what is love?

The explanation of a loving relationship is diverse and without limitation; the result of physical and emotional highs and lows, accompanied by, believe it or not—irrational thoughts— can cause strife and upheaval within the most stoic or logical. Still, we search for the perfect choice.

Adding to the uncertainty of bonding are the power struggles that define partnerships. The episodes of battle, resolving to a peaceful existence, are unique gifts only humankind can experience.

Loving relationships are described as overwhelming, baffling, and significantly challenging; for these reasons, we repeatedly return for an opportunity to become successful at love.

Is love the same for everyone? It’s a good question, and this month we share what we found.

While the February covers reflect diverse partnerships and loving relationships, it is a small sample and the tip of the iceberg of the many forms of emotional attraction and pairing we’ve come to know.

The depth and breadth of human interactions and emotions are endless and nearly impossible to describe in totality. However, those who study relationships hypothesized that individuals find similar attributes in others as they see in themselves if viewed through interpersonal congruency. The ‘likeness’ attributed to a lover yields a commonality of physical and emotional connection. There is a uniformity those who “fall in love” experience; no one is so unique that they can be removed from the complexities of interpersonal connections.

Combining individual idiosyncrasies, attachment styles, past trauma, education, and preferences, including sexual identity, result in the same explosive release of pleasure chemicals flooding one’s self when finding a partner. These connections can be categorically classified as experiencing love.

As diverse as some may wish to be, ‘connecting’—by the most avantgarde—remain explainable by sorting out principles of human interactions. While sexual fluidity runs a continuum, and some will alternate from whom they find an attraction, when they have difficulties in a relationship, they will succumb to the same problems and outcomes of others with different orientations.

The variable of age in the spectrum of how and why partners make selections is interesting. Researchers found, “Romantic relationships change significantly with age, from the relatively fleeting and casual experiences characteristic of adolescence, to the more lasting and intimate bonds representative of adulthood,” (Meier & Allen, 2009).

Additionally, (Connolly & Johnson, 1996) discovered that, “…relationship length is linked to the quality of the relationship. Longer relationships have greater levels of support, and with length, the romantic partner increases in salience as a support provider...adolescents in longer relationships rated their romantic partner as more supportive than parents and friends, whereas individuals in shorter relationships rated their best friends and parents as more supportive than their romantic partners.”

A relationship’s strength is factored in its participants’ honesty and integrity. Balancing empathy, commitment, and the importance of the connection will ultimately lead to satisfaction and longevity, regardless of who you love. H