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THE PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR DORSET FAMILIES

Spring 2019

My Baby Couldn’t Breathe

Baby Roo’s rare condition meant extreme surgery at 4 weeks old

Peace at Last?

How to get a good night’s sleep for the whole family

WIN! ORGANIX GOODIES WORTH £100

Potty Mouth

We talk potty training

techniques and tips.

REAL LIFE SHOPPING ADVICE RECIPES COMPETITIONS

contents

06BEAUTIFUL YOU

Fashion for your blooming bump

08 FROM THE MIDWIFE

We hear from a local midwife about all the ways to give birth.

14 POTTY TALK

Ideas and tips for getting started with toilet training.

SLEEP PERCHANCE

22 TO DREAM

Is sleep a thing of the past for you?

26 JUST BREATHE

Reuben’s fight for breath was an eight week battle...

33 WHAT’S COOKING?

Cook up a storm with our recipe from Dorset’s Hari Hari kitchen

34 DORSET FAMILY DINING

Read our restaurant review on The Stable in Poole.

36 WET WET WET

Bed-wetting advice, support and help from a pro.

The gorgeous Ophelia is our cover model. Photograph by Alma’s Home Studio, Blandford www.almashomestudio.uk

41 BABY BOOK CLUB

Join our new baby book club!

42 CHEEKY FACES

Let’s see those cheesy grins!

44 WHO GIVES A SH...

Contributor Louisa talks about how her family are living a greener life

47 WIN WITH ORGANIX

We’ve teamed up with Organix to find Dorset’s funniest baby feeding photo!

52 FOREVER ANGEL

One mum’s words on losing her son at birth

53 DORSET DAYS OUT

Dorsetmums gives us ideas on fun family days out when it’s cold outside!

54 KIDS CORNER

Grab a quick cuppa while the kids are quiet!

MAKING AN

8

Let me introduce myself; my name is Rosie, and I am a midwife working at Poole hospital, currently as part of the elective Caesarean section team.

I wish I could remember the exact moment I realised my calling to midwifery but what I do remember is that, from about the age of fifteen, I intuitively just knew that I wanted to be a midwife. I carefully selected my A-level options with consideration of the required qualifications for acceptance on to the midwifery Diploma course and haven’t looked back since. Sure, I’ve had some wobbles along the way, but I love my job and my ‘second family’ at Poole, where I have been employed for the last eleven and a half years.

I am always proud to answer 'I am a midwife'

I consider myself to be very privileged in my job; it is, without doubt, a gratifying profession; one which brings much job satisfaction. To become involved so

EXIT PLAN

intimately in the lives of women and their families; supporting them through what is a very vulnerable and life-changing moment in their life journeys is an honour. When I am asked what I do for a job, I am always proud to answer ‘I am a midwife’ (or ‘madwife’ as we sometimes joke in the profession - it takes a particular type of person to make it as a midwife).

The Highs

There have been so many high points along the way that I would be hard pushed to choose just one! However, one that springs to mind was during my case loading experience as a student midwife. After supporting a friend and mummy-to-be through her entire gruelling 23-hour labour, I finally had the incredible experience of welcoming my godson into the world (he is now a strapping 13-year-old lad!). Another particular highlight came during my final shift as a student before qualifying. I delivered the second baby of a woman whose first baby had been my first birth as a student midwife; thus ending my training with a feeling of having come full circle.

way to go mums

From my experience and observations, I would like to start by saying that pregnant women sometimes can become very focused on birth. They spend a vast amount of time

during their pregnancies worrying about the birth, often hearing accounts of birth stories with varying degrees of horror from wellmeaning friends and family. As much as people want to share their stories, we should allow a mum-to-be to enjoy her pregnancy, the incredibleexperience of growing a new person, without filling her with dread about a situation that is unavoidable.

any way that baby makes his way into the world is natural, courageous & beautiful

The most important thing is that baby arrives safely into the world and that both mum and baby are healthy as they start their new life together. As a midwife, I see so much guilt, shame and upset over what is termed ‘natural birth’. New mums who feel that they have ‘failed as a woman’ if they have not ‘done it right’, as if a C-section or intervention is somehow lesser. Well, let me tell you mamas, any way that baby makes his way into the world is natural, courageous and beautiful.

Delivery time

And so, let me see how I can offer you some help by briefly outlining the birth options available to pregnant women.

Vaginal birth

This is where the baby is born via the birth canal. This can be subcategorised into ‘spontaneous’ (occurring without assistance) and ‘instrumental’ (requiring assistance). Spontaneous vaginal births can occur in a birthing pool as opposed to on dry land if this in an option deemed suitable for you. Instruments that are used to assist birth can be either ventouse, which is a suction

cup applied to the baby’s head, or forceps, which are two metal instruments that look like tongs or large spoons that are applied to either side of the baby’s head. In both instances the mother continues to bear down while the obstetrician simultaneously applies gentle traction on the baby’s head to enable birth.

There are many reasons that an instrumental birth may be used, such as maternal fatigue or concerns about your baby’s well-being during the final stage of labour. The RCOG (Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists) estimates that 1 in 8 births in the UK is an instrumental delivery.

Caesarean Section

This is where the baby is born via an abdominal ‘Pfannenstiel’ incision, which is a curved transverse incision made just above the bikini line. This can be subcategorised into ‘elective’ (planned) and ‘emergency’ (unplanned) Caesarean section. Caesarean sections are further categorised dependent on the level of urgency, ranging from a Category 1 Caesarean section (which generally requires a general anaesthetic) where either the mother or baby’s life is deemed to be at imminent risk, to a Category 4 (elective) Caesarean section, which will be carried out at a time which suits both the mother and Caesarean section team (and in most instances is carried out with the mother awake under spinal anaesthetic).

There are a number of reasons that an elective Caesarean section may be deemed the most appropriate option for birth.

These include, but are not limited to;

• Placenta praevia (where the placenta covers the cervix, blocking the path for the baby to be delivered vaginally)

• Tocophobia (fear of childbirth)

• Known breech presentation (although mother may opt to attempt a vaginal breech birth in this case)

• Previous Caesarean section (although the mother may choose in this case to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarean section).

Emergency Caesarean sections may be indicated for many reasons. This can be prior to labour starting, for example, in the case of a placental abruption (where the placenta peels away from the wall of your uterus) or cord prolapse (where a loop of umbilical cord drops down through your cervix into the vagina ahead of the baby); these can

also happen during labour. Sometimes emergency Caesarean section may become necessary during the labour process if, for example, there are concerns regarding the wellbeing of the mother or baby, labour fails to progress, or baby is in the wrong position. Dependent on the degree of urgency, stage of labour, and pain relief you already have on board, emergency Caesarean sections may be undertaken with either epidural, spinal or general anaesthetic for pain relief. The RCOG estimates that 25% of births in the UK are by Caesarean section, comprising 10% elective Caesarean section and 15% emergency Caesarean section.

Childbirth is such a vast topic, that it would be impossible to cover everything in one issue. So in the next issue we will be looking at your choices on where to give birth.

Life in Colour

By Sian, mum of two

When I was pregnant with

my daughter I remember looking at baby clothes and being outraged - all the girls clothes were boring! Why do boys get all the cool anchor and skull prints? Years later I had my son and learnt the real truth: boys clothes are REALLY boring. Do you want black, blue or grey? Oh, you want something else?! No no, don’t be silly. Boys don’t wear yellow/purple/red/multicoloured stripes or spots! What’s going on? Are clothes manufacturers worried that too much variety will threaten not-even-developed-yet masculinity? Are parents worried that little willies will shrivel and fall off if old ladies accidentally coo over their adorable little ‘girl’?

Of course there is more variety available through clothing lines such as Frugi, Little Bird etc, but at twice the cost (maybe to cover lawsuits over those little lost willies?).

My son is boisterous, loud, cheerful, bright and busy. He is not subdued, dark and fading into the background - why don’t his clothes reflect that? So I’m fighting back where I can. Colourful cloth nappies, rainbow toys, buying the brightest clothes in the shop and complaining loudly about the limited range. I’ve even made dungarees for him and his mates and the added bonus is he’s easy to spot!

Viva la colour revolution!

5 easy swaps to be more green

1. Meat for Veg

Reducing or cutting out meat from your diet is the single most effective way to reduce your footprint. By replacing a couple of meat dishes a week with a veggie alternative, you will have a very positive impact on the environment, your wallet and your health!

2. Grey Water

Sounds gross, but it isn’t. ‘Grey’ water is water you have used in your house already, like for washing up, in the bath or in a condenser dryer. You can then use that to water the garden, rather than using your outside tap.

3. Clothes

The clothing industry is the second biggest contributor to pollution in the world. ‘Fast fashion’ means that while clothes are affordable, they’re also less eco-friendly. What can you do? Find brands that are sustainable, buy secondhand and repurpose old clothes. They make fab dust cloths, bunting or chair covers!

4. Walk This Way

This one is kinda obvious, but we’re going to say it anyway - walk when you can.

5. Life in Plastic?

It’s far from fantastic. Plastic waste is a very real problem; little that we buy comes without it. You can be more conscientious with your purchases, look for items that are wrap free.

We’re committed to supporting a greener Dorset - head to our blog to see how you can join us in making a difference.

Learn how to massage your baby in a welcoming & supportive class. Run by Katherine, a certified instructor with the world leading International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM)

Some benefits of massage for your baby:

tt

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Relieves wind, colic, constipation & teething discomfort Stimulates circulation, digestion, nervous & lymphatic systems Enhances bond with you & your baby Develops body awareness & coordination Increases recognition of facial & emotional expressions which support development of social skills

Courses are available in group environment, host your own group or one to one classes. To find out more information and to book your place contact Katherine:

07802 545554 babymassagebykatherine@hotmail.com www.littledreamersbabymassage.co.uk

Or find us on Facebook Little Dreamers Baby Massage by Katherine

somethingNew

THE PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR DORSET FAMILIES

Loves

Going green isn’t just about recycling more and creating less waste - it’s about being more conscientious of all of the products we use in daily life. Each issue we’re going to share our favourite ideas for living a more eco-friendly lifestyle.

Bamboo

Bamboo is a brilliant alternative to plastic, paper and fabric. It’s strong, durable and has a low environmental impact. These awesome bowls from BambooBamboo (www. bamboobamboo.co) show just how practical, yet pretty, your eco-friendly dinnerwear can be.

Bamboo takes a little care to prolong its lifespan; our top tips are to lightly oil with a food safe mineral oil, wash in warm water immediately after use and allow to fully dry before putting away. They’re so lovely to look at, we don’t mind them hanging out on the drying rack!

Bamboo suction bowls from £14.99 bamboobamboo.co

Bamboo as a fabric is naturally anti-bacterial, super soft and absorbent. We love these hooded towels from Green Bear (www.green-bear.co.uk), which has its head office in Poole.

Bamboo hooded towel £11.85 green-bear.co.uk

We’ve also tried the bamboo socks and can honestly say, they are INCREDIBLY soft and cosy. Head to Green Bear’s website for more info, and to see a host of environmentally friendly products.

80 Fernside Road Poole BH15 2JL

Tel: 01202 259412

Fernside Road

littlebeansdcare@gmail.com

breakfast & after school clubs www.littlebeansdaycare.com

Ofsted registered: EY481492

Sally Weber-Spokes joined Yarrells School and Nursery in September of last year. Speaking of the school recently, she said, ‘The warmth that radiates from Yarrells is palpable; every single member of the school community is committed to nurturing and developing children’s confidence and resilience from the earliest age.’

‘The beauty of the school is multi-faceted. Not only are we a family of committed teachers and support staff looking to grow all our children in the best possible way, but we inhabit a spacious and tranquil woodland site in which children can play and explore together; we offer our tiniest two year-olds a gorgeous start in school life through our Greenwood Nursery woodland setting: it is such a light, airy and wonderfully warm place to begin one’s school journey. The children benefit from fabulous early years’ expertise, where the holistic curriculum focuses on developing the whole child and progressing

as an individual. Our little people bounce through the day with joy, enjoying creative and stimulating activities, both in the classroom and in our wild wood outdoor learning areas. What’s more, they also benefit from specialist teaching in sport, swimming, music, French, drama and dance within their daily curriculum, all from such a young age. This means we are able to give them the very best opportunities and start in life.’

Sally Weber-Spokes bubbled with enthusiasm and pride in the school she leads and extends a warm welcome to any parent considering independent prep education to come and visit to see the beauty of Yarrells for themselves.

Please take the opportunity to join our Parent and Toddler groups: Music Box (Mondays at 14:30, free), Happy Feet (Tuesdays at 10:00, £5 per session) and Mini-Monets (Thursdays at 10:00, £5 per session).

I’m Karina, wife and full-time working mummy to five year old twins, Lincoln and Morgan. As I’m sure any working family would agree, balancing family and working life is not for the faint hearted. For a start, you can kiss goodbye to sleep, because no matter how much effort you have put into perfecting a solid sleep routine, you can always rely on something getting in the way of the recommended 7-8 hours. Teething babies, poorly children, endless toilet trips (I really must work on those pelvic floor exercises!), chores eating into the night... the list goes on!! And catching up on sleep during the day simply isn’t an option...well not if you value your job anyway! And as if the lack of sleep isn’t enough to get used to, time-keeping has a whole new meaning to it.

In this together

Karina is a regular columnist for Something New, sharing her experience of IVF, raising twins, motherhood, working and everything in between. Here’s her first installment...

Fitting 24 hours’ worth of jobs into a 24 hour period is a thing of the past. Life with kids really does teach you that there are not enough hours in the day. But beyond the challenges are rewards bigger than any. I have been lucky to be surrounded by amazing people offering support and direction along every step of the way. So I would like to give a little back and share some tips and advice that I have been fortunate enough to receive. So starting with what has to be my favourite tip:

#1: Always make some time for yourself. Don’t just say you are going to do it, DO IT! For me, I dedicate every Monday evening (well nearly every Monday….we will come to that later) to myself. My weekly pamper evening. This is the time I take to ‘relax and revive’. Whether it’s touching up the greys (and boy are they coming through faster than ever!), giving myself a mini facial or refreshing last weeks chipped nails, I always take this time to be by myself. Candles, relaxing music and maybe the odd glass (ahem…bottle) of wine. And by the end of it, I’m ready to take on any week!

Karina will be sharing her IVF experience in the next issue.

Cook

with Hari Hari Sri Lanken Spices

Like most of you, I’ve bought the plain hummus, the coriander one, the red pepper one, the garlic one...but I’m yet to come across a curry flavoured one. Enter Hari Hari Sri Lankan curry spices.

At Hari Hari we’re really excited to be able to bring more exotic tastes to the table. Introducing textures and flavours from a young age gives kids a great variety of food, and paves the way for fuss free mealtimes. Here’s our recipe for a tasty family favourite!

Preparation Time: 5 - 10 minutes Makes: 500g Eating time: Seconds!

INGREDIENTS 400g tin of chickpeas (drained) 8 - 10 tbs olive oil 1 tbs tahini 1/2 tsp tumeric powder 1/2 tsp roasted curry powder Handful of chopped parsley 2-3 large crushed garlic cloves 1 tps lemon juice 3-5 tbs water (depending on your desired consistency) Salt to taste

LET’S GET MAKING! Add all the ingredients in to a food processor and blend. I like my hummus a little coarser so I only blend it until all the ingredients are mixed in, but if you prefer a smoother consistency blend for longer. Pour out of the blender and store in a glass jar or dish and loosely cover to prevent it drying out - and that’s it!

WHY NOT TRY? Instead of parsley, you could add a couple of handfuls of fresh coriander leaves or basil leaves.

If you haven’t got roasted curry powder, you could also try cumin powder or coriander powder for a taste variation.

Add a pinch of chilli powder if you like your hummus with a bit of a kick.

We provide all manner of garden services; from regular lawn mowing to full landscaping services. If you would like to get your garden ready for the spring and summer months, get in touch to see how we can help!

lawns | artificial grass | hedges | boarders & bedding | garden clearance | landscaping | regular maintenance

Get in touch: 07795535027 or email: diondigs@outlook.com

Hello!

Here at DiGS no job is too little and we offer all aspects of garden work. The most popular services include:

- Lawn care (cutting, 4 season treatments, aeration & scarification, over seeding) - Artificial turf (supply and lay - various options available) - Hedge cutting - Turfing - Boarders and beddings - Garden clearance - Landscaping - Regular and scheduled visits to maintain your garden

We are qualified, insured, experienced and family friendly!

Please see our Facebook page ‘@DiGSgardens’ for recent work and reviews. Get in touch: 07795 535027 or email: diondigs@outlook.com.

Please do not hesitate to get in touch for a chat and quote. Thanks a lot, Dion - DiGS

Cheeky Faces!

Send in your cheeky grins, each issue there’s a gift for one bambino! Send your photos to pics@somethingnewmag.co.uk

Albert is so happy to see you!

All Hail princess Tallulah

presenting the beautiful lily

Milo had the best Christmas!

Lucy’s grin is as nutty as she is!

Elsie is looking fierce

so fresh & so clean, beau

Not quite the spa day Joseph had planned....

finley goes down to the woods today

Layla and Baby Jessie are the perfect pair

Peek-A-Boo Reece!

That’s a proper cheeky grin, theo!

Elodie loves making a delicious sandwich!

Riley looks great in his new hat

Luna looks like butter wouldn’t melt...

Win!

When it comes to weaning, Organix have got you covered! Their deliciously tasty no junk organic finger foods are ideal for babies learning to feed themselves – they’re foods to fuel their wonder.

Because all the foods come with the Organix No Junk Promise (they are made with the best organic ingredients and contain nothing unnecessary)mums and dads can rest assured that these are finger foods they can trust and their little one will enjoy.

We love the Organix finger food range, not only is it ideal as first finger food for babies from 6 months learning to feed themselves because of the easy chunky shapes for little ones to grab hold of, it’s also good for bigger kids too!

It’s no wonder Organix are the most loved finger foods, from the melty puffs to the light and fruity rice cakes for little (and big!) learners.

We’re looking for Dorset’s funniest weaning pictures!

If you have a child of weaning age, you’ll know just how hilarious eating can be - from new flavours to covering themselves in mush; kids know how to enjoy their food!

Send in your best snap of mealtimes with your little one, and we’ll pick five lucky readers who will each receive an Organix finger food hamper, worth £20!

Photos will be shared on our Facebook and Instagram page, and the winners will have their photos printed in the next issue.

Food is fun!

Send your photos to eleanor@somethingnewmag.co.uk

www.organix.com

One entry per family. Competition closes March 31st. Photos must be free from copyright. No cash alternative. Winners will be notified via Facebook/Instagram. Full Ts & Cs see www.somethingnewmag.co.uk

FIRST

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Toddlers, Preschoolers & Kids

One to One Sessions Group Sessions Yoga Parties Story Time

Facebook: Yogarama with Ali Om Instagram: aliomyogarama2018 07766 835375

* This is for a free group session

!TRIGGERWARNING!

The following page deals with sensitive content concerning infant loss. While hard to read, we feel this is an important space for parents to talk about their children.

Eternal Angel

I was 23 years old when I gave birth to my perfect 7lb 4oz baby boy Merson John George Cane... heartbreaking to say that he was stillborn. He was due on 3/11/98, and he was born sleeping on 1/11/98. Merson was my second child, I already had a daughter called Gemma who was very nearly three.

As soon as he was born I wanted to hold him and kiss him and cuddle him, I longed to hear him cry or feel his hand clasp my finger. I wanted it to be a mistake, and for him to take a breath, the silence was deafening. I spent a few precious hours holding him, caressing him, breathing him in and memorising everything about him. I had photos taken, handprints and a lock of his dark brown hair taken for me to keep. I felt like my world was ending. This wasn’t how things were meant to happen. This should be one of the best and happiest days of my life, not the most painful and heartbreaking and totally unbearable days. I could not stop the tears. I can remember the midwife taking Merson away and having to say goodbye forever...it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do...let go of my much wanted and much loved precious baby boy, the same day he was born..his life snatched away from him before it even began. I could not make sense of it at all. I remember hearing the other babies crying which cut through my heart like a knife and leaving the hospital was horrendous. I can remember seeing another couple walk out with their baby in a car seat, carrying balloons while I was carrying nothing; my arms were empty, and my heart was broken.

I was lucky I had my daughter who gave me the strength to get out of bed in the mornings. The midwife came to visit me a few days later, and that hit me like a tonne of bricks, she should be there to see my baby and weigh him. I couldn’t stop the tears. My milk had come in too, which was a harsh reminder of what I should be doing - feeding my baby. My baby who had died.

I felt angry at myself and my body that it had let me down and failed my son. I felt like the world should stop and realise what had happened to me and notice the pain I was in, but it didn’t. It carried on as normal. People found it difficult to talk to me about Merson it was as if they thought that if they didn’t mention him, I would forget about it, either that or they couldn’t cope with my emotions. The truth is I wanted to talk about him. I needed to talk about him. He did exist, and I needed to voice this. It was very painful to talk about at the time, and it is still very painful to talk about now, but the only way I can deal with it and live with the pain is to talk about it.

I have been fortunate enough to have two more children, Charlie and Emily, however, Merson was my second child, and I will always talk about him, he will never be forgotten. He did exist. Last year, I had a tattoo done with ‘Merson’ and his date of birth with a picture of the angel that is on his headstone.

I’m proud to tell people about him, as I am my other children. I’m a mum of four, and one of my babies is my eternal angel.

Family Fun on Grey Days

By Fiona from Dorsetmums

Hello readers, it’s Fiona from Dorsetmums here with some ideas of family friendly things to do whilst waiting for Spring to come.

On a bright and crisp day most kids will love nothing more than wrapping up for a beach or forest walk and we’re certainly spoilt for places to go. Dorset has some fantastic country parks which have trails to explore, play areas and somewhere nice to grab a cuppa. Our go to places are Moors Valley, Avon Heath, Durlston and Upton Country Park but there’s also some beautiful nature reserves in Arne, Weymouth and Bournemouth which are worth visiting for the walks and wildlife.

Drizzle Days

The weather this time of year can be so incredibly unpredictable and we are very fortunate to have so many soft plays and play cafes on our doorstep. Some are smaller and perfect for young children

and others like Lemur Landings have so much to play on that you’ll struggle to get them out!

We love to visit museums and a favourite with our children is the Tank Museum. Other great places to visit include the Shire Hall Historic Courthouse, The Keep Military Museum and Poole Museum. Nearly every town has a museum brimming with history and activities for the children.

So many adventures

Other attractions which are perfect for this time of year include the Oceanarium, Sealife Adventure Park, RockReef, Farmer Palmers, Adventure Wonderland, Monkey World and Snowtrax. More ideas include visiting a pottery painting café, garden centre, swimming pool, leisure centre, bowling alley, cinema or indoor golf course. Of course, if you’d rather stay at home with the heating on then how about making a den in the

Farmer Palmer’s Farm Park

Stour Valley Nature Reserve

Lemur Landings

living room? Or you could even create your own treasure hunt, get crafting or bake a yummy cake.

For more information on places to go with the family and February half term events, please visit Dorsetmums online: www.dorsetmums.co.uk

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OPEN MORNING FRIDAY 8 MARCH 2019 9:30 - 11:30

Yarrells School & NurseryIndependent Day School for Boys & Girls aged 2 - 13Parent & Toddler Groups

Music Box

Parent & Toddler Music Group - FREE

• Age 18 months to 3 years

• Monday 14:30 - 15:15

Happy Feet

Parent & Toddler Dance Group

• Age 18 months to 3 years

• Tuesdays 10:00 - 10.30

• £5 per session

Mini Monets

Fun, Arts & Crafts Creativity Sessions

• Age 2 to 43 years

• Thursday 10:00 - 10:30

• £5 per session

Call 01202 622 229 or email admissions@yarrells.co.uk At Yarrells Preparatory School & Nursery - Term Time Only

A warm & enriching school that achieves outstanding results