3 minute read
Why Lemn decided it was time to take back Christmas
Lemn Sissay OBE reveals why The Christmas Dinner Project means so much to so many care leavers across the country.
“Christmas can be split into two kinds of people, those who look into the windows of houses of others, and those who look out.”
Lemn Sissay OBE puts down the well-thumbed copy of his 2008 poetry book, Listener, and looks over his glasses.
‘It may not be the best of poems, but it says everything,” he says.
“Throughout my childhood, and on leaving care, Christmas was always a reminder of everything I’d never had.
“The moment the Christmas adverts began, there was always this sense of dread that began to creep over me.”
Lemn, whose pregnant mother came to Britain from Ethiopia, was only a few months old when he entered the UK care system, spending the next 17 years moving from foster home to foster home.
THE 54-YEAR-OLD, WHO JOKED IN HIS 2013 TED TALK THAT AS A CHILD OF THE STATE, MARGARET THATCHER - THE PM AT THE TIME - WAS LEGALLY HIS MOTHER, REVEALS CHRISTMAS WAS ALWAYS A DIFFICULT TIME FOR HIM.
“The people around me would begin to migrate back to their own dysfunctional families for these beautiful celebrations that only the people inside those families understand,” he recalls.
“You know what I mean; each year your mum cooks the potatoes the way she cooks them, you take your partner there for Christmas, and you tell them ‘don’t mention the potatoes.’ At some point your grandma will cry, your sister will be late, something will be spilled, and there will be a bit of a fallout.
“THIS BEAUTIFUL TAPESTRY OF FAMILY WAS SOMETHING I WASN’T PRIVY TO, AND SO THERE WAS AN INVISIBLE STRESS I CARRIED WITH ME THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE CHRISTMAS PERIOD.
“I know there are a lot of care leavers out there who feel that same sense of invisibility the closer Christmas comes.”
Lemn taps a finger on the cover of the book in his hands: “That three-line freeform poem encapsulates why I wanted to launch The Christmas Dinner project.”
Lemn launched The Christmas Dinner project in Manchester in 2013, inspired to create an event to help communities provide local care leavers with an amazing Christmas Day.
“I didn’t want to make something that ‘would do’ for care leavers,” he says, with a shake of his head.
“I wanted high standards - great food, prepared by chefs, brilliant presents that would leave people feeling that excitement and shock you do when, as a kid, you get something absolutely amazing for Christmas.
“And I wanted to bring communities together - care leavers, social workers, volunteers - to unite and celebrate the day in a positive way.”
Last year, The Christmas Dinner project held celebrations in 21 UK towns and cities, with each event organised by a local steering group of volunteers. Lemn is quick to drive home the importance of The Christmas Dinner events being held on December 25th.
“A lot of other care leaver Christmas dinners aren’t held on Christmas Day, but rather on a day that’s convenient for the services supplying them. While this is perhaps understandable, it doesn’t take away from the stress of the day for those young people, which is the entire point.”
Lemn recalls his own Christmas Days, after leaving care at 17, describing them as “a time of depression.”
“I would close my doors and just not engage with the outside world,” he says simply.
“As Christmas came closer, with the dark nights, there was a tide of depression that filled me. I just gave up, and locked myself away, and that became my habitual behaviour. It felt like a darkness I could drown in."
His eyes twinkle as he adds: “I started The Christmas Dinner project because I wanted my Christmases back - and I got them.”
“I WANTED TO GIVE THE WIDER COMMUNITY THE OPPORTUNITY TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE LIFE OF THE CARE LEAVER, TO DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR A GROUP OF PEOPLE RIGHT ON THEIR DOORSTEP.
“I believe the community, outside of social services and the care system, has cultivated a prejudice against young people in care, and social workers, so I wanted to unite them in doing something positive for a young person clearly in need on a particular day - to wrap their arms around them, and take care of their own.”
