from Women To Watch Upper Chesapeake 2024

Owner

A. B. O’Donnell Funeral Services

Story by Erik Halberg Photos by Jenn Quinn Creative

The passing of a loved one is a sad, stressful event in anyone’s life, often associated with quiet funeral homes, expensive coffins, and men in suits. However, Alexandra O’Donnell is blazing a path for women to make the process of laying a loved one to rest just a little bit easier with a bit of compassion and a touch of care as the funeral director and founder of Elkton’s A. B. O’Donnell Cremation and Funeral Services, P.A.

A Cecil County native and Rising Sun High School graduate, the now-30 years old O’Donnell grew up in a home that served as the unofficial hospice for her extended family. Growing up, she watched as her mother would care for their family members, easing them through the difficult times, and helping O’Donnell herself find her calling in life.

“Seeing her handle all of that with such grace and compassion,” O’Donnell said. “It made me realize how important it is to have that when someone is passing. I wanted to be someone who could offer that.”

It was during this period of watching her mother bring family members into their home and care for them in their final days that O’Donnell grew more and more interested in a career in funeral homes. But it was in the final stretch of her high school days, when she was 17 going on 18, that O’Donnell says she really fell in love with the science of the funeral process.

“People don’t realize how much science goes into it,” O’Donnell said. “It’s a lot of chemistry, anatomy, and physiology.”

Her interest in the field piqued, O’Donnell made the decision to go to college and study the field further. She also spent time working in and doing an apprenticeship at funeral homes her in Cecil County. After graduation, she turned her efforts to working in a couple of different funeral homes in Baltimore.

“To gain variety,” O’Donnell said.

But O’Donnell noticed the same trend at all of these funeral homes that concerned her: a focus on sales and profits rather than on compassion and being about the families. Funeral directors would place more importance on getting families to buy the bigger, fancier coffin than on whether or not the family was getting the support and comfort they needed throughout the funeral process.

She also noted just how expensive some of the funeral packages were, often in funeral homes in and around Cecil County, as she recalled the Baltimore-based funeral homes she worked in receiving calls from Cecil residents who were looking for more affordable funeral homes.

“You don’t have to go into debt to lay your loved ones to rest,” O’Donnell said.

Having identified a need in the community, O’Donnell set out to make a change. She began by going back to mortuary school in Baltimore – which she said was much harder than her undergraduate degree, but she also has found herself using every bit of skill and knowledge from school in her everyday job.

“They make it as challenging as possible because it’s a very important job,” O’Donnell said.

During her time in mortuary school, O’Donnell met a strapping Irishman named Oisin O’Donnell at his job running the Irish pub that the mortuary students would congregate at late at night. Between her studies and working at Phillips Seafood to help pay her way through school, O’Donnell managed to convince Oisin to go out with her.

The couple are now married and have a girl, Isla, 3, and a boy, Oisin Jr., 2, with a third child due in July.

After getting her degree, O’Donnell and Oisin set out together on a journey: moving back to Elkton and opening O’Donnell’s own funeral home.

In April 2023, O’Donnell opened the doors on A. B. O’Donnell Cremation and Funeral Services. Just south of the Elkton Road–I-95 junction, O’Donnell said that they have helped over 100 families lay their loved ones to rest in the almost-year they have been in business.

“It’s been going really well,” O’Donnell said. “We have great reviews. We’ve worked with a lot of families that wouldn’t have otherwise been able to afford laying their loved ones to rest.”

Many families who can’t afford the services of a funeral home, their recourse is turning to the Anatomy Board in Baltimore, effectively surrendering their loved ones body for cremation.

“A lot of the time you don’t get your loved one’s ashes back,” O’Donnell said. “It’s very tragic.”

That’s part of the idea behind O’Donnell’s funeral home: providing burial options for families that are both affordable and dignified.

And it seems to be going well, with the 100-plus services performed in just a year show.

“It’s my hometown and I knew there was a need for something like this up here,” O’Donnell said. “It feels better doing it this way than it did selling.”

While the new funeral director in town has seen a lot of positivity and grateful families, being a woman who is a funeral director has been one of the challenges she has faced. People shaking her male assistant’s hand before hers, others asking ‘is this your husband’s business?’, and expressing the hope that there’s someone else with her to help with moving things,

O’Donnell said she’s seen quite a bit of sexism in her career – but she’s optimistic for the future of Cecil County’s funeral homes.

“Hopefully all that’s changing here,” O’Donnell said. “The next generations of most of the [Cecil County] funeral homes are all women.”

O’Donnell is excited to see how things change and operate differently when more women take the reins of the funeral homes. She noted that she has observed that women funeral directors tend to have a bit more compassion, nurturing, and care towards people; as well as a little bit more care and attention to detail. Which, she quickly clarified, is not to say that she hasn’t seen plenty of men funeral directors with similar levels of care and compassion. However, O’Donnell noted that she has “noticed it a lot more in women.”

Running her own funeral home, while also beginning a young family, has been another – quite different –challenge for O’Donnell. She and Oisin decided on moving to Cecil County as much of O’Donnell’s family is still in the area, a perk that she says has helped function as a impromptu daycare service when needed, a lifesaver for O’Donnell. She has also been working with Cecil County Public Schools as an AP Science mentor. As a mentor, O’Donnell has been working with a high school student throughout the academic year, offering advice, working on projects together, and helping to run experiments.

Oisin has also gotten into the family business with O’Donnell, becoming a licensed crematory operator.

“He was made for this,” O’Donnell said fondly. “He’s also giant so he shows up and people are very relieved.”

Despite the challenges she faces, O’Donnell finds professional fulfillment daily.

“When you are handing a loved one back to a family member or closing out a service, and they come up and are so appreciative, it’s very humbling and rewarding,” O’Donnell said.

The philosophy behind A.B. O’Donnell is one that she says she hopes can change the industry from what it is somewhat. Not focusing on sales, not having high services or casket prices, but making sure that their customers feel cared for.

“Their loved ones wouldn’t want them to be put in a position where they have to choose between getting their grandmother a very expensive wood casket or making a bill payment,” O’Donnell said.

The motto of the funeral home is: “We hope you never need us, but we’re here when you do,” which is the kind of compassion that O’Donnell wants to continue bringing to the industry.

Located at 4 Warner Road in Elkton, A.B. O’Donnell Cremation and Funeral Services, P.A. can accommodate any kind of funeral service for your loved one. O’Donnell can be reached 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Krista Bryan

Co-Owner & Coach Equity Fitness

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A WOMAN TO WATCH?

I feel very surprised and it is something I would have never expected. It makes me feel honored to have received the nomination.

WHAT IS ENRICHING ABOUT YOUR WORK IN THE FITNESS COMMUNITY, BOTH AS A GYM OWNER AND A TRAINER?

I get to meet/train people from all walks of life. From kids to teens to almost 8 decades of life.

HOW DO YOU BALANCE YOUR WORK AS A GYM OWNER AND TRAINER WITH YOUR OWN FAMILY LIFE AND YOUR OWN CAREER AS A CROSSFIT ATHLETE?

Balance comes from several things: First being my family/support system. The statement “sometimes it takes a village” is accurate. My husband co-owns the gym and we are a true team both as owners and in our relationship as partners and parents. Life is ever changing as is our health and fitness. My fitness before I had our daughter was a little more competitive/flexible, but is now more focused on keeping the body moving and staying consistent in the gym.

Just because a major life event may happen, health and fitness is a lifelong journey and needs to be incorporated somehow.

Again, if you have a support system (family/friends/our awesome staff) they will help keep you consistent in being able to make time for yourself. If I am not working on myself NOW, it will make life in my aging years more challenging.

WHAT IS SOME ADVICE THAT YOU WOULD GIVE TO ONE PURSUING CAREERS IN FITNESS, NUTRITION, OR RUNNING THEIR OWN GYM?

The fitness realm is alway evolving. Owning a gym or any business is not an easy task. If you have a passion both in your career and life it gives you more joy in your work. Having a growth mindset along the way and always having an open mind and being eager to learn more will keep you growing. The fitness industry may not be the highest earning salary but you can grow it to where you want to be if you work hard. A fitness career is a relationship business. You need to believe in what you provide, CARE about who you work with and that can really help you create a following; location can help as well.

WHAT IS MOST FULFILLING ABOUT YOUR WORK? WHAT MOST MOTIVATES YOU TO CONTINUE DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING?

Seeing the changes and progress of those we work with is very fulfilling. Whether it is our 70 year old members getting stronger and more capable with their every day life or our 20-30 year old members getting their first high skill movement (i.e. pull up/muscle up). It is through their consistency and success that demonstrates what we do is helping them to be better everyday and for their future lives.

The feeling of being helpful and bettering one’s life is a powerful experience. We live in a world that has an epidemic of being sedentary. We need to move and build muscle mass throughout our lives to continue our independence as we age and I/WE want to try and help as many people as we can to live as long as they can.