy UK), the UK’s leading accrediting body for play therapy. This toolkit gives children ways to discover the meaning of their loss without addressing it directly and consists of drawing and painting, sand play, music, puppets, movement and drama, masks, therapeutic storytelling, and dressing up.

The child chooses which medium to play with during each session and uses it to tell the story of how they are feeling.

Is play therapy just for younger children?

Play therapy can be used with children as young as two, all the way up to 18 years. In the youngest age group, up to eight years of age, it is most likely that the play therapy will be ‘indirect’ in scope, whereas for the older age groups, it will be more ‘direct’. Both can be used at some point with any age group.

The decision on which approach to use is determined by the level of cognitive development the child has. An older child is more likely to want to talk about their feelings directly, whereas a younger child is more likely to discuss these through metaphorical language. A trained play therapist is skilled at being able to recognise and tailor the approach according to the child’s needs because play therapy is child-centered.

You describe your approach by using a “backpack” metaphor. Can you explain what you mean by this?

All children (and adults) carry what I call an ‘invisible backpack’. This contains their emotional baggage of worries, anxieties and fears. When a child’s behaviour starts to show signs of stress, it is usually because the emotional load in their backpack has become too heavy. This means they are feeling overwhelmed by their baggage and have no way of offloading it. They need a person and space to be able to take some of their baggage out and process it.

That’s what happens in play therapy. The aim is to lighten their backpack load so that they have more room in their heads to be able to express themselves in a way that is comfortable for them.

What are some common behavioural signs that indicate a child may be suffering and could benefit from play therapy?

The most common behavioural sign, the one I see most in my practice, is child meltdowns, where the child is having regular angry outbursts at home and at school. Associated with this will be poor concentration and focus as well as a general unwillingness to observe boundaries.

This is most commonly associated with the grief of bereavement, the strain of divorce or the uncertainty of a new home or school following adoption. All of these associations are what we call external triggers for the child. If the child has people around them who can help them express their feelings during these transitions, they will not be as affected by the triggers. However, when adults are struggling with their own feelings, and I see this in all of these associations, this reduces the child’s capacity to cope, especially in the early years' age group, where their language has not yet developed to the point where they can articulate clearly how they feel.

What are the necessary tools for a social worker to create their own dedicated play therapy kit?

Play therapy is a recognised and accredited four-year training and I recommend that social workers look at what’s involved in this if they are interested in adding play therapy to their skills. Yet it is possible to include some aspects of the play therapy toolkit, such as therapeutic storytelling, drawing, and painting kit into the social worker’s toolkit.

Additionally, social workers need to have knowledge of how to create a therapeutic frame with the child; how to hold and contain the child’s emotional story, how to work with transference and countertransference that arises typically between child and social worker, they should also know the difference between their story and the child’s (this part is critical for therapeutic engagement and development and helps the social worker to avoid getting stuck) in the therapeutic process. These elements are included in my professional training workshops.

Social workers on my courses who have learnt how to work with transference and countertransference have told me they feel less stressed and more resilient. I liken this to knowing which container to decant into. Conversely, if you don’t know, you are more at risk of overloading your containers which puts you quickly into a situation of feeling overwhelmed.

Can you tell us more about your training workshops?

I run a one-day CPD accredited training course on ‘how to cope with bereavement in childhood development’. This teaches social workers how to use and incorporate therapeutic storytelling into their toolkit when they are dealing with bereaved children and families.

It is unique in that it teaches professionals how to identify and overcome any obstacles they may be facing in their own life, especially in relation to adult bereavements, which can often get in the way if they remain unresolved. By learning the building blocks of therapeutic storytelling as it applies to them, professionals learn how to introduce this framework to children.

You’re a published author and have written several books for both children and professionals on the subjects such as trauma and bereavement. How can social workers use these books to inform their practice?

It’s useful to see my books as prompts when working with children. The stories provide a therapeutic framework for the social worker to begin a conversation with the child. Use the story to explore the child’s feelings; this indirect exploration will help them open up to the social worker.

My new book, 'Helping Children Cope with Loss and Change: A guide for professionals and parents' (Routledge) explains whether it’s the grief of bereavement, the strain of divorce or the uncertainty of a new home or school. Loss and change can affect children in countless ways. Nevertheless, professionals and parents frequently find themselves ill-equipped to help children struggling with the difficult feelings that these situations, and others like them, can bring.

Want to know more?

To purchase 'Helping Children Cope with Loss and Change: A guide for professionals and parents' please visit routledge.com. To find out more about Amanda, or to view details of her training programmes, visit amandaseyderhelm.com. Alternatively, phone 01572 492 060.